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"poked" poems
A fairy poked my little nose And gave me a sense of adventure And now every time that I'm held back I wonder what that scent was meant for.
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May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014 at 12:45 AM UTC
Adventure
O sweet spontaneous earth how often have the doting fingers of prurient philosophers pinched and poked thee ,has the naughty thumb of science prodded thy beauty .how often have religions taken thee upon their scraggy knees squeezing and buffeting thee that thou mightest conceive gods (but true to the incomparable couch of death thy rhythmic lover thou answerest them only with spring)
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29.3k
O Sweet Spontaneous
The night is only a sort of carbon paper, Blueblack, with the much-poked periods of stars Letting in the light, peephole after peephole -- A bonewhite light, like death, behind all things. Under the eyes of the stars and the moon's rictus He suffers his desert pillow, sleeplessness Stretching its fine, irritating sand in all directions. Over and over the old, granular movie Exposes embarrassments--the mizzling days Of childhood and adolescence, sticky with dreams, Parental faces on tall stalks, alternately stern and tearful, A garden of buggy rose that made him cry. His forehead is bumpy as a sack of rocks. Memories jostle each other for face-room like obsolete film stars. He is immune to pills: red, purple, blue -- How they lit the tedium of the protracted evening! Those sugary planets whose influence won for him A life baptized in no-life for a while, And the sweet, drugged waking of a forgetful baby. Now the pills are worn-out and silly, like classical gods. Their poppy-sleepy colors do him no good. His head is a little interior of grey mirrors. Each gesture flees immediately down an alley Of diminishing perspectives, and its significance Drains like water out the hole at the far end. He lives without privacy in a lidless room, The bald slots of his eyes stiffened wide-open On the incessant heat-lightning flicker of situations. Nightlong, in the granite yard, invisible cats Have been howling like women, or damaged instruments. Already he can feel daylight, his white disease, Creeping up with her hatful of trivial repetitions. The city is a map of cheerful twitters now, And everywhere people, eyes mica-silver and blank, Are riding to work in rows, as if recently brainwashed.
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15.4k
Insomniac
The night is only a sort of carbon paper, Blueblack, with the much-poked periods of stars Letting in the light, peephole after peephole -- A bonewhite light, like death, behind all things. Under the eyes of the stars and the moon's rictus He suffers his desert pillow, sleeplessness Stretching its fine, irritating sand in all directions. Over and over the old, granular movie Exposes embarrassments--the mizzling days Of childhood and adolescence, sticky with dreams, Parental faces on tall stalks, alternately stern and tearful, A garden of buggy rose that made him cry. His forehead is bumpy as a sack of rocks. Memories jostle each other for face-room like obsolete film stars. He is immune to pills: red, purple, blue -- How they lit the tedium of the protracted evening! Those sugary planets whose influence won for him A life baptized in no-life for a while, And the sweet, drugged waking of a forgetful baby. Now the pills are worn-out and silly, like classical gods. Their poppy-sleepy colors do him no good. His head is a little interior of grey mirrors. Each gesture flees immediately down an alley Of diminishing perspectives, and its significance Drains like water out the hole at the far end. He lives without privacy in a lidless room, The bald slots of his eyes stiffened wide-open On the incessant heat-lightning flicker of situations. Nightlong, in the granite yard, invisible cats Have been howling like women, or damaged instruments. Already he can feel daylight, his white disease, Creeping up with her hatful of trivial repetitions. The city is a map of cheerful twitters now, And everywhere people, eyes mica-silver and blank, Are riding to work in rows, as if recently brainwashed.
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35
I planted a mango seed, Hoping? Not sure what... But the mango grew Out of its context, Poked shiny green leaves Looking for sun and surf, But found itself awakened In a land of snow and cold. Seven leaves into its Exponential Mango growth, The newest leaf Yellowed... Shriveled... Died. The Minnesota Mango Meditates now... Watered, but waiting.... Slumbering? Planning a spring break? Meditating? Waiting for summer sun? Perhaps.... Today I heard about A neighbor boy Who smuggled in A baby alligator From the Bayou, South and warm. At least my Mango Stays inside its Crockery planter, And an alligator jail break Will leave him Freezing in his tracks... We'll see what happens In the summer.
