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"vonnegut" poems
Sparkling petals slice through feet of wanderers Dashing hopes and slitting tendons Each day she visits Sprinkling books and soda-filled sponges among the wire vines. The sizzles excited her And she smiles in spite of her sizzling feet Pleased in her harmless sabotage. The suffocated earth shutters beneath Layers of circuit boards, damp and rotting Steam rises from the core And crinkles the pages of Jane Austen Dr. Seuss Kurt Vonnegut. Her mother’s journal from pregnancy.
0
Apr 10, 2014
Apr 10, 2014 at 12:51 AM UTC
Outlet Garden
Life can be painless Provided there is sufficient Peacefulness For a dozen or so rituals To be repeated simply Endlessly Your genius does not fail you It allows you to understand the Truth of the situation; Which makes you--at times-- more tragic than ever And your genius, like all geniuses Suffers periodic fits of monumental naïveté Hi-ho Listen: Where is Grace When milk and blood Are about to be added To the composition of the Stinking ping-pong ***** being manufactured In Grand Rapids? Schizophrenia The sound and appearance Of the word fascinates It sounds and looks to me Like a human being Sneezing in a blizzard of Soapflakes This much we know: You made yourself hideously Uncomfortable by not narrowing Your attention to details Of life that were immediately Important And by refusing to believe what Your neighbors believed Hi-ho Let your imagination continue To be the flywheel on the Ramshackle machinery of the truth. But not the ‘awful’ truth The ‘beauty’ in truth Because we are a part Of a system that is very Restless, With people tearing around All the time Every so often, somebody stops to put up A monument Ours is a country where Everybody is expected to Pay his own bills for Everything, And one of the most Expensive things a person Can do is get sick Grace: Because if we stay here We’ll do one of two things (or both!) Build a Commune Or do like Collin Heise did: Make the main thing that we do be this: Move seventy-eight Thousand pounds of olives To Tulsa, Oklahoma Even if we can’t Improve the quality of our surroundings We’ll do our best to make our Insides beautiful instead Piebald Roadtrip-writing, baby Hi-ho You are the turtle able to live anywhere even under water for short periods With your home on your back A particular comfort in Realizing that it so often feels There is no order in the World around us That we must adapt ourselves to The requirements of Chaos instead Remember: We are healthy Only to the extent that Our ideas are Humane To you To me To ourselves To We
0
Jun 17, 2013
Jun 17, 2013 at 9:05 PM UTC
86 Kurt Vonnegut
Life can be painless Provided there is sufficient Peacefulness For a dozen or so rituals To be repeated simply Endlessly Your genius does not fail you It allows you to understand the Truth of the situation; Which makes you--at times-- more tragic than ever And your genius, like all geniuses Suffers periodic fits of monumental naïveté Hi-ho Listen: Where is Grace When milk and blood Are about to be added To the composition of the Stinking ping-pong ***** being manufactured In Grand Rapids? Schizophrenia The sound and appearance Of the word fascinates It sounds and looks to me Like a human being Sneezing in a blizzard of Soapflakes This much we know: You made yourself hideously Uncomfortable by not narrowing Your attention to details Of life that were immediately Important And by refusing to believe what Your neighbors believed Hi-ho Let your imagination continue To be the flywheel on the Ramshackle machinery of the truth. But not the ‘awful’ truth The ‘beauty’ in truth Because we are a part Of a system that is very Restless, With people tearing around All the time Every so often, somebody stops to put up A monument Ours is a country where Everybody is expected to Pay his own bills for Everything, And one of the most Expensive things a person Can do is get sick Grace: Because if we stay here We’ll do one of two things (or both!) Build a Commune Or do like Collin Heise did: Make the main thing that we do be this: Move seventy-eight Thousand pounds of olives To Tulsa, Oklahoma Even if we can’t Improve the quality of our surroundings We’ll do our best to make our Insides beautiful instead Piebald Roadtrip-writing, baby Hi-ho You are the turtle able to live anywhere even under water for short periods With your home on your back A particular comfort in Realizing that it so often feels There is no order in the World around us That we must adapt ourselves to The requirements of Chaos instead Remember: We are healthy Only to the extent that Our ideas are Humane To you To me To ourselves To We
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98
And you left me like a baby flower choking On dust, and loss of future blooming, And tremors like Eos's tears On the stillest vernal pool - It was as if you stole my life and simply Went - or put me on my little sailboat That sang of youth and an hourglass, a Duet composed in the ***** crystal of purgatory, Between my insatiably wild stronghold and The rosy maiden, blushing, full, yet Dumb, willingly deaf to red flags, Praying for a partner to make a golden Lady of the wood and water And light, so warm and shimmering under The forest's pine-down cover - what a Big, hasty mistake, to keep yourself Hollow and blind to the day's good things, to remain a Man alone, wistfully misplacing a love Who showed the loyalty of a crimson kindness, and who Was always singing bliss and beauty and glowing into your ears, So stuffed with lies, bitterness, ideals, and Full like drunken leeches - all this, and the coldness, the stubbornness Of the oldest mule, to stay isolated from my Loving eyes, to make time with our sorrowful Echoes, yours and mine. *vertical quote from Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five
0
Jul 2, 2013
Jul 2, 2013 at 10:26 AM UTC
Weakness
So I am about to be a free man again, to wander where I please. I find the prospect nauseating. I think that tonight is the night I will hang Howard W. Campbell, Jr., for crimes against himself. I know that tonight is the night. They say that a hanging man hears gorgeous music. Too bad that I, like my father, unlike my musical mother, am tone-deaf. All the same, I hope that the tune I am about to hear is not Bing Crosby's 'White Christmas.' Goodbye, cruel world! Auf wiedersehen?
