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"timing" poems
Lurid pressure in perfect hiding, Heat rises amidst quiet timing. Covers conceal fingers, And skin conceals- Well, Only from the blinded. Flitting breath from lungs to neck, Begging tongue, And baiting breast. Tentative flesh, Upon tentative flesh, What comes next? Anything I want, If this is, Yes.
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Dec 12, 2018
Dec 12, 2018 at 10:03 PM UTC
Body Language, Before and Beneath
Route 84 would not lend me the light of a star last night Radio blazing at 75 mph nonsense noise to chew gum by Crackling political commentary Static of distance and thick clouds Invisible mountains blocking Memories seeping through the cracks coating the music in a film I rub my eyes watch myself punch alert buttons But it’s the angels’ jukebox tonight Roll down the window Watch the heat escape Summer again I am building a castle of ancient stones pulverized by relentless tides Dragged across maps by mastodons and mammoth glaciers The scouring hiss the ocean sighs Time has lulled these smoothly rolling them in the softest hands of sand and gels of life’s comings and goings tenderly tumbling in the millionth moonrise— Time deposits them here wet and glistening For the girl with the plaid two-piece to gather Shoulders sun-burnt barely say one week only, one week of the fifty two “It’s the time of the season…” and daddies on the beach are watching…. She has chosen yet another stone And the castle continues— in oblivion to all but her legend…      The queen will be safe here      from the rabble      The disgraced Tristan will surely seek her      Among these lofty cliffs      Between the raging circuit of the tide      Here winds forbid the vengeful mob      Here lovers learn      the debt of love’s bad timing      “Drink ye all of it!”      --the potion that assigns our sorrow….      She will not sleep—      while I chew this gum--  GUM? Roll down the window! Angels escape with the heat Waking me with the brush of their wings As that eighteen-wheeler hugs my flank And leans on the horn Lights flashing Rude rumbling under right tires Tantrum of snow In the draft of mass and velocity …and the angels? They’ve chosen another good one! They must’ve liked the 80’s Their wings slapping the windshield madly   Their hands steady the wheel
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Sep 13, 2016
Sep 13, 2016 at 1:20 PM UTC
Angel's Jukebox
Route 84 would not lend me the light of a star last night Radio blazing at 75 mph nonsense noise to chew gum by Crackling political commentary Static of distance and thick clouds Invisible mountains blocking Memories seeping through the cracks coating the music in a film I rub my eyes watch myself punch alert buttons But it’s the angels’ jukebox tonight Roll down the window Watch the heat escape Summer again I am building a castle of ancient stones pulverized by relentless tides Dragged across maps by mastodons and mammoth glaciers The scouring hiss the ocean sighs Time has lulled these smoothly rolling them in the softest hands of sand and gels of life’s comings and goings tenderly tumbling in the millionth moonrise— Time deposits them here wet and glistening For the girl with the plaid two-piece to gather Shoulders sun-burnt barely say one week only, one week of the fifty two “It’s the time of the season…” and daddies on the beach are watching…. She has chosen yet another stone And the castle continues— in oblivion to all but her legend…      The queen will be safe here      from the rabble      The disgraced Tristan will surely seek her      Among these lofty cliffs      Between the raging circuit of the tide      Here winds forbid the vengeful mob      Here lovers learn      the debt of love’s bad timing      “Drink ye all of it!”      --the potion that assigns our sorrow….      She will not sleep—      while I chew this gum--  GUM? Roll down the window! Angels escape with the heat Waking me with the brush of their wings As that eighteen-wheeler hugs my flank And leans on the horn Lights flashing Rude rumbling under right tires Tantrum of snow In the draft of mass and velocity …and the angels? They’ve chosen another good one! They must’ve liked the 80’s Their wings slapping the windshield madly   Their hands steady the wheel
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63
Oh honey, Sometimes it’s the timing that’s wrong Not you.
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Jul 26, 2019
Jul 26, 2019 at 5:32 PM UTC
Time will Tell
I've been waiting... For the right moment. Wasn't sure for what. But now I know it. Been close many times before. Ready to scatter my brains and soar. Better than a deep sleep... Never more. Unfettered, emptiness galore. 1 2 3 4 Squeeze Bang Splat That's what I've been waiting for.
