"sugarcoating" poems
Droplets tap the dusty windows
Tipping pleasure on the pane
Dribbles every time the wind blows
Prophesize a hurricane
Kisses linger on the backseat
Desperate to delight in more
Suffocated by the heat, but
When it rains, it starts to pour
Panic storm that quickly closes
Smashing waves upon the sand
Tension tearing up the roses
Stuttered poems, shaking hands
Though the pressure keeps you floating
And the ocean licks its shore
There's no way of sugarcoating
Once it rains, it has to pour
Stick a finger in your ceiling
Let the plants hang onto youth
Sunday jazz, petrichor feeling
Hear it tripping on the roof
Smell it shifting all around you
Leaking through your drying veins
Leave your stagnant dragonfly blue
Open up into the rain
When it rains, it pours
I'll blossom being yours
Downpour cleans the ***** traffic
Rippling madly down the drain
Paints the artist something graphic
While he's waiting for the train
Laughter echoes in the morning
Licking soil and clouds to raw
From the vision that's been dawning
Once you rain, it has to pour
Spitting bombshells pelt your raincoat
Tears in quiet pools of green
Holes inside your getaway boat
Water's sweet but can be mean
You've avoided all the warfare
But the stars rampage for more
Douse the thin comfort you still wear
Once it rains, it starts to pour
Stick a finger in your ceiling
Give the plants a thirsty truth
Fairy lights and freedom feeling
Tunes of our torrential youth
Smell it changing all around you
Bursting through the shrivelled veins
Leave your crippled summertime hue
Open up into the rain
When it rains, it pours,
I'll bloom so much being yours
We're a perfect storm, I guess
Fire has been stopped with less
When it rains it has to pour.
Oct 29, 2018
Oct 29, 2018 at 2:46 PM UTC
I’ve exhausted to excess
the language
of the social construction
of whiteness
which is simulataneously
sugarcoating
the goodness of blackness
with the evil of pure white
the missionary of evil
*** death triangle reruns
on West Indies news
origin of criminality
putrid impunity
dissociative disorder
and the villain
to a great great hero
called the blackness
of humanity
which is inexhaustible
strength
laughter
and kindness
oceans
mercy
severity
beauty
love
***
origins
stability
shores
and sustainability
Feb 22, 2017
Feb 22, 2017 at 12:25 PM UTC
I never fully understood the meaning of the word “mourn” until this year -
To truly feel the loss of another concentrated in its purest form.
I never believed when others would say
“I miss you more, in each and every day” or
“There’s not an hour goes by, without a thought of you on my mind”
As if Loss is an unforgotten constant in the trails of the trivial,
We are only human after all.
But I was naive, through and through.
Loss never leaves your side once you meet
Loss is a friend for life.
The kind that shows their face in the most unpredictable moments,
Who never fades away or falls out,
Becoming more aquatinted as we go through life.
Loss is selfish, wanting our undivided attention,
Expecting us to indulge in its deep dark thoughts with strong pretension.
Loss is harsh, not hiding nor sugarcoating any enemy attack,
Facing us with the reality of control and just how much we lack.
Loss is bitter, Loss is unkind
Loss is a thief, stealing our piece of mind.
Loss is jealous, Loss is sly.
Is it absent of Love,
Or has Love left it’s side?
Jan 3, 2019
Jan 3, 2019 at 6:59 PM UTC
I am maintaining an FB account
Posting intellectual stuff only,
Things that stir the mind of my social-networking friends
By this, they will perceive me as a deep person
I am an usher in a Christian church
Giving my biggest effort to serve,
Accommodating and presentable as possible
For people to think that I am mature
I have my own network of friends
Where I can express hope, faith, and love
(In times of despair and grief, at least make it
sound that you are overcoming it)
To portray that I am reliable, independent, and a man of faith
But here in our secret place
Everything is authentic, real, and sincere
Sugarcoating exists no more
Vulnerability and honesty surely steal the show
The moment I lock the door and open the bible
And we start a conversation
I know for sure that I cannot fake it
What do you expect from Someone who can see your inner being?
