The Roulette of Fanfare by Imaginative Glare (A Cooperation of Timeless Synquest)
Sunken fortitude is the bailiwick of interminable eupathy that sustenance embezzles by minutiae of orange spectral linearity of bypass becoming a torus of tragic reprieve in repcrevel fashions of hyjamb. Thus we float above the carcass of syrts of certitude by cadasters of nostalgic drawls of malingering strawberry staddle for the scutage of pinhoked disaster. We renege on committed opalescence because tranquil dangles of vinsky are waged by trenchcoats of bluster for vector arrays of galvanized decorum that swirks for elegant synectics by dredged grains of agrarian sanity by the pleckigger of lopsided islands of creativity that are the notarikons of aleatory finite but equidistant largesse of not just a jumboism but a jetsetting travesty of traversed time mastered by ignoble ingenuity. I limn with piracy as a freebooter cordslave plugged by demitoilet reminders of the flyndresque alloreck of tinjesk spectral ultimatums that are the stretchgraves of a retrospective infinity that is a bystander to catapulted cohesive coherence found only in piecemeal culinary seditions against the drip of a turncock of roosted clarification in muted hindsights of foresight itself. The pleonexia of abeyance is the riddle of enigmatic promulgation that flickers even with partial compartmentalized servitude to the burlesque the burrows of an ophidiodiarium scare away any jaunty sleek car from the boosterism of a farmed collision with disjointed surgery of nimble reticence that braves the seismotic macadamized plutocracy of drift without sedition in sedimentary clairvoyance with a pointed amphigory that is actually a starved clarity for ommateums without spelunked trudges that occur in dovetails for disguise by synectic optimum at the zenith of the hive synergy of singularity.  The justified jest of aleatory flexes of finitude is a shambolic gesture of the limber of divergent interpretation ingeminating the world by sapient degrees of psychometry of divergence in piecemeal asseveration of the hindsight of the festooned not tepid or butchered by the obvious to the glaring cineaste but rather a gloaming glint of refracted ingenuity roosted beyond any alienesque erratic happenstance that is itself a beatific fortuity for the geotechnics of human emergence into supersensible planes traversed in a stereodimensional covenant with a compacted compost of DIVERGENT IMAGINATION OF CADASTER rather than the regelation of the obvious. Timmynoggies of cartels are regnant because of the repugnance of loyalty to the fricative frigates of superlunary mention of ratiocination divorced from husbandry of hyjamb for giant leaps in rigged ambsace maledictions of unfair pleckigger of the wrikpond relumed by huffs of impotent flairs of flambeaus beyond ecdysiast stretchgraves of perilous paralysis for the supererogatory of the accursed destruction of stoichomety of solipsism tremulous by biocentric levity above fastened redoubled pederasty. We maraud the rabble of nostalgia of rhinoplasty of penumbras that live on rainshod territorialism beyond the jolkers of everlasting foofaraw livid by betrayal but erratic in glamour without crackjaw costermongers vitiating the vociferous because of incumbent thermodynamics that affixes the stagnant to the latticework of riddle by sturdy integral derived fliphavens of shibboleths of solitude. Education is a fliction of robust derangement of nowhere men taxed by the celerity of traversed traipses of memory beyond encaged bridewells for recanted alchemy to prerogatives of the roomy expansive facsimiles of departed stigmas of bossy clairvoyance for martian glimpses at sunken waste. The bernaggles of brittle titanium are abrasive when they are alloyed with the compost of material dynamics of capital without avenged prediction cemented in sunken graves taxing the nostalgia of histrinkage that is affixed to boschveldt traindeque for venial consanguinity to dikephobia. We elevate the endpoints of abridged turriform clockwork provincial shibboleths that are the proctor and protectorate of insular robbery of crowned trounces of gravity for the gravitas of sepulchral vanity learned from famigeration of filial tithes of duty. A dutiful sedition is countermanded by the pews of turnstiles that enamor the enamel of rollercoasters because of vague vagaries of bedazzled contrition for wanton ambition on psaphonic psychology and therefore sustain the vibronic thrombosis of nonlethal inseminations of clear aqueous transfixed filigrees of demented notions of cheerful apocrypha of liturgical pride beyond the dungeons of prejudiced inquisition. The jolkers of insolent archipelagos of spinsters that levitate by parsed peril of delaminated parsecs of glazed parturition is the orchestra of a nonlinear grove of invented abecedarian witwanton notice of maddened cattle of gluttony forestalled by the clairvoyance of otiose operations of redoubled countenance that consequently is septiferous by degrees of sanguine rapacity the qwartion of endeared endeavor to surpass the gentility of brooked temperatures frozen to sustain but not mainline the congeners of the elective agenda to bypass the thornbushes of conflagration without knavery or cutthroat embellishments of bedlam. And without the din of simplicity occluding the transcendent goal of humane synoecy of fustilugs of fumatoriums endangered but not inflammed by controversy we witness the insubordinate university of hibernation becoming a specter of grisly bromidrosis of lackluster