"tories" poems
Maybe it was Best for this Reindeer-Line
To Fix what should have been Fixed since ages
Or tie this Noose which lost all its Define
Then nod dearly at those Long-Horned Rages
But how, Prince, could you bear this Entropy
Even when Tories tell you to Conserve?
Such Lust, needled to their Empathy
May have Forgotten what you long Deserve
Twice that Life-Spoken Meme; And now the Third
Gushes well-rained Merriments from this Cloud
Pray, that soon admit this Settlement, heard
And invest their Songs and Prayers out Loud.
Come, take this Hymn, and sing-along with me
How greatly Petitioned; Yet not to Be.
Mar 12, 2013
Mar 12, 2013 at 11:38 PM UTC
Tradition! The Pope's Grand Inquisitor
And Champion of Tories and White-Hats alike
Long have we burned by Gomorrah's Sponsor
With ***** salt our Nails to crucify
That you by nature have never been wrong
Since from my origin I took Respect
But that Pink Exercise training that strong
Was too much for your Pride to interpret
So you sent your Armies to **** our Cause,
Those Innocent Seeds we died to preserve
Quoting the Organ's Functions as our fault
Then getting the Whipping we all deserve.
My Message, kind Sir, is that Object
Which you must Observe; Which you must Reflect.
Mar 12, 2013
Mar 12, 2013 at 11:30 PM UTC
At last these Plums took the Daughter in Kind
From Lord Raffles' Paradise she adored
A Marriage of Saints she thought to remind
Though behind her Door was Melancholy.
But who a Pony-Child in Fashion's New
Could taste the Recipe she may not like?
Clotted Cream? Or Fish in the River-View
Tore through the Muddy Dress to greet her Delight
This is not the Age, Tories of the West
To switch on Lights dimmed for your Books to read
She is a Sweet-Tooth; Or Filmer at best
Just give her a Spoon; She makes one Great Mead.
She is my Friend. And the Plum's Diver Son
Rewarded a Follow never un-done.
Mar 9, 2013
Mar 9, 2013 at 4:39 AM UTC
No, I’d rather not have a foursome,
I don’t think you’re onto a winner.
If I wished to disappoint several people at once,
I’d take my family out to dinner.
No, I’d rather not have a foursome,
The thought of it makes me quite ill!
Besides the new season of Bake Off is on -
Give me Netflix but not the chill.
No, I’d rather not have a foursome.
It’s not really my cup of tea,
Like Boy George I kinda prefer that to ***
I’m mostly asexual you see?
No, I’d rather not have a foursome.
It’s the government’s fault, I’d say,
The Tories have ******* us multiple times;
I’ve been ******* over enough today
No, I’d rather not have a foursome.
Today, mate, you’re just not in luck,
Like spoons I only have so much to give,
And I gave away my last ****
No, I’d rather not have a foursome,
With you and two other “bi chicks”,
My sexuality isn’t yours to fetishize,
And you [insert name] are a ****
Nov 5, 2015
Nov 5, 2015 at 5:19 PM UTC
Go on, file a paper,
make an imaginary notice of imaginary things,
and build on this a physical entity.
See how deaf the masses will go,
from hearing the Latin tongue:
parchment, and paper,
tomes of dust and sand.
Make a rule because you can,
and cement again the fetters,
our fathers and mothers cleft in twain.
Ireland is still an English land,
while English law remains.
Tories breed like rabbits,
so don't ask me what's wrong,
why you're unsatisfied with your oppression,
why enough is never enough,
till the colonial fetish is propagated,
into every heart and mind there,
worked deep into the furrows of our holy ground.
Will you never have done?
Are you not content with your own misery,
without inflicting it on others?
Is it not enough to be in chains,
but to love and ****** those chains?
Oh mighty sculptors of our race,
chip chip away and see what's left.
May 14, 2015
May 14, 2015 at 4:50 PM UTC
If you go down to Westminster today you're in for a big surprise
If you can stand the stench, you will not believe your eyes
For all the MPs who have lied and lied have all quit before the people uprise
For this is the week that parliament collapses.
******** it time for the Blairites, who don't know who to back for their best
******** it time for the Tories, as Daves walked away from his mess
The Labour deputy is such a coward and like the chancellor has lost his voice
Because they realise the people no longer want them.
So if you go south to parliament you best beware of knives
Labour have turned into Tories and only Jezza survives.
They think they can push him off a cliff, more chance of Dave being stuck in a pig
The week the war came back to haunt the Blairites!
