I try to take my turn but no one's there to hold my beer
I wonder why I really care
I know it's never gonna matter
I would bet money I don't have on the fact it'll never get better
So I never concern myself with later
After the first couple pages flipped through a calendar
You'll never find me there
Most I know will cheer
Saying, "I told you so dear"
Now everyone's a future seer
Go figure

©2024

I deleted the phone number
Along with every picture
All the things bought together
Every single reminder
And while erasing memories never gets easier
I forget to remember
That it's so much harder
To open up to anyone, ever again
But thankfully it isn't never

©2024

Sometimes it's as simple as squeezing one thought into one quotation
Sometimes it's too wordy to reach that satisfaction following an end
Sometimes it's simple but ya can't find the words while missing all the signs
Sometimes it's complicated but can be illustrated in just a few lines
Sometimes you can't figure out how to coax it out
Sometimes there's no stopping it from getting out and wandering about

©2024

My first mistake;
Going to Icarus to learn how to fly
In essence shrinking the distance to a wrap of pine
Resting eternal, days fly by
But never again will a day go by
Where I'll see another dark cloud looming in my sky
Where I'm headed there is no sky

©2024

This entire empire of dirt and manure is about to expire
I'm not gonna lie, between you and I, I wish I was a lier
My mind though is compulsive when lighting it's pants on fire
Nose long as a telephone wire, front and center like a town crier
And the shiit that I get from myself and the public stacks higher and higher
I know exactly what's about to transpire
Yet I always make it worse, never better
Like a water geyser to a grease fire
I'll forever be a fumblin', bumblin' reality denier
Faced with a situation that can only be described as dire
When you've only ever been able to hire a blind get-a-way driver
There's no chance of escaping this hell, life organically becoming satire

©2024

If you care promise to never let me know
Never turn around, never let it show
Don't point out the stretch that turned friend to foe
It's far too late to pray it ain't so
But nothing was nurtured, allowing nothing to grow
So, if you want to stay please, for me, tell yourself no
And just go

©2024

How long should my sadness last?
When will it come to an end?
Will it ever stop? For a split second, I might feel happiness touching my heart, but then waves of grief washes over me.
Still, for what length of time should I cover the bridges of my eyes to hide the tears that are starting to well up?
Still, how long should I continue to act as I'm alive  though I'm dead?
when will the world realize that i was dead inside a long time ago...

I'll be better here sometime right before never,
I swear
Not trying to be clever
I'm being sincere
Just can't assign a specific timeline to recover
I've tried it,
Found it only helped set up the next failure
The one that's already lurking around each and every corner
I stand defiant, against my own self preservation order,
Almost daring it to leap from the darkness a couple corners sooner
I'm not trying to be negative either
Life is an iffy endeavor
But I don't not get it,
I can see it from the view of the average observer
It's gotta look like a recipe for disaster
But it's better than what I see in the mirror
Something I won't need a memory to remember
Branding me with this, scared flesh on each wrist,
A gut wrenching reminder
The kind that can only linger forever
Stalking me from the edge of what I'll be able to remember
But it'll get better...
...they swear

©2024

I scoff in embarrassment
At myself
And shrug a cold shoulder
As emotions threaten to boil over
Jealous of a fictional character
When one hears from the other
That they'll be friends forever
Forever
Has never
Been a player
In my endeavor

©2024