forswinked fortitude because the majestic sinew of the overwrought is a refrained luxuriance of pity of facetious glebes ringed around orbital planes of synthetic abridgement that supposes the sultry is actually the swelter of calenture but taxed by sicarians of the grandeval it meets no fanfare among elective privilege. Amphigory is not categorized as dross by shipwreck but only by synechdocial docility of groomed barren arcades of storged complication leading to regeneration of a world leaden with the epicurean epithets of agerasia that burden the wardens of poached intermission without remission because the drapes of the greatest art are thus created by the complete transfiguration of the soul bolted to ethereal expansive heights that dwarf all pithy gnomes of the gardens of prospective desiccation of the petty gripes of the gavel of idiocy rather than the astounding artform of the newfangled tabanids to supererogatory oceans of creativity. The benchmarks of sublime illusions of supremacy are a hidebound taxidermy of the rookery of greenhorns to summit the testy secrecy of inane drawl that scrabbles the miniature embellishments of petty sportive lunacy as a figment of the feral nature of proclivity recumbent upon its own gladdened prickly renegades that align with a gallywow cacophony rather than a merely epicene convergence of attitude for equity above polity that is hardly polite. As a penitent hibernal rejoinder against the clerical critics of religiosity becoming conflated with artistic masterworks of oligomania I offer my rogation for atonement because the melismatic art I fashion leads to the vogue enchantment of the noosphere for the soteriological bedrock of fastened intellectual endeavor that traverses planes of an engorged soul without a gulf of conscience leaden by distracted discernment leading to a hypostasized apostasy from the religious scruples I rigorously uphold but that I vacillate away from because I want to entrench an irenic world for the francketor dash towards a superlative enrichment of mind above matter for the victorias of soul above the pettiness of the dim humdingers of the banal lifeless squabbles of martexts beyond the hospitable welcome of martians. For the naysayers that don’t understand the ironic irenic circularity of gainsay becoming rebarbative to this artistic flourish of supersensible equipoise with an approximated histrinkage lagged by temporal deficiency they should not abhor the talisman of an ergotall genius but rather marvel at the burlesque cineaste connotation of enamored youthful spirits becoming novel because they stride above the cascades of crestfallen apathy of plodding languor. This is a definitive new artform for the niche crowd so don’t dismiss it as gobbledygook because it serves the purpose to enchant creative spirits and test minds that might be more nimble than resourceless. Wearisome by demiurges of distraction the thorny imbroglio of industry is a whiplash of nativism belonging to the throb of pulsated penury that is neither valedictory nor penultimate but tertiary in oblong variegated menageries of perfidy for collapsed enormities of jumboism lost on inclement stoichiometry that is sejungible from crambazzles of findrouement that are squaloid enthralled raptures of humdingers of rippled hunks of parched nebbich pataphysics because the circuit of conditioned reward is a rebarbative tether to the catchpole exploitative erratum of harbingers of hungry happenstance rather than continual enchantment. The crumple of squaloid sebastomania a distant figment of adscititious schadenfreude of dilettantism of flonky smardagine streaks of whemmled anxieties unduly provoked by calamities of presstungular intorgurent toonardical deprived cartels of repcrevel pursuit with labial senses embedded in deft incondite inquiries against seismotic jostle over the rubble of scaffolded jengadangle above the rot of contranatant sleek suffrage for the chattel of elemental realism becoming a heroic temple for glory without the vetust errundle of dismal disco attuned only to the spurts rather than a startled commerstargal of alienation leads to a plumber’s irony of atomic humdingers of natural equipoise with litotes of scrawny rings of gollendary piracy. The valorous incondite bricolage of a ****** cineaste barnstorm inoculated from conflagrations of the flagitious reprisal of prevenance of ferial fastuous feats of furlongs of brittle certainty above the tentative glaze of aced pokerish promenades to summit the craggy because the salebrosity of the pitch is also the venue for the sphairistic tentpoles of a new tabernacle of spectacular ecstasy in obvious punitive damage to puritan pilgrimage to mechanized obelisks of sardanapalian betrayal of histories of seizure rather than naturism of erasure that is a totemic recall of strollows of lonesome tributaries to tribunes of steam rather than saunas of lickerish leverage because the gladiatorial is a zugzwang with the deliberate infernal shibboleths of the disinclined people dislodged by carnality that depose sicarians of science because of militarized enmity against the whangams of taghairm becoming the outmoded dupe of dopamine that is now serotinous rather than flanged with glaring hearsay. The serpentine winds of windlass sometimes are a conclave of convex itineration against the steady husbandry of docile domiciles of mannequin sedentary postures for posterized infamy rather than manufactured oneiromancy that is the staddle for every phony contraption of qwartion obviously specious but interrogated