0
Jun 21, 2015
Jun 21, 2015 at 1:02 AM UTC
Mother night by kurt vonnegut
What's happening to hello poetry? I don't need to know when the next soccer game is And if I can watch for free. Only football I know is American like the pride that's in me. My blood doesn't boil the native sounds of my country. Since my  motherland is the Dominican But America my step motherland won custody and raised me, since the age of three. Don't forget is not who made you but who you fed you, who clothed you, who saw your first shot to a basket, who saw your first catch, who kept your body warm when you got another cold, and so on. This is "Breakfast for Champions" Just ask Kurt Vonnegut What's happening to hello Poetry? Show your art Get your due diligence Don't sell us your dreams don't broadcast your business unless is a story, book signing or deal. I don't need a spell to make a girl fall in love. I got these words For and to whom I might propose Love or an indecent occasion of lust. Let my words be the for front on this site but they're second to my actions. Since I don't speak much b'cause my Latin accent. What is happening to hello poetry? Private messages by strangers who don't write or speak words. Claim is urgent and as a poet You know kind hearted, love lost, And so on... You just might want to message their Hotmail. Sad story under prosecution Sad story the relation is abusive Mocking the painful truths of some of us artist. Just wanting a piece of the pie But when I order I even eat the crust and never leave crumbs. Take offense or not I just don't give a ****
0
Aug 12, 2015
Aug 12, 2015 at 7:44 AM UTC
***
What's happening to hello poetry? I don't need to know when the next soccer game is And if I can watch for free. Only football I know is American like the pride that's in me. My blood doesn't boil the native sounds of my country. Since my  motherland is the Dominican But America my step motherland won custody and raised me, since the age of three. Don't forget is not who made you but who you fed you, who clothed you, who saw your first shot to a basket, who saw your first catch, who kept your body warm when you got another cold, and so on. This is "Breakfast for Champions" Just ask Kurt Vonnegut What's happening to hello Poetry? Show your art Get your due diligence Don't sell us your dreams don't broadcast your business unless is a story, book signing or deal. I don't need a spell to make a girl fall in love. I got these words For and to whom I might propose Love or an indecent occasion of lust. Let my words be the for front on this site but they're second to my actions. Since I don't speak much b'cause my Latin accent. What is happening to hello poetry? Private messages by strangers who don't write or speak words. Claim is urgent and as a poet You know kind hearted, love lost, And so on... You just might want to message their Hotmail. Sad story under prosecution Sad story the relation is abusive Mocking the painful truths of some of us artist. Just wanting a piece of the pie But when I order I even eat the crust and never leave crumbs. Take offense or not I just don't give a ****
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30
My Lucifer, unwitting Muse, dog-eared Vonnegut, afrobeatnik third eye, howls escaping from your headphones, wailing about secrets, about infidelity, about analyzing life until there ain’t nothin’ left. Then you shuffle by in your black and white Adidas, hair in twists, wearing the striped sweater of nihilistic intent, quoting the rants of Holden Caulfield in your blog like you never didn’t know him. I never asked to know you, to want who I can’t have when I can’t even love myself. And every fiber Of my being yearns for reciprocation. What is there to return? What is there to feel, you meditate on truth, fallen angel in the parlor of rebellion, blasphemous goodbye, bright and morning star simpering like crickets in the palms of daybreak. Your musicality radiates from subway chatter and overheard profanity down El Camino Real. I take in your ballad at my post office mailbox, in the abandoned echoes of daydream monologues. You’re a philosopher, exploring theory of mind, a cartographer, mapping the labyrinth of your deepest desires. Tell me again about desires, demonstrations of divine sadism. Tell me about human empathy, the animated faces of wordless expression, the metaphysics of free will, my beginning and my end, alpha and omega, my fortress in the land of chic. Blasphemous hustler, let your idealism simmer, your wit, your mojo, I come to you an amateur, a neophyte, a lowly scab in the strike against ignorance. Give me my melody, my song, my one-hit-wonder of all that is cliché and unknown. But I can’t be the other woman, your girlfriend, your aspiring Playboy bunny only 10-bucks-a-throw. Your highness-who-yells- his-ideas-into-the-ears-of-echoes, your every quirk spellbinds me. Each day I wake to your entourage vibrato. I am held captive by your brooding stare, empress of liberal doves. You visit in my dreams when the sky is a force of darkness viewing light through peepholes, your flaws an aphrodisiac, a love drug, a fast hit in the basement from the ecstasy of words.
