5 am in merthyr: Poems

5 am in merthyr Mar 2018

I could have saved myself if I said no to you then,
Id rather **** myself ten times over than fall for you again,
And the fact I haven’t ,probably keeps u awake at night,
Hope it hurts u knowing I’m doing alright,
I wanna haunt you in your sleep,
Put my arms around you ,turn the sheets from white to red and wake you up as I bleed,
Rest my wounded body on your beautiful skin,
Make you see what it’s like to be dead within,
Watch as my blood and your tears form a stream,
Let it drip in your mouth so you have a taste of how bitter my life has become,
Let you face the consequences for what you’ve done,
Have you forgotten all the times i slept in the street,
and sacrificed my focus on useful knowledge,
Just so I could hold your hand on our way to college,
Amazed in your presence like I’ve never seen you before,
Your eyes, your hair would make me tremble to the core
And even though you’d smile less and less,
I would love you more and more ,
I don’t wanna forget you, I wanna remember you,
because if we end up crossing paths again one day,
I will know to walk away ,
And after five dreadful years you’ve hurt me to the point,
That every poem I write for you sounds like a suicide note.

instagram direct messages

5 am in merthyr May 2018

instagram direct messages

...as the night came
...he got tired of the silence
...so he started making noise to get some attention
...everyone around him was quiet
...but noone heard anything
...noone made any noise in return
...as his melody starts to fade in desperation
...a drum sound can be heard in the distance
...unknown but somehow familiar
...a more womanly type of sound
...completely different
...but still they complimented eachother perfectly
...as this all takes place
...the previously fading beat is now back on track
...and so is the one heard in the distance
...which is not so distant at all anymore
...it slowly gets closer
...and just before they meet
...he's overwhelmed by a burst of nothingness
...returning back to infinite silence

summer

5 am in merthyr Mar 2018

summer

In her bedroom with my head down,
Resting as the euphoria fades,
We feel an aura of guilt and regret lingering around,
As I look into her weary eyes,
Her expression seems broken,
I freeze on the spot,
Dreading the words yet to be spoken,

She asked me to keep it a secret,
So I never opened my mouth,
I believed her when she said things would get sorted out,
And for all it’s worth I still had doubt,
but I promised her I would not open my mouth,

But now I wish I did speak out,
not to confess anything,
but in a cry for help,
I should have broke that promise ,
when I walked out the door
she spent the summer leaving lipstick stains everywhere,
and all I was left with was blood stains on my floor.

— The End —