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"weirded" poems
I'm sorry if things would come out so wrong It's just that I've loved you for oh so very long I don't know how I should interact Or how I should come to react I'd stutter like I'm a big dork I make worse conversations than that of a fork But it's because I'm just charmed by your smile I guess it's my way to stay with you for a while I keep my distance, not because I want a good bye But it's just that.. Well.. I'm way to shy I get all shaky when our shoulders would touch It's probably because I've longed for that so much *You must know what you do to me when our hands would simply touch If happiness were a grading system, I'd be at the top notch* So please don't be weirded out by how I am I'm trying to be normal with the best that I can I'm awkward, shy but oh so very kind and you're the only girl who's in my mind
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May 27, 2015
May 27, 2015 at 10:31 AM UTC
Torpe - Shy guy
My ****** When I asked you what part of me was sexiest, that's what you said. It weirded me out at first. I mean, I have a nice *** Great **** Good hips. Vaginas are icky. They smell and leak gew and blood. But I don’t know, now I like it. I love the fact that you love it. Maybe because it's the most intimate part of my body. No one's wanted that part of me before. No one's touched me like you touch me, kissed me where you kiss me. It’s deeper with you, and I guess that's because you love me
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Dec 10, 2015
Dec 10, 2015 at 12:08 AM UTC
My ******
When I asked you what part of me was sexiest, that's what you said. It weirded me out at first. I mean, I have a nice *** Great **** Good hips. Vaginas are icky. They smell and leak gew and blood. But I don’t know, now I like it. I love the fact that you love it. Maybe because it's the most intimate part of my body. No one's wanted that part of me before. No one's touched me like you touch me, kissed me where you kiss me. It’s deeper with you, and I guess that's because you love me
0
Aug 22, 2015
Aug 22, 2015 at 1:13 AM UTC
My ******
other than weirded the **** out she didn’t know how to feel about it so she read the words again SO GLAD TO SEE YOU ALIVE AND FINE, LOVE! ALWAYS KNEW MY DAUGHTER WILL MAKE IT BIG IN THIS SMALL WORLD. LOVE, DADDY The words were written with a black marker on a $100 bill that someone threw at her in the club while she was stripping on the pole Could’ve been a ****** prank but $100 was a bit too much to spend for laughs She tried to remember the faces of all the men who gathered around her and howled as she did her number but they were simply too many and too bland Later that night she asked the management to remove private lap dances from her list of services for a while and the request was denied Well, when you make it big in a small world you either carry the weight of fame on your shoulders or get crushed At least the money bought a good dinner for her little daughter and the two cats
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Apr 8, 2022
Apr 8, 2022 at 2:11 AM UTC
making it big in a small world
ME: She destroyed me and everything that I held onto. She drove me to suicide so many times and she didn't care. She just kept making my world darker and darker and she didn't stop. I tried suicide last night. I'm alone and I can't keep trying to live. I'm honestly done. NATALIE: What did she do to you! ME: She took/turned all my friends, even family against me. She bullied and harassed me. She just destroyed me by doing whatever the Hell she wants to with people's emotions. NATALIE: Don't **** yourself! I'm sorry, was I part of it? ME: When you were crushing on Kennedy, on her, I knew you would push me away and you kind of did... You're the only reason why I'm still here today. but I know that if I asked you out, you would say no... NATALIE: Ali I care and love you..... if you hurt yourself that would hurt me too. If I made you sad I'm sorry, really, really sorry. ME: I self-harm. Have since I was seven... I'm sorry. now you'll hate me because of it. NATALIE: I DON'T HATE YOU! NEVER WILL! I don't care about your mistakes ME: But you and I won't ever end up together. Would we? NATALIE: Why wouldn't we? When do you move ._. ME: I have no idea when I'm gonna move. I'll be here for 9th grade. You're way too good for me anyways. That's why I thought you and I wouldn't end up being a couple. Am I wrong? NATALIE: yes ME: So what are you saying??? NATALIE: I'm not sure. Don't take that the wrong way ._. ME: I already can tell that you are way too beautiful, smart, cute and amazing for me. If I told you I loved you more then anything else in the world, you would be weirded out. NATALIE: No I wouldn't. ME: Dude, trust me, I'm never going to be with you, you're just being nice to me. NATALIE: Shut the **** up. JK. But really...
