"stoner" poems
PARODY OF "OCTOPUS'S GARDEN" BY RINGO STARR.
I'd like to be in the country
In a marijuana garden in the shade
They'd let us skid, and smoke a lid
In a marijuana garden in the shade
I'd ask my friends to come and smoke
A bowl of good until they all choke
I'd like to be in the country
In a marijuana garden in the shade
We would find digs, and ditch the pigs
In our little hideaway inside a van
Resting our head on a truck bed
In a marijuana garden on a ranch.
We would laugh at stupid ****
We'd forget why and take a hit.
I'd like to be in the country
In a marijuana garden in the shade
We would smoke and talk about
The police that put us all away
(put your stoner *** away)
Oh I'm high! I'm high as the blue sky
Forgot to go to work today.
(Unemployed today)
We would be so toasted you and me
No one there to call the boys in blue
I'd like to be in the country
In a marijuana garden with you
In a marijuana garden with you
In a marijuana garden with you
May 22, 2014
May 22, 2014 at 2:09 AM UTC
Good king Selassie looked out
on the feast of Marley
When the kush lay round about
dank and green and sticky
Loudly bumped reggae that night
As the king did turn
When a stoner came in sight
Gathering kush to burn
"Come here boy and stand by me
if you know this then say;
where would that young stoner be
at the end of this day?"
"My King he lives quite far away
rather close to Babylon
where exactly I can not say
he surely lives in Zion."
"Bring me kush and fine hashish
bring me bongs and paper
You and I, his base shall reach
bringing dank kush vapour!"
Island boy and Selassie
went across great Zion
eyes all red and mouths all dry
They rode upon the lion
"King, my eyes are growing white
and we smoked our last spliff
I fear that I may die tonight
play me one last reggae riff..."
"Island boy you don't recall
who it is you roll wit
unto me JAH trusted all
of the kush on this planet!"
So Selassie I was blessed
they were high once more
the stoner was offered the rest
of what they had in store
Therefore rasta men be sure
if you have that dank kush
share it with your brothers poor
and find yourself with more bush
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 11:12 AM UTC
With my bobby pin, taken from my hair after volleyball practice,
I scrape black resin from a blue bowl
It's a rougher
Dirtier
Hash ball
But it loves on your brain just as much
And my arms are bruised from passing
They could use that numbing forgetfulness
That lurks like stupidity
In the back of my brain
Always
The *** just emphasizes it
The way gaudy clothes do on a pretty girl
That's me too sometimes
But I have a mother,
Just as you,
And she gave me dreamss
To live up to
A school of science and engineering
So...what do you do?
Jul 19, 2013
Jul 19, 2013 at 1:14 AM UTC
You said talking to me
Was better than being high
Almost as great as ****
Now I'm always high
To keep the thought of you
Off my mind
Darling it hurts to be sober
But I don't miss you
When I live life as a stoner
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 7:25 PM UTC
What day is it where we at, where is
the **** were you trying to smoke
my cat??
I see things through glassed eyes,
my mouth has the hunger, but I'm
to ****** to drive, Whats in the fridge
in the cupboard, f*ck it i can make a
munchie feast out of that.
I smoke with friends or when alone, i,ll
smoke in the dark room the spliff my
only light I see "wow look at those trails...
I have speed dial on my phone 1 is my
frindly dealer who delivers to my home,
2,3,4 take away pardise they no what I
want when ever I phone.
I,m a stoner there is no mistake, I will
always be happy unless my **** does
get braked, and if my phone battery dies
no mucnchies, no smoke, I couldn't deal
with that, "wow look at the pretty lights,
Feb 27, 2014
Feb 27, 2014 at 11:24 AM UTC
"Stoner's Poem"
I see your snapstories,
I see your ask profile.
I see how you comment and reply and flaunt your English skills.
Trust me, I love your rebuttals,
More than Biryani and the Lebanese pornstar.
I see your Facebook posts,
I see your WordPress,
And I see, how you craft your poems flamboyantly,
And then, and then,
Pilfer my breath,
And rob my me.
