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"welled" poems
you don't understand at all do you not truly you think I'm a liar that I still hold the knife that stabbed you in the back [and in the heart] kinda speechless that you feel that way think that way believe it untrustworthy? misleading? false emotions? can you not read? here let me try again maybe I can make it like braille feel the words it's like when the clouds stormy eyes welled up and let fall the tears of weekend rain soggy, we laughed along with the thunder and under our waterfall we let the windows fog tell me I lied then or picture if you will standing by the tree I always parked by it was a starry night, but we didn't see it we were too focused on our faces except why is it I was the only one drowning in the sadness that overtook my eyes shaking with each strained, choppy breath clutching that gray shirt like a life jacket do you think that was all for show? haven't you looked at my collection of black and white silly letters scribbled down as fast as possible trying as hard as I can to leave it all on the paper but it's as if each word I write is a tattoo slowly invading every part of my skin it's sinking in, it's staining everything do you think this agony I speak of is fake? if so if I am that liar with the knife who led you astray and ******* you over" let you down, kicked you around if you can't seem to open your eyes and notice just how much I love you just how much I always have then you don't deserve it ill run miles for you when I know I only have the strength for one but don't you dare watch me run if you don't even grasp that I stabbed myself in the back led myself astray you have a right to hate the wound but if you can't see what I feel one day I will learn that I have to let go and I will then all these silly letters all for you well. go ahead and throw them away on that day they will carry no life anymore
0
Nov 13, 2011
Nov 13, 2011 at 6:59 PM UTC
run your fingers over the letters
you don't understand at all do you not truly you think I'm a liar that I still hold the knife that stabbed you in the back [and in the heart] kinda speechless that you feel that way think that way believe it untrustworthy? misleading? false emotions? can you not read? here let me try again maybe I can make it like braille feel the words it's like when the clouds stormy eyes welled up and let fall the tears of weekend rain soggy, we laughed along with the thunder and under our waterfall we let the windows fog tell me I lied then or picture if you will standing by the tree I always parked by it was a starry night, but we didn't see it we were too focused on our faces except why is it I was the only one drowning in the sadness that overtook my eyes shaking with each strained, choppy breath clutching that gray shirt like a life jacket do you think that was all for show? haven't you looked at my collection of black and white silly letters scribbled down as fast as possible trying as hard as I can to leave it all on the paper but it's as if each word I write is a tattoo slowly invading every part of my skin it's sinking in, it's staining everything do you think this agony I speak of is fake? if so if I am that liar with the knife who led you astray and ******* you over" let you down, kicked you around if you can't seem to open your eyes and notice just how much I love you just how much I always have then you don't deserve it ill run miles for you when I know I only have the strength for one but don't you dare watch me run if you don't even grasp that I stabbed myself in the back led myself astray you have a right to hate the wound but if you can't see what I feel one day I will learn that I have to let go and I will then all these silly letters all for you well. go ahead and throw them away on that day they will carry no life anymore
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81
Always her. She's say what she doesn't do. She do what she doesn't say. She kills other's words, with words she doesn't mean. I'm ****** My anger welled up within, But I cannot say it out. I will one day, just wait. I'm going to say it out to your face and make you know that you're wrong.
0
Apr 11, 2015
Apr 11, 2015 at 8:14 AM UTC
Anger
The doctor tells me my results. Three injuries in one. I would need surgery. Tears welled in my eyes. I could no longer play the sports I loved. Was this the end? My ACL decided athletics had taken it's toll, and my menisci was right along with it. The bruised bone was a bonus though. Was this the end? Could I emotionally handle the recovery? The recovery of heartbreak from simple test results The recovery from physical damage The recovery of surgery that joined my main muscles back together again The recovery of a new muscle, foreign to me Will I ever be fully recovered?
0
Jun 17, 2014
Jun 17, 2014 at 12:32 AM UTC
Emotional Recovery
"Remember in summer when we used to listen to the smiths and make out in that little hidden park?" He said with a little smirk. "Tragically, yes." She didn't even look at him. She didn't laugh with him. She didn't smirk back. She looked ahead, stared at the open road, like it was a possible escape plan. "I miss you." He didn't think. Its funny, the things you regret immediately, the things you regret as they're happening. "No, you don't." The same monotone voice. "Why cant we get over this?" Hes not angry, or pleading, or sad. Hes just asking. He doesn't expect an answer. "Because I hate you." She said. This time she looked away from the road, she looked at him, dead in the eye. Her eyes were welled with tears, they did not steam down her face or smear her make up, they were just there. Like they weren't for anyone but her. And he didn't want to take that away from her. "You're my best friend." "I don't care. I hate you, with every fiber of my being, I hate you. I hate you like the sun hates the moon, I hate you." She said it matter of factly, trying to be hurtful. She didn't want him to think she was weak. That she would just give up on this. "I cant loose you." His voice broke half way though, snapped under the pressure, hiccuped like a prepubescent boy talking to his crush. She turned to him, lent forward and whispered in his ear. "Too late." She turned on the ***** of her feet and melted away into the cool winters day, like she used to on those summer ones, where they would listen to the smiths, in that little hidden field, and make out. When they were best friends. When they both knew they could never be just best friends. When they both tasted like the american dream and homemade cooking. When the sun loved the moon.
