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"thirties" poems
His Grandparents were Romany people from his maternal side In Countries of Eastern Europe they travelled far and wide But the most basic human right their right to life of them even denied In Belzec Concentration camp where a million people died. I never knew my maternal Grandparents with sadness he recall Due to circumstance of birth and their way of life misfortune them did befall My gift of music such a marvellous gift to them I feel I owe In Belzec Concentration Camp they were murdered decades ago. A tall and handsome man in his early thirties with wavy raven hair With the marvellous gift of music a great accordion player In silence we sat and drank our beer as we listened to him play The beautiful old gipsy tunes from Countries far away. That all things do come to an end in some cases a lie In Belzec Concentration camp the gipsy music did not die But that the gift of music does live on should not come as a surprise Something that those who commit crimes against humanity seem to fail to realize. He played at the pub on passing through him I never more may see But the beauty of his music will live in my memory His maternal Grandparents who died at Belzec their lives were not in vain Their music in their Grandchild has come to life again.
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Aug 10, 2010
Aug 10, 2010 at 6:09 PM UTC
In Belzec Concentration Camp
I can remember that first encounter. He was a man in his early thirties, bright eyes but with a dark grin and was smoking your cigars wearing a black hat and he was also carrying a guitar. He was here to show me how to strum an few chords. I remember him distinctively saying... "Guitar playing I am about to teach you is really the same as love making you know?" I  laughed and blankly said "but how so?" " Well... (grinning) Each string has to be carefully plucked, and contains a different  sensation and vibe if you mishandle the strings that final note will sound awful. He was showing me how to re-tune and play a few chords which were C, D and G then pass me over the guitar back to me. "Its your turn dear, and be really gentle" While doing this and playing the first few chords of the guitar which was D I could feel him rub my shoulders and chest gently. "Don't worry you can trust me, I was just loosening you up we can't have you feeling tense" "Now, show me a G" I begin to play the chord G while doing that he then grasped firmly on my other hand : I can feel a surge of heat from his hands firing up my fingers. This heat was making its way to my chest. He now caressed and circled around the chest and then higher up to my ***** I can feel his breath and his tongue swirling and stretching out to **** on my ******* "Okay ... final note play me a C" I crouch down to the floor and begin to strum that final chord and can then feel him stretch his hands beneath my skirt I could feel the sensations further of his fingers strumming my ***** in the same rhythmic motions of his guitar previously. "See what I said? music playing really is the same as love making" "I nodded and said yeah I suppose" A bit shaken and uncertain how to respond but he kept whispering into my ear and repeating that same line: while kissing me on my cheeks, stroking me up and down in circular motions in which I could feel a tense feeling of release and then silence again Was that the final note?
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Aug 24, 2014
Aug 24, 2014 at 3:08 PM UTC
Short ****** Story
I can remember that first encounter. He was a man in his early thirties, bright eyes but with a dark grin and was smoking your cigars wearing a black hat and he was also carrying a guitar. He was here to show me how to strum an few chords. I remember him distinctively saying... "Guitar playing I am about to teach you is really the same as love making you know?" I  laughed and blankly said "but how so?" " Well... (grinning) Each string has to be carefully plucked, and contains a different  sensation and vibe if you mishandle the strings that final note will sound awful. He was showing me how to re-tune and play a few chords which were C, D and G then pass me over the guitar back to me. "Its your turn dear, and be really gentle" While doing this and playing the first few chords of the guitar which was D I could feel him rub my shoulders and chest gently. "Don't worry you can trust me, I was just loosening you up we can't have you feeling tense" "Now, show me a G" I begin to play the chord G while doing that he then grasped firmly on my other hand : I can feel a surge of heat from his hands firing up my fingers. This heat was making its way to my chest. He now caressed and circled around the chest and then higher up to my ***** I can feel his breath and his tongue swirling and stretching out to **** on my ******* "Okay ... final note play me a C" I crouch down to the floor and begin to strum that final chord and can then feel him stretch his hands beneath my skirt I could feel the sensations further of his fingers strumming my ***** in the same rhythmic motions of his guitar previously. "See what I said? music playing really is the same as love making" "I nodded and said yeah I suppose" A bit shaken and uncertain how to respond but he kept whispering into my ear and repeating that same line: while kissing me on my cheeks, stroking me up and down in circular motions in which I could feel a tense feeling of release and then silence again Was that the final note?