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Dec 21, 2011
Dec 21, 2011 at 5:21 PM UTC
Mangoes and Alligators
I rise impalpable from poked and scattered ash. Memories from the 20 years I lived leave a crimson rash on my skin once as white as snow. the skin they began to scar when I was 11, too young to know that they were not just scars. they were the marks on the bark of a green, tender tree- marks of men (or brutes?)- wild and untamed. there was nothing left of innocence, nothing left of rainbows. I did not have my days to play- instead I was being played with. I, a delicate ***** white, stripped and whipped and sold. a love-bit nape, blackened sight, named the girl of gold. but no more, no more. I have risen from the depth with my soft body rugged and sour breath and teeth marks on my collarbone- like it was only yesterday. men and their laughs- tormenting and know-all, conspiring my fall. Now that I'm awake, risen from my grave- (they were kind to give me one) I shall give them back the scars they etched upon my heart, I shall give them back the pain. the little purple bruises. I shall torture them quite insane and they would die, they would eventually die with regrets- regrets not confessed. I would return to my grave and smile, maybe laugh the manly laugh- tormenting and know-all, I would be their fall.
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Apr 5, 2014
Apr 5, 2014 at 1:04 AM UTC
DAME RANCOR.
When he left my mother told me something. She said it's okay and this will pass He's nothing compared to you But as I laid there On my bedroom floor In the room where he claimed me Where little girl dreams were shattered I didn't believe her Instead I screamed about how I hated life How he left me like dust on my fingertips Like the ash of my burned down home Two weeks later and I'm a shell Of who I was Of who I am Of who I'll ever be My ribs poked out like piano keys Just waiting to be played And my collar bones Oh they were waiting like glasses Glasses expecting hard liquor That I of course drowned myself in The day her name left his lips I was done for I wanted to become nothing but earth and essence. But my best friend cradled me She promised I would find love again That this hurt, no matter how bad it is, Will only be temporary I didn't believe her So I rebelled against them all It was only me 4 months later and I'm sitting in the car My best friend sits beside me I'm genuinely laughing And she looks proud Then she tells me how he's talking about me. From my big black boots My infatuation with peaches To how I harbor guitar pics on every inch of my body. I relapse into him immediately I wanted him so bad 6 and a half months later and he tells my best friend That he hates me My name swims out of his mouth on a raft of profanities. But it didn't hurt as much as I thought I think I grew Little by little I became the new girl The one that writes again and breathes the air a little deeper than the others. 6 and half months plus 3 days I caress my fingers over my body The shower beats down on me "I want to be your friend" I whisper to myself. He was nothing but a thunderstorm But I am more than he I am the sun The moon The stars I am the heavens I am the thing everyone revels in And I made it through hell and back And now I can finally say goodbye
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Dec 4, 2017
Dec 4, 2017 at 11:15 AM UTC
Tales of a Universal Girl and a Thunderstorm Boy
When he left my mother told me something. She said it's okay and this will pass He's nothing compared to you But as I laid there On my bedroom floor In the room where he claimed me Where little girl dreams were shattered I didn't believe her Instead I screamed about how I hated life How he left me like dust on my fingertips Like the ash of my burned down home Two weeks later and I'm a shell Of who I was Of who I am Of who I'll ever be My ribs poked out like piano keys Just waiting to be played And my collar bones Oh they were waiting like glasses Glasses expecting hard liquor That I of course drowned myself in The day her name left his lips I was done for I wanted to become nothing but earth and essence. But my best friend cradled me She promised I would find love again That this hurt, no matter how bad it is, Will only be temporary I didn't believe her So I rebelled against them all It was only me 4 months later and I'm sitting in the car My best friend sits beside me I'm genuinely laughing And she looks proud Then she tells me how he's talking about me. From my big black boots My infatuation with peaches To how I harbor guitar pics on every inch of my body. I relapse into him immediately I wanted him so bad 6 and a half months later and he tells my best friend That he hates me My name swims out of his mouth on a raft of profanities. But it didn't hurt as much as I thought I think I grew Little by little I became the new girl The one that writes again and breathes the air a little deeper than the others. 6 and half months plus 3 days I caress my fingers over my body The shower beats down on me "I want to be your friend" I whisper to myself. He was nothing but a thunderstorm But I am more than he I am the sun The moon The stars I am the heavens I am the thing everyone revels in And I made it through hell and back And now I can finally say goodbye
