"sheilded" poems
The malignant light blinds me into a drunken haze, intoxicating my toes until my body begins to dance, thoughtlessly
Eyes closed, arms open, godly, peaceful, strong
Why doesn't everyone raise their arms to the grateful sky and soak in the golden bath of golden sun, to feel for once in their lives golden
Why do I seem alone in my gentle ****** curve while they seem bland and gray, straight lined lips across their face, a line of soldiers, unforgiving and unbreakable.
Why do I only feel joy?
Thoughts shoot through me like tommy gun bullets through the streets of old Chicago, covered in hot blood, hot money, and hot nights. Drugs in my veins, matches in my pockets, all eyes on me and my mafia heart raising a pistol to my brain and conquering its control.
Baby I like it, the way I move through the floor, seeing the monsters that weren’t there before, descending into maniacal darkness unknown, smiling while I’m screaming, never alone
Sunshine, you are mine, my arms coddle you close, the sunshine endlessly streaming through my fingertips, a buzzing crescendo of ecstasy. You are all mine. This perfect heart contained in the cavity of this body overbeats, skipping steps, tumbling forward, 800 miles per hour, too fast to be caught by the blue-sheilded men who wish to stop it. Stop this heart and stop the world, for it is its red hot core.
Pompous, conceited, it paints itself across my soul, yet I cannot contain what my emotions do, a little twisted, a little crazy, a little unwell.
And then I crash again.
Jun 2, 2013
Jun 2, 2013 at 6:57 PM UTC
Their heads bent low, they slept
Through wind, rain and hail.
Ice bombarding their delicate petal
Sheilded like a fragile veil.
But this veil is tough and robust
Red poppies dot the sky line
Like true grit like a magnificent statue
***** long standing and very fine.
Across ploughed earth on the horizon
Across vale, parks and the hedge row
On dry sand on the beaches
and on the British lawn that we mow.
They wave their orange heads
we're here and nowhere we shall go
Because we are here to stay; the Poppy
Scatter their seeds and we shall sow.
Jun 3, 2015
Jun 3, 2015 at 1:18 PM UTC
This morning, it rains
immitating last night's emotional forcast
how pathetic
This morning, the ground is wet
yet I can't shake this dry feeling I woke up to
isn't rain supposed to nourish life?
This morning my breakfast is a sugary Kelloggs cereal
but my mouth still tastes bitter from yesterday's words
This morning, I watch children's cartoons instead of the news
Because I'm done with grown ups, with their tragedy and bad weather
Reality destroys the good in the good morning show
This morning, I don't want to go out
Despite that, I sit on this almost empty bus that brings me out into the world
This morning, I wish that my umbrella sheilded me from the negative thoughts that rain down on my head,
and soak my scalp
I don't like isolation but I can't risk exposure
because when the photo is overexposed,
you lose the darkness as well as the photograph.
Which I don't think is a very fair trade...
But this morning, I come to realize peace in the rain,
a cleansing, calm, new beginning
I learn to listen to the pitter patter, which echos my heart beat
And though nothing feels fair, and I feel like I'm drowning
I know the rain will never consume me
So I'll dance in the showers,
and when the waters flood up all around me I will swim
like I'm back in my favourite version of summer
Rain, rain, don't go away
somebody needed you
Dec 19, 2014
Dec 19, 2014 at 11:29 PM UTC
There lives in this world a flame
It burns with a wild and free spirit
But with grace and gentleness
Captivating, beauty personified
It doesn't roar but it purrs
My life was blessed to have been touched by its soul
When the world saw to test my body and break my will
The flame would comfort, caress and embrace me
No matter the trials I faced it's warmth would empower me
If I was far from home it would guide back to its love
In my arrogance I forgot to tend the flame
It needed fuel to burn so bright
Compassion, Understanding and a foundation
Without these a gap began to form between us
Now it caresses and comforts someone else
And I am left alone in the never ending dark
A void and dessolate dark
Where I have no protection from harsh realities and demons
What was once majestic fire has manifested itself nightmares
I can still sense the flicker of the flame
Dancing its delicate dance with him
Closing my eyes I reach out to it
But the very force that once sheilded me from hurt
Becomes the very impliment to inflict it
Burning and scolding with a fury to match its beauty
Every lash feels like my death coil
But still I reach out
Hoping, praying that I will be once again envolpoed in its refuge
I know it is through my own carelessness
That my hands are covered in scars
But still I reach out
When I ask myself if should continue, all I can answer is
I regret my failure
I regret that I only have two hands to butcher
Jun 29, 2011
Jun 29, 2011 at 12:42 PM UTC
I brushed the silver hair from your face,
Kissing the tears away, as they streamed down your cheek.
" Hold your hand in mine doll, we will be alright."
We turned away, watching in the rearview, as years of memories faded out of sight.
All the mountains we climbed and all the fires we prevented,
Every chapter that opened, as the previous one ended.
We fought many battles and o b overcame many struggles to stand where we stood yesterday.
But all the years of fighting arent worth much on paper today.
"We may have lost the four walls that once protected our necks from the wind,
We may have lost the roof that sheilded us from the rain overhead.
But darling, I still have your back and you still have my heart.
Together that gives us somewhere new to start."
Just as I spoke those words a familiar, dust covered book struck my eye.
I reached down into the box of old records and papers bringing the book into the light.
The words on the front stole my breath as i read…
I passed the forgotten pages off into your hands
And with a deep breath you blew away the dust
Reavealing the words we once said.
