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"swore" poems
it was probably a mistake the day you swore her eyelashes were wet from the rain; the night you promised to never belittle the importance of the sun because here she lies, tears precipitating, stomach lurching at the thought of you and I promise you, I swear that the sun could never shine nearly as bright as she did when she started rising and falling for you. you have opacified her radiance you have shunned her selfless light and she who was once a sun is now a hopeless, spiraling monsoon.
0
Sep 28, 2014
Sep 28, 2014 at 4:53 PM UTC
Monsoon//Opacity
Dear insecure, emotional, overthinking young man you've come a long way from way back then you've lost a lot - but had to realize "who hasn't?" your strong will seemed to be mistaken a lot from your passion you've missed out on a lot of love by second guessing & never unmasking why weren't you truly ever satisfied... nah, that's the question that I'm asking... your abandonment issues pushed away the potential of something ever lasting constantly fighting the man in the mirror hopefully with your new life - you see things clearer no one ever knew, with you...who they were gonna get you've missed out on a lot of good times wanting to talk instead of just letting it go and enjoying the time you had left. Your favorite pills were self pity, self indulgence, ignorance and regret you never stopped to listen - stopped talking - hopefully now you allow others words to be said no woman stood a chance... you purposely acted a certain way to avoid the possibility of true love discretely pushing them away until they saw nothing and had enough. don't get me started on your lack of living missed out on a lot of trips, chances and opportunities I hope now you've filled that void that is missing you swore happiness was wealth... power...a line of respect little did you know it was the little things; the calm, the moments the people and things in life worth it and willing to invest. you gave up on a few dreams... figured why fight? countless times your mind would just run... keep you up all night you were so afraid of success... honestly, I never knew why you never freed that little boy trapped - stuck in his father's grasp he was begging for freedom, you left him struck inside everyday was another day you thought was your time. **I hope you live now I hope you see the beauty life truly is I hope you found love I hope you found this** I needed to write this letter to you - so you can see how far you have come you can see that change is real you can see all that you have become Bland Douglas Simpkins, that's the man you should be proud to be no matter what challenges you were faced with those obstacles were needed, needed to make it to this me thank those who've came into your life - not all were meant to last some forced you left - others showed you right no matter what, some were needed in your past. So... Dear future self, please understand - I'm sorry. For all that I put you through the truth remains - that without me - just know... there would be no you.
0
Oct 10, 2016
Oct 10, 2016 at 7:14 PM UTC
Letter to my future self
Dear insecure, emotional, overthinking young man you've come a long way from way back then you've lost a lot - but had to realize "who hasn't?" your strong will seemed to be mistaken a lot from your passion you've missed out on a lot of love by second guessing & never unmasking why weren't you truly ever satisfied... nah, that's the question that I'm asking... your abandonment issues pushed away the potential of something ever lasting constantly fighting the man in the mirror hopefully with your new life - you see things clearer no one ever knew, with you...who they were gonna get you've missed out on a lot of good times wanting to talk instead of just letting it go and enjoying the time you had left. Your favorite pills were self pity, self indulgence, ignorance and regret you never stopped to listen - stopped talking - hopefully now you allow others words to be said no woman stood a chance... you purposely acted a certain way to avoid the possibility of true love discretely pushing them away until they saw nothing and had enough. don't get me started on your lack of living missed out on a lot of trips, chances and opportunities I hope now you've filled that void that is missing you swore happiness was wealth... power...a line of respect little did you know it was the little things; the calm, the moments the people and things in life worth it and willing to invest. you gave up on a few dreams... figured why fight? countless times your mind would just run... keep you up all night you were so afraid of success... honestly, I never knew why you never freed that little boy trapped - stuck in his father's grasp he was begging for freedom, you left him struck inside everyday was another day you thought was your time. **I hope you live now I hope you see the beauty life truly is I hope you found love I hope you found this** I needed to write this letter to you - so you can see how far you have come you can see that change is real you can see all that you have become Bland Douglas Simpkins, that's the man you should be proud to be no matter what challenges you were faced with those obstacles were needed, needed to make it to this me thank those who've came into your life - not all were meant to last some forced you left - others showed you right no matter what, some were needed in your past. So... Dear future self, please understand - I'm sorry. For all that I put you through the truth remains - that without me - just know... there would be no you.