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61
His hands lie resting avoidant, anxious like trapped dust on top of the shelf waiting to be swept His eyes turned away looking at the plaster wall as if the wall was his only companion in the room His smile is hidden from its owner scared of the punishment it may face His heart is overcomed by all the talking in brain, all the **** thinking like a disease   His knees bends like a single corner of a shy square His whistles are often quiet but when frustrated they are balloons getting furiously poked by a needle His footprints are subtle small occupants of my mind, and he is my everything Yet if he would be in my heart, his square shyness would not fit in my round heart
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Dec 2, 2013
Dec 2, 2013 at 1:52 AM UTC
Square Shyness
Ears pressed cool against glass tables and vinyl flooring words score high drained slowly slow like wasps caught in guttered draining not like velvet names etched in casing, but weathered like bricked and beaten graffiti – Waning like wax always melting Tools: spelling and grammar – uncheck Don’t fret too many gerunds grounding air suffocating hearing between the lines that past lower truths out straight in dirt and stinky face: eyes drawn with pensive staring lines drawn global remains of words unused: boycott form because it isn’t daring. Adopt sonar because it traces the smokestack between eaves drop and scrap metal hearing like thorns prickled cut by cleaver. Clink, clink, clank. Unlatch cellar doors of images fixed in meaning: glances slanted heads poked out behind legs enchanting ink under eyelids. Clank, click, click. Wishing: Sunday morning came to rest and the cat perched rest without the windowsill and the space between my legs lost meaning. Forgetting: Painted houses haunting furniture misplaced, training lessons in memory fading.   Dreaming: Sounds dipped in vegetable oil, Van Morrison in teething states caring. Still lost without my last breathe wondering…
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Mar 2, 2011
Mar 2, 2011 at 1:31 PM UTC
THERAPY IN WRITING
Isabel met an enormous bear, Isabel, Isabel, didn't care; The bear was hungry, the bear was ravenous, The bear's big mouth was cruel and cavernous. The bear said, Isabel, glad to meet you, How do, Isabel, now I'll eat you! Isabel, Isabel, didn't worry. Isabel didn't scream or scurry. She washed her hands and she straightened her hair up, Then Isabel quietly ate the bear up. Once in a night as black as pitch Isabel met a wicked old witch. the witch's face was cross and wrinkled, The witch's gums with teeth were sprinkled. ** ** Isabel! the old witch crowed, I'll turn you into an ugly toad! Isabel, Isabel, didn't worry, Isabel didn't scream or scurry, She showed no rage and she showed no rancor, But she turned the witch into milk and drank her. Isabel met a hideous giant, Isabel continued self reliant. The giant was hairy, the giant was horrid, He had one eye in the middle of his forhead. Good morning, Isabel, the giant said, I'll grind your bones to make my bread. Isabel, Isabel, didn't worry, Isabel didn't scream or scurry. She nibled the zwieback that she always fed off, And when it was gone, she cut the giant's head off. Isabel met a troublesome doctor, He punched and he poked till he really shocked her. The doctor's talk was of coughs and chills And the doctor's satchel bulged with pills. The doctor said unto Isabel, Swallow this, it will make you well. Isabel, Isabel, didn't worry, Isabel didn't scream or scurry. She took those pills from the pill concocter, And Isabel calmly cured the doctor.
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Adventures Of Isabel
Isabel met an enormous bear, Isabel, Isabel, didn't care; The bear was hungry, the bear was ravenous, The bear's big mouth was cruel and cavernous. The bear said, Isabel, glad to meet you, How do, Isabel, now I'll eat you! Isabel, Isabel, didn't worry. Isabel didn't scream or scurry. She washed her hands and she straightened her hair up, Then Isabel quietly ate the bear up. Once in a night as black as pitch Isabel met a wicked old witch. the witch's face was cross and wrinkled, The witch's gums with teeth were sprinkled. ** ** Isabel! the old witch crowed, I'll turn you into an ugly toad! Isabel, Isabel, didn't worry, Isabel didn't scream or scurry, She showed no rage and she showed no rancor, But she turned the witch into milk and drank her. Isabel met a hideous giant, Isabel continued self reliant. The giant was hairy, the giant was horrid, He had one eye in the middle of his forhead. Good morning, Isabel, the giant said, I'll grind your bones to make my bread. Isabel, Isabel, didn't worry, Isabel didn't scream or scurry. She nibled the zwieback that she always fed off, And when it was gone, she cut the giant's head off. Isabel met a troublesome doctor, He punched and he poked till he really shocked her. The doctor's talk was of coughs and chills And the doctor's satchel bulged with pills. The doctor said unto Isabel, Swallow this, it will make you well. Isabel, Isabel, didn't worry, Isabel didn't scream or scurry. She took those pills from the pill concocter, And Isabel calmly cured the doctor.
