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"siddhartha" poems
I believe in a universe where a sleepy eye opens existence... a slowly drooping eyelid ushers it away. I believe in a universe where Indra and the other Gods churn the cosmic milk... where Shiva does the eternal dance. I believe in a universe where light is separate from darkness and mankind is molded from a ball of divine **** a breath, Be and it is. I believe in a universe where Gaia watches as Cronus devours her children until she gives him a stone... and hides Zeus away. I believe in a universe that expands from a singularity of infinitely dense potentiality less than a speck, to our cosmos immeasurable in scale. I believe in a universe where Lao Tuz hands a guard a little book of wisdom before disappearing into the mountains where the sages go. I believe in a universe where Siddhartha contemplates emptiness and feels the winds of eternity whistling through his soul. I believe in a universe where E=Mc2. I believe in a universe where an old man lights the first holy fire and describes the war between light and goodness vs darkness and evil. I believe in a universe where the earth and moon, and all the planets go round the sun... in a galaxy carrying us dancing a waltz we can only catch glimpses of. I believe in a universe where "Know Thyself" is revered as a deep truth. I believe in a universe where an unexamined life is not worth living. I believe in a universe where the words of a carpenter are a true path. I believe in a universe where an illiterate man is commanded Read!... a burning coal upon the lips. I believe in a universe where every God and Goddess exist, each in their own heaven... each in their own hell. I believe in a universe where there are no gods or goddesses only the relentless laws of matter, energy and gravity. I believe in a universe where everything is mathematics. I believe in a universe where everything is holy I believe in a universe where everything in profane. I believe in a universe where everything is a simulation. I believe in a universe where everything is ****** in nature. I believe in a universe where everything is stimulation. I believe in a universe where the hoochie ******* is what its all about. I believe in the universe.
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Jan 6, 2018
Jan 6, 2018 at 2:19 PM UTC
I Believe
I believe in a universe where a sleepy eye opens existence... a slowly drooping eyelid ushers it away. I believe in a universe where Indra and the other Gods churn the cosmic milk... where Shiva does the eternal dance. I believe in a universe where light is separate from darkness and mankind is molded from a ball of divine **** a breath, Be and it is. I believe in a universe where Gaia watches as Cronus devours her children until she gives him a stone... and hides Zeus away. I believe in a universe that expands from a singularity of infinitely dense potentiality less than a speck, to our cosmos immeasurable in scale. I believe in a universe where Lao Tuz hands a guard a little book of wisdom before disappearing into the mountains where the sages go. I believe in a universe where Siddhartha contemplates emptiness and feels the winds of eternity whistling through his soul. I believe in a universe where E=Mc2. I believe in a universe where an old man lights the first holy fire and describes the war between light and goodness vs darkness and evil. I believe in a universe where the earth and moon, and all the planets go round the sun... in a galaxy carrying us dancing a waltz we can only catch glimpses of. I believe in a universe where "Know Thyself" is revered as a deep truth. I believe in a universe where an unexamined life is not worth living. I believe in a universe where the words of a carpenter are a true path. I believe in a universe where an illiterate man is commanded Read!... a burning coal upon the lips. I believe in a universe where every God and Goddess exist, each in their own heaven... each in their own hell. I believe in a universe where there are no gods or goddesses only the relentless laws of matter, energy and gravity. I believe in a universe where everything is mathematics. I believe in a universe where everything is holy I believe in a universe where everything in profane. I believe in a universe where everything is a simulation. I believe in a universe where everything is ****** in nature. I believe in a universe where everything is stimulation. I believe in a universe where the hoochie ******* is what its all about. I believe in the universe.
