Surpressed and hidden from my sight
God I need your voice and light
For distant memories and forgotten blight
I've been weak and shut them from sight
Easier for me to hide
And pretend, in no realm, do they abide
Kept secret so long it's hard to confide
I fear they'll excuse my faulter's side
Ignore my plight
I'll feel contrite
Convinced I've shown a twisted light
But NO! My words are not twisted
Though my eyes they have misted
My heart is a knot
The truth is rot
They may hide their face but I will not
I ache to stand and say, at least that I have fought

Scotty has a girlfriend,
But Scotty likes to wear dresses..
Is he gay?
Of course not! He loves girls!
But..
underneath his bed,
there's a box full of secrets..
secrets so big;
it's impossible to keep em'.
What would she do..
if she found out he's been with another guy?
She'd break his neck,
as she runs to the corner to cry!

sexually confused!
Scotty doesn't know,
he's sexually confused!

She walks into her high school class,
people can't help but stare.
They don't know what it is;
blue eyes?
dark hair?
Nope. It's what's going on,
the thoughts inside her head..
It's this other girl..
"She snuck into my bed!"

sexually confused..
her peers don't know it yet,
but we're all sexually confused!

Nick has a secret,
you see hes got this fetish.
All he does is
sit around and act it.
He sneaks into his sister's room,
and tries on her clothes..
He walks around the house,
in her skirts and underwear.

Sexually confusd,
he's sexually confused!
It started with being dared to wear a pair..
look what happened,
now he's sexually confused!

Claudia's depressed because
her feelings are always surpressed.
She burries her mind with drugs,
never admiting her passion,
she's made fun of for the way she's dressed.
There's this girl, you see,
she's got dark hair and blue eyes..
they can't be together,
because well..
us sexually confused like to hide.

Sexually confused..
You see once they know,
you know, that you're sexually confused-
you'll be taunted, made fun of,
a victim of verbal abuse.
sexually confused!
Am I sexually confused?

Yo check it
So many folks out there jealous of yo riches
Multiply the stitches
Eradicate em leave em in ditches
These hyprocrite
Still suckin' lady liberty ****
I aint backin down ****
Til burnt to rubbles i got troubles
Just cuz im a stolen man
My enemy aint even in another land
My enemies be of the USA
so i give a **** what a cop say
Justice aint never there for us
All they show is guns to bust
Faced off closed caskets open caskets
The nerve of these *******
We gettin paid off
Even though ya cant bring back the dead
Tears still going to shed
From all of the hurt and bloodshed
My nigguhs need to reunite
**** black n white
Thats just a game the media love to play
So they led us astray
Followin' the path of these devils
Rebuke these *******
So i had no choice but to be a rebel
See me uh this is tha life of an outlaw



In the 90s fools didnt hear me though
To caught up in the dope cash flow
Yo i got rocks to go and fiends to blow
Yea even though we lost in the eye of the father why bother
Cuz we on some *******
The matrix
Got us actin like dumb tricks
Cant make our own profit
If we rebuilt our ****
Lets make it bulletproof
So it'll be hard to knock it
Al sharpton jesse jackson
Cant see the actions
They house *******
Only get a pension for the
White surpremacys satisfaction
Yea we know jesse killed king
And the crows sing
****** ****** blast homie
Tell me what ya see now
If i showed u lynchin' of me
Would u still smile?
Or go buckwild
**** the fortune and fame
My momma had to struggle man
Tryna keep.out the prison system
But they provoke a *****
So i gotta show em im not ya average *****
Uh when i fight back they get mad
When we get surpressed and bow
They get glad
Uh even though never had my dad
Son of *****
Left me with missing puzzle pieces
Of life so i had to find a fit
And get this americas a culprit
Guilty of killin' us since slavery
Ask the indians about thanksgiving
And how they living?
And bet they smack the **** outta you
Make you get a clue
So the words i speaks is nothing but true
Vanish demons and replenishin'
Souls through barrel gunfire life expire
Dont ya know never step to my crew ?
Only a few
Can be down so indulge the silence
In yo jaw
Or else be prepared to face a millions
Vexed outlaws
This is the life of an outlaw outlaw

