"twats" poems
We embarked upon a titanic voyage to a new world.
It’s said that behind every great man there's a great woman; But a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
7 bells rang late that night, as our ship stuck fast; between the devil and the deep blue sea.
Fingers frantic! tapping code…—-…
Sailors quickly battened down the hatches and stowed away the Riff-raff, for they knew fine words would butter no parsnips, Better here than there in third class.
Some fiddlers on the deck played “Nearer My God to Thee", As the bubbles rose from beneath the sea, come buckle down boys for the devils to pay, come hell or high water he’ll have his pay.
Mothers row, land lubbers row, it's time to leave this god forsaken place. pulling hard for freedom.
Ten steel decks split and snap, as they join the ***** and hundreds either shriek or pray; as La dolce vita slowly ebbed away.
Mercifully the cacophony descends ever silent, as fifteen hundred souls become neither fish nor flesh, rotting from the head down.
Save our souls •••- - - •••. … — …
Oct 10, 2018
Oct 10, 2018 at 4:15 PM UTC
Again the time has come for all to gather round the fire,
"That time again", we say, while we assess the money drained,
The looks of disappointment from the ***** with stupid attire,
And truth will leak from drink fuelled mouths, with need to be restrained.
Your mum is singing drunkenly, while flirting with the vicar,
And dad is out the back sneaking a joint with cousin victor,
The dog is ******* aunt Jemima's artificial leg,
And someone just had a turkey fart,the kind that makes you sicker.
The christmas lights have fused again, so grandad's on the roof,
Sheer will power keeps him up there,and of course, martini vermouth,
Grandma's lost her teeth,and someone screams near the eggnog,
They're sent flying across the room and land in the fire on a log,
You feel your patience slipping as the pandamoniem mounts,
With thankless moans of "Oh well, its the ****** thought that counts",
And not forgetting Glenn, invited by your mum, but why?
So you and he can marry, and honeymoon in Hawaii.
With no idea that Glenn is gay, i guess the joke's on her,
I mean, what straight guy wears his y fronts entirely made from fur??
The night draws to a close,as bitter, crying family leave,
And relief is all too short, as there's still new years eve!!!
Dec 20, 2009
Dec 20, 2009 at 7:54 AM UTC
I've just joined the Liberal Democrats,
My mates reckon they're all a bunch of *****
But I say "what do you know?",
"I've read their entire manifesto".
Well that was a lie,
If ever I've told one,
In truth I know maybe 5,
Policies of theirs and then I'm done.
But what's the point in all of this,
Cameron says "hug a hoodie",
What could be next?,
Give a burglar a kiss?
Oh well it's all a guessing game,
At the end of the day,
No politician has a sense of shame,
And no shortage of cash on their payday.
When I turn 18,
What do I do?,
Vote for the colour I like best,
Or speak the truth?
Debates and elections,
Aren't really democratic,
Cause no ministers have the courage,
To make their policies stick.
Jun 3, 2011
Jun 3, 2011 at 12:36 AM UTC
Quacking ducks
Dung throwers
Degenerate, opinionate
No plea for serenity
No chance for reverence
Only less politeness
Survival of the fittest
Hegemony of the crudest
Twitter for the *****
Mar 29, 2016
Mar 29, 2016 at 6:56 AM UTC
the Hebrews call the Greek myth of Icarus
by name: Lucifer - i know man is prone to plagiarism,
esp. in the religious realm, the easier the plagiarism
the easier the governing of men -
for indeed the Hebrews claimed
Icarus prior to the Greeks, the former with Lucifer
and the latter with Icarus -
but how i loathe peasants claiming
medicinal endeavours
of knowing only the spotlight cursors
to curate and environmental care of origin
of such negated ease,
they have no knowledge and no power,
their interests in the subject matter
would never encourage them
to run a marathon for accumulating funds
for a cancer charity -
one word answer? ***** they're basically
***** should have engaged in a family
life before you blamed me m.d.!
take your regressive anger and shove it
up your little bee magnet **** to take
a **** like extracting honey - now i'm ******
but look where i'm writing it: on a colour
of defeat - militant heaven of the archangel Michael
sword in hand and Satan defeated waggling a
tongue - isn't that importune to speak of
the current times with the defence of a freedom
of speech subdued by a fear of insult
demanding? monotheism did as much good
as it shouldn't have - and did as much evil
as it should have - and did, crafting the strict
labouring of judaism's orthodoxy -
so for each niqab there came the madness of
a jewish girl's care for wig - translated into
christianity as the donning of wigs in the 18th century,
and the 17th - bypass the concerns of
monotheists and you came across cuisine
freedoms of mandarin, and the colour backlash
sprinkling to a billionth birth, a land
where the homeless have a mother kamadhenu -
and celebrate Holi for chance of extracted mundane
hue of man polarised with fluorescent ivy
and x-rayed orange... or that's how the thing was said.
