"restricting" poems
I am so close
to saying goodbye,
to being finished
because I can't
live anymore.
I walk about
with a smile on my face
while my insides are being
ripped apart,
with a mask so heavy
it encases my body
so densely and restricting
while withering away
whatever is left inside
slowly killing it.
Jan 24, 2015
Jan 24, 2015 at 8:37 PM UTC
I used to think that sadness was beautiful,
But what is the point of it all? We're supposed to be youthful!
They said time and time over that it would pass, but to be truthful:
The feeling and expressing pain or sorrow for sins, it's all we feel: ruthful
So in the end, what is the point of life at all?
When all we do is sit around and bawl,
"I just wanted to be pretty Cristi, just like a doll!"
But isn't it more important to be happy, above all?
All I have been feeling for the past couple of years is pain,
Even though all I have wrapped around my neck is a golden chain
Rather than his clenched fingers restricting against my jugular vein,
With a voice in the back of my mind reminding me of my engraved Mark of Cain,
It begs and exclaims, and it can't seem to remain restrained,
But to ease me of my pain, they'd say: "Here, have a glass of Champagne."
Can't you see what this mystery is doing to me?
I can't seem to break the shackles that would set me free,
All I'm reminded of is of my unfinished Master's Degree.
"Is that all that matters to you?!" I dare to plea,
"But what about my happiness, or my hemophilia b?!"
Their expressions are forever carved in my mind: dropped jaws and widened eyes,
"If it is such a sin to be happy, can't one consider the act of decriminalize?!"
They'd all put up such a convincing and eerie disguise
As if it would turn back the clock to avoid their end, their demise
But I could tell by their silenced, hushed lips and snake eyes:
My inquiry deserved a Nobel prize
What was it about my question that turned my loved ones against me?
They wouldn't dare turn their heads my way, they'd continue to sip on their black tea
As if I were a ghost, or some sort of banshee
The loss of my sanity is what they could foresee
-
Jun 23, 2014
Jun 23, 2014 at 12:41 PM UTC
Rage, relentless shackles tortuously restricting the beat of my sole drum
Wailing child, aged’s bell, muffled canine whimper beckon
Tempered resignation and guilt overwhelm anger, their bidding masters me
Unequivocal love, they want and need me, as I they
Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015 at 9:29 AM UTC
An imaginary but desirable sense of control
Created by the bully in my head
Screaming at me, pressuring me, hurting me
Encapsulating my mind as a second meninges.
Impossible to separate my true thoughts
From what it tells me,
My conscious mind is tied to a cinder block
And left to drown in its enticingly rough waves.
My physical being constantly changing with the tide
Unpredictable but regular,
Shallow but deep.
****** into its infinite black hole,
I am left feeling disgusted and ashamed
Of all that is me.
No longer am I able to decide the way in which
My needs are met-if in fact they are met.
As though I have DID, I am constantly bouncing
From alter to alter
Body to body.
Blinded from looking directly into its sun,
I am warmed and comforted by its rays
While reassured that my doubts are unwarranted.
If ever defied, it scolds and whips me,
Like a master to his slave,
A father to his child.
The welts and cuts, gratefully rip into my
Skin, muscle and bone –
Punishment for my wrongdoings and self.
I, immediately silenced
Remove myself from society,
Restricting contact, nourishment and emotions
To nil.
It is not until someone notices
The beginnings of an eternal invisibility,
That I am released and
Able to breathe in
The salty air of life.
Jun 20, 2012
Jun 20, 2012 at 9:29 PM UTC
Bonds formed bring about a great happiness never known and always unique then strife battles hard fought anger grow bond restricting cracking breaking held together by only the most fragile strand... Then like the art of kintsugi we fill the cracks with golden memories growing through the brutality of battle we learn about one another and ourselves filled to the brim with regret for our foolishness we last down the Axe working together to fix this fragile crack filling it ever so carefully with more and more golden memories stronger memories bond renewed stronger and with a devastating beauty unbeknownst to us the uniques that made it beautiful made it stronger than we thought possible forever we will remember our beautiful scar
Feb 18, 2016
Feb 18, 2016 at 7:59 PM UTC
There are different kinds
All the same
All different
Different sizes and colors
They make up parts of life
Soap bubbles
Cleaning, scrubbing
Washing dirt, grit
And all the bad
Away
Reflecting you
Your surroundings
In different colors
Different views
Word bubbles
Floating up from the heart
Trying to escape
Only a few make it
The rest
Broken inside
Choking you
Restricting you
Making you regret
Not opening your mouth
To let them out
The best kind of bubbles
Bubbles of laughter
Bubbles of joy
Bouncing out of your mouth
Tickling you until you let them out
The fun bubbles
That make that joy
Drawing the wand
Blowing the joy
Into the bubbles
Until they are ready
To go
And spread joy of their own
Bubbles reflect
Joy and sadness
The two polar opposites
That compliment each other
Completely
You cannot have one
Without the other
Sometimes the bubbles of joy
Will pop
Explode in your face
But you can take out your wand
And start all over again
Apr 26, 2016
Apr 26, 2016 at 8:33 PM UTC
People are ... Funny ... !?!