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53
True Stories #1 This is the first of what will be a series of little vignettes. When I was fourteen, I was the alienate hipster rebel In a private school hellhole. Hair long, tie knot never pushed up, Unbuttoned button-down shirts, Camus lover, Siddhartha disciple, Small acts of disdain, Expressions of teenage hell-pain. One day, the principal Threw me out to get a haircut. Went to the nearby barbershop, Which was in the underground, Subway stop. Returned to school where It was Pronounced unacceptable. Twice more this charade-escapade, Went on, till the barber cried and would not Charge me anymore. Shorn like a lamb, My mother roared like a lion. The next day, the man in charge, Who would marry my second son, Three decades later, Called me in and sort-of-apologized. From that day, I never respected authority, Only learned to fear tyranny. See photo of my latest protest!
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Oct 5, 2013
Oct 5, 2013 at 7:40 AM UTC
True Stories #1
Sometimes you close your eyes, Hoping for Nirvana But then you realize Kurt Cobain shot himself twice: Once with ****** Once with a shotgun. You figure that if Buddha can't save you, Who will?
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Sep 23, 2013
Sep 23, 2013 at 3:09 AM UTC
Siddhartha
Things coming and going at the  same  time is the most sublime Rhyme Einstein and Siddhartha  knew this many years ago They told us something that we just don't really want to know   Things coming and going at the same time Is the most sublime  Rhyme Bits of seconds  passing by Keep on looking them in the eye   Be here now,  time will fly As bits of seconds pass you by Things coming and going at the same  time Is the most sublime Rhyme When the earth quakes And shakes the ground Beneath your feet Slip into the crack and don't look  back Let your heart skip a  beat Things coming and going at the same time Is the most sublime Rhyme Sean Hunt  May 8 2016
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May 13, 2016
May 13, 2016 at 7:33 AM UTC
The Most Sublime Rhyme
Cast to the valley wind, withering into the element, the lone rock, forlorn twig, shivering lake of the late season. Off he goes, off he goes, the prince, in search of peace. That first time when voice breaks: the agony of growing up in a transient world; Moments when the rhythm of hearts beating in unision breaks, pain that accompanies sensation here: of loss when age catches up with hope. The constant, the concealed ever-present: suffering, the shadow of life. Off he goes, off he goes, the prince, in search of lasting peace in a world of transient joys.
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Jul 18, 2013
Jul 18, 2013 at 12:25 AM UTC
The journey | Siddhartha
Sometime in everyone's life, withered leaves will not grow back and one autumn will not pass to spring. Sometimes we know. Suffering. The constant visitor hidden like a shadow silhouetting our life. Every slow winding hour, we move closer to when limbs falter and senses numb. Endings ever lie hidden like a corner sudden at the far end of a thrilling road. Sometimes we are sure, we are more than the frame of bones. Suffering is inferior, deliverance is the greater truth. But: we don't care, the thrill of weakness is more attractive than the calm of Self. One momentous journey, out of the false-lit comfort of familiar darkness. These that stalk us: disease, old age, death. One man could see it all in one evening what takes us many lives, may be.
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Oct 18, 2012
Oct 18, 2012 at 1:32 PM UTC
Out of familiar darkness | Siddhartha
I hope I see the moon in the British Aisles So I can imagine myself staring from home. I hope I see the moon from Belgium as I imagine the old lover I will never forget gazing, exhausted, from Uxbridge. I hope I seee the moon from Paris so I can imagine the millenia of poets and I-love-you-till-it-kills-me romancers gazing from French cafes, sipping on their wine, coffee, tea and I think of great friends in Victoria, glancing towards it from busses 9 hours later on a commute to Uptown Downtown what town? I hope I see the moon from Vancouver so I can imagine child-me watching the white of the cheese-like craters wondering nothing but so, so very curious. I hope I see the moon from Toronto past smog and spring-time city shadows so I can imagine the short-lived friends I made in Ottawa looking to it with awe and smiles grasping the fingers of a loved one. Everytime I see that great omnipotent orb I imagine Marcus Aurelius in the court of Rome Julius Caesar on the battlefields of Gaul Charlemagne crossing the Rhine St. Augustine marching through the desert Micochondrial Adam tossing a spear into  the heart of a boar Soldiers of the American Revolution the British war for South Africa the Prussian Empire the Third ***** Siddhartha and his son Li Po hugging his moonlit reflection Han Shan on cold mountain Kerouac in San Francisco Burroughs in Morocco Snyder in Japan Thomas walking to work Brian out on a stroll My future life lover future girlfriends all gazing at that wonderful omnipotent moon the same moon that gazes so still so patient forever as far as I'm concerned.