Apr 16, 2016
Apr 16, 2016 at 9:25 PM UTC
Aerial landing
A Dance of forever
Rutting and knitting
******* and a’ shakin’.
Headache clambake
Twitching *****
Versus numb neuters
Ever been a little of both?
The world tips, so that
Legs shake.
Do the twist-step
Mis-step
Misleading the flocks
See him hover, and
Warm all the *****
Feb 25, 2012
Feb 25, 2012 at 5:32 AM UTC
You were ****** up
Said what's up
And believe me,
You were so great.
Words poured
Like liquor adored
Your mind was awash
With everything your tongue spat.
You'd had enough
***** in the rough
Fists ready to bleed
You'd had enough of everything.
So yeah you hit your limit
Punched that **** with everything you had
Didn't figure you'd **** him, I know
Also in your defense, he was an *******
These ditzy little dollboy *****
Never realize when they've said enough
Twinkling eyes and bicurious brows
Reconsider their manners as they **** **** in Hell.
Ten-plus years and out for good behavior
A whole new life but nothing to savor
Old friend drops by to give you a ride
And you cruise off into forever.
Apr 26, 2014
Apr 26, 2014 at 3:41 PM UTC
quanta is better understood outside of physics,
on a grander scale -
quantum is a quality suggestion that
makes two (to, too) things auto-suggestive
as pertaining in the matter -
never mind - take the concept of quanta
out of physics and you get
a man readying himself for a controlled
coma having his wisdom teeth removed,
with the anaesθetician asking about
the readers' digest, the patient replying
quo vadis? / dokąd idziesz? then
the great sleep plateau - 'where are you going?'
puts any man off, whether boxer,
or paediatrician - ****** lays dead floored
for a minute, plays the dog game: play dead,
tongue hanging ready for a guillotine.
CHOP! and there goes the tail of a Doberman
(jamnik / dachshund on stilts)
and a ρoττł-
y
woo woo woo chim chimney
cha cha cha ooh
the rotting wail - rottweiler -
-ειλερ;
you never mention the u with the v due to
the chisel ease, then again, you don't
say double-o'h but say double u -
too shay frowning at a shave;
****** i'll make your language my playground
given all these post-colonial ***** aiming
for a signature and credentials,
this **** could pass the London brigade,
but take it to York, it would be a massacre
of a bureaucratic lapse of credentials...
a viking invasion more-or-less;
oh **** quantum physics, Charles Dickens
and the Victorian Era - Jack the Ripper the antonym,
both are the desired cages of energy requiring expression
to make testimony that such an age existed,
a particular congregate of expression, never universal,
boxes and pockets, however much inside one
is a question of your dietary requirement,
quantum physics is better explained with history
than hard science, and atoms, or the craze of subs,
people need a bigger picture, not everyone own
a ******* microscope or a telescope,
teach quantum physics using history:
Philippe Augustus of France mattered,
at the Battle of Bouvines - Otto IV? not so much.
Jun 26, 2016
Jun 26, 2016 at 7:45 PM UTC
Ever greet
Someone so
Sickly sweet?
Her candy
Apple red
Puckered lips.
Her minty
Fresh white
Glistening teeth.
Her short
Honey combed
Locks of
Angel hair.
Its all
Too much
For me
I swear.
The scent
Of acid
Cotton candy
Penetrates the
Small room.
Innocently dressed
Classically groomed.
With a
Smile that
Says "I
Could just,
Like be
Your bestfriend!
I'll try
To hop
On your
Boyfriends ****
If you
Turn your
Back for
Just one
******* second!"
Call me
A sour
***** but
I hate
The fake
Super sweet
Little *****
That walk
Around like
Theyre the
**** like
They've got
Some god
Given right
To act
Like fake
Crowd pleasing
***** *******
I'll fill
Your face
With bruises
And stitches.
Mar 5, 2015
Mar 5, 2015 at 6:49 PM UTC
1) help endures even the worst pumpernickel shortbread ***** but understanding outweighs that of the pessimistic drug lords squatting in **** ridden sandlots.
2) compassion is for the virtuistic harlequins.
3) underestimating the estimatable is the idea, even under a load of unsettling emotions. just hoard them in your fannypack.
