nicole smith

nicole smith Jun 2015

You were getting too close for me to handle.
You understood the darkest parts of my mind.
Resulting in me breaking yours first.
Before you'd have the chance to break mine.

I shouldn't have let you in.
You knew more about me than I did myself.
It was just an invitation for additional pain.
To end up crying, screaming for help.

Don't ask me questions about why
I have the tendency to think the way I do.
But if you were in desperate need of an answer,
then my response would most definitely be you.

You caused this constant fear of pain.
Don't tell me things will be alright.
There isn't a thing that will make forget
About a darkness I don't have the strength to fight.

I wasn't surprised when you stuck around for the good days,
Leaving the second you had seen me at my worst.
That's why before you had the chance to break my heart.
I knew I'd have to break yours first.

nicole smith May 2015

I can't escape you. Part II.

Loving you was like pointing a loaded gun to your head, just to find that once you've pulled the trigger, all the bullets suddenly vanish.

nicole smith May 2015

I'm not what you're missing

Why do you say you miss me?
There's no need to tell lies.
Why do you say you miss me?
When I won't give us another try.

Why do you say you miss me?
Now that you can't see me everyday.
Why do you say you miss me?
While you give other kisses away.

Why do you say you miss me?
Only talking to me over the phone.
Please don't say you miss me
when what you miss is not being alone.

nicole smith May 2015

It isn't you

It isn't you that's making me cry.
It's the song I'm listening to.
It isn't you that's making think.
Because (I) never did love you.

It isn't you that broke my heart.
It's the (want) for you to be here.
It isn't you that keeps me awake
It's me swallowing down my fears.

It isn't you that makes my heart beat
(It)'s the thrill of being adored.
It isn't you that makes me tremble.
It's the thought of being ignored.

It isn't you that makes me write.
It's (to) the feeling you now control.
It isn't you that makes me ache.
It's the happiness that you stole.

It isn't you that makes me stress
It's the work that still has to (be) done.
It isn't you that makes me miserable.
It's the knowing that you aren't the one.

It isn't you, It isn't you.
You weren't the one that was made for me.
It isn't you, won't ever be (you).
No matter how much I wanted it to be.

Another poem you'll never see.

nicole smith May 2015

I can't escape you. Part I.

Loving you was like jumping off the stool to hang yourself, just to find that once both feet are in the air, the rope has disappeared.

suicide paradox

nicole smith May 2015

13 word story

You were never good for me, but I was even worse for you.

nicole smith May 2015

Fall in Love with Me

you can try to break my heart
but what damage does that do?
if you attempt to weaken me,
I can swear I never loved you.

try to play this game
I'll pretend to fall in love
I can break your heart.
**as if winning's not enough.

Oh, don't go breaking my heart