This time, without a doubt, I am free
To tell everything without the fear of being judged
To argue without the feeling of being condemned
To cry and accept that I am desperate and needy
No wonder I love our time, in this secret place
A time for unbelief and faith
A time for loathing and worship
A time to be Nixen
Jul 4, 2017
Jul 4, 2017 at 12:18 AM UTC
Speak to me about regrets
as you reassure me I'm making the right choice
Talk to me about the fragility of human beings
as you remind me how strong I am
Tell me about the human memory
as you promise you'll never forget this moment
Mutter that I'm perfect as I am
as you gently hint I should ditch my bad habits
Whisper 'forever' in my ears
as you explain that life changes despite all odds
I'm asking you to be honest
Speak the two voices in your head
Instead of sugarcoating my rocks
Please, put pebbles in my sugar
Mar 29, 2016
Mar 29, 2016 at 5:28 PM UTC
As the sun sinks down.
below the horizon so beautiful.
My heart sinks again,
all you do is take and never fill.
The day has come to an end,
it was wonderful until.
You heard more romours,
and my happiness was killed.
You broke up with me,
said you like another.
What gives you the right,
to rain on my sunny weather?
If you still had feelings,
then you should have stayed.
Made an effort with me,
and never walked away.
You should have been truthful,
instead of sugarcoating with lies.
I would eventually find out,
what is hidden behind you decieving eyes.
You eyes tell a story,
or hurt and heartbreak.
But baby don't you see?
You're making my heart ache.
I love you still,
and I want you back here.
But all you want is friendship,
so I cover my feelings shedding tears.
I never did a thing,
yett you still say I lie.
Tell me to **** off,
good night and good bye.
But it isn't fair of you,
to say all that you did.
Act like you really cared,
then walk away again.
Everything with you,
well, it's all mixed up now.
And I can't help but hope,
for it to resolve somehow.
I want to see your face,
and talk to you for real.
Get it all out in the open,
because this is all surreal.
You tell me one thing,
then go back on it again.
I just want to understand you,
you ever-changing man.
Jul 24, 2010
Jul 24, 2010 at 8:24 AM UTC
So,
I may have gotten a bit drunk last night,
(See previous entry).
It seems I haven't handled my madness,
It seems I'm still suspended.
Between adulthood and childhood is a very unpleasant place to be,
If only I handled life like I handle liquor.
Each drop is a knife in the cerebellum,
Hoping it might bury the feelings,
How lucky the asexual are.
How lucky,
And how belabored I am to bear a mind like this!
Lost,
I've always been at home where I'm lost.
Now,
I'm wrapped in it.
Surrounded by it.
Penetrated by it in the most euphemistic kind of way.
Thoroughly,
It encapsulates me,
The ether of burden,
A treasure I wish I could share,
Ashamed that I wish I care.
Voices will tell me,
Shouting!
"You'll do great things, a smart boy like you."
"You've been so blessed by God."
I'm in a void of pride in a sea of aimless ambition,
To do the great,
To conquer the world,
To see the fuel of my turmoil turn to ash.
Angst would be sugarcoating it,
Anger will never describe how it feels,
To be simultaneously empty and full.
I'm at grief like a fly at a summer picnic.
I fly off the potato salad,
Off the handle,
It's thrilling to be at the mercy of giants,
Swatting hands.
Nothing seems to heal.
Nothing seems to calm,
Nothing can make up for losing God like losing a family member you never talked to.
And you wish you did,
Because life would be so much easier.
Jan 11, 2015
Jan 11, 2015 at 11:31 AM UTC
Today
The tears have managed to slip out
Bringing about the red eyes,
choked out cries
of what life is really like
Inside these four walls
At every corner
i cave
Knowing if i stand up
i will get slammed down
down to where i curl up
dead, still wishing for a better life
inside these four walls
I live in fear for tomorrow
Afraid i might finally have the courage
to press down deep enough
to expose the anger that runs through my veins
everyday
inside these four walls
Mother and father is what they call themselves
nuturing us with love and care
protecting us from the evil that is out there
but is there a difference from the evil out there
and the evil that is stained
on these four walls
Forced to play by their rules
We follow them blindly
even with the ocassional abuse
"you're not white" excuse
marks of bruises
that show our traditional ways of life
inside these four walls.
Crying is not allowed
no sugarcoating when we're down
we live only for your purpose
of control and possession
choices made under your disgretion
indide these four walls
it's all i've ever known
there's no place like home.