0
May 20, 2013
May 20, 2013 at 9:30 PM UTC
Notes from L.A. Class (part 1)
ME: She destroyed me and everything that I held onto. She drove me to suicide so many times and she didn't care. She just kept making my world darker and darker and she didn't stop. I tried suicide last night. I'm alone and I can't keep trying to live. I'm honestly done. NATALIE: What did she do to you! ME: She took/turned all my friends, even family against me. She bullied and harassed me. She just destroyed me by doing whatever the Hell she wants to with people's emotions. NATALIE: Don't **** yourself! I'm sorry, was I part of it? ME: When you were crushing on Kennedy, on her, I knew you would push me away and you kind of did... You're the only reason why I'm still here today. but I know that if I asked you out, you would say no... NATALIE: Ali I care and love you..... if you hurt yourself that would hurt me too. If I made you sad I'm sorry, really, really sorry. ME: I self-harm. Have since I was seven... I'm sorry. now you'll hate me because of it. NATALIE: I DON'T HATE YOU! NEVER WILL! I don't care about your mistakes ME: But you and I won't ever end up together. Would we? NATALIE: Why wouldn't we? When do you move ._. ME: I have no idea when I'm gonna move. I'll be here for 9th grade. You're way too good for me anyways. That's why I thought you and I wouldn't end up being a couple. Am I wrong? NATALIE: yes ME: So what are you saying??? NATALIE: I'm not sure. Don't take that the wrong way ._. ME: I already can tell that you are way too beautiful, smart, cute and amazing for me. If I told you I loved you more then anything else in the world, you would be weirded out. NATALIE: No I wouldn't. ME: Dude, trust me, I'm never going to be with you, you're just being nice to me. NATALIE: Shut the **** up. JK. But really...
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Walking around Widener bookstore    Brown bag 40oz in grip on the first floor Hurricane my life and future funneled life a twister whimsical whirlwind down the hatch guzzle guzzle. Oh, Christie! How are you!? can you see I am a mess? I know Youtell my Chinese girlfriend from our study abroad you saw me a mess in the bookstore. SHe is now heartbroken in chongquing. see ah ha later im just returning books to get dope money. LAter Oh, I see you are stocking that Stranger Camus Langston Hughes English 102 I drift in my own “end of summers night” still dreamin’ still falllin’    Dropping, stumbling, the house of German exchange professors    Sequestered on speed ***** Welcome to Chester Corpse exquisite   the Bride resides in physics-compartmentalized-drawers   hiding refuge from the storm He was Alone                              ( Most of the time he got weirded out easily)
0
Feb 11, 2015
Feb 11, 2015 at 7:53 PM UTC
Introduction to the Formal Elements
The terrifying teeth chatter into the crimson lips of a wound up smile, chattering along the very risen table top that draws all small toys to their finite dooms. While breaths sour hour upon hour, each idling ear suffocates the last gasping breaths of its epicurean syllabic tongue, drizzling down the stomach like melt water from a cubic glacier in an ornamental silver tub, and sternly quibbles the stem-like dactyls drawing rose champagne into a fissure of the brain's tumescent humming. Each finger tips' nail rouge and red, each dry crevice sewn into the knuckles, and a leaflet on sadism near the scratchy illegible lines whittled on the topside of the wrists and the slalom runs of the ankle. The ankle sinister. The ghost-like hallow sockets of where eyes could have once be seen. Plaster and albicant-like dying death white skins forbade from the Flushing streets where the jazz dance once began. And with each nellypotted hop, three useless nuisances could not carry the bridle towards each nearly favorite sound that curiosity enslaved man to lean towards. The women weirded out by corners, plastic-wrapped furniture in outdoor corridors, where sinners veil their retreats into state run triage centers. Fake plastic countertops built from fake plastic trees. With an M14's muzzle stiffening and shuttering, she who vents off her cured romances will always find herself flaccid on rubber knees. The disease of the plea, is once more an affectation of not falling for royalty but instead the royal we. There is this weapon of fraud that perplexes geneticists, that enslaves heterosexuals, where albeit nor the time or place, she venerates the libations that her mind creates, she lubricates her cells, dressing, her skin ripening, heaven trickling across her humble nape, where gentleness is only a fool's disease and need. She. We. Heathens of eternity bowing our breaths in grand hyperbole see. I see she, and she sees me.
