I want to fall asleep with you
tangled legs
and close enough
to only breathe each other

I want to wake up with you
sheets kicked
to the bottom of the bed
and nuzzling your heart

The doctor stood by her bedside
running his lanky fingers
over her dull brown hair
as she lay silently sleeping
wires monitoring her every breath

                                                                                                    "Poor girl,"
He whispered
                                                                                     "She's not psychotic,
                                                                                                She's broken"

Her fathers eyes pierced the doctor
puzzled with anger he almost screams

                                                                          "So what does that mean?!"

The doctor slowly looked up
her father cowered back
shrinking into his seat
as if he never moved

over the silent vibrations
and mechanical beeps
The doctor simply explained                                                                        

                                                              "The demons aren't destroying her,
                                                                                 she's destroying herself."

I crumble
Into insignificantly small pieces
And spill
Through the cracks of insanity
Insuppressible
Falling so slowly
It feels almost as if i'm floating
Dispersing
Once i reach the callous bottom

I was once surrounded
By brightness
Never acknowledging
The precedence it didn't receive
The light was always a given
A requirement for life
It was never anything
Extraordinary

Captured by crazy
I lay still in the dark
Watching beams of light
Flicker
Through the very cracks
That made everything
Vanish
After i fortuitously invaded

From this angle
They look almost like
A possibility of hope
A way to reclaim life
Infiltrating
The dark that suffocates me
The rays sweep over
Just long enough
For me to inhale

Every glimmer
Now imperative

6/21/13

I'm stuck at the bottom
Of a wishing well
Sitting criss-cross
I stare at the sky
looking forward
To the sun greeting me
Each morning
And the moon kissing me
Goodnight

People occasionally come by
Dropping loose change down the well
Never noticing my silent screams
Yet i hear all their deepest desires

Some pray for
Lost lovers
Wellness
Wealth

I wish i could plant the coins
Until they grew enough happiness
That no one would have to wish anymore
They would finally be satisfied

But since i can't
I've been thinking
Maybe
If i can collect enough coins

I can stack them
End over end
And climb to the top

I'll take as many as i can carry with me
In hope
I'll have enough to buy your heart





5/2/13

I wished you would fall in love with me
But instead i fell down the wishing well

The demons manifest inside my stomach
And sit on the bones of my ribcage
Stirring up trouble
With their piercing point tip ears
And crystal red eyes
They rip their long black
Razor sharp claws
Against my flesh
Trying to cause a ruccus not only inside
But now on the outside

They double in size every month
They get older and gain strength
They learn my weaknesses
And start making holes under my walls
I've built to keep them restrained

I won't know how to stop them
When they are stronger than me
And rip me to shreds
Only to eat my weary flesh