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"videos" poems
Dear J, I may be at a loss for words half the time, and the other half I might have too much to say, but I can almost always say this; I love you. I have felt fear and I have felt bravery and I have felt loss. I can look pictures of us and I can recall everything we did that day. I can listen to videos of you and I can tell what you felt. And I know that you didn't think I was paying attention, but I knew how you looked when you thought something was unfair. And I knew the look in your eyes when you saw the light just right in a sunset and you knew that nothing could ever be recreated quite like that. I felt the same way about you. Wherever you are, know that loving someone isn't a matter of feeling something or not feeling something. It's a matter of knowing what you're feeling and when you need to let go. I think that people know that letting go involves unfurling your fingers and watching something fall from a great height. It's the act of following that objects downward motion that gets to us. That once it meets the ground or whatever surface it is deemed to hit, it's gone. What was there is gone. And once you think about that you think of what could have been there. That one last touch, that one last feeling of bliss that comes with knowing that the moment you wake up the sun will be shining in rivulets through fingers that tangle in hair fresh off the pillow. It's sad to know that nothing like that will happen again. The sun won't shine the same way. Instead it may simply fall. It won't cascade, it won't flow over the edges of noses or smiling lips. It's the same way water may lose a stone from a riverbed and from there on after it doesn't run quite the same way. But another stone, another pebble will fall in place because replacement happens. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that letting go is letting someone else take a spot. In order for something else to happen you have to let your joints move out of their grip and unfold from their hold on something that wasn't meant to be held by you anymore. Sometimes you have to let them land somewhere new. I only hope that it's somewhere even more beautiful than before. Claire
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Aug 10, 2014
Aug 10, 2014 at 11:47 PM UTC
The theory of letting go
Dear J, I may be at a loss for words half the time, and the other half I might have too much to say, but I can almost always say this; I love you. I have felt fear and I have felt bravery and I have felt loss. I can look pictures of us and I can recall everything we did that day. I can listen to videos of you and I can tell what you felt. And I know that you didn't think I was paying attention, but I knew how you looked when you thought something was unfair. And I knew the look in your eyes when you saw the light just right in a sunset and you knew that nothing could ever be recreated quite like that. I felt the same way about you. Wherever you are, know that loving someone isn't a matter of feeling something or not feeling something. It's a matter of knowing what you're feeling and when you need to let go. I think that people know that letting go involves unfurling your fingers and watching something fall from a great height. It's the act of following that objects downward motion that gets to us. That once it meets the ground or whatever surface it is deemed to hit, it's gone. What was there is gone. And once you think about that you think of what could have been there. That one last touch, that one last feeling of bliss that comes with knowing that the moment you wake up the sun will be shining in rivulets through fingers that tangle in hair fresh off the pillow. It's sad to know that nothing like that will happen again. The sun won't shine the same way. Instead it may simply fall. It won't cascade, it won't flow over the edges of noses or smiling lips. It's the same way water may lose a stone from a riverbed and from there on after it doesn't run quite the same way. But another stone, another pebble will fall in place because replacement happens. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that letting go is letting someone else take a spot. In order for something else to happen you have to let your joints move out of their grip and unfold from their hold on something that wasn't meant to be held by you anymore. Sometimes you have to let them land somewhere new. I only hope that it's somewhere even more beautiful than before. Claire
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9
My generation is the technology generation We are connected 100% of the time My generation is the "selfie" generation A generation of self love and positivity My generation believes you can love someone Even if they're thousands of miles away My generation is the download generation Music from every era is at our fingertips They'll tell you all this is bad They'll say we're a generation ruled by technology And we are, but that's not a bad thing My generation is the one being killed in the street For the color of their skin My generation is the one yelling "hands up don't shoot" And reminding people Black Lives Matter My generation checks social media And hears about news before CNN or Fox My generation uses pictures and videos To dispute the lies we're being fed My generation has the power to change the world They'll say technology is ruining my generation, It's not. It's ruining theirs.
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Aug 28, 2015
Aug 28, 2015 at 10:34 PM UTC
My generation
Social media companies Swear it's you they want to please They badly want for you to see That they value privacy And that there are several strictures On who can see your posts and pictures. You think your profile is secure You're satisfied until you hear That they sell your information To advertising corporations. Every post that you've spent time on pictures, videos you had your eye on They save it all for using later And say "It's ONLY metadata!" They as good as have a list Of content that you can't resist And knowing full well what you like With custom ads they duly strike! They desperately want you to keep scrolling So they can see the money roll in. And their ethics will be forfeited So advertisers can be profited.
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Nov 17, 2017
Nov 17, 2017 at 5:59 AM UTC
meta peeve
Biodiversity, an abstract term used in natural science, Meaning diversity of life in a diversity of places. Tonight I really feel all the compliance, With this term occuring in my life in so many cases. I have both positive and negative associations, If I relate biodiversity to my own life. It kind of explains all the complications, On the road to when and where I thrive. When I look at myself in the mirror, I see the diversity in my face. Both soft like a mother and severe like an emperor, And my hair looks like it's from another race. It is curly and it is dark, While my skin is quite pale. Blue eyes which sometimes brightly spark, But other times greyish and frail. Some moments I feel hyper, like I'm going to explode. I talk, walk, jump and stir, and my brain says 'overload'. Other moments however I feel calm and peace, I lay down just quietly watch the sun. Concentrated on every breath I release, A warm ambiance like that of a mum. Some mornings I feel like I'm the sexiest girl on the planet, I take a red dress and let it slip over my hips. Walk on 15 cm heels like my feet are made of granite, And merely hope to use my red coated lips. Other times even my jogging pants don't seem to fit, I feel like the uggliest girl in town and only see disgust. I watch useless YouTube videos infinite, Because everything else feels like a must. I can go on with this poem for a long time, But it makes no sense. It is just that with this rhyme, I put on paper the doubts, thoughts and experience. The biodiversity in me, I like it and I do not. But what I more and more see, Is a swarm of different butterflies rather than an intwined knot. Life is so **** special, Intense and deeply exciting. I think it is crucial, Not to do too much hiding. Enjoy the biodiversity in yourself, Like a beautiful forest on a hill. So many different species, Crowded, changing and intertwined, but together, still.