0
Mar 2, 2015
Mar 2, 2015 at 3:28 AM UTC
The Parabols of Pericles
The terrifying teeth chatter into the crimson lips of a wound up smile, chattering along the very risen table top that draws all small toys to their finite dooms. While breaths sour hour upon hour, each idling ear suffocates the last gasping breaths of its epicurean syllabic tongue, drizzling down the stomach like melt water from a cubic glacier in an ornamental silver tub, and sternly quibbles the stem-like dactyls drawing rose champagne into a fissure of the brain's tumescent humming. Each finger tips' nail rouge and red, each dry crevice sewn into the knuckles, and a leaflet on sadism near the scratchy illegible lines whittled on the topside of the wrists and the slalom runs of the ankle. The ankle sinister. The ghost-like hallow sockets of where eyes could have once be seen. Plaster and albicant-like dying death white skins forbade from the Flushing streets where the jazz dance once began. And with each nellypotted hop, three useless nuisances could not carry the bridle towards each nearly favorite sound that curiosity enslaved man to lean towards. The women weirded out by corners, plastic-wrapped furniture in outdoor corridors, where sinners veil their retreats into state run triage centers. Fake plastic countertops built from fake plastic trees. With an M14's muzzle stiffening and shuttering, she who vents off her cured romances will always find herself flaccid on rubber knees. The disease of the plea, is once more an affectation of not falling for royalty but instead the royal we. There is this weapon of fraud that perplexes geneticists, that enslaves heterosexuals, where albeit nor the time or place, she venerates the libations that her mind creates, she lubricates her cells, dressing, her skin ripening, heaven trickling across her humble nape, where gentleness is only a fool's disease and need. She. We. Heathens of eternity bowing our breaths in grand hyperbole see. I see she, and she sees me.
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I picked a grape, from a cluster at a deli you know…to sneak a taste before I buy A lady scorned, “yuck, ain’t that dusty?”, and ******* her face like I was going to die “Hey, what’s up?”I said “I gave it a rub and I’m not going to buy unless I try, a lick with my lips, is as good as a scrub”, and I gave her a wink of my eye But she wasn’t impressed by my address and was weirded out by what I meant She quickly called the police for my arrest and accused me of sensual harassment When the police arrived at the crime I quickly swallowed the pips For a pinch of a grape, I’m paying no fine no matter what she claims I did with my lips
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Aug 28, 2021
Aug 28, 2021 at 7:28 AM UTC
Crime never pays
dont get weirded out this is safe for work you see im entertaining tomorrow a thorough cleaning is in order through and through first things first a proper dusting right after the coveted sharpie box shelf comes "first" books records bric-a-brac and all **** ive been meaning to listen to this album signed and everything lets put that on for some dusting music table turns check the needles effective i can hear the shallow resonance hmm no audio lets unplug all the cables check the power supply and the pre-amp turn it all off then on again **** let me take this apart real quick **** i need some parts i need to call stanton OPERATOR! OPERATOR! 30 minutes later im told they dont have it WHELP back to dusting stepping over stanton parts I THOUGHT I LOST THIS MOVIE i can play it in the background whilst im cleaning THE PROJECTORS BROKEN let me take that apart real quick hope i dont get the parts of the two aberrations crossed that mustnt happen wink and then the re-framing project and then organizing my music collection and then just one poem color code my closet rewrite my resume clip my toenails and my nose hair four more poems annnnnnnnnnd mess "oh hey welcome, drinks are over there just dont step on my record player" and heres where it gets crazy smart i tear EVERYTHING off the walls draw all over all the stuffs with those ****** sharpies that started it all turn the whole ******* place into a performance art piece i call it "fix it: I DARE YOU!"