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Dec 9, 2012
Dec 9, 2012 at 5:23 PM UTC
The Watcher and the Watching
I hope I see the moon in the British Aisles So I can imagine myself staring from home. I hope I see the moon from Belgium as I imagine the old lover I will never forget gazing, exhausted, from Uxbridge. I hope I seee the moon from Paris so I can imagine the millenia of poets and I-love-you-till-it-kills-me romancers gazing from French cafes, sipping on their wine, coffee, tea and I think of great friends in Victoria, glancing towards it from busses 9 hours later on a commute to Uptown Downtown what town? I hope I see the moon from Vancouver so I can imagine child-me watching the white of the cheese-like craters wondering nothing but so, so very curious. I hope I see the moon from Toronto past smog and spring-time city shadows so I can imagine the short-lived friends I made in Ottawa looking to it with awe and smiles grasping the fingers of a loved one. Everytime I see that great omnipotent orb I imagine Marcus Aurelius in the court of Rome Julius Caesar on the battlefields of Gaul Charlemagne crossing the Rhine St. Augustine marching through the desert Micochondrial Adam tossing a spear into  the heart of a boar Soldiers of the American Revolution the British war for South Africa the Prussian Empire the Third ***** Siddhartha and his son Li Po hugging his moonlit reflection Han Shan on cold mountain Kerouac in San Francisco Burroughs in Morocco Snyder in Japan Thomas walking to work Brian out on a stroll My future life lover future girlfriends all gazing at that wonderful omnipotent moon the same moon that gazes so still so patient forever as far as I'm concerned.
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44
Siddhartha sat steady on a the hearth of an apartment, eyes closed mouth closed, mind open and enchanted Zen-man lingers in a dark park starting, to realise indiscretions of his past lives avatar (but don't for a second believe the lies you've been fed by the brother of your brother and the father's of the jingoist mafia because eyes blink often and the accumulative effect is a life of temporary blindness and in that blindness it's not possible to be enlightened) Your mantras are a lie but the belief remains still and so rolling over wild green hills in some Welsh country village it dawns on the spirits of the ether that humanity is struggling to find absolution of even the most relative peace - but so, and Siddhartha still sits, cross-legged and barely breathing Emaciated; fast, faster Losing her nerve Zen-man died a few months back but you always live again and so a beetle on a hot car hood scampers in some intrinsic folly, semi-aware of being something or being at all Towards the walls of weather-beaten towns the levee finally bursts and all life ends - until a gathering mist pulls absurd faces in the simpatico rays of a third-eye sun over the bayou of some forgotten rock in the cosmos and the ethereal temptress of existence rolls the next dice on a green matted board and our unified oneness speaks a solitudinal greeting to the sky.
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Jul 14, 2014
Jul 14, 2014 at 12:29 PM UTC
Eating Kosher Meals in A Starbucks Car Park, Discussing The Zionist Agenda Wearing Keffiyehs and Listening to Rage Against The Machine on An iPod
In the still night, a quest envelops everything like darkness spread across the sky. Among shadows, a journey for light. One last time like the night lingering at the horizon at dawn he looks back: So long dear friend, companion ever on my journey this far; You know everything, yet I cannot bear to leave otherwise; Know not what perils beset my quest, Yasho, this journey is mine. Words echo in the empty silence of this early hour. This morning after, gusts of wind remind of an absence, yet only the fragrance of love fills the empty chambers where memories retire by royal robes cast behind. Too great to be bound, some men; some love too vast to bind.