"I got your back, you got my heart girl.
Whatever struggle has us searching,
These pages hold the truth.
A reflection of our love that conquered all and stood true."
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 8:55 AM UTC
Softly whispering nothings from each of his lips,
He promised he would cure the hurt,
And gave her his heart, which caused her alert.
In reply to his gift, the girl backed away,
"*For no one has lived here,
Not even for a day,
No one can break this,
And that's why I can't stay*"
He poured out 'I love you's
and wished for one kiss,
but the girl had already run,
leaving behind the bliss.
For years he tried to catch her,
Only to watch her scrape her knees,
If she only knew,
He held everything she needs.
For him to understand the feeling,
Of falling without falling at all,
is complicated and terrifying,
For running is what she knows, and it's all she can recall.
"*Please don't mind me,
I'll be going on my way,
I know I will never see you,
Beyond the dreams I can't keep at bay*."
He begged for her hand,
He promised the sky,
He wanted this girl,
She was the apple to his eye.
*I cannot keep running,
I cannot keep fleeing from your face,
I cannot keep pretending,
I didn't want that place*
She'll wish she wasn't suffering,
from missing out on what's real,
and he'll go on believing,
her heart will always be sealed.
"*Hurt is all I can offer,
Because I live in great fear,
that someday we'll have wrecked our perfect paradise,
and someday we won't be able to heal*."
She'll give an excuse for every attempt,
Of love he tried sheding,
From the deepest of depths.
She's sheilded herself,
Cold, bare, alone.
And the boy has stopped waiting,
For his heart to come home.
Jan 27, 2011
Jan 27, 2011 at 2:52 AM UTC
Clouds of turmoil roll
As a heart unfolds and flows
One to love and hold
One with finance and goals
But whom shall hold my soul
The clouds of turmoil roll
One love so young and bold
With mutton chops and smile upon his brow
Eyes that glisten with words unspoken
Then the clouds they roll
One so sheilded by a wall of pain
Of a time so lost in age
So broken worn and tired
Eyes that seen a lifetime lost
Without a love or queen
Again the clouds they roll
Shatters my heart and maybe my soul
To love them both or null
The clouds of turmoil slowy roll
Jun 3, 2015
Jun 3, 2015 at 11:18 PM UTC
There is an elderly couple
Across from us at Max's
Completely lost in each others eyes
Seperate from the world
Sheilded from the average pains of life
Because they have each other
And the joy that eminates from them
Could overwhelm this entire place
Yet, for me
Is bittersweet
Their joy forces me to think of you
Sitting just beyond my grasp
Eyes dancing in the candlelight
Skin glowing
Mouth in a continual flux of speech and consumption
Watching you it is ever apparent to me
You and I
We
Could never be them
However long we tried
Our chemistry will fade
To be replaced with emptiness
For now
We'll enjoy this
My abandon is not yet an option
So I watch you
Gazing at me
And I can't help but laugh
You'll never see it coming
Feb 1, 2013
Feb 1, 2013 at 9:13 PM UTC
Slowly a sense of purpose returns
And hovers just out of reach
Shrouded in the darkness of this womb
Encrypted and encoded to the point
I may never decipher the meaning
So that my destiny is to invent new ways
Of keeping the disappointment from being devastating
Like it was the last time
And the time before that
And the time before that
And especially the time before that
To live on the hope of love in the next life
Knowing full well any love I experience
Given or taken
Is sheilded and corrupt
Through no fault of my own
It was purged along with my youth
By circumstances
Beyond my control
Aug 1, 2015
Aug 1, 2015 at 12:55 AM UTC
Looking at old messages
Smiles scamper across my
blank canvas face.
They bring back memories
from that time you held me
out in your front yard
and sheilded me from my monsters
And how every time you kiss me
I feel infinite.
Like the stars that are sprinkled in your eyes
and shine when you sing
with your beautiful voice.
Sing to me baby.
Lull me to sleep with your little piece of heaven.
So that I can awaken to the serene look
on your face when you sleep.
Every step you take is felt on my heart
you're like a circus acrobat
tightrope my heartstrings
baby don't fall; It's deep down there.
Fill me up with your laugh.
Make me feel whole
and i'll be your foundation.
Feb 24, 2014
Feb 24, 2014 at 1:53 PM UTC
Dark and terrible sounds.
A frightened hear that pounds.
He enters the room with red eyed and a dark look.
His icey glare bores into her like a rusty hook.
She closes her eyes.
Her eyes water and she cries.
"Get out here!" he comands.
She steps up with fear.
Her face is sheilded with her hands.
He smacks her.
He says if it weren't for her there wouldn't be any problems.
If there are any though, it's because of him.
She wishes he were gone for another hour.
Though he loves her he treats her like a rag doll.
From what he's done to herher face may apaul.
That las blow to the face made her fall.
The angels witness this and end her sorrow with a bow.
Stop abuse...
Mar 12, 2014
Mar 12, 2014 at 10:04 AM UTC
*over the shoulder,
sheilded by his shadow,
or clouded he is
trying to look into the future,
the games of the old
betting one's life
for gold and wine
robes of honor
on the counsel of the wise
within the heart
a pact of a brotherhood
on a climb to greatness,
a battle roaming
against the world
but now seeming,
two steps behind
so he walks, silently,
in the applause of his twin's success*
Oct 31, 2016
Oct 31, 2016 at 2:55 PM UTC