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She is, quite thoroughly, a mess. You knew this, you know this. And she comes back now Like a drowned rat. All maybes and I dunnos And not a hint of why. She’s just a disaster. You were ten, just a child In the scouts, newly moved. You’d no one No one save her, the wild child Always causing a fuss, Always making a row, But you had her. Even if she was a disaster. There was a fight, You were poked fun at by… What was her name? Sally? Sally, yes. That Sally Walkens poked and prodded. She laughed and pushed you. You fell, fell right over Off that rock, and you cried Because you were fighting about… What was the fight about? And there she was Your knight in shining armor, the disaster. Sally went off the rock Right into the river, not the floor. Screaming, pleading, shouting, Floating and drifting by so fast, And she stood triumphant Arms raised, howling “Justice! Justice!” And for that moment she was so cool. Even if it was all a disaster. You laughed at it, Standing up and feeling safe, Feeling wanted. Here was a friend. Here was a good person, Even when she was scolded, Held inside by the mother, Badges stripped away, There was a good person. But now you know it. Know that Sally could’ve died And that’d be a disaster. Now she is back and you know Still know as you did, Know so much more now, Just what a mess she is. What a mess she was, always. But for one moment Back when you were a child Standing on that rock, shouting Shouting for you She was a hero, She was your disaster. And she still is.
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Nov 17, 2017
Nov 17, 2017 at 3:30 PM UTC
What a disaster
She is, quite thoroughly, a mess. You knew this, you know this. And she comes back now Like a drowned rat. All maybes and I dunnos And not a hint of why. She’s just a disaster. You were ten, just a child In the scouts, newly moved. You’d no one No one save her, the wild child Always causing a fuss, Always making a row, But you had her. Even if she was a disaster. There was a fight, You were poked fun at by… What was her name? Sally? Sally, yes. That Sally Walkens poked and prodded. She laughed and pushed you. You fell, fell right over Off that rock, and you cried Because you were fighting about… What was the fight about? And there she was Your knight in shining armor, the disaster. Sally went off the rock Right into the river, not the floor. Screaming, pleading, shouting, Floating and drifting by so fast, And she stood triumphant Arms raised, howling “Justice! Justice!” And for that moment she was so cool. Even if it was all a disaster. You laughed at it, Standing up and feeling safe, Feeling wanted. Here was a friend. Here was a good person, Even when she was scolded, Held inside by the mother, Badges stripped away, There was a good person. But now you know it. Know that Sally could’ve died And that’d be a disaster. Now she is back and you know Still know as you did, Know so much more now, Just what a mess she is. What a mess she was, always. But for one moment Back when you were a child Standing on that rock, shouting Shouting for you She was a hero, She was your disaster. And she still is.
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58
A girl stood before me at the supermarket a few random items littered her basket pink socks poked out from her sneakers they were covered with little creatures an inch of flesh stood between those ankle high socks and her jeans. Nice socks I exclaimed! she turned around inflamed looked at me and said I have a boyfriend her face now red. Are they his I asked? her face broke into a laugh *sorry I got so defensive guys make me apprehensive I don't really have a boyfriend sometimes I just like to pretend.* *I know how you feel I replied in embarrassment I've often lied and whenever I'm struck by beauty of someone new I meet I can't look directly at them I look towards their feet.*
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Oct 27, 2016
Oct 27, 2016 at 8:31 PM UTC
Nice Socks
Goth Child nursed his mother's tattooed ***** Snapped **** with teeth Then grizzled grin at me and spit up I poked at my chile relleno Twisting hot cheesy sludge off prongs Tour jete with fork finishes in arabesque Between my own fangs I spit back scalding **** Goth Child points, says, "Pawpee, that man is scarewee" Pawpee turns his tattoo tears to see Flashes his gleaming grill I sink in my seat behind sightline of salsa squeeze bottle Chattering ivories
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Nov 23, 2015
Nov 23, 2015 at 2:19 PM UTC
Getting Toothy At The Taco House
she entered the room picked a seat at the back she put her earphones on lay her head on the desk. "i am nobody and nobody notices me. why am i even staying here?" she closed her eyes. someone entered the room picked a seat beside her. she poked her. she lifted her head with poker face. "hi, Im Keren" she gave a smile. "maybe I should keep this someone" she whispers at the back of her mind.