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Feb 24, 2018
Feb 24, 2018 at 7:05 PM UTC
Perfect timing
It all begins With pronouns I becomes the subject Of my project Adding you And collectively we I choose you and me And I exclude the he and the she Until I am certain of we You and I pick verbs actions Inflect them to match fit begin narratives Transitive verbs take objects You touch tickle tease taste take skin ******* lips me with words Words have become a clause But still a simple construction So, you tickle me where? For this you need a preposition To position your tickling ammunition Do you touch tickle tease me ON my ******* ******* thighs buttocks **** Do you feel me INSIDE my mouth **** soul? Positioning is envisioning. Then you use adjectives To modify descriptions of Sensory inscriptions So, gentle complements touch Soft and passionate kiss And you become superlative And adverbs elaborate experience expression exploration You fill me deeply thoroughly violently with all that is you But adverbs can also mean time Not sweet or cursed time Or time denoting age But timing is always important And grammar dictates That Time adverbs are placed As a beginning or an end Like a lover's embrace Thus, This morning, you woke me with A demanding "here and now! " and I will reciprocate this, tonight, I vow. Conjunctions are sentence connectors And sentences behave like detectors Bodies balancing with and, but, or Otherwise subordinate And the scale tips towards Conditioning hypotaxis Making actions a complicated praxis (before my mind can connect, you will have to pursuade it /pursue it) But we coordinate conjunctions Equally I touch you You touch me Exploring Exploding sensory functions So, together we cry imperatives Completing our ****** narratives Moaning Whimpering Begging Yelling: Please... bind me! touch me! bite me! take me! come! Oh! Please, come! I love the English language... ;)
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Feb 24, 2013
Feb 24, 2013 at 5:10 PM UTC
Exploring Grammar (why I love the English language)
It all begins With pronouns I becomes the subject Of my project Adding you And collectively we I choose you and me And I exclude the he and the she Until I am certain of we You and I pick verbs actions Inflect them to match fit begin narratives Transitive verbs take objects You touch tickle tease taste take skin ******* lips me with words Words have become a clause But still a simple construction So, you tickle me where? For this you need a preposition To position your tickling ammunition Do you touch tickle tease me ON my ******* ******* thighs buttocks **** Do you feel me INSIDE my mouth **** soul? Positioning is envisioning. Then you use adjectives To modify descriptions of Sensory inscriptions So, gentle complements touch Soft and passionate kiss And you become superlative And adverbs elaborate experience expression exploration You fill me deeply thoroughly violently with all that is you But adverbs can also mean time Not sweet or cursed time Or time denoting age But timing is always important And grammar dictates That Time adverbs are placed As a beginning or an end Like a lover's embrace Thus, This morning, you woke me with A demanding "here and now! " and I will reciprocate this, tonight, I vow. Conjunctions are sentence connectors And sentences behave like detectors Bodies balancing with and, but, or Otherwise subordinate And the scale tips towards Conditioning hypotaxis Making actions a complicated praxis (before my mind can connect, you will have to pursuade it /pursue it) But we coordinate conjunctions Equally I touch you You touch me Exploring Exploding sensory functions So, together we cry imperatives Completing our ****** narratives Moaning Whimpering Begging Yelling: Please... bind me! touch me! bite me! take me! come! Oh! Please, come! I love the English language... ;)
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89
I wrote you a poem and all you said was “I love you!” and I need a whole lot more than that   Did you know Marilyn Monroe was borderline too and what did that leave her besides a suicidal mess I do not look up to? But I guess she did **** JFK so there's that Today is valentines day and I didn’t say anthing to you about it because I know you hate February 14 because 2 years ago you had that major surgery You didn’t talk to me until 4:20 today and that was only to laugh about the timing and it's really hard for me to not tell you that I wanted to **** myself today but instead I wrote 5 poems and drank too much coffee and **** I would really **** for a cigarette right now that I have to use my charm to get because im only 17 but somehow I always “forget” my ID and wear a low cut shirt and flirt openly with the 40 year old indian guy across the counter just so I can get my illegal nicotine I wonder what my mother would say about that
