CONFESSION
( Bijoylakshmi Das)
Oh my beautiful childhood of the past!
When I failed to scale your amazing Vast;
It was a dream of my playful fancy -
To be nearest to every *** bit of Infinity's Act.
It was since when I used to play with dust and clay,
I was enraptured by Creation:s cryptic play -
In sky and earth and in every gift of Nature's surprise
Of the Unknown that sat within but longed to rise;
Though I was shocked to see endless death and ailment's horror
Still found people merged in futile pleasure,
The sordid fact I could no more endure!
So, I made my kinship with the invisible Kin,
Who lives deep witbin
Beyond the reach of most human heart.
He lives and gets manifest -
In each and every being
Living or non-living.
I fell in love with Him -
In my blooming teen !
It was my first love still afresh,
Often haunts me -
In lonely hours of night
And its invisible dark!
The One Truth stark!
I was aware of my Soul
In its unique union with Supreme :
My sole Companion.
I was seeking the Wisdom's Sun -
Deep within.
I was forsaken by comrades around me.
I was awake in Bliss.
Still I dream of those sweetest days
Which now I do amiss.
It was then with golden wings
I used to soar -
In untrod heaven
Alien to mortal dweller;
My love-lorn days with my Sweetheart
Lots of despair still hope was alive in the new vernal Birth,
To live with my teen's Dearest -
In the inmost recess of a surrealist Vast!
Even though I was torn apart.
I was pulled by the mortal mire
I was burnt by the loathsome fire-
Of dread and destruction
Of the Daemonic act-
Went on ceaseless
Dragged me down to the earth.
I remember blissful hours of my past old days -
I used to roam wild and free -
In Soul's freedom
In Absolute:s Kingdom.
Only my Soulmate:
As the eternal Companion!
Pain and suffering I cradle in me being,
With adoration and willingness
To merge deep within -
And rest forever In the most joyous
living.
The joy of love maddens me
And its immaculate Art!
The sweetness surpasses death
Beyond body and mind
The most unique of its kind.
The Immortal sits on the immortal Vast,
On the deathless summit
Where Time loses its significance,
Space fails to recognise semblance.
Such is the elixir that drops upon the earth,
Incessant, humble in humility
In ever nascent nuance!
Desires and cravings of mortal mind
Make man away from Soul's awakening,
Let me be not an indivisible part ;
Let these never kindle within me,
I am now forever being wed to Him.
I adore the new world enlightened,
The world adores me too,
Only because of Him!
I do no more inherit the animal mind
With frail passions and words unkind.
Now I soar the highest in azure Vast,
Never to fall apart,
I made Supreme my Love:
SHIVA, the all-pervading -
My Sweetheart of the childhood past
Of pure innocence.
(Bijoylakshmi Das Haridwar. 07.06.2019)