"selfharm" poems
Why do we enjoy
Breaking our hearts so much?
We share images of terror
From the other side of this world
Then call it ‘beautiful’
We listen to music
That tears our soul to pieces
We watch movies
That we know will end in tears
But most importantly
We fall in love
Like it’s not the number one cause for broken hearts.
Feb 16, 2015
Feb 16, 2015 at 8:06 AM UTC
Summer always was my trigger season
the time were always everything would change
my heart got broken more than once this year
every time you made me feel worthless another piece broke
this cruel summer
I have cried over everything that ever happened to us
I have died about everything that ever happend to me
I have learned how much my own happiness means to me
and that the happiness I always saw in us was dead
loving you was like selfharm,
I know how bad it was and still I could never leave
I needed you to leave first so I could see how much it changed me
the secret sharing stopped, you weren't my favourite person anymore
I wasn't my favourite person anymore
this summer everything changed
I've learned my first crush will be nothing than just a teenage crush
and that it's okay to cry over someone who isn't good for you
this summer I learned it's okay to feel totally ****** up
and that feeling like you are 16 again is totally fine
there is this new someone with beautiful rare eyes and an insanely beautiful smile who I can share my secrets with and be myself with
it's crazy how I can feel more loved and more special with you
you learned me
I am not too much and I deserve to be loved for everything that is me
Aug 26, 2019
Aug 26, 2019 at 11:30 AM UTC
last year
i promised myself that i would never be sad anymore.
but boy did i break that promise
i sunk back into anorexia
i relapsed to selfharm
i became suicidal
but once again i promised myself to be happy.
but everytime relapses came faster
and they were a lot stronger
last week i made the same promise.
and here i am in my bed
writing the same suicide notes over and over again
happiness just isn't for me
Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015 at 12:10 PM UTC
red wrists,
fresh blood.
God won't be able
to save everyone.
Jan 11, 2014
Jan 11, 2014 at 10:33 PM UTC
i held an old friend to my wrist tonight
panicked and unable to breath
a mess of sickening sobs
he pressed down against me
holding me in a comforting embrace
the tears soon ceased
and again i could breath
beneath my wristwatch band
i’ll keep this forbidden secret
nobody can know but me
nobody can know but me.
— relapse
May 27, 2019
May 27, 2019 at 1:03 AM UTC
I don’t write the things I write because they sound beautiful, I write them because I actually feel and think them and this is my way of getting my thoughts out.
I am so sick of people glorifying selfharm and eating disorders… Honestly this site disgusts me at times, girls thinking they need to be troubled to fit in, that it is cool to stick your fingers in your throat and hug the toilet daily…
no no no
Having your thighs touch does not mean you are fat, it means that your hip structure is wider than others’.
Having scars does not mean you are mysterious and interesting, it means you have secrets, struggles you wanted to get out but couldn’t. Scars are nothing to be proud of, you may be proud of the fact that they are scars and not wounds anymore, but showing them off is just sick.
Please believe me that having a bigger size than your friend doesn’t make you fat, it makes you different. Which is good. There is no such thing as ugly or fat, there is only beauty which has a very wide definition. But the bigger part of that definition goes back to one thing; happiness.
stop glorifying troubles and making it seem cool to have them, you are not a freak if you feel happy, for one, you are lucky. Go ahead and feel happy. Let it scare you, smile so wide your cheeks hurt. That’s what it’s all about.
Dec 22, 2014
Dec 22, 2014 at 5:05 AM UTC
I feel numb as the blade skates across my skin,
I thank God my pain is gone again,
and when I'm done I hide away,
in my room is where I wish to stay,
I'm trapped in this room of darkness once more,
and all I have to do is walk through that door,
I want to get the help I need,
so to my mother I shall plead,
mom please take these razors away'
for home is where I wish to stay.
#me #razor-blades #cuts #scars
Oct 30, 2014
Oct 30, 2014 at 7:04 PM UTC
Scare crows sit at the fence of all my thoughts, picking out the dead things.
Mar 3, 2016
Mar 3, 2016 at 9:33 PM UTC
not a poem but something that have been stuck in my head since four years ago
High school was never easy.
Even the happiest person said that they have a bad memories in high school.
They get bullied
Some people would said that I should treasure everything that happened in my high school life.
I know. IVE TRIED SO HARD.
But I cant.
Folks in high school are weird.
Not that weird. They're...... 'weird'..
They're full with hatred
-full with negatives vibes
-full with idk why the heck they want to bad things to other people.
For me, I dont know.
I dont enjoy anything
Everything looks so depressing
Full of hate..
I tell you
I've been trying.
And its my fourth year now
Trying to be positive
Trying to understand everyone in the school
But
I think.. This things cant be help no more.
Everytime I walked into my school
My depression level increase to level 99
My loneliness can be felt..so clear
My self-esteem drop like hell
High school even teach me not to trust everyone.
-people always leave no matter what why when or how.
No wonder some people killed themself
-some kid do selfharm
-some students would ditch school
-some people do drugs just to run away from the school probs
Idk is it just me or what
Oh gosh.. I wish I can just scream at them in their face.
Oct 13, 2013
Oct 13, 2013 at 6:45 AM UTC
This pain
it hurts.
He tries
to stop.
His wrist
is scarred.
The screaming won't s t o p.
The pain
he tries
to drown it
away
with *****
and blood.
Don't worry!!
The suds
will wash
away the sins.
He will not stop.
His mom hitting him WON'T STOP
THIS PAIN IN HIS HEAD WON'T STOP
THESE STUPID SELF HARM THOUGHTS WON'T STOP.