0
Aug 1, 2012
Aug 1, 2012 at 5:37 AM UTC
Fixation
My Lucifer, unwitting Muse, dog-eared Vonnegut, afrobeatnik third eye, howls escaping from your headphones, wailing about secrets, about infidelity, about analyzing life until there ain’t nothin’ left. Then you shuffle by in your black and white Adidas, hair in twists, wearing the striped sweater of nihilistic intent, quoting the rants of Holden Caulfield in your blog like you never didn’t know him. I never asked to know you, to want who I can’t have when I can’t even love myself. And every fiber Of my being yearns for reciprocation. What is there to return? What is there to feel, you meditate on truth, fallen angel in the parlor of rebellion, blasphemous goodbye, bright and morning star simpering like crickets in the palms of daybreak. Your musicality radiates from subway chatter and overheard profanity down El Camino Real. I take in your ballad at my post office mailbox, in the abandoned echoes of daydream monologues. You’re a philosopher, exploring theory of mind, a cartographer, mapping the labyrinth of your deepest desires. Tell me again about desires, demonstrations of divine sadism. Tell me about human empathy, the animated faces of wordless expression, the metaphysics of free will, my beginning and my end, alpha and omega, my fortress in the land of chic. Blasphemous hustler, let your idealism simmer, your wit, your mojo, I come to you an amateur, a neophyte, a lowly scab in the strike against ignorance. Give me my melody, my song, my one-hit-wonder of all that is cliché and unknown. But I can’t be the other woman, your girlfriend, your aspiring Playboy bunny only 10-bucks-a-throw. Your highness-who-yells- his-ideas-into-the-ears-of-echoes, your every quirk spellbinds me. Each day I wake to your entourage vibrato. I am held captive by your brooding stare, empress of liberal doves. You visit in my dreams when the sky is a force of darkness viewing light through peepholes, your flaws an aphrodisiac, a love drug, a fast hit in the basement from the ecstasy of words.
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36
I grew up in a home where words like "atheist" and "agnostic", if uttered, were shoved under rugs or place mats or quilt-work sentiments reading        "God Bless This Home" And so I too, would hide from those who hid from God. But then amongst the distaste and disregard of things less than God, I Became An Evangelist! Ah, yes! Because whose soul doesn't want to be saved by a thirteen year old with a clever Christian saying on his shirt that's a size too small? But not only that, no. I dragged my friends along with me. We were, in fact, a regular children's crusade. But I was a little bigot. I pushed away those who pushed away God, shocked at the thought that anyone could not believe in what now seems completely unbelievable. I even scorned the science teacher who had the audacity to introduce the evil of evolution. I was on fire. But then the Devil himself put Kurt Vonnegut on my lap. Yes, I accredit my loss of faith to a crazy science fiction writer. At least, he pushed the first domino. And my God, I was afraid. Afraid of feelings of distance Afraid of questions that never seemed to have an answer. Afraid I was losing myself. I struggled with the traditional questions, of course: Why would a benevolent God send good people to hell for not believing? Is he that insecure? If he is omnipotent, wouldn't he know what he was getting into when he created such sinful little ***** Why should we be indicted simply because we were born? How does He expect me to give Him my entire life? Fast forward about four years. I'm eating lunch with my oldest sister, a philosophy major, no less. She tells me how she experienced almost the exact same thing I did. And after an inward struggle of four years, finally I had the courage to admit my Agnosticism to myself. I simply did not know. How could I? But now I'm left to deal with my friends, and most of all my mother. I should not feel guilty for my beliefs, or lack thereof. I am an agnostic. I am a humanist. I am on fire.
