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"vacantly" poems
In these rapid, restless shadows, Once I walked at eventide, When a gentle, silent maiden, Walked in beauty at my side. She alone there walked beside me All in beauty, like a bride. Pallidly the moon was shining On the dewy meadows nigh; On the silvery, silent rivers, On the mountains far and high,— On the ocean’s star-lit waters, Where the winds a-weary die. Slowly, silently we wandered From the open cottage door, Underneath the elm’s long branches To the pavement bending o’er; Underneath the mossy willow And the dying sycamore. With the myriad stars in beauty All bedight, the heavens were seen, Radiant hopes were bright around me, Like the light of stars serene; Like the mellow midnight splendor Of the Night’s irradiate queen. Audibly the elm-leaves whispered Peaceful, pleasant melodies, Like the distant murmured music Of unquiet, lovely seas; While the winds were hushed in slumber In the fragrant flowers and trees. Wondrous and unwonted beauty Still adorning all did seem, While I told my love in fables ’Neath the willows by the stream; Would the heart have kept unspoken Love that was its rarest dream! Instantly away we wandered In the shadowy twilight tide, She, the silent, scornful maiden, Walking calmly at my side, With a step serene and stately, All in beauty, all in pride. Vacantly I walked beside her. On the earth mine eyes were cast; Swift and keen there came unto me Bitter memories of the past— On me, like the rain in Autumn On the dead leaves, cold and fast. Underneath the elms we parted, By the lowly cottage door; One brief word alone was uttered— Never on our lips before; And away I walked forlornly, Broken-hearted evermore. Slowly, silently I loitered, Homeward, in the night, alone; Sudden anguish bound my spirit, That my youth had never known; Wild unrest, like that which cometh When the Night’s first dream hath flown. Now, to me the elm-leaves whisper Mad, discordant melodies, And keen melodies like shadows Haunt the moaning willow trees, And the sycamores with laughter Mock me in the nightly breeze. Sad and pale the Autumn moonlight Through the sighing foliage streams; And each morning, midnight shadow, Shadow of my sorrow seems; Strive, O heart, forget thine idol! And, O soul, forget thy dreams!
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The Village Street
In these rapid, restless shadows, Once I walked at eventide, When a gentle, silent maiden, Walked in beauty at my side. She alone there walked beside me All in beauty, like a bride. Pallidly the moon was shining On the dewy meadows nigh; On the silvery, silent rivers, On the mountains far and high,— On the ocean’s star-lit waters, Where the winds a-weary die. Slowly, silently we wandered From the open cottage door, Underneath the elm’s long branches To the pavement bending o’er; Underneath the mossy willow And the dying sycamore. With the myriad stars in beauty All bedight, the heavens were seen, Radiant hopes were bright around me, Like the light of stars serene; Like the mellow midnight splendor Of the Night’s irradiate queen. Audibly the elm-leaves whispered Peaceful, pleasant melodies, Like the distant murmured music Of unquiet, lovely seas; While the winds were hushed in slumber In the fragrant flowers and trees. Wondrous and unwonted beauty Still adorning all did seem, While I told my love in fables ’Neath the willows by the stream; Would the heart have kept unspoken Love that was its rarest dream! Instantly away we wandered In the shadowy twilight tide, She, the silent, scornful maiden, Walking calmly at my side, With a step serene and stately, All in beauty, all in pride. Vacantly I walked beside her. On the earth mine eyes were cast; Swift and keen there came unto me Bitter memories of the past— On me, like the rain in Autumn On the dead leaves, cold and fast. Underneath the elms we parted, By the lowly cottage door; One brief word alone was uttered— Never on our lips before; And away I walked forlornly, Broken-hearted evermore. Slowly, silently I loitered, Homeward, in the night, alone; Sudden anguish bound my spirit, That my youth had never known; Wild unrest, like that which cometh When the Night’s first dream hath flown. Now, to me the elm-leaves whisper Mad, discordant melodies, And keen melodies like shadows Haunt the moaning willow trees, And the sycamores with laughter Mock me in the nightly breeze. Sad and pale the Autumn moonlight Through the sighing foliage streams; And each morning, midnight shadow, Shadow of my sorrow seems; Strive, O heart, forget thine idol! And, O soul, forget thy dreams!