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Oct 26, 2012
Oct 26, 2012 at 12:03 PM UTC
Some love too vast to bind | Siddhartha
nobody gives a **** about poetry or books charles bukowski or siddhartha nobody gives a **** about the universe or extra terrestrials carl sagan or that we are stardust nobody gives a **** about Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd Joni Mitchell or Nirvana nobody gives a **** except for me
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Jul 19, 2013
Jul 19, 2013 at 12:27 PM UTC
Is There Anybody Out There?
Misty mountain not so high, Please let me enlighten before I die, The smell of incense in the air, Live a good life with a bit of care, Reason is treason with wrath, Anger will take you down a horrid path, Misty mountain haze come to me, Forever in a rain drop of a sorrowful sea, Enlightened once more on the path of Life.
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Apr 30, 2013
Apr 30, 2013 at 9:25 PM UTC
Siddhartha Gutama
You remind me much of myself. You remind me much of myself except, more together... You remind me of myself every time I see the words "Midnight" "Haiku" All of your words are golden bright, a white knight righteously marching for truth. Optimistic Siddhartha--     A Copacetic Beyonder back again to remind man it's all going to be allright, man.
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Apr 10, 2012
Apr 10, 2012 at 10:58 PM UTC
Dear Matthew P. Hill,
A dynamic life That's what I've always wanted And it seems to be what I've ended up with It's such a thing to look back and see how far I've come from where I was I needed to believe in progress When I was younger And learned about Siddhartha I became so inspired I finally knew what to go after Enlightenment The cure to these insufferable thoughts Some sort of consistency between what was real and what was not No one ever told me about the side effects Nietzsche was always after me Plato trying desperately to show me the trees Capitalism challenging me to determine the difference between what I want and what I need The side effects: I couldn't tell the difference from one person to the next The opposite of dynamic is static I've grown numb by the shock of every time I encounter it How can you be so dense? How can you not see? There's very little difference between you and me Sometimes I feel mad I get so angry The side effect of pursuing enlightenment Is insanity
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Nov 18, 2013
Nov 18, 2013 at 5:42 AM UTC
Side Effects
What kind of drugs was he on When he saw the unity of all things? Which type of kush was he smoking? Was it indica, sativa or hybrid? This is a lazy man's enlightenment To let the plants lead your mind So whatever you may find It was shown to you How many shrooms did Moses eat When he went up on that mountain? What stage of schizophrenia was he at When we thought he talked to God? Could I jump three rings of density If I get really high? Fifth, sixth, seventh and the octave Clear into a bigger sky What was Siddhartha smoking When he sat beneath that tree? To see all faces in an instant How he's linked up with me
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Nov 26, 2018
Nov 26, 2018 at 6:05 PM UTC
What Was Siddhartha Smoking Under That Bodhi Tree?
I have residue in my blood of every lover I've ever had, pulsing through my veins, making my head swell, making my legs shake. You call me Siddhartha Siddhartha Gautama I am The Buddha, you say. Understanding everything is connected. At total peace, gone to pieces as my heart pumps blood so hard my legs shake to the beat. Om above my bed, every of the seven chakras jumbled because I have trouble letting go. More often, I have trouble holding on.
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Oct 26, 2012
Oct 26, 2012 at 10:28 PM UTC
Siddsy
pogo thought they is we - when the picnic ends in confusion - and the lemonade is spoiled by ashes. aristotle thought courage a great virtue - death a great adventure - and teaching the highest understanding. siddhartha thought life is all illusion - and that we must practice dying - until we finally understand. rumi thought death is awakening - and with his thought turning turning turning - he danced into the light of understanding. jesus thought death is new life abundant - and that he would make us welcome.