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Jun 15, 2016
Jun 15, 2016 at 2:40 AM UTC
Introvert
I still remember the drawn out afternoons, the minutes passing without a thing to do, the clock just a metronome keeping us in time. I poked fun at you without reason; jealousy leads one into themselves it seems. Do you recall? We were carnal beings... I'd apologize for my egoistic banter, but apologies are best left to the eulogizer, and this may be some sort of graveside whisper; a long-winded to-do list of idle talk. I'd call you "Lesbia", "Rosalind",  "my diadem stashed away", but twenty-two months wore words away and it would seem like frantic blandishing. Maybe in my own life I may be able to demonstrate what William Yeats had meant by a body quarreling with it's soul, but I think -- You're delusional! -- that I could be content. I remember everything --- I remember the yielded heart feels a subtle sting. The yew chattered in the wind outside your window and I felt rooted as I told you I was you and would always be. But twenty-two months is a long time.
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Sep 21, 2012
Sep 21, 2012 at 2:54 PM UTC
From California with Love
The Date being November 8, 2016 Multitudes into the voting booth Strides will be made in voting from our youth Presidency and Senate all part of the race The voting dialog will be an overwhelming pace But the quest being, “Please All Vote” This is not a joke Our lives matter in this election It requires all to vote being participation Vote for whom ever you chose But don’t get discouraged and just refuse Don’t let anyone question you in why do you vote? Just tell them you are exercising your rights being your own words being spoken Don’t worry about being poked America’s future becomes actions on tomorrow The White House already has policies in place But the new President and Senate can change and rearrange the space Vote with all your heart This election needs to make a strong mark Vote for a President and Senate that offers hope Let it be living and able to cope Vote now and show Washington WOW.
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Nov 7, 2016
Nov 7, 2016 at 7:10 PM UTC
VOTING ENTERPRISE
She was stunning, gorgeous Everywhere she went she turned heads The boys whistled, the girls muttered their jealousy They poked and prodded her until she was reduced to nothing more than a hopeless nobody She stopped trying, she stopped looking for the compliments and the easy smiles that seemed to spring up when she came around She didn't know what had turned the opinions of so many, Maybe it was a nasty rumor made by a popular girl It could have been anything really But all that tearing down allowed her to build back up She realized that she didn't need the makeup and the dresses and the fancy shoes to be beautiful What really mattered was her heart, her soul And so she found beauty inside Her new found shining grace shone from deep beneath her skin And although there was still muttering when she walked in the room, She had learned to push it all aside And see the true beauty of the world around her
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Apr 20, 2014
Apr 20, 2014 at 12:51 AM UTC
Beautiful
We took quiet steps down a lonely street I had never stepped foot in before. The air felt tense since it was more than clear that you didn't feel like talking, not anymore. You stopped suddenly and backed me against a wall. We made out slowly whilst I felt an old lady watching us from her front steps, maybe I was just imagining her since it was time for me to go, I had to meet up with my friends. Two steps forward and you stopped again looking at me with a shy smile and intertwined our hands. My palms were sweaty and my rings poked at your skin but you insisted that you didn't care. It was also the last time we held hands. - hand holding.
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Oct 20, 2018
Oct 20, 2018 at 8:47 AM UTC
hand holding.
It's Sister Lucy not Sister Bridget who's the crush on the young priest Father Joseph Magdalene said, Mary said is she the one? as she sat on Mags bed listening to music on her record player I thought you said the Bridget, Magdalene sitting beside Mary passed a glass of lemonade to her and said nothing certain you understand just the rumours I've heard but don't tell the parents or my arse'll be slapped for spreading the rumour, have you a ciggie? Mary said putting the lemonade and glass on the bedside cabinet, Magdalene poked under the mattress and took out a squashed pack of 10 Woodbines and said open the fecking window or Ma'll know we've been smoking and she'll have a moan and passed the packet to Mary who took a cigarette and put it in her mouth and went and opened the window, Magdalene took a cigarette and stuffed the packed under the mattress again, Mary sat down and said have you a light then or are we to fecking **** on air? Magdalene took out of the pocket of her dress a box of matches (liberated from the kitchen) and struck a light for them both and put the matchbox away again, they inhaled and sat in silence, the record played( Billy fury) and they tapped their feet softly and nodded their heads, so what are you doing about Brian Brady? Magdalene asked, what'd you mean doing about I'm doing nowt with the ****** it's him who thinks I'm going to be doing things the soft loon Mary said, you seemed to be encouraging him the other day Magdalene said, ah was fun only I'd not let him near me in a serious way no more than the holy Joe himself Mary said, smoke filtered ceiling ward, a car backfired from the street below, Magdalene leaned in close to Mary I'm your best friend and I get jealous of the likes of him being too near to you, O he's nothing to be worrying yourself about him Mags he's just a loon as boys are Mary said, Magdalene held the cigarette a way from her lips and kissed Mary's cheek, Mary sighed and said he's nothing I just give him the tease he'll get nothing from my ****** money box, they both inhaled and exhaled again and watched the smoke rise ceiling ward, the sound of Magdalene's ma downstairs singing along to the radio, Magdalene's hand went on Mary's thigh, a bright sun in a blue Irish sky.
