are you happy, genuinely happy I mean.
does that smile you put on your face
come from a good place
or is a front, a fascude you put on.
because you dont know what it is
you think of it as a symbol
instead of an emotion
a symbol that represents well being,
a new pair of shoes, fresh set of clothing
and other superficial meaningless things.
I dont blame you though, happiness itself isn't a cool look anymore. at least you're content with your misery.

After struggling to accept my insomina, I realised that there was no point in forcing my sleep and so I just laid there in dark staring at the ceiling awaiting, my sleep.
As the seconds go by I submerge deeper and deeper into my thoughts 
Kinda like meditation, with scatted emtions and memories
Like seeds on an open field.
This rapid thinking eventually lead to a feeling of reminiscence
Envying the feeling of having a clear mind, wanting to have some sort of control over sufficating thoughts and emotions which contribute to my ever rising anxiety. Missing the uncontrolable yet comfortbale feeling of drowsiness that indicates that my sleep is near 
After going through a sea of emotions, I tire myself out and hear muffled sounds of birds chirping and dogs barking, signs of a new day arriving.
And that's when I start to lose control, slowly but surely. My mind is now at ease and I am at peace with my demons, my movements became timid my heavy eyes were shut. And "finally"
I whispered. I fell asleep.

You feel a strong desire to let them know how you really feel. But you, yourself do not know how you feel.You're conflited, confused and tired
You're tired of the confusion and the conflict

You feel like you should let them know how you feel. but then again you owe it to no one, although they tend to portray their feelings through quotes, quotes that they seem to relate to

And you envy that feeling, just being to know how you feel. you wish you could do the same but because of your feelings and pride you wouldn't feel right knowing that the words aren't yours

You still remember the times when letting them know how you felt was your obligation but right now you feel that is not a necessity.

You first starting writing for yourself. Because you initially thought that it would help with your problems you even thought that it was "therapeutic" but now. You see things differently

You see it as way of asking for attention from people you don't talk to, you also think that it's sad, because you want them to ask whats wrong just to tell them that you're fine. You sad little boy

Hello poetry, I'm back.
I'm back to doing what I feel makes me
Maintain my sanity
with a bit more dignity
which is telling random people how I feel, through poetry
I'm putting my emotions and thoughts in sentences that contain pieces of me well basically

Thank you again for making me realise how strong I am,and for reminding me that I shouldn't rely on people for anything

Me being cold is because of you and it effects me heavily, both negatively and positively

You make me some how feel love and hate at the same time ,you ******* my confidence

And shatter my dreams like glass you made me feel less of myself you made me feel as though I am wrong

But you also made me wise you made me think you also made me strong you gave me this non-crap talking attitude
I don't even know whether to hate you or to love you anymore

But what I can do is thank you..