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Jul 31, 2016
Jul 31, 2016 at 8:21 AM UTC
The biodiversity in myself
Biodiversity, an abstract term used in natural science, Meaning diversity of life in a diversity of places. Tonight I really feel all the compliance, With this term occuring in my life in so many cases. I have both positive and negative associations, If I relate biodiversity to my own life. It kind of explains all the complications, On the road to when and where I thrive. When I look at myself in the mirror, I see the diversity in my face. Both soft like a mother and severe like an emperor, And my hair looks like it's from another race. It is curly and it is dark, While my skin is quite pale. Blue eyes which sometimes brightly spark, But other times greyish and frail. Some moments I feel hyper, like I'm going to explode. I talk, walk, jump and stir, and my brain says 'overload'. Other moments however I feel calm and peace, I lay down just quietly watch the sun. Concentrated on every breath I release, A warm ambiance like that of a mum. Some mornings I feel like I'm the sexiest girl on the planet, I take a red dress and let it slip over my hips. Walk on 15 cm heels like my feet are made of granite, And merely hope to use my red coated lips. Other times even my jogging pants don't seem to fit, I feel like the uggliest girl in town and only see disgust. I watch useless YouTube videos infinite, Because everything else feels like a must. I can go on with this poem for a long time, But it makes no sense. It is just that with this rhyme, I put on paper the doubts, thoughts and experience. The biodiversity in me, I like it and I do not. But what I more and more see, Is a swarm of different butterflies rather than an intwined knot. Life is so **** special, Intense and deeply exciting. I think it is crucial, Not to do too much hiding. Enjoy the biodiversity in yourself, Like a beautiful forest on a hill. So many different species, Crowded, changing and intertwined, but together, still.
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48
Mine 6:48 a Wednesday Two Weeks later Then: Thanksgiving eve 5E; MIT I sit at my desk: stare out of the windows < My skull at the Chocolate Bock I just Overflowed > all over my notes on the Circe episode of Ulysses, which I have not yet read. 20 minutes after I just –– Went alone. Stood there, yes, alone Above the porcelain enterprise Taking that litmus test of humanity Clear, I pass. Yellow, I fail. It was rather clear I think Honestly? I don't remember. Two weeks ago, I stood there== and came up with this phrase. Standing there with special eyes:::: Seeing. Came back to my room, I did, faithfully Looked there below my second fridge A plate sat. mine. On it: maybe food, maybe ***** Probably marijuana Only the first my own Who remembers? Next to it: an empty prescription bottle "It's some medicine for Asthma. I don't even _have_ asthma!" "Classy **** I am; I've never bought a shot glass. Just use discarded prescription bottles." An experiment @ the sink: exact: 2.0z. On the dot. Turns out that's 1&1/3 of the standard—The ritual We make it. And have made it. For years now together after midnight [or so] 4 years. Soon it will be Maybe I shall leave; probably not but harken back, that fortnight, less 6 To that evening. Orange and purple Effort sublime but not enough: Lost to a team of Freshman.?! ~If only:~ "Tripped mad-laundry shrooms", 6 and a half months ago Two men sit in the corner of my room I know one; the other spoke 2-weeks-later: sticky keyboard I am not sober, but who is? Last night. Remember those videos? reminded me that *** can be beautiful: After basically 2 years: I almost forgot. x-art.com. December 6, 2011 I have a perspective now: It is not the same as yours it is not and, by necessity, can not be the same. But I see it. Stephen Daedalus calls it immature—lyrical but **** you, James: it is mine! I am. Will always be. Will have never been. But, God/Goddess **** it now! I am: I See. I try! ~D.B.Guy
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Nov 3, 2012
Nov 3, 2012 at 3:23 AM UTC
Mine.