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72
*She creeps quietly into the dim lights of the city inundating gentle delicate thoughts into a deluged gray haze, lingering vacantly in fragile minds, and drifts over towns like an overcast of curtains like a nebulous blanket for she leaves with an air of mystery on little silent cat feet*
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Mar 5, 2015
Mar 5, 2015 at 6:23 AM UTC
Fog
Glaring vacantly into the ceiling, I am wondering what's true, I need to stop reliving my past to settle a life without you. It's not easy to forget all and take a new start, With all those memories I planted in the soil of my heart. I had painted a whole life with you under my eyelid, And it's just as if I am leaving a storybook in the mid. You have become another shard in my brain that aches me, I was a blind fool misled by your simpler of gestures but now I can see.
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Apr 14, 2014
Apr 14, 2014 at 11:05 PM UTC
Life without love is nothing, but nothing is simpler!
Whiskey kissed lips a forever favorite. Though love is not an attainable goal, I will let the lips, stained with liquor, whisper vacantly the beautiful things that please my heart. Time will tell of a love, so tragic, between the two souls, that should have never intertwined. But for now let us sink, back into that warm place of security. Fiery passion may not last in love. But the whiskey kissed lips, make this foreshadowed tragedy, sound irresistibly sweet.
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Jun 5, 2014
Jun 5, 2014 at 3:15 AM UTC
Whiskey Kissed
She could see her arm through the sleeves of her dress They rested so far from one of the sides And yet the mirror said she needed to be more light. Most of the days She was afraid she would be too much For a guy to own Her heart had long been strangled By her load And so she no longer ate. But, here she was months later Owning half of what she had And yet carrying too much , Her heart was a bit afloat But still dragged was her soul For the mirror said She needed to be more hollow. Her ribs poked her chest, She felt them with her fingers When she was in her room alone, No one could see them, She wouldn't let anyone so close But she wondered if they could feel those bones Maybe they would have considered her light. Undressed after a bath She would turn around at the mirror Gazing at her backbone- gazing back . It was all so clear now You could almost count the bones Yet the mirror said she must be a bit more hollow. Her hands were now so much more thin You could hold them in the stretch of your thumb And maybe your little finger And even though you would laugh at her length She would be scared by your touch So that you do not know. Of all the things she lost, Her sullen cheeks to her coat, Her smile was the thing she misses most. Now her smile was too empty, Previously it was fastened to her face Now the hollow mouth almost appears As if her smile would just fall of, She is now shy to smile She often wonders back to the day When that guy had said She had a beautiful smile. But you wouldn't know Photographs never really captured her Now not anymore. She often stumbles now, Lighter to her feet She does get up herself, But she wonders now and then If it had been because most of her Was now gone. So vacantly, emptily she walks A few watch her go, The world is the mirror With no memory of the past, It still calls her heavy With no appreciation of what she has become. She has lost herself And the world needs her To lose herself more. She wonders if it's time To have their demands finally denied. How much more could she afford to lose ? How long until she dies?
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Apr 16, 2017
Apr 16, 2017 at 3:16 AM UTC
Recover
She could see her arm through the sleeves of her dress They rested so far from one of the sides And yet the mirror said she needed to be more light. Most of the days She was afraid she would be too much For a guy to own Her heart had long been strangled By her load And so she no longer ate. But, here she was months later Owning half of what she had And yet carrying too much , Her heart was a bit afloat But still dragged was her soul For the mirror said She needed to be more hollow. Her ribs poked her chest, She felt them with her fingers When she was in her room alone, No one could see them, She wouldn't let anyone so close But she wondered if they could feel those bones Maybe they would have considered her light. Undressed after a bath She would turn around at the mirror Gazing at her backbone- gazing back . It was all so clear now You could almost count the bones Yet the mirror said she must be a bit more hollow. Her hands were now so much more thin You could hold them in the stretch of your thumb And maybe your little finger And even though you would laugh at her length She would be scared by your touch So that you do not know. Of all the things she lost, Her sullen cheeks to her coat, Her smile was the thing she misses most. Now her smile was too empty, Previously it was fastened to her face Now the hollow mouth almost appears As if her smile would just fall of, She is now shy to smile She often wonders back to the day When that guy had said She had a beautiful smile. But you wouldn't know Photographs never really captured her Now not anymore. She often stumbles now, Lighter to her feet She does get up herself, But she wonders now and then If it had been because most of her Was now gone. So vacantly, emptily she walks A few watch her go, The world is the mirror With no memory of the past, It still calls her heavy With no appreciation of what she has become. She has lost herself And the world needs her To lose herself more. She wonders if it's time To have their demands finally denied. How much more could she afford to lose ? How long until she dies?