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47
this is a tale of two star-crossed lovers with a love so powerful they tainted the heavens with bursts of colours they were never meant to be; mischievous little kids finding love in sinful glee in laughter, between dreams and reality and though it was lawless, they found solace because in every prison, they found a rhyme and a reason but even for a love so great, they could not escape the fates’ wrath and envy destiny pulled on their threads cut them loose, thrusted them into misery; for their memories were wiped clean, but feelings remained as strong as they had ever been the boy exiled in a far off land across the pacific sea the girl trapped in her need to break free in a realm both boring and bland ensnared in a labyrinth of woe the lovers yearned for anything— for something, for someone, to obliterate this endless longing the gods answered them in the form of two loved ones polished in every edge, a perfect someone but perfect felt too perfect and not perfect enough to fill up the hole left by a perfectly imperfect until one day the gods whispered for the winds to push the two and the birds to tug at their sleeves over mountain and sea even through the darkest valley so their paths would finally meet and so they did. in the flurry of a moment a pair of brown eyes met and time was frozen once more the two stared intently as if remembering a broken melody a lost childhood song branded as a wrong the birds fluttered and flew taking the cursed red fibre snipped them in two and the lovers felt all the lighter it was the girl who spoke first: **** the stars. i don’t want perfect, i want you.”* eyes dazzling, the boy nodded: *“we’ll invert the universe— the night sky a blank white the stars pitch black the earth moving in reverse”* the fates saw and surrendered as the stars began to wither for this love is love in all its splendor so the lovers walked away with a promise under their breaths, they both swore: *“i lost you once, but nevermore.”* ****
0
Jan 21, 2018
Jan 21, 2018 at 10:46 PM UTC
f*** the stars
this is a tale of two star-crossed lovers with a love so powerful they tainted the heavens with bursts of colours they were never meant to be; mischievous little kids finding love in sinful glee in laughter, between dreams and reality and though it was lawless, they found solace because in every prison, they found a rhyme and a reason but even for a love so great, they could not escape the fates’ wrath and envy destiny pulled on their threads cut them loose, thrusted them into misery; for their memories were wiped clean, but feelings remained as strong as they had ever been the boy exiled in a far off land across the pacific sea the girl trapped in her need to break free in a realm both boring and bland ensnared in a labyrinth of woe the lovers yearned for anything— for something, for someone, to obliterate this endless longing the gods answered them in the form of two loved ones polished in every edge, a perfect someone but perfect felt too perfect and not perfect enough to fill up the hole left by a perfectly imperfect until one day the gods whispered for the winds to push the two and the birds to tug at their sleeves over mountain and sea even through the darkest valley so their paths would finally meet and so they did. in the flurry of a moment a pair of brown eyes met and time was frozen once more the two stared intently as if remembering a broken melody a lost childhood song branded as a wrong the birds fluttered and flew taking the cursed red fibre snipped them in two and the lovers felt all the lighter it was the girl who spoke first: **** the stars. i don’t want perfect, i want you.”* eyes dazzling, the boy nodded: *“we’ll invert the universe— the night sky a blank white the stars pitch black the earth moving in reverse”* the fates saw and surrendered as the stars began to wither for this love is love in all its splendor so the lovers walked away with a promise under their breaths, they both swore: *“i lost you once, but nevermore.”* ****
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73
Goodnight, my Princess. Goodnight, my every hue. Goodnight, my moon and stars above. Goodnight, my darling, true. Goodnight, my universe, My everything and more. Goodnight, my trusted faithful, And hark to hear the score. Goodnight, my Beautiful, And trust my words are true For lest the sun rise suddenly, I'll start to write of you. Goodnight, my single Only, For it is to you whom I have swore Never to lie, never to cheat, Never to late return. Goodnight, my dearest sunshine, 'Till dawn shall bring us to, And dream of me, my Princess, As I shall dream of you.
0
May 16, 2016
May 16, 2016 at 5:09 PM UTC
Goodnight, my Princess
Saw it all, One last time... Slowly, pressed "DELETE" Swore to myself, This mistake shall not repeat. But I know, you know I was bluffing. It happened again. I saw it all one more time, One last time. But this time, my hands don't tremble I press not slowly, but swiftly "DELETE" And I know, for sure, It won't repeat.
0
Mar 12, 2019
Mar 12, 2019 at 1:59 PM UTC
Delete.
I remember the rains that day, A shower of hate that won’t go away, The day seven of the year ninety four, When pain suddenly opened the door, And nothing was ever going to be the same anymore, With machetes and guns they marched, Aiming for our limbs to detach, Sworn they did that no INYENZI would escape their grasp, They swore that all would experience their wrath, Genocide it was called but the truth not told, The rains struck hard smell of rotting flesh, Cries from a distance heard but ignored, No one would even dare talk or whisper, **** the cockroaches was the message from the speaker, It was the rainy season the beginning of a massacre, Women and children are alienated from their land, Refugees in camps away from their land, The African holocaust had began in Rwanda, It took a while for the world to ponder, The ones who had the power to stop it kept quiet, They gave neither reason nor excuse for their silence, They waited until we all lost our patience, It was the rains in Rwanda the day of mourning, It was the season to prepare for farming, But I can bet the world saw it coming, But none gave a **** from the beginning, And so began the killing, Brothers and sisters turned enemy, Neighbors turned into strangers, **** ****** mutilation humiliation torture, Tribal hatred fueled by the west, When will Africa come to rest? And understand that we are one race, One love one place one earth, Let’s have love and peace, BY ISSAI
0
Apr 8, 2014
Apr 8, 2014 at 3:24 AM UTC
THE RAINS IN RWANDA
I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am a captive Taken from my home Away from love and care Now I live in fear In the midst of the unknown I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu Oh! You have forgotten me, probably I wouldn't blame you I am just a girl, you thought But I am Nigeria And I could be just your girl Yet you go to bed with both eyes closed Because I am just a girl. How do you sleep? How do you find peace? How do you laugh with satisfaction And Find rest? Knowing I am Leah Sharibu And I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu Who is she? I can hear you ask. Oh! You've forgotten? I am that "Dapchi girl" Kidnapped with her school mates But they are free and I am not They gained their lives back Because they are what I am not That's what some people thought But I am not just "that Dapchi girl" I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria And I am a captive I am in chains I am in bonds I am in pains And I am not free I am still missing I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu I am a Christian That's what you said But I am more than a Christian I am a girl child I am a woman I am a daughter I am a mother And I am a wife But I am more than all these Yes! I am I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria Though you called me a Christian Undoubtedly I am Was that not why you left me behind? Was that not why you've left me till now? How callous? How unpatriotic? You swore an oath to protect me But you lied You think calling me a Christian Will clear your conscience But you lie! I am Nigeria That's my identity I am