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13 Jun 2013
She was my only friend
She is me.

There were times enough when I spoke to air
Consoling her; musing me.
A quiet room lets you think quite clearly
Stalking lust's avenues whimpering in debauchery
I'd search for a trait I like to see
Of arms that grasp to never let go,
Of presence enough to bait that inner glow
I hunger for dominance but submit easily,
Eyes transfixed in sheer ecstasy.

I dream at night the most perfect dreams,
starring him, and me.
A court so crooked it sickens me
Strangely,
I cannot get enough of that scene
I am only a 8336
If it were obscene I would find it so
But I think of love, and hurt no more.

I glare at her glass prison
demanding answers.

I cower and bleed
I make a racket so he will notice me
Be with me, punish me
Hit me.
And it feels even better at its worst
To wish he would **** me?
The consoling air screams
I try to hold her turbulent heart
But, with my lust, I will not part
With every tear of desire lost,
The fire burns hotter through searing frost

So I question the reflection
Who only hates what she sees
Waiting up at night to see him come home,
I always hope he'd stop by to say hello
He doesn't anymore.
If he was always mine,
How wonderful would that be!
I **** to be reminded of him
To imagine the finer details
And slake this wicked lechery
Until I'm close to screaming
"**** me 32339, **** me!"
qwerty keypad phones wont decipher this. the alphanumeric keypads are required.
or google.
if you got problems reading this don't bite me.
its only my brain.
13 May 2013
resting upon my crest
a shallow hopeless soul
with shame that resonates
with pain I call my own
no man would understand
no love could ever hold

falling to pieces fast
this shattered empty hole
have dreams that gone awry
shed skin for tears of gold
this heart is worthless now
in bloom and yet so old

through pictures I relate
nostalgia creeping in
reliving countless pasts
denying endless sins
true self is holy now
you are a fruitless whim

the longest hours pass
this mind is empty still
the gremlins come alive
so havoc shall begin
till I be noticed again
vanity can’t seep in
Jan 11, 2012
13 May 2013
I am a waste of life
life is wasted on me
they called me friend
yet I would see them bend
break their rules and heads
for someone who wets the bed
in the midst of chaos I lose their grip
this hand from left excuses me a slip
oh sweet pain! you return at last

I like to bleed
the sear of a wound
dripping crimson ink
lightens the burden
absolves my guilt
or so I feel it drain
my sins silently, along with memories
under showers where no one will see
I lie still, remembering why
it makes perfect sense in the moment
the incision will be subtle, but deep
enough to hurt and spill from

I will disguise my face
so no one can know
the obvious truth that lurks
beneath this skin of glee
I should have been accustomed
to losing what I love and care about
even if they mean nothing, I'd still want them around
It's harder than it looks to let go
wound around my fingers, the strings, cutting into them
and I pull, I still pull, till the bleeding is a norm
but eventually they'll take my fingers along
and I will fall, not from pride, or high
but gall, against myself
into pity and apathy
sneakily creeping through the silences
I'll look for resolve in darker things
and wither in the light of regret
until the next string breaks
and the cycle begins again.
3 of my friends have broken all relations with me in the past 15 hours. one of which i was in love with. this SO had to come out.
13 May 2013
Hopelessly dependent on your heads and hands
were the pieces of me strewn on your platters
spinning wildly, correcting, dissecting my faces
praying for movement of the allegro, sans.

{An insidious little fox with her naughty tail
came to wrap around my being and close
never you mind what transpired next,
a shattering soul was no longer frail.}


But back and forth the fugue swings
never fulfilling the adagio's haste
the remnants of me are long since lost
scrambling for nothing, my madness sings.

Now I am left with no memory or past
now there's naught to look forward to
now I can die a regretful death
now the scherzo, can take flight, at last.

No tears shall fill this olive grove
the sorrows of a few grace its arches
the final movement is now at hand
slump, lively, into the irony of the allegro.
i've lost my HDD. years of my life just erased in an instant. all my poetry, books, music, photos, movies, softwares, everything gone.
13 May 2013
alcohol tears away at the soul
we’re bound to its discrepancies
but alas! we are materialistic creatures
if not, then we are simply animals.
I'm drunk.
13 May 2013
Impulses that thrash
in the chambers of red
have trembled in fear
of what you have said
you reign over me
with those crimson lips
that slender seduction
that drips from your legs
upon my withering self
dominating my senses
you've caged my soul
your attraction belies
about what you desire
knowing you too well
I'll still sear in the fire
your nails drill into my spine
with lust and cruelty so kind
so humble, so sweet i beg
for you to devour me
leave not a morsel behind
I'm lost in your hair
slipping from your back
releasing your garments
my tongue will caress
a slave to your touch
held in your bust
this is how much I love you
your skin be stitched to mine.
13 May 2013
Like a pin cushion I wait for the next edge to serrate,
it's been months since I've felt such hate
The metal will not yield
It refuses to bend and spill; lashing obscenely, obstinately adamant
The screws which drive this hastened race have failed to open
And the cold is ever vigilant, lurking in the sinuses of apathy

Forlorn attempts to reconciliate have piled consistently
And further ones will also fail inevitably
The need for a past is much greater than the search for a future
Knowing what has been matters more than what will come
For dying knowing what could have been is easier,
than to die not knowing what was.
Having bad days... hence bad poetry. this is my latest work... as opposed to all my other posted poems. 13th may '13
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