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Feb 14, 2014
Feb 14, 2014 at 10:55 PM UTC
Borderline Personality Disorder
The rat smells the air, squeaks in alarm and runs off. Black boots come into view. With the sharp tip of a sword. I crouch in the dark, behind the bins of ******* The boots walk on by. The sword, poking into corners. All the while, eyes of glowing red, within deep sockets of a musty old skull, scan for signs. I look at my hands. The festered and rotting flesh. My bones showing through. The stench unbearable. Glad my nose fell off last night. The timing was off. It was just a little sneeze. PLOP! Right in my gruel. Every one at school laughed. Skeleton Puberty ***** And now, Dad is mad. Just cause I waxed the hearse and didn't use "Ear Wax". You could hear him rattle all day. What's wrong with the "Toe Jam Wax"? Wait till I catch sis. She went and showed mom my mags. "Raw! Boo To The Bones". I'll bet dad had mags like these when he was a teenager. They have good stories. The pics are just a bone-us. I think it's safe now. I'll just sneak into the house. Just sit and look innocent. How did you find me? A whole trail of pieces? Sheesh! I know. I'm grounded. Not for the wax job? The Mags!?. Skeleton puberty ***** My Halloween offering for Oct. 12th
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Oct 11, 2010
Oct 11, 2010 at 9:26 PM UTC
Skeleton Puberty *****
We've been out here swinging for a while now tearing at your throat like there's no tomorrow And I've never been one to stand aside or stand in the way of change, but she's got us on one hell of a ride hanging over the sides now trying to get my bearings with my guard down standing over the edge now we've been playing both sides, don't let us hit the ground it'd be one too many if we went down tonight can't catch a break wondering is the timing ever right can't catch my breath but it's over now passing in phases like the last round the last scene before the grand finale dialogue caught in tatters like you've a mouth full of razor teeth touch my cheek kiss me only when you feel like it (we were there just last week) take this dose and space it out, I need my portions small like my dreams always on to the next faded scheme, it's okay though because my vision's 20/20 and I don't mind chasing the hard-to-get things.
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Sep 1, 2018
Sep 1, 2018 at 8:18 PM UTC
20/20
the magnolia was a bit of a ******* (as far as trees can be ******** and like very many other things— like japanese candy from the Fugi Mart in Greenwich (across from the McDonald’s and next to the music shop where I got my viola) and like pokemon cards and nintendo gaming systems and like Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi” on a pink CD in a Hello Kitty radio —that ******* of a magnolia was a distinctive taste of the years I spent growing up in my house at the end of Wyndover Lane. the ******* thing was almost perpetually in bloom. it barged into both spring and autumn (it didn’t give a **** about timing) those pink and white spongy petals padding the ground and at first you think it’s ******* beautiful sitting in the crook of the trunk where it split into two large separate branches tilting your chin back to catch a glimpse of blue between fat blossoms then the petals start rotting water-retentive little ******* and you can’t sweep ‘em away because they stick to the patio brown clumps slipping under rubber soles my dad lets loose a string of curses and the magnolia shakes with laughter I tried pressing the petals in a notebook once while I was in that naturalist phase it seems all little girls go through when you make fairy houses out of bark in the backyard and put flowers between the pages of books because it feels oh-so-much-more significant than picking a pretty thing and showing it to mom but the magnolia seeped through my spiral ring and when I opened it up a month later they were dry tan papery things not at all velveteen and rosy and there were garish pink bloodstains all through the ten pages on either side magnolias don’t preserve well except, honestly they do don’t they then of course there’s that childhood tragedy that everyone has when your dog got hit by some soccer mom’s suburban or your teddy bear was lost in an airport or maybe you just liked to cry because some things were just really worth the tears at the time but when I came home and found out they cut down my ******* ******* of a magnolia I bawled there wasn’t even a stump.
