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"waitress" poems
Hello, Waitress in the sky So long her fear to fly She throws the world a smile bats her eyes in a wink she's gone hurling through the clouds calming others through turbulence **** the corporate scene Type A personalities acting mean humiliating her in a board meeting so she trades blue for green Goodbye Waitress in the sky trade her wings for a diamond ring So long her need for speed racing on the runway She was flying with the birds but now she's swimming with the fishes Deflated dreams of broadening horizons a-popped balloon and a rolling stone nowhere to go but everywhere Oh Lord, she won't get the answer tonight Oh sky, give her the strength to fly Oh Queen, find her a smart place to run and that's why she took US 66 for a drive
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Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 3:17 PM UTC
Goodbye Waitress in the Sky
When I grow up, I want to be a dentist Astronaut or mage apprentice. I want to be a dancer, an artist, a king. I'm hoping to stand on a stage and sing. When I grow up, I want to be a lawyer, Or have lead role in the play Tom Sawyer. I'll be a comedian, and make people laugh! Or the CEO with a thousand staff. I'll be a waitress, a teacher, a vet. Snow White's eighth dwarf that no one has met! I might be a chef, or a scientist. How about architect or alchemist? When I grow up, I'll be a song writer Or maybe your friendly, next-door firefighter. I'll be a technician or pharmacy worker, A fashion designer or New York stock broker. I'm gonna be everything, just you wait and see! But I think in the end I'm just gonna be me.
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May 22, 2012
May 22, 2012 at 10:53 AM UTC
When I Grow Up
I catch you sitting at the diner counter again at 2am, the fourth day in a row. The waitress comes over and hands you a black coffee. I stare, but you don’t turn around and catch me looking. You’re glaring into the mug, like somehow you’ll drown in the warm murky mix. Like somehow if you keep looking your problems will dissipate into the rising steam. Like somehow it’s the answer you’ve been searching for since you were born. You wanted an answer. Something that would make everything come full circle. It’s been years of you driving down an endless highway, passing every exit because you don’t know how to stay in one place. Even ghost towns won’t harbor something so deeply damaged. A person who can only pull the emergency break when they’re afraid they might crash. Crash into what? Not everything walking by you is a catastrophe.  Accidents only occur when you forget to pay attention. Just like how you forgot that your side door mirrors were broken. Those objects are not closer than they appear. You tried to slow down but they only seemed further away. Everything you’re trying to hold on to is slipping through your hands the way sand falls through the hourglass. Tick tock. Did you forget that people need affection if you want them to stay? They are not dolls you can glass-case until you feel like playing with them again. Not everybody enjoys being a toy. How long has it been since someone sat in the passenger seat? The car rides must be lonely when there’s no one around to fill the silence. You can blast the radio as loud as you want to but that won’t block out the hollow feeling in your chest. The one that sits where your heart is supposed to be. Something that music can’t fill. Your mother once told you that history repeats itself but did she mention that only happens when you refuse to change the scenery? If you always stay on the same road you’re never going to snap out of it. Break the curse. Realize that love is sitting at the base of every exit if you weren’t so scared of swerving into oncoming traffic. The only head-on collision that’s going to happen is when you grow too tired of driving alone that you forget to keep your eyes on the road. When you realize you placed yourself in your own hell and your breaks finally give out. When you fall asleep at the wheel and never wake up because you were terrified of letting somebody else steer.
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Sep 6, 2016
Sep 6, 2016 at 1:20 AM UTC
Car Accident
I catch you sitting at the diner counter again at 2am, the fourth day in a row. The waitress comes over and hands you a black coffee. I stare, but you don’t turn around and catch me looking. You’re glaring into the mug, like somehow you’ll drown in the warm murky mix. Like somehow if you keep looking your problems will dissipate into the rising steam. Like somehow it’s the answer you’ve been searching for since you were born. You wanted an answer. Something that would make everything come full circle. It’s been years of you driving down an endless highway, passing every exit because you don’t know how to stay in one place. Even ghost towns won’t harbor something so deeply damaged. A person who can only pull the emergency break when they’re afraid they might crash. Crash into what? Not everything walking by you is a catastrophe.  Accidents only occur when you forget to pay attention. Just like how you forgot that your side door mirrors were broken. Those objects are not closer than they appear. You tried to slow down but they only seemed further away. Everything you’re trying to hold on to is slipping through your hands the way sand falls through the hourglass. Tick tock. Did you forget that people need affection if you want them to stay? They are not dolls you can glass-case until you feel like playing with them again. Not everybody enjoys being a toy. How long has it been since someone sat in the passenger seat? The car rides must be lonely when there’s no one around to fill the silence. You can blast the radio as loud as you want to but that won’t block out the hollow feeling in your chest. The one that sits where your heart is supposed to be. Something that music can’t fill. Your mother once told you that history repeats itself but did she mention that only happens when you refuse to change the scenery? If you always stay on the same road you’re never going to snap out of it. Break the curse. Realize that love is sitting at the base of every exit if you weren’t so scared of swerving into oncoming traffic. The only head-on collision that’s going to happen is when you grow too tired of driving alone that you forget to keep your eyes on the road. When you realize you placed yourself in your own hell and your breaks finally give out. When you fall asleep at the wheel and never wake up because you were terrified of letting somebody else steer.
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1
I should not have blamed only my father, but, he was the first to introduce me to raw and stupid hatred. he was really best at it: anything and everything made him mad-things of the slightest consequence brought his hatred quickly to the surface and I seemed to be the main source of his irritation. I did not fear him but his rages made me ill at heart for he was most of my world then and it was a world of horror but I should not have blamed only my father for when I left that... home... I found his counterparts everywhere: my father was only a small part of the whole, though he was the best at hatred I was ever to meet. but others were very good at it too: some of the foremen, some of the street bums, some of the women I was to live with, most of the women, were gifted at hating-blaming my voice, my actions, my presence blaming me for what they, in retrospect, had failed at. I was simply the target of their discontent and in some real sense they blamed me for not being able to rouse them out of a failed past; what they didn't consider was that I had my troubles too-most of them caused by simply living with them. I am a dolt of a man, easily made happy or even stupidly happy almost without cause and left alone I am mostly content. but I've lived so often and so long with this hatred that my only freedom, my only peace is when I am away from them, when I am anywhere else, no matter where- some fat old waitress bringing me a cup of coffee is in comparison like a fresh wild wind blowing.