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68
The lotus, I choose the lotus! The ebb and flow the shore it goads us Static focus, a layer peeled off and cast aside The tide it whispered it spoke to me but I turned I looked the other way Upwards roads and downwards roads Set the rock aside Sisyphus, Bear the weight no more Stare in lost, in vacant eyes at a boatless shore The lotus, I choose the lotus Wayward streams, down and around it floats us And spits us out, Our isolated Elysium or tortured chamber It’s a matter of where you spend your days, in or out On what you rest your eyes upon, The whirlwind, the spinning cannon Fates bolt it shoots us in twirling spiral And all along from the corner lit dim Float the soft tunes of a harpist, Deft fingers pluck the taught strings, And her eyes overcast, cloudy grey Stare vacantly out like person drowned The lotus, I choose the lotus! The sweet nectar it covers it soothes me Puzzled pieces glue me, paste me together Pluck me, toss me, say that I flew Let’s play who knows who Be honest who really knows you Reflection from the lake, a familiar face it greets me Whirlpool tides, how they rip they pull us Oh the lotus, give me the lotus!
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Apr 26, 2019
Apr 26, 2019 at 12:03 AM UTC
After many nights of careful consideration
I fell in love with you More accurately I fell in love with the feelings you transferred into me But those mutinous emotions betrayed me The moment you did The withdrawal from your love was too intense I desperately needed something to replace those feelings I always said I could run from anything as long as it didn't involve running But after walking with you for so long It's hard to change my pace The path too tough to face Your memories fueled the chase Until I found my escape The kneading needles turned me fetal Shocked my veins like eels Fetuses aren't the most ambulatory The race became a marathon story Your effervescent ghost pursued me Breaking the sound barrier to reach me I floated vacantly in the stew of your noise The needles touched me The way you wouldn't The needles bled me The way you would Then the race ended as abruptly as it started Only to begin another race ...But things were different this time Slugs waved as they passed a sprinter Tormented by a lane filled with needles The hostile crowd watched with pity As a once great athlete Was forced to acknowledge his janitorial duties The fickle mob cheered with triumph Upon his valiant return He was quicker than ever before And the masses exalted him He ran faster than everybody And waited for nobody Anxious they might reveal his secret That his speed was derived from his feather weight After the needles hollowed out his insides
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Jun 1, 2017
Jun 1, 2017 at 2:30 PM UTC
Needles
Marooned in the island of loneliness Shadows of delusion confront her In a stormy sea, she got ship wrecked And the sea had robbed everything from her What unanticipated change comes over When people let one down What shocking realization it is To know that there is nobody to care She is now a drying brook That has once been a river in spate A deflated balloon, unable to soar high A blind bird that cannot see a dawn Nor sing a song to wake the sleeping world She bears scars like deep cuts On an ill maintained tarmac road Vacantly she looks into the far horizon When broken shards of moonlight Paint pictures of dark demons around her She screams in silence for someone To come to her rescue, to lift her up As a bird that with nightfall returns To a tree to call out its solitude to the stars She sits there alone, terribly alone, Not knowing to whom she should call out! Will the stars keep her company? Tomorrow when another day of uncertainty breaks out She wonders if she should wake up and greet the dawn With the hope that her pain would go into remission And her frozen inside would thaw by itself in time Or end her life as soundless, as inconsequential As a droplet let down from a blade of grass!