4)the *** next door may make your head spin, and the typewriter might make your nails crack. but, beyond all of that, there lies an undisclosed truth. one that neither the walls nor the space bar underneath your thumb will ever know:
I am here, and this is now.
Jul 1, 2012
Jul 1, 2012 at 10:20 AM UTC
Inspiration from making amazing quotations
The nation's defending its life with its shields
But the swords are all rusted the kingdom's been busted
and the ******* are bathing in gold that they steal
While the people are lying their babies are crying
their rhythm is dying 'cause heartbeats are gone
But they carry it trying to stop themselves crying
as they can't do nothing but watch on and on
As the bankers get richer the poor men get poorer
the ones in the middle are learning to steal
Where before they just borrowed now they got new sorrow
but still they don't know that they ain't down at heel
They think they are poor so they vote in the richest
just hoping the ******* will keep them in funds
While the genuine destitute lie in the street
and the taxes are funding those twats' cummerbunds
There's a baby who's crying not just 'cause she's some brat
who ain't got no ice cream she's dying of cold
Yes it happens in streets prob'ly near where you live
it isn't just something in stories of old
There are people out there in the gorbals and barrios
the projects the banlieues the hoods and the schemes
Where their lives are the ghetto there is no way out
but to hope or to rap or to wing on a dream
They ask why you ain't reading you try but it's killing you
trying to provide for a family of two
When your mother's alone lying slumped on the sofa
and work w-w-working is all you can do
When the **** do you think I'm supposed to be doing
this **** that you say I cannot live without?
If you listened to lyrics from songs you disparage
you might start to feel an iota of doubt
They're intelligent, eloquent, more so than you
with your old boy school accent and ballot box blue
Can you rap, can you rhyme, can you keep it in time
can you tell of the **** that your family's been through?
No you sit in your office and scoff at the people
who spend their whole lives in a world that is real
They don't give a **** if you judge them or not
but they just want to shout at you
FEEL, ****** FEEL
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 11:54 AM UTC
Teenie bopper
Tweenie bopper
Anorexia for the ratings
Skimpy internet clothing barely hiding
Obese baby fat like strangled whales
******** posing daddy complex
In your I-Phone mirror
Nobody cares
Raised in a million dollar ghetto
Love craved lunatics
Drunk on a thousand TV eyes
Pregnant from the womb since birth
Young ***** stretching for an audience
Burgeoning syphilisation nation
Cash in while you’re still fertile
The more crying
The bigger the ratings
The more babies
The bigger the paychecks
Your Dad should’ve pulled out
Your Mom should’ve had your fetus aborted
Mar 5, 2012
Mar 5, 2012 at 9:55 PM UTC
Gorging my eyes with the non-sense and the ******** of the internet.
Feeding my mind the comical lives of those on reality TV.
Is this really what the world has come to?
Our lives consumed with your lives,
consumed with their lives,
consumed with our lives.
Twitter ***** toast to tweeting.
Tweet your lives away you ******
Who thought that a piece of paper could be so powerful?
Who thought a piece of paper would dominate mans will?
Who thought a piece of paper could lead to our destruction?
Who thought a piece of paper could make a man ****
President painted on each paper.
"Look at all those Benjamins!" you shout.
I highly doubt,
that the founding fathers would want to be on a piece of paper,
a piece of corruption,
a piece of destruction.
We have destroyed what the founding fathers built.
A land of freedom, justice, and pride,
is now a kingdom to the modern day CEO's,
and the fame ridden ***** that patrol our TV's.
The average actor makes more in one movie than the year round shopkeeper.
A man who devotes his life to supplying the public with proper products and good service,
makes less than a man who does something that we don't even need.
We need food, water, and all the shopkeepers supplies.
But do we really need a movie?
I did not know entertainment was higher on Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
I would like to see you solely survive off of a movie.
I feel bad for my children.
The children of the future in general.
That is, if we live that long.
They are going to have it rougher than me.
And sadly,
I alone cannot make their future better for them.
Only we, as one, can make it better.
But,
that will never happen.
We are divided,
our will, divided,
our minds, divided,
our spirits, divided.
We will never be one again.
With that said and done,
I'm going to finish my dinner now.
Nov 26, 2012
Nov 26, 2012 at 10:05 PM UTC
up n down
like the proverbial ****** drawers
servin hors doeuvres
to rich *****
bein rinsed by cheap escorts
hands raw
work eight days a week
to be paid for four
make much more
on her back were she as debauched
with the petite bourgeoisie
tucking in to her
as the main course
Mar 15, 2016
Mar 15, 2016 at 5:43 AM UTC
Oh to be outstanding
The envy of the competition
Persecute your staff
Beat them into submission
Observe, observe, observe
Big brother's watchful vision
Ticking the right boxes
OFSTED the clinical prison.