Leah Sharibu I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I have been betrayed By Deceivers parading themselves as leaders By cowards parading themselves as heroes By liers who embraces you with a dagger I have been betrayed By enemies camouflaged as friends I thought they cared about me But all they want is a piece of me. So they don't care if I bleed I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am not missing You can see me But you've refused to free me You've made me your slave Everyday you **** me Everyday you **** me Everyday you brutalise me Everyday you torment me Despite the oath you swore to protect me You have become my terror My Kidnapper My tormentor My killer My captor My destroyer I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I can see, you don't care, who I am You think I will just pass away Like a shadow in the night Another figure among the many lost So you hope But you lie I am your fear I am your shame I am your story Ugly but true I am your cross You must bear I am your pain And I won't go away I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria You can **** me But I won't die Though ****** with many swords And bleeding on all sides You will always hear my cries Because I live on.... You can try to hide me Like a woman's nature call But I won't go away I will be your nightmare And walk the night in your sleep I will be your nemesis And follow you to your grave I will be your infamy Lay you bare for the world to see I will be the truth That topples your lies And I pray that I will be your end So you'd be no more I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria Another night has come And I pray for sleep Not knowing if I will see the dawning of a new day You expect me to be weak To break down and fall You expect me to be feeble and frail But I won't Everyday I see the sun I will grow strong Everyday I take a breath I shall be agile able Don't expect me to give up For I shall win at last I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria.
0
Jan 24, 2021
Jan 24, 2021 at 7:13 PM UTC
I AM LEAH SHARIBU
I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am a captive Taken from my home Away from love and care Now I live in fear In the midst of the unknown I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu Oh! You have forgotten me, probably I wouldn't blame you I am just a girl, you thought But I am Nigeria And I could be just your girl Yet you go to bed with both eyes closed Because I am just a girl. How do you sleep? How do you find peace? How do you laugh with satisfaction And Find rest? Knowing I am Leah Sharibu And I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu Who is she? I can hear you ask. Oh! You've forgotten? I am that "Dapchi girl" Kidnapped with her school mates But they are free and I am not They gained their lives back Because they are what I am not That's what some people thought But I am not just "that Dapchi girl" I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria And I am a captive I am in chains I am in bonds I am in pains And I am not free I am still missing I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu I am a Christian That's what you said But I am more than a Christian I am a girl child I am a woman I am a daughter I am a mother And I am a wife But I am more than all these Yes! I am I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria Though you called me a Christian Undoubtedly I am Was that not why you left me behind? Was that not why you've left me till now? How callous? How unpatriotic? You swore an oath to protect me But you lied You think calling me a Christian Will clear your conscience But you lie! I am Nigeria That's my identity I am Leah Sharibu I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I have been betrayed By Deceivers parading themselves as leaders By cowards parading themselves as heroes By liers who embraces you with a dagger I have been betrayed By enemies camouflaged as friends I thought they cared about me But all they want is a piece of me. So they don't care if I bleed I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am not missing You can see me But you've refused to free me You've made me your slave Everyday you **** me Everyday you **** me Everyday you brutalise me Everyday you torment me Despite the oath you swore to protect me You have become my terror My Kidnapper My tormentor My killer My captor My destroyer I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I can see, you don't care, who I am You think I will just pass away Like a shadow in the night Another figure among the many lost So you hope But you lie I am your fear I am your shame I am your story Ugly but true I am your cross You must bear I am your pain And I won't go away I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria You can **** me But I won't die Though ****** with many swords And bleeding on all sides You will always hear my cries Because I live on.... You can try to hide me Like a woman's nature call But I won't go away I will be your nightmare And walk the night in your sleep I will be your nemesis And follow you to your grave I will be your infamy Lay you bare for the world to see I will be the truth That topples your lies And I pray that I will be your end So you'd be no more I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria Another night has come And I pray for sleep Not knowing if I will see the dawning of a new day You expect me to be weak To break down and fall You expect me to be feeble and frail But I won't Everyday I see the sun I will grow strong Everyday I take a breath I shall be agile able Don't expect me to give up For I shall win at last I am Leah Sharibu I am Nigeria.
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162
I talk words of lust with a boy unaware I know not if it's unjust if he knew that i would dare To be touching lips with another and another after that 3 boys who want me and on top of that... an ex-lover who awaits her love to be reciprocated by one she had wronged by me, yes, I she has wronged. and alas, the sister of a friend whom i am confused upon if i should love her or not fool, you may think that she is the last one another girl at school she is but a year older i see her from time to time rarely i seek for her she is but a crush the sister, but a dream the ex-lover - such a waste and though it may seem that i am an adultress because of all these men but judge me not i don't belong to any of them commit, you say it is for the best but if i do so again i may have to rip out my chest it hurts beyond words and the pain - i may not be able to bare and i'd have to swallow the hurt again till i am too numb to give a care so tell me, kind stranger, what would you do? if you had 3 boys and 1 girl loving you another girl, you might love and another girl, as a crush don't you think it's a tad bit too much? though, i can't control it I need to be reassured that though my love betrayed me this broken vessel be cured by something more real it has to exist something i wont be afraid to love something far greater than a kiss something others cant take from me something thats just mine something that i can have and keep for all time so tell me, kind stranger, do you take me for a fool? you think i don't know that such thing is hard to find? that it is but impossible because i am still so blind i'll find my happiness i pray to the gods i do but only once i stop thinking of finding it is when id find you you. whom i have poured my heart and soul out to without giving a rat's *** one i'm not afraid of - i'm afraid of everything. you, who is not wearing a mask. if you tell me that you're right there id lose all faith in man kind because i know you're not i know that now. if you tell me you wont hurt me don't say another word because i know you will hurt me i know that now. but i can love myself i can live for myself, too i know that now i don't exactly have to live for you. it is my life this is my world but i'm lonely because i'm too scared to be that broken hearted girl the one who cried the one who swore and hit her lover and walked out the door even if i could i wouldn't change a thing because through this mangled heart i can love true again someday..