They Now ... make me laugh ...
You talk ...
They DON'T ... listen ... !?!
MP's ... keep restricting ...
IGNORANCE ... in people ...
has now become ... SICKENING ... !!!!!
Kinda gets me to ... " Thinking " .....................
What a ... CRAZY WORLD ... !!!!!!
Girls ... Loving girls ...
Men ... Killing men ... !!!
Abuse of our children ...
by some who ... Teach them ... ???
But ......
What about those ... ?
with ... Abusive children ... ?!?
Those who ... Don't Care ...
about those ... who ... Made Them ... !!!
Adults are now ...
being chased by ... Children ... ?!?
Teenagers ........
RAGE ... !!!!!!!
Their acts of ... Aggression ...
are now ... OFF THE GAUGE ... !!!!!
Words on ... This Page ...
are my feelings ... Today ...
What more can I say ... ?
I write things ... This Way ...
to avoid seeing life
behind bars ... in a cage ...
Seems like ...
... " End of Days " ...
is Not ... far away ... !!!
But Many ... DON'T LIKE ...
The things that I say ...
because .....
Things that I say ...
Reflect on ........................................
What's TRUE ... !!!!!
But Many think wrongness ...
is just .... TV News ....
But ....
" Some of it's " ..... True .......
and can happen to ... YOU ... !!!
So ....
What would you do ... ?
if ... Sadness and Misery ...
Tainted ... your view ... !?!
Probably ........
LOSE YOUR COOL ... !!!!!!!
Be an *** ...
or it's ... Mule ...
Give in ... to clues ...
that you ... HAVEN'T BEEN ... true ... !!!
True about ... " Things " ...
that ... Luxury brings ...
Like ... " Flash Golden Rings " ... !!!
or ... Diamonds that ... BLING ... !!!!!
Well ...
Here's the ... " Dilemma " ... ???
Life is for ... LIVING ...
but now we see ... KILLING ...
for ... Mobiles that ... " Ring " ... ?!?
or Jewellery that ... BLINGS ... !!!?!!!
So ....
What will you choose ... ?
to think you're a ... KING ... ?
cos' of ...
Your .... Diamond Ring .... ?
and .... wait for the ... KILLER ...
to come with ... " The Sting " ... !?!
Oh now ...
Just for you ladies ...
Let's ... " Rework " ... the scene ...
You've got to ... Realise ....
Luxury's ... for a ... " Queen " ...
But .....
to those who ... Don't have them ...
Your Bling ... is ... OBSCENE ... !!!!!!!!
Then YOU ...
like the ... Fellas' ...
Might find that ... " Your Dream " ...
is SHATTERED ... One Night ...
by a ... RUTHLESS ... " Street Team " ... !!!
I'm CHANGING ... like seasons ...
because of ... " These Reasons " ...
cos' actions ... some make ...
are Equal to ... TREASON ... !!!!!!!!
I REALLY ... am Dark ...
like that man ... Liam Neeson ...
This life has ... MORE MEANING ... !!!
than ... " Custom Made " ... Jewellery ... !!!
Like Bruce ...
when i'm writing ....
My fists ... bring the ... " FURY " ... !!!!!
cos people act ... CRAZY ... !!!!!
Their outlook seems ... " Hazy " ...
to make themselves money ....
Their Slim's ... REALLY SHADY ... !!!!!
Do you ...
Trust your lady ... ???
to bring up ... " Your Baby " ...
When Coc' ... is ... " The Drug " ...
she likes to take .... DAILY .... !!! ? !!!
Well ..........
Maybe just ... " Maybe " ... ???
If you see ... what I see ...
when you ... look around you ...
You may just agree ...
with ... A Brother ... like me ...