We commence the acencion into an oxygen void dimension of vivid colors and breathless serenity
your beach-breaze salty glaze compliments your starved gaze as you graze my thighs and sigh through Slytherin lips,
blindly searching for the switch buried in my skin, a surpressed sunset at your fingertips
You need me now, like an orphaned lover you miss me, your strong hands cannot understand the firm grip of my surreal sweet lips, the warm
carresses of my tongue, the twists, the complex concoction of intoxicating love-making physical poetry, Constructing
your perfect carnal high, I trace fairy trails down your chest into the fields of your belly, I paint roses onto your skin with my soft
puckered sips, I drink from you your pleasure and make it my own, you're not alone on this quest to fullfillment,  DO your fill and
you'll recieve in full.I'm at your command. Move me like your marrionette star, I'll repeat which ever wonders your whispers wish me to,
let us commerce in our spiritual sign language, catalyst mental eruption, hot and heavy streams of red-hot moans rivers into tropical atmosphere,
riveting the hem of my body as my soul slips through the strips of bone, the rib caging my bongo core as it crecendos into **** sore psalms, my palms
rooted to your crown as I combust into a comet, corrupted by the sublime nectar dripping off the rims of your mouth, connecting the dots to my being,
you found me
now come

When I blink
I tender the grey clouds
The soft movements,
Gentle the fierce wounds -
Grinding memories
With my bare hands,
Too dense and bleak.

When I walk by
The lights go low,
The leaves turn yellow,
They fly and sink
Swirl and speak
Silent sounds
Of primordial cycles -
Too dense, too bleak.

When I breathe...
Shivers of cold lives,
The echoes of distant deaths,
The murmurs of deepest depths,
Surpressed in lullabies -
A sonet of primordial cycles,
Too dense, too weak.

With a single gesture
I can make the Earth stay still.
Time is a ***** villain
And I like to hear It scream
Seconds, moments, lifetimes -
Under the pressure
Of my fingertips -
Primordial senses
Too dense, too bleak, too weak.

Aggravating ways; selfish means
So beguiling that childish fiend
A ****** war, no one sees
Evil villian from far beneath
Manufacturing wounds, ripping flesh
Just to prove who's the best
A soul swimming in a crimson pool
Controling the body; taking rule
A calming anidote, the music plays
Claiming no one's perfect, ha! so cliche
Searching for the lost soul under your bed,
There's no monsters, so our parents said
Some find monsters in their mirror
Watching there makeup slowly smear
Others find them in their surpressed memories
The slight releif released by their screams
Maybe it's been quite a while
Since you've seen  her beautiful smile
Maybe a few years have passed
Before someone wondered, before they asked
But under his sleeves lie his scars
They give proof of his pain, beautiful is what they are
Both she and him are self conscious about their weight
Both of them live in fear, live in hate
Maybe some haven't seen  a mosnter inside their closet
But felt demons demolishing what's left
It'll fumbles around inside their chest
Some people you just  wouldn't expect
Because maybe their wrists have already been checked
But did you ever think maybe her demons are smarter than you
Have you ever felt there presence, then you'd know they're cruel
And what if  he were to drag a blade across his wrists
Or maybe his thighs, he only does it to know he exists
As her barriers build higher, and cloud up her eyes
The wounds get deeper, the blood flowing onto her thighs
How do you expect  flames to bring him pain
When he's living in hell, a blazing shame
Throughout the day, they'll hide the pain away
It'll seem like everytings fine, like it's okay
Don't be swindled, don't be be a fool
One day you might meet this monster too

The moment you snap
Push out all your raw surpressed thought
Emotions that are packed with a powerful punch
The day works just slip out
Pushing back those who doubt
Catch them in a lie demand the truth
Ask them why but they dk
Thinking they are slick they make you sick
Cheating their way now they are messing up the day
Struck a nerve you expect sympathy
I have no empathy cause of how you behave
I'm not trying to save you all the pain you cause

I believe I'm a fool,
storing my past in my future.
Old wounds reopen,
each amd everytime I sutured.

Emotions are erratic,
my stand fickle.
One moment I'm ecstatic,
the very next I'm embittered.

Its like wishing for rain
while standing in the desert,
compassion in others as dry
as this scorching weather.

Trust is a deadly thing,
especially when misplaced.
An error in judgement can scar you for life.
An eternity of doubt, a never ending phase.

I can't say you didnt see it coming,
Refecting back, I think I knew.
But a child's  mind is fascinating.
How it tricks you into a fantasy, no one has a clue.

Circumstances change, life goes on.
And with time comes wisdom;
realisation dawns.
Little pieces of you are gone.

First you blame yourself,
I know now that that's normal.
At an age already confusing,
you deal with all this horror.

