my healing mimics my raspberry bush
a seed in the beginning the wind could’ve took
there were sunny days, flooding rains
frozen glazes that took months to melt away
still in summer the saturated berries cling to their green roof
fruits of my labour, i can never return to that pain that little boy knew
strengthened, concentrated
bleed all the frustration, swaying to the wind’s tune
my healing mimics my raspberry bush

there's something about silence that just reminds me of you
and since i can't run away from it, i can't run from you.
so may someone inform me as to what i can do?
i'm over these shrieks in the void that ring true
so blue.
quiet nights.

I have no memory of breath
till we kissed
now each breath recalled
spoke of you

each moment infused
with airs of your inclination
your unfolding sigh
filled me

kiss me
once more

your lips on mine
breathe into me
my last breath
must be yours

till I return it

I used to be grateful for many things but not for everything.
I was self taught to take every lost I had on the chin.
Before there was an “all ten.”
“Many men.”
I had dark days, felt like I wouldn’t win again.

Learned blessings and lessons, I bought it all in.
Investing on myself so I’m not giving in.
Told my daddy we gon eat good again.
After I return again,
I might have to sin.

So I cry that I’m grateful for everything.
Cry for my block because we never got one ring.
I stayed in the trap but in my head still heaven sings.

So I’ll remain grateful.

Thank God that my plate’s full.

My past life distasteful.

Running fast like sonic, not understanding getting rings.
God showed me I can come from many things.
He pulled me up said, I can’t go for anything.

Even though my plate’s full, I stopped complaining because I’m grateful.
Even though my plate’s full, I realized it’s everything that I’ve prayed for.

Be careful what you wish for.

Even when I return, I’m grateful.

Died once, I’m grateful.

Past life, distasteful.

Til I return,
I’m grateful.

It’s elko noice to be back in the sprawling, claustrophobic infinity of college.

I love the energy, the hubbub, the moving-ins, the lines for everything and the freshmen’s hovering parents. We loiter, my roommates and I, sipping expensive, store-bought coffee, around the dorms, the bookstores, and shops, soaking up the frenzy.

A mom sweetly says to her overwhelmed son, “Relax,” passing-off his stress, “enjoy this, engage those five senses and take it all in.” I smiled to myself - there are at least 21 senses, like equilibrioception (balance), thermoception (for heat/cold) and nociception (pain) - just to name three. I thought, “Welcome to college kid.”

The first weeks of freshie life can be lonely - if you’re single. You search for someone to like - it can be very arbitrary and looks based. Last year, around campus, all you could see was the tops of people's faces. When everyone’s masked, eyebrows say a lot, so if you had beautiful eyebrows that went a long way - of course, hair was important too.

There’s an eyebrow studio, down below the green, where students could, as the epitome of style, get their eyebrows threaded hoping they’d look more interesting, and more bonkable. That place was booming.

Masking’s still a thing for fall ‘22 - in classrooms, instructional spaces, and high-density events - at least at first, until they see the spread - but there’s way less isolation. This semester there are exciting, new questions for potential ‘love’ interests to answer, like - “Have you ever dated any simians (monkeys)?