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19
I realize I am too compassionate; I feel everything at a 100% rate, and I loathe it so much. Why do they come on so strong all the time; it mentally drains me. I am destined to die early; I can't see myself living past my mid-thirties. I learn how to accept death as it is, and I am slowly learning how to let go. I want to cry, I want to scream; I want to voice out this indecipherable torment inside of me. But no one will understand, and no one will know; this mask of mine can't be taken off. It is what I desire, yet I want to scream the truth out to the world; my alternating flow of thoughts, my constant battle; it goes down with me to the grave. This happiness is an illusion; There's a second mind that takes over, and blocks away all of the hopelessness. It brings forth a temporary elation, a nonchalance, a pretentious ease. Is this better? Does it make me better? Or does this delude me to the point where I become more destructive and cause more harm than cure? Why does my mind run so much? Why does this version of me exist? Because I am born empathetic. Because I am human. Because I hold a great understanding of myself, and a greater awareness of how I am. But not behind in the how it came to be. No one holds the answer, and I am forever left with questioning all these endless why's and how's. Everything else is left unanswered perhaps until the day I die. — Y.H. the end of the tunnel, gentle fervor.
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Sep 16, 2018
Sep 16, 2018 at 3:12 PM UTC
the end of the tunnel
I will tell you what he told me in the years just after the war as we then called the second world war don't lose your arrogance yet he said you can do that when you're older lose it too soon and you may merely replace it with vanity just one time he suggested changing the usual order of the same words in a line of verse why point out a thing twice he suggested I pray to the Muse get down on my knees and pray right there in the corner and he said he meant it literally it was in the days before the beard and the drink but he was deep in tides of his own through which he sailed chin sideways and head tilted like a tacking sloop he was far older than the dates allowed for much older than I was he was in his thirties he snapped down his nose with an accent I think he had affected in England as for publishing he advised me to paper my wall with rejection slips his lips and the bones of his long fingers trembled with the vehemence of his views about poetry he said the great presence that permitted everything and transmuted it in poetry was passion passion was genius and he praised movement and invention I had hardly begun to read I asked how can you ever be sure that what you write is really any good at all and he said you can't you can't you can never be sure you die without knowing whether anything you wrote was any good if you have to be sure don't write
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4.7k
Berryman
i have paid the fines of dozens of overdue library books i never finished reading. i love reading. i love curling up in a big leather armchair while the sun reaches out to me through the window as time slows and my coffee grows cold. but tolstoy and fitzgerald sit on my shelves or in my purse carried everywhere and collecting dust. i can see the silhouette of who i would like to be. the curve of her hips the stillness of her limbs. she grows her own herbs and tries out new recipes while her husband is at work. she doesn’t mind driving for hours alone and enjoys singing along to the radio going five under the speed limit. she is not in a hurry. she is proud and sure and poised. she reads books and returns them on time. she gave up on dreaming and hoping and longing and finally began living.
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Sep 25, 2018
Sep 25, 2018 at 3:46 PM UTC
her thirties
Somehow, I managed to get to my thirties without eating a cherry --- a fresh one, anyway, raw, untamed, unshelved, and forgodssake, unmarischinoed. I had them in pies, gooey, sickening, too much syrup, and in sundaes --- again, not real, a turn-off, saw people tie the stems in knots, I had the impression, I think, that if people had to do all the things they do with cherries to make them flavorful, they must be really **** straight out of the bag. I made my mind up that they were unpleasant and I would have nothing to do with them. Even, or especially, in chocolate-covered cherries, which my mother loved, so I wanted to love, I could at best eat the chocolate around that thick viscous sugary embryonic fluid wherein lay the embittered, unborn and unloved cherry and not the coveted prize. So imagine that day when, careless at a cocktail party, or at someone's house, hungry, I nibbled at a fresh one, deep red and whole, gingerly working my way around the stem and coming awake to ohmygod what have I been missing all these years? They still seem brand new now, every time, a delicacy, something wealthy people indulge in and so not really belonging to my world. They beg for the company of wine and the most delicate cheeses, they ask to be shared and doted on. The keep revealing themselves, on the plate, unadorned, and they keep reminding me to try something else that I have never tasted, like complete and utter honesty, or looking at myself naked, without judgment, even at the innermost feminine parts, upside down with a mirror until I see why they say making love for the first time is giving away your cherry.