Sometimes, just sometimes,
Your deportment bewilders me,
More than Lowry-Bronsted's theory.
I see how you dance in the rain,
Like "All, sin, tan, cos", do in my brain.
I see how you frequent every segment of my cardiac muscle,
And then desert it, like it's one of the many dilapidated constructions.
My reminiscences about your thingness,
Escalate me to a higher spiritual level,
More than **** does.
Oh, that smile,
Oh, that look,
Oh, the mystique in you.
And again, I am writing of Love.
And the pen doesn't seem to stop soon,
For I have taken a greater risk,
Than asking my friend about cathodes and anodes and electrolysis, while I took my last chemistry exam,
When the invigilator was around.
May 14, 2016
May 14, 2016 at 3:55 AM UTC
I am stoner,
watch me soar!
I am a handle,
that opens your door.
I am the sunshine,
which keeps you so warm.
I am the wind,
that fuels this storm.
I am a smile,
to a stranger on the street.
I am a cupcake,
too pretty to eat.
I am a lake
for you to escape from heat.
I am a steak,
though I don't condone eating meat.
I am a girl,
the madonna and the *****
I am stoner,
and so much more.
Oct 4, 2010
Oct 4, 2010 at 9:44 PM UTC
she has dangerous thoughts
in her hello kitty slippers
she shines when thouse around her can only sparkle
there are dark angels in her stuffed bear collection
shes a gothic stoner emo-warrior princess
she wants to be heard
and its dreamy things shes gonna say
shes sketched in beautiful ways in my heart
Jul 17, 2014
Jul 17, 2014 at 4:10 PM UTC
No poem in the world could ever describe the abundance of love you have showed me. Nor every lyric to a love song could ever compare to how you take care of me, how you caress me into your arms for a hug after a bad day I was having and in that moment I knew everything was going to be alright with you by my side. Lovely Stoner I want you to know, you mended my broken heart and months ago I was on fire just waiting for myself to burn. But when you touched me, you turned that disastrous ugly burning fire, into a magnificent lovely firework and showed me off to the world just to remind me that my existence and my beauty is still admired by other people. Lovely stoner thank you for reminding me that I don't need to search for my other half because I'm not a half, I am full just by myself. That I am full of love and beauty that only a few people could ever see and you felt bad for them because they couldn't see it. Thank you for being good for my mental health, for loving my insecurities and my flaws and for making a heart for each of my flaws, because I should learn to love myself no matter what. For showing me that I don't have to prove my importance to other people because you said if somebody can't see what a masterpiece I am, they didn't know what art looked like and you called them amateurs. I remember you once told me I am like the moon, who goes through phases because of my mood swings and the moon isn't always bright and full, for I have my bad days and I feel this emptiness at times but you said "you don't ever stop loving her." You told me that throughout your dark time I was the moon to guide you through and the moon dusted has clouded your vision and I lit up your life like no one else has. In that moment you said the most honest and heartfelt thing to me and I've never been so close to anyone ever. Thank you for only making me cry out of laughter and my stomach doesn't even hurt from laughing and realizing in the middle of the laughter that you are the one. I wouldn't want to go through the bad times with someone else and through my good times I just want to spend it with you. Thank you for making every day as special as it can be and for having the patience with me. I love when you take me high through my lows. I know you aren't the romantic gesture type, but thank you for always showing you love me in the simple little gesture type of way. Thank you for accepting and loving me just the way I am lovely stoner.
Apr 2, 2016
Apr 2, 2016 at 10:37 PM UTC
If I'm a plumber then she's my princess peach,
if she's Zelda, then I'm her Link.
If my life was Contra, then she's my Konami Code.
Can't you tell ny Lady is the subject of this ode?
If she's Curly Brace then I'm her counterpart Quote,
Seriously, I'm in love with her if you didn't catch it I left a few notes,
If I'm the Belmonts, then she's the vampire killer,
if I'm Michael, she's my thriller.
If I'm Pac-Man, then she's my Miss
If I'm Alucard, then she's my transformation into mist
If I'm Kirby then she's waddle Dee,
quite frankly this is getting sappy so I'll get to the point.
