"selfhate" poems
Take off my lipstick
It makes me feel slutty
Rub off my eyeliner
Ill never be pretty
Change into pajamas
And then lay in bed
Pretend your cuddling with me
You cant take back the words you said
Those ugly words hurt
And they proved me right
Im not special just like I thought
But it still hurts that you want me out of your sight
Will i ever get to know
What about me is so bad
I try my best at everything
Is it cause im easily sad?
You think I dont know all my flaws?
They repeat in my head all the time
So you dont have to point them out
Id be lying if I said I was fine
Nov 23, 2014
Nov 23, 2014 at 1:53 PM UTC
Staring at my wall while feeling my pillow becoming a puddle of all the feelings i can't verbalize. They are always there, tearing me down from the inside and out
- as a reflection I leave the scars from my heart on my surface.
It's a cry for help.
I am worthless.
I am nothing.
They pretend to care, they don't think i know, but I do. Because every day I am pretending to smile.
Making it seem like I want this life.
But i know that it's only a matter of time, before my inner demons takes over my body to make this unbearable pain end
Oct 29, 2018
Oct 29, 2018 at 4:02 AM UTC
I hate how I can remember every little detail. That makes me obsessive…doesn’t it? That’s one thing I don’t understand about our society; we’re always trying to be normal. We want…confidence for example. We want confidence and if we don’t have any we automatically have selfhate problems, but if we have it we become obsessed. Does anyone here really know the true definition of obsessed? Because I would really like to know, really. Alright, then answer me this, why is it always negatively understood? Is it all that bad that I know the exact moment when she is going to fix the undone bow on her left shoe because I can see how it has been eating her up inside for the last five minutes? But, she would never in a million years stop her speech to us to fix the undone bow on her left shoe. Is it all that bad that I know that she has been wearing those shoes for the past thirteen days and the bow came undone on the third? I know that she has a freckle right on her right jawline even though it’s small and not that noticeable at all. But, I noticed it. That makes me a freak, doesn’t it? And in addition to that, I am completely aware of her breath and the amount of time it takes for her to breathe in from her great, pretty nose and breathe out once again. I am completely aware of the way she always picks at her medium-length oval squared nails when she talks. I am aware that she wears two rings on her right hand, one on her middle finger, one on her ring. I know that she swears quite frequent actually, but catches herself every now and then replacing the cuss with a letter. You know something, I may be obsessed. I may be a freak and I may be crazy. But, no one else in this world has the privilege of knowing this woman or appreciating her as I do. Because no one ever took the time to notice the undone bow on her left shoe.
Dec 17, 2012
Dec 17, 2012 at 7:34 PM UTC
I refuse to take antidepressants
I refuse to be who I'm not
I'm not a happy person who wants nothing but joy
I am a person of selfhate
That's just me and I'm not going to be a fake
Jul 5, 2015
Jul 5, 2015 at 11:32 AM UTC
I felt the earth bring me to life
rooted from the ground up
nourished in soil that was rich
but the earth has now brought me down
and my life is a tundra
because I'm alone
I am without a person to turn to and
it aches
I'm sorry that I'm mean
and I'm sorry that I'm full of problems
but I'm not sorry for everything I have given
to you
to everyone
how could an earth so great
pull me down to a level
of sadness and despair
I'm alone
and it's my fault
there's only one person to hate
and it's myself
Apr 14, 2014
Apr 14, 2014 at 4:28 PM UTC
By Arcassin Burnham
Screaming from the shadows hoping somebody hears ya,
Even though nobody cares to notice ya,
Mindful eyes get left dry but they fall down on ya,
There's no secret to your flaws cause they're exposing ya,
I see the fire in your eyes , you're a tough one,
The cookies don't crumble here but others try to persuade the weak,
Reavaluating life choices and separating the good friends from
The bad friends knowing they all despise ya,
Here! You help me with this one thing and I'll promise you won't
Ever have to see me again , talking with everybody,
So you don't have to live with so much selfhate and doubt in ya,
You're strong,
I'm proud of ya,
You usually don't talk too much,
But out of these wannabes, you're a different breed,
With situations in life that'll make you hang yourself then kick over
The chair if you need,
But don't do that please.
Jan 5, 2017
Jan 5, 2017 at 11:15 AM UTC
I can't feel the same,
You came and forced your hate
Down my throat,
In my face.
I can't feel the same,
You want me to suffer,
So clearly and obviously,
While glorifying yourself as a deity.
I can't feel the same,
With years of regret and selfhate,
Being reopened and wounded,
Repeatedly again and again.
I can't feel the same,
When you stripped me of safety,
Security, love and peace.
You preach what you hate.
I can't feel the same,
I will never feel that way.
You've shattered my glass inner,
With a lack of mercy or empathy.
She can't feel the same,
Yet you'd use that as a way,
To justify your pain and hurting me
Just the same.
Apr 27, 2020
Apr 27, 2020 at 11:05 AM UTC
Ive come to face my insecurities
No one will use them again against me
Ive walked the path of selfhate
Ive looked at my once pitifull reflect
And ive grown from them
I have come to accept
No longer will my power
Be taken again from me
By those whom show no sympathy
I was once drenched in regret
I had been confronted by it
Yet now i proclaim
That i need no pity
Nor fake empathy
I have become the very essence
I thought i would never be
Now i hold my cards
I decide what i play and
What i withold
And ive learned to not
Give myself away anymore
The one whom will bare the shame
Wont be me after all
I have been reborn
I have made my peace
These chains once strong
Cannot bind me again
I have heard the call:
Be steadfast and at ease
Do not settle for being defeat
Now you have received
The gift of being set free-
No one nor nothing will get to me
I have embraced with self acceptance
I have welcomed and deflect my
Faults and shortcomings
I have become the victor
Discarded the victim mentality
Revenge is when you do
What youve planned
Despite setbacks
Only i have the power
Over how much i let be
And this is my warrior outcry
I will triumph
And
Succeed
Oct 15, 2021
Oct 15, 2021 at 12:03 PM UTC