0
Sep 16, 2014
Sep 16, 2014 at 7:42 PM UTC
All My Friends Are Christians: The Story of the Closeted Agnostic
I grew up in a home where words like "atheist" and "agnostic", if uttered, were shoved under rugs or place mats or quilt-work sentiments reading        "God Bless This Home" And so I too, would hide from those who hid from God. But then amongst the distaste and disregard of things less than God, I Became An Evangelist! Ah, yes! Because whose soul doesn't want to be saved by a thirteen year old with a clever Christian saying on his shirt that's a size too small? But not only that, no. I dragged my friends along with me. We were, in fact, a regular children's crusade. But I was a little bigot. I pushed away those who pushed away God, shocked at the thought that anyone could not believe in what now seems completely unbelievable. I even scorned the science teacher who had the audacity to introduce the evil of evolution. I was on fire. But then the Devil himself put Kurt Vonnegut on my lap. Yes, I accredit my loss of faith to a crazy science fiction writer. At least, he pushed the first domino. And my God, I was afraid. Afraid of feelings of distance Afraid of questions that never seemed to have an answer. Afraid I was losing myself. I struggled with the traditional questions, of course: Why would a benevolent God send good people to hell for not believing? Is he that insecure? If he is omnipotent, wouldn't he know what he was getting into when he created such sinful little ***** Why should we be indicted simply because we were born? How does He expect me to give Him my entire life? Fast forward about four years. I'm eating lunch with my oldest sister, a philosophy major, no less. She tells me how she experienced almost the exact same thing I did. And after an inward struggle of four years, finally I had the courage to admit my Agnosticism to myself. I simply did not know. How could I? But now I'm left to deal with my friends, and most of all my mother. I should not feel guilty for my beliefs, or lack thereof. I am an agnostic. I am a humanist. I am on fire.
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62
— for the American Mustang Strung up on one leg, bled dry while alive, unloaded off trailers crammed full of the crippled and blind —mares giving birth on three legs, foals trampled by stallions, and a wave of fear hovering over tossing manes like the sea after Moby **** surfaced for the first time. Last year, 135,000 horses died — rounded up in hundreds and sent off to slaughter like feeder goldfish, three stops from Canada or Cabo, displaced from plains once revered for their livelihood. In 1969, Vonnegut wrote, “And so it goes…” In 2061, our children will ask about the wild horses who used to live in their backyards as they catch the last fireflies and bottle them up in jars, flickering and dying like tired bulbs giving up on electricity — 2015 sees Henderson, Nevada grasses paying tribute to power-plant-lines and a suburb built on Tralfamadore fiction: house-mounds and picket fences caging domesticated dogs, curb-lined streets and caution signs, billboard warnings of humanity’s fixation with progression, combined like coffee with an overabundance of half-and-half and too much sugar — only 99 cents at Dunkin down a little ways, and home to the dreamers who forget the word freedom.
0
Apr 27, 2015
Apr 27, 2015 at 4:05 PM UTC
Slaughterhouse 2015
After smoking my first pack Of cigarettes (Cheyenne Cherries, $2.09 at Marathon) The novelty wore off pretty quick. It didn’t feel cool anymore, Didn’t make me feel important. The cigarette was just something To stick between my fingers, **** between my lips, Inhale and feel something (feel Hell) In my lungs. A prop. It was just a stick With a red, smoldering **** A piece of tobacco To play with before the ember Ate way down to the filter And singed my fingertips. Now, I think I light up (Cheyenne Cherries, $2.09 at Marathon) Because the smoke is so ******* enticing. It’s beautiful, A kinesthetic work of art (like a ballet), The way those silver Tendrils curl so languidly From the tip into the air, So graceful, so smooth. When I smoke I can’t help but to imagine I’m watching a group of dancers. Or something. And I think I light up (Cheyenne Cherries, $2.09 at Marathon) Because there’s nothing better to do Half the time and at least It flouts the boredom (for a few minutes or so), At least it interrupts the Relentless monotony of Life. Kurt Vonnegut mentioned Something about smoking Being a noble form of suicide. Well, so it goes.
0
Oct 18, 2010
Oct 18, 2010 at 11:32 AM UTC
Thank You, K.V., Jr.
