Our love is like a time capsule-
I put it in the ground
.
Jan 30, 2023
Jan 30, 2023 at 8:34 AM UTC
At my core
I am just a small, crocheted girl
Laying in the bottom of my childhood treasure chest
In the same pink dress
With only half of my blonde hair
Sewn on to my head
A blank cotton face
Only blue eyes stitched in
And Momma always said:
“I’ll get to it”
I’m sorry
she said
I hope that she meant it.
Sep 8, 2022
Sep 8, 2022 at 3:55 PM UTC
I didn’t smoke before I went to sleep last night
And I thought about your arms the whole time
What a privilege, I said
I want to see you again
So I am sober
Mar 1, 2022
Mar 1, 2022 at 7:51 PM UTC
Everything I want to say
Settles with our touching skin
I missed you
I want you
Holding and having
Finally
Again
Feb 20, 2022
Feb 20, 2022 at 4:05 PM UTC
I do not pursue you
But you linger still
I do not hold onto you
But sometimes we still wake up in each other’s arms
An accident that was not assessed properly
Honestly
I don’t know how this will affect us
Together, or apart
I just know I have felt alone
And unloved for a while
And I know you’ve felt the same
So with warmth I welcome you
I don’t say her name
I don’t mention the others
And you do the same
We are quiet in our shame
But seeing you brings me relief
Talking to you is still so calming to me
If we get loud enough and the room gets dark enough and the smoke gets thick enough
Maybe for a moment
We will not be worrying about who is who’s and how we feel
We will just be.
Jan 5, 2022
Jan 5, 2022 at 1:13 PM UTC
You looked at me
And said
If I closed my eyes
I’d be willing to die for you
The air outside was so cold
And I was In need of someone’s attention
So, violently
I cling to you
For some kind of September’s worth
For someone close to home
Who I would have no future with
I was tired
Of staying in my room day after day
I was tired of being alone
I wasn’t going to let my one life slip away
So I looked down
And I decided the ground wasn’t that scary
And if I just gave my self
A little longer
Everything would be so much better
At this point in time
I felt powerful
At this point in time
I was hopeful I’d survive
And then I
closed
my eyes
In trauma class
They tell you
A victim
Will blame themselves first
Will internalize a space of fear
Of their own creation
You ever notice that?
She says
A glance across the room
What
I whisper back
And then she says
Warm breath against
your lips-
Creation
Is only for God
And
children.
Nov 1, 2021
Nov 1, 2021 at 2:14 AM UTC
I never loved you because I was lonely
I was lonely because I loved you.
Oct 28, 2021
Oct 28, 2021 at 4:15 PM UTC
I looked at you
And I felt it.
I knew part of me would always love you.
We grew up together after all.
My first real love
My “one that got away”
I told you I’d be sad forever
If you didn’t stay.
-I was not the liar
Oct 1, 2021
Oct 1, 2021 at 11:09 PM UTC
And some days
I don’t even want to eat
Evolutionary phenomena
Distorting my own body
Obsession with being empty
And some times
I wanna plug my nose
And have the inside of head
Cloud with deep breaths
Scratch behind my eyelids
Please
My mind is destroying me
I am desperate
I am on a life boat
In the middle of the sea
There’s isn’t that much life left in me
No one is coming to rescue me
I am alone
The same way
I have always been
Neglect hides In my teeth
My parents didn’t take care of me
My dad never said I love you
Old cavities
Sep 19, 2021
Sep 19, 2021 at 6:49 PM UTC
I hate starting over
Because all I can do is bask in the failure
Sep 19, 2021
Sep 19, 2021 at 6:47 PM UTC