Mine 6:48 a Wednesday Two Weeks later Then: Thanksgiving eve 5E; MIT I sit at my desk: stare out of the windows < My skull at the Chocolate Bock I just Overflowed > all over my notes on the Circe episode of Ulysses, which I have not yet read. 20 minutes after I just –– Went alone. Stood there, yes, alone Above the porcelain enterprise Taking that litmus test of humanity Clear, I pass. Yellow, I fail. It was rather clear I think Honestly? I don't remember. Two weeks ago, I stood there== and came up with this phrase. Standing there with special eyes:::: Seeing. Came back to my room, I did, faithfully Looked there below my second fridge A plate sat. mine. On it: maybe food, maybe ***** Probably marijuana Only the first my own Who remembers? Next to it: an empty prescription bottle "It's some medicine for Asthma. I don't even _have_ asthma!" "Classy **** I am; I've never bought a shot glass. Just use discarded prescription bottles." An experiment @ the sink: exact: 2.0z. On the dot. Turns out that's 1&1/3 of the standard—The ritual We make it. And have made it. For years now together after midnight [or so] 4 years. Soon it will be Maybe I shall leave; probably not but harken back, that fortnight, less 6 To that evening. Orange and purple Effort sublime but not enough: Lost to a team of Freshman.?! ~If only:~ "Tripped mad-laundry shrooms", 6 and a half months ago Two men sit in the corner of my room I know one; the other spoke 2-weeks-later: sticky keyboard I am not sober, but who is? Last night. Remember those videos? reminded me that *** can be beautiful: After basically 2 years: I almost forgot. x-art.com. December 6, 2011 I have a perspective now: It is not the same as yours it is not and, by necessity, can not be the same. But I see it. Stephen Daedalus calls it immature—lyrical but **** you, James: it is mine! I am. Will always be. Will have never been. But, God/Goddess **** it now! I am: I See. I try! ~D.B.Guy
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69
[Chorus:] I make ******* insecure Ah, I make ******* insecure I make bitches's insecure It not my fault that I rock you ****** world [x2] [Verse 1] Hold up let me catch my breath Why you hoes jockin on me here gettin bread Pockets stay fat like I just won the menu Couldn't catch it open if I had no [?] click He neva met a ***** like me And he knew he couldn't have me So he told his ***** to get like me Miss pinky I'm rockin ****** world Call me bird cause I can **** on any nighaa and his girl Yea I'm cocky and ***** I got a reason Name one chick set trends all season Stay on my grind, cause you know yo girl the **** And I'm not like cream, but I can get yo nigha wet Everywhere I go I'm the center of attention, ****** tryna show off and get my attention Did I mention They call me miss distraction, Cause I can split a ***** from his ***** like a fraction [Chorus] [verse 2] Throw me my mic, no need for an intro Falen don't act like you don't know I mess it up stay jerkin, everyone must stare My steeze so hot it can straighten your hair Comin through like a raven, My jerkin videos, stay on dudes pages I'm that bomb nigha I'm nuclear Don't call me I'm like solar we stand out yea ***** we bright, skinny jeans Yea ***** we tight yup yup that's right So complex have the crowd restless While I'm yellin out we the baddest (we the baddest) No love honey Slap ****** and take they money I'm money hungry **** so lovely Flirt so EFF, ingggg DOPE .! ! [Chorus] [Verse 3] ***** *** ******* wanna talk **** Cause I'm that ***** And don't call me a bad ***** Call me a average ***** I'm badder I more than You hoes be lacking It's like I'm the teacher when I be rappin My flow so sick, when I'm done they start clappin I put a bullet through your chest ***** they up on me tryna **** with it Tryna get up in my ******* like I'm some kinda hoochie Don't **** a ***** ***** cause they all boogie boogie Yea and I'm 2 fly To **** with you No I'm 3 fly everbody know me know Yea an I'm so fly they be on me, on me. [Chorus] [Verse 4] Money money money Thats all I wrote I stay on top Your the water I'm the boat Alway a **** and never a *** I stay with mo plus ****** plus dough Young in the game but I ain't a little girl It jus take ten nigaas to rock my world Rock rock my world, yea rock my world So, I want you you you plus you Plus the boy back there lookin cute in the blue (You kinda cute) People hate me cause they can't do what I do Mean muggin I laugh at you I took you man then stole yo boo Blah blah it's true Heart so cold like a freakin igloo Got all these nighas like boo hoo And on these tracks I go cookoo
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Nov 22, 2013
Nov 22, 2013 at 1:16 PM UTC
Insecure
[Chorus:] I make ******* insecure Ah, I make ******* insecure I make bitches's insecure It not my fault that I rock you ****** world [x2] [Verse 1] Hold up let me catch my breath Why you hoes jockin on me here gettin bread Pockets stay fat like I just won the menu Couldn't catch it open if I had no [?] click He neva met a ***** like me And he knew he couldn't have me So he told his ***** to get like me Miss pinky I'm rockin ****** world Call me bird cause I can **** on any nighaa and his girl Yea I'm cocky and ***** I got a reason Name one chick set trends all season Stay on my grind, cause you know yo girl the **** And I'm not like cream, but I can get yo nigha wet Everywhere I go I'm the center of attention, ****** tryna show off and get my attention Did I mention They call me miss distraction, Cause I can split a ***** from his ***** like a fraction [Chorus] [verse 2] Throw me my mic, no need for an intro Falen don't act like you don't know I mess it up stay jerkin, everyone must stare My steeze so hot it can straighten your hair Comin through like a raven, My jerkin videos, stay on dudes pages I'm that bomb nigha I'm nuclear Don't call me I'm like solar we stand out yea ***** we bright, skinny jeans Yea ***** we tight yup yup that's right So complex have the crowd restless While I'm yellin out we the baddest (we the baddest) No love honey Slap ****** and take they money I'm money hungry **** so lovely Flirt so EFF, ingggg DOPE .! ! [Chorus] [Verse 3] ***** *** ******* wanna