Maturity is knowing what your limitations are…(my daily chore) <> “Maturity is knowing what your limitations are. Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.” Kurt Vonnegut <> maturity comes when you cannot, even try, to fool oneself, indeed, you preposterousness, make you laugh hardest at your very, fully owned, selfhood preening mirror disguise Is this a poem, a lamentation, a pithy regurgitation of Vonnegut, and you say: “Don’t care, it’s words that gotta come out, be released to empty the heart” a daily excess removal of that daily overflow of the days first words when new day light and nighttime’s REM sleep overlap, and the music starts of a life time of favorites, and like a pleasant thorn direct into your temples brain, the leaking, then the spilling spirals unstoppable onto the pages, and the first true relieving exhalation comes with the excited exorcism of the stones of your life, come outside your body and there is a freshly born stripe upon your face, not yet a scar for it is yet to ripen by healing, but it is your creature for loving…and it is good company with so many prior guests who have checked in, stayed for a moment’s observation, departed after getting an extended checkout time, joining the many who came and went, disappearing in to the internet’s ether, where we one will join them eventually, though you smile at that thought, cause you’re mature enough, baby, an all growled up dude, to know that when you reached that stage, you will be, non-stop laughing at *** serious you imagined you were, and wondering out loud why it took so long to recognize that mirrored visage as one big ole fool with a smile upon his face… p.s so much for that promise to take a break from beating yourself up, but you know what, it is pleasing, in that way when upon the grand occasion of waking up to another unexpected day of living deserves a deep, but rueful, laugh out loud and others’ look at your self and argue to only mischievously agree, you are indeed, still crazy after all these years
0
Jul 8, 2023
Jul 8, 2023 at 8:24 AM UTC
Maturity is knowing what your limitations are...(my daily chore)
Maturity is knowing what your limitations are…(my daily chore) <> “Maturity is knowing what your limitations are. Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.” Kurt Vonnegut <> maturity comes when you cannot, even try, to fool oneself, indeed, you preposterousness, make you laugh hardest at your very, fully owned, selfhood preening mirror disguise Is this a poem, a lamentation, a pithy regurgitation of Vonnegut, and you say: “Don’t care, it’s words that gotta come out, be released to empty the heart” a daily excess removal of that daily overflow of the days first words when new day light and nighttime’s REM sleep overlap, and the music starts of a life time of favorites, and like a pleasant thorn direct into your temples brain, the leaking, then the spilling spirals unstoppable onto the pages, and the first true relieving exhalation comes with the excited exorcism of the stones of your life, come outside your body and there is a freshly born stripe upon your face, not yet a scar for it is yet to ripen by healing, but it is your creature for loving…and it is good company with so many prior guests who have checked in, stayed for a moment’s observation, departed after getting an extended checkout time, joining the many who came and went, disappearing in to the internet’s ether, where we one will join them eventually, though you smile at that thought, cause you’re mature enough, baby, an all growled up dude, to know that when you reached that stage, you will be, non-stop laughing at *** serious you imagined you were, and wondering out loud why it took so long to recognize that mirrored visage as one big ole fool with a smile upon his face… p.s so much for that promise to take a break from beating yourself up, but you know what, it is pleasing, in that way when upon the grand occasion of waking up to another unexpected day of living deserves a deep, but rueful, laugh out loud and others’ look at your self and argue to only mischievously agree, you are indeed, still crazy after all these years
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41
After smoking my first pack Of cigarettes The novelty wore off pretty quick. It didn’t feel cool anymore, Didn’t make me feel important. The cigarette was just something To stick between my fingers, **** between my lips, Inhale and feel something In my lungs. A prop. It was just a stick With a red, smoldering **** A piece of tobacco To play with before the ember Ate way down to the filter And singed my fingertips. Now, I think I light up Because the smoke is so ******* enticing. It’s beautiful, A kinesthetic work of art like a ballet, The way those silver Tendrils curl so languidly From the tip into the air, So graceful, so smooth. When I smoke I can’t help but to imagine I’m watching a group of dancers. And I think I light up Because there’s nothing better to do Half the time and at least It flouts the boredom for a few minutes or so, At least it interrupts the Relentless monotony of Life. Kurt Vonnegut mentioned Something about smoking Being a noble form of suicide- Well, so it goes.
0
Oct 24, 2013
Oct 24, 2013 at 11:40 PM UTC
Cig
Derk! The Harold angels sing. The muffin is my savior. Jesus lies. Pacific Islands. The screaming of fires. Rulers. Words. Meters. Feet. The magnetic field is the only field. If I could trust baseball, I would. But cereals, Vonnegut, lies. -ectomy. The ubiquitous suffix. Suffixes make the world hell. -ism, -itis, -like, -tude, cease your silly constructions! Constructions are power I will smash bye bye now
0
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 6:51 PM UTC
Cowboy
Joy Kogawa’s Obasan, Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle, Fitzgerald’s Great Gatsby, The Ninja Handbook…? Dalai Lama’s Open Heart, Haddon’s Curious Incident, Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment, Brook’s World War Z…? *The Life of Adolf ****** Crichton’s Terminal Man, e.e. cumming’s poems, Jon Stewart’s America…? Dante’s Divine Comedy, Leonard’s Rules of Writing, Poe’s Complete Tales and Poems, Book of Useless Information…? Smith’s Junk English? How to Lose a Battle? The Ultimate Guide to Spider-man...? I’m beginning to have my doubts…
0
Nov 8, 2011
Nov 8, 2011 at 10:20 PM UTC
Library of the Gods
The eccentrics and the madmen do cook up this routine world. Scrambled eggs on an old *** simmering. You're a bloke, ya yolk! evoke my jokes! now scramble my sides! and leave me to choke! consume me like you do all things else in this life! As Vonnegut would call it "A Breakfast of Champions"
0
Apr 12, 2015
Apr 12, 2015 at 12:11 PM UTC
Scrambled Eggheads
post it online while you hold your wine hold your whine why don't you tell me? tell me about it about **** and girls with ***** about how you read Vonnegut how **** makes you feel weird but you snort coke and you're trying to grow a beard and your broke and wish you lived in Europe or in the 1920s tell me ******* animal mothers about your great luck how you don't give ***** and your jokes are like minorities poor and unappreciated defeated i'm bleeding delete this. You and 12 friends like this.
