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"teenaged" poems
I don't know how to write happy poems because I don't really believe in them. I thought angst would die with adolescence, but alas I can still feel its cold dint. Perhaps like virginity this goes too; no longer a creep standing idly by. Plastic smiles taped to our cardboard faces and yours alone I felt the need to prise. That's okay, because the teenaged rosebud that we claim to be so very unique is beginning to wither, can't you see? And now it's the thorns society seeks. So look out over yonder cityscape. Your mask shall be shed only by the moon. Until then, a cartographer of love; yours that is, we'll still pathetically swoon.
0
Dec 25, 2013
Dec 25, 2013 at 10:06 PM UTC
A Self-Conscious Ode to the Teen Age
I'm trying to read poetry... a new love for me. My critic's heart is not so harsh since you came to me.              You've freed me.                                               But.................. I'm distracted. I'm stuck... thinking... your hand in my  mouth... the other on my wrist... the blankets falling down... There's teeth inside that kiss.                          Even now my breath is ragged... my heart is quick to send oxygen to my                        (you know what) and I.... know I love you for           far more than this...               but.............. OH my GAWD... Did he just? Yes he did. And a smile wouldn't cover how I felt with you last night. Sounds like some **** right? Like I'm lost inside some teenaged ***** and thinking only of my groin but you know me more than I know me. I spent six years waiting  for this...                                 like it could be cultivated.. making love instead of making love. Like the goal was feeling satisfied instead of feeling loved.
0
Aug 16, 2014
Aug 16, 2014 at 11:52 PM UTC
What Are You Doing TO Me?
son spreads knee blood into ******* &/or sidewalk chalk. mixes reds to pinks with head cracking asphalt. of god & country. of soggy bread in a lunch-bag; snackpack readied. he skates. the concussed ****** of booming youth. omega he: to the wolf pack outers. breathing love of summer, he is the son drunk on hi-c & burping. watching teenaged supersoakers yodel on a bridge. florida. son sneaks out late to rationalize the city’s features under strange light & love of nightly people. boy sculpts body out of beast, turned dark corners. arrives swollen. his father erects a roofed flattop in the backyard slab with flood light electronics taught to worship the shred. mother rattles the blender on the kitchen outskirts, ***** breathed & nearing with hugs. blister-itched. glossed folds of scar tissue. those days on summer-beyond when the neighborhood pulsates. with satellite dishes tuneforking high-frequency vibrations from outerspace & pigeons explode. son’s ears bleed, & the television goes unwatched. he snaps plank & ankle protein, refurbishing his legs into iron-rods or wands of summer anthem. cold war. he empties sugar-sweat & toxins into the storm-drain. essence of wet heat, skin pinched, & friend of ghosts. a three legged dog lay in the shade leisurely watching the boy skate on endless.
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Apr 1, 2014
Apr 1, 2014 at 1:11 AM UTC
skateboard gothic
I want to go back, back to my New Orleans This place that I call New Orleans is actually Louisiana But still, the gorgeousness of this dirt and grime The live oaks stretching over the 6-lane wide streets, Touching leaftips, making a canopy over the passerbys Crepe myrtles showering streets with lacy pink faerie dresses Smells of beignets and seafood fill the French Quarter Intense, consuming, warm, loving sun burning through your shirt In New Orleans to say horses sweat, men perspire and women glow is to be ridiculous. In New Orleans everyone sweats like pigs. As for the grime I mentioned, this exists mainly in the sidewalks cracked by live oaks which make an adventure of every walk down the street And in any semi-deserted street To have a Mardi Gras or St. Patrick's Day without a parade and citywide party is to toss aside traditions and the New Orleanian way The New Orleanians are welcoming, hearty and heartwarming, tough and unafraid to talk to a stranger on the streets. An old black man once greeted me with 'konichiwa' as I walked past A middle aged white man once struck up a conversation with us as he realised we had shared the same ferry earlier in the day An old asian woman conversed familiarly with our family at Cafe Du Monde simply because we are Vietnamese as well A teenaged white boy waved at us as we drove past him jogging A different old black man stopped and serenaded my siblings, mother and me with his trumpet just because we smiled Several young mothers and women have stopped my mother to gush  over my siblings and me, usually when we were very small I, myself, have given directions to a tourist or two, lost near Cafe Du Monde or the levee, And I hope that the warm smiling spirit of the Big Easy will remain forever immortal.