talk **** Cause I'm that ***** And don't call me a bad ***** Call me a average ***** I'm badder I more than You hoes be lacking It's like I'm the teacher when I be rappin My flow so sick, when I'm done they start clappin I put a bullet through your chest ***** they up on me tryna **** with it Tryna get up in my ******* like I'm some kinda hoochie Don't **** a ***** ***** cause they all boogie boogie Yea and I'm 2 fly To **** with you No I'm 3 fly everbody know me know Yea an I'm so fly they be on me, on me. [Chorus] [Verse 4] Money money money Thats all I wrote I stay on top Your the water I'm the boat Alway a **** and never a *** I stay with mo plus ****** plus dough Young in the game but I ain't a little girl It jus take ten nigaas to rock my world Rock rock my world, yea rock my world So, I want you you you plus you Plus the boy back there lookin cute in the blue (You kinda cute) People hate me cause they can't do what I do Mean muggin I laugh at you I took you man then stole yo boo Blah blah it's true Heart so cold like a freakin igloo Got all these nighas like boo hoo And on these tracks I go cookoo
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83
We stare at empty light Look at fake pictures Pretend that everything Is just okay We watch pointless videos Mindless entertainment To fill the endless void The people have created We don't know what to do with ourselves To keep us occupied We don't know what we like We don't know how else to hide The world is ending People are dying We are all stuck In a fake world Just zombies Trying to cure ourselves Of the terrifying void Outside
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Nov 2, 2019
Nov 2, 2019 at 8:23 PM UTC
Zombies
SNAKE cold blooded adapter smooth in its capture, venomous to those caught in its rapture CATERPILLAR ultimate evolver unique in every state, to cocoon and assimilate into a new creature at such a fast rate OX lifter of the heavy, for the weak there are plenty, paver of new roads that bring prosperity to many RABBIT soft to the touch we all wanna pet usually are to fast for anyone to get PIG plentiful is the swine for weak is their mind created for slaughter what a sad lifetime IGUANA all I can think is Mexican radio a snake with legs smoking **** in 80's videos OSTRICH a bird who cannot fly makes me wonder why such a big bird won't even try ~ DOMESTICATED over time becoming content living in a situation not originally meant OBEDIENT submits to authority biding time as a follower till own goals become priority GROWL slow rumble from the soul an intimidating stare with a glow, with a Grrr! everyone will know
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Jul 14, 2013
Jul 14, 2013 at 11:29 AM UTC
SCORPIO-DOG (Mind Associations)
“You are not an artist. You are not an artist.”         What photos must I shoot         How many cigarettes must I smoke It is scary, but - I want to embody the things which destroy minds Summer vibes feel like radiation Use this alcohol to eradicate The proposition - that I will be ‘okay’ My phone is on airplane mode My ambition is floating - as a feather might - Down to the depths I cannot finish my own sentences Bury my expectation with my religion         And it’s funny         Because I have resolved my mind to avoid romantic         confrontation         But, alas - I do day-dream         Of a girl’s face & hair - for it has appeared in my dreams four         times         And I awake to Deja-Vu as her face appears in conscious         frames So… I can imagine & I can see, but - they have become one in the same Could not fantasize asking Your hand in mine Oh how I wish to cry To sob in any light so long as you are in sight Someone to reassure me, that - yes “There is an end to the night.” But I cannot. I suppress it in drives. In music videos. In writing. In self-speaking when I have only me to keep company. Kick me off the team. I do not know what I need. If I could lead, as I once did. But I have left concern in the refrigerator With empty bottles & cans Maybe I will return tomorrow to salvage the cents of my malleable integrity   Won’t you reliquinish me of it ? For I have sipped the poison of honesty Regretfully it tastes like honey Lustful - Fleeting - Sugary - Intoxicating
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Jul 20, 2018
Jul 20, 2018 at 12:38 AM UTC
A Glimpse of My Motivation(s)
“You are not an artist. You are not an artist.”         What photos must I shoot         How many cigarettes must I smoke It is scary, but - I want to embody the things which destroy minds Summer vibes feel like radiation Use this alcohol to eradicate The proposition - that I will be ‘okay’ My phone is on airplane mode My ambition is floating - as a feather might - Down to the depths I cannot finish my own sentences Bury my expectation with my religion         And it’s funny         Because I have resolved my mind to avoid romantic         confrontation         But, alas - I do day-dream         Of a girl’s face & hair - for it has appeared in my dreams four         times         And I awake to Deja-Vu as her face appears in conscious         frames So… I can imagine & I can see, but - they have become one in the same Could not fantasize asking Your hand in mine Oh how I wish to cry To sob in any light so long as you are in sight Someone to reassure me, that - yes “There is an end to the night.” But I cannot. I suppress it in drives. In music videos. In writing. In self-speaking when I have only me to keep company. Kick me off the team. I do not know what I need. If I could lead, as I once did. But I have left concern in the refrigerator With empty bottles & cans Maybe I will return tomorrow to salvage the cents of my malleable integrity   Won’t you reliquinish me of it ? For I have sipped the poison of honesty Regretfully it tastes like honey Lustful - Fleeting - Sugary - Intoxicating
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40