0
May 20, 2014
May 20, 2014 at 6:51 AM UTC
A short story for the sun and the moon
"Remember in summer when we used to listen to the smiths and make out in that little hidden park?" He said with a little smirk. "Tragically, yes." She didn't even look at him. She didn't laugh with him. She didn't smirk back. She looked ahead, stared at the open road, like it was a possible escape plan. "I miss you." He didn't think. Its funny, the things you regret immediately, the things you regret as they're happening. "No, you don't." The same monotone voice. "Why cant we get over this?" Hes not angry, or pleading, or sad. Hes just asking. He doesn't expect an answer. "Because I hate you." She said. This time she looked away from the road, she looked at him, dead in the eye. Her eyes were welled with tears, they did not steam down her face or smear her make up, they were just there. Like they weren't for anyone but her. And he didn't want to take that away from her. "You're my best friend." "I don't care. I hate you, with every fiber of my being, I hate you. I hate you like the sun hates the moon, I hate you." She said it matter of factly, trying to be hurtful. She didn't want him to think she was weak. That she would just give up on this. "I cant loose you." His voice broke half way though, snapped under the pressure, hiccuped like a prepubescent boy talking to his crush. She turned to him, lent forward and whispered in his ear. "Too late." She turned on the ***** of her feet and melted away into the cool winters day, like she used to on those summer ones, where they would listen to the smiths, in that little hidden field, and make out. When they were best friends. When they both knew they could never be just best friends. When they both tasted like the american dream and homemade cooking. When the sun loved the moon.
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11
I had put on weight, I enjoyed life, I  was optimist, I was my children's  number one, My husband had not left me, Though my beauty was receding. Didn't have time for beauty parlours, I decided to sum up myself in the mirror, Looked at my curves, None at all, Looked at my face, Slight traces of beauty left. Needed a face lift, Smile still **** and beautiful, Hair, high time I went to a good hairstylist. I turned this way and that way, I was no more stylish, I was fading. Tears welled up in my eyes, I heard a chorus from behind me, "BEST CREATION FROM GOD" My three children and husband gathered around me for a family hug, We love you as you are, Nothing More Nothing Less.
0
Jun 28, 2018
Jun 28, 2018 at 5:19 PM UTC
Best Creation
The little boy stood, with cone in hand. The ice cream on the ground. The tears welled up in his eyes, as people stood around. Tears fell like rain, his heart was breaking, he didn’t know what to do. Then through the tears, saw grandpa kneeling… Saying, “Grandpa’s here for you.” Grandpa said to the ice cream man “Another ice cream please.” “Stack it high and pack it tight.” “We’ve got things to do and see.” The little boy melted into his arms The sorrow turned to joy. When grandpa’s near, all is better For grandpa’s little boy. Oh, grandpa loves you Tony Boy Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there. I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there . The little boy grew to a fine young man. The time went by so fast. He learned of things not of this world. The things that will always last. You could see grandpa and the young man, Walking side by side through life. When things got tough they called on Him, To help them through the strife. Oh, grandpa loves you Tony Boy Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there. I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there . The young man cried when grandpa died. As they lowered him in the ground. Tears welled up, in his eyes As people stood around. Tears fell like rain, his heart was breaking. He knew just what to do. So he looked up high to see the Father And heard “Grandpa’s here for you.” Your, grandpa loves you Tony Boy Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Me I will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find him waiting here. He’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get here Oh, grandpa loves you Tony Boy Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. Your will find me waiting here. I’ll be kneeling right next to Jesus While I’m waiting for you to get here. Good night sweet Prince. See you in the morning.
0
Jun 28, 2010
Jun 28, 2010 at 10:25 PM UTC
Ice Cream
The little boy stood, with cone in hand. The ice cream on the ground. The tears welled up in his eyes, as people stood around. Tears fell like rain, his heart was breaking, he didn’t know what to do. Then through the tears, saw grandpa kneeling… Saying, “Grandpa’s here for you.” Grandpa said to the ice cream man “Another ice cream please.” “Stack it high and pack it tight.” “We’ve got things to do and see.” The little boy melted into his arms The sorrow turned to joy. When grandpa’s near, all is better For grandpa’s little boy. Oh, grandpa loves you Tony Boy Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there. I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there . The little boy grew to a fine young man. The time went by so fast. He learned of things not of this world. The things that will always last. You could see grandpa and the young man, Walking side by side through life. When things got tough they called on Him, To help them through the strife. Oh, grandpa loves you Tony Boy Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there. I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there . The young man cried when grandpa died. As they lowered him in the ground. Tears welled up, in his eyes As people stood around. Tears fell like rain, his heart was breaking. He knew just what to do. So he looked up high to see the Father And heard “Grandpa’s here for you.” Your, grandpa loves you Tony Boy Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Me I will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find him waiting here. He’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get here Oh, grandpa loves you Tony Boy Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. Your will find me waiting here. I’ll be kneeling right next to Jesus While I’m waiting for you to get here. Good night sweet Prince. See you in the morning.
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33
Today, I accidentally spoke to a stranger. Seated at the round table with my laptop, I stared at a couple speaking my language. He caught me looking, and seemed confused. I was embarrassed for staring so I explained, "I understood them- there aren't many other speakers that I know," and quickly looked back down. And the feeling of regret welled up inside me. It was far too late. I can see him staring at me, now. Burning holes into the back of my screen. For a second I thought he might have been mute. Why stare at me so hard without uttering a word? I'm not wearing anything particularly interesting. He must know that I see him in my peripherals. What if he really is mute? Maybe he needs some help? Should I look up? I can't. Why not? Because that would mean I'd have to speak more. You shouldn't have spoken at all. I was embarrassed for staring. He should be embarrassed for staring, too. I hope I didn't "speak his language." He probably isn't even looking at you. We're the only ones at this table. He keeps looking up from his book. Maybe if I look at him quickly I'll know if he's looking at the empty billboard behind me instead. I just looked up. He's looking at me. And not a word was exchanged. Now this is that much more awkward, I'll never look up again. I'll just pack my things. And never speak to strangers again. But wait... what if he knows me? What if he's waiting for me to recognize him? I don't know him, I'm sure. He won't stop staring. I close my laptop and see my motley stickers. Some with writing, some with pictures. Sigh of relief. Just my stickers. I'd look, too. Packed it away and went to class. How silly was I, just then? But I still won't speak to strangers, again.