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Dec 8, 2017
Dec 8, 2017 at 8:07 AM UTC
Marooned
Arrival final destination, Welcome to Huntsville you see, Enter by the back door, Then you go to eat, Traditional fare, if you like, Burger wrapped in blood, The blood red of ketchup, matches the blood on your hands, You are young, dressed in virtual innocence, Do the crime, you do the time, Is it worthy of eternity, Since break of day you wait, Waiting for impending death, 6 P.M It is the evening of your darkest day, For vile sin, with life you pay, What thoughts traverse through your young head, As tears trickle and pleas long gone, For clemency calls rolled onto deaf ears, You were the big man so they said, A victim of cruel circumstance, Collared by forensic drift, Evidence grabbed, Poor boy, At a cost of $86.08, more than you made on that fateful day, Led to the gurney in shackles and chain, Chains weighed heavier than conscience, Conscience ****** your frightened brain, Are you moved for your final confession, Ideal for the papers for in a press release, The last words he did say, 'Thank God for giving me life, see you soon, Sir, For it's my final day, Of course, I forgot you know that anyway', I'm Sorry, so sorry, Father forgive me, Waited almost a lifetime for this his final day, The row of death so welcoming, The great escape maybe, Visage of executioner, Looks deep into your soul, While you stare vacantly into his eyes, The ultimate sensation of pain as the needle quickly enters your vein, As nerve endings and your body die, Reflection of immaturity, Bad life, sad life, consequence of situation, No life had, no love lost! By ladylivvi1 © 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)
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Aug 24, 2013
Aug 24, 2013 at 8:49 AM UTC
Expected Death!
Arrival final destination, Welcome to Huntsville you see, Enter by the back door, Then you go to eat, Traditional fare, if you like, Burger wrapped in blood, The blood red of ketchup, matches the blood on your hands, You are young, dressed in virtual innocence, Do the crime, you do the time, Is it worthy of eternity, Since break of day you wait, Waiting for impending death, 6 P.M It is the evening of your darkest day, For vile sin, with life you pay, What thoughts traverse through your young head, As tears trickle and pleas long gone, For clemency calls rolled onto deaf ears, You were the big man so they said, A victim of cruel circumstance, Collared by forensic drift, Evidence grabbed, Poor boy, At a cost of $86.08, more than you made on that fateful day, Led to the gurney in shackles and chain, Chains weighed heavier than conscience, Conscience ****** your frightened brain, Are you moved for your final confession, Ideal for the papers for in a press release, The last words he did say, 'Thank God for giving me life, see you soon, Sir, For it's my final day, Of course, I forgot you know that anyway', I'm Sorry, so sorry, Father forgive me, Waited almost a lifetime for this his final day, The row of death so welcoming, The great escape maybe, Visage of executioner, Looks deep into your soul, While you stare vacantly into his eyes, The ultimate sensation of pain as the needle quickly enters your vein, As nerve endings and your body die, Reflection of immaturity, Bad life, sad life, consequence of situation, No life had, no love lost! By ladylivvi1 © 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)
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48
You and I need to Tom Cruise together Because I only know A Few Good Men And you're the Top Gun And I am a little self conscious about how much I enjoy the first half of Cocktails Because this kind of love can be Risky Business When I'm with you I don't want to see the Edge of Tomorrow Nor do I feel like I'm one of The Outsiders anymore We should get really weird and try some Eyes Wide Shut **** But I'd settle for a Jack or a Reacher from you anytime But how do I precipitate our connection, Rain Man? It just seems like Mission: Impossible. I stare vacantly into the Vanilla Sky As these Days of Thunder last too long Without you The difference is Knight and Day For in your Endless Love I was merely Collateral Now passively watch as I fall into Oblivion
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May 25, 2017
May 25, 2017 at 1:03 AM UTC
Cruising
He sat slouched Against the wall of the McDonald's Vacantly staring At the screen of his smartphone His bag lay next To him Keeping his world Together A spare pair of pants Underwear a luxury Broken shades on his face Drooping like his Body Straining to watch YouTube On the too small screen The only connection To the unreal world He wished He could Go home to
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Feb 4, 2014
Feb 4, 2014 at 9:15 PM UTC
Homelessly Connected
You never remember The conversations we have together. I hold them so close to heart – Like precious rare gem stones. You always gaze vacantly At that little buzzing screen. As I open up and pour my heart to you You are lost in a world faraway Perhaps if I text you You’d remember these moments too.