5 o'clock, I should start my homework Haha that's a funny one I'll just go on Facebook instead 6 o'clock, Time to eat dinner This shouldn't take too long I can start my work after 7 o'clock, Okay I'm done eating I should really get my homework started Goes on Twitter for an hour 8 o'clock, Oh **** it's 8:00 already? I'm serious I'll start my homework now Oh look someone texted me 9 o'clock, How the **** did an hour go by already? That was like ten minutes max Oh well, I wonder what's new on YouTube? 11 o'clock, Did I really just spend two hours watching videos on YouTube? Wow I have a problem I wonder what's happened on Facebook since I left? 12 o'clock, Oh **** it's a new day I have school in eight hours and my homework isn't started Well I'm not going to get any sleep so I might as well just stay up later 1 o'clock, Wow I'm so tired Homework is stupid Why do teachers give homework? Whoever invented homework is dead to me 2 o'clock, Haha I'm still going Tomorrow is about to be rough But now that "tomorrow" is today I have to last a full day on no sleep Wait I still have to start my ******* homework 3 o'clock, Finally started my homework Too tired to process anything This homework is gonna take forever cause I'm exhausted out of my ******* mind 4 o'clock, School starts in four hours What the **** am I doing? Why did I have to procrastinate? Why do I do this to myself? I have a major problem 5 o'clock, Finished my homework Have to wake up in an hour Oh well, an hour is better than none I'm never procrastinating again! Cycle repeats tomorrow
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Dec 15, 2015
Dec 15, 2015 at 8:08 PM UTC
In the Life of a Procrastinating Student
5 o'clock, I should start my homework Haha that's a funny one I'll just go on Facebook instead 6 o'clock, Time to eat dinner This shouldn't take too long I can start my work after 7 o'clock, Okay I'm done eating I should really get my homework started Goes on Twitter for an hour 8 o'clock, Oh **** it's 8:00 already? I'm serious I'll start my homework now Oh look someone texted me 9 o'clock, How the **** did an hour go by already? That was like ten minutes max Oh well, I wonder what's new on YouTube? 11 o'clock, Did I really just spend two hours watching videos on YouTube? Wow I have a problem I wonder what's happened on Facebook since I left? 12 o'clock, Oh **** it's a new day I have school in eight hours and my homework isn't started Well I'm not going to get any sleep so I might as well just stay up later 1 o'clock, Wow I'm so tired Homework is stupid Why do teachers give homework? Whoever invented homework is dead to me 2 o'clock, Haha I'm still going Tomorrow is about to be rough But now that "tomorrow" is today I have to last a full day on no sleep Wait I still have to start my ******* homework 3 o'clock, Finally started my homework Too tired to process anything This homework is gonna take forever cause I'm exhausted out of my ******* mind 4 o'clock, School starts in four hours What the **** am I doing? Why did I have to procrastinate? Why do I do this to myself? I have a major problem 5 o'clock, Finished my homework Have to wake up in an hour Oh well, an hour is better than none I'm never procrastinating again! Cycle repeats tomorrow
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43
I log into the network of my self-esteem, To see the hearts and the wows and the laughs flooding in. A simple 'like' wouldn’t cut it anymore ‘Likes’ were so 2010, even 2010 was bored. ‘Cause that’s the zeitgeist of the age, you see, A tendency to wear hearts on sleeves. Loves and kisses are a dime a dozen, With a million friends and followers double. National debates and social justice petitions, Real crises, distorted renditions. High definition photos of disaster zones Flash up against cat videos on every smart phone. Snapchat filters do not lie, Just tell a story of hours gone by; Selecting the perfect background, the ideal shade To express love on the dozen’th date. But that’s the zeitgeist of the century, A tendency to wear hearts on sleeves. To document in minute detail, with extensive pictorial evidence Clockwork days of humdrum nonchalance. And perhaps the generation that came before Would call it vanity, vainglory, or something more. But it ain’t like they were without their sins, We didn’t invent tabloid columnists. And now that we are at the end, Let me sign off with this request: Like, comment, and share your love Let your heart fall out of your shirt cuff.
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Sep 26, 2018
Sep 26, 2018 at 1:53 AM UTC
A Tendency to Wear Hearts on Sleeves
There is nothing more unsettling than a teenage Christmas. The coming of age when adults find their inner child again and you have to try and get rid of yours. 11 is fine. Part of you still believes Santa put the presents under tree. 12 is also okay, just a little less pixie dust stirs in the stomach on Christmas Eve. 13, 14 and 15 are tricky. You don't want to look babyish by getting too excited, so you shrug it off and ask 'Santa' for a mobile phone, a laptop, a TV, until by 15 you ask for the most 'grown up' present of all. "I just want money." The words burn your lips and tongue like acid, a yearning for the sensation of a gift you can unwrap tugging in your rib cage. You can't buy that. 16, 17 and 18 are Christmases tinged with nostalgia. Little ghosts of the younger you run down the stairs on Christmas morning, feet clad in slippers and Power Rangers pjyamas askew, whilst you follow in procession, almost a funeral. It's not that you don't like Christmas. It's not that you don't love your family. It's not that you don't feel a fire light in your belly when you bite into a mince pie, it's not that the battered Christmas videos your family replay each year don't still make you smile, it's not even that you've gotten too old for it all. Have you? Slippers and tiny fists batter against advent calender doors, begging you to open them. When you're 19  you do. You let them out and let them rush to rip open their presents under the tree. You let them eat their selection box first before dinner. You let them cry when the Snowman melts and you let them laugh and not mock heave when your father chases your mother with mistletoe. You let the ghosts become holograms you can play in your mind like a projector and slides, no longer a need to leave holly by their graves but a chance to remember and smile. You let them be happy.
