"pff" poems
lost, confused; floating, lonely
dying slowly, fading quickly
time passes
no notice.
another day gone
no one to share with the beauty of life;
the way the sun peaks thru the windows in the early morn'
how the wind feels on my skin as i step outside
the goodbye kiss that never touches my lips..
the silent drive over the river
the endless work days;
fingers typing, brain fuzzy, heart focused on you
inevitably the day ends
minute by minute, that much closer to home
the seconds drag as i long for your embrace
rejected.
distracted, by a beautiful child whose loving eyes say it all
vision blurs as my eyes fight a never-ending battle with these **** tear ducts
an emotional wreck.
all bottled up, waiting to explode
hoard it all away..
dont ask, dont tell
even if they do ask, still dont tell
pff.
who really wants to know anyway?
the secrets of my heart go unlistened to; forever unheard
my words float by, grasping for attention
none.
i am a failure; a disappointment
understood by no one, admired by few
lost in a sea of loneliness
broken
i am empty.
Aug 16, 2012
Aug 16, 2012 at 5:23 PM UTC
Denial is my potion, oh love, why aren't you here
I could show you my garden full of colorful laughs
Glistening sparkles are the petals of my mood
Is there anything to say, darling, when everything is so perfect
When our love will be stronger than the one of those other - pff - pathetic strangers
Come, be joyful with me, even in your absence, will you
Give me the first spin in this magical, merciful (wewillmarry)-go-round
And be there when it ends, let us rejoin for ever and once!
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 3:51 PM UTC
Yeah ***** *****
you think you got me down,
I”m not down at all
Just stuck.
But I got the chains
I got the brains
I”m pretty
I”m smart
Too nice
and kind
for the likes of you.
No my Brother,
YOU are DOWN
as far as a human can go on the chain of wrongdoing
and madness.
Well your madness will no longer be my sadness.
My life will no longer feed your mangled sense of existance,
While my soul is whitled away by your cruel intentions.
**** you!
Is what I finally say….
As I get up pff my dead *** and FINALLY show you who I am,
And EXACTLY where the **** I came from!
THEN you will finally see what an once of
forgiveness really is worth…
Cause you”ll not get any from this trick,
cuse life is too short,
and time is too precious!
I don’t intend on swimming in that lake with you no mo”.
So mote it Be *****
Sep 15, 2012
Sep 15, 2012 at 8:22 AM UTC
Oh well, **** you too,
I say to the box of cotton swabs
sitting by
the mirror
It's pointed at me with the side displaying
the 'Don't insert in ear!' sign
And I push the swab further
and give it a spin
and I think to myself
I should write about this
I should...
Yeah, and then the eyes that
read
would say, 'fuck you too'
and 'why do you write if you have
nothing to say, dammit?'
Perhaps I am no different
from a box
of cotton swabs
somebody swears at
and what I write is equally frowned upon
as is the warning on the side of
that box
Yet there's something else
we have in common,
the box and I,
we display our message anyways
because we can't say it aloud
I put down the swab and
pick up the box with
a lot more
compassion this time
and walk away from the mirror and into my
room where my girlfriend is
reading something
I place the box of cotton swabs by my notebook
Open the notebook and start writing.
I write 'Oh well, **** you too,
I say to the box of cotton swabs'
“What you do?”
my girlfriend
interrupts
me
“Writing,” I say
“Pff, why do you write if you have
nothing to say?”
And I put the pen down and pick the
box of cotton swabs up and walk over to her, look
her in the eyes
and say, “why don't you go to the bathroom and clean your ears?”
Aug 23, 2019
Aug 23, 2019 at 10:36 AM UTC
Welcome to AA. Also known as Addicts anonymous
Well, hi I’m Jetzael, and I have an addictive personality. But you can call me jet. It started about 4 years ago with small things.
You know, from the things I ate to the seats I took.
But then my addictive personality escalated to people. But let me explain to you how my addiction with people worked… or works.
Itll start of by needing to take a glance at you. That would fulfill my high. Then I needed a simple hello until I needed a hug, a conversation, lunch every day, a seat next to you, it never stopped! My addiction with you never stopped, it just kept growing.
And when my high wore off, you didn’t get out of my head. What were you doing? Were you happy? Did you need something? Are you mad, sad, frustrated? Are you okay? … am I okay?
All I could ever think about, was you.
And we all know here, addictions never end in a good high.
