grounding doesn't work for me
naming a few things around can't help when nothing feels real to begin with

days pass by in seconds, i hate people as much as i love them
i wish i could just observe & yearn from a distance,
never interact or become vulnerable with people who i wrongfully trusted.

it brought me immense comfort thinking that i don't matter in the world.
that i don't effect the life of anybody.
i needed to tap into that fantasy to sink into the oblivion of sleep without regrets,
to ease my anxiety

i don't know if that's beautiful or sad

i am obsessed with dreams & make-believe, to the point that real life either seems unreal

or too real to the point it paralyzes you