May I not forget
The way skin feels
Beneath the wake of my hands
Smooth
Sympathetic to the touch
Rolling
Gliding
To the rythem I choose
My hands envelope you
causing parasympathetic response
Beneath my finger tips
Relaxing you to the fullest
A gift to me
a gift to you
Let me feel
Let me give
let me love
May I not forget
The way skin feels
Beneath the wake of my hands

I'm writing the story of my life,
  and I'm not letting anyone hold the pen.
      The pen is mightier than the sword.
    I'll write out all my pain, damage, fear.
                I'll shoot for the moon,
     even if I miss I'll land among the stars.
  They all told me that because of my past,
     I could never become anything great,
              that I'd never have success,
                  never be good enough,
   that what they did to me was my fault.
                   I wanted to grow up.
                          I finally did.
                 I excaped their torture.
            Now, I keep writing my story.
             Write. Edit. Change. Repeat.
        I'm not even completely grown up.
                                 2 years.
                 But it's happening now...
         I've started toa ture into an adult.
                     Frankly, I'm scared.
           I'm not exactly sure what to do.
      I'm taking over sooner than planned,
              I'm working a real job now,
      I'm responsible for sisters well being.
                       I just don't know.
                          But that's ok.
        I have my faith and I have my pen.
I don't want to miss out on the people who
                have me mesmerised...
But how can I captivate them and weave
                       them a story?
       I don't know. I don't know if I can.
      My rythem and rhyme is so unique,
          there's no hope in attempting
     to intertwine another beautiful soul.
           I'm sorry. I just don't know.
                      All I do know is
      The pen is mightier than the sword.

His eyes are woven like dreamcatchers
within them lay my deepest desires
hidden messages and captivating images
The rythem of his heart
is like the ****** of my favorite song
The kind of note that leaves an impact
on the soul

As I sit here listening to these lyrics
I can feel you in my heart
Like the blood flowing through my veins

As I sit here listening to these lyrics
I can see your beauty shining in front of me
Like the glorious rays from the sun

As I sit here listening to these lyrics
I can feel your lips upon mine
Sweeter than the most delectable chocolate in the world

As i sit here listening to these lyrics
I can smell you wonderful scent
Like the fragrance drifting from spring flowers

As I sit here listening to these lyrics
I can hear two hearts beating in perfect rythem
Like the soothing melody of angles singing

As I sit here listening to these lyrics
I dream of you and me being together
A journey of endless love lasting forever and alway

Tick tock
Time is running out
What are you doing you worthless ****?

Tick tock
Goes the clock
Invading your dreams

Tick tock
No time left
Your failours are done and complete

Tick tock
Tick tock
TICK TOCK

The rythem burning through my mind

Tick ******* tock
Your time is over

I love how playing " house" wasn't just a game we played in my generation. Like the king of Thebes , Oedipus who unwittingly killed his father and married his mother. It reminds me that , even before slavery exisisted people found love in all the wrong places. But I have to remember mortals have iniquity too . I love dressing up around midnight when all the children are inside and the blood ******* men are out . I call them night crawlers.

I love doing laundry after a long night out , changing my bed sheets to fresh ones covering up the aroma of devilish sins . I love the brisk walks back home ,  unable to afford catching the bus because I spent my last on hard liqiour that only benefits the darkest souls . So you walk . Finally reaching your destination you stop and stare at the darken house . Taking your time to turn on lights , not wanting to look in the mirror , flashbacks of what had happen on your night out , triggering an asthma attack as if someone was gripping you by your neck and provoking you to be his ***** ****. His **** .

Getting a text saying "dress **** , it's girls night out." So you slip on your red dress , spike heels , adding glitter to your chest . Could've put on something different but wanting to play the devil advocates and be anything but Christian . Swaying my hips from left in right hypnotizing everyone. Dancing to the rythem of the song , attempting to unbutton the buttons off every men pants. Spraying my best perfum on to make the legs off every man buckle , making him uncomfortable and having to readjust himself . Pouring another shot only to become more aroused , looking at the clock 12:32 . Twelve representing the number of *** smacks you we're given and thirty two was the page number of your favorite *** position in coma sutra

"Eres hermosa pero haces cosas feas" you are beautiful but you do ugly things . A Swedish and Puerto Rican woman told me .

