Ive planted some posies in a jar
Kept safe in my fancy boudoir
To place in my pocket as I travel far
And mask the stench of my rotting scar

I color my body in a thousand shades
Of these flowers to prepare for the promenades
A fountain of people amongst the maids
To be served and serve as lost jades

I dance the steps proclaimed
With the slough of men famed
And blend with all women tamed
Reaking of  the posies, my body inflamed

My soul screams for white wings
Of the dove as he sings
But as a marionette on strings
I must listen to my given kings

So like the flowers adorn
I'm the jewelry of this scorn
A lie amidst the torn
The princess never really born

mom? dad?
i’m drowning.
swimming towards the light above,
astringent tears fill my lungs.
mom? dad?
i can’t breathe.
miniscule doses of albuterol
escaping from my little plastic inhaler
stand meager in the eyes of the overly developed fear,
prying its way up the lengths of my throat.
mom? dad?
there’s a stranger in my room.
i stand in front of the mirror
waiting for my reflection;
waiting to see that little girl,
bright, blue eyes, wide smile.
but there’s a stranger there instead;
bloodshot eyes,
inflamed scores down her cheeks,
reaking of poor judgement and broken promises.
mom? dad?
i can’t hear the music.
the floor is varnished with broken cds,
torn-up sheets of abandoned lyrics,
mutilated “i love you”s;
but the record player is still on.
turning and turning
yet i don’t hear a single note,
my senses are paralyzed
by the blow of my demolished heart.
mom? dad?
they won’t stop talking.
people.
people in my head.
voices loud as they scream profanities,
soft as they whisper lullabies,
stern as they bellow punishments.
i can’t make sense
of those who twist and tug on my heart strings
and those who wish to elongate them.
i need out.
mom? dad?

“Just like sparrows,
You'll never see one dead.
Must be millions of them,
but you'll hardly ever see one dead.”
What happens to them?
“They get over it.”
Over what?
“Over being there.”

They simply lie with stale fear
reaking from their skins,
for death cannot heal them.

Slowly, they let go of
each others fingers
and sink, numb,
into that thick silence.
They drown there.

A thousand soffacating creatures,
choking in a bombed-out town.

All the candles in their churches are out,
and death is a bone that stammers.

And suddenly,
they are guiltier than hell.
History counts every smudging thumbprint.

Your friend asked me if I knew I was the daughter of a king

(I slipped a flower under your dorm room door)

reaking of alcohol wrapping his tsitzis around his fingers

(because I saw you crying, and

smoking a joint behind the quesadilla stand)

And i cant rite about politics
Unless i plan on being a poetic
Political journalist.
Also, i must keep away from the inconsistencies of religion
And i have to stop b reaking words up
Because words arent to be uncoded
And i cant rite about *** because its bad.
Unless i plan on being a ****** therapist.
But its okay to talk ****
About hackers because everybody abhors them.

Feels like lately
My life's going to hell in a hand basket
Inferno blazing out of control
I've tried but I can't fight it.
Steadily dying
I'm so sick of trying
Pour butane on my life
Then light it.

I see your colours
bending in the breeze
Laying underneath
It's with surprising eas
That we quasi breed

Working on my timing
'Cause my flaws tell you
Of a life I thought I forgot
It seems like your residing
Don't make me something I'm not
Don't make me another one lost
Light the wood match
Then drop it.

I see your colours
bending in the breeze
Laying here with me
Reaking treachery
You're never gonna see.

I'm guessing at hearsay
Clutching at myth
Believing all lies
As the truth becomes a wisp.
Begging for the truth
While spending all my youth.
Watch me burn away
Forget it.

Every night, you pour
The venom down your throat.
It soaks into your veins,
Which makes the numbing start.
Each glass makes the pain
Fade away just a little more.
Your words begin to slur,
You stumble over the empty floor.

But tonight is a different night.

You've had your usual.
A little bit of Coke
Drowned in the venom.
You come in to say goodnight.
But tonight you're more numb
Than ever before.
You lean in to kiss me,
Your breath reaking of Jack.
You slip your hand under the covers,
And rub your hand on my back.
But tonight you don't stop there,
You keep sliding until you reach my ***.
You say, "it's okay baby. Daddy loves you."

The next morning
You're oblivious to the past.
And all you have to say is,
"Daddy loves you."

                             t.s.

Speaking to myself just to make the dough
Nearly going insane just to smoke the dough
Time is money and I burn it to waste
Time is endless and so am I
Got them whiplashed looking back
I cannot, will not fall
I cannot, will not stall
The warnings here
And I do hear
The gnashing of teeth
Whimpering of them who weep
Down on the floor they wreak
Reaking havoc upon them for money
Currency currently cursing them holding it the blinded man don't know this ****
what is manipulation when a gun is pointed at you huh?
The hollow tip wants a bite of your hip.
Lost in this life that I do fall in trip in
Sin has taken me like her and him

Call me ******* to your mother because I cuh-cuh-couldn't feel the trembling heat reaking havok on the in thigh stubble. Ow! **** sorry stub my toe. I'm moving slow enough to double dutch with a couple couple cookie crisp. Ishy on the in dispute. Grarly upon the laudry booth smoochie smooching on farting fairies flarping from the ex-haust.
Sorry my brain feels soft ffrom the rock salt. Hoochie snoochie snooting snorks slimey nap-cloth. Froze from the several palms second had palsy freezing in the eager eggnog. Ice over sire's searing sultry silken sick souly sullen franklin flame Bob. Billy will wally dilly Dally caught a fifty fatty rattle ****** daddy daddy daddy daddy, Fat Father igloos freak me father freak me father freak me father Im chuching my maugwa. Ma saws my mucho munched muddy crusty killer toes rain, *****? Are you hearing me gravel up your ****** hairs hurting from the rusty ****** clamps. I'm krusty crab freaking funk got me wondering why? okay wize guy wicked wonder wall watch my quest for questioning Ghostface Killah. I'm Slaid Cosby I ****** your daugher younger than the fury from you first tooth.
I wish you spat my drizzle from the furry foster the kids frontporch pistol grip.