The world we now live in ...
is TRULY ....
..... " CRAZY " .....
Nov 23, 2016
Nov 23, 2016 at 6:32 PM UTC
I am the barbed thorn
the serrated reward
facing savage cruel winter;
sedition in transmission.
I am the only pawn
on your chequered board
facing a feisty queen;
of restricting submission.
I am the demonic exon
a heraldic discord
facing bleak futures;
an inherent disposition.
I am the stillborn reborn
the aberration restored
facing anomalies instability;
violation on a mission.
I am broken and worn
a fallen sword
facing a grim battle;
outnumbered by division.
I am the brass horn
the out of tune chord
facing orchestral expulsion;
a musician in remission.
I am history's forewarn
the contrite accord ignored
facing penitent absolution;
clemency in transition.
Jun 22, 2014
Jun 22, 2014 at 10:32 PM UTC
Suffocation isn’t always hand on neck,
Squeezing, pressing down,
Blocking off air death.
Suffocation is the man with his tie tightened around his tender neck
Every morning 5 am
He is told he needs to work hard (and overtime) to feed his family
Does he not care about them?
Whittle his soul down to a single strand of consciousness,
Again and again,
Exhausted, stressed
Failing relationships,
Doesn’t speak to parents,
Hasn’t seen wife in 3 weeks
But work, yes bills, more important.
Work till you die,
Profit first everything else second.
Suffocation is the student,
Hand squeezing pen,
Eyes shut,
Failed another test,
She didn’t have time to study,
Deadlines,
Homework,
Projects,
overwhelming,
pushing her down,
tries to scream fails can't breathe,
silent cries for help unnoticed,
passion for learning depleted cold and dark and alone,
anxious, trembling, when will the next test be when will the next failure come when
suffocating dying restricted.
not always hand on neck restricting.
Sometimes, it's the restriction of the mind;restriction of the soul.
Apr 10, 2016
Apr 10, 2016 at 8:49 AM UTC
Draw a line
Feel the boundary
Not to trip over
Or falter
Only a line
Yet, restricting
Undulating ground
No straight lines
We may try
To draw perfect lines
Futile attempts
Only chasms
Line goes deeper
In hearts and
Annals of history
Edges out many
Marginalizing humanity
Apr 27, 2015
Apr 27, 2015 at 11:03 PM UTC
I have a lot swimming through my mind everyday.
Recovery.
Relapse.
Restricting.
Eating.
Work.
Relationships.
Family.
Friends.
Appointments.
Body image.
Self image.
Future.
Past..
All at once.
But when I'm at a concert, a live performance, whether that be a symphony or a rock concert, I am free. It's when I'm full emersed in music, that when I don't feel like I'm drowning in anxiety. Standing up and dancing and head-banging to my favorite songs, or sitting and watching colors and designs sprout in front of my eyes as bows vibrate strings.
The only thing on my mind in those moments, is the music. Singing and dancing along, not a care in the world about what I look like or sound like. Who thinks I'm going overboard. Because the thing is, when I see other people dancing their hearts out and screaming the lyrics, it fills my own heart with such joy and love for them. They're having the time of their lives,
and I can too.
Jul 28, 2016
Jul 28, 2016 at 2:21 AM UTC
My words wrapped in a chain
Restricting my choked refrain
Fear the words i say
Cutting deep into your way
The Warm blood spills
Take it away before it refills
The blood of the fearful,the blood of the sheep
It's for them we weep
You are leeches that **** out our blood
Leaving us in **** and mud
Were taking it all back
Before it turns black
Tangling us in your web of lies
We see through your disguise
We know what you are
You've made it this far
The grass will still grow
And the wind will still blow
But you will be gone and forgotten
Dead decayed and rotten
A new day will dawn
We will stay and you will be gone
Oct 21, 2010
Oct 21, 2010 at 6:34 PM UTC
This reoccurring nightmare overrules me deep in sleep
Won’t wake me from my slumber,
Imprisons me in this keep
I try to run, I try to scream.
This is my certainty
Stuck in this bad dream
There, all about me are these stone cold walls
Over-protecting, so suspicious, untrusting …
They guard my soul.
Asking why are they so **** tall.
Restricting my heart I’m bound.
Powerless, I trail this authority
What hope is there now?
I pray in this frigid nightmare for the strength that I won’t break
Eager to be released from this lonely place
I’ll lie right here. My sanity they can’t take.