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May 2, 2013
May 2, 2013 at 4:48 PM UTC
Magnolia
the magnolia was a bit of a ******* (as far as trees can be ******** and like very many other things— like japanese candy from the Fugi Mart in Greenwich (across from the McDonald’s and next to the music shop where I got my viola) and like pokemon cards and nintendo gaming systems and like Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi” on a pink CD in a Hello Kitty radio —that ******* of a magnolia was a distinctive taste of the years I spent growing up in my house at the end of Wyndover Lane. the ******* thing was almost perpetually in bloom. it barged into both spring and autumn (it didn’t give a **** about timing) those pink and white spongy petals padding the ground and at first you think it’s ******* beautiful sitting in the crook of the trunk where it split into two large separate branches tilting your chin back to catch a glimpse of blue between fat blossoms then the petals start rotting water-retentive little ******* and you can’t sweep ‘em away because they stick to the patio brown clumps slipping under rubber soles my dad lets loose a string of curses and the magnolia shakes with laughter I tried pressing the petals in a notebook once while I was in that naturalist phase it seems all little girls go through when you make fairy houses out of bark in the backyard and put flowers between the pages of books because it feels oh-so-much-more significant than picking a pretty thing and showing it to mom but the magnolia seeped through my spiral ring and when I opened it up a month later they were dry tan papery things not at all velveteen and rosy and there were garish pink bloodstains all through the ten pages on either side magnolias don’t preserve well except, honestly they do don’t they then of course there’s that childhood tragedy that everyone has when your dog got hit by some soccer mom’s suburban or your teddy bear was lost in an airport or maybe you just liked to cry because some things were just really worth the tears at the time but when I came home and found out they cut down my ******* ******* of a magnolia I bawled there wasn’t even a stump.
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49
Chemistry was cheering us on, but Timing was fighting against us. I could always hear Chemistry yelling our names, but Timing was making it rough. Chemistry was on our side, trying to help us win that war. She fought long and hard and never gave up, but truth was we needed Timing more. Timing cheered when we lost, he would not let us forget. Chemistry held us close, she whispered "this isn't over yet." So now we sit and we wait, wondering what happens next. Because Chemistry is sitting ready, Timing will be put to the test.
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Mar 16, 2016
Mar 16, 2016 at 10:46 AM UTC
Chemistry vs. Timing
mommy loves you unconditionally even as you soar amongst the clouds searching for the perfect timing to come on down please, forgive my impatience i just have this undying urge to have you here in my arms, clinging to my breast as i provide you with life and you provide my breaths little one, shining so bright come to me only when you feel it's right the doctors tell me otherwise and my womanhood is of questionable might but i know you are as rightfully my child just as i am the moon to your night an infertile mother will forever understand why so many letters are written to our unborn with shaken hands why so many tears have fallen why you wonder it isn't your calling to be given a life of other plans but i know you hear me, little one and i know you love me too and i promise to better preserve my body so that it may be the perfect home for you until you are ready to bless me with your smile; the uniqueness that is true everything i do, everything i aim to be, every dream i work so hard to achieve i do for you so please, be slow and easy little one mommy needs preparation too just know this, when you've become tired of waiting; when you're ready for the world and you're journey has come to the point of passing through watch for flashing lights and smiling faces and tears of joy listen for songs of love because i'll be right there-- for i've been waiting too... just for you.
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Jul 8, 2015
Jul 8, 2015 at 11:45 PM UTC
to my unborn
my sense of timing is highly sophisticated i can sense exactly how much time a task will take i will start it when i have exactly that much time left
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Aug 27, 2014
Aug 27, 2014 at 4:38 PM UTC
i am the queen of procrastination
I'm not too lucky when I gamble I lose more than I win I would probably do better If I tossed my money in a bin Gambling is not just luck It's timing and some skill Some gamble for the fun of it Some gamble for the thrill To define exactly what it means To risk money that you've earned Means throwing out sensible thought And not heeding what you've learned For example, I played poker And I lost most every cent I lost my mortgage payment Now, I'm living in a tent To win it back I chose to go And bet double at the track The first horse that I bet on Fell and broke his back The second horse was scratched I was in for a bad night My fifth horse only had three legs And he could just turn right The next one had a jockey Who's eyes were badly crossed I won't tell you how he finished But, I'll tell you that he lost To gain back my small pittance I went to the greyhound track My first dog had a rider A small monkey on his back In the third race I got daring And I bet on number three Once the race got started He had to stop and *** I picked a dog in the fifth race Just because I liked his name It was the best one I had ever heard "I'MBETYOU'RESORRYTHATYOUCAME" The odds were long but what the hell I was now gambling just for fun Not only did he catch the rabbit My ****** dog had won I think I've got the secret now I know just how to win If I get tempted to go back and bet I'll throw my money in the bin.