I love this girl more than a stoner loves a joint.
(bonus points if you can name all the games referenced, and the Konami Code)
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 28, 2014 at 10:35 PM UTC
Two ticks click
through my ears
fuego leapt from
steel grasp to burn
destroying as it
flares across the valley
Smoke billowed into
the clutches of
hard, purple plastic
pressing in from all sides
funneled into sacks
of tendrils. They cringe
grey swirls choking
off pipes and
blood lines
Veins bursting with
new chemicals
Spewed out over
the burnt plains
But the valley
is just a small
groove on a
burnt out, tired
brain
Nov 13, 2012
Nov 13, 2012 at 3:55 AM UTC
Highland Park is the stoner park, everybody knows that. You go to Highland Park to smoke **** you don't take your kids to Highland Park. Well, you might if your kids are total potheads but then you'd have to buy a lot more ****
-Belle B. Blazed
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 6:58 AM UTC
One thread came loose with alcoholism at a very young age.
She recovered. She forgot and proceeded.
One thread was yanked loose by a growing tendency to self sabotage.
She clawed her way out of the spiral.
One thread pulled at others when she learnt she didn’t need alcohol to have a good time.
She felt deprived by self-restraint. So she slightly caved.
One thread burned along with her personality when she became a stoner again.
She was suffocated yet high.
One thread was singed by ****
She fell back into her ***** habits. She found herself here, but not quite present.
She became dependant. As she flooded her body parts with superficial happiness, just a quick release, her mouth grew dry. Then the peeling skin on her stained lips began to stick together and she regressed into a still and faded silence. In the end, she was in shreds and blissfully unaware, alone with nothing but one solitary thread left to grasp at.
Jan 7, 2019
Jan 7, 2019 at 7:30 PM UTC
Marijuana bowls
Bubbleubbleubbleubbleubble
Red eyes all around
Aug 21, 2012
Aug 21, 2012 at 11:34 PM UTC
Got that green reverberatin'.
When to stop?
She comptinplatin' cause the train done left the station.
It's a indecation her imagination on incline.
It's the primetime in mankind she on a zipline.
The picture done popped out the frame.
She on a train called insane, that cant be tamed.
But she is still on her game.
She fly high with them aviators.
Cruising space with Darth Vader.
That green **** she saver
Oct 20, 2012
Oct 20, 2012 at 2:36 PM UTC
The wall that was a stoner,
It was always very high,
Everyday it felt it could get
Higher,
******
Chipped
Looks, rough around the edges
Quite a scruffy looking wall,
It was bricking it once,
As it thought it was moving
But that was the clouds passing by.
The wall always felt used,
People,
Walking,
Over,
It all of the time,
Some even hit it,
***** were always soar"**
The wall was a stoner
Bricks,
Mortar,
&
More,
It was a high wall, because its days
Were still, it couldn't be anything more..
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014 at 2:17 PM UTC
Would you judge me?
Do y'know i wont judge you?
Can I be anything I want to be?
Or are there rules I have to conform to?
Spaceman cowboy hippie gangster stoner rockstar chef painter poet
playwright carpenter inventor scientist mathematician author actor
gardener tailor sailor musician comedian doctor pilot barista volunteer
partyplanner spiritualist director engineer psychologist beautician
Please do forgive me but there's more.
I'm greedy, I know, I want it all.
Immense experiences galore.
Money to me means null.