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Jul 21, 2012
Jul 21, 2012 at 11:19 PM UTC
credo 7 - death
the kid who smoked *** with me every night on my ratty couch now has Elder slapped in front of his name, a closet full of suits and matching socks, a two year sentence and a destination Apostles who make nothing short of six figures drop holy oil on his head and say words that are supposed to bless and 'set apart' because now he is not just any kid, he is a kid who must knock on doors and teach others that they aren't good enough. from the age of 8 when he was dunked in some water and asked if he would join the army of Christ like some kind of secret club on the playground he was told that he would need to save money for this day i guess the church spends too much money on political campaigns against human rights to pay for their own missionary costs here he is 10 years later too afraid to tell his parents that he believes in God about as much as he believes in the Easter Bunny because if he did, his mom and dad would be frowned upon whispered about forever made the talk of the neighborhood can you blame him? he loves them i wrap up a copy of Siddhartha in our favorite skate magazine and leave a note that reads: your own happiness is worth fighting for best on your adventures
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Aug 14, 2011
Aug 14, 2011 at 9:25 PM UTC
religious ranting # ten billion
Then this Potent Dragon my Dredglings fear, One which Expected me in all Surprise: That your File as Prince and Lord revere, Already Pre-Owned and Locked in her Prize When Tears cry Blood, and Blood their Ties disown So to these Stinging Bells your News persist Which your Smile bait Worms by Jelly reknown Suffice even the Enlightened to resist Thus the Siege, which dear Siddhartha did warn, Offered the Goddess of Mercy such View: To Breathe and Blow free my Charmings consarn And hold to the Heart of mine own self True. These Fourteen-Lined Girls cried your Muse repeat Of casting my Levels versus your Feat. ‬
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Jul 16, 2013
Jul 16, 2013 at 9:47 PM UTC
SONNET TRIBUTE SUNDRY - TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY FOUR - TOM DALEY
I was born a sandwich kid Not much love was shown There was a situation Lonely and alone I would cry, affection dry As a desert bone. I had no preprocessing traits If care were in a well I would fail if I sunk my pail Into the depths of hell Neglect my due so it ensued I grew up a shell. *We all need love to water us A child must be fed But if the care's not in the air They might as well be dead Cakes are baked with sugar If it's not put in first Can't bake again the bitter end The cake is dry as dust.* And so I started using drugs When I was but a teen I ditched school, I was a fool Because I could have been Anything I wanted Instead out there wasted A runaway, a wasteland A stunted tree and blasted. (chorus) I turned to religion I thought I was home free Buddhism, the SRF And scientology Transcendental Meditation I read of the Bahai' I read the book Siddhartha It was like a high But i lost faith and turned to drugs Over and over again I was ****** could not atone I can now this story pen (chorus) Then I found my savior The Lord Jesus Christ I was beat, but He was heat And melted all the ice Around my heart, then I did start To conquer every vice I found the Holy Spirit I found my Father dear Don't think it odd, I found God And now I have no fear! *We all need Love to water us With Manna we are fed We conquer sin, and we can win, We can get ahead We all need a High Tower A place where we can go To bask in love from up above and let the Spirit flow! **[bridge] We can all find sweetness It CAN be restored We are FREE and we can SEE OUR PRECIOUS SOVEREIGN LORD!*** SoulSurvivor (C) 3/19/2016
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Mar 19, 2016
Mar 19, 2016 at 4:18 PM UTC
We All Need Love
I was born a sandwich kid Not much love was shown There was a situation Lonely and alone I would cry, affection dry As a desert bone. I had no preprocessing traits If care were in a well I would fail if I sunk my pail Into the depths of hell Neglect my due so it ensued I grew up a shell. *We all need love to water us A child must be fed But if the care's not in the air They might as well be dead Cakes are baked with sugar If it's not put in first Can't bake again the bitter end The cake is dry as dust.