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Jul 31, 2014
Jul 31, 2014 at 1:03 PM UTC
Ode to the Cherry
Somehow, I managed to get to my thirties without eating a cherry --- a fresh one, anyway, raw, untamed, unshelved, and forgodssake, unmarischinoed. I had them in pies, gooey, sickening, too much syrup, and in sundaes --- again, not real, a turn-off, saw people tie the stems in knots, I had the impression, I think, that if people had to do all the things they do with cherries to make them flavorful, they must be really **** straight out of the bag. I made my mind up that they were unpleasant and I would have nothing to do with them. Even, or especially, in chocolate-covered cherries, which my mother loved, so I wanted to love, I could at best eat the chocolate around that thick viscous sugary embryonic fluid wherein lay the embittered, unborn and unloved cherry and not the coveted prize. So imagine that day when, careless at a cocktail party, or at someone's house, hungry, I nibbled at a fresh one, deep red and whole, gingerly working my way around the stem and coming awake to ohmygod what have I been missing all these years? They still seem brand new now, every time, a delicacy, something wealthy people indulge in and so not really belonging to my world. They beg for the company of wine and the most delicate cheeses, they ask to be shared and doted on. The keep revealing themselves, on the plate, unadorned, and they keep reminding me to try something else that I have never tasted, like complete and utter honesty, or looking at myself naked, without judgment, even at the innermost feminine parts, upside down with a mirror until I see why they say making love for the first time is giving away your cherry.
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36
sleeping tears awoke to crimson crust & apple red veins, eyes peering through the dizzying fog to find a faucet & drizzle rain like nectar down the peach pit's core, along rugged edges & oval pores, imperfect patterns & lightning blinks remind the second sadness to cry once again. My swipe of crust is rusting like a smoker's yellowing finger tips gathering paint on callouses & cracked lips mirrored reflections shadow gaze, squinting to locate bronze crow's feet of a man, mid thirties, lying for what-to die dying to wait-for what
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Jul 11, 2018
Jul 11, 2018 at 12:25 AM UTC
Nectar Viscosity
When here In "Poetry Land," I am traveling To distant worlds Of the imagination Unending, Mystical and Exotic. When here In the "Real World," I am a single, childless Woman. Mid-thirties; Two cats. Misunderstood, Unconventional. I lost my glasses This morning. Suddenly I'm back In highschool, "In my mind." Remembering all The times I taped them; Tried many types: Scotch, Masking, Packing. Luckily, In my adult life I'm now prepared. I dig under my bed For my "back-up pair." Checked every corner Of my small studio To find that my spectacles, Just like lost socks, Have vanished To Neverland.
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Nov 18, 2018
Nov 18, 2018 at 2:06 PM UTC
Revealed
A candy striped knitted blanket covers were frail thighs, resting underneath her hands that have baked bread, dug earth and planted tulips. Hands that have stroked the head of a new born baby, still glistening and ****** Hands that have crawled out thirties Jewish ghettos. I reached out to touch them and she turned to me and said, 'Even my wrinkles have wrinkles'
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Mar 16, 2016
Mar 16, 2016 at 1:40 PM UTC
Even My Wrinkles Have Wrinkles
she wanted to find something that made her passion hang like a human from a tree somewhere in the late thirties a silent hand pressed against her sponge mind making her leak her tongue all over the ill surface years have passed like a seamless tomb with eyes that scream please, hold me here for more than just two minutes I am bored with the 1 hour love meetings and the detours that lead me to the lions cage the forbidden conversations and the numbed movements stone tongues of gargoyles limping on the edge of Gothic cathedrals in Prague an animal somewhere in the wild dies slowly a snake gives its venom to prey and then you stood timid at the bottom of the mountain as I struggled to make my way down I thought of how my mother would be proud to see me in a wedding dress, letting go of the only daughter she was able to drench out of her body surrender I thought never come in the form of bliss till I realized I would hold out against all odds with no mercy I'm not going anywhere I stand right here in the corner with my poetry spiraling down my thighs in hopeless patterns
