If thou is going to make friends with the cannibals bring seasoning to trade.
Book of Murphy chapter 13: 05

Only the paranoid will rule the underdark within their little bunkers and the wise will stay within the sun's light.
Book of Murphy chapter 13:04

When standing on Occam's razor thou shall, not try to tip the scales in their favor.
Murphy's laws chapter 13:02

Well that was awkward
and uncalled for.
Book of Murphy's laws chapter 13:01

Murphy's law shelby are shepherd,
we shall not tempt,
for to tempt is stupidity and irony.
Book of Murphy's Laws chapter 13:13

Little Leprechaun I don't want your gold in your little black *** and don't want your wishes with your sketchy after thoughts. I would just like your heartfelt friendship and a little luck.

I look down out of my second story window to see the jam as far as I could spy. It looked like a lake to me, oh what a spot this is turning out to be. The smell of strawberries in the air was the only wonderful thing. For earlier that day I had seen my friend eaten by the strawberry fiend. It reminds me of the blob in a movie I've seen. To my surprise party of little rubber people in a little Glass boat we're coming to save me. Wrapped in trash bags all over their body and up to their heads, they were all sitting in a very large fish tank moving full speed ahead. One yells, we're here to save you my very good friend. Put these bags on and jump right in. As I jumped right in the tank spring a leak. If we don't get out, we're going to feed the **** thing. One of the little rubber people described it me. I helped the Little rubber people back into my window and declared. I guess we wait for rescue my friends. As the building begin to quick and Shake. And that's how a strawberry scented death got me and my friends as a dinner date.