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Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013 at 10:08 AM UTC
The Puberty of Christmas
There is nothing more unsettling than a teenage Christmas. The coming of age when adults find their inner child again and you have to try and get rid of yours. 11 is fine. Part of you still believes Santa put the presents under tree. 12 is also okay, just a little less pixie dust stirs in the stomach on Christmas Eve. 13, 14 and 15 are tricky. You don't want to look babyish by getting too excited, so you shrug it off and ask 'Santa' for a mobile phone, a laptop, a TV, until by 15 you ask for the most 'grown up' present of all. "I just want money." The words burn your lips and tongue like acid, a yearning for the sensation of a gift you can unwrap tugging in your rib cage. You can't buy that. 16, 17 and 18 are Christmases tinged with nostalgia. Little ghosts of the younger you run down the stairs on Christmas morning, feet clad in slippers and Power Rangers pjyamas askew, whilst you follow in procession, almost a funeral. It's not that you don't like Christmas. It's not that you don't love your family. It's not that you don't feel a fire light in your belly when you bite into a mince pie, it's not that the battered Christmas videos your family replay each year don't still make you smile, it's not even that you've gotten too old for it all. Have you? Slippers and tiny fists batter against advent calender doors, begging you to open them. When you're 19  you do. You let them out and let them rush to rip open their presents under the tree. You let them eat their selection box first before dinner. You let them cry when the Snowman melts and you let them laugh and not mock heave when your father chases your mother with mistletoe. You let the ghosts become holograms you can play in your mind like a projector and slides, no longer a need to leave holly by their graves but a chance to remember and smile. You let them be happy.
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Feb 3, 2016
Feb 3, 2016 at 3:47 PM UTC
****
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When I went to the park today I heard the birds singing and the water moving- ever so softly against the wind. The squirrels, their erratic tails and fur bounded across trees and ate nuts as they stared at the funny looking squirrels below them. The ones with the shorts and the shirts on, and the ones with the long hair colored so strangely. Those squirrels didn’t quite look like squirrels at all. They drove strange boats and paddled in the water, and a couple of those strange squirrels seemed to have large furry companions that definitely didn’t look like squirrels. And yet whenever they come near they act like they know the squirrels they take photos and videos and make memes, funny pictures and snapchat videos of them. But they aren’t. They aren’t squirrels at all. They’re humans, yet some think they are squirrels.
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Apr 16, 2016
Apr 16, 2016 at 6:44 PM UTC
Funny Looking Squirrels
You watch these videos Of people shouting BLM Because if your black you are condemned To them, Because to them you are not equal And somehow ****** is legal But only if your a white cop, SAY MY NAME My name is Rayshard Brooks, I am only 37, I feel asleep in the cops car, Resulting in me being restrained and shot because I was believed to be intoxicated, SAY MY NAME My Name is Daniel ***** I am 41, I died in 2020, I died due to strangulation from cops, They used their body weight to slam me to the ground and strangle me, SAY MY NAME I am George Floyd, I am 46 years old with a child, A cop sat on my neck for 8 minutes and I died due to strangulation, I had a kid and a wife, SAY THEIR NAMES Their names and lives are more important than your privilege, SO speak up and speak loud, Because you are their voice, You can be the voice of the unheard, And the misrepresented.
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Jan 5, 2021
Jan 5, 2021 at 10:05 AM UTC
BLM
When we fell asleep video chatting every night for a month When I cried because you were the first person to make me feel like I wasn’t alone When you excitedly told me about kissing a girl in a cemetery When you sent me videos of your dirt bike When we went cruising and listened to songs from our favourite band When you tried to teach me how to game When you told me everything you love about your girlfriend When you talked about engines and cars with me even though I didn’t understand When you saw I was feeling bad even at the one place I’m always happy When you didn’t ask questions when I asked you to get rid of my razors, but instead told me how proud you were When you held me as I cried, knowing I hate crying in front of people When you let me fall asleep holding you even though I was cold and wet When you held my hand when we woke up on the day when everyone had to leave When you let me hug you a hundred times because you knew how much I’d miss you When you gave me closeness and friendship and love unlike anything I’d ever known before When we sat in my porch for 3 hours after fireworks were shot at people during a party, so you could make sure I was okay When you let me cuddle you even though your friends would give you a hard time When you told me you’d help me out if anyone ever hurt me When you took a selfie with me When you carried me everywhere *** I was tired When you held my hand going down a steep trail because I couldn’t see and you knew I was scared When you brought me extra food because you knew I skipped lunch When you were protective over who I was friends with When I came over to your house for the first time and we made pizza, gamed, and hung out with your family When you had you first kiss with me When you always showed you were protective of me and became the big brother I never had When you told me you were bi on the first day we met When you told me that only people you know well or that you like get to know you’re bi When you cried and told me all your favourite facts and memories of a friend who had betrayed you When you told me I had a cute nose When you fell asleep holding my hand When we hugged eachother after not seeing eachother for a year When we kissed for the first time When we kissed more When you were my date When you told me I was the only non-celebrity you’d go gay for When we danced together When we agreed to have an annual one week relationship When you were the first girl I loved When I met these people I never thought we’d get to the point were at now. I doubt I’ve effected their lives as much as they’ve effected mine but it doesn’t even really matter because I have them and that’s all that matters to me
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Aug 25, 2018
Aug 25, 2018 at 6:07 PM UTC
My Favourite Moments With People