0
Oct 11, 2012
Oct 11, 2012 at 7:33 PM UTC
longing for my new orleans
I want to go back, back to my New Orleans This place that I call New Orleans is actually Louisiana But still, the gorgeousness of this dirt and grime The live oaks stretching over the 6-lane wide streets, Touching leaftips, making a canopy over the passerbys Crepe myrtles showering streets with lacy pink faerie dresses Smells of beignets and seafood fill the French Quarter Intense, consuming, warm, loving sun burning through your shirt In New Orleans to say horses sweat, men perspire and women glow is to be ridiculous. In New Orleans everyone sweats like pigs. As for the grime I mentioned, this exists mainly in the sidewalks cracked by live oaks which make an adventure of every walk down the street And in any semi-deserted street To have a Mardi Gras or St. Patrick's Day without a parade and citywide party is to toss aside traditions and the New Orleanian way The New Orleanians are welcoming, hearty and heartwarming, tough and unafraid to talk to a stranger on the streets. An old black man once greeted me with 'konichiwa' as I walked past A middle aged white man once struck up a conversation with us as he realised we had shared the same ferry earlier in the day An old asian woman conversed familiarly with our family at Cafe Du Monde simply because we are Vietnamese as well A teenaged white boy waved at us as we drove past him jogging A different old black man stopped and serenaded my siblings, mother and me with his trumpet just because we smiled Several young mothers and women have stopped my mother to gush  over my siblings and me, usually when we were very small I, myself, have given directions to a tourist or two, lost near Cafe Du Monde or the levee, And I hope that the warm smiling spirit of the Big Easy will remain forever immortal.
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24
A movie star died a day or two ago She was 97. She would to say hello to my mother At evening musicals full of teenaged boys that I lusted after years ago She would wave and smile with sparkling eyes I’d look at mother “Why?” Amused, she would say softly “I don’t know!” We would giggle together A rare event Mother was no chorine nor wardrobe mistress She did not peak in the 50s She did not dance with her husband under the moon at the Bel Air Bay Club Her daughter did not write a pop song that oddly charted She did not struggle to remain in the public’s imagination They had nothing in common but perhaps a lovely face and a skill at survival Mom could make her husband move her closer to Johnny on the dance floor. Whichever direction, Dad obliged. They locked down that school today Warned by a rifle in a photo Of an unstable football pro These women are dead now so none’s the wiser “When you’re a victim of bullying, an option is revenge." said the alumna. “Just a precaution,” replied the school. Mother would have been 97 this year as well. Maybe they’ve met again, two streaks of illuminated emptiness Engaging with reservations Over fitting in and going insane Over the low self-regard in a champion or Being lost at sea.
0
Aug 16, 2018
Aug 16, 2018 at 5:26 PM UTC
After School Activities
I, Am a teenaged girl Lost between the deminsions of Fantasy And Reality. I am a Filipino and Mexican Knowing no spanish Lost in a language my mother has forgotten. I am what it means to be a human being. Trying my best to be there Making zillions of mistakes that end up drowning me in the end. Wanting to remember but always forgetting Wanting to help but saying the wrong things at the wrong time. Trying to find a place in the world Only to end up being isolated like a lone wolf. I am what it means to be a student, Not loving the whole school system but trying her best to prove it wrong. Educated by watching the world, day by day, Philosophizing life Analyzing the story lines that mean something Surviving in a jungle we call High School And day by day, Struggling in classes just to pass it. I am, what it means to be not so smart, not stupid at all but a hard worker, learning everything I can with the little time the school system provides. So, Who am I? Well for starters, To tell you who I am, I'd have to spend the majoirty of my life writing a one hundred paged book, With only one page that has one sentence of writing that says, "Too much to say, ask me another day." Who I am, Is a teenaged-Filipina-Latina-video gaming-anime loving-poetry/story writing-girl Who is always lost in her own world~
0
Dec 11, 2011
Dec 11, 2011 at 4:18 AM UTC
Who am I?
