When you’re drunk I think of you
The blanket over your senses
The numbness you feel from head to toe
As your feet bump and slide together
You watch them, fighting separately for progress

You get embarrassed when I mention
Your attempts at communication
Something along the lines of
“ H love yov so ro so much”
It’s the thought that counts I suppose

I pretend I don’t count the hours
Or the scenarios in my head
Of all the places you could have been
All the things you could have done

I am a carefree lover

“I’ll be careful! I promise!” You stress
That bland lie
Leaves your tongue with the sweetest intentions
And I love you for your attempts at reassurance
“I know dear, you always are.”

And we smile together,  in our unintentional ignorance.

haha
**** yov.
you know it triggers me
and im not doing so well right now




so tempted to go
on one ice coffee a day right now

dontdothatdontdothatdontdothatdontdothatdontdothatdontdothat­dontdothatdontdothatdontdothatdontdothatdontdothatdontdothat

but­ i wanna.

As i stayed up in my bed,3am in d morning,love drunk and staggering
Eyes clear,brain ringing with butterflies in my belly
I remembered the hurts of the past
The moments i cried and my world was a waste

I loved her like my soul or shld i say soul mate?
We were happy together or so i thought
She rained on my head,called it
brain storming
She was d best tin i had,den she became my worst

Let me take u on a lil journey,call it going to america
And pls,pretend ure enjoying the ride,no worries,no cops on d road,no speed limits
By the time we wld be back,i hope ur head or atleast whats in it wld be clear
And all d pain of yesterday wld mean notin as u embrace the new day

Ever felt like yov've given all u av 2 give and it ain't enough?
Then through the hurt and the pain u realize uve neva had notin
Cos seriously a person who really wants u wants u 4 u,d flaws and scars included
And if u give ur love and time and it still ain't enough

Im sorry notin u eva give will be
So as a free advice frm me to u,pack ur **** and flee the hell frm hell
Cos really hell aint no place,its wats left after the heaven is gone
So for now its cool,u dnt knw wat to do
I know one day even if nt now,u gonna look at urself and know what next.

Yov've lost my respect
I would have
Died for you
And come back

I would have
Walked trough hell
Living and buried
To see your light again

I wasn't scared
Of the universe
I was shouting
From the top of my lungs

But you chose fear
Over me
My throat hurts now
And you left your lips covered

i remember her for the good memories
i remember you for the bad ones
she tried to save me
you drowned me
she was everything
you will never be