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Feb 18, 2011
Feb 18, 2011 at 8:30 PM UTC
gunshot reminders and a old suitcase
Do you ever feel the noon breeze? hot yet relaxing brings you to an ease it unfold the memories inside my brain's deepest crease mesmerizing breeze i am standing under a tree Moringa Oleifra the mighty on which sits a sparrow chirping in mystique and another strange little bird with long black beak chirping tooo-weeee-t on the other branches two squerrals playing hide and seek and there sits a crow alone on one peak i am in whirl of memories of past year 2016 didn't i mention it's about a boy in his thirties he talked ocean deep but treated me like i am a feast like he is a ringmaster and i am his beast i can still feel the pain of that time when all the good is out of my reach Why do i think of him now when i am in peace? would he think of me like i did? nah or may be nostalgic or i might weep my orange colored dress doesn't irritate me in this scorching noon but thoughts of you did i have to head back from this muzz i am going back to my people who loves me where i am allowed to refuse where there is no abuse i am returning to peace goodbye noon breeze
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Aug 2, 2018
Aug 2, 2018 at 10:55 PM UTC
Noon Breeze
antlers fourteen points cernunnos stirs while the daffodils reach their thirties orderly routines - stones start skipping replete potholes, puddle-filled paving the way capsizing axles - sipping steam from fog clouds low-hanging not really minding that my shirt is wet from the concrete
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Mar 20, 2015
Mar 20, 2015 at 8:48 PM UTC
antlers
Tiger Wood's wins the Masters today Another green jacket comes his way Finally, his image stands large at the doorway For it's been a knock and a hiatus of his cache As the years after 2008 suffered from his play No major championships one can say Only gossip headlines, mugshots, and injuries in gray Where once a phenom in his twenties on display Such greatness and legend his star headway His mid-thirties saw some of his luster fall  in dismay With mostly self-injury to his ego in disarray It was hard watching a once proud man's fall and decay Especially one that held his world at bay With his swagger, swoosh, and shine turning to clay And like a good drama of accents and descents convey With the wait and weight on his shoulders belay He turned the storybook pages of dismay today The pressure of his swing, swing, and putt on display And how he uncorked his demons is a pure bouquet After 43 years of his years, he took the fairway Running, running, today after his prey It was great seeing his game not get away Logan Robertson 4/14/2019
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Apr 15, 2019
Apr 15, 2019 at 12:13 AM UTC
Tiger Wood's Tale Stirs Today
In the window of the pet shop four small faces, lost. Their owners, sick with worry, want them found at any cost. A quad of treasured family pets roaming wild and free, unmindful of the panic they’re causing back in Leigh. A sausage dog called Mini, sleek and burnished dark. She’s likely got a little voice that is more squeak than bark. Tinks: a sturdy Staffie, with a plea on Facebook praying for his safe return his people beg you “have a look” “in your sheds and garages, or in the kids' playhouse. You never know who could be there ‘cos he’s quiet as a mouse”. A grumpy Border Terrier, Underbitten, rough of coat “Bill: a much loved dog, we miss him” in shaky letters wrote. And, last of all, would you believe Someone’s lost their tortoise! He’s been in the family since ‘77 (let’s hope he isn’t corpus). For pets are no mere mortals, nor fallible as we. They’re up there on a pedestal, in anthropomorphic fantasy. Then one day they disappear, our soppy hearts turn wretched. No stick to throw, and if we did none to go and fetch it. On centre stage of family life entangled in our tribe. No separateness of species, always by our side. So if you’re there, or round about And you should chance to see Mini, Tinks or Billy or a tortoise in his mid-thirties. Tell the little pet shop - it’s better late than never - to mend an aching, wretched heart who thought their best friend gone forever.