0
Apr 11, 2014
Apr 11, 2014 at 7:25 AM UTC
Stranger's Paranoia
Today, I accidentally spoke to a stranger. Seated at the round table with my laptop, I stared at a couple speaking my language. He caught me looking, and seemed confused. I was embarrassed for staring so I explained, "I understood them- there aren't many other speakers that I know," and quickly looked back down. And the feeling of regret welled up inside me. It was far too late. I can see him staring at me, now. Burning holes into the back of my screen. For a second I thought he might have been mute. Why stare at me so hard without uttering a word? I'm not wearing anything particularly interesting. He must know that I see him in my peripherals. What if he really is mute? Maybe he needs some help? Should I look up? I can't. Why not? Because that would mean I'd have to speak more. You shouldn't have spoken at all. I was embarrassed for staring. He should be embarrassed for staring, too. I hope I didn't "speak his language." He probably isn't even looking at you. We're the only ones at this table. He keeps looking up from his book. Maybe if I look at him quickly I'll know if he's looking at the empty billboard behind me instead. I just looked up. He's looking at me. And not a word was exchanged. Now this is that much more awkward, I'll never look up again. I'll just pack my things. And never speak to strangers again. But wait... what if he knows me? What if he's waiting for me to recognize him? I don't know him, I'm sure. He won't stop staring. I close my laptop and see my motley stickers. Some with writing, some with pictures. Sigh of relief. Just my stickers. I'd look, too. Packed it away and went to class. How silly was I, just then? But I still won't speak to strangers, again.
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52
I took a seat at the chess-board I felt tense as a tightly stretched cord My opponent turned around to face me And a look of great fear did grace me Feebly, I moved up a pawn I felt vulnerable as a fawn He smirked, and he brought out a knight So consumed was I with fright That I did do something so rash I brought out my queen, and then CRASH! My queen was captured by the horse My face was consumed by remorse I thought of offering a draw I thought of my chess-playing flaw Then I remembered one thing That I was still badly losing He brought his queen to the seventh rank He knew that he had to be frank With a knight of his standing idly by, My king moved up, up into the sky He clearly stated in a voice great, I have won, you lose, Checkmate! My eyes welled up with salty tears My cries against the victor’s cheers From this day forth I dread to play Chess does make my mood so gray I forever ponder the mess That I made of that game of chess.
0
Aug 10, 2015
Aug 10, 2015 at 12:50 PM UTC
The Mess I Made of a Game of Chess
In your place, I planted a golden shower. On the southern border Of a dilapidated, porous house. When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive. In your place, I planted a golden shower. I used leaves that have decayed More than the usual As manure. I took handfuls of the sand, That was measured out For construction of the house, And spread over its base, Without any measure. I diverted the rain, That was flowing away lazily, To its base. ******* trembled As love swelled up within. When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive. In your place, I planted a golden shower. I kissed every leaf, Without anyone seeing it. Its veins looked like yours, When I read them gently. And when the eyes welled up I made a ridge under them With my soiled hands. When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive. In your place, I planted a golden shower. I will nurture it with love. I will fight with ants and beetles And even butterflies. If it ever droops, I will pamper it with sweet talks And pet names uttered in its ear. When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive. In your place, I planted a golden shower. I will stand guard to it In rain and shine. I will tattoo on my palm Its green, branches and leaves. When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive. In your place, I planted a golden shower. Tears Spittle ***** I will pour out the soul of life Just for it. When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive. In your place, I planted a golden shower. In nights, when I really lose it, I will hug it and cry my heart out. I will shower it with kisses, Drenched with tears and spittle. I will lie down on its lap, When the eleven bells crumble. And when I feel naughtier I will close my eyes Get inside it And hide in there. When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive. In your place, I planted a golden shower. One day, It will flower. And sing aloud, yellow yellow yellow. The wind, birds and all creepers around Will take up that song. When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive. In your place, I planted a golden shower. One day. *** One day I will open my day With its sight And fade away to next life. It will wait for me Till the next life. *** ‘ When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive.’ A requiem sung at funeral of Christians.
0
Apr 12, 2019
Apr 12, 2019 at 10:31 AM UTC
In Your Place
In your place, I planted a golden shower. On the southern border Of a dilapidated, porous house. When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive. In your place, I planted a golden shower. I used leaves that have decayed More than the usual As manure. I took handfuls of the sand, That was measured out For construction of the house, And spread over its base, Without any measure. I diverted the rain, That was flowing away lazily, To its base. ******* trembled As love swelled up within. When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive. In your place, I planted a golden shower. I kissed every leaf, Without anyone seeing it. Its veins looked like yours, When I read them gently. And when the eyes welled up I made a ridge under them With my soiled hands. When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive. In your place, I planted a golden shower. I will nurture it with love. I will fight with ants and beetles And even butterflies. If it ever droops, I will pamper it with sweet talks And pet names uttered in its ear. When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive. In your place, I planted a golden shower. I will stand guard to it In rain and shine. I will tattoo on my palm Its green, branches and leaves. When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive. In your place, I planted a golden shower. Tears Spittle ***** I will pour out the soul of life Just for it. When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive. In your place, I planted a golden shower. In nights, when I really lose it, I will hug it and cry my heart out. I will shower it with kisses, Drenched with tears and spittle. I will lie down on its lap, When the eleven bells crumble. And when I feel naughtier I will close my eyes Get inside it And hide in there. When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive. In your place, I planted a golden shower. One day, It will flower. And sing aloud, yellow yellow yellow. The wind, birds and all creepers around Will take up that song. When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive. In your place, I planted a golden shower. One day. *** One day I will open my day With its sight And fade away to next life. It will wait for me Till the next life. *** ‘ When it rains, Seeds sprout in the fields. When the bugle sounds, The dead come alive.’ A requiem sung at funeral of Christians.