The local mall now has a Spenser’s Gifts; I remember that place fondly as Al and I make our way. It’s where I sneaked a peek at Samantha Fox’s **** for the first time, saw my first **** ring, wondering why anyone would want one. I bought my first Metallica shirt at a Spencer’s; spending twenty of my dad’s dollars. Spencer’s and Record Wear House were sanctuaries; my escape from what my classmates took for normal. I took my son into that store so that he could see the X-Men hats and Deadpool shirts, the banana and pickle pens caught his eye, but I had to point out one more. “What’s that one?” I asked. Alex made a face, but in the end he did what any 14 year old boy should, he chuckled. I took him in that store so that we both could escape. Earlier he walked the mall a good fifteen feet ahead of us. We stopped for ice cream. He chose a soda and wouldn’t sit with us. It took a second, but I figured him out. He was trying his teenaged self out; testing his wings. As we walked, he’d wave at classmates and be either sturdily ignored or given a cursory nod. It was obvious that he wanted so much more. It pained us, my wife and I. So, I took him into Spencer’s gifts in an effort to remove some of his innocence and awkwardness. It may not have been the wisest move, but at least, for a moment, both of us felt peace. -JB CLaywell ©P&ZPublications; 2014
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Aug 19, 2014
Aug 19, 2014 at 8:17 PM UTC
***** Pens and **** You Hats
i didnt know that my cousins birthday party was today and so i shoved bleeding legs into jeans and pulled a plaid shirt over the parts of my skin that are wide open and i ate the safe things and pressed tears back into the dark circles below my eyes found a scale upstairs and pale blue display pulled me in i dont know any of the things that the teenaged girls one year older than me think im just a fractured kid one year younger than them but worlds apart
0
May 16, 2015
May 16, 2015 at 9:54 PM UTC
birthday party one year older than i am
She worked in the market She sold flowers and jewellery but, nobody there knew her name With fifty young vendors Of flowers and jewellery Each teenaged young girl looked the same No one remembered the smiling blue eyes The child like lilt to her voice No one remembered the smiling blue  eyes Or the way that she blushed for the boys No one remembered the smiling blue eyes They all could be one and the same No one remembered the smiling blue  eyes or her hair, or her smile or her name She was hitch hiking home From the market one night A car pulled on up for a ride He told her he'd take her If she needed a lift It was cold,  so the girl  got inside No one remembered the smiling blue eyes The child like lilt to her voice No one remembered the smiling blue  eyes Or the way that she blushed for the boys No one remembered the smiling blue eyes They all could be one and the same No one remembered the smiling blue  eyes or her hair, or her smile or her name No one has seen her She's been gone for three days She never arrived at her home Nobody saw him All cars look the same And besides he was travelling alone No one remembered the smiling blue eyes The child like lilt to her voice No one remembered the smiling blue  eyes Or the way that she blushed for the boys No one remembered the smiling blue eyes They all could be one and the same No one remembered the smiling blue  eyes or her hair, or her smile or her name The market still bustles With sellers of flowers Where everyone looks, shops or buys But, something is missing A young girl is gone The girl with the smiling blue eyes No one remembered the smiling blue eyes The child like lilt to her voice No one remembered the smiling blue  eyes Or the way that she blushed for the boys No one remembered the smiling blue eyes They all could be one and the same No one remembered the smiling blue  eyes or her hair, or her smile or her name
0
May 3, 2014
May 3, 2014 at 8:51 PM UTC
The girl with the smiling blue eyes
She worked in the market She sold flowers and jewellery but, nobody there knew her name With fifty young vendors Of flowers and jewellery Each teenaged young girl looked the same No one remembered the smiling blue eyes The child like lilt to her voice No one remembered the smiling blue  eyes Or the way that she blushed for the boys No one remembered the smiling blue eyes They all could be one and the same No one remembered the smiling blue  eyes or her hair, or her smile or her name She was hitch hiking home From the market one night A car pulled on up for a ride He told her he'd take her If she needed a lift It was cold,  so the girl  got inside No one remembered the smiling blue eyes The child like lilt to her voice No one remembered the smiling blue  eyes Or the way that she blushed for the boys No one remembered the smiling blue eyes They all could be one and the same No one remembered the smiling blue  