Jul 13, 2015
Jul 13, 2015 at 6:02 AM UTC
Your sugarcoating melted
when I doused you with
a steady stream of tears,
the ones you created
by stealing my heart,
then stomping all over it
with your petty fears,
the ones you created
in your jealous mind
& by doing so, you ruined
our love-connection
with your bitter
acts of juvenile-control.
And all I ever wanted
was you, not your
mean childish side.
Mar 26, 2014
Mar 26, 2014 at 5:06 AM UTC
I've been licking sandpaper,
-Again scraping away
The disease.
I let you carry,
There were only icicle covered
Cannibals; bearing hearts of lead.
My anchor to it is gone--
I think-
I think.
-I killed it for fear,
And now I'm sugarcoating-
Poisons, giving cysts.
To lesser parts of me.
Help me--
I would ask the husk of my heart.
Jun 1, 2016
Jun 1, 2016 at 6:49 PM UTC
Yes, the lights are off, but you are not on your floor crying.
It's 3am and you're laying silently in your bed and you can't stop turning. You haven't gotten a good night's sleep in weeks.
It isn't "You can do this, just hold on!".
It's the constant gnawing at your neck and the feeling of disgusting hands reaching around your throat and choking you, yet your arms are so tired that you can't even muster up the motivation to want to reach up and yank the hands away.
It feels like you want to do everything you possibly can, yet you're too tired to do anything. So much so that you would rather lay in bed and come up with excuses about how even the simplest tasks are the biggest problems that you can't come up with solutions to. You would rather stay here and wallow in your sadness than open your window for fresh air and fix yourself something to eat.
It's being surrounded by your closest friends and still feeling sad.
It's staying up to watch the sunrise without even wanting to.
It's feeling nauseous without riding a roller coaster.
It's sitting in your shower long after you've washed yourself clean. You're only sitting in your shower because your tears feel less noticeable with the faucet running on your face; the only reason you're sitting instead of standing is because you're too exhausted to stand anymore.
You can't stand it anymore.
It's realizing what's best for you, and when you try your hardest to do what's best for you, it feels like the world is collapsing onto you.
It's a walk in the park on a freezing Tuesday evening in December when the snow is beyond cold but it's the only thing left that makes you feel anything so you feel compelled to sit in it.
It's a lot of things.
Most importantly though, it's nothing.
At least that's what you keep telling people.
Please stop sugarcoating it.
May 21, 2016
May 21, 2016 at 6:02 AM UTC
i never learn how to say the truth to my friends, unless they're good things
i'm not big on sugarcoating, but neither on being brutally and truthfully honest
most especially to you
i can never describe the fear and the anxiety of disappointing you
of just spitting the words i really wanted to say but always always too afraid or stricken to speak because you might just not get it and i might just end up hurting you instead of simply laying down my opinions
opinions
i have tons of them inside my head and they just stay there, waiting to be used on the day i'll finally find the courage to say that you're too much and the pain is sometimes unbearable and can you please stop or just pause because
because my heart is too heavy from all your accusations
my lungs too tight from this choked up feeling, for always letting you win without batting an eyelash and just opening your lips to let your own harsh words out
my soul, dear friend, is bruised too much
i can hardly recognized it because of the many stitches i sew on it every night so that it'll look like it's ready yet again for another war with you
you see
my mind is not that strong to block all your scary glares and your always present annoyed voice everytime i attempt to say what i want you to hear
i can't seem to dodge your blows as i try to turn my back on you because that will only give you more reason to think that here i am again, leaving you after all the time you picked me up and stayed with me
how can you not see that i am so. **** tired.
of putting up with your *****
of your careless throwing of disguised-as-honest-but-really-are-just-hurtful words?
how?
this is the reason i left you before
and only by a circumstance i first thought was a blessing but is really just another opportunity for you to break me way worse than before
did we meet
and if there's something i learned from that
it's that i won't let you do that to me ever again
i'm one of them
as Cassie would say
the bent, but the unbroken
Mar 2, 2018
Mar 2, 2018 at 1:43 AM UTC
I am melting gold on my papers.
I’m wandering trough words of honey
to spread them on your soul,
just to make it a little more sweet.
There is an explosion of light
running trough a field of breadcrumbs
from my crumpled,
but rich like blood red jam
imagination.
I write my sins with candy canes
sugarcoating them
‘cause I am only afraid
you won’t remember my good
but you will never forget my bad.
