"smurfs" poems
HaHA, I've done it! I've created a device
That can tap into my subconscious
and translate it for all to hear.
I will win the Nobel Prize!
I will be rich beyond my wildest dreams!
People will LIKE me!
So let's see here....I put on the cap, set the throttobombulator to 8.
Adjust for fuzzy dialation...set the circuit threshold to .79, make
sure the lucid translation synapses are firing...and yes. The next
words you hear will surely be written in History books one day,
much like Thomas Edison's first phonograph recording, or the
first telephone call!
Neural connection is active. Transmitting
**TRANSGENDERED KANGAROOS FORNICATE IN THE
PURPLE SHADE OF BETTE MIDLER'S THIGHS. PLEASE
PERFORM ******** AT THE BEHEST OF BUDDHIST
MONKS WITH LISPS. COUNT TO TEN AND BECOME
A BUXOM BLONDE ***** WITH BOUNCY *******
WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES TWELVE, CINDARELLA IS
ON HER KNEES AND ELBOWS BECAUSE IT'S ******
HARD TO GET LOW ENOUGH TO PLEASURE A DWARF**
Oh dear. This can't be right....now where's that 'off' switch?
**JACK AND JILL WENT OFF THE PILL SO JACK COULD
BE A FATHER. JACK WENT DOWN TO LONDON TOWN
AND PUNCHED THE DALAI LAMA. EDIBLE *******
GIVE YOU INDIGESTION. DO YOU KISS YOUR MOTHER
WITH THAT MOUTH, BECAUSE YOU SHOULD. (AND USE
SOME TONGUE THIS TIME)**
Oh My...Ladies and Gentlemen, It's clear that my invention
is experiencing technical difficulties. If you would please be patient---
**SATIN BRAS DON'T CHAFE. NONE OF THE SMURFS
HAD BLUE ***** THANKS TO SMURFETTE. I WONDER
WHAT MARY MAGDELINE WAS LIKE IN THE SACK? **
STUPIDSmashPieceSmashof GARBAGESMASH
DoNT LikE iT? tucK iT bAcK!!
Connection Lost
I...erm...clearly have some more work to do before it is ready
for the pubic--er..public. I have run into some...translation
errors...and need to re lubricate--CALIBRATE a few things.
Please don't tell my mother.
Feb 8, 2012
Feb 8, 2012 at 12:12 AM UTC
Shasha: If you like then u should’ve put a ring on it.
Emily: A.) not the right song b.) not singing time yet C.) What’s your name?
Shasha:BUT I WANT TO SING !!! And I’m Natasha
Emily: Sorry about that folks I’m Emily. We are the Purple People Peepers
Shasha: Purple is the color peeping is the uhm.... Dollar??
Emily: Well who here knows about the smurfs?
Shasha: Smurfs??
Emily: Yup.
Audience hoots and hollers
Emily:Well sometimes if I embarrass Natasha enough she looks like a smurf.
ShaSha: You weren’t supposed to tell people.
Emily: Sorry.
ShaSha: Emily shush its my turn.
Emily: Well alright.
Shasha: We’re gonna be singing!
Emily: Yeah... What song?
Shasha: We Wish You A Merry Christmas!
Emily: (Gives Shasha a sarcastic look) And A Happy New Year?
Shasha: What song is that?
Emily: (Gives Shasha a confused look) Or, we can sing the song we planned on singing.
Shasha: (Smiling) Okay! (Turns and looks at Emily, very confused) What song is that?
Emily: I Want You Back by
Shasha: Cher Llyod!
Emily: No, The Jackson 5.
Shasha: The band?
Emily: (Gives her another sarcastic look) Yes, Natasha, the band. The group, Sweetie, The Jackson 5 is a group.
Shasha: I know, when are we gonna start singing?
Emily: Right now.
Shasha: Great! Who’s singing first?
Emily: I don’t know!!! How about Hermes??Maybe Jesus??
Shasha: \What does that have to do with the song?
Emily: Really? I hadn’t thought about that *sarcasticalIy
’
Shasha: Because you’re not smart like me. (smiles and points at herself proudly)
Emily: Yeah.....thats why.....