eyes or her hair, or her smile or her name No one has seen her She's been gone for three days She never arrived at her home Nobody saw him All cars look the same And besides he was travelling alone No one remembered the smiling blue eyes The child like lilt to her voice No one remembered the smiling blue  eyes Or the way that she blushed for the boys No one remembered the smiling blue eyes They all could be one and the same No one remembered the smiling blue  eyes or her hair, or her smile or her name The market still bustles With sellers of flowers Where everyone looks, shops or buys But, something is missing A young girl is gone The girl with the smiling blue eyes No one remembered the smiling blue eyes The child like lilt to her voice No one remembered the smiling blue  eyes Or the way that she blushed for the boys No one remembered the smiling blue eyes They all could be one and the same No one remembered the smiling blue  eyes or her hair, or her smile or her name
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56
Imagine yourself a red ceramic Poppy, placed with care into the English soil. One hundred years ago you were a soldier, a frightened teen in a chaotic world. You’d been sent, by King’s command, into the battle- A mindless melee John French thought he’d won. Perhaps some yards of France had been reclaimed at a mind numbing cost of mothers’ sons. You were one of those shot, gassed or burned. Hit by a shell and blown to kingdom come. (In ‘fourteen they had funerals for the fallen. Mass burials became the norm before Verdun.) That’s how you went from the playing fields of Eton to an unmarked grave somewhere in Northern France. So now you are a red ceramic poppy, a symbol of an Empire, now passed. Placed in English soil by teenaged hands. one of nine hundred thousand home at last.
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Jul 30, 2014
Jul 30, 2014 at 6:08 AM UTC
Red Ceramic Poppy
I’ve had this red heart shaped locket for 12 years now. I got it as a gumball prize at a rundown Chinese restaurant (maybe in Germantown?) A lot of the paint has chipped off and the tiny keys to it are long gone. What shows beneath the paint is shinny tin. When I was a tacky teen I would wear it clasped around my neck imitating Sid but not knowing it. I always wanted someone to give me something like this but I impatiently jumped the gun and cranked the dial of the machine myself, and the tiny Valentine rolled out. (SINCERELY, YOURS TRULY) No sentiment to share. Now I’m nearly 30 and it hangs on my key chain, a teenaged 50 cent memory amongst adult responsibility. If you see me standing crossed arm at a show, and spy my red locket, know that I’m an advocate of living in the past, and harboring silly passions.
0
Oct 1, 2013
Oct 1, 2013 at 1:24 PM UTC
red locket
Cracked vinyl bus seats Windows that have heard the stories of every passanger smeared with truth The spit of the elderly woman who fell asleep while reminiscing about the son whom she's visiting that she hasn't seen in 35 years The stubbled cheeks of the older gentleman who is counting the pennies in his pocket on his way to the store to get food for his daughter The knitted scarf of the middle-aged woman who is slowly pulling her coat closer to her in an attempt to warm herself because it was the only article of clothing she could afford that year The ponytail of the teenaged girl who is tracing the scars on her wrist from the last time she tried to end her life They congregate for a common purpose, but The doors to their hearts open like the hinged door, letting anyone haphazardly stumble in for a moment, And Their souls are brighter than the lights of the megabus as they are honest with themselves for even just a minute And their walls are temporarily demolished because who would ever have to lie about who they are on a greyhound bus? Smooth polished church pews Floors that have been tread upon by every saint stained with lies The flats of the elderly woman who is nodding off while pretending to pray for the son whom she hasn't spoken to in 35 years The loafers of the older gentleman who is calculating the amount of money he can sneak from the spagetti dinner fund without getting caught The high heels of the middle-aged woman who is slowly pulling up her skirt on one side in an attempt to catch the attention of the younger men further down the pew, while her husband holds her hand on the other The tennis shoes of the teenaged girl who is tracing the bruises under her blouse from the last time she started a fight with her boyfriend They congregate for a common purpose, but Their masks are painted on more elaborately than the Sistine Chapel And Their lies are built up more intricately than the stained-glass windows that surround them As they read their words to live by from a book collecting dust in drawers throughout America because who could be anything but holy in a church?
