i came across a tutorial on propagating roses
my windowsill is full of propagated succulents
but i had never realized it applied here too

you once mentioned your dad was proud of his garden

on your twentieth birthday, i brought a bouquet for your parents
your mom asked me what type of roses they were
she rather liked how they smelled

we had a stack of empty yogurt pots on the counter
so i snipped a rose hip, planted and honey dipped
i wasnt sure if that family party was a recurring event
but i was deeply lost to your breath
absorbed in delicately moderated intent

we came to pick you up for your twenty first birthday
your mom asked us what kind of jello we would like in our shots
but you still had yet to invite us

the weekend-of i asked if your dad liked to garden
i asked if your parents would like a yogurt-potted rose
i asked if you would like a sapling
he was hesitant to accept, leaning towards no
its already a lot to keep up with what there is
though it was never specified which
and i think im falling out of love

but i wonder if i will ever tell you about the part
of how long that rose was on my patio, and through winter, inside
how from the very start
it was for them for you for this the future
it is hard to go, but i think i have become the executed suitor
as it would seem i am incapable of compromise

and i wonder if i will ever tell you about my heart
of how lately ive been thinking
that i do not really hope i will survive
sinking into tears alive
til love do us part

step one
to fall in love is to be expounded deep beneath the sea floor
imagine yourself with the entire ocean waiting patiently behind eyes
did you know that the average window is three thirty seconds of an inch
and the water at the bottom of the sea has a pressure over one thousand times that of the standard atmosphere
windows to the soul, you never stood a chance

step two
elucidated complicated and delicate
as if there was ever the option, but your mind will always romantacise, rationalize, projecting in masculinized manners
you think that you're so important, so perfect, so pliable, but truly you are simply periodic
this is when you start to find it harder to look past the inconsistencies, the unpuncuality, the irresponsiblitiy
throwing woodchips and delivering food for two
you can no longer pass this off as temporary

step three
the first person to ever say that they would like the opportunity to try
the first person to -
the first person to -
i certainly love you

step four
this isnt really about letting go is it
but there is the feeling welling up inside
as if about to filter into something different
something duller dimmer translucent thinner
will i ever would i wither
could i weather let it simmer -

how do you hold on to a burning pan without handles
when you have worked many years
when you have found a golden hour between two palms
when there is nothing you want more

beaten down by sand in glass
i wonder if i will be okay when it finally does pass

i cannot live on with it in my reach
i cannot survive letting it slip
yet neither could i ever grasp it ever keep it

step four
breathe in

step five
you will never be the same again
but you will be alive

ever closer to deciding
so simply said
it feels dividing
i want to be in love with you forever
but i want forever to be over
i could never kiss you goodbye
so i will never say hello
i never realized guilt could be a personality
but thats just all thats left of me
to hold your hand would be to jump into the sun
i hope you know that i will always remember you fondly
please look away while i mourn
or perhaps it wont particularly matter
perhaps i will be some place so far beyond the earths curvature -
out of sight out of mind so they say
and i will never be the same

will you let me down easy
lower the webbing so gently
dont let me hold on to the putlogs so tightly
soften my grip on the entry
lay me to rest for a century
back fill my memories with petals
write on the stone with intention
eventually visit to tell me youre ready to witness acension
breathe in my lungs with devotion
release me completely without breaking motion
allow me to meet you in fourteen years and let my six feet of tears bring flowers to the fields

and will you let me down easy

will you touch my cheek without burning
and settle my sleepless turning
will you let me down in speaking
will you let me down so easy

red sun will i ever
will it will it forever
emblazoned within retinas
perpetually imprinted on every image seen
every breath taken
though not to be left forsaken
will it will it
inevitably loved in time unbounded
to drown in divinity expounded
something lasting profoundly undoubtedly will it will it
will it ever leave my mind

to falter in stance once lost never lasts bent left enigmatic in an altered trance perhaps yet bought to a felt knot blotted ink tanking in the evening breeze precariously placed at a glance on the brink of gentle yet voracious helplessly encase us to the bone of waking stasis to the core of breaking faces dropped upon a metal plate with ease in case it is abrasive intentionally late and uncontrollably spiraling into hate

one shift
two shift
red shift
blue shift

this wave has a certain tone
this wave has an antinode

some waves add to make another
some waves shorten in the summer

here's a wave that's really fast
this wave has really got to blast

but how to find velocity
find the length and take that lambda
multiplied by frequency

though when the amplitude is maxxed
a level you can't hear perhaps
the noise it makes is just the worst
so please
why dont you turn that down
that awful noise, it really hertz