0
Nov 9, 2012
Nov 9, 2012 at 10:31 PM UTC
Someday
I talk words of lust with a boy unaware I know not if it's unjust if he knew that i would dare To be touching lips with another and another after that 3 boys who want me and on top of that... an ex-lover who awaits her love to be reciprocated by one she had wronged by me, yes, I she has wronged. and alas, the sister of a friend whom i am confused upon if i should love her or not fool, you may think that she is the last one another girl at school she is but a year older i see her from time to time rarely i seek for her she is but a crush the sister, but a dream the ex-lover - such a waste and though it may seem that i am an adultress because of all these men but judge me not i don't belong to any of them commit, you say it is for the best but if i do so again i may have to rip out my chest it hurts beyond words and the pain - i may not be able to bare and i'd have to swallow the hurt again till i am too numb to give a care so tell me, kind stranger, what would you do? if you had 3 boys and 1 girl loving you another girl, you might love and another girl, as a crush don't you think it's a tad bit too much? though, i can't control it I need to be reassured that though my love betrayed me this broken vessel be cured by something more real it has to exist something i wont be afraid to love something far greater than a kiss something others cant take from me something thats just mine something that i can have and keep for all time so tell me, kind stranger, do you take me for a fool? you think i don't know that such thing is hard to find? that it is but impossible because i am still so blind i'll find my happiness i pray to the gods i do but only once i stop thinking of finding it is when id find you you. whom i have poured my heart and soul out to without giving a rat's *** one i'm not afraid of - i'm afraid of everything. you, who is not wearing a mask. if you tell me that you're right there id lose all faith in man kind because i know you're not i know that now. if you tell me you wont hurt me don't say another word because i know you will hurt me i know that now. but i can love myself i can live for myself, too i know that now i don't exactly have to live for you. it is my life this is my world but i'm lonely because i'm too scared to be that broken hearted girl the one who cried the one who swore and hit her lover and walked out the door even if i could i wouldn't change a thing because through this mangled heart i can love true again someday..
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90
the icarus you know the icarus you knew the icarus who has fallen the one who is an icarus anew has loved a star that is brighter than usual but a star that shines just like every other star nothing new but a star can blind you when it gets too close when YOU get too close but icarus didnt mind because you wouldnt know how blind you are until the light's suddenly off The star had fallen Much like icarus himself But he has fallen gracefully and at will Unlike icarus who was ripped of his wings and had fallen ill But together they stayed And together they grew Icarus and his star had started anew But what icarus didn't know Or rather, what he decided to ignore Was that the sun was a star And a star has to prioritize light over love It happened once when his sun chose to shine, still Even though it knew that it would melt off icarus's wings And it happened again with his star As his star starts to lose his light "I have to go home and see to it that my light doesn't go off" The star said as he prepares himself "You're leaving me" icarus said Blinded by his needs and his selfishness "It's not like that my love. I would never want to lose you but I cannot lose myself for you" the star had said through his tears He saw icarus was not hearing him Was not understnding him So he did what he swore not to do He broke his own heart and left only with half of a whole That was the last that icarus heard of his star Now he wears his heart in his sleeves and his stars heart around his neck And now the icarus you know the icarus you knew the icarus who has fallen the one who is an icarus anew has loved a star that is brighter than usual And loves him still, but on a brighter point of view
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Aug 14, 2018
Aug 14, 2018 at 12:34 AM UTC
Icarus and his star
the icarus you know the icarus you knew the icarus who has fallen the one who is an icarus anew has loved a star that is brighter than usual but a star that shines just like every other star nothing new but a star can blind you when it gets too close when YOU get too close but icarus didnt mind because you wouldnt know how blind you are until the light's suddenly off The star had fallen Much like icarus himself But he has fallen gracefully and at will Unlike icarus who was ripped of his wings and had fallen ill But together they stayed And together they grew Icarus and his star had started anew But what icarus didn't know Or rather, what he decided to ignore Was that the sun was a star And a star has to prioritize light over love It happened once when his sun chose to shine, still Even though it knew that it would melt off icarus's wings And it happened again with his star As his star starts to lose his light "I have to go home and see to it that my light doesn't go off" The star said as he prepares himself "You're leaving me" icarus said Blinded by his needs and his selfishness "It's not like that my love. I would never want to lose you but I cannot lose myself for you" the star had said through his tears He saw icarus was not hearing him Was not understnding him So he did what he swore not to do He broke his own heart and left only with half of a whole That was the last that icarus heard of his star Now he wears his heart in his sleeves and his stars heart around his neck And now the icarus you know the icarus you knew the icarus who has fallen the one who is an icarus anew has loved a star that is brighter than usual And loves him still, but on a brighter point of view
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44
I. And my hair became too much It overtook the walls made its way into the office on the sixth floor and then hung like a dripping willow’s branches over the desks By the time they thought to find me I’d already been wrapped up in a cocoon of brown hair   indistinguishable from the walls that was now also covered in the thick strands of undulated hair II. everything and everyone became consumed. III. In hairy chrysalis, the scissors uselessly hung on some poor frantic pair of hands forced into pupa IV. It was on the third day that the streets surrounding the corporate buildings were once again populated with people, that a young woman in heels swore she heard a faint choral singing coming from the 5th or 6th floor of a dreary grey building. V. everything cocooned everyone consumed all in pupa VI. During metamorphosis, a caterpillar digests itself leaving only behind imaginal discs that shape it’s adult body.   everything becomes consumed.