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17.2k
a wild, fresh wind blowing...
I should not have blamed only my father, but, he was the first to introduce me to raw and stupid hatred. he was really best at it: anything and everything made him mad-things of the slightest consequence brought his hatred quickly to the surface and I seemed to be the main source of his irritation. I did not fear him but his rages made me ill at heart for he was most of my world then and it was a world of horror but I should not have blamed only my father for when I left that... home... I found his counterparts everywhere: my father was only a small part of the whole, though he was the best at hatred I was ever to meet. but others were very good at it too: some of the foremen, some of the street bums, some of the women I was to live with, most of the women, were gifted at hating-blaming my voice, my actions, my presence blaming me for what they, in retrospect, had failed at. I was simply the target of their discontent and in some real sense they blamed me for not being able to rouse them out of a failed past; what they didn't consider was that I had my troubles too-most of them caused by simply living with them. I am a dolt of a man, easily made happy or even stupidly happy almost without cause and left alone I am mostly content. but I've lived so often and so long with this hatred that my only freedom, my only peace is when I am away from them, when I am anywhere else, no matter where- some fat old waitress bringing me a cup of coffee is in comparison like a fresh wild wind blowing.
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42
I became a criminal when I fell in love. Before that I was a waitress. I didn't want to go to Chicago with you. I wanted to marry you, I wanted Your wife to suffer. I wanted her life to be like a play In which all the parts are sad parts. Does a good person Think this way? I deserve Credit for my courage-- I sat in the dark on your front porch. Everything was clear to me: If your wife wouldn't let you go That proved she didn't love you. If she loved you Wouldn't she want you to be happy? I think now If I felt less I would be A better person. I was A good waitress. I could carry eight drinks. I used to tell you my dreams. Last night I saw a woman sitting in a dark bus-- In the dream, she's weeping, the bus she's on Is moving away. With one hand She's waving; the other strokes An egg carton full of babies. The dream doesn't rescue the maiden.
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16.5k
Siren
One. When my mom found us asleep in my bed at 4am and screamed at you to 'Get the **** OUT of her house,' you texted me the very next morning and asked to see me as though it never even happened. Two. When my family went out of town without me for Thanksgiving, we stayed the whole day at your place and watched foreign movies and ate pasta. Three. On our first date, we sat in your car until 3am just... talking. Four. When my sister really wanted that new Pokemon game and my local Walmart sold out, you voluntarily drove almost 5 towns over just so she could get it because you knew I couldn't for her. Five. The first time we had *** I cried. I still don't know why. You held me the whole time. Six. You woke me up with tickets to one of my favorite musicians of all time, for a tour I didn't even know about. Seven. When my dogs died, you stayed up with my the whole night as I cried. Both times. Eight. The first time you kissed me was at a gas pump at 10pm after I changed out of my blouse and into my hoodie. Nine. You took me to Buffalo Wild Wings even though you're a vegetarian. You even put up with my singing each 2008 Billboard Top 100 song as it played. I could tell you were embarrassed for me, but you laughed and kissed me anyway. Ten. When I told you I hadn't been to the art museum, you took me. When I told you I'd never been to Chipotle, you took me. When I told you I hadn't felt safe in years, you made me feel the safest I ever have. Eleven. After you kissed me the first time, you admitted the thing that "made" you kiss me was my purple-stained lips after I ate Superman ice cream while belting out songs terribly and sitting in the passenger seat of your car. Twelve. When I told you that you were a terrible tipper and I was a waitress, you immediately stopped tipping terribly. Thirteen. You left me a voicemail telling me you appreciated me, that you felt lucky to have me, and you claimed you didn't deserve me. While I disagree, I felt it. That was the first time I heard you say "I love you" before you had actually said the words "I love you."
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Nov 30, 2016
Nov 30, 2016 at 11:27 PM UTC
13 Ways You Said "I Love You" Without Actually Saying "I Love You"
One. When my mom found us asleep in my bed at 4am and screamed at you to 'Get the **** OUT of her house,' you texted me the very next morning and asked to see me as though it never even happened. Two. When my family went out of town without me for Thanksgiving, we stayed the whole day at your place and watched foreign movies and ate pasta. Three. On our first date, we sat in your car until 3am just... talking. Four. When my sister really wanted that new Pokemon game and my local Walmart sold out, you voluntarily drove almost 5 towns over just so she could get it because you knew I couldn't for her. Five. The first time we had *** I cried. I still don't know why. You held me the whole time. Six. You woke me up with tickets to one of my favorite musicians of all time, for a tour I didn't even know about. Seven. When my dogs died, you stayed up with my the whole night as I cried. Both times. Eight. The first time you kissed me was at a gas pump at 10pm after I changed out of my blouse and into my hoodie. Nine. You took me to Buffalo Wild Wings even though you're a vegetarian. You even put up with my singing each 2008 Billboard Top 100 song as it played. I could tell you were embarrassed for me, but you laughed and kissed me anyway. Ten. When I told you I hadn't been to the art museum, you took me. When I told you I'd never been to Chipotle, you took me. When I told you I hadn't felt safe in years, you made me feel the safest I ever have. Eleven. After you kissed me the first time, you admitted the thing that "made" you kiss me was my purple-stained lips after I ate Superman ice cream while belting out songs terribly and sitting in the passenger seat of your car. Twelve. When I told you that you were a terrible tipper and I was a waitress, you immediately stopped tipping terribly. Thirteen. You left me a voicemail telling me you appreciated me, that you felt lucky to have me, and you claimed you didn't deserve me. While I disagree, I felt it. That was the first time I heard you say "I love you" before you had actually said the words "I love you."