I let those words sink in as if I was trying to remember and meditate on it .Suddenly I felt sick to my stomach , instead of rushing to the bathroom I ordered a double shot of 1800 taking it to the head , closing my eyes as I let the warm hard liqiour go down my throat . Scared to open my eyes because when I came I was already filled with alcohol . They say when you drink everyone becomes your your friend , funny part is my friends handed me their belongings as they sashayed their way to the men's bathroom . Leaving me behind as the gentlemen left with a smirk on their face . God I hope they can aim .

See I'm 5'1 but my spike heels give me the confidence of a 5'9 woman . I don't see how women could dance the night away in heels and still be able to walk to their car .

If my great grandmother was to see me she'll rollover in her grave and beat me with bible scriptures .
Romans 3:23
23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
Romans 5:8
8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
I'm not perfect nor do I pretend to be . I'm like a grill that is being used over and over again on Fourth of July , that is being reused until broken . Not wanting to be fixed because your tired of the burning sensation that goes up into flames touched for the first time . Scared to call for help because my late night outing , drinking more shots than I should , waking up to loud snoring only to pull me close and call me "Athena " . The only man that should ever know me inside out is god because he helped create me . Not wanting him to smell dried candy kisses on my skin mistaken me for a pile of sins .

Thank god , thank god that my guardian angels Michael and Gabriel doesn't judge me for what I do in the back of cars and sometimes bedrooms . Thank god for placing friends in my life that knows more than what type of food I like or what to add to my liqiour to ease the burning sensation , thank god , for allowing the bus driver to pullover and ask me do I need a ride home because that brisk walk was gone trigger all the night crawlers . When I make it home I'm gonna slowly undress myself as if someone was in the room waiting to fill my canvas with warmth . No make up , no Jewry , no perfum , no red dress , and no spike heels . I wanna be naked and truthful . The naked truth is what I wanna call it .

I'm slowly finding my way back to god , crawling to him as if I was baby . Reminding myself in order to forgive you have to seek forgiveness and forgive yourself . I forgive myself from all those nights I put on my **** dress , spike heels , sweet perfum , an entertaining the bulging erections that didn't belong to me . I'm not their wife . I'm gonna stay at home and look up at my ceiling and smile at my guardian angels . My Angeles , my Angeles thank you for protecting me.

I see the wetness glistening from your slim body.
You have been away from me too long.
My memory of your sweetness needs no egging on.
I can not wait much longer, we need to be alone.
You know just what  I hunger. You sparkle in your ways.
You know just how to control the rythem. A little  give and take.
You fit so perfect in my hand, made just for me.
Come a little closer, stop teasing me.
My lips are so close to you, your sweetness I am about to taste.
Man there is nothing on this earth like a cold beer at the end of the day!

From the beginning I trusted you, but in end I rejected you
Because the demons inside shined bright in the night
Sadly, we only hung out at night...
When your world was already dizzy
Mine was too busy to understand the reasons why
So my mind decided that a marathon was stunning
I only thought of you but it managaed to keep running
In this case 28 k but seemed like 28 days
Becuase as you know you just dont run the race
Theres many days of planning and exercise just in case

Now, my heart beats out of rythem
Becuase of the precision of your desicion
Your words seemed kind but in my mind I knew that they hurt
Like you grabbed my heart, played with it, put it back and left it in parts
Since then my left atrium doesnt work
Its like a inncoent whale that was left to die in the beach dirt
And i was simply that... innocent dirt
What had I done previous to this that made you act outrageous?
But now I know your contagious
A disease that brings you one step closer death
But now im just once step closer to home I guess

Home.  A intanglment of feeling like the fibers in my sheets
I thought it was a place of love but then relized its just a place to meet
My mother was a weird one. Often pressing burdens on her son
A seperated family with nothing in commom is definatly more common then Nostradomeous
To say I love quotes would be close but theres some that make me simply choke
Remember when "like father like son" was an inpiration quote but for me its what kept me a float
On the sea of hatred with the destination of dope
Becuase of the words my mother chose, addiction would be my affliction
A state of pain my mother, father, sister and brother could not feel
Yes, this is the shittest deal, but look at me now
A person ontop with the world as my partner,
Ambition like a morning light because I had the will to fight
Only you can make a change your life, not your mother, drugs and neither your wife.