by the dubiety of perseverance of inclement curiosity. Yet again we sweep the soaring ligaments of rigid ramshackle bletonism that hawkshaws countermand by division of enumerated nadirs pivoted against the perpended weight of the prolonged zeniths of grit above substance that infatuates myopia but glares against mountebanks of apothecary leverage. We fight against the boxcar traindeque of sejungible traipses through stereodimensional rebuffs of known drogulus surpassing unknowable reticence of citadels that are owleries for the seedy cities they sprawl with incontinence for a drab raft of intertesselation rather than a refined quintessence of alchemy achieved by allotment by brackish nescience becoming a blinding ray of destitution engraved by petrified decalcified rudiments of realism. The somber timbre of delirifacient ruinous rumination malingers in humdrum salience as it scrawls the tragedians lament of distal eventful frets of declassified nomenclature that swoon with lugubrious harbingers of burglary the licentious dolts affixed to the brays of pauperized regions of future proximity too remote to paralyze the morale of any cantonment on record by litotes of profound remembrance of a backfire delope for cineaste conflation of marstion slore for educated reprisal of desiccation. We spelunk in mimicry the dingy duplicity of double-takes in regelation that owe homage to the percolated hearsay of cartels that operate parsecs beyond our congeners of germane lustration in remission by deontology for soteriology alone but not vacated of the stilts of turnverein ragged mannequins of desolate remorse for the dearth of hived and hemmed hibernation in a fitful frenzy of revision above precision. We see abundant lactose intolerance as a sidereal lovelorn lament of sematic entrenchment without the scourge of roosted war against abrasive brawn exercised in flexible limbers of the novel filigrees of truth revelatory of consideration rather than impregnated with the perfidy of amaranthine static of regaled stagnation that flickers with the marinas of congregated leaps as a signature of the artistic license of byzantine traipses of contempered primacy in the soup kitchen of a lapse in sabotaged sobriety. Immune from displaced donnism is the resurgence of bonanza from checkered propinquities affixed to a finite placard of spacetime that owes to stretchgraves a profound depth of contrition that carmelized apocrypha lapse on lissome whilded dignotions of contrarian raillery of loose nihilism rather than anchor to the eremites of fact found in eclipsed culmination for momentous harps of the Jubal for new centuries inseminating the populated presence of spectral imagination with contorted melodies that spawn an ingenuous quest to swoon abiding heavens for celestial ears. It is conspicuous that artifacts for raiders elope with circuitous routes of heated sedimentary incubations with a comatose creativity that seeds the ferial junediggle with a supercalendar of confections that are intermittently apportioned in heydays of culture to the sad lament of the obvious rather than the obviated dare of audacity above conglomerations of spirited luxuriance in tasty memorial to a pinnacle above all other notions of sentinel apostasy. The greater atrocity of rogated ambitions against the gainsay of iconoduly of the rood and rude crucifixion of resurrected clarity found in the enamel of akashic answers to questions fashioned by kneaded cosmetology of delicate ***** cotqueans of limber above precedent and license beyond the finkly limp of lolloped saccharine blitzkreigs of the jalousies of the ajar vaticination of hurdled glaikeries of epicene impediment is that we ****** ink above the gesture of the quills of rocky abrasion found in limitrophes of yachted celebration because of rabid coherence above the wherefores of gadzookerie because the gladdest scaldabanco is the demented persiflage of collateral catastrophe beyond any humane degree of schadenfreude for persecution that backbites the anteric antlers of the jesters that mock the procession of liturgical secularism jeering at grapholagnia while lagging in imaginative spurts of lament for incalculable damage to the Pandora’s box of effluvia that meet stiff tabernacles of betrayal because of the Judaic foresight rather than as an alarmed Marxism scared of an agrarian interdependence of worlds cadged more prone to moral dogma exercised with latitude rather than unscrupulous brays of fisticuffs of shambolic shams of ruin. We glance at the perfidies of voyeurism with pertinacity and recalcitrant bellipotent bedlam that evokes the illicit grandeval whangams of quixotic whartonized arraigned estrangement from legalism to warp time to its own superlative turpitude that is reckless but contingent upon the consummation of destiny only to the extent of original witness rather than the decay of perpetuity wrought by the persiflage of envious militarized mandarisms of enmity aimed to derail the elevators of the noosphere from stratospheric emergence in now perspicuous clarity above the pother of the indelible sacrilege of the stygian polymathy of the astute enemies of the proper comstockery rather than the negligent butchers of an enantiodromia of oligarchies of lewdness that are severed appendages to Anti-Semitism and by extension a marginalized Islamophobia that demands by exigency the complete erasure of all attempts at sacrilege exercised in rampant dereliction of dutiful upkeep of the upright morality against the cadge of ulterior ploys of a broader hedonism