I want to stab myself in the throat
And I could only hope the blood could coat
The pain it is, to hope
Would my blood cover and clot
The brokeness felt in my heart
But the thing is
I'll never cut my throat
The only blood to cover this heart
Was the one who I left to on my cross
His blood
Will only suffice
1d ago
Jun 3, 2026 at 4:38 AM UTC
I purse my lips
As I do, I wonder why
I didn't notice until now
If I have or haven't before
Before I saw her
A pursed lip, pulling her jaw in too
as she hurt
And what am I
a mere copycat
finding ways to connect, subconsciously
But as I do it the same
I can only do it more
The hurt I feel
Expressed by an action, I can only claim
I learned from her
Pursed lips
The emotions she dislikes displaying
Flood all over my face
Until I meet sleep face to face
3d ago
Jun 1, 2026 at 2:46 PM UTC
The cusp of tears
i find myself near
The plateau comes with the words "Us"
A reminder of the crushing truth
That the dream and goal I have of "Us"
Is so far up in the sky
Basically, I'm dying
And now it's all crying
Because I know She's given up
My value, not enough
But I know,
I know,
No matter what
She was, for me
I'd wait,
And wait
And wait
Until He makes this "Us" in His way
Or He takes Her away
Oh God, how long will I chase?
LORD, let me know if I should no longer wait
3d ago
Jun 1, 2026 at 2:42 PM UTC
I let the pile run higher
the caked-on residue
Of all the things I "Really should do."
So many dishes to do
And I left the food to dry on too
I left this job, and now it's past due
It's not up to You to be the one who
washes the dishes too
All I ask is for You to show me where to put the dishes away
I need to wash the dishes again
It's what I need to do
After I wash the dishes, I can better serve You
God, ThankYou
5d ago
May 30, 2026 at 4:52 AM UTC
To know when to and what to
My social cues work
Until they don't
Dissolve into thin air as if they were never there
The words and actions turned into some sort of corrosive acid
Decaying or disfiguring everything that was once there
The expectations held at one point
Tore down the next
It's all good until it isn't
And so I think
Think
Think
Think
The thoughts become a paralysis
Leaving me messier than the start
slow processor, or do I just don't know how to react
As a child, how did I react?
Did I?
I
Don't
Know
The inconsistencies of it all
miss communications
but only with certain people
then torn a part for it
6d ago
May 29, 2026 at 1:34 PM UTC
The tears well up before I can even get words
In 21 seconds
The simplicity
so mundane
overlooked
Yet time was taken?
My mind plays tricks on me again
tossing it around
the puzzling and bewildering in my mind
stir up the peace
The peace I just found
thrown out
losing what I just got
trying to keep it
but knowing the battles lost
the oil on my hands
My hands,
Couldn't carry the pieces I'm not responsible for
The air fills my lungs
Breathe
It is well
6d ago
May 29, 2026 at 1:32 PM UTC
Didn't change at all
A month later
And now my heart feels so much great
I started to hate
only for my mind and heart to negate
the feelings of hate
The hate I gave myself
for still Loving
Every time She's brought up
Everyone says to let it all decay
Just simply throw it all away
How She's not worth,
How it's a losing battle
Even She says it
Even She's "given up"
left me to my own devices
But as I'm left alone
I find my heart and tone
to find Her and Her alone
And when I find Her
I want to rip my heart out
Take the nail, the stake
leaving it to die
But I can't and won't
I have one heart
Even if I don't let go
too stubborn, too hopeful, too Loving?
If this is You, God, help me
If it's just me, help me
God
I
Need
You
6d ago
May 29, 2026 at 12:30 PM UTC
A chopstick piercing through my throat
My tongue tracing the jagged hole unnaturally the roof of my mouth
Organs pulled out one by one
The bullet in my brain, slowly passing through it's tissue
A clay scalper slowly turning my heart into string cheese
Molten rods stabbed into the core of each of my fingers
My spine fractured into smithereens
Glass sandpaper ripping my eye
A needle pokeing into my ear
A vacuum pulling the veins in my eye
The blackhole grasping at me, trying to **** me
6d ago
May 29, 2026 at 12:20 PM UTC
Keeping a handful,
of hardy flowers
holding its worth, even without water
I slipped the white and multi-colored into a square cup
The windowsill becomes its home
before the rest go on to be her decor
The months go by, and all I can assume, the others were thrown out after they died
But mine,
mine
were just fine
resting in the cup, I find
The colors so beautiful and fine
Then there comes a time
Where I need to run and hide
I grab these flowers of mine
Take them with me so that they may not be ruined too in time
If the house I had was going to be burned up in no time
I took the flowers with me this time
I had this cup to hold them in
But now I have to keep them in my hands at all times
Or let them turn to ash in time
7d ago
May 28, 2026 at 2:38 AM UTC
Hearts,
still stuck on my sleeve
This heart is still stuck on my sleeve
But I can't seem to let it be
And the heart strapped tight on the sleeve
is
still
here
with
me
7d ago
May 28, 2026 at 2:08 AM UTC