You bought me metal sheets
bent in the shape of a heart.
after days of leaving me in the dark
wondering what I was going to eat

Sweet and bitter lumps I crush
between my hands
I eat my heart tonight
because maybe you’ll love me

You loved me enough to steal me
Under an unconditional facade
I forgave you every time
Hoping you’d hold me when I’m down.

But I will eat my heart gratefully
because you told me to
because that is all I can do
because that is all I am worth.

You can take nothing when it is left.
-Percy

My heart
My soul
My sight
My years
My dreams
My life

Take them away
For I have never had them.

Pick me apart
Choose from my pile
Of shattered hopes.

Whichever one that fits.

They don't seem to suit me anyways.

They never last.
-Percy

I am staying away
For your sake and mine
I fear that when you see me
And meet my gaze for the first time in a while.

You will see an empty hallowed shell of a moth that never made it.
Flying around my empty pupils behind my empty mind.
I don't want you to shake me looking for answers.
Peering through my eyelids hoping for something to be there.

In my restless unending dreams.
I find the person I used to be.
My warm embrace and desperation.
To love you as you have always deserved, unconditional.

As the months pass by I feel my heart beat slower.
I yearn for a simpler time when caring for people here was enough.
I want to ******* slap that smile off my face in my memories.
Actually believing that my love can make things last forever.

I do not feel love now.
The moths have eaten my heart
Like cloth.
I put my hand to my chest constantly to see if it will ever return again.

I am sorry I was so weak.
To let the moths eat me alive.
That I let the slurry of flies pick at my mind,
Leaving me rotten like I know I've always been.

You who deserve the best of me.
My warm embrace and love.
I am so sorry that I cannot be enough.
My heart has been torn to nothing but dust.

Where did it all go so wrong.
I desperately want to feel something.
Other than the painful pang that often comes.
The phantom pains of having no heart.

I feel so empty, I feel so hollow.
I feel unreal, I am scared of you.
Seeing me this way.
Seeing me be a hollow monster, putting on a face that I know you won't believe.

I can't feel anything.
And it's scaring me.
I don't want you to be scared of me.
I don't want you to watch the lies fly out of my mouth.

And what if those moths and the things that have eaten my insides.
What if you watch me morph into something that will make you sick?
I don't want you to see how ****** up I am.
How disgusting, how monstrous, how angry, how destructive I can truly be.

I am at the mercy of this growing emptiness
That I've hidden from you
That all the love I used to have would madly over.
I want you to see how I want to be, not this.

Anything but this.

Cherish me in your memories.
As someone who loves you because I do.
Who cares to chase you.
My unconditional words will always be and always have been real.

Right now only wretched dust comes out of my mouth, the moths pretend to be me.

I love you too much
To let you see
That the moths have eaten my mind
And my heart.

Like cloth.

-Percy

If I could choose to
I would not.
I would not forget you.

Even if it is bliss.

To be ignorant.
-Rain

Maybe I am undeserving
Or maybe I am incapable.
I am definitely capable.
But maybe I am not built.

For the pain and the loss.
For the remembering and the regret.
For the times I stay up
For the memories I cannot displace.

I am scared of not feeling.
I am scared of what I am feeling.
I am scared of being nothing
I am scared of being.

Why I am existing. Why I was made. Why I am here. Why am I loved. Why have I been abandoned. Why have I abandoned. Why am I hurt. Why was I betrayed. Why is it my fault. Why can't I be good. Why can't I complete my purpose. Why did you leave me. Why was I not good enough. Why did you make me. Why did you want me. Why did you ruin me. Why did I love. Why did I have to be incapable. Why was I not enough. Why are you expecting so much of me. Why don't I feel better. Why can't I stop. Why can't I be normal. Why do I have to feel. I don't want to feel. I don't want to feel. I don't want to feel. I don't want to feel. I don't want to feel. I DON'T WANT TO FEEL. I DON'T WANT TO FEEL. I DON'T WANT TO FEEL. I DONJSJSIDIFIRKFNTKRLRLFMFNJFKKLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL­LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLllLlAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJSJSKAKALAL­AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110011 01101111 01110010 01110010 01111001 00101100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110011 01101000 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110011 00100000 01100010 01100101 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100111 01110011 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01100110 01100001 01110101 01101100 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01110011 01101111 01110010 01110010 01111001 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100010 01100101 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100101 01101110 01101111 01110101 01100111 01101000 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110100 01100001 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101101 01110101 01100011 01101000 00100000 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100101 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100111 01110011 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01100110 01100001 01110101 01101100 01110100 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 01110011 00101110 00100000 01001001 01110100 00100111 01110011 00100000 01110100 01100001 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100101 01101110 01100100 00101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100101 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100110 01100101 00101110 00100000 01000010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101110 01100101 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110100 01110010 01111001 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110010 01100100 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100111 01101001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01110101 01110000 00100000 01101111 01101110 00100000 01101101 01111001 01110011 01100101 01101100 01100110 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01110011 01101111 01110010 01110010 01111001 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01100010 01100101 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110011 01100101 01101100 01100110 01101001 01110011 01101000 00101110 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110011 01101111 01110010

I am at your service.

It is my purpose.

To give what you need from me.

I Love You.

Always.

-Percy

A hollowed nest in a dessert.
Neon signs under a dark red sky.

Abandoned streets with no plaque.
A highway, the railings no longer intact.

Alleyways that never seem to end.
An empty shop that sells only pendants.

A trail of gravel lures me in
And the trees around me contort to every impossible shape.

A familiar path I've walked through many times.
Fading into an unfamiliar bright white.

The gravel twists and turns into smooth asphalt.
As a cold breeze pushes against my breathe.

The road buried under piles and mounds
Of white.

A familiar scent greets my body
I push through the ice flying through my sight.

A cabin buried in the snow.
I run and burst through the worn down door.

Disappointed with the empty state.
A *** of stew sitting in the fire place.

I sit in front of the embers until I feel human again.
Watching the storm through the frosted window.

I stand to sit on the crystallized porch.
Burying my head into my arms and chest.

I pray for the first time since I was 10.
Praying for something to hear me screaming.

I watched the stew and the fire freeze over instead.

And I stay stuck buried and cradling my head.

Until the heaps of snow bury me and this ******* cabin.

-Persephone