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May 11, 2013
May 11, 2013 at 12:46 AM UTC
bedroom! party of one
My seven brothers keep secrets And they trust that I won't tell And I didn't Until now My brother keeps a lighter in his bag He's very asthmatic and also doesn't smoke He says it's a metaphor It's one less lighter that does it's job, and instead does a better job He believes that I wouldn't tell anyone And I didn't Until now My brother thought of killing himself once He's nice and everything seems alright He says it's ironic I want people to see how  my happiness isn't real. And it's sad that I'm already too good at it for them to notice. He believes that wouldn't tell anyone And I didn't Until now My brother wears rubber bands on his wrists He looked cool to me but it weirded me out He says it's an alternative The burn of me flicking bands on my wrist lessens my yearning for it to be cut open He believes that wouldn't tell anyone And I didn't Until now My brother likes boys, but he still likes girls all the same I thought it weird at first but it's who he is so I accepted him He says it's Love I fall for who I fall for, is it my fault if they think it wrong? He believes that wouldn't tell anyone And I didn't Until now My brother thinks he isn't good enough for anything good I try to tell him otherwise because I love him He says it's nothing I've grown up thinking I'll always get what I deserve. So that's what I expect till now. He believes that wouldn't tell anyone And I didn't Until now My brother wants to leave our house I try to tell him I'll miss me but he said he misses himself He says he's already left I'm already missing. You see my shadow and my face, but I'm already gone. He believes that wouldn't tell anyone And I didn't Until now My brother wants to be noticed but shy away from attention He doesn't glow in the dark as much as he emits darkness in the light He says is ironic I crave attention for the right I do but gains it by the wrongs I've done He believes that wouldn't tell anyone And I didn't Until now My brothers may have plenty secrets But I have one too And mine is that i never had brothers But all that I've said were true
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Jan 22, 2017
Jan 22, 2017 at 12:10 PM UTC
My brothers and I
My seven brothers keep secrets And they trust that I won't tell And I didn't Until now My brother keeps a lighter in his bag He's very asthmatic and also doesn't smoke He says it's a metaphor It's one less lighter that does it's job, and instead does a better job He believes that I wouldn't tell anyone And I didn't Until now My brother thought of killing himself once He's nice and everything seems alright He says it's ironic I want people to see how  my happiness isn't real. And it's sad that I'm already too good at it for them to notice. He believes that wouldn't tell anyone And I didn't Until now My brother wears rubber bands on his wrists He looked cool to me but it weirded me out He says it's an alternative The burn of me flicking bands on my wrist lessens my yearning for it to be cut open He believes that wouldn't tell anyone And I didn't Until now My brother likes boys, but he still likes girls all the same I thought it weird at first but it's who he is so I accepted him He says it's Love I fall for who I fall for, is it my fault if they think it wrong? He believes that wouldn't tell anyone And I didn't Until now My brother thinks he isn't good enough for anything good I try to tell him otherwise because I love him He says it's nothing I've grown up thinking I'll always get what I deserve. So that's what I expect till now. He believes that wouldn't tell anyone And I didn't Until now My brother wants to leave our house I try to tell him I'll miss me but he said he misses himself He says he's already left I'm already missing. You see my shadow and my face, but I'm already gone. He believes that wouldn't tell anyone And I didn't Until now My brother wants to be noticed but shy away from attention He doesn't glow in the dark as much as he emits darkness in the light He says is ironic I crave attention for the right I do but gains it by the wrongs I've done He believes that wouldn't tell anyone And I didn't Until now My brothers may have plenty secrets But I have one too And mine is that i never had brothers But all that I've said were true
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If you dont want to talk to me anymore Then just... Tell me. I mean I know we just met and all I'm new to all this, But you can't just leave me In the dark.... Cause I worry. I lose sleep. I care. I dont know if I scared you off Or weirded you out Or said something rude or wrong. I had a really great time Wednesday. With you. And for the first time in a while With you, I didn't feel alone. But if you don't want to talk to me anymore, Just tell me.