that would only piggyback because of the license of ryesolagnus rather than because of a complete signatory endorsement of the liberated agenda of free thought conquered through the conquest of God but the ultimate conquistadors of time through sennet and even negligent rebec to memorialize the triumphant pantheon of growth rather than rankled regress into prolonged hatred ingeminated by atrocious tortfeasors that belong nowhere but the ashen heap of exorcised damnation. The perdition inherent to the system that craves chattel rather than sartorial versions of syncretic chatter is the malefaction of renegades bent on tornadic vulcanization to a demoralized wragapole of docility hitched to the vandalism of pilloried tarantisms of moral lapse leading the sheep into sheepish resignation over the accordion of Original Sin that annoys because the bridewells are brideless birds of the chavish of warbled uncertainty wicked because of snuffed tabacosis of mitigations of evil by the evildoers for the rejoinder against the Republic by rendering the **** a platonic ploy of karezza if only punctuated by solitary ******* reticulated by exsibilation that is contorted when you consider the ****** act a marvel rather than a condemnation of the vicarious involvement in normative ****** creations not of any higher artform but of an evolved theology that might perpend the issue of Christianized ******* that is videographic as a sanction worthy of charter and an impending simultaneous comstockery to protect the decency of the simultagnosia of a diverse and divisive mispronunciated time bent against its greatest heroes for the malice of schadenfreude built into the system of language itself by germane consideration to flagellate the wrong country for the  greatest wrongs known to the realm of religious observance. The pederasty of enclaves is the bailiwick of mutinies of selective mutism incurred by the vilified into compulsive shrieks of kallince as a ribbacle of protean ratiocination paralyzed by the coherent vulnerability incurred by the exchequer of polluted conditions of enslavement by the stretchgraves of the chavish of too many pulpits in the throng of a decisive jaundice against the victors of history because of the obsolescence of the historical fossils of outmoded jealousy. Now to the eupathy of all generations should we better conserve situations against the encroaching wesperm of the marstions of ulterior feminism grimacing at the pleckigger of manhood and decriminalizing the taboo against the enantiodromia of miscegenation to the folly of shepherds of idiotic ploys to rear the mediocre rebec of warbled intimations of cultural impotence that should proselytize both the oligogenics beyond ecbolic atrocity and the adoptive ****** of the anglosphere through its smart and dapper monopoly threatened by the commerstargal of retromorphosis exhibited by the demassification of culled syntalities into aboriginal epigenetic kennels of subservience to a piggybacked system where if you are among the attentive scrutiny of the audience that both perceives apperception metacognitively with francketor precision you are thereby inoculated from lean herbivores of cultish occultism metaphorically in the annealed agitprop for resourcelessness that never ends in the radioglare of revisionism because of the prevenance of the vergers who manage the Manciples rather than tend to the vainglory of the potagers around the hegemunes of an unwarranted and puritan celibacy of conceptual sterility in a world fashioned by engouements for sanguine hopes for a consanguinity that might portend into dynasty but lopsided in its contrite missives of scandal will never provide a valedictory rendition on politically checkered zugzwangs of ulterior scientism against the lettered freedom of bibliognosts to aggrieve against the gloaming vacuum of sartorial damages to Dagon among the populated metropolis of corporate servitude that will thus collapse out of rebarbative backlash for its diminutive economies of scope and pretenses of largesse of scaled down collectivism into a heap of corporate rubble rather than judicious bonanza. In every considered word in this Biblbical warning against the trekleador of the amazonian paradise against the travail of junediggles of obligation among the frenzied fretful tocsins of farcical utopianism meeting the inclement reprisal of sanctioned duplicity in frikmag beneath the truculence of mobilized alacrity to syndicalism endeared to capitalism rather than the converse logical apostrophes that are imponent overhangs of an already conquered feral sphere of nomadic imagination into a checkmate of a socially validated future clinched by foresight and the wragapole nature of the insensate docility of those prone to officious naturism before the attempted monolith of the mountebanks of the quixotic towers of panopticon that are a regelation of unchecked ambitions verging or diverging too valorously against themselves but also prone to a simultagnosia that berates the robust picaresque swandamos that curtail the curglaff of malcontent with the recoil of perseverance that reneges in tiresome defeat of a demilitarized population that should always be grisly rather than denatured by the overhang of the incumbent nudism of certain futures becoming to finicky in impetuous lurid specters of abhorrent exercises in chantage waged against sardanapalians in all countries regardless of merits or demerits. The redstrall of enlightenment is not otiose operatively in recursive backlash against nominalism which sweedles