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116
As I looked up at the roof over my head Silent tears welled up in my eyes Thinking of those without homes, seeking for shelter Those whose cities were hit by a natural disaster As I filled my stomach with food everyday Silent tears welled up in my eyes Thinking of those in poverty-stricken countries Starving, fighting the hardship for centuries As I cuddled my little one to sleep Silent tears welled up in my eyes Thinking of those who lost their loved ones Due to fatal diseases or firing guns As I lay on my bed every night Silent tears welled up in my eyes Remembering all the things I should be thankful for Especially for still being able to breathe And so much more...
0
Jun 19, 2015
Jun 19, 2015 at 4:35 PM UTC
Silent tears
She spread her arms and embraced me that familiar scent made me smile I noticed the wrinkles on her arms and my heart ached she spent half of her life preparing what's best for me and still.. she is here comforting me at my worst My eyes welled up as i held back my tears thinking of all the things i couldn't do for her My heart pounding in a rhythm thinking of all the best things for her As she got up to bring me my favorite snack tears finally escaped my eyes wiping them away quickly i promised to myself I'll never leave you maa
0
Mar 2, 2021
Mar 2, 2021 at 12:47 PM UTC
Maa
We live to eat, love, clean and work so one day we can die A busy life style is where we strive The spider runs from the broom only to see me, a human being He stared at me waiting for fate He knew I was meant to destroy his dark little body Still and calmness as he waited I sat next to him My hand wouldn’t cooperate He is nothing but beauty in a world that only sees his ugly A voice told me, “He helps. It is your obligation to repay his generosity.” My eyes welled up with humility I felt a part of his unimportant soul was me I thanked him as I let him go
0
Nov 1, 2016
Nov 1, 2016 at 11:25 PM UTC
A thank you card
I'M A SHOPPING CENTER SANTA CLAUS FOR THREE WEEKS EVERY YEAR IT PAYS MY RENT AND BUYS ME FOOD AND BUYS A CASE OF BEER I NEVER REALLY LIKED IT 'TILL ONE DAY TWO YEARS BACK WHEN ONE SMALL CHILD ASKED ME JUST HOW I FILLED MY SACK I THOUGHT A BIT AND TOLD THE WAIF THAT MAGIC FILLED IT UP HER EYES GREW WIDE AS SAUCERS JUST WAITING FOR A CUP I TOLD HER HOW MY ELVES MADE THE TOYS FOR ME TO GIVE TO TAKE AROUND THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD WHERE ALL THE CHILDREN LIVE SHE ASKED ME THEN WHY DID I NOT FULFILL HER WISH LAST YEAR I NOTICED THEN, HER EYES WELLED UP AND I KNOW I SAW A TEAR SHE SAID THAT HER POOR MOTHER HAD LEFT AND RUN AWAY SHE PACKED HER BAGS A YEAR AGO AND LEFT ON CHRISTMAS DAY SHE DIDN'T LEAVE ME ANY GIFTS SHE SAID IN HER SMALL VOICE SHE ONLY LEFT A LETTER SAYING SHE HAD NOT OTHER CHOICE SHE ASKED THAT WITH MY MAGIC I MAKE HER WISH COME TRUE I'D SAID I'D TRY TO DO IT I WOULD SEE WHAT I COULD DO I WIPED MY NOSE AND DRIED MY TEARS AND PUT THE SMALL GIRL DOWN SHE TURNED TO LEAVE AND WALK AWAY HER COAT WAS CHOCOLATE BROWN IT WAS A FEW DAYS LATER THAT SHE CAME BACK TO MY CHAIR HER EYES WERE BRIGHT AND SPARKLING AND SHE WORE RIBBONS IN HER HAIR THANK YOU SANTA FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE THERE'S SOMEONE YOU SHOULD MEET THIS IS MY MUM, SHE'S COME BACK HOME SHE'S MY EARLY CHRISTMAS TREAT YOUR MAGIC WORKED A MIRACLE YOU MADE MY WISH COME TRUE NOW I BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS AND THE EASTER BUNNY TOO! I DID NOT TRY TO FIND HER MUM TO LIE WOULD NOT BE FAIR BUT WHEN I LEFT THE MALL THAT NIGHT I SAID A LITTLE PRAYER I PRAYED TO GOD THAT SHE WOULD FIND HER MOTHER BACK IN HER LIFE AND THAT THIS SMALL, YOUNG CHILD WOULD BE FREE FROM ANY STRIFE I KNOW THAT IT'S A PIPE DREAM LIKE WISHING ON A STAR BUT I WISHED ON ONE A FEW YEARS BACK AND SOMEONE HEARD ME FROM AFAR I'M A SHOPPING CENTER SANTA CLAUS FOR A WEEK OR MAYBE TWO BUT LITTLE GIRL, WHEREVER YOU ARE I STILL  BELIEVE IN YOU.