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Mar 1, 2015
Mar 1, 2015 at 3:41 AM UTC
Just Tell Me
Wisdom. He said. Probably the statement itself is weirded out. Wired into something so estranged. Something so strange. Wisdom He said. Think about it she persisted. Think about it he insisted. Wisdom
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Oct 9, 2014
Oct 9, 2014 at 3:34 PM UTC
Wisdom
WE'RE SO INCLINED REALIZE IT YOU'RE IT YOU'RE HERE PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN BREATHE AND LISTEN FEEL YOUR SURROUNDINGS I'M SO PASSIONATE ABOUT EVERYTHING AROUND WHAT I CAN FEEL AND CONTROL THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO EVERYTHING YOU ARE YOUR OWN DESTINY IF YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF DON'T BE TRAPPED IN THIS HOLE OF ADVERTISEMENT THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO YOUR EXISTENCE I PROMISE ASK ME WHAT'S ON MY MIND SO WE CAN PROGRESS DON'T BE WEIRDED OUT BY IT ANSWER ME HONESTLY TELL ME BE HONEST WITH ME AND YOURSELF **** GOES DOWN BUT IT'S SO POSITIVE IT'S SUCH A LESSON TO LEARN FROM MOVE FORWARD DON'T SETTLE I'M SO INTO EVERYTHING TO BACK DOWN I CAN'T BE STUCK APPRECIATE THIS IS EARTH WE'RE HER FOR A LITTLE WHILE BUT FOREVER KEEPS THE VIBE GOING IF THERE'S NOT A FOREVER WE STOP TRYING IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DELUSION LET'S KEEP IT GOING SPREAD LOVE AND GO WITH WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE IN AND ACHIEVE IT BECAUSE YOU WANT IT SO BAD I WANT TO BE THE BEST THE WEIRD IS SO YOU "WHAT'S ON YOUR ******* MIND?" IT'S SO SAD HOW PEOPLE THINK IT'S A WEIRD QUESTION I CARE, I WANT TO LEARN ABOUT YOU TO CHANGE PERSPECTIVE IT'S BAD THAT I THINK IT'S SAD BUT THE TRUTH HURTS YOU ARE NATURE IT'S ALL AROUND YOU BE WITHIN YOU THE WIND AND THE TREES THIS HAS BEEN HERE FOR SO LONG ON EARTH THIS IS OUR HOME DON'T GLUE YOURSELF TO A SCREEN GET OUT THERE AND BE ONE WITH WHAT'S BEEN THERE SINCE THE START
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May 31, 2015
May 31, 2015 at 11:40 PM UTC
On My Mind
"Chris just got kicked out of his house." We rode over to his house, and I listened to her sing. Christ sat on the porch railing dangling his legs, biting his fingernails. I stood on the grass, as she walked up to him. He looked at her neck. Yukimi put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him on the lips. Something could have rose in me. But it didn't. We rode back and Chris slumped into the couch. I heard him ******* his fingernails as me and Yukimi lay in bed. "Lips can do more than talk, I can tell he needed that, I'm sorry if it weirded you out." "No, it really didn't."
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Jan 2, 2012
Jan 2, 2012 at 10:31 PM UTC
Chris. Yukimi. Me.