Apr 26, 2014
Apr 26, 2014 at 4:24 PM UTC
Seven years I lived my life, fading from reality. Crossing into machinery. Robotics with which I am so unfamiliar. Machined, greased, lubricated parts. Built with a purpose. A meaningless purpose. Destined for failure.
A broken down machine I stand. Sit. Lay. Run. Work. Play. Slide. Cursed and wretched as the demons which haunt the dreams of the fallen. I rise above. Skyrocketing through reason. Through the seventh layer of Heaven and Hell. On a false sense of cloud nine I currently float…awaiting the plummet.
Its falling away from me. I sail through a shattered sea of broken glass. I closed my eyes and the tears could not flow. Blocked by my eyelids, restricting emotion. After all of this, I am amazed. The wall could be broken. Forgotten faded memories of which I have no say.
Of past. Of present. Of gifts. Of futures. Of lists. Lists of black. Hit lists in my head. I live in my head. I am not what I wish. I am what I’m not. I am what I dream. A scream. A cry. Laying here, blank as the page on which I cannot create a scene. A scene behind my eyes, yet I cannot attain it on paper. These words flow meaninglessly, but not slow.
Daedalus, Icarus, Thrice. Three times I roam. Randomized plains of thought, laid out on a digital page. Keys, not a pen. Ones and Zeros, not ink. Screens, not pages. Neat, not sloppy…yet my words do not understand one another… nor do I….
If we make the mainland, this song would not be made. Epic beauty, formed through misfortune and tragedy. Oh son…I beg you…keep a steady wing. For you are the only one who means anything to me. My wings are made of melting, shredding, fading elements. The sun, heating, lighting, someday dying. I understand that nothing is as it may seem. Nor is any seam as true as the seamstress believed. The Gods did not take the only thing which meant anything to you, father of legend. Your son is not dead…only afire. Acquired by the forces you believed to be merciful.
Feb 8, 2012
Feb 8, 2012 at 9:22 PM UTC
Summer is here
while you are away
I was once the Island of your
corridor's eyes
But now I was the fullmoon
covered by dull, dark eyesight of you
I don't know what's on your mind
Or am i just in a gullible path?
Restricting to put on your
heart?
Or just my own trap
to put me in a close
mark?
Jul 26, 2015
Jul 26, 2015 at 11:04 AM UTC
I stand there, avoiding the instance of your coming
letting the noise drown my thoughts
allowing the wind to remind me to move on
restricting any word to escape my mouth
But my senses always got the best of me
I feel you
My skin could not contain it's longing to be held again
I hear you
My ears immediately focus on your husky voice
I smell you
My nose has never been so familiarized to a scent
I see you
My eyes lose control but manage to cancel everyone else in the room
I almost talk to you
My mouth chokes and reminds itself that I am its master
I let this mutiny pass with the exception of my words
Restraint is our motto
But I guess I couldn't avoid the unplanned rendezvous of our eyes
You're coming closer
Your eyes filled with determination
filled with comfort
filled with happiness
While mine remain the total opposite
You comfortably say, "How are you?"
How dare you
You managed to make my mind lose it's control once again
You have manipulated it to reminisce a tormenting past
Something I thought I have trained it not to do
Ruining my scripted response of "I'm fine"
Messing up the story line in a matter of three words
My eyes are telling a story
I hope it's language is foreign to you
My eyes
I recall you saying it was my best asset
And often I would close it, an action I'm restraining at the moment
You know I closed it when you touched me
Setting my skin ablaze with the feeling of security
I closed it when you carelessly said "I love you"
Making my gullible heart get too attached
I closed it when you cuddled me
Wanting to get lost in the moment
I closed it when you kissed me
Hoping the feeling will last forever
I closed it when you stopped all these
Wondering what I was doing wrong
I closed it when you were texting someone else
Dying to know who, but afraid to ask
I closed it when you lied to me
Wishing you would take it back
I closed it when you left me
A moment tattooed in my vision
Open or closed, I see it
And others see it too
Your question remains unanswered by words
I will not close my eyes
Not this time
I'm just staring
Directly at your beautiful pair
Half-hoping you see it too
My eyes that scream "Save me"
Louder than what my lungs can reach
For this is the most effective way to respond
Everything made sense
And my senses were playing along
But you walked away naively
And what hurt me the most was the fact that
You
read
my
eyes
Oct 12, 2013
Oct 12, 2013 at 2:40 PM UTC
Dreamer, dreamer,
you always wake up as if you haven't slept,
and all it is that you've kept...
the fatigue of your trials,
the soreness of your miles,
the torment of the lifestyles.