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Jul 26, 2013
Jul 26, 2013 at 7:09 PM UTC
Lost
there are good souls in this world shrouded in weathered skin dry and cracked with scowls hung upon their face balancing on the scars of their brow just as there are bad souls in this world hiding under plush skin their faces adorned with kind eyes and cherry red lips made for kissing or spitting with rage picture a gorgeous brunette with fair skin, bold eyebrows and her hair in a subtle yet nineteen-thirties style updo wearing a red chiffon summer dress the sun beats down on her as she glistens with light perspiration espresso in-hand cigarette in the other her pale soft skin no match for the thirty degree heat outside of this café she nonchalantly finds herself she is the epitome of carefree beauty she kicked her lovers dog outside this morning exiling him to a six hour long toilet break after she "forgot" she had let him out before leaving to go shopping whilst her feller finished his shift because the dog is old and smelly and gets almost as much attention as her she even saw his pensioner neighbour struggling to take the bins out as she walked to her car and laughed rather than help because she always thought Mary was a no good Jew she even called her Mrs. Goldstein "Have a nice day Mrs. Goldstein." but Mary's surname is Cohen picture this beautiful girl a siren leading good men astray she can get any man she wants and plucks only the finest most succulent I mean successful and well put together men from gardens of bachelors maturing in the hardships of city life she has plenty choice but she's fickle you see, her man has to be almost perfect for it to be as enjoyable as possible to watch his life unravel and unfold into everything he wanted it not to be achievable only through toxic beauty her joy is venom soaked insides of lovers caught in a sultry web of lies, ambition and *** she loves a scandal or a text sent to the wrong person and she has everything to hide but does nothing to do so she gets by just fine being beautiful and sickening and sickeningly beautiful you know the sort she is a bad, bad girl
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Feb 1, 2021
Feb 1, 2021 at 9:07 PM UTC
Good Souls and Bad Girls
there are good souls in this world shrouded in weathered skin dry and cracked with scowls hung upon their face balancing on the scars of their brow just as there are bad souls in this world hiding under plush skin their faces adorned with kind eyes and cherry red lips made for kissing or spitting with rage picture a gorgeous brunette with fair skin, bold eyebrows and her hair in a subtle yet nineteen-thirties style updo wearing a red chiffon summer dress the sun beats down on her as she glistens with light perspiration espresso in-hand cigarette in the other her pale soft skin no match for the thirty degree heat outside of this café she nonchalantly finds herself she is the epitome of carefree beauty she kicked her lovers dog outside this morning exiling him to a six hour long toilet break after she "forgot" she had let him out before leaving to go shopping whilst her feller finished his shift because the dog is old and smelly and gets almost as much attention as her she even saw his pensioner neighbour struggling to take the bins out as she walked to her car and laughed rather than help because she always thought Mary was a no good Jew she even called her Mrs. Goldstein "Have a nice day Mrs. Goldstein." but Mary's surname is Cohen picture this beautiful girl a siren leading good men astray she can get any man she wants and plucks only the finest most succulent I mean successful and well put together men from gardens of bachelors maturing in the hardships of city life she has plenty choice but she's fickle you see, her man has to be almost perfect for it to be as enjoyable as possible to watch his life unravel and unfold into everything he wanted it not to be achievable only through toxic beauty her joy is venom soaked insides of lovers caught in a sultry web of lies, ambition and *** she loves a scandal or a text sent to the wrong person and she has everything to hide but does nothing to do so she gets by just fine being beautiful and sickening and sickeningly beautiful you know the sort she is a bad, bad girl
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65
From a young age I was claiming to see angels, aliens, elementals, sometimes god himself walking in the sun. I remember surprising my teacher at age four by explaining infinity and drawing a figure eight for her. I'm telling you these things, and other parts of my background because it all just feels necessary, if I'm to have any credibility for rational thought when I somehow find a way to explain what happened in there. It's been almost a week, I'm still jacked in the head. One thought, one memory, one feeling and all I can do is sob. I digress. My point is that I've always been a highly spiritual person. What started as a Catholic would travel through taoism, Buddhism, the Cherokee and Hopi, the Hindu.. I've learned their Kung Fu, their Asana yoga, their healing through chi. I can say with no ego or shame, I am a shaman. Christ, coming full circle, now amazes me the most. From that short line, "for through me all things are possible." It's funny, but it took all that eastern mystic learning for me to come to understand the truly timeless nature of the cross, of God, and of ourselves. I also, from age fifteen, was frequently hypnotized, and used an array of other advanced tequnique therapies meant to increase sub concsious brain hemisphere communication speeds. Remarkable stuff. From there I taught myself how to meditate and heal, and my colleague and I continued our experiments on into my early thirties. I'm writing all of this because I want you all to know what I mean when I say "I am extremely in tune with my body and often sense things intuitively."