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Sep 6, 2012
Sep 6, 2012 at 5:16 PM UTC
Gambling
Science is hard Chemistry is harder Chemistry is defined as the complex, emotional or psychological interaction between two people Our chemistry is tangible Our chemistry moves entire cities Chemistry is so hard because you mix all these things together and they either blend and make something fantastic or they blow up in your face They leave you with burn marks and scars to remind you just how badly you ****** it all up And I think what we have here is a disaster ready to burn my face to blackness I think what we have here is a scar ready to form and last forever What we have here is a chemistry left to remind me I still wasn’t good enough What we have here is a chemical reaction that the whole class can laugh at So science is hard Chemistry is so hard But having good chemistry and bad timing, that’s just heartbreaking
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Sep 26, 2018
Sep 26, 2018 at 10:25 AM UTC
Chemical Burns
Can he cry Knowing the winds won’t stop Feeling his heart pulse achingly Listening to the sounds in the other stalls There are others crying with him He still can’t cry Can he cry Knowing the failures will stick like duck tape Felling his snot paint his sleeves white Hugging himself in his time of fright He still won’t cry Can he cry Knowing this is one out of too many Feeling the burden settle so heavily Breathing in timing to the tapping on his knee The tears won’t come out He can’t cry Knowing it’ll always be the same Feeling the drain on his psyche Listening to the silence in the other stalls He’s still the only one And the winds still won’t stop And the clouds will pass by
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Mar 29, 2019
Mar 29, 2019 at 2:08 AM UTC
Math Test
I have a two timing wife, but I love her anyway. She’s sorry that she has to have that name. Sometimes she gets real mad, and it really is quite sad that she has to play the old two timing game. I find as I get older, my hearing’s getting worse. I’m always asking, “what?” which brings her strife. She repeats a second time, in a louder voice sublime, and that’s why I call her my two timing wife.
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Nov 27, 2011
Nov 27, 2011 at 10:34 AM UTC
My Two Timing Wife
You're tweeting Texting Face Timing Whatsapping SMSing Facebooking Skyping Yet you seem to disconnect yourself from the authenticity of the present She, he, them, us- are all gone Congratulations on your 'social media' Because now the only thing you can really socialise with, is nothing So think about the next time you decide to choose social media Are you willing to risk it all in return for a like, comment or message on a screen?
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Nov 14, 2015
Nov 14, 2015 at 2:47 PM UTC
Social Media
I take her frame in both hands, she lets me go for a spin. Chassis built for performance, responsive to every move, I steer her around the circuit. Following every change of direction with timing and precision, she lets me hug the curves just long enough to feel her power; not long enough to lose all control.
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Mar 16, 2011
Mar 16, 2011 at 6:30 PM UTC
Swing dance
I'm not one of those people Who can bury that itch, So very down deep That they can't even scratch. Certainly, most days, I'm satisfied with Me, Just can't seem to be satisfied with Just me. I want four hands, not two, And four feet, covered in warm woolen socks between sheets. I want clamoring voice from a throat that's not mine. I want two heads, two hearts, Two toothbrushes. Different length hair in the shower (You clean it out) Accidental-shrunken work shirts Cussing fights while I finish the laundry Surprise apologies later. Nights of scheduling compromise Days of scheduling compromise How many sick days can we skip work with? I don't need some long-distance, Not-a-relationship Just-friends-with-benefits ******** I cannot hug me I cannot bury my face in my chest And just breathe. My arms don't reach far enough, And I get a crick in my neck only to find that My shirts just smell like cheap soap. Not looking for marriage. Ten years until kids. Maybe a dog later on. We'll walk it together, and you can bag the poo... It could be I'm just too addicted to *** Or maybe I wear too much lingerie. My corsets and evening gowns show too much of my flesh? I know too many good random subjects for conversation? My **** looks too good. Your **** looks too good? Pick one and tell me, So I can  find that one thing That keeps the timing from not lining up Or lets me meet men that aren't married, or Under 18, Under 21, Under-able to carry out a conversation with words longer than 2 syllables. I probably won't even see it coming, That day when I find that someone who satisfies Just Me. But for now, can I please find Someone to just satisfy me?
