i like to buy things
because then they are mine
always
can i buy you?

Do you look around and
pick an attractive stranger and ask
would this individual
make a good spouse?

Are they someone I can depend
on when the going get's tough,
when the world starts
to tilt on it's axis; when
things fall apart,
and everything
I ever owned
is shattered
in tiny
unrecognizable
pieces?

What about the ***?
Can this person
keep up with
my desires, or
will the judge me
by my
turn ons?

Do you take a survey
that outlines this perfect
lover; and do their
beliefs and ideas
align with yours?

Such a beautiful
and tidy future
so easily predicted.

When you're young
it's easy to make a few
mistakes here and there;
it's only when you get older
that you start to
cherry pick.

Don't want to waste anymore time;

Don't want to feel like such

a fool.

No one taught you to
believe in forever, but
somehow that idea
burrowed it's way
into your heart
and set the whole thing ablaze;

Now it's a cinder
of what it used to be
when you were a child.

Twenty or so tabs
of online dating websites
and surveys are open;

Potential partners
profiles preferred;

and plan B's
starred and bookmarked,
cause you never know.

That special someone
is out there.

It's attempt,

after attempt,

until you get it right.

The whiteness of pearl
The glossiness of gold
See the richness of girl
From me walking away

Feel the warmth of her slap
Sense the sound of her thrash
See the rudeness of the girl
who is walking away

She say “I love your honesty”
I know honesty the best policy
Why is she so lunatic,
who is walking away?

She asked me for date
She was in shopaholic state
Guess the stubbornness of the lunatic
Who calls me miser again

Her gold bracelet not faked
But her sympathy is baked
It’s the attitude of the girl
That is baking that cake
Boy becoming single
Hardly changes the weeks
But the girl who left him
Tails a queue of pervert geeks

Oh come on my freakin brain
Just split out the stupid pain
See the hot figure of the new chick
Who’s walking on my way

I'm a human of the contemporary times
A millennial, part of Generation Y
A digital native in shrink wrap
An open minded, wide eyed, big mouthed wind tunnel

A genetic, mathematical, anatomic error
I'm souped up and decked out
I'm high maintenance with low standards
My humor is low brow, my expectations are nonexistent
I see the negatives as positive
I see the positives as negative
I think in subjective and objectives
I'm on the web
But off the grid

My pockets full
But my wallets empty

I'm over educated
But underemployed
I'm overworked
But under paid

I'm a bisexual, bipolar by product of society
I'm a hardworking, dedicated procrastinator
I'm an inarticulate fat head who isn't afraid to speak his mind
I'm a cold hearted hothead
I can hear, some times I don't listen
I'm clean and polished to get my hands *****
I work my fingers to the bone
Then cross them in hope of better tomorrow
And knock on wood until my knuckles bleed

You can check my Facebook profile
Read my Tweets
Scroll through my Instagram
Send me a Snapchat
And you can kiss my ***
I'm non-toxic
I'm irreplaceable
I'm a rarity
I'm an oddity
I'm offbeat
Off centered
Off color
Off kilter
Out of tune
Out of my mind
Hypersensitive
Indifferent
Rude
Crude
And universally unacceptable

I'm wasting time
And taking up space
But I'm living it up
I won't die down
I'm two steps ahead
I'm left behind
Coasting on thin ice
Walking the edge
Pushing the limit
And taking a nap
I'm greedy
I'm *****
I'm lazy
I'm angry
I'm cocky
I'm envious
And I'm
Not sorry

I like laying low
I love being high
I don't want to be a stick in the mud so I get ******
I'm a street smart *******
I'm book smart dumb ****
I'm an eloquent gutter mouth
I speak in
****** vernacular
Passionate profanity
Cynical sarcasm
And choleric curses
I have criminal ties
And it suites me
I'm a ball hogging, showboating team player
I'm a devoted alcoholic
I'm a thrifty shopaholic
I'm in school
But out to lunch

I've got friends
I've got enemies
I've got my family
And I've got problems
I hear voices in my head
I see things that aren't there
I over look
Over analyze
And over think
I under cook
Under appreciate
And underestimate