Jan 6, 2014
Jan 6, 2014 at 8:52 AM UTC
abandon ship, this ***** sinking!
why? captain goes down too...
so man your stations at the lifeboats
its a long swim home
kiss those lips like you're new favorite drug
**** stick and party favors
take another hit babe...it doesn't matter
the world'll stop if only an hour
come back! quit shaking, oh GOD you're not dead!
come on baby wake up! please GOD! come back!
i know you're shaking babe please stop
you scare me
we'll get help baby i promise
i swear
i knew this would happen its always the same
i was there first; now we're both trapped in this hell
do you remember what it felt like to have to have it
that burn in your gut
hands shaking still?
its been years for me too...
we're all poisoned
we're all dead
we all sing
its all dread
you're so crazy
Sep 17, 2010
Sep 17, 2010 at 8:05 PM UTC
i sit on the edge of the bench
accidentally bump knees, hear a grunt.
i want this hollow to be quenched
waiting silently for my turn with the blunt.
most of them use it as a social crutch
but i'm just here to fill my lungs.
not here for the hope of souls to touch
just desperate for the taste of ash on my tongue.
there's the stereotype of the stoner
cares about nothing, apt to start stealing.
but this self destruction comes from being a loner
and often the feeler of too many feelings.
so i'll sit on this bench surrounded by friends
who laugh like it can cure their sadness.
to me they're just the means to the end
sharers of smoke which allows me to vanish.
Sep 18, 2018
Sep 18, 2018 at 2:55 PM UTC
sometimes I don't like being a loner
but I guess its better than being a stoner
I am caught in mellow drama
kids these days hooked on marijuana
I will not smoke *** with you
but I will read you pride and prejudice
I like my books better than oxycontin
My Clarry and Jace more than your straight ***** and chase
I like books more than people
reading is my choice drug
while yours starts bringing you down
on your addiction is frowned
mine is making me looked up to
yes I am a loner
my walls build from Stephen kings
my heads not clouded with weirs the ****
no I guess I am not a stoner
but fictional people are better than real ones
I wont **** for a too finger bag
but touch my paper back and ill have your ***
Dec 12, 2015
Dec 12, 2015 at 11:30 PM UTC
I have a bad case of the munchies
Should have took a right
Maybe the next exit on this stoner highway
Will lead to munchville
This 1991 Chevy S10 is Casa de marijuana
Stoners only ride
6 oz of berry white
2 oz of bubba kush
3 1/2 gs of Pineapple Express
I'm ******
Yet I've only had 4 bowls 2 extendo blunts
And 1 braided joint
Lost my touch
Hold on
Let me get right
Alright I'm not even high
Lets smoke another bowl
I'm ready to **** it up all night
Smoke out the western hemisphere
I'm a stoner
Staying ****** in ******* Mexico
So roll you a blunt
Pack a bowl
**** up the night
Get ******* ******
Nov 6, 2014
Nov 6, 2014 at 11:20 PM UTC
I don't know man. It just has been different lately, you know?
No not really. What do you mean? Like, explain it.
Okay so you know how you do it and you feel everything dissolve? You know? And that warm fuzzy light fills you up and the back of your head sags all the way to the floor? You know how you can't stop smiling? How nothing matters because everything is going to be chill in the end? You know?
Yeah? So what's the issue?
Well recently, and I mean very recently, I just got this feeling. This ******* feeling for two hours and all I want is for it all to be over.
The thing is - I know that everything is fine. That it's all chill and that I'm just geeking out, but still, the way it makes me feel. I can't do that anymore.
How the hell does it make you feel dude? Jesus can we get to the point sometime soon?
Right, my bad. It's my heart first. I feel my heart going at a thousand ******* miles a minute but when I check my pulse or heart beat - everything is normal. But still I feel it in my chest yapping like a dog at the front door and I can't convince myself that this is chill. Then it's my chest. You know how Jesus died of suffocation on the cross?
I thought they stabbed him before they suffocated?
Whatever, you know what I mean, how people on crosses couldn't breathe because of their arms and lungs and chest or whatever? Well I get this feeling that my chest is thinner than a sheet of printer paper. That every single time that I inhale it's never enough. Then I get this electricity in the back of my head. It creeps up from my sternum, through my throat and then to my brain stem. Like an itch you can't ******* scratch no matter how many layers of skin you go through?
Jesus dude.
Then I convince myself that I can't move my right hand. Convince myself I'm partially paralyzed. Only I'm watching my right hand move. But I feel like it has to be an illusion, because how the hell am I moving a paralyzed hand? It's all gotten so ******* twisted that I don't know which sense I can trust.