Countdown to the tension
All pristine and plush
Staff room full of imodium
Lecturers with the bums rush.
Enjoy, achieve, the mantra
All students must behave
Differentiation ********
Woah betide should 1 disengage.
Good with outstanding features
Nearly there, thou shalt not rest
Cut the ******** principal
Its really second best.
Satisfactory & beyond
The prin is hot to trott
Arranging special measures
You'll all be ****** shot.
OFSTED, jack boot people
Gestapo in the making
Strangling education
Ensuring you're all faking.
Inspectors, nah! Failed teachers
Getting their own back
Splitting hairs & picking faults
Nasty ****** *****
Oh how the mighty fall
So without further ado
Leave them teachers alone
OFSTED, you ***** **** YOU.
May 24, 2015
May 24, 2015 at 3:56 AM UTC
***** tweeting while they view others from outside the goldfish bowl of two Facebook. Their vision obscured by the very fabric of their fake existence inside a lemmings computer application. Not yet locked into the system as they simulate a life not truly their own as they outwardly pretend to be popular yearning for universal acceptance from a computer screen. In stark contrast to those locked into the system yearning to escape from the drudgery of another night on the M1!
Dec 18, 2014
Dec 18, 2014 at 4:48 PM UTC
My generation
Is completely ******
Poisoned by radiation ?
Or squashed be terrorist trucks ?
We have mass shootings
At least once a week
We've got global warming
Over which we "debate" via tweets
Some ***** say
Lets fix Mars and go live there
Open your ******* eyes
The big problem is here
Some of us preach acceptance
Saying to love no matter what
I tell you it's deception
Now he's going to hell because he loves a man
Someone kills them-self
Every 40 seconds
Wake up for gods sake
It's the second leading cause of death
We're destroying ourselves
Twelve year old kids
With anorexia
A few thousand wrists were slit
This past November
A step out of the norm
And you'll be excluded
Everything screams CONFORM CONFORM
IF YOU FAIL TO DO SO YOU WILL BE EXECUTED
I could go on forever
But I've made my point
Deep down we all hurt
But we're all in **** up to our necks
The society is rotten and perverse
The world is wrecked
There's nothing for us here
We get a dried up earth
Unbreathable air
We're ******* cursed
It's really not surprising
We all want to die
That we're the most depressed generation
(also the gayest tho lol)
You high ups had better ******* do something
Or we're all gonna die
No more future generation
The human race is falling to it's doom
Get your act together ***** **** mother *******
Aug 6, 2019
Aug 6, 2019 at 7:21 AM UTC
Hey, my kitchen angel,
Eyes of ocean blue,
Dream from the depths of sleep,
True vision of sweet you.
My time is free tomorrow,
The day I clear have off.
My prying glance you may notice,
As I grab from our staff trough.
Your break I want
Your time I need!
Spare no extra minutes,
To these ***** you must feed!
Now, i'd love to see you beforehand,
For me, it would bring total bliss.
Pics of your night with a diva,
Long for, I do, from the girl I'll miss.
Dec 30, 2012
Dec 30, 2012 at 3:39 PM UTC
All these political ideas,
Some good and some bad,
Everything is just one big matter of opinion,
A matter of opposition,
Debate,
Chaos and war should cease,
But some powerful leaders use both as an attempt to find peace,
Or not,
To me they seem confused,
Bemused,
Could it be that these madmen want absolute power?
Of course it does,
Government is just oppressive.
When will the madness end?
And the killing?
The war?
The slavery of women and children?
The making of ******
When will the government stop causing pain?
I don't mean to pry Mister Prime Minister but how many promises do you keep?
Under your rule how many children weep every day?
How much blood is spilled for the governments sake?
How many war confused sailors drown in the sea?
Afganistan's going down well don't you think?
Hows Osama?
Seen much of him recently?
Could it be that you know nothing?
I'm starting to think that your not fit for this role.
I have some demmands mister useless Prime Minister man,
Do something about this decaying world instead of letting it rot!
Do something to help!
You shouldn't need a teenage anarchist poet to tell you that,
Now do your job,
Get up off your **** and motivate the rest of you liberal politician *****
Rant over.
Feb 21, 2011
Feb 21, 2011 at 5:45 AM UTC
We are a nation of immigrant mutts
mutated by instant entertainment,
the faceless muddled by Facebook,
***** tricked down by twitter,
**** MySpace what we need is
our space.