Shasha: Tehe
Dec 6, 2013
Dec 6, 2013 at 10:37 AM UTC
Tales of ghouls and trick or treats
Witches, ghosts, and things to eat
The spirit world is here to greet
It's Hallowe'en again
Soaping windows, creaky doors
Begging like addicted ******
They keep coming, they want more
It's Hallowe'en again
Haunted houses, ghostly frights
Witches flying brooms tonight
A zombie lawyer is quite a sight
It's Hallowe'en agin
Charlie Brown and Snoopy too
Get rocks as treats, I ask...do you?
Dressed as smurfs, all done in blue
It's Hallowe'en again
The smell of fall is in the air
Tonight the kids are out to scare
I stay downstairs like I'm not there
It's Hallowe'en again
Sep 24, 2012
Sep 24, 2012 at 7:28 PM UTC
For those among us who lived by the rules,
Lived frugal lives of pubis-scratching desperation;
For those who sustained a zombie-like state for 30 or 40 years,
For these few, our lucky few—
We bequeath an interactive Life-Alert emergency dogtag,
Or a dog, a colossal beast of a pet,
A humongus Harlequin Dane dog to feed,
For that matter, why not buy a few new cars before you die?
Your home mortgage is dead and buried.
We gave you senior-citizen rates for water, gas & electricity—
“The Big 3,” as they are known in certain Gasoline Alley-retro
Neighborhoods among us,
Our parishes.
Our boroughs.
All this and more, had you lived small,
Had you played by the rules for Smurfs & Serfs.
We leave you the chance to treat your grandkids
Like Santa’s A-List clientele,
“Good ‘ol Grampa,” they’ll recollect fondly,
“Sweet Grammy Strunzo,” they will sigh.
What more could you want in retirement?
You’ve enabled another generation of deadbeat grandparents,
And now you’re next in line for the ice floe,
To be taken away while still alive,
Still hunched over and wheezing,
On a midnight sleigh ride,
Your son, pulling the proverbial Eskimo sled,
Down to some random Arctic shore,
Placing you gently on the ice floe.
Your son; your boy--
A true chip off the igloo, so to speak.
Jun 1, 2014
Jun 1, 2014 at 10:22 AM UTC
Indians are red
Smurfs are blue
My friend is cool
He punches holes in walls
Makes me *** much
#cries like a *****
But at the end of the day
I like girls 2(:
Jun 12, 2013
Jun 12, 2013 at 9:02 PM UTC
la laa la la sing the happy song!
the smurfs... they told me to **** again...
la la laa, lasing the happy song all day long
noose to the toes popsicle stick up the nose...what great fun!
la laa la la
time to **** again
la la la laa
death is my friend, 80\'s cartoons tell me to **** again...
la la laa sing the happy song...
I have a collection of tongues nailed to a gong...
it rings quite happily with a happy song...
la la laa la la, sing the happy song
i wish i lived in hong kong. thums are in hong kong...
la la laa la... sing the happy song
skin is blue, teeth are red, only one is paint,
smurfs are good people are bad, who says I need meds?
la la laa la... sing the happy song
I lay my feet among human heads
la la laa la... sing the happy song
my walls were not always red,
I like to ring my gong w/ every added leg
it rings quite happily with a happy song...
la la laa la... sing the happy song
take a bow, reach in my pants
not for reasons you think my friend
la la laa la... sing the happy song
decorate the stage w/ happy brains..
sing the happy song!
BLAM
May 13, 2015
May 13, 2015 at 6:41 AM UTC
ROSES ARE RED
SMURFS IS BLUE
PEANUTS' IS LOVELY
AND THE WORLD IS TOO!
Apr 25, 2013
Apr 25, 2013 at 1:50 PM UTC
When I first heard it was so and was truly for real I did not believe that it could be,
That this egotistical narcissist really did see himself as a leader and team player!!
When it was announced he may take the biggest seat in America, A Has been actor; Millionaire sure some truth there may be!
But *** My mouth first filled
Up tight with air sending shock waves to my
head then I heard what
my husband had really just said!!! huhh what now?!!
This is Legit, This is Real that this
Dumb **** is Really going to try to become president!!;
That alone made the Air Burst 0ut as laughter hit me hard to think this guy
" Your Fired" thought he could rule ovr the world !!"
Although not yet in house
started a plenty to WreaK Havoc
over us many!!!
I thought F No!! There is no way in Hell !!