0
Jun 1, 2012
Jun 1, 2012 at 9:01 PM UTC
Shopping Center Santa
I'M A SHOPPING CENTER SANTA CLAUS FOR THREE WEEKS EVERY YEAR IT PAYS MY RENT AND BUYS ME FOOD AND BUYS A CASE OF BEER I NEVER REALLY LIKED IT 'TILL ONE DAY TWO YEARS BACK WHEN ONE SMALL CHILD ASKED ME JUST HOW I FILLED MY SACK I THOUGHT A BIT AND TOLD THE WAIF THAT MAGIC FILLED IT UP HER EYES GREW WIDE AS SAUCERS JUST WAITING FOR A CUP I TOLD HER HOW MY ELVES MADE THE TOYS FOR ME TO GIVE TO TAKE AROUND THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD WHERE ALL THE CHILDREN LIVE SHE ASKED ME THEN WHY DID I NOT FULFILL HER WISH LAST YEAR I NOTICED THEN, HER EYES WELLED UP AND I KNOW I SAW A TEAR SHE SAID THAT HER POOR MOTHER HAD LEFT AND RUN AWAY SHE PACKED HER BAGS A YEAR AGO AND LEFT ON CHRISTMAS DAY SHE DIDN'T LEAVE ME ANY GIFTS SHE SAID IN HER SMALL VOICE SHE ONLY LEFT A LETTER SAYING SHE HAD NOT OTHER CHOICE SHE ASKED THAT WITH MY MAGIC I MAKE HER WISH COME TRUE I'D SAID I'D TRY TO DO IT I WOULD SEE WHAT I COULD DO I WIPED MY NOSE AND DRIED MY TEARS AND PUT THE SMALL GIRL DOWN SHE TURNED TO LEAVE AND WALK AWAY HER COAT WAS CHOCOLATE BROWN IT WAS A FEW DAYS LATER THAT SHE CAME BACK TO MY CHAIR HER EYES WERE BRIGHT AND SPARKLING AND SHE WORE RIBBONS IN HER HAIR THANK YOU SANTA FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE THERE'S SOMEONE YOU SHOULD MEET THIS IS MY MUM, SHE'S COME BACK HOME SHE'S MY EARLY CHRISTMAS TREAT YOUR MAGIC WORKED A MIRACLE YOU MADE MY WISH COME TRUE NOW I BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS AND THE EASTER BUNNY TOO! I DID NOT TRY TO FIND HER MUM TO LIE WOULD NOT BE FAIR BUT WHEN I LEFT THE MALL THAT NIGHT I SAID A LITTLE PRAYER I PRAYED TO GOD THAT SHE WOULD FIND HER MOTHER BACK IN HER LIFE AND THAT THIS SMALL, YOUNG CHILD WOULD BE FREE FROM ANY STRIFE I KNOW THAT IT'S A PIPE DREAM LIKE WISHING ON A STAR BUT I WISHED ON ONE A FEW YEARS BACK AND SOMEONE HEARD ME FROM AFAR I'M A SHOPPING CENTER SANTA CLAUS FOR A WEEK OR MAYBE TWO BUT LITTLE GIRL, WHEREVER YOU ARE I STILL  BELIEVE IN YOU.
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64
My worst enemy and tireless companion finally came to my door last night. As I slept away the time of day And killed my poor friend Time He traveled closer to my home. As I slowly cowered in the face of fear And realized my mistake too late As I chose to make a silly choice He quietly opened the door. Shame came in but didn't stop And with every tear that welled up inside He crawled in hot into my cheeks. As the salty drops burned away my skin He then moved on down to my throat And choked me up till air was gone. I gagged and shook, begging him to go Openly admitting my sin But Shame knew he could do more And as I watched my world crumble He eagerly attacked my heart. As he dripped down to the hearth He triumphed with his final mutation. The pain of Shame is nothing Next to that of his brother Humiliation. There, in the privacy of my soul He slaughtered my Pride with a blunted blade As Sloth cowered in the corner. When the room was red he finally paused With a smile on his face at the lesson he left. As he exited Responsibility came in instead And from the door watched with sad eyes Waiting for me to rise and finally apologise.
0
Sep 24, 2014
Sep 24, 2014 at 12:34 PM UTC
Shame
Once, I was excluded from love, in bitterness I cursed all that I saw, not knowing that this bitterness made me anathema to the very sensations I pursued. I spread hateful ideology, made every effort to share my misery, shouted condemnation at every pair of clasped hands, every kiss I saw made me retch. The bitterness welled up and poured forth from me, reppelling loves valiant attempts at liberating me from my tower cell. From my relatively pleasant existance I fashioned my own tailor fitted hell, which I wore everyday, steadily collecting filth, so soiled I had become. As I lifted the last shovelful from my early grave, and prepared to climb down within with my list of grievances against God stapled to my shirt, so I might never forget, my foot stepped out into the pit but a gentle hand clenched my shoulder and pulled me back from the hole, and I turned and discovered love... It does exist, none need be excluded, if the feeling exists for some all can be included. Love not for the pleasure of it, but for the pain, and strain, so that we may constantly measure it against the ache of loneliness and remind ourselves, that while love may be a neverending battle, surrender to hate brings nothing but ruin.
0
Oct 7, 2012
Oct 7, 2012 at 11:28 AM UTC
Surrender To Hate...