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Jan 4, 2016
Jan 4, 2016 at 2:43 AM UTC
A BLUE IRISH SKY 1963.
It's Sister Lucy not Sister Bridget who's the crush on the young priest Father Joseph Magdalene said, Mary said is she the one? as she sat on Mags bed listening to music on her record player I thought you said the Bridget, Magdalene sitting beside Mary passed a glass of lemonade to her and said nothing certain you understand just the rumours I've heard but don't tell the parents or my arse'll be slapped for spreading the rumour, have you a ciggie? Mary said putting the lemonade and glass on the bedside cabinet, Magdalene poked under the mattress and took out a squashed pack of 10 Woodbines and said open the fecking window or Ma'll know we've been smoking and she'll have a moan and passed the packet to Mary who took a cigarette and put it in her mouth and went and opened the window, Magdalene took a cigarette and stuffed the packed under the mattress again, Mary sat down and said have you a light then or are we to fecking **** on air? Magdalene took out of the pocket of her dress a box of matches (liberated from the kitchen) and struck a light for them both and put the matchbox away again, they inhaled and sat in silence, the record played( Billy fury) and they tapped their feet softly and nodded their heads, so what are you doing about Brian Brady? Magdalene asked, what'd you mean doing about I'm doing nowt with the ****** it's him who thinks I'm going to be doing things the soft loon Mary said, you seemed to be encouraging him the other day Magdalene said, ah was fun only I'd not let him near me in a serious way no more than the holy Joe himself Mary said, smoke filtered ceiling ward, a car backfired from the street below, Magdalene leaned in close to Mary I'm your best friend and I get jealous of the likes of him being too near to you, O he's nothing to be worrying yourself about him Mags he's just a loon as boys are Mary said, Magdalene held the cigarette a way from her lips and kissed Mary's cheek, Mary sighed and said he's nothing I just give him the tease he'll get nothing from my ****** money box, they both inhaled and exhaled again and watched the smoke rise ceiling ward, the sound of Magdalene's ma downstairs singing along to the radio, Magdalene's hand went on Mary's thigh, a bright sun in a blue Irish sky.
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81
I fell in love twice the first time. First pinching myself assuring the initial first. The initial first I realized how silent love was. Seeing all but hearing nothing. This was my first kiss. Coming into contact with a quiver my lips have never before felt. Falling in love twice. Certain that I am uncertain of nothing. Learning to speak a new language. Lips poked out. Exposed to foreign land. Overlooking my feet. My ship never before having sailed. Day turned to night. My heart stead fast. Crashing against the ripple of tides. The experience of something new, Tides pulled by the hull of rubber soles. Our arms like anchors. Our feet hesitant, losing all feeling of finding ground. Our tongue the cargo set to provide entry  into things no longer forbidden. Night reconstructs day. The initial first of two times I fell in love. Eyes closed. Our breath becoming more shallow, Passing through the canal of each others mouths. Overlooking the side of my nose against hers. An anchor dropped. Chain link after chain link, plunged deep Far from the shore of everything I knew. My shoes soaked. The pavement with every reason to worry. Forever fractured. This anchor falling faster and faster. Without worry of kink
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Oct 22, 2018
Oct 22, 2018 at 7:44 PM UTC
Twice
i don't want to have these bipolar conversations where i threaten, and apologize, and demand, and apologize again i don't mean to take you through the ringer to make you see violence and mood swings i don't mean to scare you when i don't take my medicine i don't mean to scare you when i cry for hours i don't mean to scare you when i scream and punch things i never meant to do those things like keying your car i never meant to drop everything and go across multiple state lines with no plans at all i never meant to hurt myself until my arms were coated in scars for all of the times i self-medicated poked myself with needles and drank away my pain, i'm sorry i shouldn't have taken so many xanax you're right i was wrong again i never meant for you to be my caretaker i hate those words caretaker i should be able to take care of myself i'm sorry i am not managing this illness i am very very ill i'm sorry for the times i couldn't get out of bed couldn't eat, couldn't move couldn't go to work i'm sorry for the times i made tons of post-it notes filled journals with ideas