So it got to the point where my questions turned from were you okay? To was I ever gonna be.
I went through the withdrawal. All alone. All the restless tearful nights until I got high again. Not by you though. But her name was oxycodone, with her friends Percocet and codeine.
They became my best friends. They always distracted me from you until I got tired of them, because you… pff… you gave me highs that codeine could never. But then came along all the restless, nauseous, and chilly nights until they all got out of my system. Why? Because I was growing an addiction for you… again. Would you still like me this way? Would you support my ways? But the one question that kept me up all night was, did you still love me?
At least just a little bit?
But then my old home-girl came through, Maryjane. And numbed my mind away from all the questions and thoughts that existed about you.
She would smoke me out every day, before the sun was even two minutes into his 12-hour shift.
We would be numb the whole day so I never had the chance of thinking about you. Couple of months went by, but if you wanna be exact, my addictive personality could tell you how many months, days, hours, minutes and seconds it was. But that’s unnecessary.
I mean, all my highs were starting to let me forget your scent, touch, words, even your face.
But then you crossed me again, and all those things I thought I forgot about you, rushed back into my head faster than any other drug that existed.
So here I am again, craving highs, not from oxy, perc, codeine or marijuana,
but from you.
Nov 10, 2019
Nov 10, 2019 at 3:18 PM UTC
Do you ever get the feeling?
When you know that you won't sleep,
The a certain kind of quiet,
That seems to never leave,
A pounding in your ear and a whisper in the dark,
Seem to be the only things keeping us apart,
It's 1am and here I am,
Contemplating life,
Playing it off cool,
When I'm engulfed with fright,
And that's when it happens,
Your creative juice starts flowing,
Even though it can feel quite freaky and alarming,
You reach for pen and paper,
Bleed out your so called closure,
Continue to do this,
As the days get older,
And here you are with blood stains on your sleeve,
And demons in your sleep,
It feels like one of those night perfect to stay awake
Aug 5, 2016
Aug 5, 2016 at 11:55 AM UTC
they all gathered around to hear
the little girl sing
and she seemed so happy
about it
she had to cry first
But they wouldn't dare join her in her
cry and instead cheered and
urged her to carry on
Sing
And she opened her mouth
to sing
but her mouth was wrong
in as far as singing went
broken
askew
defective
And she kept on singing
and they smiled brightly and dared
not flinch as she sprayed their
faces with spit
but eventually her mother started crying
and father embraced mother and
guided her red face against his
chest and started crying as well
and buried his red face in her hair
Our daughter is so talented
Oh God, oh dear God, so talented
And they began to pray
silently
and the aunt prayed she won't have
to name the song the little girl was singing
Oh God...
And the little girl went
pffff pfff brrr wa pfff chhh pff
with her swollen tongue between the
deformed lips
and surveyed the crowd and wondered
why her cousin wasn't present
Well, it was his loss
somehow he always got grounded
before her concertos
What an idiot
Dec 17, 2019
Dec 17, 2019 at 9:53 AM UTC
She came from work pretty early
and I knew when I
saw her that
she quit yet again
She changed four jobs in the last
five months and
got a tattoo that said APATHY
on her lower back
Her father died five months ago. He
died of what's called
almost-drunk-driving
He was sipping on a beer bottle while
driving fairly slow
on a country road
But the front wheels hit some log
or something
and the impact triggered the
airbag
It bloomed in his face and stabbed
the beer bottle into
his eye
causing him a major trauma to the brain
R.I.P
old man.
Maybe not your wife but
your daughter sure will miss you
She's coming from work
***** and ragged
Approaches me and demands a cigarette
I give her a small lighter
and she tells me to go
**** myself
"Well you're done with work
early today," I tell her.
"I quit," she says.
"Really? What was it this time?"
"What's every time, deepshit. The boss
or the coworkers or
the customers. Or all of them.
************* expect you to work on
holidays. Imagine
that. Like, Christmas is in three
days, for fuck's sake."
"I work on holidays," I say
"That's cuz you's a pussy-ass-bitch
who won't say no when you
mean it. You're like...
all the rest of 'em."
"Maybe," I say. "But also, if I'm at
work I don't have to be with my relatives
and that's
a plus in my book."
"Pff, yeah, whatever. Lend me
a ten, will ya?"
"Best I can do is a five. And you
can keep the lighter."
Dec 28, 2019
Dec 28, 2019 at 6:12 AM UTC