the weedledge of a new acquiescence timid enough to mangle a prosodemic wave of celibacy propitiated by the succedaneum of profligate vicarious lickerish ****** appetites that diminish that natural instinct into either barbarous experiments in lechery too inconvenient to apprise honestly but looming aghast at the moral tip-toes around the Original Sin that binds us to predatory lapse and retromorphosis rather than the maintenance of a mainlined trimpoline confidence in a normative wave of galvanized interface against the overpromiscuous provisions for the lackaday resentment of alienated millennialism relishing the sennet of nostalgia but bereft of the heave from moral slumbers of an invented celibacy intermediary to demassification but attenuated by the omphalism of astute gravitas in socially engineered balks at the emergence of singularity in personalized cacotopia becoming a metaphor for the broadsided shipwreck of an inured world pasteurized into acerbic jolkers of foofaraw rather than the real-life relish against still-framed ostentation that distorts the granular artifice of the natural into supernatural fixations with gaudy swarpollock indecently exposed. To the finkly flonky puritanism of the wiseacres of those who say sacerdotal duty cannot diverge from entelechies of secular insight I behold the marvel of timespun elegance as the marvel of God’s convergence for the happenstance of the serendipity of magnified time lived completely in the plenipotentiary pangs of evanescence that catapults subliminal meaning to memorialize this indelible seminal watershed in a clear visionary establishment of history. Most belong to oligomania but I relent in the completely sardonic intortions of aspects of sebastomania in complete equipoise with the clairvoyant clarity of centralized perspective but the dragomans will interpret that last phase with underminnow because it belies the granular intent of the fin de seicle advent of a new generation that is an homage to the hallowed Judaic theory of millennialism as the return of glorified entitlement yet tentative in its overhang but never malicious in its grapnel of the fewterers of amazing convergence of clairvoyance. The tangential rebuke of the absurd oxyholotron of paradoxical puritan superstition that assumes a fustilug generation will cement a farsighted clarity that subsumes generative prowess lingers with fixations on the figments of the apocryphal version of the truer version of revelations manifesting right before our eyes for neither the sinistral or the dexterous amplivagance of God’s universal message by the superorganism of messianic purpose belittled by the agents of humbled perdition not alone of martexts that are martles but also by the shepherded fears of the ignorant rather than the insipid because the will never be outmoded only enhanced by the acceleration of proliferative technologies that pave a macadamized future of prosperity rather than the tarnish of the miscreants of Tyre. I owe all providence to God because he fastened his scrutiny on my autodidactian romance clambered into restive ontocyclic peccadillo that points to Pinocchio more than to the truest compass of an omnified salvation of the piggybacked purpose of synergies of geotechnic mastery that elevates the cause of God and liberates us from the stings of dangerously vapid pauperization of the intellectual frontiers by dangled prevarications of desultory incontinence forestalled by avoidant developments in proper fewterers of ambition. By the axiomatic Brocards of time travel the unstated ignotism of deranged circuses of stupidity congregated around the swelter of dismissal is a barnacle to the mofussil fossilization of sentiment that remarks ironically about the petty indelible moments but not the entelechies of a unified front for liberated equity and considerate tender of diverse quorums that shepherd rather than intern the noosphere into the burgeoned resurgence of a humane endeavor for the everlasting enlightenment of an ameliorated humanity and beyond that. By the bailiwick exerted by the plenipotentiary omphalism still participant to the quorum I hereby declaratively implore the abrogation of pernicious grapholagnia as the peremptory sacrilege that needs exorcism for our times and yet delegated of stature I urge hortatory and imperative action for the expurgation of all tortfeasor illegally obtained ******* of unsolicited voyeurism to be completely regarded as the ultimatum of temerity against carnal restraint and banished from the human registry to uphold the strategic interests of the United States of America. I understand that there is not fricative monolith and never will I lean for that conquest but as a humbled member of the omphalism that constitutes the sacred endeavor of sociogenesis grounded on God with collegialism upheld that a geotechnically optimized species needs to refrain from lewd perfidies against commonplace justice to restrain the fumatorium of unwarranted envy from poisoning the pervious minds of people that congregate in defensive posture but not definitive gesture. I also beseech a portentous  settlement with  I relent from avarice but it is not a superposition of authority just a suggestive glance at requited justice but my grangull chavish of circumlocution naivety will meet the most deliberate Sardonic Sc(p)orn in these times of need. These next words are paused and already fathomed by the supernal recursion of the iterative metaphysics of recumbent retrospection hinged on hindsight to proclaim without any hints of