Then the horror gets a hold of you,
you slip into denial.
The farce you lead becomes your reality
with the truth distanced, you now smile.

Before you know it
its all surpressed deep down.
Unconsciously you're burying it.
Youre not ready to deal with this right now.

How long you keep up With the charade,
I truly believe isn't your choice at all.
But once it comes crashing down,
The barrier, now has nothing to but fall.

All the emotions come rushing back.
How are you expected to cope?
Years and years of suffering;
you desperately search for hope.

You stay quiet.
Maybe for peace? Maybe to forget?
But deep down you know,
only letting it out will help.

You shut out all those memories;
You shut out all that pain.
All your attempts to tell someone
keep going in vain.

But it happens. How and when is irrelvant. This is a turning point.

Once you've said it,
the dominoes start to fall.
There's no taking it back.
The total picture you can now recall.

It breaks your heart,
to see your loved ones cry.
Blaming themselves, just as you did once.
The regret evident in their eyes.

Time heals everything.
Why waste time looking behind.
Im stronger for it, if anything.
My life doesnt need a rewind.


Sure,

Now trust doesn't come easily.
In others I cant confide.
I make attempts feebly,
no one seems to realise.

Closure doesn't seem like a real option.
I might always be repelled by touch.
Emotional or physical,
love has never appealed to me as such.

There are no saviours passing by,
you should brave the storm alone.
I see no heroes in the sky,
be the fire, ignite your own bones.

your drunk words
got me buzzed
on old memories
and surpressed feelings
i was sober
until i heard your voice
now what am i supposed to do?

s.s

there's nothin I can do to silence you,
nothin I can say to get inside of you,
I'd say **** it and try to fly to you,
just so I could rip your life in two,

but you know I aint that stupid,
I don't know it all but im not clueless,
i'd give it all to you if I knew that I could mute it,

but you just keep picking away,
i'm actually surprised im livin today cuz last night I got this close to ****** it in the drain,

if I could i'd steal your life from you,
but all you like to do is try and light my fuse and when you do..

tick

tick

tick


here we go again,
spinnin around in circles in hate with the world what else is new?
you never shut the **** up no matter how many times I tell you to,
I wanna ****** bury you, it scares me too,
to know that I would do things I thought i'd never do,
but you egg me on,
you **** me off so ****** bad I'd grap your head and tear it off!
I don't care enough to carry on,
I swear to god i've never felt like this,
but all that I can do is tell you ****,
I need a ****** outlet quick before my heart pounds out my chest,
what was fine is now depressed and what's surpressed is now a mess and mixed with all the **** that lives within my ****** head,
here we go again!
-
scream at the moon,
bleed out for you,
"see now the truth,"
kiss my ***,
don't need no help from you..

if only you'd stay the way i'd like you to,
the time before I knew what I know now,
i'd love you the way I did before,
then i'd let you lay me down,
and put me to rest-

Like a rabid child foaming at the mouth,
Lips tightly surpressed within the news.
Reckless, careless to an innocents mind,
Pursade them to leap off with you.

Pushing past all ideas and logical sense,
Rush! Rush! banging through the drums.
Panic with no lie, settle into your home,
Any way to wake the endless nights?

Sadly are the nights spoken kindly,
Contrived without the slightest care.
Wishing truly for our life's simplicity,
Patience of a steady water flows.

Under the oak, sat in the sun aligned,
Cooling off from the setting breeze.
Legs weary from the climb upon hills,
Wondrous days lay in far distances.

Like a rabid child foaming at the mouth,
Lips loosely locked within the news.
Reckless, careless to an innocents mind,
Deceive them to leap off with you.

I am so tired of being here
Surpressed by all my childish fears
Living without you
How can I ever love again?  The way I loved you
You blasted your way into my world
then you left, no word no note, no sad goodbye
So when you threw yourself off that bridge
you also killed a part of me.
I'm tired of being here, alone,  without you

The things  that follow me pushes away my friends  so I will always be alone in the end. Those eyes .... I tip my head to the sky my knees to the ground I pray to you but nothing ...not a sound. Only the sound of the laughs and scraps on the walls, the popping floors, the slamming doors, I pretend I'm just crazy that I just need meds it's to the point I can't have a elevated bed, it shakes , I think it's me dreaming I wake up screaming but through the years the memories i have surpressed come back to me it's been following me since I was old enough to speak I would tell them my friends in the walls don't like me , those **** dolls would walk around the house while I'm frozen cold as ice house I wish I had one friend that wouldn't be afraid to help me battle this demonic desiese but no I'm alone for him to do as he pleases the smile he gives those blue eyes makes me feel like a child ...if you think this just a story come hang out for a while ..