The little girl stood, with cone in hand. The ice cream on the ground. The tears welled up in her eyes, as people stood around. Tears fell like rain, her heart was breaking, she didn’t know what to do. Then through the tears, saw grandma kneeling… Saying, “Grandma’s here for you.” Grandma said to the ice cream man “Another ice cream please.” “Stack it high and pack it tight.” “We’ve got things to do and see.” The little girl melted into her arms The sorrow turned to joy. When grandma’s near, all is better For grandma’s little girl. Oh, grandma loves you Payton Girl, forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there. I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there . The little girl grew to a fine young lady. The time went by so fast. She learned of things not of this world. The things that will always last. You could see grandma and the young lady, Walking side by side through life. When things got tough they called on Him, To help them through the strife. Oh, grandma loves you Payton Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there. I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there . The young woman cried when grandma died. As they lowered her in the ground. Tears welled up, in her eyes As people stood around. Tears fell like rain, her heart was breaking. She knew just what to do. So she looked up high to see the Father And heard “Grandma’s here for you.” Your, grandma loves you Payton Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Me I will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find her waiting here. She’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get here Oh, grandma loves you Payton Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. Your will find me waiting here. I’ll be kneeling right next to Jesus While I’m waiting for you to get here. Good night sweet Princess.  See you in the morning
0
Jun 30, 2010
Jun 30, 2010 at 8:05 PM UTC
Ice Cream (Neva)
The little girl stood, with cone in hand. The ice cream on the ground. The tears welled up in her eyes, as people stood around. Tears fell like rain, her heart was breaking, she didn’t know what to do. Then through the tears, saw grandma kneeling… Saying, “Grandma’s here for you.” Grandma said to the ice cream man “Another ice cream please.” “Stack it high and pack it tight.” “We’ve got things to do and see.” The little girl melted into her arms The sorrow turned to joy. When grandma’s near, all is better For grandma’s little girl. Oh, grandma loves you Payton Girl, forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there. I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there . The little girl grew to a fine young lady. The time went by so fast. She learned of things not of this world. The things that will always last. You could see grandma and the young lady, Walking side by side through life. When things got tough they called on Him, To help them through the strife. Oh, grandma loves you Payton Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there. I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there . The young woman cried when grandma died. As they lowered her in the ground. Tears welled up, in her eyes As people stood around. Tears fell like rain, her heart was breaking. She knew just what to do. So she looked up high to see the Father And heard “Grandma’s here for you.” Your, grandma loves you Payton Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Me I will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find her waiting here. She’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get here Oh, grandma loves you Payton Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. Your will find me waiting here. I’ll be kneeling right next to Jesus While I’m waiting for you to get here. Good night sweet Princess.  See you in the morning
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33
Obama jetted back to Africa soaring aloft on gulf stream swank a posse of oil company execs in tow, intent on liberating Dark Continent fossil fuels from unjust underground prisons American entrepreneurs angling to get the upper hand in the high stakes global resource poker game pulled a big time race card to trump China’s full house On Goree Island, political paparazzi popped and clicked a perfect image of the neocolonial white clad President framed in a doorway filled with dark shadows and heinous memory of the unspeakable horrors of global trade leering from the portal at the Gate of No Return Obama welled with meditative epiphanies of personal seachange, and the vicissitudes of life, pondering his meteoric rise from a Land of Lincoln State Senator to American President in the span of one golden 9/11 decade At a South African University Town Hall Summit, the fist bumpin, mike droppin Prez telepromted the star struck folks with solemn universal civil rights pronouncements, wrapped in the riddle of the pursuit of peace, hidden in the enigma of the reverence for human dignity Later in the day Mr. Obama sat at the feet of a comatose Mandela; whispering into his ear why an Afghan peace eludes him, why his drone strikes rain death upon innocents and why his democratic republic defiles the civil liberties of its citizens to ransom a daily diet of fear But Madiba does not hear Mr. Obama’s feverish confessions; his ears are closed, he dreams only of the paradise of liberation he earned for his life's hard wages Music Selection: Gil Scott Heron Western Sunrise Oakland 070213 jbm
0
Jul 2, 2013
Jul 2, 2013 at 11:14 AM UTC
Obama in Africa
Obama jetted back to Africa soaring aloft on gulf stream swank a posse of oil company execs in tow, intent on liberating Dark Continent fossil fuels from unjust underground prisons American entrepreneurs angling to get the upper hand in the high stakes global resource poker game pulled a big time race card to trump China’s full house On Goree Island, political paparazzi popped and clicked a perfect image of the neocolonial white clad President framed in a doorway filled with dark shadows and heinous memory of the unspeakable horrors of global trade leering from the portal at the Gate of No Return Obama welled with meditative epiphanies of personal seachange, and the vicissitudes of life, pondering his meteoric rise from a Land of Lincoln State Senator to American President in the span of one golden 9/11 decade At a South African University Town Hall Summit, the fist bumpin, mike droppin Prez telepromted the star struck folks with solemn universal civil rights pronouncements, wrapped in the riddle of the pursuit of peace, hidden in the enigma of the reverence for human dignity Later in the day Mr. Obama sat at the feet of a comatose Mandela; whispering into his ear why an Afghan peace eludes him, why his drone strikes rain death upon innocents and why his democratic republic defiles the civil liberties of its citizens to ransom a daily diet of fear But Madiba does not hear Mr. Obama’s feverish confessions; his ears are closed, he dreams only of the paradise of liberation he earned for his life's hard wages Music Selection: Gil Scott Heron Western Sunrise Oakland 070213 jbm
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85
In Parsley, a Levantine munificence accreted together in Tabbouleh, herbage that covers fractured bedrock in a poultice of healing. Secreted within, lie igneous outpourings of bloodied tomatoes, those solid affections that had welled through an ocean floor as Neptune quelled Gaia's contractions, her waters seeking to burst beneath the wrinkled surface of a salty sea. She, an underbelly of sky, pregnant in the overwhelm of magma, sweating out her heart in fire, muted like a moon of Neptune, in his retrograde soliloquies, yet mirroring hers in icy resurfacings of skin. The God of the Sea, boils an amnion to hazy mists, how deep will his trident plunge to dislodge those Trojan ships of deceptions ? Yet, Triton blows a conch for Gaia, not for man's duelling and his warring tribes. He soothes her feverish gnashing of thighs labouring continents. Some fires burn in water, like desultory heartbeats moving the pace of rocks through the ocean floor, spiriting away to stranger places still, marking maps of memories in the beauty of a stillborn magma. The limestone they say is no blood relation to such alien fructification, those oceanic intruders, bleeding still, spilling secrets in reds and purples. The acid tears spilled in lemons merely neutralised in syllables, sedimented to a community of limestone, that possess no archaic remnants reminiscing through dead bones, an age of glory. Now beauty lies in herbage over once raucous magma and traces of a salty sea, freshness of life trailing her veins, in fragrance of Parsley