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Jun 28, 2018
Jun 28, 2018 at 12:05 PM UTC
Everything becomes Consumed (Hairy Pupa)
the words we softly whispered in a language of our own as we silently ruled our kingdom from our pillow thrones i'm cradled in your arms and the room is dimly lit as my soldiers lay down their arms and i begin to let you in novels of dreams and childhood years tales of sleepless nights reports of all my irrational fears which i confessed by dim candlelight thoughts that my mind had never before heard tumbled from my mouth- i was choking on the brutality of all my honest words and the ideas which you were provoking like birds in a cage, my feelings trapped for too long and the dust on this page had been there all along the first time i was hurt i swore it was my last but i begin to revert with my red wine filled glass as we slowly drift off into our peaceful slumber both enveloped by the night i did, in fact, begin to wonder if i should confess love by dim candlelight
0
May 30, 2014
May 30, 2014 at 6:17 PM UTC
candlelight
I couldn’t be around you without feeling as if my world was crashing down. Twice I walked away but you kept holding onto me. Your love dominating, controlling, and reckless. For us both ‘WE’ became an addiction.   Our physical connection creating a real emotional entanglement.   The intimacy escalated not with your love and respect rather with your insatiable ****** desires and deceit. You came closer to me than anyone ever had. To say that we were totally engaged, consumed with each other would gravely understate what you did not only to my body, but also to my soul. It was a crazy love. When your presence met mine. I’d forgotten the meaning of peace of mind. Self-respect had flown away, integrity fallen by the wayside. I didn’t know who I was with you. I didn’t know who I was without you. Yet, I couldn’t leave… Even though deep in my unconscious I knew 'WE' were wrong. My addiction wouldn’t let me go, your addiction wouldn't let me go. And I stayed… Your behavior came so close to crushing my spirit, my will to live. In your compulsion to protect your deception you abandoned me, my life hanging on by a thread, I could not sleep or eat, I could not breathe. It was like being in a coma that I was fighting to survive. With intensive professional help I was forced out of the coma. I survived. Now I see I stayed, not because I loved you I stayed because I didn’t love me. Passion kept me bound. Truth be told, to be totally honest I stayed out of fear, fear of missing the passion. But now I know I’d rather be alone… than shackled by the anguish and drama you swore was love. As the synapses of my brain reconnect, the evidence of controlling emotional abuse, of possessive manipulation, overwhelms my mind and body. I see now I wasn’t built, wasn’t ready to understand your type of love. I can’t deal, can’t bear, don’t deserve, your emotional betrayal and abuse. I have kept your secret for you to tell. A secret I will never betray. Now no longer together locked in by your silence, perpetuating the manipulation, forever destined in your secret, your abuse continues.
0
Mar 13, 2013
Mar 13, 2013 at 2:23 PM UTC
Pain of Abuse - Bound in your Secret
I couldn’t be around you without feeling as if my world was crashing down. Twice I walked away but you kept holding onto me. Your love dominating, controlling, and reckless. For us both ‘WE’ became an addiction.   Our physical connection creating a real emotional entanglement.   The intimacy escalated not with your love and respect rather with your insatiable ****** desires and deceit. You came closer to me than anyone ever had. To say that we were totally engaged, consumed with each other would gravely understate what you did not only to my body, but also to my soul. It was a crazy love. When your presence met mine. I’d forgotten the meaning of peace of mind. Self-respect had flown away, integrity fallen by the wayside. I didn’t know who I was with you. I didn’t know who I was without you. Yet, I couldn’t leave… Even though deep in my unconscious I knew 'WE' were wrong. My addiction wouldn’t let me go, your addiction wouldn't let me go. And I stayed… Your behavior came so close to crushing my spirit, my will to live. In your compulsion to protect your deception you abandoned me, my life hanging on by a thread, I could not sleep or eat, I could not breathe. It was like being in a coma that I was fighting to survive. With intensive professional help I was forced out of the coma. I survived. Now I see I stayed, not because I loved you I stayed because I didn’t love me. Passion kept me bound. Truth be told, to be totally honest I stayed out of fear, fear of missing the passion. But now I know I’d rather be alone… than shackled by the anguish and drama you swore was love. As the synapses of my brain reconnect, the evidence of controlling emotional abuse, of possessive manipulation, overwhelms my mind and body. I see now I wasn’t built, wasn’t ready to understand your type of love. I can’t deal, can’t bear, don’t deserve, your emotional betrayal and abuse. I have kept your secret for you to tell. A secret I will never betray. Now no longer together locked in by your silence, perpetuating the manipulation, forever destined in your secret, your abuse continues.
