I THINK OF ALL THOSE TIMES WHEN YOU STEPPED INTO MY DREAMS LIKE HOME AND I WELCOMED YOU WARM
I WATCH YOU IN BETWEEN SHARDS OF CUTTING WINDOW GLASS
IN BETWEEN YOUR THICK GLASSES
WITH DISTORTED IMAGES OF WHO YOU ACTUALLY ARE
BLURS AND WHITE NOISE AND GLITCHES
OF YOUR FORCED SMILES
AND EVERY NIGHT I LISTEN TO YOUR VOICE
THAT IS REDUCED TO WHISPERS
AS IF THEY'RE TRAPPED IN BELL JARS
FOR TOMORROW WHEN I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
TO REMEMBER YOU BY ANYMORE
AND WE ARE SEPARATED BY A PLEXIGLASS

YOUR SUNKEN EYES
THEY REMIND ME OF PLACES

THERE ARE SONGS OUT THERE THAT
ALWAYS
ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS
MAKE ME WANTING YOU TO TOUCH ME
MORE THAN YOU CAN THINK
BUT EVERY BASS LINES MAKE ME RESIST
BECAUSE YOU WERE A LONG GONE BAD MEMORIES
A PART OF A POEM THAT DOESN'T RHYME
A NIGHTMARE THAT WAKES ME UP AT 4.00 A.M.
BUT YOU NEVER DISSOLVED
AND I STILL FEEL LONELY WITHOUT YOUR HANDS TO HOLD
I AM ALMOST ALWAYS ALONE WHEN I THINK OF YOUR TREMBLING HANDS
AS YOU COME BACK INTO MY HEAD
AND I AM REMINDED OF THE LITTLE SCAR ON YOUR ELBOW THAT I LIKE TO TRACE
OR THE NAILS YOU ETCH DEEP INTO MY SKIN
YOUR BODY IS LIKE A MAP
WITH ALL OF THE PRETTY MOUNTAINS AND UNEXPLAINABLE THICK CONTOURS
AND YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL


RIGHT NOW I WANT YOUR SOFT GLANCES
I WANT TO DROWN IN YOUR POETIC GLARES
I WANT TO BE THE NAME YOU WRITE ON YOUR WRIST
I WANT TO LIVE IN RECKLESS MISERY
I WANT TO LISTEN TO SAD LOVE SONGS WITH YOU
I WANT TAKE YOU HOME IN A JAR
SAFE AND UNTOUCHED
CURL UP AND DIE
WITH YOU

OH DEAR
MAYBE THIS IS A GAME; AND THERE IS NO PRIZE TO COME WITH THE PRICE WE PAID
MAYBE THIS IS A WAR; AND MY ROOM IS A BATTLEFIELD RAGING WITH FIRE
MAYBE THIS IS A SONG; AND THOSE SILENT HUSHED NIGHTS ARE THE BASSLINE

i always see you around
being sad
with your pretty head down
plain eyes that gradually fade
with your hands
pressed together
you're looking for a mend
probably a better narrator
and you keep your ghosts
in a jar
and fumbling with words
as you speak
with your imagination of skylark
that you're a crumbling of a creek
i dont know but your sadness is appealing
in these late night streets i'm reeling
it make me sing every song i know in your voice
every line are now just morse
before i told you
that i made a mixtape
from scrap of old love song
with that, my thoughts spew
slowly forming a torn map
to place you and i long for
and your daydreams
they sings me to sleep at night
when you take me into your realm
a world of blurs and loud images of white
before your voicemail take their turn
to send me into nightmares consciously
because you know i'd never learn
you know i'd never see differently
sometimes i ask myself if im enough
being around with a thin laugh
i question myself why i laugh a lot
when it's all not me, dear god
i laugh a lot that my cheek hurts
and you never do
it makes me feel bad that you never do
it leaves me wondering if you
think im not your taste
you have always been the moon
and i can't argue so i'll be the sun
because i realized it's hard for you to say my name
but i can repeat your name like a mantra each time
you are the talisman that keeps me safe
throughout the dark of night
i was praying of being able to put my hands
on your face
i was triggered by lonely rainy days euphoria that it scared me
it scared me too much
i find the blood rushing and veins breaking apart too much
i find your confused eyes too much
and the tracing on your palms so cold
and the scar on your elbow so beautiful
and i'd hold your hands tightly
when you remembers your dad's face
and call you on rainy days because the storm always reminds me of pieces of your old self
you were the reason my favourite songs end slower

so i spend hours on thinking
just how the aegen sea could be our homes
i pictured us lying in the seabed
screaming our last breaths away
but just me dying away
because the sad look on your face is noyade to me
they're killing, killing, killing me