Your sleep is all dreams,
stemming out from your river of life like streams.
You dream of everything that you can't do,
and what the world deems impossible.
Incomprehensible,
to everyone but you.
Dreamer, dreamer,
is there anyone to watch over you in your slumber?
They could give you a number,
of the hours of your rest.
It's long enough to slip into dreaming,
but lately it's seeming,
not enough to give you energy.
Dreamer, dreamer,
if you ever sleep enough, if you ever don't dream,
you'll notice the fatigue doesn't go away,
but you hope it will anyway.
You're scared to find out,
so you keep on restricting your time in bed,
even though it's slowing down your head.
I don't have a doubt,
you're tired beyond dreaming.
Dreamer, dreamer,
there are things to take for your rest.
You try your best,
oh dreamer, you do,
but there are some things you just can't do.
Dreamer, dreamer,
how do you do it?
May 19, 2018
May 19, 2018 at 9:13 AM UTC
How can I write about motionless, unfeeling, empty white walls?
You write about your unchanging, cold, blank mind
How can I write about slammed, unrelenting, locked white doors?
You write about your crushing, unobtainable, closed-off heart
How can I write about falling, unstoppable, restricting white ceilings?
You write about your deadly, unfair, judging mouth
How can I write about a room that doesn't hold me?
You write about your past
Oct 19, 2014
Oct 19, 2014 at 4:21 AM UTC
You hijack the cells of my body
Like a virus
Infecting
Restricting.
You've ensured that when it is
Crucial
That I fight back
I am unable to.
I am left
Powerless and unmoving,
Save the ever so slight
Fluttering of eyelids.
You've turned me against myself
Trapped me in a useless mind
That cannot feel
The love he has for me
The love that would heal me
If only I could feel it.
But you've know all along what you're up against,
And you've known all along that you -
That I -
That We
Cannot win.
Jun 5, 2016
Jun 5, 2016 at 5:49 AM UTC
.
Not knowing
chokes the imagination,
draining all common sense
Thoughts spin desperately
as vacuous emotions
paralyze actions,
restricting sensibility
Lethargic expressions
wander the mind
searching for answers
While minutes become
hours that never end
on days you wish
you didn’t exist
Pathways once trod
now retraced, examined
of every “what if”
step by agonizing step,
seeking breadcrumbs
leading back to a beginning
long before now
Darkness plays on sunny days,
every shadow startles
in breaths not taken
for fear that this is it,
falling on your knees,
pleading to the sky,
tell me
May 2, 2016
May 2, 2016 at 1:09 PM UTC
We are not the voice to elect a king
We are anonymous
I am not the one you want to convene because I question everything
I am just a voice of honesty as degenerates overtake my home
Life in the wake of calamity cast on a pile of bones
It’s the new order of the ages, welcome to the end of days
The beast controls our lives impeding our ability to thrive
induced into a system designed for wealth, power, and lies
A price is paid for not conceding to an affirmation worth repeating
as I join the enlightened ones and wage a massive war
A circularity that deviates from its path is not a circle anymore
They will invoke internal and external threats
then establish many secret prisons
Slowly restricting the freedom of the
Press while surveying ordinary citizens
Chem-trails from government jets
will be dismissed as urban legends
Mandatory vaccinations
designed to lower urban intelligence
Radio-frequency identification chips
mandatory for men, women, and children
Man-made global pandemics
separated for segregated sterilization
Espionage becomes the new word for criticism
And dissent will be the new word for treason
In the name of self-preservation
they will subvert the rule of law
We are broken beyond repair, slaves for all we have
As they divide our families, we ignore another false flag
As history repeats, we are kept under control
But we are not the voices to elect a king
because we are anonymous
Apr 9, 2013
Apr 9, 2013 at 4:07 AM UTC
Curious bright light, like insect burn close to the core,
no one knows why we do this. Perhaps, it’s instinct,
how funny, an insect’s instinct that we share,
funny from a distance, but in experience – complete cosmic significance.
Nothing is more important, you are what I revolve around,
constantly fly close to the attractive warmth, oh – warmth,
no one can remove emotion, fire, burning ****** desire,
teenager’s fantasy, obscene embarrassment that makes us young,
with imaginative and over expressed feelings towards light,
Why do we fly so close to dangerous sun?