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61
I. You told me that you saw the universe in my eyes whenever we stared at each other for longer than six seconds. The universe is infinite and I thought you were comparing it to our love. II. You fell in love with the way I laughed and acted around you because I reminded you of a rose bud that you planted on your garden. Little did you know, a rose has its thorns and I'm guessing you weren't prepared for that. III. The first time you looked at me with tears streaming down my cheeks, you blamed me for being so ugly looking. I was cursing myself when you walked out the door and didn't look back. IV. Months after you left and I was buried deep under the ground, he found me. ***** and covered in mud, he washed me from head to toe. I knew I'd fall for him. V. He and I had our first kiss on New Year's Eve and he gave me hope more than you ever did. I knew I deserved him. VI. I saw you walking down the street while I was holding his hand and the next thing I knew, you were screaming so loud I could barely understand what you said. Later, I found out that you were cursing me for being freed by him from where you buried me. VII. I found a letter by the front door the very next day and all that it said was how the writer could still see the mud on my face and on my back, just like the last time they saw me. I knew the writer was you. VIII. The night he found out about the letter, he hugged me ever so tightly and he swore he wouldn't let anybody harm me. Let the Power above dealt with the problem. IX. I'm happier than ever now that I know I have someone whom I can hold on to. I don't even see any mud on my face; it is you who's covered with dirt the most.
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Jun 14, 2014
Jun 14, 2014 at 8:41 AM UTC
Revenge
I. You told me that you saw the universe in my eyes whenever we stared at each other for longer than six seconds. The universe is infinite and I thought you were comparing it to our love. II. You fell in love with the way I laughed and acted around you because I reminded you of a rose bud that you planted on your garden. Little did you know, a rose has its thorns and I'm guessing you weren't prepared for that. III. The first time you looked at me with tears streaming down my cheeks, you blamed me for being so ugly looking. I was cursing myself when you walked out the door and didn't look back. IV. Months after you left and I was buried deep under the ground, he found me. ***** and covered in mud, he washed me from head to toe. I knew I'd fall for him. V. He and I had our first kiss on New Year's Eve and he gave me hope more than you ever did. I knew I deserved him. VI. I saw you walking down the street while I was holding his hand and the next thing I knew, you were screaming so loud I could barely understand what you said. Later, I found out that you were cursing me for being freed by him from where you buried me. VII. I found a letter by the front door the very next day and all that it said was how the writer could still see the mud on my face and on my back, just like the last time they saw me. I knew the writer was you. VIII. The night he found out about the letter, he hugged me ever so tightly and he swore he wouldn't let anybody harm me. Let the Power above dealt with the problem. IX. I'm happier than ever now that I know I have someone whom I can hold on to. I don't even see any mud on my face; it is you who's covered with dirt the most.
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I remember our first kiss It was an accident & you wouldn't stop apologizing because you had one past too many to drink You were broken like a shattered glass bowl filled with your favorite kind of cereal & way too much milk As it fell to the floor, your heart dropped just as fast, immediately realizing that this couldn't be undone You'd have to clean up all of the glass & soggy bits of sugary flakes from the floor all by yourself with no help You cursed to yourself through clenched teeth & a closed jaw, tears daring to escape your eyes like the milk pouring & dripping over the sides of the broken bowl You swore off cereal all together because the agony of possibly breaking another bowl had your head & heart in a whirl of confusion & annoyance Slowly as you began to pick the broken pieces of glass from the floor, piece after piece being thrown away, this task you found a chore becomes more of a necessity that you didn't realize until the big mess was already created Wiping up the chunks of sugar & tossing them in the trash, a small smile curls at the corners of your mouth Pain runs through your veins, but relief washes over your core as you realize the worst is over The kiss that I remember was not of regret, but beauty I'm on this sugar high & I'm not sure I can come down But you don't want cereal anymore so I'll eat this bowl alone
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May 1, 2015
May 1, 2015 at 11:21 AM UTC
Fifty . Sugar High Friendzone
It was deep April, and the morn Shakespeare was born; The world was on us, pressing sore; My love and I took hands and swore, Against the world, to be Poets and lovers evermore, To laugh and dream on Lethe's shore, To sing to Charon in his boat, Heartening the timid souls afloat; Of judgement never to take heed, But to those fast-locked souls to speed, Who never from Apollo fled, Who spent no hour among the dead; Continually With them to dwell, Indifferent to heaven and hell.
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11.6k
It was deep April
I battle my identity, As people try to label me, My mum tries to show me the right path, But is this really destiny? 9-5, Zero hours, Holiday and sick pay impossible to claim, Expected to work for 20 hours a day, Minimum wage, This society makes me insane, On the weekends I can I run away to raves, Take what ever I can to create waves, Not like the sea, like to much Dizzle, Party all night society says that's crazy, But whats crazy is the war on drugs, Some users just victims, Can't get enough. Instead of giving criminal records, Affirming our behaviour, Turning us riot, ruckus, snapping wires, How about a little support? After all how bad must life be, That children as young as 13 turn to drugs to escape? It's medical, Some say medicinal, But when your mums crying, Her heart dying, Because her baby boys been lying? No one wants police at the door, But it was gunna be the last night you swore. A new batch, strong stuff, you didn't believe And now your six foot under Rotting, deceased. But maybe this could change? If the right support was in place, For all those getting spaced, People will always seek a fix, So why not monitor, control and safe proof it.