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26
not much chance, completely cut loose from purpose, he was a young man riding a bus through North Carolina on the wat to somewhere and it began to snow and the bus stopped at a little cafe in the hills and the passengers entered. he sat at the counter with the others, he ordered and the food arived. the meal was particularly good and the coffee. the waitress was unlike the women he had known. she was unaffected, there was a natural humor which came from her. the fry cook said crazy things. the dishwasher. in back, laughed, a good clean pleasant laugh. the young man watched the snow through the windows. he wanted to stay in that cafe forever. the curious feeling swam through him that everything was beautiful there, that it would always stay beautiful there. then the bus driver told the passengers that it was time to board. the young man thought, I'll just sit here, I'll just stay here. but then he rose and followed the others into the bus. he found his seat and looked at the cafe through the bus window. then the bus moved off, down a curve, downward, out of the hills. the young man looked straight foreward. he heard the other passengers speaking of other things, or they were reading or attempting to sleep. they had not noticed the magic. the young man put his head to one side, closed his eyes, pretended to sleep. there was nothing else to do- just to listen to the sound of the engine, the sound of the tires in the snow.
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12.4k
Nirvana
She left Reno in a satin slip the color of hot coins pouring from slots, wearing chewed-up tennis shoes, mirrors multiplying her, the marquee burning out letter by letter, a hush pressed between her teeth as if saving the last note. I followed, a gangly shadow, mother’s voice in my ear: "life is not a freeway exit." But she was the exit. She drove west through a glittering throat. In Tonopah she was a waitress, red stains on her wrists, sleeves tugged low, coffee pouring thin as blood. In Barstow she was a sun-bleached Madonna, halo blistered, mouth lit in stained glass. At a gas station in Needles shimmering into a coyote’s shadow and slipped behind the pumps. Then movement along the fence, low, quick— gone again. Casinos blinked like electric relics. Truckers called her sugar, greedy hands counting her ribs as if she was the paycheck sweating in their fist, but she slipped away each time, her silhouette already moulting- a serpent skin, a smoke-trail, a saint’s shadow burning off the wall. By Malibu, the night had softened to velvet. The pier at Zuma leaned into the Pacific like a broken bridge. She sang to me— low, cracked— then let the slip fall. Her body cut into the dark tide, no disguise. I waded in after her, ankles bruised by rock. Water lit with jellyfish, each pulse a warning. I stopped where it deepened, felt the pull take hold. No exit left, just the Pacific’s mouth closing around her.
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Sep 1, 2025
Sep 1, 2025 at 8:08 PM UTC
Dust Madonna
having the low down blues and going into a restraunt to eat. you sit at a table. the waitress smiles at you. she's dumpy. her *** is too big. she radiates kindess and symphaty. live with her 3 months and a man would no real agony. o.k., you'll tip her 15 percent. you order a turkey sandwich and a beer. the man at the table across from you has watery blue eyes and a head like an elephant. at a table further down are 3 men with very tiny heads and long necks like ostiches. they talk loudly of land development. why, you think, did I ever come in here when I have the low-down blues? then the the waitress comes back eith the sandwich and she asks you if there will be anything else? snd you tell her, no no, this will be fine. then somebody behind you laughs. it's a cork laugh filled with sand and broken glass. you begin eating the sandwhich. it's something. it's a minor, difficult, sensible action like composing a popular song to make a 14-year old weep. you order another beer. jesus,look at that guy his hands hang down almost to his knees and he's whistling. well, time to get out. pivk up the bill. tip. go to the register. pay. pick up a toothpick. go out the door. your car is still there. and there are 3 men with heads and necks like ostriches all getting into one car. they each have a toothpick and now they are talking about women. they drive away first they drive away fast. they're best i guess. it's an unberably hot day. there's a first-stage smog alert. all the birds and plants are dead or dying. you start the engine.
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11.1k
Another Day
having the low down blues and going into a restraunt to eat. you sit at a table. the waitress smiles at you. she's dumpy. her *** is too big. she radiates kindess and symphaty. live with her 3 months and a man would no real agony. o.k., you'll tip her 15 percent. you order a turkey sandwich and a beer. the man at the table across from you has watery blue eyes and a head like an elephant. at a table further down are 3 men with very tiny heads and long necks like ostiches. they talk loudly of land development. why, you think, did I ever come in here when I have the low-down blues? then the the waitress comes back eith the sandwich and she asks you if there will be anything else? snd you tell her, no no, this will be fine. then somebody behind you laughs. it's a cork laugh filled with sand and broken glass. you begin eating the sandwhich. it's something. it's a minor, difficult, sensible action like composing a popular song to make a 14-year old weep. you order another beer. jesus,look at that guy his hands hang down almost to his knees and he's whistling. well, time to get out. pivk up the bill. tip. go to the register. pay. pick up a toothpick. go out the door. your car is still there. and there are 3 men with heads and necks like ostriches all getting into one car. they each have a toothpick and now they are talking about women. they drive away first they drive away fast. they're best i guess. it's an unberably hot day. there's a first-stage smog alert. all the birds and plants are dead or dying. you start the engine.
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62
poetry readings have to be some of the saddest ****** things ever, the gathering of the clansmen and clanladies, week after week, month after month, year after year, getting old together, reading on to tiny gatherings, still hoping their genius will be discovered, making tapes together, discs together, sweating for applause they read basically to and for each other, they can't find a New York publisher or one within miles, but they read on and on in the poetry holes of America, never daunted, never considering the possibility that their talent might be thin, almost invisible, they read on and on before their mothers, their sisters, their husbands, their wives, their friends, the other poets and the handful of idiots who have wandered in from nowhere. I am ashamed for them, I am ashamed that they have to bolster each other, I am ashamed for their lisping egos, their lack of guts. if these are our creators, please, please give me something else: a drunken plumber at a bowling alley, a prelim boy in a four rounder, a **** guiding his horse through along the rail, a bartender on last call, a waitress pouring me a coffee, a drunk sleeping in a deserted doorway, a dog munching a dry bone, an elephant's **** in a circus tent, a 6 p.m. freeway crush, the mailman telling a ***** joke anything anything but these.