My heart is beating
Beating loud
Just not clear

My heart is beating
A steady beat
Yet it hurts

My heart is beating
Pumping blood through my veins
Just not enough

My heart is beating
Beating for the one I love
It just can't show her
                .......
My heart is no longer beating
No longer making a sound
It has lost its rythem
Now it is standing still
Blood now lays down in my veins

My heart has been broken
Broken by the one it truly loves

My heart is now dead in every way
Killed by the one that it loved

My Heart is faster
Anxious beat a disaster,
Tightness in the chest.

I think I am like fairy lights
With 10m of soul but only 1 that shines bright
Deciding carefully which parts of me
Make the up the world's display
I like to think the light I shine
Is all earned perfection and dainty smiles
As if the world would hate me
For letting go every once in a while
But really I am not naive enough
To believe the image I dream, is the image I show and
Honestly, I think it's better for the world to know
That the lights I emit flicker from time to time
So maybe I'll aspire to be seen as a human being
Break out from my hiding place of rythem and rhyme
And let the other 9m glow,
Even if only every once a while

Im in the arms of an Angel,
not for my eternal rest,
the heart beat of my Grandaughter
keeping a rythem on my chest.
Eyes that shine brightly,
new paths  to explore.
In the arms of my little Angel
I have alot to look forward.
Somewhere up in the Heavens,
a roll count is being  kept.
I am sure they will come up short one......
she's  cuddled on my chest.

Fleeting moments pass within the blink of an eye
The more you try to grasp the more time takes and robs you blind
I try to embrace the rapid fire but it burns my chest to ash
Watching as everything I've known drifts past
Out of reach and washed away with bleach
Till there's no color left
Only desperate breaths
and piercing silence
As if I've suffered some tragic death
To gain is to lose and to lose is to gain
But as a creature of routine I strain to maintain
Rythem
But the song is long gone
Now left with fragmented thoughts and a broken wardrum
Undone

Silents beats.
In rythem of slow dazed clock
Ticking back and forth.
As time frezzes
Every thing motion less
Nothing moving
Except tears with crystal blured reflection
In the gloomed dim sky
The cloock sticks the empty room that
Onced filled with light and life
Now laid the soul of silence to this room
And never had one
Voice
Ever to this room again
Not in
Every in life time
That rebon each year

The light of my life isn't a light
Not the sun
Not a lamp
The light of my life is different
Just different
My lights silhouette can not be distinguished
The mystery of it's feature lies in the hands of God
The feeling of it's hand is unknown to my skin
The flavor of it's lips unknown to my tongue
The insense of it's being is unknown to my senses
The rythem of it's heart is unknown to my audition
My light is not a light
A man
Who bestows the light in my life
Who destroys the darkness with his laughter
Who detaches the sadness with his words
Who strips the melancholy with his smile
My light does not glow
He shines
More than the sun
More than a lamp
He shines brighter than anything on earth
He Is The Beautiful Light Of My Life

My soundtrack. My life.
It's a broken record of simple delights.
The rythem of a bass that influences the patterns in my brain. The raining spring. And flowers sing. Story time? Just my mind. I thought I was cool this whole time. Wannabe hipster, party of me. So sick of this skin. Maybe rebuild it and start again. Fake plastic watering can. I keep tripping. Silver spinning. I keep day dreaming. Moonlit sky. The birds and beasts chirp and lie. I keep meeting people and don't know who you are. A name? A face? Make sure you look pretty. One day you'll be erased. Hooded soldier, hopeless wanderer. Blackened eyes. Can't believe their lies. You were right. I have no use. That day when you yelled and screamed, calling me worthless I believed in your words. Sadness turned to anger and bitter was the taste. I grew up real quick and faded into those ways. I can't keep this in. Emo poetry, where do I begin?

Cease thriving on these feelings,
Oh heart of mine.
Or at least bestow upon me a sign,
Where the stars shall align,
And lend reason to this rythem and rhyme,
Of things that only seem to waste my precious time.

Is love the only epiphany of your life,
Oh heart of mine?
Only moments ago we ran on grief and strife.
Must your coal black complexion distort to red at the thought of being a wife?
Does he even love you back? Or will more sorrow simply arise?