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Jan 12, 2015
Jan 12, 2015 at 9:01 PM UTC
War on drugs
I swore that I knew you just like the back of my hand every blemish, every freckle, every scar, was you But now My blemishes begin to even out My freckles, rearranging themselves And any old scars are fading.
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Jun 15, 2014
Jun 15, 2014 at 12:53 AM UTC
like the back of my hand
Welcome back to your hometown Nothing much has changed since you we're last around Time never seemed to make its rounds To visit the streets of your hometown You've been away from this place for years Never skipped a beat nor shed a lick of tears So why do you find yourself back here Thought that when you left, you made it clear You swore you would never come back again A promise you made way back then You had your why's you knew your when's Your old hometown was no way to live As you step back onto Main street You ain't felt this sidewalk since the 70's You find yourself not surprised to see The reason then you had to leave On the front porch of your old house You reach for the door before you chicken out That's when it is you figure out Why in the first place you left your hometown You turn your back and turn away To confront your demons another day Where you're less scared or more brave In what it is you have to say So here it is another round Of one handed goodbyes to your hometown If you ever had your well deserved doubts You're no longer welcome in your hometown
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Sep 5, 2014
Sep 5, 2014 at 7:39 AM UTC
Your Hometown
**when i was younger never understood why some people would wear black all the time i swore to myself that i would never be one of those people i guess im a hypocrite i thought that black was such a basic color but it is anything but basic its the color i find the most comfort in it it my invisibility cloak it warms my soul my heart skips a beat when i see someone dressed in it from head to toe it is such a deep and beautiful color i guess i changed**
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Apr 21, 2014
Apr 21, 2014 at 11:59 PM UTC
black
She gave me gloves. Sapphire lets call her I loved how she would roll her eyes close whenever i swore louder or when i- being in the mood of being an arrogant snob Told me to be, mean and so vicious But Lady Sapphire is kind as the depth of the ocean and nice as the sugar and spice of a confused fangirl, Who i believe is precious as the rock i name her from
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Jan 11, 2014
Jan 11, 2014 at 10:59 AM UTC
Sapphire Gloves
The bullet flew so quickly from the pistol it felt like the blood in my veins stopped for a moment As if quantum physics were just a mere myth Of random laws and physicists Each individual cell and atom in my body stopped and rushed to abyss Thump, thump. As the bullet reached the end of your skull, I swore I died instead of you But instead of dying and leaving the realm of the living I enter bliss and happiness Flowers scattered over bright green grass for miles, Soft and whispering wind rushed past my freckled skin The trees swayed with the wind It brought an epitome of perfection, only your carcass brought death and decay Snapping back to reality, your eyes rolled back, and your jaw opened wide I wanted to tear it open, to give you a somewhat permanent evil smile Your body hit the ground so hard, the sound vibrated across my body, giving my heart the ability to beat normally again You looked so peaceful for a mere moment I swore I could have kissed you even though I despise your very being Your skin quickly went colorless, and you laid there so still I burst into panicked laughter, and covered my filthy mouth It was definitely rude to laugh at someone's death My stomach growls, and my hands shake with satisfaction I've finally done it. I killed my insecurities After a short moment of freedom and what seemed to be like genuine tears of joy... Your eyes roll back to normal, and they focus me closely Rising from the ground, you flick your hair back as if the wind blew it out of place You fix your shirt, as if the blood stains weren't there "It's so silly to think you could get rid of me so easily," you say. I'm never going to feel alive ever again
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Mar 22, 2014
Mar 22, 2014 at 7:53 AM UTC
Killing My Insecurities
The bullet flew so quickly from the pistol it felt like the blood in my veins stopped for a moment As if quantum physics were just a mere myth Of random laws and physicists Each individual cell and atom in my body stopped and rushed to abyss Thump, thump. As the bullet reached the end of your skull, I swore I died instead of you But instead of dying and leaving the realm of the living I enter bliss and happiness Flowers scattered over bright green grass for miles, Soft and whispering wind rushed past my freckled skin The trees swayed with the wind It brought an epitome of perfection, only your carcass brought death and decay Snapping back to reality, your eyes rolled back, and your jaw opened wide I wanted to tear it open, to give you a somewhat permanent evil smile Your body hit the ground so hard, the sound vibrated across my body, giving my heart the ability to beat normally again You looked so peaceful for a mere moment I swore I could have kissed you even though I despise your very being Your skin quickly went colorless, and you laid there so still I burst into panicked laughter, and covered my filthy mouth It was definitely rude to laugh at someone's death My stomach growls, and my hands shake with satisfaction I've finally done it. I killed my insecurities After a short moment of freedom and what seemed to be like genuine tears of joy... Your eyes roll back to normal, and they focus me closely Rising from the ground, you flick your hair back as if the wind blew it out of place You fix your shirt, as if the blood stains weren't there "It's so silly to think you could get rid of me so easily," you say. I'm never going to feel alive ever again
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Memory that I have forgotten Why do you seek to be remembered When you're allowed an eternal rest Because of the connection severed Yet, continuing to rebuild a bridge You aim to come back inside Even though my head is painful You refuse to say good-bye When I try to push you out You stand your ground  profound When I refuse to remember you You choose to stick around I begin to wonder why you can't stop And leave me where I lay Even now you cradle me with feelings No matter what I say Maybe after all this time that's passed I've been thinking completely wrong All these times I swore I was empty You were there for me all along Memory that I now remember I'm sorry for what I've done I promise to cherish you all my life My heart is what you've won
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Jan 18, 2016
Jan 18, 2016 at 5:22 AM UTC
Forgotten Memory
I promised you no pain I'd cause, Yet tears looked so attractive on your face. I swore your love was all I need. You trusted me with your heart, your mistake. Your dresses tattered like your soul, Being battered by surprise in my eyes. How sweet that you once loved me, child. But betrayal, my true name, Is sweeter.
