nicole smith

nicole smith Dec 2013

its been a while since i have written a poem. its been a while since i have time to think. and i have learned to handle my broken heart and it is healing. and i am a lot happier now. i can sleep. i can rest and it feels very nice. and i have a smile on my face and it is Christmas time and the thought of this time of year makes my heart as warm as the sun shining on me as i live this life in florida. i miss this life. writing poems everyday and revising them so they can become more of what i might be feeling in this crazy heart. its in the middle of the night and i cant think of words other than these. and as simple as they may be, that is exactly how i am feeling at the moment.

nicole smith Aug 2013

do you ever

do you ever feel like you are so close to someone, and they just blow you off. you feel some sort of real attachment to them, because they have been there for you through everything; the ups and downs. i think it just hurts a lot. and i know it isnt something to cry about, but right now i just feel so incredibly hurt. and i dont even know how to explain it, because here i am trying to figure out why i wasnt good enough for them to stay. and there are many possibilities, but to think that the person you told everything to, just left because of your insecurities and flaws.

venting; will delete later

nicole smith Jul 2013

dear katie,

i just want you know
that you are beautiful
and i love you
more than the sun
could ever love the moon.

i know these are just a few
fragile words,
but you deserve to hear them.
i know we go through
times of obscureness
and insecurities,
and times when it feels
like we are
d
  r
o
  w
n
  i
n
   g.
but please,
do not let these words escape from
your beautiful mind:
that you are strong, delightful, and lovely
as could be;
for it hurts me to see
you lose that very thought.

thank you for sharing such beautiful
(both of happiness and of heartache)
memories with me.
i know there will come a time
when we must leave each other
to achieve and meet our dreams,
but please don't forget me,
because i promise
to keep you in my heart
until the end of time.
thank you,
for inspiring me
and sharing such
unforgettable moments with me.
love,
me.

for my beautiful best friend.

nicole smith Jul 2013

thank you.

i think it is beautiful
that poets,
from all over,
are able to gather here
to share what we
have a passion for.
and there are writers,
who would rather
write about the bright side
than the darkness,
and there are others
who are comfortable doing
the opposite.

to create something lovely,
we write by ourselves,
but we are also writing
together.
and i am not sure if
this is as sincere
as i would like for it to be,
but i want to say thank you
for writing with me.

nicole smith Jul 2013

confidence vs. insecurity

"from the minute
i knew i loved you,
i was jealous of
the fact that you are
so confident.
and i don't blame you,
because you have
every reason,
to believe in yourself."

and he replied,
"and from the moment
i knew i loved you,
i was so confused
to why you
were completely
and utterly
insecure,
and i do blame you,
because you have
no reason
not to
believe in yourself."

I wrote this poem a couple years ago, and even then, I didn't quite feel anything. Years after it was written, I met a boy who made me understand the writing I initially didn't get in the first place. I finally found beauty in my writing because of the love I found in someone else. Thank you. You mean the world to me.

nicole smith Jul 2013

actors and actresses

i think its funny
when those who
get the largest parts
in plays,
only can act on stage.

its amazing
how i am surrounded
by so many actors.
the ones who can put
on a smile,
but are dying on the inside.

and the ones who
seem like the kindest
of those around me,
but end up sending
sending hurtful letters
to those who are dying
on the inside.

and then there are mothers
and fathers,
who seem to be giving
their children
perfect lives,
but when no eyes seem
to be watching,
they give them bruises
and say harsh things.
which causes the children
to send those letters,
which cause other children
to feel like
they are dying inside.

it just makes me wonder
why,
don't these hidden actors
ever audition
for the biggest parts,
when they hide,
the biggest lies.

nicole smith Jul 2013

birthday candles and shooting stars

i have already
blown out the
birthday candles,
closed my eyes on
11:11
and whispered upon
shooting stars.

the dandelions
in my garden
are now gone
and for some
strange reason,
so are all the
four-leaf clovers.
and in the fountain,
you will find
all my change.

and i am
extremely confused
to why we
haven't both
fallen in love.
now not only are the
wishbones
broken,
but so
am
**i.