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Sep 21, 2018
Sep 21, 2018 at 4:15 AM UTC
The Torture pt2: my saving graces
From a young age I was claiming to see angels, aliens, elementals, sometimes god himself walking in the sun. I remember surprising my teacher at age four by explaining infinity and drawing a figure eight for her. I'm telling you these things, and other parts of my background because it all just feels necessary, if I'm to have any credibility for rational thought when I somehow find a way to explain what happened in there. It's been almost a week, I'm still jacked in the head. One thought, one memory, one feeling and all I can do is sob. I digress. My point is that I've always been a highly spiritual person. What started as a Catholic would travel through taoism, Buddhism, the Cherokee and Hopi, the Hindu.. I've learned their Kung Fu, their Asana yoga, their healing through chi. I can say with no ego or shame, I am a shaman. Christ, coming full circle, now amazes me the most. From that short line, "for through me all things are possible." It's funny, but it took all that eastern mystic learning for me to come to understand the truly timeless nature of the cross, of God, and of ourselves. I also, from age fifteen, was frequently hypnotized, and used an array of other advanced tequnique therapies meant to increase sub concsious brain hemisphere communication speeds. Remarkable stuff. From there I taught myself how to meditate and heal, and my colleague and I continued our experiments on into my early thirties. I'm writing all of this because I want you all to know what I mean when I say "I am extremely in tune with my body and often sense things intuitively."
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7
4:10 AM, Thanksgiving Day he lost his breath for good while I watched In his thirties lungs weak from polio and huffing Marlboros Saturday I held one corner of his glossy box his pricey glossy box that was to be covered with free soil Some spring eve a quarter century later the old writer who told his tales well into his eighties slipped into hospice sleep and at his widow’s request I got to hold up another corner and place another flower on another fancy shining tomb Another thousand times since then I carried the ironic weight of lives not all the way to their holy holes but inch by inch towards the unknown my shoulder sinking a bit more each time while I searched for some epiphany in rhyme we all bear the pall of everyone’s fall each has one shoulder sorely bent regardless of who chose to repent so as we walk with this worldly weight someone else helps shape our fate for try as we may to walk alone our time is never solely our own We are the pallbearers, pallbearers for all
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Aug 24, 2012
Aug 24, 2012 at 7:25 PM UTC
The Pallbearers
I am soft and gentle and bring a clarity to the dark night. I wear a loving darkness like a comfortable cloak. I am the vanishing vampire puff puff you see me now i am gone. For I am the creature of the night. When your world caves in your emotions turn to darkness. Just listen deeply and you may hear me flutter in the blackness. For you are not alone as your friend I am here. A gentle creature comfortable in the night. I am the sometimes the forgotten hidden in the corner in my cave there i hang. We live our lives upside down sometimes living our teens in our thirties. As we slip into caves through cracks often hiding in places. We light the night with sound, magic and our emotional moon. Soft and angelic we are so innocent in nature. In this topsy turvy land we turn the world upside down and find GOD also lives underground. So we never fear or feel claustrophobic this darkness is our home. I never waste my time looking to the future to me it is all a blank. And there i find my freedom no burden or expectation. I am the deep sleep that has no dreams. Perch with me in my cave I will give you silent night I am your greatest ally in the darkness. As I fly into blackness with speed and purpose There in the moonlight I detach myself spread my wings find my freedom Out of site I vanish from the world for only those who look into caves their darkness will ever have a chance to find me. Sometimes I fly high breaking into the night turn of my sound and just disappear. I relax sit back into the my void have a break from myself. Puff puff i am he vampire who has just gone. Remember when your world caves in turns to darkness. Do not panic just disappear into blackness. You will hear me flutter and know I am near. For with a little bat becomes very clear.