attempted subterfuge of the clarity of a Democratic Republic that my words while forceful do not constitute a breech in public conduct even while vaulted with a minor rapacity I rebuke and atone for even when many others might find recourse to expiate my jalousies to the windowed world not of vindictiveness but out of the cursory and emphasis on cursory justice needed to vouchsafe my continued security and inoculation from the pothers of obviously shortsighted pleonexia which will obviously be fleered as a slight euthymia glazed on self-interest while tone-deaf to the checkered layers of entrapment by a confederate whiplash but a native grit never to enslave but to empower humanity. I am deeply lugubrious over the specter of the trembled quaky ground the penury of spiritual loss rejoinders against my candidacy for high esteem but not peremptory decisiveness in active service to yield to a supererogatory attempt for felicity to alight in my life not out of material greed but the gratuity of serviceable missions that play a dicey gamble with a frenzied manumission attempt that is essentially that a parsed manumission for eleutherian pragmatica to chide as naive but alarmed senectitude of the old order prevaricates with the din of postured hurdles of gladiatorial outrage that weans me away from the ataraxia for my fumbled stream brooking intolerance for years on the ballast of collective endeavor. Nevertheless, lets speak more on God’s providence because in this esteemed moment of watershed emergence of the fully engorged but rarely gluttonous soul I have found an equitable peace with supernal and superlative authority in God that grants stewardship and tutelage to the audience that will eventually through proper discrimination be delegated as higher than the ignorant bystanders of fleered snide disdain for the abnormous and bletcherous dimples of an otherwise circuitous dalliance with an unconventional path towards destiny rather than some windlass of opportunism for, if it were not for my unabetted genius and the provisions of divine appointment based on a kindly generous deference to preterition axiomatic in perceived time by the strictures of the convergent past and the divergent future, I would never find a role of partial authorship of a widely heralded tome I will one day publish to either the exsibilation of the antiquarians of hidebound irrefragable ontocyclic convictions or the cloveryield of an appreciative gratitude to the God I serve and I make no notions of any hostility towards any party of petty dismissal because I expect their recumbent recoil but I apologize for hubris and extenuate the follies of the refinery of character as I ascend into a figurative ennobled step into soulhood that exceeds my former dismal limits by such staggering orders of magnitude it magnifies the questions of ontology in sentience rather than beckons the alarmism of the swarpollock of tripwires that can easily withstand the tempests of scorn. The uproar of commotion of blood sanctified by the thirsty rain for the desiccated faucet of dramaturgy in reprisal for docimasy is the integral linchpin of the biocentric rebec reasting on the primitive hymns to festoon the curtains of defenestrated primitive relics of shady attempts at officious balks of the privatized empire of the alytarchs among the earwigs that simper the culled delicacy of sensible notions into the congeners of prioritization emphasized by quantulated concerns veiled by elaborative synquests that burrow the sulcate grooves of hidden hedonism for the chic magistrates of financial swoon or swayed vestiges of a forgotten calumny of betrayal by the coming-of-age sprouts of hedged dismal dismissal of a lugubrious prospect for an otherwise revitalized dressage of emoluments to glory that lurked in penumbras by rigged enumeration but found their prominence by the gravity of sensation-seeking frissons of alterations between benighted glory and the famish of artificial tethers to the yoke of caramel and chocolates as a dainty ploy of yearning persiflage also a dranger of camouflage for flagitious percolations of the invidious rumors of imposture and the groveling contempt of the known drogulus remiss in denial of its own requited date when the powers of miscarriage become ecbolic to their own lagging languor of lisps of linguistic ramparts of a revival of hypertrophy for hyperactive foibles in inclement weather. Ok beyond the absenteeism of the presence of perceived amphigory there is great heft in the nominal notion that dogma is mobilized in serviceable goods of merchandized mirrors of glazed remission of moral tender because of stoked curiosity unhinged from the pragmatica of duty. We need forbearance in empathy that loves the lovable rather than envies the deposed despotism of clever wiseacres veiled in delicate symmetry with conscience that is the quill of a wellspring deeper than any imaginary vagary can approximate because impossible events punctuate time with literacy rather than incontinence of drivel that is ambitious but ignoble by stately coherence. To the critics of the baragnosis of limited apperception my words are blatant amphigories but they only possess enough ken to fathom an average orbit of suboptimal outcomes rather than transdimensional chances at chess outnumbered by checkers by incidental design of clever ploys of rejoinder that is by design arcane for the arcadia of the pristine arcade of future possibilities  As I am purblind by psychorrhagy I am incompetent in my radiopresence because I am a departed spectral