But him continuing to live shall not stop.
Feb 12, 2019
Feb 12, 2019 at 1:03 PM UTC
5 years ago
A 13 year old girl awoke
Thinking that everything
Was as it always had been
But still, something didn't feel right
5 years ago
The shock of it all
Numbed the 13 year old girl
She walked around in a daze
Everyday was the same
5 years ago
The flowers piled up
The condolences overwhelmed
The 13 year old girl
Just wanted everything to stop
5 years ago
All the problems started
The selfharm; depression
The 13 year old girl
Turned to thoughts of letting go
5 years ago
On exactly this day
I, a 13 year old girl awoke
But everything was not okay
Nothing felt right
5 years later
An 18 year old girl
Grieves the loss of her mother
A 46 year old woman
Who died suddenly
Exactly 5 years ago
Aug 6, 2014
Aug 6, 2014 at 8:12 PM UTC
People always say
"Music keeps me sane."
But I don't get the random urge to kick those rocks when my phone is dead getting off the bus at 6pm,
The cry to selfharm is not only called through my mind
but when I'm listening to the screaming of friendly monsters
I run to the blade quicker.
Music keeps me insane.
Nov 4, 2015
Nov 4, 2015 at 10:25 PM UTC
You told me you loved me
As much as there were stars in the sky
Then you shattered my heart into twice as many pieces
You always warned me
About the dangers of selfharm
Because you had been there,
Yet now;
You are the one who causes me to pick up the blade.
And when you promised
Oh so many times
That you wouldn't,
Couldn't leave me
I actually began to believe you.
It was the start of my insanity.
We had plans to move South
Start a life together
Start a family together.
The only thing we started together in the end
Was my slow descent to insanity through depression.
How is it possibly
To completely loathe the person
Whom I love more than life itself?
Although I suppose it wouldn't be too difficult,
After all,
I hate my life so much I'd end it in the blink of an eye.
Jun 11, 2014
Jun 11, 2014 at 12:31 PM UTC
I really hate when my family makes suicide and Selfharm jokes. It really hurts me.... Now I can't stop thinking about hurting myself.........
Sep 20, 2015
Sep 20, 2015 at 4:32 PM UTC
CUTTING THE TIES THAT BIND
So I cut myself with a knife
just to see if I can still feel anything in this pathetic life
But I feel nothing at all
as I watch my crimson blood fall
I score my skin, deeper and deeper, push the knife in
nothing..... not even a sting...absolutely nothing
I frantically seek a virginal place I can carve, cut away my hate
self loathing, disgust, as I look at myself, what a ******* state
Waiting to faint, as my blood seeps and escapes
but as if mocking me, I have to wait
relief comes at a price, a deadly cost
and reminds me of all that i've lost
tired and sleepy, waiting for death to collect me
I've planned for no one to save me, finally be free
one last slice, just to ensure
deep across artery, my blood pumps no more
My Journey Through Madness
#illness #self-harm #selfharm #mentalhealth
Sep 23, 2016
Sep 23, 2016 at 2:18 PM UTC
By seven I knew I was different
By eight I thought I was weird
By nine I thought I was fat
By ten I thought I was ugly
By eleven I started to hate myself
By twelve I thought I shouldn't exist
By thirteen I wanted to die
By fourteen I began to selfharm
By fifteen I planned my death
By sixteen I was long gone
Sep 14, 2015
Sep 14, 2015 at 10:12 PM UTC
3 AM
Knows my deepest thoughts
3 AM
Sees me when I cry
3 AM
Knows that I selfharm
3 AM
Sees me sleepless
3 AM
Knows all about me
Jul 10, 2015
Jul 10, 2015 at 3:12 PM UTC
I'm not good at being alone
Thoughts comes and hunts me
I'm getting miserable
Depression and selfharm
I'm not good at being social
Do they even want me around?
Just staying silence
Angst all over
I'm afraid of myself
How can it be?
Why can't I just relax
And be with my friends?
Who can teach me to live?
Teach me to do spontanious things!
Maybe I'm not build that way
I will never get free.
Nov 21, 2014
Nov 21, 2014 at 5:14 PM UTC
One of my co-workers has scars on her wrists, covered by tattoos that do no good to hide them.
Not if you know what to look for.
I know what to look for.
I wonder her past, the ghosts hiding under the beautiful face, the blonde hair with the pink strips, the smile.
I wonder if she had an abusive upbringing like I did. If, as a teenager, she hid against her door bringing a razor blade to ****** skin until the ghosts bled out.
I know what that's like.
I would never glorify selfharm, never wish upon anyone the hell of feeling the need to release your mental pain in a physical manifestation.
But the relief it gives me to know that I am not the only one hiding scars under tattooed skin and long pants...
The relief is enough to make me hug her at night.
Tell her I'm glad that I work with her.
She is 36, 15 years older than me.
But our souls seek each other out, the broken souls know other broken souls so well.
I am glad she survived her demons.
I'm glad I'm surviving mine.
Jul 17, 2015
Jul 17, 2015 at 1:20 PM UTC
there's this girl
she's never really had friends
bullied her whole life
never accepted for herself
people hated who she was
she learned to hate herself at such a young age
learned about selfharm
tried it, loved it
felt so good
to let out the pain
started drowning herself
slitting her wrists 'til she blacks out
starves herself to be skinny
all of this to be accepted
people take advantage of her kindness
use her as a rebound
trick her into loving them
then leave once they get what they want
that girl
she's me
Aug 26, 2018
Aug 26, 2018 at 5:59 PM UTC