i don’t think you understand what it’s like to feel like you’re lower than the grave six feet under that you wish you were in. i don’t think you understand what it feels like to wish that you carried the burden of a thousand people because they don’t deserve it, but you do. i don’t think you understand that everyday you wish you weren’t alive but yet you still live for the ones you love, because let’s be honest, if you were living for yourself, you would have been dead years ago. but hey, maybe you do understand. because this is adolescent angst and maybe, just maybe, you’ll live through it and see that it does get better.

oh dear what a mess we've made of ourselves
eclipsed minds skirting around each other
hoping to never cross paths
our darkest sides never to be revealed
i never meant for it to be like this you know,
you must believe it
crescent moon eyes smiling
to mask our strangled yearns
nebulae of thoughts from galaxies
with supernovas too strong
and black holes that consume us
both of us walking vacuums
void of emotion, void of contact
our planets revolving in different ellipses
and our constellations,
merely stars that will never connect
the universe expands
and how tragic it is that we just grow
farther and farther apart.

this boy,
he saw her pastel heart
in the petals of the peonies.

he saw their love
in the blossoming
buds of a magnolia tree.

he was reminded
of her floral scent
in his mom's gardenia patches.

he saw her untamed hair
in the wildflower patches
on the walks home from school.

but darling,
he was just painting flowers
for a girl who
would never love him

and that's okay,
because flowers wither
and so did his love.

pathos

it's a sort of
Petrarchan love
loving within an arms distance
don't get to close to him
he'll see your flushed cheeks
and inevitable smile
and think you're
absolutely pathetic.

ethos

the way you stumble over
your words and
all eloquence
shatters against the wall
as you fall hard for
the smile that reaches
his eyes and your heart
coursing through your veins.

logos

of course
it's not love
you idiot
you're too young for love
and it all ends
in heartbreak anyway.

i was hoping that
the next time I woke
i would be graced
with the presence of your body next to mine.

to be shielded
from the harsh clutches
of loneliness and desperation
that only you can counteract.

hey,
remember when i stayed up all night
thinking about all the possibilities
of you and me?

well now i knock out before the clock strikes 12
because i'm done chasing after you,
i've given up.

and there's a certain kind
of emptiness that comes with it
that only the bliss of unconsciousness
can numb.

sometimes
my heart swells
but lately
it's from
the thought
of you and i
bundled up
with your lips
pressed
against my forehead.