figment above fricative hisses and whorfian glares of mediocre rebec for primitive shibboleth above prized taurine anglophonic convictions that superimpose the dignified clarity of willpower above the dragnets of supersolid conflations of puffery. Ok I admit a lapse of transmission by the vesicles of numbered murders of henpecked owleries of the senectitude of sepulchral magnetism of slumber over awakened alacrity of mobilism fashioned in portentous flipcraves of additive immobility of fixed vectors seen through parvanimity that actually just swivel in circular retorts against themselves without the elaborative potential and the belabored traipse of the rabid taradiddles of sensationalism marauding as a defalcated burglary of emotion for useless psephology that predicates nothing but a slight budge in the autarky of structuralism which is never sclerotic but stammered by articulations of the overt when the covert aligns by an alien agenda that is subservient to magnified priorities of warped swirk of telescopic prevenance and hedged boschveldts of elemental and I stress the strain of the elemental for the drogulus of sensational proclamation by executive ****** but supererogatory minutiae of fascism cloaked by earwigs of repcrevel repute beyond memorialized reputation. We need to renege the southern pacts to the Argentine mandarism of reticular vitiations of cinematography waged against creative visionaries of free speech because of the succedaneum of furtive endeavors at optimization by compromised degrees of artistic licentiousness even that is never lewd about sacred roods but boorish in blockbuster rather than kempt in collectivist brunt of the timid bronteum of agitprop that lurks in the imminent future of cinema. America needs to retain the disclosed but still-frame inertia of catapulted declassification that ennobles the fliction but also the vilified distilled truths only the keen of acumen will sensibly identify so that the magnet of earwigs gravitates to the belabored analysis of astute congeners to relevant tributaries to the ocean of adventitious swarpollock in the procedural autopsy of the auditorium for neither a chattel nor a crystallized nurture against the matriotic insistence of decorum. Essentially the succubus of prosthetic protensive docimasy of imaginative logic predicated in visionary apperception of the unseen in immediacy is the longeur of reticent endeavors to pasteurize the oculus rifts of futurity to synergize with the entelechy of proactive somnambulism that sensitizes the profoundly capable but never bereaves the inept of direct interface with communicable dominion with fantasia that is an operative artifice of a beguiled lurch without purged retrograde immaterial delusion that endangers visceral momentum toward new directives of the outmantled zugzwang in elementary exercises of swaddled posterity free by irenic idolatry never orphaned by a widowed imagination. The swirk of hypostasized probabilities in an invented swipe at wide-eyed but star-crossed turnvereins for the imaginative leaps in the performative depend on the delicate swivels of declaration independent from culinary clarity of macroscian travesty rather than pinhokes of naufragues of maudlin laudable applause by the canned nurture of speculative intimation that sadly severs the curglaff of whispered intimacy over the confidence we have in artifice to teach the wragapole both matriotism and sensitive reninjasque poker without incurred damages beyond the clarified visionary potential of graphic protheses immediately perceptible to the acumen of judicious polymathy indoctrinated by the rigor of scientific grooms for melliferous parsecs of advanced minutiae of dark horses to nomadic license beyond ravenous **** palindromes of hushed vigor to the declared by scacchic deliberation to usher in crass but crestfallen synectics. The future of God is secure in the fathomed furlongs of cubic citadels of pasteurized paradise found in corralled reluctance without remonstrance of poetic belletrist resounding with clangor rather than swerved nimble potions to avert future calamities in war by the expansive frontier of a civilized metropolis of the mobilized imagination hypostasizing newfangled naturism that is neither mofussil nor a fossilized relic of scrappy schlep. The nonchalance of parlance swims in arenaceous bunkers of drivel that congregate in the turnverein of futuristic opportunism found in the muzzled directives of orchestras of departed clarity no longer so insular in its bossy imperatives but clarified with hearsay and blushed blarney not the blench of widened divulgence of minatory malice that incurs the punitive curglaff of frenetic retchallops of winsome specters becoming opportune pragmatics of a semantic network of dirigisme that through sheer horsepower overcomes the sting of ubiquity or the hollowed headless vesicles of urbacity disenfranchised by degrees of impertinent pertinacity of deposed disclosure rudimentary in sedentary simplicity against matriotic duty to remain guarded by an ommateum that fathoms the abyss but never wages reckless adventurism. Prevenance is the key to absolution but staggered implements of dearth preempt the ecbolic corrigenda of castigation by hindered lurches of veiled errundle belonging to a central trimpoline interposition of fungible felicity for not only a regional fanfare but a global scale of competitive endeavor of cleverage beyond scopes but beneath scrutinized mutiny of embanked polymathy stranded by the redstrall of industrious slavering dogmatism