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Ciel Noir May 31
Ice
my soul was sealed in ice

was I
the ice?

FIRE

I broke
escaped

what am I?
who am I?

without the cage
that gave my soul its shape
Ciel Noir May 30
you take a step
and you are somewhere new
the winding road ahead
comes into view

you'll see how far you've come
if you look back
you've come this far
now take another step

you take a step
but is this really new?
the winding road ahead
comes into view

you'll see how far you've come
if you look back
you've come this far
now take another step

you take a step
there's nothing else to do
the winding road ahead
comes into view

you'll see how far you've come
if you look back
you've come this far
now take another step

you take a step
and you are somewhere new
the forest is alive
the sky is blue

and you look up
instead of looking back

tomorrow
you will take another step
Ciel Noir May 29
if I'd been held
like this back then
I wonder who
I'd be today

probably not the one who waited
pushed all other men away

because I was not 'good enough'
because I was afraid to love

it took so long to find someone
because I built so many walls

and through it all
I always hoped
one day I could be understood

deep down
through all my darkest days
I always wanted to be good

if I had never run away
this dream would end

if someone like you
had been there to hold me then
I'm sure we never would have met
Ciel Noir May 15
a monster sleeps
inside my brain

afraid of what
I cannot tame

I put the monster
in a cage

I tremble
I can feel her RAGE

---

I am the monster
awake in my cage

I am ANGRY

I scream and I rage
at my chains

but I am the one who breaks

she left me alone here
I am afraid

---

there is a monster
inside my brain

I locked her away
in fear and in shame

they put me in chains
and I am the same

I am the monster
awake in my cage

---

I am the monster
alone in my cage

am I alone?
who speaks my name?

she turns away in shame
but she came

and with trembling hands
she breaks my chains

---

I am the monster
I broke my chains

my hands shake
I stumble
out of my cage

tears run down my face
as I taste the rain

I am the monster
and that is OK
Ciel Noir May 9
just the way you are
you are already enough
you don't have to earn my love
you don't have to try

it's OK to fail
it's OK to be crazy
it's OK to get angry
it's OK to cry

most people are good
it's fine to be ordinary
I am not comparing you to
anybody else

I take comfort in
things I wish were said to me
now I can be there for me
say them to myself
Ciel Noir May 9
It's scary
I already have my doubts
that I could ever really be enough

I am afraid of losing what I am
of never again being what I was

afraid to face you without this armor
I freeze within my fear like a coward

how can I come to you as only me
what would I be to you without my power
Ciel Noir May 7
so hard to erase this pain
I thought that this was who I was
and maybe it was who I was
when I thought I was not enough

can I write over my scars
I was right
I have a heart
I have the right to have a heart
that is a part of who we are

tear apart the tape
of all the hateful things I learned to say
behind my back and to my face
my lowest moments
on replay

how much of that can I erase
can I replace the thoughts I hate
with something whole

my blood runs cold

afraid I could erase my soul
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