I’m more about a light sweat
On some perfect curves
Then a non-tangible emotional connection I can’t feel
Using my tongue to clean her body from head to toe
But instead I’m cleaning the mess inside her mind
Trying to take her somewhere so far from her anxiety
But no matter the proximity I can’t help fix her
Try to **** away the pain so its back to back rounds till my body quits
Afraid to stop ******* You because your gonna go right back
To unhealthy habits, to 24/7 stress and to holdin it all in
Surpressed my urges, cut off my hoes and shaped up
Yet I still feel like I’ll never win and I’ll never save you

GET RIGHT
All my life
I had to go
through so much
just to get right....

ALL my life...
Yes....
Here we are
I lucked up.
Kick me down.
I'll get back up.
In karma I trust.

The universe will protect us.
No matter the fight.
We'll be alright!!

I miss those days
where I could lay up.
Dreams don't play out
Gosh **** Descovia wake up!
Black on black going in again
it's a crime, get your keys off the table
before the SHAKE UP.

Kickin the doors in
running through the halls with adrenaline
I blasted off like I was another minute man.
****, boy I'm so glad I didn't take the Benadryl
I promise, to call Lin but if I hit the Gin again
I wouldn't have freedom to break
bills with Benjamin.

So you think you can live OUR LIFE???
I been at this 30 years
just tryin' to get right
Lights all in your face.
You ready for the highlights?
You really buzzin to live the high life.
Gossip and *******. Fuel me up. I am ready.
I'm on the gaslight

Oh whoa.
Momma forgive me.
I never wanted it hard or easy.
My word is all I got. Please, believe me.
I don't want the same mistakes, on repeat.
Do the right thing. My boy... I'll stand by this truthfully.
Life will be on your case like Judge Judy.
I ride the wave, my life feels like a movie
Say what you want
Your words do nothing to me.
Regardless of what I go through
We gonna be (ALRIGHT)
All this darkness, trying to absorb my light
But it's okay we will be (ALRIGHT)
To the *******, nevermind, I know what's mine
we will be just fine (ALRIGHT)


I kept my power surpressed.
Abilities will overthrow the best.
Mindset is complex, you're too far-fetched
I roll like vex, you roll just to flex.
I can go Broly, with no need to flex.
If I go for your head, it's off wit your neck (OOOh!)
Save the children, keep it all check.
Don't let the empire fall. Clean up the mess.
I put on for my city like my man Tex.
9 to the 5 to the 6, we play no games.
Got no time. To an enemy catch wreck. Sayless.
Burning attack. Run it back! Snap my finger
and release the flames to eat the rest!
If you want a blessing
You better pray for Grace
I keep this **** running
you better keep with the pace
I never move faulty with haste
Trying to keep up with me
This went from a race to  a chase.
I am just trying to suffice and find my place
Only sparing all I can from my own plate
The many problems I gotta face
I am stressing on how to keep people safe.