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7.7k
poetry readings
Cue the banjo solos and the violin swells. Sleeping children in withering weeping willow high chairs covered in creamed carrots. Young cherry blossom lovers shout curses, shatter floodgates, let tears flow; petals are brushed away by the wind. Widows and over-easy eggs, crossword puzzles and sad irony on fifteen across - "Murdered, 'Ides of March.'" The weight of their fatigue growing dark and heavy under their eyes. A waitress breaks silence, "More coffee?" A sleeping child awakes, crying under the brightness of the morning sun.
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Mar 11, 2015
Mar 11, 2015 at 3:18 PM UTC
Americana Breakfast
Lipstick cigarettes and the empty soul of modern rock n' roll laid in ruin amongst my collection of black soul addictions and sultry benedictions. MIDI saxophones and an ex-girlfriend on the telephone directing me to find my home, to rebuild the comb, to banish the bartender and the Reverend ****** Alamo idiot stand and a neon Jesus waving newcomers into the whitewashed port town known as "Cuba North". At the Caged Gorilla, Linda, the waitress, laughs through yellowed teeth, while my bloodshot eyes crawl up her red gums. Binge'd and my brain keeps parallel with the ceiling fan while a plain clothes cop tries to give me the reprimand for nostalgic mischiefs. Handcuffed and looking for that old fiend, Freedom, while Miranda spews on the back of my skull, slides down my shoulders, dots the cement. Out the door and tourists with cameras looking for evil behind my irises, but I can assure my handshakes feel the same, I'm front pew tame, and I blend with the parade.
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Jan 12, 2012
Jan 12, 2012 at 7:13 PM UTC
Caged Gorilla
Cola and Crown Cola and Crown Burns coming up But, smooth going down Cola and Crown Cola and Crown Burns coming up But, smooth gong down Sitting at the tavern Needed courage Drank four shots Downed them in six seconds Now, I didn't feel so hot Stumbled to the dance floor Room was spinning So was I Four shots in just six seconds Felt like I was gonna die Waitress pushed on by me Saw that I had paid my dues Four shots in just six seconds I threw up on her new shoes Cola and Crown Cola and Crown Burns coming up But, smooth going down Cola and Crown Cola and Crown Burns coming up But, smooth gong down She screamed and i just wobbled Then she socked me with her tray She gave me four shots in six seconds Now, on the floor I lay From now on when I'm drinking I'm drinking beer, no matter what I've got two black eyes to show me Four in six ain't that hot
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Apr 11, 2015
Apr 11, 2015 at 1:19 PM UTC
cola and crown
I’m just trying to eat my french toast and drink my coffee but you keep cutting me off as I’m about to take a sip take a bite asking why I like it with sugar i add a spoonful of creamer and you’re laughing but not in a loving way talking about my schoolwork and my plans for the garden and you skip over the congratulations and mention your ex girlfriend going on about your ex girlfriend and my face has hardened i drink my coffee and try not to listen i eat my french toast and i don’t pay attention i’m looking at the man with the book eating alone i’m looking at the waitress wishing she were home excuse me and i’m up the bathroom is empty and nobody saw me the mirror is clean and i am ***** the lights are brighter than i want them to be and the soap dispenser is empty
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Mar 22, 2019
Mar 22, 2019 at 10:26 AM UTC
and again with the smug *******
hookah connection relaxing, thought provoking. the waitress is cute
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Dec 24, 2011
Dec 24, 2011 at 2:18 AM UTC
hookah
we're on a break, meaning we catharsis **** often in public places, often with an edge of violence, much like the session in the family restroom, here at Big Daddy's Bar-B-Que (travesty, travesty). still waiting for Em to to finish "tidying up." and the brisket is salty. or it's the leftovers from her forehead. she should have cut her fingernails. thinking of a way to hide the blood trails running wild on the back of my t-shirt. catharsis, she says. it's healthy, she says. Elvis croons over the arcane stereo system and a white-haired woman with gelatinous arms taps her fingers on the tabletop along to "Teddy Bear." the waitress keeps a hawk's eye on my half-empty/half-full glass of water. and I'm afraid to take a drink. here comes Em. she's an athlete. and we're on a break, meaning we don't see each other's parents. don't nod and listen. and don't say things like, "oh yeah, your sister Sarah. how's she?" hallelujah, hallelujah. Em played point guard in high school. her last official sporting endeavor. but twenty minutes ago she told me to look up a complicated position via iKamastutra on my phone because she's an athlete, and I'd be "amazed at what this machine [her body] can do." but I hate when she says **** like that. catering to an I'm-almost-certain-peg of my fantasy. harder, harder and before I finish, she insists on swallowing and it makes me uncomfortable but we're on break, and to argue would be a crucifixion to this "vacation." I think about Elvis. and wonder if any woman is still alive that swallowed his *** and when it's down to just one, does that mean anything? "well that was fun," Em says. her mascara wasted. the brisket is salty. I take a generous drink of water. I hear the sound of breaking glass. the waitress has busted a bottle of ketchup in her rush to refill my 2/3rds empty cup. "mazel tov," I say.
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Jan 31, 2013
Jan 31, 2013 at 7:57 PM UTC
#nsfw
we're on a break, meaning we catharsis **** often in public places, often with an edge of violence, much like the session in the family restroom, here at Big Daddy's Bar-B-Que (travesty, travesty). still waiting for Em to to finish "tidying up." and the brisket is salty. or it's the leftovers from her forehead. she should have cut her fingernails. thinking of a way to hide the blood trails running wild on the back of my t-shirt. catharsis, she says. it's healthy, she says. Elvis croons over the arcane stereo system and a white-haired woman with gelatinous arms taps her fingers on the tabletop along to "Teddy Bear." the waitress keeps a hawk's eye on my half-empty/half-full glass of water. and I'm afraid to take a drink. here comes Em. she's an athlete. and we're on a break, meaning we don't see each other's parents. don't nod and listen. and don't say things like, "oh yeah, your sister Sarah. how's she?" hallelujah, hallelujah. Em played point guard in high school. her last official sporting endeavor. but twenty minutes ago she told me to look up a complicated position via iKamastutra on my phone because she's an athlete, and I'd be "amazed at what this machine [her body] can do." but I hate when she says **** like that. catering to an I'm-almost-certain-peg of my fantasy. harder, harder and before I finish, she insists on swallowing and it makes me uncomfortable but we're on break, and to argue would be a crucifixion to this "vacation." I think about Elvis. and wonder if any woman is still alive that swallowed his *** and when it's down to just one, does that mean anything? "well that was fun," Em says. her mascara wasted. the brisket is salty. I take a generous drink of water. I hear the sound of breaking glass. the waitress has busted a bottle of ketchup in her rush to refill my 2/3rds empty cup. "mazel tov," I say.