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Jul 2, 2013
Jul 2, 2013 at 12:46 PM UTC
Anything But Holy
Cracked vinyl bus seats Windows that have heard the stories of every passanger smeared with truth The spit of the elderly woman who fell asleep while reminiscing about the son whom she's visiting that she hasn't seen in 35 years The stubbled cheeks of the older gentleman who is counting the pennies in his pocket on his way to the store to get food for his daughter The knitted scarf of the middle-aged woman who is slowly pulling her coat closer to her in an attempt to warm herself because it was the only article of clothing she could afford that year The ponytail of the teenaged girl who is tracing the scars on her wrist from the last time she tried to end her life They congregate for a common purpose, but The doors to their hearts open like the hinged door, letting anyone haphazardly stumble in for a moment, And Their souls are brighter than the lights of the megabus as they are honest with themselves for even just a minute And their walls are temporarily demolished because who would ever have to lie about who they are on a greyhound bus? Smooth polished church pews Floors that have been tread upon by every saint stained with lies The flats of the elderly woman who is nodding off while pretending to pray for the son whom she hasn't spoken to in 35 years The loafers of the older gentleman who is calculating the amount of money he can sneak from the spagetti dinner fund without getting caught The high heels of the middle-aged woman who is slowly pulling up her skirt on one side in an attempt to catch the attention of the younger men further down the pew, while her husband holds her hand on the other The tennis shoes of the teenaged girl who is tracing the bruises under her blouse from the last time she started a fight with her boyfriend They congregate for a common purpose, but Their masks are painted on more elaborately than the Sistine Chapel And Their lies are built up more intricately than the stained-glass windows that surround them As they read their words to live by from a book collecting dust in drawers throughout America because who could be anything but holy in a church?
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22
Hold me close, I'm a walking cliché Flitting around in Converse sneakers And that stupid old army jacket Bet me $5 I could go for an hour Without my lips uttering *"Consumerism, capitalism, Elitist ***** -the usual ******** And I'll lose Hold me close, I'm a stupid teenaged kid Stomping around my room saying "Can't they just listen for a change?" And slamming doors to prove a point And when I go to house parties I'll sport my trusty skull shirt Just so they know without a doubt I'm different from them Hold me close, I'm running around Like a chicken with its head cut off Running my mouth like a politician And spewing my thoughts like a hippie I'm a ****** hypocrite and it kills me But I'll just lay awake at night and think *"How are they content with living this way? Like hamsters in a wheel? Dogs in a cage?"* Then tomorrow I'll sit down And reread the same old poems To make me feel okay Hold me close, I'm an idiot kid and I just want to be someone
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Jun 2, 2013
Jun 2, 2013 at 1:32 AM UTC
Hold Me Close
After the painting by Fritz Von Uhde (1848 – 1911)   Sophie is twelve Hanna thirteen dear pinafored girls both home from school this summer afternoon they sit knee to knee but far enough away from mothers’ chatter at tea on the terrace.   The girls have gossip of their own to share and talk is ten to the dozen (and more) whilst Hanna turns the pages of a story book (with pictures): a woodcutter’s daughter a handsome young squire ensnared with love by a magiced white owl there’s a castle by a lake an endless forest  dark a mountainous domain so far away so long ago.   Poised in the doorway of their teenaged years our girls imagine the courteous attentions of uniformed cadets who one day soon may very well sit at the garden table in the dappled shade and silently gaze with longing on their oh so delicate charms.