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Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014 at 10:34 PM UTC
Betrayal
the devil wears puppy-print pajamas and waits outside his vacant house for you to come, the devil calls you only by the first syllable of your name and tells you your hair is the most attractive thing about you, the devil gives you water in a coffee cup the first time you sit on his bed and accidentally spills it on you when he tries to kiss you, the devil has eyes like the murky lagoons he told you he would visit with you, and a scar the shape of a crescent moon on his forehead. the devil leans up against the wall and asks, "why are you doing this to me? you're making me feel so guilty." the devil doesn't pay his phone bill and ignores you when you say you need to talk, the devil calls once, twice, a few times, once at 12:45 when you swore he wouldn't call, and never again, the devil moves houses and forgets to warn you that he lost his heart in the process, the devil doesn't care that they drained the lake near his house, the devil doesn't notice that they took his ******* heart with it when they did.
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Apr 4, 2014
Apr 4, 2014 at 2:49 AM UTC
the devil doesn't wear prada
"This heat and this blaze harm and burn me, please turn me away" She said crying out into the endless hell, her stay And she continued crying out, Loud even whilst she was about, to burn to dust Her boiling blood, gave the surroundings a smell likewise rust Until the Lord finally answered her call >"If you are granted this wish, will you ask for anything else at all?"< In her pain, in her agony she could only respond "No, I swear by your greatness, I will not go beyond (this wish) " Her wish was fulfilled, she was out of hell, But, this made her ask for more, would it suit her well ? " I beg you oh Lord, bring me forward, just to the gate of paradise, I have no other wish, I promise...please..it would be nice" So her Lord would say: >"Didn't you promise not to ask for anything more ? Woe to you, who swore (by my name)! Oh you who was created from the soil...how treacious you are" She kept begging and pondered so far " I swear by your greatness I will not ask anymore, Am I for you, but a useless ***** ? " And she will continue to promise and pledge, Until she was finally brought to the edge The gate to paradise When she looks inside, she would see its vigor charm and pleasure But remembering her promise she would remain silent, in front of this treasure Then, eventually, unable to bear this...she would scream " Oh Lord, let me enter paradise, it is my greatest dream " And again her Lord would add: >" Did you not make all these oaths and pledges not to ask for anything else ? Is it not enough that I brought you out of hell ? You are still sad ! Oh, woe you, how treacious you are " Tugged in her misery she couldn't help but feel down Though she didn't bother to shed more tears, just frown " Please don't make me the most miserable of your creation, Please forgive me and make heaven my home, my final station" And she would continue to ponder until her Lord would laugh As he did, she was able to enter heaven, its most divine half When she was in, it was said >" Make a wish, it will come true"< Happiness overcame her, growing faster than bamboo! She kept on wishing, until there was nothing left to ask for And thus, the former human, lived in bliss From now on and forever, never bored by this ~ Umi
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Dec 25, 2017
Dec 25, 2017 at 9:14 AM UTC
Falling Devil pt4: When the Lord smiles
"This heat and this blaze harm and burn me, please turn me away" She said crying out into the endless hell, her stay And she continued crying out, Loud even whilst she was about, to burn to dust Her boiling blood, gave the surroundings a smell likewise rust Until the Lord finally answered her call >"If you are granted this wish, will you ask for anything else at all?"< In her pain, in her agony she could only respond "No, I swear by your greatness, I will not go beyond (this wish) " Her wish was fulfilled, she was out of hell, But, this made her ask for more, would it suit her well ? " I beg you oh Lord, bring me forward, just to the gate of paradise, I have no other wish, I promise...please..it would be nice" So her Lord would say: >"Didn't you promise not to ask for anything more ? Woe to you, who swore (by my name)! Oh you who was created from the soil...how treacious you are" She kept begging and pondered so far " I swear by your greatness I will not ask anymore, Am I for you, but a useless ***** ? " And she will continue to promise and pledge, Until she was finally brought to the edge The gate to paradise When she looks inside, she would see its vigor charm and pleasure But remembering her promise she would remain silent, in front of this treasure Then, eventually, unable to bear this...she would scream " Oh Lord, let me enter paradise, it is my greatest dream " And again her Lord would add: >" Did you not make all these oaths and pledges not to ask for anything else ? Is it not enough that I brought you out of hell ? You are still sad ! Oh, woe you, how treacious you are " Tugged in her misery she couldn't help but feel down Though she didn't bother to shed more tears, just frown " Please don't make me the most miserable of your creation, Please forgive me and make heaven my home, my final station" And she would continue to ponder until her Lord would laugh As he did, she was able to enter heaven, its most divine half When she was in, it was said >" Make a wish, it will come true"< Happiness overcame her, growing faster than bamboo! She kept on wishing, until there was nothing left to ask for And thus, the former human, lived in bliss From now on and forever, never bored by this ~ Umi
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