There is only hope,
hanging from a rope
and, of course,
love,
who’s silently dripping from my heart,
oh, my heart,
my only enemy
destroying me,
turning my whole lighthearted existence
into a heavy tar abyss.
not only does it hurt,
but it also tastes bitter.
like coffee during golden hours,
hot and black,
but, oh so good
and so relieving,
it becomes my essence,
my blood.
So I return to honey and candy canes
and hide behind my fingers
and behind my lying eyes.
But I reveal myself at night,
being at my true self,
a sinner,
a liar,
a poet.
-May Colde
Aug 6, 2019
Aug 6, 2019 at 10:53 AM UTC
poets live by
sugarcoating unexpressed feelings
that can be disaster
if not left
unsaid.
Oct 9, 2017
Oct 9, 2017 at 10:28 AM UTC
I spit words of disgust
To conceal my heart covered with rust.
I may be known as a bad mouthed *******
but dear I am just being truthful.
Euphemisms? I’ve had enough of that.
I see no need of sugarcoating words
For it just washes brains, somewhat.
Insincerity built through words that are too easy to afford.
“I say words contrary to what I feel,”
Strength from pretentious lips.
It’s not what I feel for real,
but it prevents the red liquid and its drips.
So if you see me in the streets, smiling and
screaming at the top of my lungs that,
"I feel so alive!"
Honey, please consider the opposite.
Nov 1, 2018
Nov 1, 2018 at 10:32 AM UTC
"it's not right,
you're sick and depraved,
you don't know anything,
it's disgusting,"
is what they all shouted at me
i bit my tongue,
swallowed my blood,
hid my colors
but stood my ground
black and blue bruises
made me feel *****
but i perservered,
despite the angel's cry
and suddenly all the beatings
turned into shoves
the slurs yelled at me
became "be proud!"
despite the sugarcoating
and the sudden change of heart
i saw through the false, white smiles
popularity creates lies
Jun 3, 2020
Jun 3, 2020 at 5:46 PM UTC
i never learn how to say the truth to my friends, unless they're good things
i'm not big on sugarcoating, but neither on being brutally and truthfully honest
most especially to you
i can never describe the fear and the anxiety of disappointing you
of just spitting the words i really wanted to say but always always too afraid or stricken to speak because you might just not get it and i might just end up hurting you instead of simply laying down my opinions
opinions
i have tons of them inside my head and they just stay there, waiting to be used on the day i'll finally find the courage to say that you're too much and the pain is sometimes unbearable and can you please stop or just pause because
because my heart is too heavy from all your accusations
my lungs too tight from this choked up feeling, for always letting you win without batting an eyelash and just opening your lips to let your own harsh words out
my soul, dear friend, is bruised too much
i can hardly recognized it because of the many stitches i sew on it every night so that it'll look like it's ready yet again for another war with you
you see
my mind is not that strong to block all your scary glares and your always present annoyed voice everytime i attempt to say what i want you to hear
i can't seem to dodge your blows as i try to turn my back on you because that will only give you more reason to think that here i am again, leaving you after all the time you picked me up and stayed with me
how can you not see that i am so. **** tired.
of putting up with your *****
of your careless throwing of disguised-as-honest-but-really-are-just-hurtful words?
how?
this is the reason i left you before
and only by a circumstance i first thought was a blessing but is really just another opportunity for you to break me way worse than before
did we meet
and if there's something i learned from that
it's that i won't let you do that to me ever again
i'm one of them
as Cassie would say
the bent, but the unbroken
Mar 2, 2018
Mar 2, 2018 at 1:40 AM UTC
i just want you to know me
and i want to know you,
but ego
and curiosity
can’t live together comfortably
Because most things I’m ‘fraid to ask
And most thing I’m ‘fraid to know.
Falling to ash in someone’s arms isn’t as hard as sugarcoating
the things we all go through
And we all feel like this
And we all “don’t”
So we decorate our walls
And make sure there no windows.
My eyes are black, so I’ve never
had to worry much about that.
Nothing to tell- nothing to show
Cold, hard touch
not sure where or how to crack the ice..
i hear ”warmth will melt”
But all human hearts
have different boiling points
And my skin
is too sensitive to test those waters.
Jul 14, 2019
Jul 14, 2019 at 6:52 PM UTC