When we fell asleep video chatting every night for a month When I cried because you were the first person to make me feel like I wasn’t alone When you excitedly told me about kissing a girl in a cemetery When you sent me videos of your dirt bike When we went cruising and listened to songs from our favourite band When you tried to teach me how to game When you told me everything you love about your girlfriend When you talked about engines and cars with me even though I didn’t understand When you saw I was feeling bad even at the one place I’m always happy When you didn’t ask questions when I asked you to get rid of my razors, but instead told me how proud you were When you held me as I cried, knowing I hate crying in front of people When you let me fall asleep holding you even though I was cold and wet When you held my hand when we woke up on the day when everyone had to leave When you let me hug you a hundred times because you knew how much I’d miss you When you gave me closeness and friendship and love unlike anything I’d ever known before When we sat in my porch for 3 hours after fireworks were shot at people during a party, so you could make sure I was okay When you let me cuddle you even though your friends would give you a hard time When you told me you’d help me out if anyone ever hurt me When you took a selfie with me When you carried me everywhere *** I was tired When you held my hand going down a steep trail because I couldn’t see and you knew I was scared When you brought me extra food because you knew I skipped lunch When you were protective over who I was friends with When I came over to your house for the first time and we made pizza, gamed, and hung out with your family When you had you first kiss with me When you always showed you were protective of me and became the big brother I never had When you told me you were bi on the first day we met When you told me that only people you know well or that you like get to know you’re bi When you cried and told me all your favourite facts and memories of a friend who had betrayed you When you told me I had a cute nose When you fell asleep holding my hand When we hugged eachother after not seeing eachother for a year When we kissed for the first time When we kissed more When you were my date When you told me I was the only non-celebrity you’d go gay for When we danced together When we agreed to have an annual one week relationship When you were the first girl I loved When I met these people I never thought we’d get to the point were at now. I doubt I’ve effected their lives as much as they’ve effected mine but it doesn’t even really matter because I have them and that’s all that matters to me
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GMO foods punch holes in cells permeate the gut, creating gaps in guts Leading to food floating in bloodstreams, rivers of pain Food allergies, ulcers, IBS .... these are the milder troubles I won't speak of  IBD, Cancer and Crohns disease Babies born now allergic to foods, children allergic more than ever They said, though the BT injected crops killed bugs, bursting their bellies that they were still safe for humans....They were wrong! Now these GMO crops are causing a myriad of gastro problems in people! Food crops are now Roundup ready in the Killing Fields. Videos to watch: www.youtube.com/watch?v=FS72J9bDvPM&feature;=relmfu www.youtube.com/watch?v=6D3TUk-XX1o&feature;=relmfu TOP FOODS TO AVOID (unless labeled organic) Corn Soy Potatoes Canola, Cottonseed Oils Sugar, fructose, corn syrup Dairy - except organic Tomatoes - except organic Papaya/Hawaiian Helpful links:   www.naturalnews.com/035734_GMOs_foods_dangers.html http://truefoodnow.org/
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Aug 24, 2012
Aug 24, 2012 at 10:39 PM UTC
I'd love to "Roundup" the GMO monsters
i'm laying on the floor watching YouTube videos of veterans coming home to their pets and i imagine you as a veteran and me as the dog crying in your lap. but if i'm honest with myself, i'm the veteran coming home, my heart is a dog, and you're a cat in the corner who doesn't give a **** i don't even need to tell you that love was the war. love is always the war. i just want to lick your face. i want to paw at your chest after a long day. i want to stretch and have you scratch the places i can't reach. i don't understand the command "stay". i am casting tiny spells where i pick lint off of your sweatshirt and chew on my bottom lip while i look you in the eye. but you are disenchanted.
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Sep 17, 2015
Sep 17, 2015 at 11:05 PM UTC
alienmouth virginity
Consuming useless videos and content Alone in my room To distract from the racing and hurtful Thoughts about you And it always works for a moment Or a minute or more Until the intrusive thoughts come back, Barging down my door I put it back up, re-screw the hinges And shut it And lay back down to consume more Mindless content
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Jan 15, 2022
Jan 15, 2022 at 7:27 AM UTC
Distractions
Watching Trending videos on YouTube, 2 of the top ten videos are dead, which means I’m watching ghosts, having deja vu see it seems I’ve seen this scene before, Rest In Peace Mac Miller, Resit In Pease Xxxtentacion, this spirits have be writing frantically, going for gold or at least an honorable mention, want to be anything except forgotten, skin is fresh but core is rotten, scent of cologne watching Post Malone, give an interview on Jimmy Fallon, seems we’ve fallen, and our idols are a sign of where we’re at, war never stopped it just changed forms, from Germany to Vietnam to Iraq, as the sun sets over San Francisco Bay, I watch the colors run, indifferent to the cause and the effect, nothing’s perfect but the sky always looks so beautiful, as I gaze out this bedroom window, in a house I do not own, just touched down from Australia, back in The Bay for another round, taking a moment to reflect, in my feelings as the sun sets, and it feels like we’ve seen it all, even though we know we haven’t seen anything yet, watching Trending videos on YouTube, 2 of the top ten videos are dead, which means I’m watching ghosts, having deja vu see it seems I’ve seen this scene before… ∆ LaLux ∆
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Oct 2, 2018
Oct 2, 2018 at 9:16 PM UTC
{ Seeing Ghost }
There's a million ways to love a soul. And I'm done holding back, just so you know. Because I love so many people in this day to day life. I can't hold it back, just to be someone's wife. There's the way I love you. I want to have our home. I want to go on adventures. Never leave you alone. Make silly faces. Caress your hair. Make goofy videos. Cuddle our pets. Maybe a baby... Fancy that. There's the way I love you. Always messages a few a times a year. Happy birthday. Merry Christmas. How are you my dear? How is the wife? How are the babies? I found your letter. Man, we were crazy. There's the way I love you. You taught me so much. A better way to think. A better way to touch. How important it is to value myself. And how to let go. That's why I love you so. And there's the way I love you. The unapologetic ways. In which you take my hand But make everyone the same. The way you say, "I just want to see you" And even though it's temporary, You make time seem brand new. There are too many ways to love a person. How you can be so sure what is real? Which one is forever? Which one would should we feel? But I wouldn't be me, with out all of this painful action. I want a world that's not afraid to love.