* And so I started using drugs When I was but a teen I ditched school, I was a fool Because I could have been Anything I wanted Instead out there wasted A runaway, a wasteland A stunted tree and blasted. (chorus) I turned to religion I thought I was home free Buddhism, the SRF And scientology Transcendental Meditation I read of the Bahai' I read the book Siddhartha It was like a high But i lost faith and turned to drugs Over and over again I was ****** could not atone I can now this story pen (chorus) Then I found my savior The Lord Jesus Christ I was beat, but He was heat And melted all the ice Around my heart, then I did start To conquer every vice I found the Holy Spirit I found my Father dear Don't think it odd, I found God And now I have no fear! *We all need Love to water us With Manna we are fed We conquer sin, and we can win, We can get ahead We all need a High Tower A place where we can go To bask in love from up above and let the Spirit flow! **[bridge] We can all find sweetness It CAN be restored We are FREE and we can SEE OUR PRECIOUS SOVEREIGN LORD!*** SoulSurvivor (C) 3/19/2016
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67
I miss you As Charon revolves around Pluto, And a lunar eclipse reveals itself for once in a generation.... For once in my generation... I miss you Like i miss me. Siddhartha Gautama wandered Purposely into a forest, And learned a wealth of consciousness. I miss you. I miss you like arid land misses water, I miss you. I miss you like a mortal misses forever, I miss you. I miss you like I miss me, I miss you. I miss you like art Misses a retired artist, I miss you like I miss me, I miss you... (c) 2014 Brandon Antonio Smith (Originally written 12/21/10, Revised 9/23/14)
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Sep 28, 2014
Sep 28, 2014 at 12:20 PM UTC
I You
Part 1 The snooze button empowers me to the veto the day However some Congressional sub-committees on time and financing appear to be overriding my action Part 2 I have played with clouds I have seen moons drop past the horizons of distant worlds I have talked to Solomon, Moses, Jesus, Muhammad, Siddhartha, the Dalai Lama, all of his incarnations, Gandhi, Ben Franklin, Abraham Lincoln and soldiers returning home from countless wars And I have been disappointed thousands of times because you have awoke me before I was fully enlightened Part 3 You should have warned me before I said something stupid Why don't you ever signal me before I over draw my checking account You could of let out some kind of peep telling me that the dog was about to crap on the floor You are good for nothing Part 4 It needs to be over between us I am in love with pillow
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Dec 9, 2013
Dec 9, 2013 at 12:38 PM UTC
Alarm Clock
Beauty Is As Beauty Does A Story by Eclipsing Moon-blood red If enough people are interested I will continue with this series as a Book with chapters this one being renamed ...Beauty Is As Beauty Does-Prologue . Beauty Is As Beauty Does A Story by Eclipsing Moon-blood red If enough people are interested I will continue with this series as a Book with chapters, this one being renamed ...Beauty Is as Beauty Does-Prologue. In the dark recesses of the void, we call our universe a cloud was forming, one devoid of morals or intent. The molecules came together under the thought processes of a malignantly minded old sorcerer, blended with his hope of a lasting endowment of centuries of learning and spell castings. He was searching for a one to carry on his knowledge and spells of potion and this cloud could carry out the espying in secret as he wished...under cover of dark and thought...unless a spirit was descerned by another caster of woven potions. Today in time was measured more by centuries and decades as the process took... its form...questing for the entity as this universe and others had been targeted for his type of Magic...sorcerers specialized in their trade and like all good practioners he had his fireworks shows with energy beams and potion majic mixed to control and manipulate the certain being he was working with...for power was the name of his gambit...the access and addition of as well as controlling in the sphere of a society...let’s just say he got his jollies from using others well earned energy..What they worked for...he stole and reveled in the process. It just so happened that today...his cloud was in the vicinity of a planet known to the Magical world as Earth...Terra...this being inhabitied by beings in many dimensions and frequensies...it seemed to home in on a child...being birthed as a logical consideration ..So that; further study was merited .Marking this beings location in the foothills of a hidden mountain range ...in the Tibetan range and former birthplace of a religious teacher known as Lord Buddha...Siddhartha...and a nice long history in the telling of the Monks who followed him...this time a twist a counter turn of the incarnation was a Female child ..Looking to be imbued with the same set of majical powers...and the beginning of another time and space of reign as the first...excellent time to lay claim to the mind and teachings of this ...ONE..Of Beauty.