Well are you sure that that's the reason? Why don't you take a small geeb or something? For the sake of the scientific method?
Listen to me you fool. There is no method to this. Just madness. But I suppose, in the name of fairness, I should do some more research. Maybe just this one last time. Just to be sure.
Exactly... So you wanna smoke some ****
Yes. I want to smoke some **** Just for science and all that. I kinda have to. It'd be unamerican to not smoke, right?
Right.
Jan 3, 2014
Jan 3, 2014 at 10:41 PM UTC
**** I'm really high.
Why did I bother getting ******
**** I'm REALLY high...
The end of senior year is close!
**** Why did I get high?
**** held me back for a year...
Of sitting, and staring, and staring, and sitting,
And laughing my *** to tears.
The *** became a small escape.
Like Superman without his cape.
Or a homeless guy with a 40 oz drink.
**** what am I saying?!
**** I'm high.
There's work to do?
But **** that ****
I'll chill for a bit.
And it's back to work for who?
Hopefully, my high ***
May 7, 2013
May 7, 2013 at 9:17 PM UTC
I had a dream This
One time where you were
All up inside and I was
all upsidown at camp
and there was rain and baked challah
with hair and dirt inside, but hey
why argue with free food?
And you were feeling me, making my hair stand
On edge and taking your time
Even though an avalanche was ready to hit
Come, bury me in snow and leave me to die in
Ecstasy, come, throw me off a building and
Let me fall into your dark
Gaze but don't let my boyfriend know, I don't
Let the devil out to play when he's around.
Baby, your fingers were lightning, breath like
Cigarette smoke and can you do
The french inhale because I want to be hot
Hot for you, but not only you
Don't forget, I like to roam wild, test
How far I can get you to go.
Manipulative? Nay, ingenious.
But somehow, you end up on
Top, getting me to beg for more, beg for you
To allow me to come and seep through
And you laugh as I grasp at straws,
Smoke some **** boy, its how you feel alive
You're how I feel alive
Passion, pity, cause me pain
But just a little, I like to be handled rough
Hair pulls, slaps, punish me
I've been a bad girl, I've been naughty
Cheating on my boyfriend in my head with you and you're
EVERYTHING THAT HE ISN'T
And nothing that I want him to be, so let
My fantasy continue, see you in hell
You make all my muscles clench with just
A tiny graze of skin, a stupid
Text and I know you don't mean it
You just want some, trying to get down my pants, it's
A game to you
Maybe I want to play
**** I know I want to
Me, a girl like me
As if you could possibly
Hard, let me feel you
As you run your teeth down my
You, stoner boy, make me scream for
Can you make me feel?
Aug 20, 2012
Aug 20, 2012 at 11:48 PM UTC
The Catholic church
endorsed the world today
for a dollar ninety nine.
-Announcement-
Every iPhone owner!
sinner, saint or stoner!
Come now have your sins forgiven!
forgiven if you spill your guts,
if you just confess,
then watch technology do the rest.
Absolution for you and me!
Send your sins across the sea!
your sins will fly up through the sky
encrypted on waves to reach the almighty,
the Vatican! the Pope!
A man of God appointed by the church
yet is he any different than you and me?
We know he sins the same as us,
the book of Romans says its so,*
and do you really think his tall hat
and flowing dress can make him
any more chosen than us?
Can he really hold back lust?
Will he not eventually turn to dust
Just like the rest of us?
is he really any different than us?
How ironic he receives a royalty from
a symbol of the fallen world,
The Apple
computer company,
payment for our absolution…
...So the world fell
by the fruit of a tree
and now expects to be
redeemed the same way.
The truth is not in a man.
the truth is not in the Apple.
The truth is not in the white smoke rising
from the stacks on Sistine Chapel.
The truth cannot be dried up.
The truth cannot be cured.
the truth is not the Pope's to smoke,
To believe it is absurd.
If you want to know the truth,
the truth is in the blood.
The blood covers everything.
Including what is written here.
Feb 9, 2011
Feb 9, 2011 at 5:54 AM UTC