bought calendars and organization tools i'm sorry for getting your hopes up i really thought i could do it this time i'm sorry for my diagnosis i'm sorry i didn't understand how serious this is i didn't ask to be bipolar i didn't ask to be born i make cases for myself in my head but they're all filed as crazy i'm sorry i was delusional paranoid and afraid i'm sorry for the drug binges i'm sorry for melting fading burning and still coming back alive these low lows and high highs you've been through the ringer when you're only supposed to be support, a resource of compassion... you had to be a caretaker you didn't ask for this and neither did i i sometimes questioned if it was harder on you to live with someone with bipolar disorder than it was for me to live with bipolar disorder you wanted to save me but you realized that i can only save myself now i'm drowning and my lifeline is gone i'm trying to learn to swim i just hope i do it before i sink i'm sorry for all of the ****** poetry i made you read i'm sorry
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Dec 25, 2016
Dec 25, 2016 at 1:40 AM UTC
Bipolar Disorder
i don't want to have these bipolar conversations where i threaten, and apologize, and demand, and apologize again i don't mean to take you through the ringer to make you see violence and mood swings i don't mean to scare you when i don't take my medicine i don't mean to scare you when i cry for hours i don't mean to scare you when i scream and punch things i never meant to do those things like keying your car i never meant to drop everything and go across multiple state lines with no plans at all i never meant to hurt myself until my arms were coated in scars for all of the times i self-medicated poked myself with needles and drank away my pain, i'm sorry i shouldn't have taken so many xanax you're right i was wrong again i never meant for you to be my caretaker i hate those words caretaker i should be able to take care of myself i'm sorry i am not managing this illness i am very very ill i'm sorry for the times i couldn't get out of bed couldn't eat, couldn't move couldn't go to work i'm sorry for the times i made tons of post-it notes filled journals with ideas bought calendars and organization tools i'm sorry for getting your hopes up i really thought i could do it this time i'm sorry for my diagnosis i'm sorry i didn't understand how serious this is i didn't ask to be bipolar i didn't ask to be born i make cases for myself in my head but they're all filed as crazy i'm sorry i was delusional paranoid and afraid i'm sorry for the drug binges i'm sorry for melting fading burning and still coming back alive these low lows and high highs you've been through the ringer when you're only supposed to be support, a resource of compassion... you had to be a caretaker you didn't ask for this and neither did i i sometimes questioned if it was harder on you to live with someone with bipolar disorder than it was for me to live with bipolar disorder you wanted to save me but you realized that i can only save myself now i'm drowning and my lifeline is gone i'm trying to learn to swim i just hope i do it before i sink i'm sorry for all of the ****** poetry i made you read i'm sorry
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105
Bring out the pottery boy Mr A said bring it out front so the other boys can see your work I took out my clay pottery attempt to the front of class and stood there holding the pottery on a wooden tray Mr A gazed at me through his black framed Beatnik glasses his eyes like huge marbles what you call this huh boy? I looked at the hand rolled clay *** haven't called it anything yet I said thinking of a name he went stern eyed at me are we attempting wit as well as pottery? He said a mild titter from some boys in the class here he said in a raised voice like a failed actor here we have an example how not and I repeat NOT to make a *** the classroom went quiet I stared at my *** lopsided and brown like a rushed **** what were you attempting? Mr A asked whatever it was it most certainly was not a *** I said nothing I gazed at him in his snot green jumper and Beatnik beard and brown corduroy trousers and sandals I don't know why I bother with pupils like you boy he said waste of my time I stood looking passed him at Danny who was boss eyed and pulling a face I suppressed a smile and looked dull go back to your place and spare me the sad boy look so I returned to my desk with my *** leaning further east and placed it down gently as if it were some work of modern art Mr A then poked Eddie in the back and held up his *** which went in and out like armless model of Greek design worse Mr A said than mine.
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Jul 16, 2014
Jul 16, 2014 at 3:34 PM UTC
POTTERY CLASS IN 1959.