0
Nov 27, 2015
Nov 27, 2015 at 11:42 PM UTC
tell me
I’m always yelling at myself For the things I took for granted They said to save yourself But I called them cowards And threw it all ahead Screaming, tomorrow will be better Better Much better Every day that’s not today is destined for greatness A steady decline in sadness Until one day my tombstone will read “EVERYTHING WAS BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HURT” (That one’s Vonnegut, but I bet you knew that) See, my flux capacitor’s broken And I’ve been reading this **** backwards I just want to go back I used to be such a show off Collecting my experiences just to line them up on shelves Lists of proof of my own beauty My bright future Proof that I’ve been loved Of all of my different selves I like that one the least But miss her the most Now I try not to leave the house And when my phone rings I get really anxious Now I feel like I’m always fighting But there’s nobody around So I’m fighting with belt buckles and doorknobs And I resent the people who make those things look easy Now a part of me feels angry when my friends ask me out They don’t understand That’s not self pity They’d understand if I told them But that would require answering my phone And I just can’t do that today I know I’m being selfish Self absorbed and petty But my heart has finally ruptured It couldn’t hold all of the empty promises I’ve filled it with And I’m tired of fighting Now all that my shelves hold Are stacks of reasons why I want to go back to bed And the only list I have Is filled with concrete evidence That tomorrow will not, in fact, Be better Not better Because today is worse than yesterday
0
Jan 28, 2013
Jan 28, 2013 at 9:35 PM UTC
Backwards
I’m always yelling at myself For the things I took for granted They said to save yourself But I called them cowards And threw it all ahead Screaming, tomorrow will be better Better Much better Every day that’s not today is destined for greatness A steady decline in sadness Until one day my tombstone will read “EVERYTHING WAS BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HURT” (That one’s Vonnegut, but I bet you knew that) See, my flux capacitor’s broken And I’ve been reading this **** backwards I just want to go back I used to be such a show off Collecting my experiences just to line them up on shelves Lists of proof of my own beauty My bright future Proof that I’ve been loved Of all of my different selves I like that one the least But miss her the most Now I try not to leave the house And when my phone rings I get really anxious Now I feel like I’m always fighting But there’s nobody around So I’m fighting with belt buckles and doorknobs And I resent the people who make those things look easy Now a part of me feels angry when my friends ask me out They don’t understand That’s not self pity They’d understand if I told them But that would require answering my phone And I just can’t do that today I know I’m being selfish Self absorbed and petty But my heart has finally ruptured It couldn’t hold all of the empty promises I’ve filled it with And I’m tired of fighting Now all that my shelves hold Are stacks of reasons why I want to go back to bed And the only list I have Is filled with concrete evidence That tomorrow will not, in fact, Be better Not better Because today is worse than yesterday
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49
we use or misuse each other we don't ask as often as needed the eye of the needle the sky is closer storms are wiser waters sleep in the seeds of wind everything so holy entangled sweet deceit in lustry illusions glamour for amour cover up for unforseen the unbearable unknown everything so wise like the eagerness of colts So it goes, said Vonnegut casually I am your anything a strange causality a presence this cocoon of desire of course, urgent lover next day another mirror friend in the afternoon a simple woman in the morning slippery oblivion by midnight unearthed hieroglyph all night wide foe and moan & foam of laughter SOS in a bottle but not of wine holy **** from time to time not a dime piece, but she is a penny for your thoughts it is you can make and you can take the cinema on/of my skin let's speak with our ribs for the sake of mimes I could be your slave, but wait when bus sirens fade away incandescence is my name, the patience of graves of grapes
0
Feb 11, 2023
Feb 11, 2023 at 9:46 AM UTC
patience
they say god is perfect. that holds true for me, too. no concept contains me in totality. Stirner wrestled with the undefinable: an indefatigable Unique, anarchic, lacking category. Camus perhaps said it best, "i rebel, therefore i exist." i strive to personify resistance. i find the answers in harmony with Counterparts, defining *The Difference Between Hell and Home*: "i am what i am and i am an outcast." an outlaw, a nobody akin to Nietzsche, returning infinitely— stretched like so many grains of sand on time's flat surface, orbiting eternally around the creative Nothing at half-past 3:00 in the morning. a singularity, deconstructing Derrida's Différance. a nomad on the margins, wandering aimlessly, roaming perpetually with Deleuze and Foucault, an astronaut arranged along the endless frontiers of an ever-expanding cosmos. Vonnegut recognized the periphery affords a radical view to the few who choose to embrace that which cannot be Known. a zero-sum game between Death and me, staving off manic-depressive ennui if only momentarily.