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59
I am not just like my mother or father I am just like me I am an individual I am all I want to be Society defines us By what job we tend to do one hundred and sixty hours a week I walk in my own shoes I may have a waitress job I may live in a council flat I may not be as rich as you But what is wrong with that? I am me, I am many things I am a girlfriend, I am a mother I live life the way I choose and I am like no other I am a poet, a traveller I am open minded and free I am blessed with many friends I am as happy as can be
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Aug 18, 2011
Aug 18, 2011 at 4:18 PM UTC
I am happy to be me
Pretty Little Cup Cake Store: I walk through the door. Somehow I think it will Cheer me up. A white iced-pink sprinkled cupcake Will help me forget. While unwrapping the trendy black and  baby blue doted baking paper Will bring back the past again. But, even I know it is a ruse A joke I play on myself. You know the owners are some super hot soccer moms whose family invested in their latest project. Those **** bakers with pretty white aprons And size two retro-pink waitress uniforms; Smiling and cooing at the lavender infused cake That makes this treat go down so smooth. A gluten-free icing with a garnish of kumquat. This will land their pictures on the local news. I am not a size two. I will just as soon eat a nutty-buddy by Little Debbie But, this trendy cupcake cafe, makes me feel I am one of those Pretty ladies in the retro pink waitress uniform. Kinda like a celebration, for a party of one. I am not a hot pretty stick chick I will buy four, five or six of those pretty cupcakes. Pretending I am buying a hostess gift. But, the truth..... My husband forgot that we married 8 years ago this day. I will pay too much for too little product: but the cake box is cute I will sit in my car Eating, till my teeth hurt. I will rationalize; that I will cleanse tomorrow. I will go home. He will ask how I am, while staring at the TV. "Shussh" he will say, "I'm trying to hear." There is no use to remind him He will play the tired "I'm-in-the-dog-house game." I prefer stuffing four, five or six pretty little cupcakes Into my mouth then listening To his tired apologies, weak little lies and false promises of a planned Surprise. Instead; I will go to my room; then my private bath: I will stick my fingers down my throat And cough up my life.
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Apr 5, 2016
Apr 5, 2016 at 7:27 PM UTC
Pretty Little Cupcakes
Pretty Little Cup Cake Store: I walk through the door. Somehow I think it will Cheer me up. A white iced-pink sprinkled cupcake Will help me forget. While unwrapping the trendy black and  baby blue doted baking paper Will bring back the past again. But, even I know it is a ruse A joke I play on myself. You know the owners are some super hot soccer moms whose family invested in their latest project. Those **** bakers with pretty white aprons And size two retro-pink waitress uniforms; Smiling and cooing at the lavender infused cake That makes this treat go down so smooth. A gluten-free icing with a garnish of kumquat. This will land their pictures on the local news. I am not a size two. I will just as soon eat a nutty-buddy by Little Debbie But, this trendy cupcake cafe, makes me feel I am one of those Pretty ladies in the retro pink waitress uniform. Kinda like a celebration, for a party of one. I am not a hot pretty stick chick I will buy four, five or six of those pretty cupcakes. Pretending I am buying a hostess gift. But, the truth..... My husband forgot that we married 8 years ago this day. I will pay too much for too little product: but the cake box is cute I will sit in my car Eating, till my teeth hurt. I will rationalize; that I will cleanse tomorrow. I will go home. He will ask how I am, while staring at the TV. "Shussh" he will say, "I'm trying to hear." There is no use to remind him He will play the tired "I'm-in-the-dog-house game." I prefer stuffing four, five or six pretty little cupcakes Into my mouth then listening To his tired apologies, weak little lies and false promises of a planned Surprise. Instead; I will go to my room; then my private bath: I will stick my fingers down my throat And cough up my life.
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44
Sittin’ on the beach, in Cancun Suns overhead it, must be noon Don’t really know ain't been to sleep My souls on ice, I guess it’ll keep My Costa’s are filtering out the sun I seem to be suffering from too much fun Only one cure, I need another drink Maybe then my clouded brain can think Summer time in old Mexico Have a good time when we go Drinking and smoking and having fun Swimming and snorkeling, soaking up the sun Bikini clad waitress, strolls the line Cuba Libre please, don’t forget the lime Swaying cheeks, a pleasure to see Maybe later on, just her and me I can’t wait, slowly follow to the bar Panama hat and a Cuban Cigar Strolling along, while I watch her sway Can only imagine, if I had my way Summer time in old Mexico Have a good time when we go Drinking and smoking and having fun Swimming and snorkeling, soaking up the sun Puffing smoke, we arrive at the bar The bartender winks, I stuff a tip in her jar Hands me my drink, I squeeze the lime Having so much fun it’s bound to be a crime Mexican girls and ******* tourists Equal opportunity, hey! I’m no purist Seeing the sights, and doing well Summer beach, and I'm feeling swell Yeah, summer beach, im'a feelin' swell feelin' swell.... Aaaaaaarrrriiiiibaaaaa
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Sep 17, 2016
Sep 17, 2016 at 10:52 PM UTC
Panama Hat and a Cuban Cigar
Where you going? What d’ya see? A hundred thousand polka dots A comin’ after me Polka dots and tater tots And french fried onion skins A priest in a confession booth Forgivin’ all our sins Two or three gorillas And an elephant in the room Someone tell the maitre’ d He’d best be leavin’ soon Cuz the waiter and the waitress Have figured out the plot And if he hangs around much longer He’s liable to be shot By a psychopathic mushroom Or a ****** off pizza pie While the rabid rocket scientist Wonders how he got that high The ********** with bedroom eyes Looks the other way, and The specialist in pantomime Does not know what to say. A hundred thousand looks at love Not a single one survives Yet, with regret and toil and sweat We go on with our lives. pwl 5/20/15
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May 21, 2015
May 21, 2015 at 11:46 PM UTC
Polka Dots and Tater Tots