WE'RE SO INCLINED REALIZE IT YOU'RE IT YOU'RE HERE PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN BREATHE AND LISTEN FEEL YOUR SURROUNDINGS I'M SO PASSIONATE IF THERE'S A WILL THERE'S A WAY ABOUT EVERYTHING AROUND WHAT I CAN FEEL AND CONTROL THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO EVERYTHING YOU ARE YOUR OWN DESTINY IF YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF DON'T BE TRAPPED IN THIS HOLE OF ADVERTISEMENT THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO YOUR EXISTENCE I PROMISE ASK ME WHAT'S ON MY MIND SO WE CAN PROGRESS DON'T BE WEIRDED OUT BY IT ANSWER ME HONESTLY TELL ME BE HONEST WITH ME AND YOURSELF **** GOES DOWN BUT IT'S SO POSITIVE IT'S SUCH A LESSON TO LEARN FROM MOVE FORWARD DON'T SETTLE I'M SO INTO EVERYTHING TO BACK DOWN I CAN'T BE STUCK APPRECIATE THIS IS EARTH WE'RE HERE FOR A LITTLE WHILE BUT FOREVER KEEPS THE VIBE GOING IF THERE'S NOT A FOREVER WE STOP TRYING IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DELUSION LET'S KEEP IT GOING SPREAD LOVE AND GO WITH WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE IN AND ACHIEVE IT BECAUSE YOU WANT IT SO BAD I WANT TO BE THE BEST THE WEIRD IS SO YOU "WHAT'S ON YOUR ******* MIND?" IT'S SO SAD HOW PEOPLE THINK IT'S A WEIRD QUESTION I CARE, I WANT TO LEARN ABOUT YOU TO CHANGE PERSPECTIVE IT'S BAD THAT I THINK IT'S SAD BUT THE TRUTH HURTS YOU ARE NATURE IT'S ALL AROUND YOU BE WITHIN YOU THE WIND AND THE TREES THIS HAS BEEN HERE FOR SO LONG ON EARTH THIS IS OUR HOME DON'T GLUE YOURSELF TO A SCREEN GET OUT THERE AND BE ONE WITH WHAT'S BEEN THERE SINCE THE START WHY ARE WE SO INSIDE THIS BUBBLE OF JUST MONEY THAT'S NOT FULFILMENT YOU KNOW THAT SPREAD YOUR PURE NATURE NOT FOR THE MONEY DON'T LET IT CONTROL YOU
0
Jun 4, 2015
Jun 4, 2015 at 4:58 PM UTC
david Bojay continued
WE'RE SO INCLINED REALIZE IT YOU'RE IT YOU'RE HERE PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN BREATHE AND LISTEN FEEL YOUR SURROUNDINGS I'M SO PASSIONATE IF THERE'S A WILL THERE'S A WAY ABOUT EVERYTHING AROUND WHAT I CAN FEEL AND CONTROL THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO EVERYTHING YOU ARE YOUR OWN DESTINY IF YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF DON'T BE TRAPPED IN THIS HOLE OF ADVERTISEMENT THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO YOUR EXISTENCE I PROMISE ASK ME WHAT'S ON MY MIND SO WE CAN PROGRESS DON'T BE WEIRDED OUT BY IT ANSWER ME HONESTLY TELL ME BE HONEST WITH ME AND YOURSELF **** GOES DOWN BUT IT'S SO POSITIVE IT'S SUCH A LESSON TO LEARN FROM MOVE FORWARD DON'T SETTLE I'M SO INTO EVERYTHING TO BACK DOWN I CAN'T BE STUCK APPRECIATE THIS IS EARTH WE'RE HERE FOR A LITTLE WHILE BUT FOREVER KEEPS THE VIBE GOING IF THERE'S NOT A FOREVER WE STOP TRYING IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DELUSION LET'S KEEP IT GOING SPREAD LOVE AND GO WITH WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE IN AND ACHIEVE IT BECAUSE YOU WANT IT SO BAD I WANT TO BE THE BEST THE WEIRD IS SO YOU "WHAT'S ON YOUR ******* MIND?" IT'S SO SAD HOW PEOPLE THINK IT'S A WEIRD QUESTION I CARE, I WANT TO LEARN ABOUT YOU TO CHANGE PERSPECTIVE IT'S BAD THAT I THINK IT'S SAD BUT THE TRUTH HURTS YOU ARE NATURE IT'S ALL AROUND YOU BE WITHIN YOU THE WIND AND THE TREES THIS HAS BEEN HERE FOR SO LONG ON EARTH THIS IS OUR HOME DON'T GLUE YOURSELF TO A SCREEN GET OUT THERE AND BE ONE WITH WHAT'S BEEN THERE SINCE THE START WHY ARE WE SO INSIDE THIS BUBBLE OF JUST MONEY THAT'S NOT FULFILMENT YOU KNOW THAT SPREAD YOUR PURE NATURE NOT FOR THE MONEY DON'T LET IT CONTROL YOU
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I remember the hugs you used to give me before I really knew you. I remember feeling weirded out by you asking me out over instagram. I remember the first time I stood close to you, thinking I felt something there. I remember you saying hurtful things in the beginning. I remember sitting in the back of my car, just talking until 1am. I remember being unsure if I wanted to be with you at first. I remember sitting on the floor of my dorm, and asking you to kiss me because you were too oblivious to do so. I remember feeling rushed by your want for instant commitment. I remember how much I wanted you, and how right it felt being with you. I remember feeling weird about dating someone from work. I remember the times you made me cry of happiness. I remember being hesitant about going public about our relationship. I remember times I was shocked at how intelligent you seemed. I remember being frustrated at how stubborn you were sometimes. I remember how happy it felt to be in the car with you. I remember the times when you let me down or left me to my own devices when I was sad. I remember how you made me feel like I was a kid again. I remember the time I sat crying on the floor after you told me I'd have to give up passing my culture to my kids. I