0
Dec 19, 2016
Dec 19, 2016 at 2:55 AM UTC
outlaw
when I was younger I got into staring contests with the sunset despite dire warnings I challenged him I thought I would live forever back then or maybe I just wanted him to blink out before I did I fear death I grew up a Christian reading about Narnia and there was one man after escaping ten years of living in a nightmare as relief from his waking horror he was given the gift of sleep without dreams forever now as well as then I struggle to comprehend how this was a reward to fall asleep and never dream and never wake this is death as far as we can tell in my childhood this was the only exposure I had to the idea of VOID and now it yawns wide open at the feet of this newly formed atheist and I am afraid ‘I never asked to be born in the first place’ -Last words of Adolf ****** (per Kilgore trout (per Kurt Vonnegut Jr.)) the sunset is deep deep orange and summer is fading from green to red and yellow then to brown then to white I’m thinking of Christmas watching a hawk fly silhouetted against the now hot pink clouds to the sound of cicadas and a whisper of moist and cooling air winter is hard to get through then again so is summer the sky above me is the shade of lavender I fell in love with when I couldn’t find anyone who loved me back I was taking a bus trip from December to late spring everyone else was asleep and I watched the sun rise through palm trees and ferns if the afterlife is composed of floating through my time in this life Tralfamadorian Heaven I will be content I am living now
0
Oct 16, 2013
Oct 16, 2013 at 2:11 PM UTC
Sunset
when I was younger I got into staring contests with the sunset despite dire warnings I challenged him I thought I would live forever back then or maybe I just wanted him to blink out before I did I fear death I grew up a Christian reading about Narnia and there was one man after escaping ten years of living in a nightmare as relief from his waking horror he was given the gift of sleep without dreams forever now as well as then I struggle to comprehend how this was a reward to fall asleep and never dream and never wake this is death as far as we can tell in my childhood this was the only exposure I had to the idea of VOID and now it yawns wide open at the feet of this newly formed atheist and I am afraid ‘I never asked to be born in the first place’ -Last words of Adolf ****** (per Kilgore trout (per Kurt Vonnegut Jr.)) the sunset is deep deep orange and summer is fading from green to red and yellow then to brown then to white I’m thinking of Christmas watching a hawk fly silhouetted against the now hot pink clouds to the sound of cicadas and a whisper of moist and cooling air winter is hard to get through then again so is summer the sky above me is the shade of lavender I fell in love with when I couldn’t find anyone who loved me back I was taking a bus trip from December to late spring everyone else was asleep and I watched the sun rise through palm trees and ferns if the afterlife is composed of floating through my time in this life Tralfamadorian Heaven I will be content I am living now
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68
something about you. something about october the dried up leaves and the way everything feels quiet in the middle of the day like living inside of a vhs tape that hasn't been rewound in a decade or two makes me want to start visiting the cemetery make friends with the forgotten when we ended up walking the dogs there on accident it felt like coming home i'll bring my books and a bag of dried cherries, peanut butter bars of dark chocolate wrapped in gold foil, sunflower seeds the nightstand with the warped wooden drawer that's always getting stuck where i keep the half-melted birthday candles and a box of matches, just in case prop my pillow up against a headstone read vonnegut until i fall asleep grow closer to death until it doesn't scare me anymore i used to think ghosts lived in mausoleums but now i know they live inside of a twenty-four-year-old who watches the same vampire movie every time it rains just to feel safe inside the familiarity of the past i'm still the twelve-year-old girl just waiting for something to happen to her i burn my skin in the shower just to feel less alone
0
Oct 26, 2020
Oct 26, 2020 at 3:32 PM UTC
resting place
There's something about you, Like a Vonnegut tale, A beautiful thing With odd little quirks Around every corner And in every page. A glowing light That sometimes flickers To black. There's something about you, My dear, That's just out of reach. So it goes.
0
Jun 21, 2014
Jun 21, 2014 at 11:19 PM UTC
Vonnegut
I'm walking laps around my apartment complex. Passing a red-headed girl with a bottle of Corona, a few Johnny Rebs talking adderall, headlights, streetlights, lighters, swirling, combining, but never providing enough bright. I'm still bearing a slight headache from Saturday night, but finally past the nausea. I spent the day conversing with Rachel's family. The domesticated, scene of warmth was a sharp contrast to the hell I put Rachel through in the waning hours of night. I woke at 9 this morning to find her barely covered in a ratty, blanket, no pillow under her ruffled hair, her eyes burnt red, asking if I was okay. I thought she was overreacting. She shoved water in my face. She said, "Drink it, ****** Like she'd tried a few thousand times before, and apparently she had, I just didn't remember any of it. She had saved me around 4. She cleaned off a death mask of filthy ***** by force. I wouldn't comply because I wasn't coherent. Tonight as I touch each crack of the pavement with my sole, the rest of the human family is pounding beer, suckling the barbeque off their pudgy fingers, and howling at a nation divided between Cheese and Steel. I'm stuck in the trough of existential contemplation. Old Mr. Huxley self-medicated with mescaline and said he discovered the "is-ness", and somehow found contentedness in "everything is". That never made much sense to me. Bukowski found god in ******* and drinking beer. Vonnegut said when god created the world, man asked what his purpose was. God was surprised, and he replied, "I don't know. Make one up."