There are three versions of this poem. only one of them is available on the internet. This first version is from the New Yorker in a 1941 issue. It is the earliest version and the one that is quoted all over the internet. To My Valentine     by Ogden Nash (1902-1971) More than a catbird hates a cat, Or a criminal hates a clue, Or the Axis hates the United States, That's how much I love you. I love you more than a duck can swim, And more than a grapefruit squirts, I love you more than gin rummy is a bore, And more than a toothache hurts. As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea, Or a juggler hates a shove, As a hostess detests unexpected guests, That's how much you I love. I love you more than a wasp can sting, And more than the subway jerks, I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch, And more than a hangnail irks. I swear to you by the stars above, And below, if such there be, As the High Court loathes perjurious oaths, That's how you're loved by me. The next version is the lyric of a song from the Broadway musical "One Touch of Venus" (1943) by Ogden Nash, J S Perelman and Kurt Weill. Nash wrote this lyric. It is not on the internet that I could find. I got it from the sheet music. HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU More than a catbird hates a cat, Or a criminal hates a clue, Or the Axis hates the United States, That's how much I love you. As a sailor's sweetheart hates the sea, Or a juggler hates a shove, As a wife detests unexpected guests, That's how much you I love. I love you more than a wasp can sting, And more than a hangnail hurts. I love you more than commercials are a bore, And more than a grapefruit squirts. I swear to you by the stars above, And below, if such there be, As a bride would resent a blessed event, That's how you are loved by me. More than a waitress hates to wait , Or a lioness hates the zoo, Or a batter dislikes those called third strikes, That's how much I love you. As much as a lifeguard hates to swim, Or a writer hates to read, As Hays office frowns on low cut gowns, That's how much you I need. I love you more than a hive can itch, And more than a chilblain chills. I yearn for you in an ivy clad igloo, As a liver yearns for pills. I swear to you by the stars above, And below, if such there be, As a dachshund abhors revolving doors, That's how you are loved by me. The third is from the book "Marriage Lines: notes of a student husband" It was published in 1964 and contains a revised version of the poem with a much different ending. This too is not on the internet. I got it from the book. TO MY VALENTINE More than a catbird hates a cat, Or a criminal hates a clue, Or an odalisque hates the Sultan's mates, That's how much I love you. I love you more than a duck can swim, And more than a grapefruit squirts, I love you more than commercials are a bore, And more than a toothache hurts. As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea, Or a juggler hates a shove, As a hostess detests unexpected guests, That's how much you I love. I love you more than a wasp can sting, And more than the subway jerks, I love you truer than a toper loves a brewer, And more than a hangnail irks. I love you more than a bronco bucks, Or a Yale man cheers the Blue. Ask not what is this thing called love; It's what I'm in with you.
0
Feb 14, 2018
Feb 14, 2018 at 2:51 PM UTC
TO MY VALENTINE Ogdon Nash three versions
There are three versions of this poem. only one of them is available on the internet. This first version is from the New Yorker in a 1941 issue. It is the earliest version and the one that is quoted all over the internet. To My Valentine     by Ogden Nash (1902-1971) More than a catbird hates a cat, Or a criminal hates a clue, Or the Axis hates the United States, That's how much I love you. I love you more than a duck can swim, And more than a grapefruit squirts, I love you more than gin rummy is a bore, And more than a toothache hurts. As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea, Or a juggler hates a shove, As a hostess detests unexpected guests, That's how much you I love. I love you more than a wasp can sting, And more than the subway jerks, I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch, And more than a hangnail irks. I swear to you by the stars above, And below, if such there be, As the High Court loathes perjurious oaths, That's how you're loved by me. The next version is the lyric of a song from the Broadway musical "One Touch of Venus" (1943) by Ogden Nash, J S Perelman and Kurt Weill. Nash wrote this lyric. It is not on the internet that I could find. I got it from the sheet music. HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU More than a catbird hates a cat, Or a criminal hates a clue, Or the Axis hates the United States, That's how much I love you. As a sailor's sweetheart hates the sea, Or a juggler hates a shove, As a wife detests unexpected guests, That's how much you I love. I love you more than a wasp can sting, And more than a hangnail hurts. I love you more than commercials are a bore, And more than a grapefruit squirts. I swear to you by the stars above, And below, if such there be, As a bride would resent a blessed event, That's how you are loved by me. More than a waitress hates to wait , Or a lioness hates the zoo, Or a batter dislikes those called third strikes, That's how much I love you. As much as a lifeguard hates to swim, Or a writer hates to read, As Hays office frowns on low cut gowns, That's how much you I need. I love you more than a hive can itch, And more than a chilblain chills. I yearn for you in an ivy clad igloo, As a liver yearns for pills. I swear to you by the stars above, And below, if such there be, As a dachshund abhors revolving doors, That's how you are loved by me. The third is from the book "Marriage Lines: notes of a student husband" It was published in 1964 and contains a revised version of the poem with a much different ending. This too is not on the internet. I got it from the book. TO MY VALENTINE More than a catbird hates a cat, Or a criminal hates a clue, Or an odalisque hates the Sultan's mates, That's how much I love you. I love you more than a duck can swim, And more than a grapefruit squirts, I love you more than commercials are a bore, And more than a toothache hurts. As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea, Or a juggler hates a shove, As a hostess detests unexpected guests, That's how much you I love. I love you more than a wasp can sting, And more than the subway jerks, I love you truer than a toper loves a brewer, And more than a hangnail irks. I love you more than a bronco bucks, Or a Yale man cheers the Blue. Ask not what is this thing called love; It's what I'm in with you.