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May 26, 2015
May 26, 2015 at 9:13 PM UTC
A CREATURE OF THE NIGHT
I am soft and gentle and bring a clarity to the dark night. I wear a loving darkness like a comfortable cloak. I am the vanishing vampire puff puff you see me now i am gone. For I am the creature of the night. When your world caves in your emotions turn to darkness. Just listen deeply and you may hear me flutter in the blackness. For you are not alone as your friend I am here. A gentle creature comfortable in the night. I am the sometimes the forgotten hidden in the corner in my cave there i hang. We live our lives upside down sometimes living our teens in our thirties. As we slip into caves through cracks often hiding in places. We light the night with sound, magic and our emotional moon. Soft and angelic we are so innocent in nature. In this topsy turvy land we turn the world upside down and find GOD also lives underground. So we never fear or feel claustrophobic this darkness is our home. I never waste my time looking to the future to me it is all a blank. And there i find my freedom no burden or expectation. I am the deep sleep that has no dreams. Perch with me in my cave I will give you silent night I am your greatest ally in the darkness. As I fly into blackness with speed and purpose There in the moonlight I detach myself spread my wings find my freedom Out of site I vanish from the world for only those who look into caves their darkness will ever have a chance to find me. Sometimes I fly high breaking into the night turn of my sound and just disappear. I relax sit back into the my void have a break from myself. Puff puff i am he vampire who has just gone. Remember when your world caves in turns to darkness. Do not panic just disappear into blackness. You will hear me flutter and know I am near. For with a little bat becomes very clear.
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81
(or why start smoking in your late thirties) a confession. the w h i t e paper thin, c r i s p against tips of fingers with the t h i n n e s t lines of gold the burnt umber to the brown to the beige to the white to the black black black i n h a l e suddenly i'm alive i know because i can feel something (anything) then the e x h a l e each cycle a moment suspended in time the wisps of smoke transient unique and finally the smell an a n c h o r. not what you expected?
0
Oct 3, 2018
Oct 3, 2018 at 6:48 PM UTC
hey, dummy!
in 2028 we will have a space station circling mars i have never felt something rattle me so deeply through my heart my bones will not stop trembling when i look to the stars i can not stop the twitching in my toes telling me to go i always threw out “astronaut” as a dream of a dream something there but always out of reach but now i know that i can touch down before i’m in my mid-thirties i see the full moon and i can’t stop the shaking send me home send me home send me home a teacher asked me if, given the opportunity would i take a one-way ticket off-planet, and never look back? and i laughed and i told him mars is not far enough away from earth send me to saturn and pluto and tie me to halley i am ready to touch other stars i love the sun but she is not my Sun i love the moon but she is not my Moon i have been sick of earth since i knew that i could be send me on missions to put it all behind me “what about your family” what about anybody? what about anybody? i don’t want to be alone in the cold of space i want to find something out there that might be companionable to the human race i want to go home i want to go home i’m not sure how far that will take me and i’m not sure how far past it will be from mars but i know that getting up there will be the hardest part lift-off houston, we’ve got a problem i don’t have enough rocket fuel to get out of this solar system let’s use a gravitational slingshot to throw me out of orbit i’ll love earth when she is the little blue dot on a map of the stars andromeda holds my heart send me to mars send me to mars let me return to the red of my heart
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Aug 18, 2016
Aug 18, 2016 at 11:37 PM UTC
yearning
in 2028 we will have a space station circling mars i have never felt something rattle me so deeply through my heart my bones will not stop trembling when i look to the stars i can not stop the twitching in my toes telling me to go i always threw out “astronaut” as a dream of a dream something there but always out of reach but now i know that i can touch down before i’m in my mid-thirties i see the full moon and i can’t stop the shaking send me home send me home send me home a teacher asked me if, given the opportunity would i take a one-way ticket off-planet, and never look back? and i laughed and i told him mars is not far enough away from earth send me to saturn and pluto and tie me to halley i am ready to touch other stars i love the sun but she is not my Sun i love the moon but she is not my Moon i have been sick of earth since i knew that i could be send me on missions to put it all behind me “what about your family” what about anybody? what about anybody? i don’t want to be alone in the cold of space i want to find something out there that might be companionable to the human race i want to go home i want to go home i’m not sure how far that will take me and i’m not sure how far past it will be from mars but i know that getting up there will be the hardest part lift-off houston, we’ve got a problem i don’t have enough rocket fuel to get out of this solar system let’s use a gravitational slingshot to throw me out of orbit i’ll love earth when she is the little blue dot on a map of the stars andromeda holds my heart send me to mars send me to mars let me return to the red of my heart