But if go down to tip you hat and stand against Corbyn
Beware back home they petittion to do you knees like you did his
Your voters whom you have ignored and ignored are looking to throw you out the door
So grab your coat and don't forget your sister!!!!
But one more thing if you think this is cut and drawn
Remember Farage, Boris Gove and the irritable bowel one
None have so far grown a pair, they want to give someone else the blame
Because half the country has changed its mind again!!!
Jul 9, 2016
Jul 9, 2016 at 5:38 PM UTC
Don't cry baby.
Your daddies gone off hunting.
He wants to get a trophy.
Just so you can see.
What a clever boy he's been!
Introduction to a child of everything that's mean.
Daddy tell your little kid.
Of all the vile things you did.
Bet you can't, bet feel ashamed.
Of taking part in cruel sport and labelling it a game.
"Son, daddy fox is called a dog.
Mummy fox a *****
Baby foxes little cubs soppy as a kitten"
A spot of education..
Hell hounds have a job to do, apparently.
Together, language of us common folk will paint the sky bright blue.
"Jackanory".
***** story.
Written by the Tories.
For fox sake keep the ban.
Speak out loud while we still can!
(c)Livvi
Jul 14, 2015
Jul 14, 2015 at 6:00 PM UTC
I love the British weather especially the sun
But I really can't stand the rain
And I love the smell of fish and chips
It just meddles with my brain
I love the coasts that we possess
Even the Blackpool shore
And to see the way my children play
Makes me love them even more
I love the nitty gritty of politics
Although I'm not to keen on the tories
Their quite happy to cut this and that
Amongst their sordid stories
I love our sporting culture
But I can take or leave the glamorous WAGS
All bling and silly makeup
And the nice Gucci bags
I love our capital London
Especially Leicester Square
Don't understand our Queen though
With her funny little stare
And finally I love the nature
From the Hebrides to John O groats
Where the people are very rural
As they tend to their pigs and goats
May 28, 2016
May 28, 2016 at 6:41 PM UTC
you make me
a self fulfilling prophecy
so well played
you'd hand his ****
to machiavelli
what you don't see
is all you'll lose
to claim your bounty
what you taught me
is that you have to die
for my life to have had meaning
Jan 9, 2019
Jan 9, 2019 at 8:40 AM UTC
My name is Adam
I’m intelligent and handsome and modest
6”4
your type on paper
I can reach the shelves
you can’t
I’m just a normal guy
I wear the trousers
I’m the type to take you to the zoo
I also have one tattoo
I’m like Marmite
keep your expectations low
Open-minded
no Tories
I can’t promise anything but
I did something funny once
I’m very laid back
swipe right if you don’t eat the pizza crusts
I’m always up
for a good time
I’m an all-round average guy
and a part-time Taylor Swift tribute act
I’ll tell you how it is
some people call me a hero
what more could you want?
Sep 7, 2017
Sep 7, 2017 at 6:31 PM UTC
They're dropping bombs on Syria.
It's Tories to the centre left,
or ****** policy to welfare,
my neighbour to my neighbour.
397 to 223,
or 40 million to the rest.
Dec 3, 2015
Dec 3, 2015 at 6:26 PM UTC
Labour are red
Tories are blue
Both need the Liberals
Their votes were too few
We want, we all said
A hung parliament coup
Carelessly wished for
Now all coming true
There's economic dread
So what shall we do
We can't decide which we like
Yellow, red or blue
Campaigning not bed
A decision to rue
More sleep is postponed
So Clegg they can woo
The rivals must wed
A coalition stew
Strong stable unity
Or chimps in a zoo?
Some policies now dead
Others they'll pursue
The only thing certain
Is that cuts are in view
So raise up your head
And herald the new
And if someone's in charge
Please tell me who.
May 7, 2010
May 7, 2010 at 2:38 PM UTC
A system I was forced
A chance I wasn't given
The only thing that can destroy me is a change of course
A ray of light i saw years ago
led to a tunnel of unapologetic truths
Nothing since then has gone by slow
Why do I persist to stay
I know not the answer
maybe, perhaps, I will one day
Oct 4, 2013
Oct 4, 2013 at 1:56 AM UTC
The UK General Election has run its course.
A “win” for the Conservative Tories
With most votes and seats
Though they lost their parliamentary Majority,
And can only govern
By doing a deal with the Northern Irish DUP
Who oppose the rights of gays and women
And want to bring back hanging.
