Looking in the mirror is like a death wish
A glimor of hope before the horrid thoughts cime floading in
Screaming at the top of their lungs.
And the tears rush to the surface as I pinch my skin
Grabbing it tight
Pulling at it with all my might
Wishing
Wanting for it all to dissapear just like myself
As i slowly turn and turn that small glimor of hope gone
Flushed away by the rotton words that captivate my body
Screamimg for me to

                     "STOP EATING"

I walk away woth a heavy heart sinking down to the lowest part of me
Hiding away frim anyone
Ignoring every word spoken to me.

My mind
My body
My whole being has been captured by those fithly words and throughts which are tormenting me and eating me alive
Without a word
Or
A thought i move on frim the plate of fruit and the bowl of chocolates
Swinging with a heart heavy,
Yet filled with nothing

I act like it has no effect on me
Like it doesnt hurt at all

You could say he hates her,

From the way she talks to him, how every rose is ****** at him thorns first - millions of little slashes - battle wounds of the everyman adding up day to day week to week year to year the river of blood leaks to the ocean big enough to drown them both.

He fires back though, and across the battlements of the dinner table sits the enemy shaking a half empty bottle of depression pills, basing how much happiness was left for the month off of the rattling of white capsules against the orange bottle.. She, how could she have ever given birth to him? Some might argue that was all she ever did for him, too preoccupied with her reflection to see the mirror image her son had become with his suken eyes, a rotton apple, a cyanide cynic at the ripe fresh age of fifteen.

So six months later when they both led the cavalry in charge for the umpteenth time throwing dagger words laced with poison aimed high at heads ducked below cover to a safe place (but of course there is no safe place),

Who would've thought when he told her to start taking her pills she'd take them all. Tip top of the bottle bottoms up for the bottle plain white capsules and blood red wine because when she goes out  she goes out like a lady.

Its a sad sight seeing all her family weep at her grave, cry true tears clear and pure. All her family but one, her beloved boy. How dry face and stone visage were oh so heart wrenching.

But perhaps worst of all, is that you could say he hates her even now

Dont compare your life
With mine with her
How could you dare
You think it was easier
i was a bad kid
Whi never had a stable home
Was molested, detested
Cuz I was too young to be left alone
Mistreated, beaten
but i was rotton
For no reason at all
13 yrs old forgotton
Juvenile hall
Very few loved me
Hated by all
Like i asked to be here
i made this call
Then when someone
Did have love for me
smiled at my success
She made sure i felt
Unwanted and a worthless mess
Even when she was given the tools
For her and I to make amends
She choose to toss them aside
like i was a means to an end
I couldnt of felt more abandoned
And so a wall was built
Of course i left
Why would i stay
So i could continue
To be treated this way
She didnt miss me at all
those were their best years
Everyone was so happy
When i wasnt there
Why do you think
I feel its better this way
When she died
All ties vanished away
I dont neeed her parasites
Take on her worries
Her problems
In this life.
If she did so right by you
Go   be    hurry
Do what you do
Im not sorry
For leaving that way
I will neber be back
There is no someday
Very few things
That were good
happened to me there
So for the life of me
I dont see how you compare
Also your father
Couldnt stand me
And nor i him
Like i needed
Another alcoholic screaming
His drunk slurs again
That ***** was crazy
If she thought it was happening
Thats why at 14 yrs old
Me and nana lived alone
just on the other side of town
Oh where was precious mother
no where i was found
Now think about that
And tell me how you compare
Cuz she didnt fall through
For a while ******* year
the only reason she knew
I was pregnant
Cuz she would gossip
With ******* who were ignorant
Not cuz she tried to be around
Ask our dear brother he will tell
how much effort she roused
Think i felt abandoned and alone
That poor kid oh my god
He was left with schizophrenic soul
Cuz it was too much for her
To be provided for on a silver platter
ridiculous and so low.
So dont come to me with your mess
Of how lessyou feel
Without me in your home
You dont know what your saying
Less then half my age
And trying to make me change
All cuz we came from the same hole.

Rollin,
         sticky.
the danky of danky,
takin nd start bakin,
  smell's like a pear fruity so fruity.
you just go bake it,
Inhale, enjoy. relax deploy..
stay lit stay fit, Keep open

eye's open -
    be loe
                 they might even glow ,
glossy and slow
                  they  sure will all  know. and point you to blame,
the roach coach came and taught you the game.
lend me your lighter to make this flame brighter
heat up this fire and help you get higher,
you're mouth's a bit sticky I bet it taste's icky,
doe's it look white?.  you'll sure be alright .,
nick name to the cotton dry mouth tastes like rotton,.
awh, don't say where you bought it or how you got it.
I will be busted and you,
just untrusted.....

jessica  *applegate

they might even glow ,
glossy and slow
                  they  sure will all  know. and point you to blame,
the roach coach came and taught you the game.
lend me your lighter to make this flame brighter
heat up this fire and help you get higher,
you're mouth's a bit sticky I bet it taste's icky,
doe's it look white?.  you'll sure be alright .,
nick name to the cotton dry mouth tastes like rotton,.
awh, don't say where you bought it or how you got it.
I will be busted and you,
just untrusted.....

jessica     *applegate

To the airy king
Subjects of perdition bow.
Breathing in their fate.

we are the underdogs of this era, the generation of incineration
lying in the gutter like a ******* ***** rotton pup
we are the hated of the created, a social distortion of abortion,
the shouldve been gotten rid of
make them regret, scream. Wreck, everything.

a ******* salute, paint the skies red
dilute the cries of the undead with one of your own. *******
*****, tease. lyin 'bout your insecurities. done with your demise, not down with your lies.
**** your vice. roll the dice, the odds are never in your favor

what a contradiction, lying in the ditch with your homies who said
"dudes, we'll run the world one day." swell, swollen eyes and blackened eyes, what the hell.
allies with the unforgiven of who've never done a thing wrong. neck wrung. on the front lines with punks with tarred lungs. smoke, smoke, everything up in smoke.

break martial law, get down on your knees and crawl toward unjustice and saw them to obliteration. ***** the nation. stumble with eyes wide  and watch the debris of your broken states crumble to the ground. make no sound. they know the noise of defeat. left foot, right. whos in control now.
the rebels live.
the rebels thrive.
we are alive.
rebels united.

So you want to look like a celeb?
Your teeth so bright but not into debt?
Well scrape back the enamal and watch what they can do
For a round trip to Turkey is the quick fix for you,
Waltzing the streets looking like the next Rylan
Still wearing the cheap snides and the push-bike you ride on,
As they scrape back your natural front covers
Stuck on caps to look like the perfect lover
But pre-warned by your annoying sensible brother,
And now it's starting to show its disorder.
No dentist will touch you with what you have left
That money you blew to just look like the best
Now rotton and hanging by a thread,
From that modern shiny smile that could hail down a cab
To looking like you've never had it so bad,
Be careful what you wish for and to mix with rest
Just don't consider anymore, from your eyes down to your breast.
You're beautiful just the way you are
Just get the dentist to scrape that bit off,
I think its a bit of rotton tar!

Turkey Teeth

JJB

In my dream
Am broken
My fleshes eaten
My body rotton
My bones taken
As ritual of token
With words unspoken
I broke through
Wide open
My leased body
In the ***** oven
Unworldly beings
Never ever seen
I was soon shaken
To waken
From a bad dream...

©sim