I dive left before heading right, more times than I care to admit, Each time I turn right and am not confronted, it feels like rejection, A small death of little consequence for the life that could have been So sweet, so superficial, a mini life grew- as I read your bio, To be dashed in another instant of silence, I have a tendency to rush into things without much guidance. Your voice is sweet and smooth- to read, Imagine a personality that fits- perfectly in the palm of my hand, Conveyed in small white messages, poked through smaller holes, Each one I read makes me feel a little brighter inside, But each little light catches fire and dies, I must confide That each one I read makes me feel alive. But only for the moment, so I conduct another, Small parcel containing another little piece of my soul, “If you can feel your soul slowly, slipping away, that means that you still have one” That is a phrase that will lead you to defeat before you have begun, It leads to me giving away much less than I can afford, These ‘one for one’ serotonin boosts are leaving me bored… So maybe we could meet, go get something to eat, I am sure that I won’t be bored by your topic of conversation, Or at least I will try and make it look that way, Because the cold reality is that we have nothing in common, Except for a lack of self-esteem and an overestimation of our- Social skills, next to non-existent, I am perpetually distant! I am sure that you were terrifically disappointed with last night Because your messages are written on withered pieces of paper, A full stop is the most definite thing that there is, Subtle undertones have a pulse and it beats, Black blood to and from a dying heart, I should have known that you were poison, right from the start.
0
Aug 15, 2019
Aug 15, 2019 at 8:22 AM UTC
Poem for a girl I met online
I dive left before heading right, more times than I care to admit, Each time I turn right and am not confronted, it feels like rejection, A small death of little consequence for the life that could have been So sweet, so superficial, a mini life grew- as I read your bio, To be dashed in another instant of silence, I have a tendency to rush into things without much guidance. Your voice is sweet and smooth- to read, Imagine a personality that fits- perfectly in the palm of my hand, Conveyed in small white messages, poked through smaller holes, Each one I read makes me feel a little brighter inside, But each little light catches fire and dies, I must confide That each one I read makes me feel alive. But only for the moment, so I conduct another, Small parcel containing another little piece of my soul, “If you can feel your soul slowly, slipping away, that means that you still have one” That is a phrase that will lead you to defeat before you have begun, It leads to me giving away much less than I can afford, These ‘one for one’ serotonin boosts are leaving me bored… So maybe we could meet, go get something to eat, I am sure that I won’t be bored by your topic of conversation, Or at least I will try and make it look that way, Because the cold reality is that we have nothing in common, Except for a lack of self-esteem and an overestimation of our- Social skills, next to non-existent, I am perpetually distant! I am sure that you were terrifically disappointed with last night Because your messages are written on withered pieces of paper, A full stop is the most definite thing that there is, Subtle undertones have a pulse and it beats, Black blood to and from a dying heart, I should have known that you were poison, right from the start.
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31
he tickled me with love i imagine behind his merciless IBM grin sadistic chuckle my grandfather loved me built me a swing a wooden airplane gave me a bicycle a cape to wear he taught me pong and pitfall wielding a brush-broom handlebar-moustache a favorite game of his was giving raspberries testing limits his iron fingers wringing squeals of laughter sour under breathless ribs tear-eyed begging fits his old white t-shirt too small to hide his plump hairy belly, i'd tickled him there once poked him where my cousins pointed giggling when the kick came i felt it in the heart more than the back of my knee bent from the sudden sneering force when i asked him years later for a book from his dying bookshelf he joked with a growl the last emphysemic sentence i remember he said to me you gonna bring it back when you're done? i remember the rules of the tickle game and love him back for his sarcasm firecrack generosity .
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Oct 12, 2013
Oct 12, 2013 at 10:00 AM UTC
Jonathan Livingston Seagull
Day is over All went well At least as far As I can tell Traffic Lights Green not red And then I thought Of what he said...... When things are going well son Don't poke the sleeping bear Don't even venture near it Don't poke it, don't you dare As long as things are going The way you want...it's fair To tell you....don't you ever Poke the sleeping bear Dinner great The kids were good All was going Like it should Out for drinks then I heard In my head The old man's words... When things are going well son Don't poke the sleeping bear Don't even venture near it Don't poke it, don't you dare As long as things are going The way you want...it's fair To tell you....don't you ever Poke the sleeping bear Lightning struck She walked in Jeans as tight As second skin Wife looked over Then I knew I'd been caught Not much to do I went and poked the sleeping bear Stupid me, it wasn't fair I didn't know that she'd be there But I had done gone and poked the bear One quick look and I was caught Was it my fault that she was hot? I didn't mean to, so I thought So all this good, was all for naught When things are going well son Don't poke the sleeping bear Don't even venture near it Don't poke it, don't you dare As long as things are going The way you want...it's fair To tell you....don't you ever Poke the sleeping bear
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Sep 24, 2013
Sep 24, 2013 at 11:53 PM UTC
Dont't Poke The Sleeping Bear