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Jan 8, 2016
Jan 8, 2016 at 1:52 AM UTC
How To Love
When you say racism doesn't exist, you are saying one of the most detrimental things you can say in our society. You are saying I know better. You are saying that it is okay. The things that you have experienced and the pain that you have felt is okay. Because I don't think it's real. I don't trust your experiences. I don't believe that you know more about what it is like to be you than I do. I don't care what history has to say. I don't care what you have to say. I don't trust you so your words don't matter to me. I don't trust you so your pictures, videos, interviews don't matter to me. When you say racism doesn't exist... What you're really saying is, "I still can't hear you." And what then won't a person do to be heard?
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Nov 27, 2014
Nov 27, 2014 at 7:33 AM UTC
When you say racism doesn't exist.
if you can be anything be kind. we are all just humans. we laugh at cute cat videos, hum little songs, eat raw cookie dough and laugh when it makes one giant cookie mass. life is made of these moments. people deserve so much love. how often do we remind our families we love them? is it often enough? how many days do we think only of ourselves. human nature is beautiful and terrible and stunning. somehow hate seeps through the cracks of time and makes us bitter and angry. and it's fine to be angry. just don't let it consume you. remember sometimes that there are old folks out there who still tease each other, there are babies who giggle when you play peekaboo, there are dogs with slobbery tongues who need head scratches, there are children spinning and laughing when they fall. humams are important. we are special. even people we say we hate. i thought i hated my mom but i know she cares and i have seen her run when she thought i was in danger. i have seen her break into tears at getting a DUI and trying to explain to a child that she might lose her job. being human is tough. our hearts harden trying to protect ourselves but we end up locking people out. in trying to avoid being hurt we hurt the ones we love. please never forget that each person you meet has more than just facet. people are stunningly complex. don't judge someome til you've walked two moons in their moccasins. humans are worth so much. i don't know what i am saying but i mean it with all of me. i love you. you deserve so much.
0
Oct 16, 2018
Oct 16, 2018 at 10:45 AM UTC
remember that you are loved
if you can be anything be kind. we are all just humans. we laugh at cute cat videos, hum little songs, eat raw cookie dough and laugh when it makes one giant cookie mass. life is made of these moments. people deserve so much love. how often do we remind our families we love them? is it often enough? how many days do we think only of ourselves. human nature is beautiful and terrible and stunning. somehow hate seeps through the cracks of time and makes us bitter and angry. and it's fine to be angry. just don't let it consume you. remember sometimes that there are old folks out there who still tease each other, there are babies who giggle when you play peekaboo, there are dogs with slobbery tongues who need head scratches, there are children spinning and laughing when they fall. humams are important. we are special. even people we say we hate. i thought i hated my mom but i know she cares and i have seen her run when she thought i was in danger. i have seen her break into tears at getting a DUI and trying to explain to a child that she might lose her job. being human is tough. our hearts harden trying to protect ourselves but we end up locking people out. in trying to avoid being hurt we hurt the ones we love. please never forget that each person you meet has more than just facet. people are stunningly complex. don't judge someome til you've walked two moons in their moccasins. humans are worth so much. i don't know what i am saying but i mean it with all of me. i love you. you deserve so much.
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Hashtag my soul away, so many can see it I’m waving my hands saying hey look at me Posting pics, statuses and videos Can’t do it quietly I want them all to See Envy me and make me their fantasy A few likes on this post is not enough I deserve to get liked like I’m roylaty adore me while you stare at the pictures I spent hours cropping, adding more filters to guard my insecurities Before I hashtag it, I dress it with perfection Cut out any ugliness, clean up the mess Show the world purity because if they see the negative their words will expose my insecurities Behind this screen I found a secured me That is the side I only want them to see So I hastag popular tags so they can all see The better side of me
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Aug 7, 2018
Aug 7, 2018 at 11:31 PM UTC
#hashtag
Cricket is the only game which lures me so much; And then engrosses me so much. That craze would never drive out of me… My inspiration was ‘Yuvraj Singh’, Only then I arose to identify that King. Once Yuvi’s record of six sixes in six ***** The firmament was incredible for certain minutes: That was the first time I witnessed cricket, And India’s triumph provided me a mind-blowing buzz to watch cricket, Nevertheless continuing with ***** and wickets. I would turn crazy when Indian cricketers approach the ground, And that would certainly not halt lest they are made proud. This T20 shadowed by IPL, Made me to by stand that awe-inspiring sport. Chennai Super Kings-my favorite, Followed by Royal Challenges Bangalore … And lots more hilarious teams and cricketers. When Chris Gayle approaches… Tsunami warning must be lifted and “Gayle” (gale) warning must be given! That’s how cricket relocates… Most matches concluding in the closing over And some others in the finishing ball… The most exhilarating sport Read more →and the format- IPL is all fun for me… With cheer leaders and the draped studio; With cameras and videos And at last the much awaited IPL trophy- Cricket is all that it needs!!!
0
Jan 6, 2013
Jan 6, 2013 at 12:43 AM UTC
T20 Too IPL