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Oct 14, 2010
Oct 14, 2010 at 7:24 PM UTC
An Extraction of Satisfaction
I'm not one of those people Who can bury that itch, So very down deep That they can't even scratch. Certainly, most days, I'm satisfied with Me, Just can't seem to be satisfied with Just me. I want four hands, not two, And four feet, covered in warm woolen socks between sheets. I want clamoring voice from a throat that's not mine. I want two heads, two hearts, Two toothbrushes. Different length hair in the shower (You clean it out) Accidental-shrunken work shirts Cussing fights while I finish the laundry Surprise apologies later. Nights of scheduling compromise Days of scheduling compromise How many sick days can we skip work with? I don't need some long-distance, Not-a-relationship Just-friends-with-benefits ******** I cannot hug me I cannot bury my face in my chest And just breathe. My arms don't reach far enough, And I get a crick in my neck only to find that My shirts just smell like cheap soap. Not looking for marriage. Ten years until kids. Maybe a dog later on. We'll walk it together, and you can bag the poo... It could be I'm just too addicted to *** Or maybe I wear too much lingerie. My corsets and evening gowns show too much of my flesh? I know too many good random subjects for conversation? My **** looks too good. Your **** looks too good? Pick one and tell me, So I can  find that one thing That keeps the timing from not lining up Or lets me meet men that aren't married, or Under 18, Under 21, Under-able to carry out a conversation with words longer than 2 syllables. I probably won't even see it coming, That day when I find that someone who satisfies Just Me. But for now, can I please find Someone to just satisfy me?
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48
Why, why can't we just ask them how they feel, let them explain what to them seems most real. Why can't we just say: 'Hey, I kinda like you', without a glance of pity in their eyes and remorse. Then she  thinks of how I failed, how we failed because I didn't follow the rules, the rules of love. The love, like a soft spring breeze, it was definitely there But ignorant as can be I just could not see, I never was aware. You have to stay on that track from time to time, looking back maybe if I did this or that, it would have been could have been, but never was. And so it never led to more. Once I hope to find a girl who doesn't, doesn't care what others think. Who has no need to follow the rules together we'll walk aside the road. Chemistry + timing does not equal love You'll also need...
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Dec 25, 2012
Dec 25, 2012 at 6:33 PM UTC
Patience
What a face "Sells" Abruptly she yells Matte burning dry Just try Too moisten her lips She's the Red devil From hell why does her orange face peel sell? The right color a psychic won't tell Wishing well drenched He touched my orange juice "All Frenched" She loves to slice and he peels what appeal orange saffron sauce One last juicy squirt divorce It's time for fresh squeeze Too frozen concentrate The happy hour "Orange" feel   no other place like fate Ten times real "One" face peel has been love absorbed Like lemon meringue Tainted love Bitter grind soft butter glove Do you mind orange flame (The Spa) sells to be loved Tra la so kind all Grunge Going "Wawa" coffee cruel Other colors haha Movie set Orange payroll lounge tease squirt But destroyed by the evil spell curse Summoned on sunburst But we need the Orange before the sun comes Like clones orange, you glad we have "Green Apple" phones One step beyond orange zones I don't want to burst your orange sauce Grand Marnier starry twist of orange Two timing orange yogurt Taste to tangy it hurt Hey Yo Orange peel Spa Still sticks Orange Julius flirt O outrageous P pick What turns us on and gets us sick Plan your work and work your plan Never offend her Let's see the chef make you love her Creamified dreamlike Whip free The orange mousse pie Let me hear it yummy to lie
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Apr 21, 2018
Apr 21, 2018 at 11:43 AM UTC
Orange Peel Sells
i kept my hatches battened but that didn't stop your love from barreling toward me like a runaway freight train with faulty breaks. and god almighty, did we crash. you came to a screeching halt at my doorstep and i didn't know what else to do but let you in. you looked so cold. we did not start with a spark but a full-on fire. i told myself i wouldn't fall, instead i jumped. our sinking frames somehow morphed into life preservers, and we managed to keep each other's heads above the waves. we had seemingly saved one another. you tossed your pills, i flushed my razors, and for a while that was enough. but we learned the hard way that even the deepest love can only keep the storm clouds in your mind at bay for so long. eventually our cracks began to show. missed calls and silent hours built houses of cards that were blown down by too many miles. we hardly ever smiled anymore. my hands were sieves and yours were sand. i want to break the hands of the clock that cursed us with this bad timing. i have mourned all the hours i won't ever have with you. i have felt the thunder that rumbles in my lungs when i reminisce about the memories we'll never make. the moment i realized i would never wake up beside you an atom bomb went off in the center of my chest. but the radiation is what's killing me. the life is being drained from me here in the wake, in the ache of your absence. but i won't beg. i will live out the remainder of my days tormented by wondering if maybe in another world our love is perfect and neither of us bleed. - m.f.