**** a ******* and you too if you consent to

I accidently breathed life into the beast that has always seemed to reside deep down inside.
Where my patience is already short supplied.
My sorrow can't ever truly be denied.
Eyes filled with tears that I haven't yet cried.
Where am I going to next I cannot decide.
I may just go ahead and ride the pride,
breaking through to the  other fuclimg side so my cousin I can see.
Him and the rest of my deceased family.
I stand among the debris.
myself I am trying to run from me.
Tomorrow coming holds no gaurettee.
The  only thing that I could ever hope to be is just pain old me.
LOnging to be ******* free
This sinister darkness is ******* foreboding.
feel like I should be exploding.
I am already over loading,
******* hardcoding til I went off roading.
was smoking just floating.
To me this is ******* coping
that is until I start choking.
I am just hoping
the demons I am not provoking.
Surely I am not invoking.
I don't say that lightly for I am not joking.
Promoting their possession of my damaged soul
I travel on to the places even my angels fear to go
I have a feeling that I belong way down way down below.
I'll admit that loud is my rock and  roll I constantly rock this bowl.
so apparently I am no where near being in control.
Im so broken I cannot be whole.
I have been impossible to console.
Then while praying out loud I heard it echo.
Why is I am here in this hellhole.
Armed only with a couple  bullets and  Daddy's pistole.
So don't you be an *******.
Into **** near everything I pour heart and soul.
I jump down another rabbit hole trying to catch that troll.
The horizon is already all aglow.
Did you not ******* know that end up that much more corrupt, I am cold.
This is a demented and perverse Fairytale that has already been told.
Matter of fact it getting rather old.
No questions were asked and there were no lies sold.
Like laundry I know right when to fold.
My ride or die has already died as he rode.
Cracks in my moral code. Life on this dirt road.
You don't have to tell me I know that I am throwed.
I always I end up sitting alone in **** dark,
trying to create a ******* Spark.
So I can watch myself as I stab myself with Jagged pieces of your broken heart. I am waiting on this journey that on which I'll soon embark.
I think It was somone in the hierarch
that to no one else could make an off/ handed remark.
There wasn't one person he didn't appear to outsmart.
It was pretty much his trademark.
My granny is our matriarch.
A Monarc from the trailer park.
Laughing like a loon I have gone mad as in raving stark.
I will not miss my mark,
From generation to generation this knowledge the elders did impart.
Keeping us prayed up on our way back up right from the start.
Feelings serverd now alicart.
I thought I was in prime position to fall apart
Losing myself in the nefarious dark.
My path needs illiumanating someone please light up my dark steps
help me not to be stressed.
I don't need to be obcessed.
MY true self I have surpressed.
I *******  confess
I am nothing but a hot mess
These crazy thoughts infest  
as the truth's hard to digest.
Burning down in the protest
The matriech I was meant to protect.
Now it's save your own *** that 100% in effect.
Spirits from the past I attempt to ressurect
So with the ones I sincerely missed I can soon connect
I wish I could do it imn a manner that was more direct
I don't know it was I did ******* expect
I only brought them back with  much love and respect
Even though my secrets are being safely kept
Still in a few days I haven't yet slept
I am more than a little wrecked
Emotionally broken in every aspect
on my traumatic past I reflect
I am in fact the suspect
on a rather touchy ******* subject
I am feeling pretty **** inept
I think maybe I need God to intercept
Outside my mind I have stepped
This is something I can accept
Over this unbearable pain I have wept
These memories from the past I try to eject
off into space I blast like a space cadet
perfect I **** up, I am a **** up perfect
I am sure I am one that won't be easy to forget
At making things worse I am indeed quite deft
The weight of the world on my shoulders I try to heft
What to expect from someone who's went this far left
The pain in my brain has been etched
The situations far to complex
The sorrow a ******* side effect
Wading in the pool of past regret
looking back in retrospect
smoking the day's last cigarette
while my thoughts I try to recollect

Laughter is hilarious
Deliriously fun
To bust a gut with laughter
Is to know this day is won!
Merriment is everything
When rolling on the floor
With a belly ache from laughing loud
And looking round for more.

A funny anecdote for breakfast
A chuckle hovers on your lips,
You smile into each others eyes
And explode in laughing fits.
The goodness felt in laughter
When you whoop and slap your knee
Is the soreness in your tummy
After laughter’s roaring glee!

Frantic chuckles, clenched white knuckles,
It’s getting out of hand
I cross my legs in agony,
I need to ***, you understand?
Hilariously funny
When you laugh yourself to ***
But embarrassing to run for home
Without letting someone see.

It feels good to be exhausted
To be breathless in the chest
In the aftermath of hilarity,
The infectious grin surpressed.
The boost to your endorphins
Releases all the stress
And the lovely smile remaining
Has made this happy day… THE BEST!

Marshalg
@theGate
Mangere Bridge
2nd.March 2009

For always not even once have the masses cried not over insufficient service delivery. The Dog is known to be to the owner till it strays, when the owners of this country tear the heavy deployments done are yet a portion of their contribution through tax.
Man has a voice woman has a tear and so mankind has become voiceless thus defensively becoming savage.
When the day comes it shall be like any other, when the moon will will shine smiles as the rain washes away our pain and the sun drying our tears.
The combined energy shall be the voice of the surpressed being  seeking to walk a normal life of Grace. Yes we shall not forget the leaderships that made us stumble we shall embrace the same flag under new and yet friendly arms nursing our damaged country-men. Glory will once be ours, maybe long but shall be worth.

#herdsmanofprogress
Thomas Bron M

https://thomasbron.wordpress.com/2020/08/19/upfront/