Heed the words I speak to you,
Oh heart of mine.
Do not turn your pigmintation to that pitiful crimson hue.
You act as though you're willing to be broken in two.
Tell these feelings adieu.
Do not let them ensue,
Lest you want to peg me with anguish through and through.
This is what I beg of you.

Lying here in pain, alone.
My mind has gone.
I want to be free,
Do you see a stonger person to be made of me?
There is nothing to gain,
So I'll hide behind the pillow to hide from the pain.
Because there is nothing to say,
I have long lost my way.
I was born meak and so I shall stay.
There is no way out,
From under this pain and doubt,
if I lay here I know,
There is nowhere to go but I will lay here and breathe to the rythem of the falling snow.
For the heart I once had and to the child forever dead,
I wish you eternal joy,
Even if it is just a personal ploy,
Time to get myself up to face another day.

Last but not lease this is my blatant descovery.

God is real because of what October the 31st have shown me.

I've been nuts that's what makes me a human being, cause when your not crazy they tell you stupid things.

I mean stupid things like the cartoon Mickey or yu-gi-oh you know it's there "card games"...

Psychics play the same game but I recognize that the weekend called it mind games.

If your not crazy they place things in your mental so you can become like a beat .. "Instrumental". M.J. Said it  a slave to the rythem babe.

I will not dance to the pattern that they want me to play we were made to sing and give praise not dance and not speak only if you were a puppet to what they say.

Dannnng..

Calm down zeal I believe your share to much without even knowing there doing,
I don't care I pray for you so you can be who God called you to be a Human BEING

finally! something nice!

a kid with a drum
a drunk leaving vender, paper bag in fist
with the sun setting on
a copper looking away
from the street girl in love with
her romance of the future
as he ducks down an alley, the wine is tipped back
washing the vocals of the midnight choirs only singer, who's listening to a rythem
growing fainter, as if tossled by a child, hurrying home,
his idle drum banging against his leg as he runs.

It's those eyes,  your lips.
The bridge of your nose.
The flow of your check as my fingers caress and slide.
It's the way you breathe.
the rise and fall of your chest.
The rythem of the beat.
it's the sigh from your lips
as I caress your side.
It's the stride in your step.
The pride in the wake of your emotion.
it's the roll of your eyes as my fingers find your inner thighs.
No more need to hide.
This roller coasters ****** hits down deep.
just breathe.

48Hours defined our time alone,     on a all time high we rythem to the blues of our everlasting song, we leave behind our families a we take off threw the breeze, the leather interial of your caddy messages my smooth mahongony skin, for the day light has come and we will soon be taking another dosage of this drug again.

Disointed words - rickety-
Fingers wrapped - around yellow
Start - stop rythem of thoghts
How tears - fall - like a leaky faucet

The music begins
Making me sway to its soft lullaby
I slip off my shoes and begin to dance
Led by my partner to the middle of the floor we begin a duet
The beat quickens and the rythem drums a tattoo on my heart as we swing around the room
Around and around until I forget where I am
Then the music slows and the violin strikes the last chord

I yearn for the feel of you passing thru my lips
My desire for your flavor that is souly yours
My desire for you reflects in my eyes
I look up to see your reaction
A quick in drawn breath  and the excitement on your face
lets me know your enjoyment
As I take all of you in
You pull me up to my fee away from my goal
of having your release
Pushing me to the floor you take me hard
Pinning my hands above my head
showing no mercy as i loose my control
arching my back cover in a dew from the release you gave me
begging for more you slow the rythem prolonging
this sensual torture beyond all imagination

The sadly wind is blowing
With the silent sky
The clouds are coming
Rythem of rains are falling
I'm lonely
With alone....
With the bone....
.
.
.
My heart is breaking
So tired of crying
Lord...i'm calling
Lord...i'm calling
I need Your help.....
I need Your help....

Please let me lose that rythem
When things don't rhyme and flow
I am not the tides
Shimmering in and out
I need to know you approve of me
And that I'm doing the right thing
When I step out of my comfort zone
Because here, I don't know the boundaries
That I really would like to comform to.
I know that learning from mistakes is good
But sometimes, with anxiety,
Making mistakes is devastating
So when I ask you to give me a direction,
Do not tell me it is up to me
Because I will cry
Failure is not an option
If we've still got
Death
And taxes
And death doesn't sound too desireable either
You are my mentors
So,
Show me how to *succeed