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Lights haven’t looked like this Since I was in my teens Messing around with my hood rat friends *** and amphetamines I took a handful of Blue Dolphins That were thirteen bucks a pop If we bought ‘em in bulk, I guess As we did more often than not Or maybe a few of the triple stacks Red something-or-others, I think They didn’t work on me this time around ‘Cause I threw ‘em up in the sink Now I am in my thirties And my scripts **** with my brain I know I am speeding my ***** off But at least I feel like old times again
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Jun 20, 2020
Jun 20, 2020 at 10:42 AM UTC
What Drugs Do
I am called an angel I am called a ninja I wear silver bangles My color is of ginger I have doll like eyes My figure is of a small coke bottle I hate tales of flying lies I live in the pacific portal I smile when I am sad Tears are always in abundance in me I have a temper and I do get mad I am only a human, you see I love reading and adore writing But my mouth ain't a word diarrhea I love silence and scenery sitings I've been writing for over an year I am in love with my adorable dogs Who make my lone day bright Cloudy yet windy, misty or fogs I love this weather, as a cold night My inner me is a mischief child I am in my early working thirties My imaginative writing gets wild I am quite authoritative I teach info tech, I love my students Knowledge sharing is my best part I am intolerable to fake mutants But, I hate to see them depart My name is Seema and I am a free writer With the challenges I face Each day makes my life brighter With the blink of time in trace... ©sim
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Sep 8, 2017
Sep 8, 2017 at 4:26 AM UTC
Know Me :-)
Empty room Empty heart I just wanna go back to the start the start of it all the walk before the fall Beginning before the end When when will it end The hurt before being put in the dirt before dirt is all i know I mean c'mon we all know this is a show for all the foes and the hoes who dared dared to doubt my creativity To suffer your insensitivity to my insecurities because when you're in your thirties I'll be in my prime while you wont be able to drop a dime for the shattered dreams wasted seams burned hate overturned only crushed dreams left for you, never me
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Nov 26, 2012
Nov 26, 2012 at 7:17 PM UTC
Beginnings End
I’d done a lot of drugs that summer, drank a lot, and lost my virginity a hundred times over. David. He was the man who ****** me for the first time. He was in his thirties, a Buddhist, and a patient teacher. In the dark, he was so **** iron filings and gum. But perhaps it wasn’t him that enticed me into *** I think it might have been a combination of everything. The way his girl-faced Buddha shone by the light of a candle. The view from his window – city flowers and washing lines, Chopin on the stereo, the cleanness of his sheets, the girl in the next room talking loudly about Jean Paul Sartre. I want you, I said. Fifteen, I was. He didn’t know that, of course. There was a terrible pressure when he ****** me, so he told me to Relax Relax Relax Imagine you’re emptying out Imagine you’re emptying out and accepting something holy communion if you like you're catholic aren't you? You look lovely You feel lovely You look lovely There was a part of my mind that thought of girls being torn through, blood and pain, embarrassment in the morning. I couldn’t stay hard. There was a part of me that gave in, with my knees up by my shoulders. There was a part of me that wanted to flip him onto his back and **** him, part of me that was desperate to be a man, part of me that hated this submission. In the morning there was no embarrassment, just cereal and ten different types of smile. Milk in bed. A lecture on loving kindness.
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Jul 17, 2014
Jul 17, 2014 at 5:16 PM UTC
milk in bed
I'm sitting here in a club that's very Well it's dark, But it's not a place for women. And who knows, I think it might be the thirties. I'm surrounded by men, All in impeccably fine suites, I'm drinking countless martinis, I never have to light my own cigarette, I know this is what I do every single night. Everyone fawns over me. I know that I'm very powerful. I have the power of a man. So I act like a man. Not ***** Just unashamed. Maybe I have a rich father? That sounds right for the time. I can tell that I am very powerful, I already know that I am "Breathtakingly gorgeous". Everyone eats out of the palm of my hand, I am fun. I am free. I am the untamable soul. You know? The one they right novels about. The one that "got away", Because she was a song bird, And one that wouldn't fit in her cage. And I am to be a married woman. Someone will disburse my power. I will become a miserable housewife. I will have four children. I will bake apple pies, I will let my husband Please himself using my body. I will help with church bake sales. I will drink. I will drink. I will drink.....
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Dec 7, 2015
Dec 7, 2015 at 1:59 AM UTC
A Different Type of Never Ending Martinis.