A place better left for tomorrow, if the sun itself doesn't fall in our laps, just to show us what it means to burn.
Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 1:41 PM UTC
New World Stratification, Fractalised Parallelized Reality;
A Re-Ordering; Stacked ***** and *********
And myriad ****** Bags to Fuel Our Fires.
Whilst <Wishlist?> I didn't open the Doors Originally,
I cracked the Dawn and others pushed through
Avalanche- and Stampede-style.
But the Foolish Simpletons didn't realise
The inherent Dangers of their Giddy-fun;
Not All Other Worlders or Other UniVerses/DieMentions
Are Populated with nice, courteous, civil Peoples.
What did I {WE} invite to roost at home?
And have we (as a bunch of egotistical Hoes)
Captured Them on Film (Cells); in Flesh; in Fetish; in Flame {US}?
I'm super curious about the Parasitic Classes:
As are the Predators & Warriors , & the Other Net-Cast Members.
I'm not the Christ you Imagine - Not Me! I'm Innocent!
I was the Messiah --> The Sacrifice for God's Reality.
But God isn't what He seems, far from it. He feeds on your Souls.
I AM a self-made Man/UniVersal/Multi-Dimensional Being,
And while God thought He could trap me, He was wrong!
I don't stop - I can't stop - I won't stop - until I'm satisfied She's satisfied
That I've explained, or at least considered, All
Possibilities from a Human's consideration.
[Please note that Human's are few and far between, and rarely what they seem.]
Mar 7, 2014
Mar 7, 2014 at 3:44 PM UTC
who says
ignorance is bliss?
well, I'll be ******
imagine ignorant *****
surrounding situations
that are in dire attention.
an example of ignorance
is when truth wipes itself
in the face of stupidity,
stupidity can still question,
what is the truth,
in those truths.
imagine being trapped
in a locked glass case,
and having someone
holding the key to it;
but chose to turn heads
and walk away.
reflecting,
maybe ignorance isn't bliss,
maybe ignorance is just
a mask of idiocracy;
and I've been to a ball–
full of masquerades.
Mar 3, 2018
Mar 3, 2018 at 8:28 AM UTC
"so you're okay?"
"well, no. not really. not at all. And I apologize for the absolute mess in my place.. fruit flies and all. I've been in a state of depressed apathy at dishes for the past 2 weeks."
"it's a little gross, but nothing I haven't seen before. Listen.. you're gonna be fine. As deep as you're hurting, you're gonna be fine."
"I'm just not sure if I believe that kind of rhetoric anymore. It's almost political; 'you're gonna be okay. don't **** yourself, don't **** yourself,' it'd be an inconvenience to the whole structure of what keeps us alive.. how do we explain this fellows misery to the point of self-inflicted death? how can we keep things flowing if everyone's looking over in anguish at this little ***** corpse?"
"it's always been your choice.. to live or die. it's a spider-wed effect in the way it impacts others, though.. it gives them something heavy that some become anchored with for the rest of their lives."
"then you're telling me to live for everyone else. that's all I live for sometimes; because I can't stand to think how the people who have hurt me would feel about themselves if I took my life. The endless blame game they'd play in their heads.. and the questions those who loved me would have.. not regarding my death.. but regarding their lives in the wake of my blood-stained absence."
"I'm not quite sure what to say to that."
"Listen.. I've considered drowning all of my misery in a nihilistic dance with life.. *** drugs, shameless self-promotion.. but I just don't think I have it in me to stop loving. And that means I don't have it in me to stop feeling. And that means I don't have it in me to keep living. Not forever. Not for long. I'm just waiting for me to save my life, but I'm not coming, because I don't exist. I'm at the hotel counter waiting for the clerk to come out from the back office so I can check out."
Sep 14, 2013
Sep 14, 2013 at 10:19 PM UTC
Philosophy. Elegance. Yet Sense un-done
That Time-by-Time those Bantered ***** retweet
Which - by Fair - smoke these Elements become
Breathe Conscience into Sage; And thus we meet
If only should your Fresh Convention wear
Prune these Forceps to your Young Tridents fixed
At least a Wee - and a Wee bit of hear
Some Owl's Downey Feathers make to your Mix
And what I offer - if Offer be Creed
My Base Mortal Template bound to Annoy
Was simply to Watch; And respond to your Need
Though my Voice un-qualify to your Ploy.
At least I Tried. Though surpass Dimension
Usurper I be; Though Honest Intention.
Mar 22, 2013
Mar 22, 2013 at 7:46 PM UTC