you know what i admire
trees, yeah that's right
******* stepped on and used
and cut down and burned
but hey i bet the trees
only whisper
good things of us.

so you aren't my ideal boy
but somehow
the thoughts of you
steeped into my mind
like the tea i drink
late at night while talking to you
and somehow your smile
that vaguely resembles a fish
makes me smile at the very thought
you tell me about the girl you like
and although it isn't me
seeing your eyes sparkle
and your voice waver
and the uncertainty of
the way she looks at you
breaks my heart.

thinking of you
brings a sort of
sickness in my stomach
but do not fret,
i like you
maybe it's just that
i'm disgusted with myself

Never would I have thought
I'd come to dread
The many choices I have

How rude of me
To feel claustrophobic
Feeling run over
By the crossroads

I'm sorry for being
A privileged girl
In a first world country

Sorry for dreading my choices
In a world
Where I have the blessing
To have so many.

remember when we weren't?

remember when you drew me pictures
under the oak tree in the school yard?

remember when we kicked our feet so high
in hopes of beating each other in swinging contests?

remember when you gave me blossoms
from the boughs of your family's magnolia tree?

remember when our brothers were best friends
and we were partners in crime?

remember when you sat in the peanut-free table
and i followed because we would be together forever?

well i remember the day you told me you were moving
and forever barely lasted a month.

insensitive *****
self depricating
pile of trash
oblivious to the
feelings of others
what the **** is wrong with you?

wow
what an *******
what a jerkwad
what a *******
what a conceited,
selfish, self sacrifical
*******.

what makes you think
that you're stronger
than the rest of us?

what makes you think you can carry
this burden meant for others
and not break?

what makes you think you're not
loved like the rest of us?

what ****** you up so hard in the head
that made you believe that
you're not important?

why are you so quick
so willing
to jump in front of a moving train
if it meant saving another's life?

aren't you only 15?
why are you so tired of living?