I use my WiFi to listen to LoFi
I watch low quality television in Hi Def
I'm a bombastic contentious objector
Taken aback but forwardly thinking
In your face
Out of stock
Unisex
I get down
And get it up
I'm a low key middle man
Undeniable
Unlikable
But lovable
A grounded skyrocket
Detachable
Seasonal
Unflappable
An everlasting
Know nothing
Know it all
I'm a egg-headed basket case
I'm a real heel
A loafer
I got the boot
Because he couldn't afford to live in a shoe
Or the box it came in
I'm broke
I'm busted
Discussed
Disgusted
But I loved
I care
I help
I laugh
I try
I cry

I'm on the short bus for the long haul
I have no money but I always got my two cents
I'm good with secrets
I'm bad with numbers
And good with money
I'm bad with people
But yet they love me
I'm unbiased
Tolerant
And impatient
I'm abstract
I'm avant garde
I like violent ***
With volatile love
I like pornographic snapshots
******* ******* motion pictures
Live action lust
But nothing beats my meat like the real thing

I shop at second rate super markets
First rate second hand stores
I'm on cruise control in the fast lane
I'm double parked
I've been traumatized
Dramatized
Hospitalized
Ostracized
Demoralized
Desens­itized
Exorcised
And I've had my toes stepped on

I was a premeditated mistake
A failed abhorrent abortion
Vaccinated
Alienated
Regulated
And always medicated
I have a an attention span an inch wide
But, I'm real
I'm honest
I'm kind
I go hard
But  take it easy
I'm always slick
But never ******

Wheeling and dealing
Clipping and stealing
Lending and giving
Living and breathing

I think this one's a keeper
You've all dug me a little deeper
Hope you enjoyed my veracity
Because this poem is completely me

The clock was bound to strike midnight
This I already knew.
But I lost track of time,
And I stayed searching for my shoe.

It's like I was playing tug of war with a cowboy
I just really didn't have a chance.
I might as well have been doing the tango,
During a western square dance.

As soon as I tried to walk away,
The cowboy was up in arms.
He lassoed the rope around my waist,
And I heard the shrill of alarms.

Yet I still let him reel me in,
Like a fish caught in a net
I laid all my chips down and out,
Knowing I was loosing the bet.

I joined his game freely,
With my whole army down.
I had no back up at all.
A shopaholic out on the town.

And now I'm all torn up
Cause he's done and had his way.
And with a tip of his hat,
This cowboy's said good day.

He's ridden off into the sunset
And I've watched him disappear.

And I'm the cut up fragments of an unwanted ****
That the gardener tore up with his sheers.

"Do you believe in love?"

she shook her head.

"Well, you know what love does to people—destruction," she whispered quietly.

his astonished eyes stared at her with wonder and confusion.

"Being in love means you'd be willing to sacrifice and risk everything for it; or even worse, fight against anything that against it. All my life, I only witnessed the kind of love that ruin one another."

"Look at Bonnie and Clyde. Look at ******'s love for his Arya race. Look at Confessions of a Shopaholic. Look at Gollum. There's a thin line between obsession and love, and sometimes you can't tell which one is which."

her eyes looked far across the city; as if she was longing for something. perhaps, he thought, it's true that woman is an open book, it's just most men don't read and it's written in ancient Greek.

"But how about your Mom? How about the owner of animal shelter? How about the Environmentalist? How about the firefighters and crisis call center officers?" he responded.

and in that very moment, she knew she was in safe hands.

I'm angry because my wife turned out to be a shopaholic ****.
She thinks she owns me just because her name is tattooed on my ****.
Even though I'm a poor man, my wife believes in living large.
My credit cards are maxed out because of what she's charged.
I go hungry while she and her lovers go to five star restaurants and order caviar.
I got my *** kicked when I tried to stop two large men from repossessing my car.
She brings her lovers to my house, the ***** doesn't even try to be discreet.
I'm about to pass out because for the last four days, I've had nothing to eat.
I just knocked her out, put her in a crate and mailed her to Japan.
I'm doing a terrible thing to the Japanese but at least I'm a free man.
I don't have to worry about her returning and going berserk.
She'll be stuck in Japan because she's too **** lazy to work.
My hair has turned solid gray because of what she did to me.
I may look like an eighty year old but I'm so happy to be free.