0
Jun 24, 2021
Jun 24, 2021 at 7:15 AM UTC
A levantine Myth
In Parsley, a Levantine munificence accreted together in Tabbouleh, herbage that covers fractured bedrock in a poultice of healing. Secreted within, lie igneous outpourings of bloodied tomatoes, those solid affections that had welled through an ocean floor as Neptune quelled Gaia's contractions, her waters seeking to burst beneath the wrinkled surface of a salty sea. She, an underbelly of sky, pregnant in the overwhelm of magma, sweating out her heart in fire, muted like a moon of Neptune, in his retrograde soliloquies, yet mirroring hers in icy resurfacings of skin. The God of the Sea, boils an amnion to hazy mists, how deep will his trident plunge to dislodge those Trojan ships of deceptions ? Yet, Triton blows a conch for Gaia, not for man's duelling and his warring tribes. He soothes her feverish gnashing of thighs labouring continents. Some fires burn in water, like desultory heartbeats moving the pace of rocks through the ocean floor, spiriting away to stranger places still, marking maps of memories in the beauty of a stillborn magma. The limestone they say is no blood relation to such alien fructification, those oceanic intruders, bleeding still, spilling secrets in reds and purples. The acid tears spilled in lemons merely neutralised in syllables, sedimented to a community of limestone, that possess no archaic remnants reminiscing through dead bones, an age of glory. Now beauty lies in herbage over once raucous magma and traces of a salty sea, freshness of life trailing her veins, in fragrance of Parsley
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23
The little girl stood, with cone in hand. The ice cream on the ground. The tears welled up in her eyes, as people stood around. Tears fell like rain, her heart was breaking, she didn’t know what to do. Then through the tears, saw grandpa kneeling… Saying, “Grandpa’s here for you.” Grandpa said to the ice cream man “Another ice cream please.” “Stack it high and pack it tight.” “We’ve got things to do and see.” The little girl melted into his arms The sorrow turned to joy. When grandpa’s near, all is better For grandpa’s little girl. Oh, grandpa loves you Lucy Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there. I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there . The little girl grew to a fine young woman. The time went by so fast. She learned of things not of this world. The things that will always last. You could see grandpa and the young girl, Walking side by side through life. When things got tough they called on Him, To help them through the strife. Oh, grandpa loves you Lucy Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there. I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there . The young woman cried when grandpa died. As they lowered him in the ground. Tears welled up, in her eyes As people stood around. Tears fell like rain, her heart was breaking. She knew just what to do. So she looked up high to see the Father And heard “Grandpa’s here for you.” Your, grandpa loves you Lucy Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Me I will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find him waiting here. He’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get here Oh, grandpa loves you Lucy Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. Your will find me waiting here. I’ll be kneeling right next to Jesus While I’m waiting for you to get here. Good night sweet Princess. See you in the morning. ©9-15-06 John Stevens 11-08-2013 Written originally for my grandson Tony (8). People say we are joined at the hip. He is a 24/7 little guy and this is how I "wish"/"hope" life will be lived. I realized I needed to make a copy for Lucy Girl (4) so she will be included. Ice Cream was written for my grandson Tony (Anthony Stevens) as a reminder how I want to be as an influence in his life. There is also an underlying deeper meaning as to our relationship to God. Our Ice Cream (blessings) hits the ground from time to time because of our neglect or possibly no fault of our own, but God is there if we just look up and see Him kneeling to take us in His arms. It all started on a Sunday morning when my Pastor said, “imagine a little boy standing there with an empty cone in his hand…. and the ice cream is on the ground. The images came flooding in and by the time first service was over, most of it was written. Since I run the sound system I listen to both Sunday morning services. Much of what I have written about has come from a trigger on Sunday morning or something similar. What do you do when YOUR Ice Cream hits the ground? It has been sung to a couple of venues.
0
Nov 8, 2013
Nov 8, 2013 at 10:12 AM UTC
Ice Cream (Lucy)
The little girl stood, with cone in hand. The ice cream on the ground. The tears welled up in her eyes, as people stood around. Tears fell like rain, her heart was breaking, she didn’t know what to do. Then through the tears, saw grandpa kneeling… Saying, “Grandpa’s here for you.” Grandpa said to the ice cream man “Another ice cream please.” “Stack it high and pack it tight.” “We’ve got things to do and see.” The little girl melted into his arms The sorrow turned to joy. When grandpa’s near, all is better For grandpa’s little girl. Oh, grandpa loves you Lucy Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there. I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there . The little girl grew to a fine young woman. The time went by so fast. She learned of things not of this world. The things that will always last. You could see grandpa and the young girl, Walking side by side through life. When things got tough they called on Him, To help them through the strife. Oh, grandpa loves you Lucy Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there. I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there . The young woman cried when grandpa died. As they lowered him in the ground. Tears welled up, in her eyes As people stood around. Tears fell like rain, her heart was breaking. She knew just what to do. So she looked up high to see the Father And heard “Grandpa’s here for you.” Your, grandpa loves you Lucy Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Me I will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find him waiting here. He’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get here Oh, grandpa loves you Lucy Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. Your will find me waiting here. I’ll be kneeling right next to Jesus While I’m waiting for you to get here. Good night sweet Princess. See you in the morning. ©9-15-06 John Stevens 11-08-2013 Written originally for my grandson Tony (8). People say we are joined at the hip. He is a 24/7 little guy and this is how I "wish"/"hope" life will be lived. I realized I needed to make a copy for Lucy Girl (4) so she will be included. Ice Cream was written for my grandson Tony (Anthony Stevens) as a reminder how I want to be as an influence in his life. There is also an underlying deeper meaning as to our relationship to God. Our Ice Cream (blessings) hits the ground from time to time because of our neglect or possibly no fault of our own, but God is there if we just look up and see Him kneeling to take us in His arms. It all started on a Sunday morning when my Pastor said, “imagine a little boy standing there with an empty cone in his hand…. and the ice cream is on the ground. The images came flooding in and by the time first service was over, most of it was written. Since I run the sound system I listen to both Sunday morning services. Much of what I have written about has come from a trigger on Sunday morning or something similar. What do you do when YOUR Ice Cream hits the ground? It has been sung to a couple of venues.