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Feb 1, 2013
Feb 1, 2013 at 1:15 AM UTC
Zwei Mädchen im Garten
This isn't a story about how I overcame a past demon or how I beat the bully with the power of friendship, because you and I both know that didn't happen.   I don't want this to be another sad teenaged story about how my boyfriend broke up with me or how my best friend kissed my crush. This is a story about how I was born an unlucky kid who I was blessed with tears instead of smiles, who has more love for other than for herself, who is more willing to die than to live. I'm just an unlucky kid who debates whether to live life or to end it.
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Aug 18, 2015
Aug 18, 2015 at 2:07 PM UTC
Story
Know-it-all revelation celebration deflated with a "no you ******* don't" Cartesian cliche quotation. So imagine mom's elation when she finally shut the **** up and moved up in conformist ranks set trends and bred friends. Thanks! Thanks friends. Without you I'm just some pearly whites, a sundress and a skewed perception of what is wrong and what is right Future bright, like some little paper lantern glowing but if the flame kisses pulp than than just gulp and take up sewing. Because you're growing with the notion you're just some fish up in the ocean attracting fish nets with fishnets floatinghopingchoking Choking on your words over 3 syllables it's a drag I'm feeling bad for the fact that I'm a man **** you dad. A slight ephebophillic fascination for the fairy folk Till she spoke, and ruined the illusion I was going for Little girls turned shiny objects auctioned off to flyest bidder Quit her after several children, physical evidence you did her Hit her too, I feel the burden bared by my sister, hung on the bottom rung just because her organs are within her. teenaged girls are wasted on the their Y possessed cohorts ***** and ****** so guess what? your mother was a ***** too Our system's banging **** ******* "get money" funny we weren't singing that song getting tucked in by our mommys
0
Nov 3, 2011
Nov 3, 2011 at 11:26 AM UTC
Teenagers
A man and a woman come across, If the man displays his ability....... Start the ideal circle of human life, If woman takes interest in him...... They both woo & ****** each other, If succeed they make happy love..... That woman after getting pregnant, Rolls back into herself till delivery.... Whenever a baby is born anywhere, It grows up groomed by its parents... As a baby it is so helpless on its own, It generally makes a noise for itself.. Then the human becomes a little kid, Innocence filled face looks so divine. A teenager sprouts non-visible wings, The human realizes that it's special.. Teenaged souls fly across all lines, Disregarding any type of border... Entangling cobwebs of this world, Try to limit all the human souls.... Disentanglement is a taxing job, Not all teenagers grow freely..... They step into adulthood, And often so maturely...... They just succeed in love, Start circle yet again.......
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Jul 3, 2014
Jul 3, 2014 at 1:41 PM UTC
Circle of Life
i am a product of this society i pick-pocketed my personality from a ghastly array of tv shows and teenaged drama if you would like a re-run of last night's late night sitcom i'm at your service i am a product of this society if you want some fashion advice from me because i dress so well log on to pinterest they'll tell you exactly what i would because everything i wear no matter how weird or ugly i wear because they told me to i am a product of this society i do not think for me i have an iphone that has replaced the normal functions of my brain it remembers everything for me i know everyone we talk all the time i text really fast i'm so connected i mean, i'm plugged into everything... i am a product of this society my thighs don't touch and a lovely mountain ridge adorns my back a cavern in my belly come explore me a beautiful bony product of this society I AM A PRODUCT OF THIS SOCIETY and you all should really stop blaming me for being a social deviant for being unwilling to conform to this new normal sanity isn't statistical and this isn't 1984 meaning: just because a billion people do this **** it doesn't make it right doesn't make it make sense i will not hold onto your tail and follow you blindly, society because you don't know where the **** you're going anyway if we progress one more step we'll all be dead
0
May 18, 2013
May 18, 2013 at 9:37 PM UTC
dancing tv-heads
The problem is I do like him. I certainly hate him But I also like him. I like the way he capitalizes the beginnings of his sentences over text,  I like the cute little crinkles that appear in his forehead when he smiles The coy way he responds to flirtation with something like "Oh really now?" I like how he calls things "sweet", the way he says "aww" I even f!cking like his annoying as hell overuse of the phrase "haha" when he texts which ****** me off, I like how he is the only teenaged boy I know who says something is "quite" fun and how he uses the word "lovely" to describe things because no one uses that word anymore and more people should. I like how he has an immense love for Spiderman, How he has all these aspirations of travelling all over in the future I like how he wants to live in England one day, I like that he is into cooking and drinks