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79
And I always find, yeah, I always find something wrong You been putting up with my **** just way too long I'm so gifted at finding what I don't like the most So I think it's time for us to have a toast Let's have a toast for the ********** Let's have a toast for the ******** Let's have a toast for the scumbags Every one of them that I know Let's have a toast for the jerk-offs That'll never take work off Baby, I got a plan Run away fast as you can [Verse 1: Kanye West] She find pictures in my e-mail I sent this ***** a picture of my **** I don't know what it is with females But I'm not too good with that **** See, I could have me a good girl And still be addicted to them hoodrats And I just blame everything on you At least you know that's what I'm good at [Hook] [Bridge] Run away from me, baby, run away Run away from me, baby, run away It's about to get crazy, why can't she just, run away? Baby, I got a plan, run away fast as you can [Verse 2 - Pusha T] 24/7, 365, ***** stays on my mind I-I-I-I did it, all right, all right, I admit it Now pick your next move, you could leave or live wit' it Ichabod Crane with that ************* top off Split and go where? Back to wearing knockoffs, haha Knock it off, Neiman's, shop it off Let's talk over mai tais, waitress, top it off Hoes like vultures, wanna fly in your Freddy loafers You can't blame 'em, they ain't never seen Versace sofas Every bag, every blouse, every bracelet Comes with a price tag, baby, face it You should leave if you can't accept the basics Plenty hoes in the balla-nigga matrix Invisibly set, the Rolex is faceless I'm just young, rich, and tasteless P! [Verse 3: Kanye West] Never was much of a romantic I could never take the intimacy And I know I did damage Cause the look in your eyes is killing me I guess you are at an advantage Cause you can blame me for everything And I don't know how I'mma manage If one day you just up and leave
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Dec 2, 2013
Dec 2, 2013 at 12:30 PM UTC
Runaway
And I always find, yeah, I always find something wrong You been putting up with my **** just way too long I'm so gifted at finding what I don't like the most So I think it's time for us to have a toast Let's have a toast for the ********** Let's have a toast for the ******** Let's have a toast for the scumbags Every one of them that I know Let's have a toast for the jerk-offs That'll never take work off Baby, I got a plan Run away fast as you can [Verse 1: Kanye West] She find pictures in my e-mail I sent this ***** a picture of my **** I don't know what it is with females But I'm not too good with that **** See, I could have me a good girl And still be addicted to them hoodrats And I just blame everything on you At least you know that's what I'm good at [Hook] [Bridge] Run away from me, baby, run away Run away from me, baby, run away It's about to get crazy, why can't she just, run away? Baby, I got a plan, run away fast as you can [Verse 2 - Pusha T] 24/7, 365, ***** stays on my mind I-I-I-I did it, all right, all right, I admit it Now pick your next move, you could leave or live wit' it Ichabod Crane with that ************* top off Split and go where? Back to wearing knockoffs, haha Knock it off, Neiman's, shop it off Let's talk over mai tais, waitress, top it off Hoes like vultures, wanna fly in your Freddy loafers You can't blame 'em, they ain't never seen Versace sofas Every bag, every blouse, every bracelet Comes with a price tag, baby, face it You should leave if you can't accept the basics Plenty hoes in the balla-nigga matrix Invisibly set, the Rolex is faceless I'm just young, rich, and tasteless P! [Verse 3: Kanye West] Never was much of a romantic I could never take the intimacy And I know I did damage Cause the look in your eyes is killing me I guess you are at an advantage Cause you can blame me for everything And I don't know how I'mma manage If one day you just up and leave
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53
It’s early Friday afternoon and, over plates of greasy spoon dinner, the musician and the businessman repeat their weekly ritual. The businessman has his problems at home and spills his guts to his musician friend. “It’s been a real long time coming, but she’s still been such a bitter ***** They’ve met this way since their college days and nights spent studying the bottoms of whiskey bottles. And, as usual, the businessman’s hair sits sprawled on his head like a rag, and his tie is loosened. The musician doesn’t understand divorce: “You look like hell. You know, if you need a place to stay, Helen and I and the boy can always make some room for you.” They light a pair of cigarettes and wait for a waitress to kick them out. Into the haze of a Lower East Side crowd the musician and his band play his newest pieces, riffs on the happy swagger of the Duke. His critics— and he has many— write that his jazz sings the inescapable *********** of suffering through the life of every oblivious body, which makes the musician’s music sound more like the blues than jazz. But it’s jazz all the same and perhaps it was the intensity of the growling bass that shot spirits down the throats in the audience, reeling drunk in time to the beat of the musical suffering. The weekdays die and it is Friday again. He has a big view of midtown, the businessman, and though the window the falling sun horizons over his socked toes, parked on his desk in triumph over all those stockholders. It’s a pain to lose your family, but the businessman puts on a good face, and drinks. This Friday, the musician and the businessman are not in the mood for talking. But a scotch thrown down, and the two are tighter than thieves. The businessman complains of life at home and the musician’s eyes cross. That night, the musician skips his performance. His wife cries in their bed, shuddering with worry and asking him what makes him so distant? she asks— it’s a mystery even to himself. He is sweating whiskey— which suits him fine— and he spends his night on the bridge. One week later and it is Friday, finally. Today, the businessman will see his children at his former home for the last time for a handful of months at best. The musician has not been home for three days. He stays at a friend’s apartment, puts on his ***** blazer and a record of the Duke’s before he throws himself down the airshaft. The businessman jumps on the 5:44 out of town and calls his friend the musician to cancel their usual Friday meeting, but his phone keeps ringing, ringing, ringing, ringing, ringing.