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Jan 12, 2014
Jan 12, 2014 at 3:27 AM UTC
Untitled
i kept my hatches battened but that didn't stop your love from barreling toward me like a runaway freight train with faulty breaks. and god almighty, did we crash. you came to a screeching halt at my doorstep and i didn't know what else to do but let you in. you looked so cold. we did not start with a spark but a full-on fire. i told myself i wouldn't fall, instead i jumped. our sinking frames somehow morphed into life preservers, and we managed to keep each other's heads above the waves. we had seemingly saved one another. you tossed your pills, i flushed my razors, and for a while that was enough. but we learned the hard way that even the deepest love can only keep the storm clouds in your mind at bay for so long. eventually our cracks began to show. missed calls and silent hours built houses of cards that were blown down by too many miles. we hardly ever smiled anymore. my hands were sieves and yours were sand. i want to break the hands of the clock that cursed us with this bad timing. i have mourned all the hours i won't ever have with you. i have felt the thunder that rumbles in my lungs when i reminisce about the memories we'll never make. the moment i realized i would never wake up beside you an atom bomb went off in the center of my chest. but the radiation is what's killing me. the life is being drained from me here in the wake, in the ache of your absence. but i won't beg. i will live out the remainder of my days tormented by wondering if maybe in another world our love is perfect and neither of us bleed. - m.f.
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33
Wow. Way to go. You ****** up once again. You pick the worst timing. You make everything so dramatic. You pick at the tiniest things. Wow. Way to ******* go. You feel good about yourself? You think you'll do better next time? You think you can fix it? You think it will fix itself? No. I'm a **** up. Can someone please slice me open and let me bleed out, because I'm afraid if I tried, I'd **** up. And the world doesn't need any more **** ups.
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Jun 29, 2015
Jun 29, 2015 at 8:40 PM UTC
Little **** Up, I
Almost 3 years. That’s all it took, 3 years for me to fall in love with you. We never became anything, it was because I never wanted us to be. I wasted every single thing you gave me. I threw away the flowers you gave me for my birthday because of the reason I thought they were too cliche, I crumpled the love letters you wrote for me for I didn’t want your words to be my medicine, I never accepted the love you were giving me because I refuse to let anyone in. And after 3 years, I realised that I also needed flowers not just thorns, that I was suffering from taking poison for years because I never took your medicine and that sometimes it would be great to let someone in. You gave everything to me, your eyes somehow managed to have some light in them whenever they saw me but I killed the light and turned it into darkness, you do not own your smile anymore since you gave it to me but I returned it to you that’s why right now all you could ever do is frown because I erased it from you, and you gave me your entire universe but unfortunately I wasn’t interested in cosmology back then. But now? There is nothing I want to study but your universe and all that’s revolving around it. I did all of those things,  maybe that’s why you became the first word of this paragraph. You became my almost, and not just an ordinary one, but an almost that I could never ever forget. We were the children of love, however timing wants us to be orphans.  Just when I started realising my love for you, you found yourself. You built your own universe and your smile became even more happier than before, your eyes speak a thousand words now, they are no longer the ones I wasted. I would do anything if I could ever just turn back time, I would hold you and tell you that I feel the same, I would give you all the things you gave me, I would do anything for you. Too many could have been, should have been, and what ifs. But nothing could ever change what is happening, perhaps it’s right for me to feel this, to feel this pain, the pain that I gave you. Love wanted us to feel the same. Timing does too, but the difference is timing wants us to feel the same pain. I don’t want to beg you to love me, or to stay, or to do everything just to bring back the flames because baby all I am about to do is to hope.  I will not hope for you,  but I will hope for days. I hope for the day everything would finally be okay. I hope for the day that we are both happy, and that we are ready to make each other happier. I hope for the day that we can both see the moon in our eyes and the sun in our smiles. I hope for the day that we are both prepared to let each other in, and that we are no longer cowards but brave people. I hope for the day that we are finally exploring each other's universe and we will both realise that is the only thing we would ever want to study. I hope for the day our fire will warm us both instead of burning us to death. I hope your water will cleanse me and mine will make you feel alive instead of drowning each other because of our deep oceans. I hope for the day that we can finally heal one another instead of destroying each other. I hope for the day that we consider each other to be our home, not just some place you can go to because you don’t have anywhere else to stay. I hope that we will no longer fight the hurricanes and storms we gave to each other, because one day, we would conquer them, hand in hand, together.  I hope for the day that you are no longer my almost, but my always.  And maybe, one day, timing will be our friend not our foe, or maybe we would even be strong enough to fight it, but right now we aren’t even strong enough to fight for our love. I will hope for these days to come, I will hope for these things to happen, I will hope for everything. Because that’s the only thing I could do right now.