Yet Labour too are celebrating a win:
Halving the gap between the Tories and themselves
And winning loads of votes and seats.
OK they finished fifty odd seats behind,
But hey!
And then the Libdems “won” four more seats.
Plus The Greens held Brighton by a merry mile.
The Scottish Nationalists still got thirty five seats,
In spite of Nicola Sturgeon calling for
Another referendum on independence.
Sinn Fein in Northern Ireland got more seats too.
And the Welsh limited their damage by Labour.
“Winners” all, except for UKIP.
That’s politics.
Until the next election.
Which might be fairly soon.
Paul Butters
Jun 11, 2017
Jun 11, 2017 at 5:48 AM UTC
Far past Fardels which these Signals carry
Any but Glitches pend we may conclude
That for intent Somber Moments tarry
Only to apply such Best Bet in you
So why do your Spot-Clouds drizzle Reason,
If Reason for Reason's Sake mark Reason's End?
Whilst by the Hand - cryonised by Treason
For whose Party those Tories do Amend
Yet prove this - in Waxing most Trodden Floors
Mostly encourage to Slip and Defect
Yet as we Lie - Hymns imprint on those Doors
Cruising our Handles to Resurrect.
And let the Will - in his own ****** Soul
With Clasping Hands seep a Part of your Whole.
May 4, 2013
May 4, 2013 at 5:10 PM UTC
The culling is unnecessary,
It is like the slaughter of the innocent,
They scatter across the UK,
The ****** list. Is looking for them.
The cowardly and cheap way out,
The opinion of the weak,
Stupidity is in their brain,
The urge to slaughter is spreading.
Stop the cull,
Stop the cull,
Animals have the right to live,
Down with TORIES!
We've had enough,
We will not be pushed around,
The culling is unnecessary,
It is the slaughter of the innocent.
Jan 24, 2015
Jan 24, 2015 at 3:59 PM UTC
Lets hear it for the penniless street beggars:
Tories call them unemployed working ****
Let's hear it for every
****** up woman filtered
in tight cotton lace knickers.
The same lies over and over.
We are... in this together.
The exposure of Gordon Browne coverage
just another political propaganda
twisted by a bunch of crooks
in corporate suits.
The Youth learning to defend
fighting for the futile future.
Students are the enemy
Cameron hero of the hour.
The same lies over and over...
we are really ******* up in this together.
Nov 5, 2015
Nov 5, 2015 at 5:02 PM UTC
Northern, Eastern, Western and South of our land is in great trouble
There's nothing to make, craft or do, jobs falling by double
We've lost all of our skills, mines, industries factories
None of the closed business will ever move back here
We were living the high life with Blair and his magical funding
Unaware the ground was falling beneath us and crumbling
Conditioned in good times and taken for granted
Now the shock is too much to handle
All prices up! Minimum wage no longer exists
European competition has seen to this
Competing with ex-slave labour
Who are prepared to work for peanuts and good favour
Tories fooling, ‘Ha ha there is no North and South divide’
While hammering the poorest, robbing us of all remaining pride
As he stands in Teesside he thinks it’s the Tyne
What hope does the UK have with such ignoramus Tory crime
With no hope of work futures look grim
Once happy people now stressed to the brink
We watch and listen about the mythical recovery
I think to myself, ‘London must be some far away country!’
Jul 26, 2014
Jul 26, 2014 at 9:56 AM UTC
he made
from pain
with the
Tories from
their toils
nigh a
face still
trade marketwise
the index
that amble
a women
below the
paragon of
the future
and prioritize
the union
of counterpart
Sep 9, 2019
Sep 9, 2019 at 8:00 AM UTC
(20 minute poetry)
There will be homeless this
Christmas,
some not so old,
There will be homeless this
Christmas,
out in the cold and
there'll be warmth and wine
for some, that's quite fine
this Christmas.
And while the Tories tell stories of pixies and elves
there will be beggars on Broadway who talk to themselves,
this Christmas.
(Let us not forget the poor folk who've yet to find a place to call their home)
Merry Christmas.
Sleigh bells ring,
Noise abatement!
the police attend and
take a statement,
nothing goes right
there's no
Silent night
It's a party in the
West end
wonderland.
Dec 14, 2015
Dec 14, 2015 at 7:44 PM UTC
Tories are running for their primms
Indian summer of their wilted reign
Twelve years of spreading marmite
Child Q to Rwanda
London Police in special measures
The fabrics of civility collapse
as the spiders enmesh us
within their web of lies
Jul 11, 2022
Jul 11, 2022 at 5:02 AM UTC
It Seems ... Mr. Ross ...