Hop scotch?

<b>C</b>radled by night time, stars sharp as syringes
<b>A</b>ngels mingle with demons, shed their wings one by one
<b>N</b>obody cries, no one calls home, no home to call, nowhere to run

<b>I</b> survive into the morning, the sun sets, they say a girl is a gun.

<b>B</b>reaking bread, breaking bones and hearts
<b>U</b>nder the bridge, the train cars pass
<b>M</b>arried to the game, till death do us part.

<b>A</b> quiet pain, the kind that doesn't bleed, but leaves a  scar.

<b>C</b>an you promise me you'll think of me when the ugly turns to art?
<b>I</b> bargain with God, I'll change, just let me make it another night
<b>G</b>otta get myself together, gotta get myself right
<b>A</b>Anchored in pure darkness, I can still remember daylight
<b>R</b>egrets don't care the weather, and clouds won't disperse
<b>E</b>levating myself, come back down feeling worse
<b>T</b>raffic passes overhead, together we dig graves, the truth lurks
<b>T</b>his was fun while it lasted
<b>"E</b>verything was beautiful, and nothing hurt."

Angels do not follow where it is I dare to go, dark is the deadened cold place inside my barren soul. How I got to this low point I don't even know. I jump right down every rabbit hole. These drugs I'm on taking their toil.  Listening to loud rock and roll. Just kinda rocking this bowl.
Because of the trauma I can't let go, I often find myself just as i start losing control. That much colder and more corrupt the older I grow. Emotions pushed down deep so they don't ever show. So **** incomplete don't know how I would ever feel whole.
Here hidden in these shadows of sinister dark, I stab myself with jagged bits of my broken heart.
I am going to do just what I want, I Don't give a ****. Sitting here spitting out the pieces of my broken luck. I am out reaking havoc, I Just run amuck. Joyriding all over this one horse town in a stolen pick up truck. I hit the ground in a manner that's quite abrupt Tearing down these walls I'll soon have to reconstruct. It's just a process that I can not interrupt.. it's another sign that sonn i will self  destruct. In this addict mindset I am struck. Im already out in the open like a sitting duck. Might as well wait a little longer til I become thunderstruck. Even better do exactly as I instruct. It will be a twisted ride, so better buckle up.w
I am the definition of disorderly conduct. Like a valcano my temper sometimes does errupt. I let my hopes just slip from my fingertips, a rose silvered here in the moons eclipse.  I prepare myself for the likelihood of the coming apocalypse. This addiction firmly holds me in it grip. Time for me to take a little trip. I blast off like a ******* rocketship.  I know the pain and suffering this lifestyle inflicts, maybe you'll get out alive if it does permit. The peace of mind I constantly seek it contradicts. The very root of so many of my conflicts. Again and again, out of my chest my heart it rips.  So many things in it's bag of tricks enough to keep you in the mix. Just feast your eyes and let them transfix. If you're going to do something better do it quick. Not that I really think that I am slick but there is a puddle on my pipe that's thicker than a brick. I will smoke it down and you'll never even hear my lighter click. Sick and tired of being tired and sick. Its time for me to flip this script. Showing others the truth this disease never does depict. I am alone in this world of **** trying to force myself into places I just don't fit. as I begin to vanquish demons that reside within. I now know this is a battle I just must win. I writhe around uncomfortable in my own skin. Thankful that mightier than by no swords of sharpene byd steel, is my little fountain pen. I am Tarnished, Silver's evil twin. In full circles I spin and spin. One day perhaps  I'll stop but I don't know when. I hide myself a way in my world of pretend.Go ahead and notify my next of kin. im a washed up has been headed for the ****** bin.
I am lost and confused with a woeful story I couldn't tell. Another basket case burning in their own private hell. Praying I won't fall into these worlds somehow parallel. I turn and turn on this carasoul. Until i start feeling rather unwell.  I tried so **** hard it was an epic fail. It did no good. It was to no avail. Far from this side saving grace I have fell. Skin like that of the living dead just as pale. In my coffin hammer the very last nail. Push me off into the sea help me to set sail. Don't cry for me i bid to you a fond fare-the-well. I just another disturbed character killed off in this demented fairytale.
What have I done. I'm a cause that's so lost. I can't pay the price because I can not afford te cost. I left complete devastation in my very wake. From me this addiction did take and take. My life it did complicate. Compounding every situation I did create. Breathing to life the things I ofen contemplate. I am not the captain of my ship nor was I the mater of my fate. To save me from myself it's now to late. Tripping over things that don't even relate. A perfect **** up perfectly ****** up to this very date. Isn't addiction just ******* great. My soul these demons did ransack. I've done a lot of **** i cannot take back. That's no brag that's just fact. Never knew this would all would cause such  a deep impact. I didn't make it out unscathed integrity intact. I was a dying vessel with a shell so cracked. That it broke all to pieces when I wa attacked. I've moved on now and I'm never ******* coming back. For all purposes now I have faded to black.