This guy is for real ?!! I cannot take it holy **** batman his ShizzT do stank; Plans to get all up in there! Great for us Not! With some eating it up this cannot be good!.
what we had F'ing idiots saying Yes he is the one!Shit now our Fing hope
has grown wings and flown flown flown Way beyond and Yonder!!!
This Duesche of a president will soon be forced out and dismissed from his big wig seat & As Gargamel is to the smurfs this **** is to us here on this earth.!
I call a redo with more of a candidate selection lets
get a freakin Re-election.
Apr 23, 2017
Apr 23, 2017 at 12:43 PM UTC
kinda wanna go home and shop mindlessly, let the dull clicking of my mouse be my zen and then regret it when the high wears off
kinda wanna go for a walk that never ends and let my feet bleed through my unlaced sneakers and stain the sidewalk
kinda wanna dye my hair blue, and maybe the colour will turn my fingers into tiny smurfs and make me less boring and more worth noticing
kinda wanna sleep until my brain gets tired of itself and shuts down forever
kinda wanna let go,
but kinda wanna live too
Feb 7, 2015
Feb 7, 2015 at 7:44 AM UTC
un-damaged brains are such fertile fields
waiting to be sowed - as those with infantile
imagination are prone to dyslexic deficiencies
and given their dreams, have ensured their imaginations
be like foetal embryos - those prone to nightmares
will never be prone to Disney's wedlock being fulfilled -
dreams are imagination's thieves - and memory short-circuiting
a fake - analysis of conscious memory
is unlike analysis of unconscious memory -
albrecht dürer seemed sensible - we've become sensible,
but also too naive - our modern sensibility
extends into a belief in demons and angels
with modern pharmaceutical companies -
nothing has changed even though man is
in flux - with modern dentistry's trickery -
how can man trust man
and not feel obliged to distrust him
for reasons that provide us with travelling communes
or jeep-sees - see what lost diacritical approaches does
to the tongue entombed in optics? chiral-optics -
you can say gypsy and say jeep-see like a handshake.
god, we're paying for our original sin
with the virtuoso of animal plagiarism -
a mere peasant is also but a mere Mozart -
i too claim my right to talk easily among scaffold-men,
talk of his girlfriend and Smurfs due to height
and Gargamel - i rather among them than in
what is talked as the pop of the Smiths' vocab
of schooling and regret blues; cats demonic, dogs
saintly.
Jul 29, 2016
Jul 29, 2016 at 10:38 PM UTC
When I was a kid I didn't like waking up
before afternoon,
except for a Saturday...'Let me
watch those cartoons.'
I watched 'Smurfs' and 'Transformers',
to say the least.
Also 'Disneyland' shows with talking
tea cups as in 'Beauty and the beast.'
As an adult I know 'Racoons' really don't talk,
in the way we can tell.
Now there is 'Harry Potter', wonder if
he can really do spell.
Forests and fairies and trees sometimes
dance.
Also in, 'Wizard of oz,' the yellow brick road
was given a chance.
Like magical kingdoms with mountain
tops with peaks at their highest.
With fairies looking like little people....
Oh my.... now there's Anthropomorphism at its finest.
Oct 2, 2017
Oct 2, 2017 at 8:18 PM UTC
My lungs are blue
My eyes are red
I've been smoking Smurfs
Every night before bed
Jun 24, 2019
Jun 24, 2019 at 4:55 PM UTC
Blue is the colour of the shimmering ocean,
Or of somebody's eyes, filled with emotion.
Blue is the colour of a bright summer sky,
Of of somebody's tears when they cry.
Blue can be the colour of a little smurfs skin,
Or the colour of a big recycling bin.
Blue is the colour of a freshly picked blueberry,
Blue is an avatar who looks a bit scary.
Blue is the colour of a singing bluejay,
Perched on a branch on a winter day.
Blue is the colour of a magestic blue whale,
Or the colour of sadness you were when you felt like a fail.
There are so many shades of blue,
Different tones and different hues.
Not all of them are sad,
Though blues reputation is rather bad.
Apr 28, 2016
Apr 28, 2016 at 5:34 PM UTC
old faces
new traces
old hallways
new ballets
old smells
new friends
new sounds
old crowds
looking the same
same shades of
bleu
and white
where is the pride?
all smurfs we are
still looking from afar
craving that far
Sep 1, 2025
Sep 1, 2025 at 9:01 AM UTC