Has BROKEN Some ... " Boundaries " ...
But ... If It's Not Him ...
It's That Man ... " Ali G " ... !!!
Or Maybe A ... " Pundit " ...
On Late Night TV ... ?!?
But ...
Shows That They're SLAMMING ...
Claim To Be ... " Comedies " ... ?!?
Can Someone Explain ...
How They Get On ... TV ... ?!?
" Have I Got News For You "
Is On ... BBC ...
As is ... Mr. Ross ...
But NOT ... Ali G ...
Channel 4 ... Is The Channel ...
Where He Seems To Be ...
But ...
Now They're Complaining ...
That Things They Are Saying ...
AREN'T Really ... " Funny " ... !?!
But ...
THIS Is ... LONG After ...
Execs' Get MONEY ... !!!
NOT Just Celebs' ...
But THOSE ... TV Heads ...
Who CLAIM That ... " The Edit " ...
Didn't Get To ... THEIR DESK ... !?!
So ....
What Were They Doing ... ?
Instead of ... Tape Viewing ... ?!?
Now ...
That Is A Thought ...
To Leave Your Mind ... " Stewing " .............
See ...
THIS Is ... " The Problem " ...
With Critics and ... " Liberals " ...
THEY ... Twist and Turn ...
Like ... " Arjen Robben " ... !!!
It's OKAY To USE Blacks ...
For ... SHAMELESS Displays ...
EVEN If A GREAT MANY ...
DON'T Behave THAT Way ... !?!
But Some SILLY Blacks ...
Are READY To Say ...
" Don't worry i'll do it ! "
Just For A ... " PAYDAY " ... !!!
That's Just My View ...
Cos' TV ... Is SEE THROUGH ...
DON'T EVER Be Fooled ...
They KNOW What They Do ...
These SHOCK VALUE Stories ...
Remind Me of ... TORIES ... !!!
and Like ... MOST of Them ...
THESE Stories Just Bore Me ... !!!
I Thought This Was WHY ...
We Have The ... " Watershed " ... !?!
Cos' ...
By The Time ... Half Past Nine ...
Shouldn't Kids Be IN BED ... ?!?
Parents ... Be CAREFUL ...
Which Channel You PRESS ... !!!
Cos' Your Child May Just Be ... ???
REPEATING ... What Is Said ...
On ... Late Night TV ...
To Get Some STREET CRED' ... !!!
This Is MY Belief ...
It's Those SAME TV Chiefs ...
That PUT ... FOUL-MOUTHED Actors ...
On .... " Comic Relief " ....
They KNOW What They're Doing ...
They SET UP ... SHOCK Viewing ... !!!!!
From Soaps Like ... " Eastenders " ...
To ... Late Night Agendas ...
To ...
CONJURE UP ... Figures ...
From Ali G ... " WIGGERS' " ...
To RAPPERS Who YES ...
Are REALLY ... Gold Diggers ... !!!
Who Just Try To ... SHOCK ...
With Words That They've Got ... !!!
THESE Rap Battles Generate ...
MILLIONS of Sales ... !!!!!!
Don't You SEE ... ?
Thats' The Plot ...
DON'T Sit and COMPLAIN ...
Cos' The Lot We've Now Got ...
Is Running ... AMOK ...
Somewhat Like ...
... Your SNOT ... !!!
Whatever Has Happened ...
To .... TECHNOLOGY .... ?!?
Unless The Show's LIVE ...
Can't They Just Use The BLEEP ... ?!?
EVEN If The Show's LIVE ...
I Suggest They Start Using ...
Technology ... " Tricks " ...
And Then THIS Whole PROBLEM ...
Could Simply Be ... FIXED ...
PROFANITY Is ...
Part of ... REALITY ...
And REALITY Is ..
A Reflection of ... " WE " ...
The Image of ... YOU ...
And The Image of ME ...
I Hope ... This Little Poem ...
Has Helped You To SEE ...
That ...
ALL of This ... NONSENSE ...
Is Simply Just ... BLEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPP ... !!!!!!
And THAT Is My View ...
On These **** ...
.... " Boundaries " ....
Nov 3, 2019
Nov 3, 2019 at 5:26 PM UTC
A shortage of women
In power, means those who
reach the Top are
mostly Tories.
Aug 2, 2017
Aug 2, 2017 at 8:55 AM UTC