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Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014 at 11:53 AM UTC
Mid Lunch Conversations
To pick my brain I'll just lay here Have some pins and needles It's so fun walking on them Reeling Like a kick right to the feels In my heart In my soul Or, maybe my nuts As I grow old I've grown more cold, to the terror It whittles away and I simply admire it, vacantly It happens on the daily Change the ******* channel Every morning I look in the mirror And tell myself, "Life's a **** **** it." You **** that **** duderocketship. Filthy ***** Bawling my eyes out With a coat of smeared lipstick streaking my face It's my birthday. What a beautiful day for nuclear holocaust Good a day as any, I reckon To wine and dine on a feast of destruction While the world spontaneously combusts Somebody hand me a beer And we'll scale my collapsing cognitive function With a middle finger to The Man! I got a whole fist I'd fancy to ****** inside him This end of the world clock is broken and keeps ticking And I just listen Tick tick tock Waiting for the bomb Losing hope Idly twiddling my thumbs To go out with a bang is my lone desire It rattles my bones Set the world on fire Light up the night I just want to watch it burn There's a pretty nice view from my back porch Replacing the stars with torches Scorching a ravaged sky It's a party ****** Gandhi, & The Pope are coming Bring your friends I'm cringing yet effervescent In supple prepubesence His dead eyes ****** me Jesus wept
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Nov 14, 2015
Nov 14, 2015 at 5:06 PM UTC
Peel back my scalp
Why has he become such a desperate little child, It is due to the fact that he has grown wicked and wild, All this time cut off from the world has deemed him unholy, This child is becoming such a pesky little bully, With heart heavy and eyes ready to relieve their tears, "Is this the end, why am I here" he vacantly fears, Oh dear child with your upper lip cut, Just keep on fighting and trusting your gut.
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Aug 12, 2016
Aug 12, 2016 at 1:59 AM UTC
Child
A face I once knew disintegrates before me. You hold before me a mirror of the person I once knew, but it is no longer you who is looking through. Your eyes morph to stained glass silhouettes as of the flame of your being flickers to embers. The greater my cries, the quicker our demise. A cast of the woman I once knew vacantly looks through, and yet my heart still beats for you.
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Jan 9, 2024
Jan 9, 2024 at 10:52 PM UTC
Embers
I’ll trace the lines of a love poem With the tip of my generous tongue I’ll bend you over a sonnet pounding your heart with verse Until you come Closer to the slippery edge Of the highest haiku peak Pulsing cranes shoot from Sky following deep swallows Cascading heat wing The beat of the sextet Engorges the plump plum with tantalizing taste As the surging wind tickles swirling grass meadows A pirates plunder unbridled womanly chaste Riding my large prose with feminine pleasure Until both writhing bodies are drenched in chicken broth rain I will slather you in brilliant color As you vacantly stare ecstatic Groaning through the augustan age
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Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015 at 11:48 PM UTC
Love Poem
Cursor. Stare vacantly back at me.  A pair of rough hands scrape against cheeks.  My own.   A faint yet familiar soreness in the back of the throat.   Christmas lights procure rings of color on the walls and make still for an instant mounting apprehension. Count the days. Recount. Plan each day, hour by hour. Compelled to use them to their fullest potential. Productivity. Type without fear. Without concern for that looming pair of eyes to examine this. A verbalization of [my own dark thoughts] “It’s not good enough.” “ It’s garbage." Jagged hands. Jagged hands to delicate hairs on the back of the neck.  Above ear and pushed from forehead.  Soreness in throat keeps me [grounded].   Soreness in heart sends me to dream.   Soft groan escapes a pair of lips as a pair of eyes find a likeness captured in pixels.   Close it shut put it down look away deep breath in. Distract. Distract with learning. The inextinguishable desire to know, to see, to understand [this] existence. Will one day I allow for eyes not my own to bear witness to this love poem? This love poem to life, both in a particular and universal sense. With timid hands and trembling insides I surrender my words.