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Sep 28, 2011
Sep 28, 2011 at 12:50 PM UTC
Beauty Is As Beauty Does
Beauty Is As Beauty Does A Story by Eclipsing Moon-blood red If enough people are interested I will continue with this series as a Book with chapters this one being renamed ...Beauty Is As Beauty Does-Prologue . Beauty Is As Beauty Does A Story by Eclipsing Moon-blood red If enough people are interested I will continue with this series as a Book with chapters, this one being renamed ...Beauty Is as Beauty Does-Prologue. In the dark recesses of the void, we call our universe a cloud was forming, one devoid of morals or intent. The molecules came together under the thought processes of a malignantly minded old sorcerer, blended with his hope of a lasting endowment of centuries of learning and spell castings. He was searching for a one to carry on his knowledge and spells of potion and this cloud could carry out the espying in secret as he wished...under cover of dark and thought...unless a spirit was descerned by another caster of woven potions. Today in time was measured more by centuries and decades as the process took... its form...questing for the entity as this universe and others had been targeted for his type of Magic...sorcerers specialized in their trade and like all good practioners he had his fireworks shows with energy beams and potion majic mixed to control and manipulate the certain being he was working with...for power was the name of his gambit...the access and addition of as well as controlling in the sphere of a society...let’s just say he got his jollies from using others well earned energy..What they worked for...he stole and reveled in the process. It just so happened that today...his cloud was in the vicinity of a planet known to the Magical world as Earth...Terra...this being inhabitied by beings in many dimensions and frequensies...it seemed to home in on a child...being birthed as a logical consideration ..So that; further study was merited .Marking this beings location in the foothills of a hidden mountain range ...in the Tibetan range and former birthplace of a religious teacher known as Lord Buddha...Siddhartha...and a nice long history in the telling of the Monks who followed him...this time a twist a counter turn of the incarnation was a Female child ..Looking to be imbued with the same set of majical powers...and the beginning of another time and space of reign as the first...excellent time to lay claim to the mind and teachings of this ...ONE..Of Beauty.
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12
*A Story of Scientology and the Mental Health System Connection BACKGROUND* I was born Catherine Eugenia Jarvis,  and I was a horrible child. The kinda kid that you'd LOOK for if she got lost... but NOT very hard. I was the sandwich child. The red headed one. The BAD girl. A terrible tease. But inside I SO longed to be loved. There just wasn't alot of that to go 'round. Mom was working or sick. And dad worked LONG hours. My sister and I were ***** at age 4 & 3 respectively. She felt guilty she couldn't "protect" me, so she withdrew. Then my little brother was born. He was my sister's little doll. And it wounded me so that I lashed out. I targeted my poor little brother. I called him names, names that I knew went straight to his HEART. I'm weeping now. How I wish I could change the past! Dear reader, I have a samurai tongue. And I knew how to cut where it would hurt the MOST. A fact *I'm not at all proud of!* But, it happened. I was also mean to my pets. But inside i wept SO bitterly! I did not want to do what I did! But SOMETHING compelled me... Then at the age of 13 I began to drink. I started using "white crosses". *** By 14 I was using LSD. *** Peyote. I was SO out of control!  My poor parents despaired... Then... a MIRACLE! My parents put me in college when I was 16. I hated high school with a PASSION. I didn't fit in anywhere. Not even with the stoners. I was kicked out of my 10th year for ditching and possession of marijuana. My vice-principle told me I'd always be a LOSER. That I'd never accomplish anything in life. Nice. He put me in Juvie. My parents got a psychologist. He said I was bored in high school because I was too smart. So they put me in college. I THRIVED! I still ditched a bit, but I could take ART CLASSES! And WRITING! POETRY! And MUSIC! And the people were SO different! They LIKED ME! Well. Part of THAT was because I lost weight. About 50 lbs! I was actually pretty. For the first time in my life. And to say THAT was confusing wouldn't be nearly enough. At any rate, I'd CHANGED. I became very spiritual. I read about Transcendental Meditation. I read the book "Siddhartha". I dabbled in the Self Realization Fellowship. And, finally, I joined the ***"Church" of Scientology. THE WORST MISTAKE OF MY YOUNG LIFE*** I was 19 years old.