coffee and hot chocolate and how his favorite book is "Looking for Alaska" and how he's read everyone of John Green's books and how he wants to be a writer one day. I just remember the dumbest little things that I still like about him For instance how he likes Neil Gaiman and loud screamy music even though I hate that stuff, how he is the only one in his fractured family who doesn't speak French but his older sister and mother do. He has a dog named Charlie and when he was a kid he always spelled "subtle" wrong. I just don't know *** is wrong with me I should have known better. I should hate him for half this stuff and all the rest of the reasons I have to loathe him but it's hard to forget those little details about him. I just hate feeling like a broken lock. A lock of dark secrets and completely irrepairable. Though it's not the fact that Im irrepairable that bothers me as much as feeling so... replaceable. Idk. Maybe I need to go out with someone to get him out of my head.
0
Dec 21, 2014
Dec 21, 2014 at 6:30 PM UTC
little details I should really learn to forget
The problem is I do like him. I certainly hate him But I also like him. I like the way he capitalizes the beginnings of his sentences over text,  I like the cute little crinkles that appear in his forehead when he smiles The coy way he responds to flirtation with something like "Oh really now?" I like how he calls things "sweet", the way he says "aww" I even f!cking like his annoying as hell overuse of the phrase "haha" when he texts which ****** me off, I like how he is the only teenaged boy I know who says something is "quite" fun and how he uses the word "lovely" to describe things because no one uses that word anymore and more people should. I like how he has an immense love for Spiderman, How he has all these aspirations of travelling all over in the future I like how he wants to live in England one day, I like that he is into cooking and drinks coffee and hot chocolate and how his favorite book is "Looking for Alaska" and how he's read everyone of John Green's books and how he wants to be a writer one day. I just remember the dumbest little things that I still like about him For instance how he likes Neil Gaiman and loud screamy music even though I hate that stuff, how he is the only one in his fractured family who doesn't speak French but his older sister and mother do. He has a dog named Charlie and when he was a kid he always spelled "subtle" wrong. I just don't know *** is wrong with me I should have known better. I should hate him for half this stuff and all the rest of the reasons I have to loathe him but it's hard to forget those little details about him. I just hate feeling like a broken lock. A lock of dark secrets and completely irrepairable. Though it's not the fact that Im irrepairable that bothers me as much as feeling so... replaceable. Idk. Maybe I need to go out with someone to get him out of my head.
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12
brain dead for years with a tin man’s ticker lost in teenaged conveniences and comfort zones walking through day dreams in the fetal position tinnitus’ tones drowning out the music in my head feeling like puzzle pieces forced together when they don’t really fit like Frankenstein’s monster limping and grunting through High School struggling through classes with some zombie’s ears ditching often to go to the bowling alley graduating unprepared in an inverted reality with polluted brown skies and a blue world wearing the same blue shirt and blue jeans everyday wrapped up tight like a blue eggroll futility’s fortune cookie foreseeing only deafness and poverty hating life and self –EVERYDAY! then, somehow, a song crept under the veil seeping through my tough outer veneers it’s lyrics melting a hardness in my chest it’s music coursing through my body like chi exciting my Brownian motion a simple message of finding oneself delivered in powerful, rich, soulful baritone stamped with profound, moving emotional range inflection mounting upon reflection it’s chorus and theme reverberating I played that record over and over again listening with my toenails I decided right then and there to give it a try that “learning to love yourself”* is a good thing and that ‘good thing’ was who and what I wanted to be
0
Mar 24, 2012
Mar 24, 2012 at 10:53 PM UTC
Rubicon
a little girl, perhaps 5-6, sits in the meadow and picks flowers. she picks the flowers slowly, meticulously. she looks up and sees a beautiful teenaged girl, with a long flowing dress and short hair with splotches missing. the teenager sits with the little girl. "what happened to your hair?" the little one asks. **"once upon a time, I picked flowers just like you. but I picked them all."** the young girl listens and keeps picking her flowers. **"I met a boy who promised I was beautiful and made me feel so."** the teenager begin taking the flowers and winding them together. she grabs her knitting needles out of her handmade purse and continues working on a hat to keep her hands busy. **"he always told me that my head was too pretty for me to be sad."** "Did he love you?" the little girl asks, playing with her hands. **"perhaps he did, but he never said that he did. he never told me."** **"after I ran out of flowers, I began pull- ing my long hair out."** "please don't end up like me." the teenager says, handing the girl the hat.