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Feb 1, 2014
Feb 1, 2014 at 11:20 PM UTC
My Words (All I Have to Offer)
My life feels like an empty coffee cup The buzz has past and only the specs That will be washed away remain My eyes stare vacantly as I turn Page on, page on, page My mind wandering away from the dictionary definition of the words on the page Searching for an answer Some motivation, a surge of energy Just one urge to move My sheets are not just where I sleep They are where I suffer A place where dreams come true But nightmares too Are people running to go someplace?
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Apr 17, 2021
Apr 17, 2021 at 12:10 PM UTC
The Buzz
The fact of the matter is that you Choose to believe There's no reprieve From this constant, continual... Consistent deceit This contraceptive perception Manifesting what you believe 'What happens once will come again' From that there's no relief That which you take heed from Is imprinted on your skin As if you can't reach within For matters intimate Second guessing and stressing While vacantly sedated Placating under false pretenses -Keeping sated -Faded Like you were the product Of this aftermath Attacking the apt capability Of all you lack -Underhanded In the most subtle approach This perpetual cognizant apparition Of these ghosts Furthermore They boast and beg recognition Putting prescriptions to their name Like defacing prepositions Could well esteem their fame I maintain that I refuse To be a product of the masses Drifting whimsically and making victims From my caprices The end result of my fate Never created hate Only this conditioned position From which I now must escape I'd rather sit Listen and contemplate Than justify my shame I'll take the pain Of my twisted thoughts Before letting them run astray No one pray for me Because I've done this once before And sanction I will find Within this mind Before I hit the floor
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May 2, 2018
May 2, 2018 at 11:46 AM UTC
Victim Mentality
I like the days, when I just sit Staring vacantly at the ceiling With a book of Bukowski upon my head Serious Osmosis going on. I go back, to days Days when we would just steal a traffic cone For the Hell of it – When being young was just doing What you could Because you could. I remember eating Nachos and apple crumble At 2am. Then watching a friend of mine Eating icecream one night with a ladle The next night screaming in the shower Out of apparent ‘excitement’. I remember when we would sit, You and I, Drinking and if the atmosphere wasn’t more Frosty than the arctic wind Then Dave the drunk added his two penceworth. When I had to fight off Dave and his Bovverboy. That was rather humerous Particularly by the fact that you nearly crapped yourself It was a good laugh I wish there could have been more times like that Ah well... Unlike most great works of art, this has no theme That holds it all together. I guess, like most undiscovered artists I just thought I’d write **** down And see where it went. Clearly, not very far.
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Nov 11, 2011
Nov 11, 2011 at 3:07 PM UTC
A Poem jus’ for Joss
“Wind, the continuous movement of Air is the link between all realms & dimensions carrying every form of communication from musical quarks to the sounds of silence”. Poet <~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> Wind, Angelic Air ! Beloved of my Sun sign I listen to bellows pounding sea rock boulders circling my spine in sharp dagger kisses divine I listen to you penetrating my marrow swirl icy chiming voice through mottled skin pulling hair, ********* throat uncensored …. my parched lips open as you rip dry logs to hear red ants scattering into darkened holes trolls vacantly watch wind arms across my shoulders I hold dripping amber, as you raucous relay score, hungry vultures and swallows chorus adore I walk songs, you unbutton word flames refraining dead locusts fall in wind tone lyrics whirling Beloved ! be still that I may touch your ***** feel cold notes ripple between your crescendos stroke your quavers, obedient to your baton soul bowing to your transmuting crotchets all I hear as you settle into playful breezes a teasing drama complete, is “I Love You” !