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Mar 9, 2017
Mar 9, 2017 at 12:19 AM UTC
MADWOMAN ACROSS THE WATER (PART II)
*A Story of Scientology and the Mental Health System Connection BACKGROUND* I was born Catherine Eugenia Jarvis,  and I was a horrible child. The kinda kid that you'd LOOK for if she got lost... but NOT very hard. I was the sandwich child. The red headed one. The BAD girl. A terrible tease. But inside I SO longed to be loved. There just wasn't alot of that to go 'round. Mom was working or sick. And dad worked LONG hours. My sister and I were ***** at age 4 & 3 respectively. She felt guilty she couldn't "protect" me, so she withdrew. Then my little brother was born. He was my sister's little doll. And it wounded me so that I lashed out. I targeted my poor little brother. I called him names, names that I knew went straight to his HEART. I'm weeping now. How I wish I could change the past! Dear reader, I have a samurai tongue. And I knew how to cut where it would hurt the MOST. A fact *I'm not at all proud of!* But, it happened. I was also mean to my pets. But inside i wept SO bitterly! I did not want to do what I did! But SOMETHING compelled me... Then at the age of 13 I began to drink. I started using "white crosses". *** By 14 I was using LSD. *** Peyote. I was SO out of control!  My poor parents despaired... Then... a MIRACLE! My parents put me in college when I was 16. I hated high school with a PASSION. I didn't fit in anywhere. Not even with the stoners. I was kicked out of my 10th year for ditching and possession of marijuana. My vice-principle told me I'd always be a LOSER. That I'd never accomplish anything in life. Nice. He put me in Juvie. My parents got a psychologist. He said I was bored in high school because I was too smart. So they put me in college. I THRIVED! I still ditched a bit, but I could take ART CLASSES! And WRITING! POETRY! And MUSIC! And the people were SO different! They LIKED ME! Well. Part of THAT was because I lost weight. About 50 lbs! I was actually pretty. For the first time in my life. And to say THAT was confusing wouldn't be nearly enough. At any rate, I'd CHANGED. I became very spiritual. I read about Transcendental Meditation. I read the book "Siddhartha". I dabbled in the Self Realization Fellowship. And, finally, I joined the ***"Church" of Scientology. THE WORST MISTAKE OF MY YOUNG LIFE*** I was 19 years old.
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Under the sprawling Bodhi Tree, Siddhartha sits with his primary vow: How to alleviate suffering In this world--here and now. Suddenly, Mara appears-- Mara the tempter--with his sinister grin. Siddhartha stays calm and unafraid And graciously welcomes the tempter in. Offering supernatural powers Around which the human ego revolves, Mara observes as Siddhartha sits, And every thought of power dissolves. Mara then offers his beautiful daughters, Hoping Siddhartha yields to temptation. In silence the unperturbed seeker Shows the depth of his aspiration. Growing furious, Mara calls up Armies of demons of fear and desire. They surely should stir Siddhartha's Deep anxieties and inner fire. Siddhartha merely gains greater insight Instead of succumbing to Mara's ploys. Mara departs in a rage, leaving Siddhartha in a calm, quiescent poise. After six days a Buddha "awakens" As the traces of night start to disperse. From looking into his innermost nature, He's seen the face of the universe. - by Bob B
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Oct 2, 2016
Oct 2, 2016 at 10:47 AM UTC
The Awakening
The moon (in my head), a guy named Fish (in my eye), **** star (in my ******* in my shoulders (Issac Newton), in the soles of my feet (Siddhartha Gautama), in my face (a girl named Arcade), the devil (in my foot), a forest (in my ******* dolphins (on my lips), in my jaw (David Lynch). In my mouth (the cosmos), Arkenya (everywhere). Jimi Hendrix (hanging on my ears), my ex-boyfriend Christopher (in my ****** Jesus Christ (in my heart), in my skin (culture), God (everywhere).
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Jan 2, 2016
Jan 2, 2016 at 6:28 PM UTC
The Temple of God