0
Mar 16, 2014
Mar 16, 2014 at 11:53 AM UTC
trichotillomania (haibun) (proem)
the small wisp of heart i have left was almost wisked away with the dismissal in your face. the dismissal of my family a thing that you have no right to write off like a shopping list of things you already bought i don't give a single **** for your teenaged melodrama it's a holiday and i wanted a ******* photo of the stretched scrap of a family that i have left why couldn't you just let me have one thing that felt normal you are a selfish ******* ******* just like our mother write all the mean poetry you want about how twinkling lights and family photos get old you cut my arms with the things you write little sister, you should be ashamed.
0
Nov 1, 2013
Nov 1, 2013 at 12:56 AM UTC
she hates parties and photos, i hate having no family
Reverting back to my teenaged years I pressed a razor into my thigh I liked the way the blood Mixed with the raspberry & vanilla Suds in the bathtub To make this ombré Of maroon fading To peach My brain's been itchy For weeks I am overwhelmed And imaginaing The bathtub With no bottom Drowning In a ceramic hole That leads nowhere My body Wrapped In Raspberry And Vanilla Soap suds, And my hair Wet And long Between my Shoulder blades I wanna be As pretty As the ocean, A perfect shade Of baby blue, With navy And purple Accents In the deepest Spaces And I wanna be Just as infinite As the ocean, Incomprehensible To the modern Human mind, Everlasting & Impossible Went to take a bath In a room with no windows Disappeared Without a trace And no one will ever know The bottom is an illusion There is so much more Beneath, To dive in Or die in my mind UNRAVELS and lands here At the brink Of reality And delusion And I stay here Because it's easy And it's kinda silly And no one is angry, Not even me But eventually The water Runs cold And I start to feel My Heart beat In my finger tips And as I take the trip Back to my body I dread the dizziness I know is waiting On the other side Cause I cut too deep And now I have to Explain myself In the back of An ambulance And, And, And, "Morgan, Aren't you too ******* old for this?" Oh, How I'm homesick Homesick Inside of myself
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Dec 2, 2016
Dec 2, 2016 at 1:19 AM UTC
Bottomless Bathtub
There were times when I thought For sure That the feast of reality, An all-you-can-eat buffet for the senses, Was surely a mirage In the thirsty desert of my cloudless mind. Sometimes, All I could do was lick my lips, Rub my hands and scheme Because it seemed Too good To be true. I called your name Once or twice; The first time to see if you were there And the second Because I liked the way it tasted On my insatiable teenaged pallet. At first, it tasted like cheap *** A sweet burn, But enough to draw out the fine Delicate strands of truth. One kiss: I'm fine. Two: The gears are loosened. Three and I suppose the rest Is history. I am no lightweight, But the words went straight to my head And I am warm now-- Warm the way thieves are When they steal Supper, Warm the way nuns are When they smoke their Cigarettes. Warm because it's the idea That something so wrong Is now a basic necessity. It's not so wrong, though.
0
Jan 20, 2013
Jan 20, 2013 at 1:30 PM UTC
Softly Softly