remember wearing your jacket in North Carolina because it made me feel like you were there. I remember talking to my guy friend on New Year's because you went to sleep and missed midnight. I remember the smell of your laundry detergent and how it makes me smile even now. I remember the times you said you weren't sure if you wanted me around. I remember loving your family and wanting to be a part of it. I remember your family kicking me out onto the street when I became an inconvenience. I remember the times I just wanted to stare at your face because I couldn't believe I loved someone this much. I remember wondering if you ever truly loved me. I remember the things you did for me that made me feel loved and complete. I remember the times when I felt like a burden to you. I remember the times you were truly there when I needed you, even when it was inconvenient to you. I remember the times when you weren't. I remember the kisses you'd give before going to work in the morning. I remember feeling lonely on the days I didn't hear from you. I remember loving your flaws, because they were a part of you. I remember telling myself that your behavior was ok because there was an explanation. I don't want to remember the ugly. I know it was there. But I don't want to think of you that way. I want to think of you fast asleep on my chest after a long day. I want to think of not being able to wake you up because you are such a heavy sleeper. I want to think of you getting excited over snails. I want to think of your kindness. I want to think of your love. But that is not all there was. There was hurt. There was pain. And there were times I sacrificed who I was to be loved by you. But I don't want to remember that. I want to remember the love.
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Jun 15, 2020
Jun 15, 2020 at 10:25 AM UTC
I Remember
I remember the hugs you used to give me before I really knew you. I remember feeling weirded out by you asking me out over instagram. I remember the first time I stood close to you, thinking I felt something there. I remember you saying hurtful things in the beginning. I remember sitting in the back of my car, just talking until 1am. I remember being unsure if I wanted to be with you at first. I remember sitting on the floor of my dorm, and asking you to kiss me because you were too oblivious to do so. I remember feeling rushed by your want for instant commitment. I remember how much I wanted you, and how right it felt being with you. I remember feeling weird about dating someone from work. I remember the times you made me cry of happiness. I remember being hesitant about going public about our relationship. I remember times I was shocked at how intelligent you seemed. I remember being frustrated at how stubborn you were sometimes. I remember how happy it felt to be in the car with you. I remember the times when you let me down or left me to my own devices when I was sad. I remember how you made me feel like I was a kid again. I remember the time I sat crying on the floor after you told me I'd have to give up passing my culture to my kids. I remember wearing your jacket in North Carolina because it made me feel like you were there. I remember talking to my guy friend on New Year's because you went to sleep and missed midnight. I remember the smell of your laundry detergent and how it makes me smile even now. I remember the times you said you weren't sure if you wanted me around. I remember loving your family and wanting to be a part of it. I remember your family kicking me out onto the street when I became an inconvenience. I remember the times I just wanted to stare at your face because I couldn't believe I loved someone this much. I remember wondering if you ever truly loved me. I remember the things you did for me that made me feel loved and complete. I remember the times when I felt like a burden to you. I remember the times you were truly there when I needed you, even when it was inconvenient to you. I remember the times when you weren't. I remember the kisses you'd give before going to work in the morning. I remember feeling lonely on the days I didn't hear from you. I remember loving your flaws, because they were a part of you. I remember telling myself that your behavior was ok because there was an explanation. I don't want to remember the ugly. I know it was there. But I don't want to think of you that way. I want to think of you fast asleep on my chest after a long day. I want to think of not being able to wake you up because you are such a heavy sleeper. I want to think of you getting excited over snails. I want to think of your kindness. I want to think of your love. But that is not all there was. There was hurt. There was pain. And there were times I sacrificed who I was to be loved by you. But I don't want to remember that. I want to remember the love.