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39
Bye bye Mr. Blueberry pie Checked the fridge for some milk But the milk jug was dry. The tears welled up And I wanted to cry. "Back into the fridge," I sighed. "Back into the fridge," I sighed.
0
Aug 22, 2014
Aug 22, 2014 at 1:04 AM UTC
Blueberry Pie (Midnight Snack)
There was, once, a love that was based on a dance that lasted for two years. She was a partner that wanted to compete for first place in a county fair. She spoke soft, gentle words to put me at ease. We began the dance, mutually significant in each other's eyes. As we started to sweat, far into the first three months, she gave in and collapsed. My heart fell to the pit of my stomach, and my eyes welled with sorrow. We continued with our dancing practices, and did quite well. We entered other competitions, sometimes we made money and sometimes we didn't. Soon enough the county fair came a-rolling through again. We tried again. This time, the clock was already against us, but we were older and with more practice. We began the dance, we tried as well as we could, we sweated and took delightful deep breaths in the middle of this event. We were both pleased with the outcome. We ended up agreeing not to be partners again. Anyone up for a dance partner?
0
Jul 10, 2015
Jul 10, 2015 at 3:16 AM UTC
Dance Partners
The little girl stood, with cone in hand. The ice cream on the ground. The tears welled up in her eyes, as people stood around. Tears fell like rain, her heart was breaking, she didn’t know what to do. Then through the tears, saw grandpa kneeling… Saying, “Grandpa’s here for you.” Grandpa said to the ice cream man “Another ice cream please.” “Stack it high and pack it tight.” “We’ve got things to do and see.” The little girl melted into his arms The sorrow turned to joy. When grandpa’s near, all is better For grandpa’s little girl. Oh, grandpa loves you Lady Sye Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there. I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there . The little girl grew to a fine young woman. The time went by so fast. She learned of things not of this world. The things that will always last. You could see grandpa and the young girl, Walking side by side through life. When things got tough they called on Him, To help them through the strife. Oh, grandpa loves you Lady Sye Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there. I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there . The young woman cried when grandpa died. As they lowered him in the ground. Tears welled up, in her eyes As people stood around. Tears fell like rain, her heart was breaking. She knew just what to do. So she looked up high to see the Father And heard “Grandpa’s here for you.” Your, grandpa loves you Lady Sye Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Me I will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find him waiting here. He’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get here Oh, grandpa loves you Lady Sye Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. Your will find me waiting here. I’ll be kneeling right next to Jesus While I’m waiting for you to get here. Good night sweet Princess. See you in the morning. ©9-15-06 John Stevens 07-14-2014 For Sye
0
Jul 14, 2014
Jul 14, 2014 at 6:19 PM UTC
Ice Cream (Lady Sye)
The little girl stood, with cone in hand. The ice cream on the ground. The tears welled up in her eyes, as people stood around. Tears fell like rain, her heart was breaking, she didn’t know what to do. Then through the tears, saw grandpa kneeling… Saying, “Grandpa’s here for you.” Grandpa said to the ice cream man “Another ice cream please.” “Stack it high and pack it tight.” “We’ve got things to do and see.” The little girl melted into his arms The sorrow turned to joy. When grandpa’s near, all is better For grandpa’s little girl. Oh, grandpa loves you Lady Sye Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there. I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there . The little girl grew to a fine young woman. The time went by so fast. She learned of things not of this world. The things that will always last. You could see grandpa and the young girl, Walking side by side through life. When things got tough they called on Him, To help them through the strife. Oh, grandpa loves you Lady Sye Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there. I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there . The young woman cried when grandpa died. As they lowered him in the ground. Tears welled up, in her eyes As people stood around. Tears fell like rain, her heart was breaking. She knew just what to do. So she looked up high to see the Father And heard “Grandpa’s here for you.” Your, grandpa loves you Lady Sye Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Me I will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find him waiting here. He’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get here Oh, grandpa loves you Lady Sye Girl Forever and always. When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze. When you get to Heaven, many years from now. Your will find me waiting here. I’ll be kneeling right next to Jesus While I’m waiting for you to get here. Good night sweet Princess. See you in the morning. ©9-15-06 John Stevens 07-14-2014 For Sye
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35
the morning wake-up call from a horrifying dream sequence the kind where you slowly sit up in silence & stare at the wall too shocked to make a sound the nightmare was in itself normal everyone was kind to me but it felt untrue they all had daggers hidden deep in their palms ready to strike at my slightest faltering I made my coffee and dove into the online world where he found me as a green dot on the screen sought me out and mentioned that fate had once again not been our mutual friend & he had walked in my mother's door just as I had left the other day the tears welled up casting colorlessly behind my hair I knew it too I saw his car hiding in the back but I kept on driving I had to go I had to go now my hands are shaking another outcome of too much java & not enough sustenance he kept asking what was wrong what was wrong its all wrong, honey & I'm two short tiptoes from driving into an open field clutching unharvested crops & screaming until my lungs give out I should have stayed
0
May 2, 2012
May 2, 2012 at 12:47 PM UTC
.make up your mind.
Every year now, I note the differences: the changes in the stones, the retreating car park and what is new to the waves. It is slight. You try to hide it by presenting the same places and lacing them with memories that all correspond. But you are changing. You take new beatings, and I can't help but wonder if we are alike. The process of erosion has caught us both, and year by year, cliff by cliff, it's wearing us down. It was always supposed to happen, but what if you change too much? What will happen when you change irreparably, irreconcilably? Even now you are only an imaginary home, so defamiliarized from the dream I demand. I know you promised me nothing. But I had a deal you didn't know about and you've ceased to make me happy. I can't help but be a little angry with you for letting the storm break you down. But is it really you, or is it me who has done the changing? Is it not my eyes and my erosion? Is it not the attrition and abrasion and the long shore drift that has welled up inside my own soul? Is it you or I? How can we know?
0
Apr 26, 2016
Apr 26, 2016 at 1:08 PM UTC
Erosion