0
Jul 17, 2016
Jul 17, 2016 at 2:43 AM UTC
an open letter to my favourite almost
Almost 3 years. That’s all it took, 3 years for me to fall in love with you. We never became anything, it was because I never wanted us to be. I wasted every single thing you gave me. I threw away the flowers you gave me for my birthday because of the reason I thought they were too cliche, I crumpled the love letters you wrote for me for I didn’t want your words to be my medicine, I never accepted the love you were giving me because I refuse to let anyone in. And after 3 years, I realised that I also needed flowers not just thorns, that I was suffering from taking poison for years because I never took your medicine and that sometimes it would be great to let someone in. You gave everything to me, your eyes somehow managed to have some light in them whenever they saw me but I killed the light and turned it into darkness, you do not own your smile anymore since you gave it to me but I returned it to you that’s why right now all you could ever do is frown because I erased it from you, and you gave me your entire universe but unfortunately I wasn’t interested in cosmology back then. But now? There is nothing I want to study but your universe and all that’s revolving around it. I did all of those things,  maybe that’s why you became the first word of this paragraph. You became my almost, and not just an ordinary one, but an almost that I could never ever forget. We were the children of love, however timing wants us to be orphans.  Just when I started realising my love for you, you found yourself. You built your own universe and your smile became even more happier than before, your eyes speak a thousand words now, they are no longer the ones I wasted. I would do anything if I could ever just turn back time, I would hold you and tell you that I feel the same, I would give you all the things you gave me, I would do anything for you. Too many could have been, should have been, and what ifs. But nothing could ever change what is happening, perhaps it’s right for me to feel this, to feel this pain, the pain that I gave you. Love wanted us to feel the same. Timing does too, but the difference is timing wants us to feel the same pain. I don’t want to beg you to love me, or to stay, or to do everything just to bring back the flames because baby all I am about to do is to hope.  I will not hope for you,  but I will hope for days. I hope for the day everything would finally be okay. I hope for the day that we are both happy, and that we are ready to make each other happier. I hope for the day that we can both see the moon in our eyes and the sun in our smiles. I hope for the day that we are both prepared to let each other in, and that we are no longer cowards but brave people. I hope for the day that we are finally exploring each other's universe and we will both realise that is the only thing we would ever want to study. I hope for the day our fire will warm us both instead of burning us to death. I hope your water will cleanse me and mine will make you feel alive instead of drowning each other because of our deep oceans. I hope for the day that we can finally heal one another instead of destroying each other. I hope for the day that we consider each other to be our home, not just some place you can go to because you don’t have anywhere else to stay. I hope that we will no longer fight the hurricanes and storms we gave to each other, because one day, we would conquer them, hand in hand, together.  I hope for the day that you are no longer my almost, but my always.  And maybe, one day, timing will be our friend not our foe, or maybe we would even be strong enough to fight it, but right now we aren’t even strong enough to fight for our love. I will hope for these days to come, I will hope for these things to happen, I will hope for everything. Because that’s the only thing I could do right now.
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