0
Feb 6, 2011
Feb 6, 2011 at 4:53 PM UTC
Super Bowl Sunday
I'm walking laps around my apartment complex. Passing a red-headed girl with a bottle of Corona, a few Johnny Rebs talking adderall, headlights, streetlights, lighters, swirling, combining, but never providing enough bright. I'm still bearing a slight headache from Saturday night, but finally past the nausea. I spent the day conversing with Rachel's family. The domesticated, scene of warmth was a sharp contrast to the hell I put Rachel through in the waning hours of night. I woke at 9 this morning to find her barely covered in a ratty, blanket, no pillow under her ruffled hair, her eyes burnt red, asking if I was okay. I thought she was overreacting. She shoved water in my face. She said, "Drink it, ****** Like she'd tried a few thousand times before, and apparently she had, I just didn't remember any of it. She had saved me around 4. She cleaned off a death mask of filthy ***** by force. I wouldn't comply because I wasn't coherent. Tonight as I touch each crack of the pavement with my sole, the rest of the human family is pounding beer, suckling the barbeque off their pudgy fingers, and howling at a nation divided between Cheese and Steel. I'm stuck in the trough of existential contemplation. Old Mr. Huxley self-medicated with mescaline and said he discovered the "is-ness", and somehow found contentedness in "everything is". That never made much sense to me. Bukowski found god in ******* and drinking beer. Vonnegut said when god created the world, man asked what his purpose was. God was surprised, and he replied, "I don't know. Make one up."
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42
strange isn’t it how memories pique our moods like mountains bursting through the stratosphere only to be sent plummeting to the depths of an abyss darker and deeper than Marianas Trench at the flip of a switch subtle triggers found in the way someone laughs or when a co-worker grins out of the corner of his or her mouth i see you in the characters of the literature and films we used to critique over coffee hiding in the vestiges of Daenerys Targaryen or Mélanie Laurent you are France an entire country unto yourself the smell of the sea clings to your skin cells in ways i only wish i could you are in every solitary letter of Helvetica whispering softly of things that were of things that are and of some things that have not yet come to pass you float in the carcinogenic smoke of cigarettes a silhouette corporeal particles i exorcise with equal parts relief and regret every night that i paint the town in neon colors of vibrant life i write your name when i vandalize and fantasize that you are somehow with me maybe floating happily in the molecules of aerosol spreading across the concrete you’re in every song by Brand New like the residue of dew drying on the leaves in the mid-morning light lingering even as the sun calls you home the way i lingered on your doorstep to make sure that you made it safely back inside your home i’ve come to find that i am equal parts melancholy and blithe and i think that i can finally say i’m getting better but to borrow a page from Vonnegut i’d be lying if i said i didn’t still catch myself feeling sorry about the things that no longer matter
0
Mar 10, 2014
Mar 10, 2014 at 10:11 AM UTC
slaughterhouse
strange isn’t it how memories pique our moods like mountains bursting through the stratosphere only to be sent plummeting to the depths of an abyss darker and deeper than Marianas Trench at the flip of a switch subtle triggers found in the way someone laughs or when a co-worker grins out of the corner of his or her mouth i see you in the characters of the literature and films we used to critique over coffee hiding in the vestiges of Daenerys Targaryen or Mélanie Laurent you are France an entire country unto yourself the smell of the sea clings to your skin cells in ways i only wish i could you are in every solitary letter of Helvetica whispering softly of things that were of things that are and of some things that have not yet come to pass you float in the carcinogenic smoke of cigarettes a silhouette corporeal particles i exorcise with equal parts relief and regret every night that i paint the town in neon colors of vibrant life i write your name when i vandalize and fantasize that you are somehow with me maybe floating happily in the molecules of aerosol spreading across the concrete you’re in every song by Brand New like the residue of dew drying on the leaves in the mid-morning light lingering even as the sun calls you home the way i lingered on your doorstep to make sure that you made it safely back inside your home i’ve come to find that i am equal parts melancholy and blithe and i think that i can finally say i’m getting better but to borrow a page from Vonnegut i’d be lying if i said i didn’t still catch myself feeling sorry about the things that no longer matter
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119