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42
He wasn't use to complements she would flirt with him and would wonder what's the catch. He thought there was a connection but there was a hidden agenda. He could never say how he felt for her because she would probably get weirded out living him alone. He thought about dating but the selection was very slim. He didn't have kids or want to raise anyone else's. He also met divorcees that weren't over the divorce or heartache they couldn't get over. He wasn't interested in getting married but did seek a way to be connected to another person. He never understood why people who are unhappy stay together using their kids as an excuse or because this history they don't want to let go of. Why do people cheat if they claim to love a person? How can people be so selfish and hurt others the worse is trying to justify it just own up you're in the wrong so it's not right. His mind raced with questions for failing couples living in the bubble of denial. He did get lost in his work since he was getting paid, he worked hard for every cent while others did nothing for 8 hours collecting a paycheck doing nothing to deserve it but that's on them and their conscience if they had one. He gave his all at work but everyone pointed out the regardless of all the other corrections he made. They finally gave him a thank you and told him he was doing a good job. It was soothing to finally feel appreciated. Most don't take pride in their work but he would give his all and not afraid to try. He didn't use people or take advantage of others even though would grind him to the bone.
0
Nov 10, 2017
Nov 10, 2017 at 11:07 AM UTC
Transition
He wasn't use to complements she would flirt with him and would wonder what's the catch. He thought there was a connection but there was a hidden agenda. He could never say how he felt for her because she would probably get weirded out living him alone. He thought about dating but the selection was very slim. He didn't have kids or want to raise anyone else's. He also met divorcees that weren't over the divorce or heartache they couldn't get over. He wasn't interested in getting married but did seek a way to be connected to another person. He never understood why people who are unhappy stay together using their kids as an excuse or because this history they don't want to let go of. Why do people cheat if they claim to love a person? How can people be so selfish and hurt others the worse is trying to justify it just own up you're in the wrong so it's not right. His mind raced with questions for failing couples living in the bubble of denial. He did get lost in his work since he was getting paid, he worked hard for every cent while others did nothing for 8 hours collecting a paycheck doing nothing to deserve it but that's on them and their conscience if they had one. He gave his all at work but everyone pointed out the regardless of all the other corrections he made. They finally gave him a thank you and told him he was doing a good job. It was soothing to finally feel appreciated. Most don't take pride in their work but he would give his all and not afraid to try. He didn't use people or take advantage of others even though would grind him to the bone.
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2
This world disgusts me This world disgusts me because when I see my best guy friend cry I get weirded out Not because guys crying is weird but because I've always been told they don't this world disgusts me because when I mention to my brother that girls liking girls is okay he lists all the reasons Jesus says it isn't This world disgusts me because I have to text one of my best friends and make sure she ate today because she wants to lose ten pounds and she'd give anything to do that This world disgusts me because when I sit in my French class and the teacher makes eye contact with me and sees that I am crying he keeps teaching, parce que c'est la vie This world disgusts me because when my chemistry teacher looked at me and my friend goofing around he assumes we don't feel the "academic stress" when I cry over my grades three times a week but he didn't ask me about that This world disgusts me because my brother, the same one as before, refuses to call someone we know by their chosen name and pronouns because "it's a free country" This world disgusts me because when I switch effortlessly between sobbing and looking fine my teacher calls me "The finest actress he's ever seen" but doesn't ask why I hide my emotions so easily Disgusting
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Apr 5, 2020
Apr 5, 2020 at 2:46 AM UTC
Gross