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Sep 9, 2025
Sep 9, 2025 at 6:28 AM UTC
Listen to the Wind
solicit the galling thoughts                                                   those obscenities   rigged gorily within                   victim concepts   taught distortion   forbidden carcass in the persisting sully of night                                             padded dreams pace    ******* at a fed distance       it's all in sight  and held racing back and forth  out of reach                      some sloven mystery under a cower of skin one day free of your agent cover                                         and you'll stand   vacantly able     under eye of the morgue creator mating together life habits    gracious goodness gratefully seeded you could maintain a patient pattern with practice you could go mainstream                                  -with practice
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Nov 20, 2022
Nov 20, 2022 at 1:50 PM UTC
an outpatient's prayer
Assembling a bouquet of flowers on my path toward home, an assortment of Hyacinth and Daffodil, Fern and Cherry Blossom and some other flowery **** that I managed to conjure; drunk, levee en masse du la fleur. I felt pity in the bottom of my stomach as I strode concrete turbulence across the road and toward the McDonalds. If I were a chicken it would have been no wonder why I had crossed the road but since I was a human being my reasons, experiences, hair colour, blood alcohol content and steel-stomach absenteeism furled into a tightly wound knot-of-motif. I stood and stared waiting to gain momentum. Peering at the swaying, sobbing mob waiting impatiently brazenly and vacantly for their shot at luke-warm burger patty adorned with onion that looks like little baby teeth and cheese so processed it will never melt, I realized that we both stood in ecstasy. And I stood, swaying in the breeze as all good drunkards do, blankly and inquisitively; I began to wonder what it was that I was witnessing. Did I want to participate in mindless habitué? spend my money on **** food that could hardly be considered as such? Stand in line, jaw hanging loose like a gorilla that had voluntarily dislocated his mandible so that he didn’t have to chew? wait for my shot at glory? This is glory: the bars had all closed, and now there was no haven for the drunk ****** to congregate better than the local gut-fill station. I took one final look at my squandered comrades, brains scrambled, disgusting. I hate you ******* ******* it I hate you all.
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Mar 28, 2013
Mar 28, 2013 at 3:51 AM UTC
Levee en masse de Fleur
Assembling a bouquet of flowers on my path toward home, an assortment of Hyacinth and Daffodil, Fern and Cherry Blossom and some other flowery **** that I managed to conjure; drunk, levee en masse du la fleur. I felt pity in the bottom of my stomach as I strode concrete turbulence across the road and toward the McDonalds. If I were a chicken it would have been no wonder why I had crossed the road but since I was a human being my reasons, experiences, hair colour, blood alcohol content and steel-stomach absenteeism furled into a tightly wound knot-of-motif. I stood and stared waiting to gain momentum. Peering at the swaying, sobbing mob waiting impatiently brazenly and vacantly for their shot at luke-warm burger patty adorned with onion that looks like little baby teeth and cheese so processed it will never melt, I realized that we both stood in ecstasy. And I stood, swaying in the breeze as all good drunkards do, blankly and inquisitively; I began to wonder what it was that I was witnessing. Did I want to participate in mindless habitué? spend my money on **** food that could hardly be considered as such? Stand in line, jaw hanging loose like a gorilla that had voluntarily dislocated his mandible so that he didn’t have to chew? wait for my shot at glory? This is glory: the bars had all closed, and now there was no haven for the drunk ****** to congregate better than the local gut-fill station. I took one final look at my squandered comrades, brains scrambled, disgusting. I hate you ******* ******* it I hate you all.
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29
I awoke to the absence of life I'm fond of; Whose conditions merit my apathy towards suicide. Found a cup of coffee in the *** waiting, begging, to get poured out. The feeling of a railroad spike driven into my skull has worked it's way from the back right section of the dome to my left eyeball. Lovely. I am at one with all the bullets, the dead hamsters, bent silverware, tacky ties, and broken fingers, the world over. Floating between the gravitational pull of two great monuments. A mutilated Zen. My personal handiwork. I want to stand in the ruins of one success. Instead I'm vacantly taking aspirin, finally okay with giving up. Quitting. I don't want to be an artist anymore. That spirit stapled to the spine, entwined to the softer parts of the brain, pretending to be a dream. Give up. Giving up is the scalpel for Quitting; self lobotomy. I don't have a surgeon's hands, but I'll settle for a surgeon's success. In dark sunglasses. The distance. A nameless faceless paycheck. Sipping on a bottle of ghosts to maintain a mere apathy. I don't sleep well.
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Jun 18, 2014
Jun 18, 2014 at 12:39 PM UTC
"Heaven by Default."