0
Apr 12, 2010
Apr 12, 2010 at 10:01 PM UTC
The Musician and the Businessman
It’s early Friday afternoon and, over plates of greasy spoon dinner, the musician and the businessman repeat their weekly ritual. The businessman has his problems at home and spills his guts to his musician friend. “It’s been a real long time coming, but she’s still been such a bitter ***** They’ve met this way since their college days and nights spent studying the bottoms of whiskey bottles. And, as usual, the businessman’s hair sits sprawled on his head like a rag, and his tie is loosened. The musician doesn’t understand divorce: “You look like hell. You know, if you need a place to stay, Helen and I and the boy can always make some room for you.” They light a pair of cigarettes and wait for a waitress to kick them out. Into the haze of a Lower East Side crowd the musician and his band play his newest pieces, riffs on the happy swagger of the Duke. His critics— and he has many— write that his jazz sings the inescapable *********** of suffering through the life of every oblivious body, which makes the musician’s music sound more like the blues than jazz. But it’s jazz all the same and perhaps it was the intensity of the growling bass that shot spirits down the throats in the audience, reeling drunk in time to the beat of the musical suffering. The weekdays die and it is Friday again. He has a big view of midtown, the businessman, and though the window the falling sun horizons over his socked toes, parked on his desk in triumph over all those stockholders. It’s a pain to lose your family, but the businessman puts on a good face, and drinks. This Friday, the musician and the businessman are not in the mood for talking. But a scotch thrown down, and the two are tighter than thieves. The businessman complains of life at home and the musician’s eyes cross. That night, the musician skips his performance. His wife cries in their bed, shuddering with worry and asking him what makes him so distant? she asks— it’s a mystery even to himself. He is sweating whiskey— which suits him fine— and he spends his night on the bridge. One week later and it is Friday, finally. Today, the businessman will see his children at his former home for the last time for a handful of months at best. The musician has not been home for three days. He stays at a friend’s apartment, puts on his ***** blazer and a record of the Duke’s before he throws himself down the airshaft. The businessman jumps on the 5:44 out of town and calls his friend the musician to cancel their usual Friday meeting, but his phone keeps ringing, ringing, ringing, ringing, ringing.
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75
The short-order cook and the dishwasher argue the relative merits of Rilke’s Elegies against Eliot’s Four Quartets, but the delivery man who brings eggs suggests they have forgotten Les fleurs du mal and Baudelaire. The waitress carrying three plates and a coffee *** can’t decide whom she loves more— Rimbaud or Verlaine, William Blake or William Wordsworth. She refills the rabbi’s cup (he’s reading Rumi), asks what he thinks of Arthur Whaley. In the booth behind them, a fat woman feeds a small white poodle in her lap, with whom she shares her spoon. "It’s Rexroth’s translations of the Japanese," she says, "that one can’t live without: May those who are born after me Never travel such roads of love." The revolving door proffers a stranger in a long black coat, lost in the madhouse poems of John Clare. As he waits to be seated, the woman who owns the place hands him a menu in which he finds several handwritten poems By Hafiz, Gibran, and Rabindranath Tagore. The lunch hour’s crowded— the owner wonders if the stranger might share my table. As he sits, I put a finger to my lips, and with my eyes ask him to listen with me to the young boy and the young girl two tables away taking turns reading aloud the love poems of Pablo Neruda.
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4.9k
The Diner
*So I went to the campus today, for the first time in a long time. I smoked cigarettes outside of the the lecture hall with some kids from the eastern block whose names I could barely pronounce. They were talking about McCarthyism in a language I couldn't understand - snippets in English - an American history exam. I cut class again, for a reason I can't quite trace, just lost sight of it all I guess. Or maybe I was wishing it could have been a little easier. They never gave us a course in what it means to try, you know? It just seems as if the only thing that stops us from doing the things we love is a fear of failing at them. Thinking about this on the walk home made my head sick and my heart sad, and so sleeping through the rest of the daylight seemed like a good way to get by. I met up with the friend, later in the evening, he was at the local venue. He had his hands in his hoodie and his Adidas were swinging over the side of the stage, head bobbing, and rhyming in time to the beat of an electric bass drum. I asked him to buy me a beer and he slid his last two dollars over the counter like he always does when he notices my lower lip quivering. I didn't ask him about the doctor's and he didn't ask me about my black eye. I told him to tell me the story again, the one about the cool kids he met in the East Village and he did, he told me about the whole encounter in the snow, with the lights, and how badly he was shivering. I smiled that type of smile, the one that ends up with your lips curved the wrong way and wished I would have went with him. The waitress that hates me gave me a ride home again so her uncle could close the place down. I offered her one of those Ukrainian kids' cigarettes that I swiped but she said no thanks, and I was glad I had more. She knew this wasn't going to be the last time she did me a favor, the way my track record was but I like to think she doesn't mind too much. I invited her inside but she said she had to run, maybe next time. She told me to try and hurry up and finish school so I could give her the world, and then she giggled and winked at me before she sped off. Back to bed, I had a long day of bullshitting myself ahead of me when I awoke.*
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Nov 13, 2011
Nov 13, 2011 at 4:11 PM UTC
Can You Make This Easy?
*So I went to the campus today, for the first time in a long time. I smoked cigarettes outside of the the lecture hall with some kids from the eastern block whose names I could barely pronounce. They were talking about McCarthyism in a language I couldn't understand - snippets in English - an American history exam. I cut class again, for a reason I can't quite trace, just lost sight of it all I guess. Or maybe I was wishing it could have been a little easier. They never gave us a course in what it means to try, you know? It just seems as if the only thing that stops us from doing the things we love is a fear of failing at them. Thinking about this on the walk home made my head sick and my heart sad, and so sleeping through the rest of the daylight seemed like a good way to get by. I met up with the friend, later in the evening, he was at the local venue. He had his hands in his hoodie and his Adidas were swinging over the side of the stage, head bobbing, and rhyming in time to the beat of an electric bass drum. I asked him to buy me a beer and he slid his last two dollars over the counter like he always does when he notices my lower lip quivering. I didn't ask him about the doctor's and he didn't ask me about my black eye. I told him to tell me the story again, the one about the cool kids he met in the East Village and he did, he told me about the whole encounter in the snow, with the lights, and how badly he was shivering. I smiled that type of smile, the one that ends up with your lips curved the wrong way and wished I would have went with him. The waitress that hates me gave me a ride home again so her uncle could close the place down. I offered her one of those Ukrainian kids' cigarettes that I swiped but she said no thanks, and I was glad I had more. She knew this wasn't going to be the last time she did me a favor, the way my track record was but I like to think she doesn't mind too much. I invited her inside but she said she had to run, maybe next time. She told me to try and hurry up and finish school so I could give her the world, and then she giggled and winked at me before she sped off. Back to bed, I had a long day of bullshitting myself ahead of me when I awoke.*
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3