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It’s sad how happy I get about the thought of death
It’s been awhile since I was last here
I’ve been trying to live again and I have been
But not completely
I’m still empty
There’s still something missing
The love
The honesty
The trust
My soulmate
Her
She is gone
And a part of me is too.
She left with it in her heart
Even tho it’s hard for me
She should of had it and she deserves it.
She deserves dying with a bit of happiness and my whole heart full with unconditional love.
I’m still in love with her and always will be.
That part of my heart that’s missing can never be replaced and she’ll always have a part of me, the best part.
But like I said, she deserves it.
She deserved the world
But she was too good for it.
Now she’s in heaven and finally truly happy. But I know she’s a bit sad.
A bit sad because she’s always with me and she can see me happy and living but she can also see me crying and dying.
Very slowly but none the less.
Ever since I met her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. She’s spending the rest of her life with me and experiencing it through my eyes but I’m sorry the vision isn’t clear because it’s full of tears.
I’m trying but it’s hard
I know there’s a god
But he hasn’t done anything for me but tear me apart.
One day I’ll be able to see you again and look into those eyes that were my paradise.

And then and only then
I’ll finally be happy again.
17
17
I hate that number
I hate the age it represents
I hate the day it represents

17 reasons to **** myself
And they all either start with you or I .
The age I was when I lost my girlfriend and the day her memorial was.
Love is the feeling of looking into a set of eyes and never wanting to look away
Why are these memories fading??
Why are my arms shaking??
Why is my head creating these ****** up images of me dead??

Why do I want to die??
Why do I always cry??
Why do I always lie??

I'm falling apart Like a broken piece of art. There's no stop to this blistering fate that I created.
This body I've marked with scars around my heart. Were just to far apart.

I know my path, it ends with me dead and all the vultures fead.
Slit my throat and watch me choke
Choke on the pain
Choke on the sorrow
Oh I pray that there won’t be a tomorrow
Put me in a coffin
So I can lay next to you
One last time
Until the end of time
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