It can harm us, so, what must we do but dream,
raise expectations, deny faults, dream of ideal outcome,
outsiders watch; they snigger, laugh and even pretend we don’t exist,
they don’t understand the stupid phases, constant rambling,
internal beating up, bleeding from our organs within our soft skin,
they can’t see us from the inside, only from our youthful frame,
more important that life, this is our life, memories will be shattered,
make the little things last, they say, we don’t listen.
We’ll live forever, time is irrelevant, merely a trick of society,
as time is the destroyer of passion, and pure ecstasy,
so fly forever. Towards the bright LSD steam that emits electrical glow,
fly forever. Finding different ways of explaining its attractive aura,
sensual smells and touches arouse us, grasping for more,
so close, you push further, we are virgins finding ourselves,
exploring our bodies, yours and mine, all is new and exciting,
explosion of overriding passion, spilling around our hips,
naked with awkward embrace.
We are so close to the fire; dangerous and beautiful fire,
as close as I can be, to true desire,
thrusting and propelling, spinning uncontrollably,
mind is hazy and drunk,
feeling so right, feeling so good, feeling so,
description goes on, until hit the glass, border between pain,
though, the collision stings, it does not ****
like fence, impossible to cross, it protects but denies,
fly away.
The cycle continues, until we wise up,
learn to avoid the light, grow legs and walk,
no more flying, no soaring and freedom,
you walk away, leaving it behind,
but as you turn, glance behind your tired shoulder,
the fire still burns it’s eternal glow, trapped in restricting glass.
Jun 5, 2012
Jun 5, 2012 at 4:25 AM UTC
You willingly enter my domain...
my chamber of decadent delights.
Your submission and fate sealed
with your own hands as you
tighten the necklace of servitude
around your delicate throat.
The lash is kissed with my love for you.
Its harsh caress your sweet desire.
Ropes bind your kneeling form.
Restricting even your rising passion.
For your pleasure is mine to allow...
or to deny.
Trust to me your mind and your flesh.
Follow my lead...
as I train you to walk the swords sharp edge.
Balancing between a path of pain or certain ecstasy.
Freely given, I take all that you offer
returning everything which you seek.
©S.Loeding
All Rights Reserved
Dec 7, 2015
Dec 7, 2015 at 9:21 PM UTC
Not knowing where I belong;
Here, at home or beyond?
Spreading thin, cut in quarters,
What became of the unity we fought for?
Afraid of the landscapes built upon
We paint over lived canvases,
Struggling to focus for too long,
Looking for the creative thread among the masses.
Saying we will settle in years to come,
Waiting for a moment telling us its time,
"Don't you know that settling isn't for some",
They shout as they search for a place to call "mine".
Firstly perched close to the shore,
Seagulls as a waking call,
Horizons as signs of furthermores,
Avoiding any reminder of the restricting city wall.
Secondly a little closer,
To those who we hold in our hearts,
Greeting mornings with a train tracks murmur,
What an adventurous start.
Then wishes slowly lost their power,
Landscape stretch to resemble concrete cubicals,
Lighting up in the midnight hours
Yet another sign of the lost will.
Third is when we return to where it all started,
A full circle without filling the core,
Was this what all the searching led too?
Is home where I began reaching for?
It doesn't need an ending,
just a beginning and middle,
Endings are the one sure thing,
In life's great sodden riddle.
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 7:56 AM UTC
His long fingers clenched into their palms
His dark eyes were black with intent
Every elongated pause was an intricate harmony
gracefully accompanying the words
that tumbled from his cracked lips
He heightened himself and leaned in earnestly
Feverish want spilling into his rich voice
revealing the fear that had bloomed in his ribcage over the years
Fear that snaked up his throat and caught there
restricting his temperament
Fear that rose from knowledge of failure
Failure indeed lurked sickeningly
In the frosty air
In the purple autumn shadows
In the smell of hot cement
In the satiny pearl petals of the dogwood his mother had planted
He was a single smooth stone in an endless riverbed
Shaped by
the restlessness that flooded him
the desire that washed over him
the nostalgia that swept around him
Frantic to break out of the flow that was accepted by the crowds
Desperate for the peace that surpasses understanding
And in that moment
his finite experience and crooked path
meant less to her than the last of the cigarette she proceeded to flick into the breeze
Outweighed by her faith in the lighthearted boy trapped inside this troubled man's body
Jan 21, 2014
Jan 21, 2014 at 8:33 PM UTC