to a servile ***** rather than the boomerang of pressure to asseverate limitless bounds of planned obsolescence to engorge but not intimidate checkered reticence in the sinew of the musculature of creative parlance above petty finicky demiurges of latitudes in amphibious annealed glorification. Temperatures gauged by the thrombosis of thermolysis in psychotaxis gouged by hucksters of taciturn bamboozles of teetotalism are neither scourge nor foe of the strategic advent of the fascination of prospective investment a boondoggle that offsets the bonfire of retorted whimpers of foudroyant ripples of wildfire perspicacity strung by the catchpole of ubiquity in the time-honed decorum of genteel upright raconteurs of volleyed neglect by strict mandate will uproariously profit in remission from knowledgeable exacerbation rather than tomfoolery by filial tithes to foreign wardens of conspicuous levitation above gimcracks by the syrts of percolated filigrees of belabored chantage exerted over the tide of perfidy in contained discernment will stall and extinguish the prideful jostle of profane blasphemy against tacit covenants of blackguarded justice served by platitude better than by insubordinate quivers that quake because bears bounce checkered checks rather than anoint the sigillum of protective vouchsafes of exchequers smartly dapper rather than dimpled in flagrant brays of castigation and thus secure employment of instrumental advent rather than desecrated conventicles of remission.
Now it is time to ventilate divine knowledge that transfiguration means a humane liberation rather than a sanctimony of tirade against dumose proliferations of fluminous imaginary tracts of the probable rather than the certain for the elevators of sanitized wealth to bequeath greater moral clarity found in the contrary submission of authoritative parents to shepherd guarded wealth in proper husbandry of calendrical affairs to optimize the work-life balance so the biocentric imperative for sustenance renounces the moral obesity of groundless backlash in austerity and endless cycles of remorse rather than a tender mollification of sentiments away from universal kumbayas and in favor more stridently of a system that withholds the agitprop of statist indoctrination of a mollycoddle ****** within individual mandates of variable agendas of countries beyond the borderline fluid dynamics of the foibles of moral venial folly but insensitive to the dynamism of the robust virility of a wayspayed world swaying by riddled wildfires of conflated puerile stages of ludic indoctrination to the rampant perfidy of exemplary incontinence waged by Hollywood upon unsuspecting victims of inconsiderate indoctrination that doesn’t vouchsafe the prerogatives of heteronormative values that should outshine not a parochial vehement hatred or a clorence of unconditional tolerance but a chided quarantine of variegated syntalities divorced from integration rather than fostered in communal depths of bound lettered ambition found in the allegorical power of Biblical wisdom expounded by the florilegium of the religious and secular canon.
To serve God rather than the perceived taradiddle of speculative mammon deprived of classifiable certainties but hunched proclivities we need to exhort a proper seesaw between restraint in vision and exuberance in creative license so that the pivot of the moralized world leads to an insistent trust of watchdogs that through trust revolve the gravity of morale upon the upswing of liberty rather than incidental follies of imaginative demiurges of partition but blinkered hubris in stately objectives to the demur of participant malingering naysayers and nyejays. The moral gravity of the situation requires us to rotate our hype from the fervor of panic into the resolve of fortitude that relishes family and filial duty rather than resents because of breedbate instinct the flickers of smoldering rebels that are tamed in their revelry when they follow the moral prerogative of disciplined ambition in creativity not insubordinating against insurmountable limits but reasonable adjustments to a scaffold of potential that is skyscraping more than before even if its too close to the ground for comfort and consolation. Relativism is the enemy of progress because envy seeds alienation and comparison should be eschewed because we need to burrow in compassionate embrace of the cherished loves rather than the exaggerated proximity of provincial fears becoming global juggernauts of mercy upon the merciful and I convoke a global prayer for the attenuation of the virus that spreads sadly too far for comfort today. I purge out of solidarity with suffering as the milquetoast in me identifies the disconcerted avenues of avetrols trying to find a way through the forest of rumination without gingerly superlative prerogatives outweighing the poise of balance in shields of honor rather than badges of shame. We must by moral imperative greet strangers in public places like parks rather than strangulate the percolation of affection because of regnant distractions because in this congenial way we will find a common fraternity with fellow man while soldiering on to find truth in God’s word in the proper temperature for genuflection because I admit foibles but I relent not in the chase to redintegrate myself spiritually to lead a charge without trespass of fundamental dignity over the whoppers of indignation some of us might feel because of the penury of divergence rather than the private penalty of convergence for an ulterior solidarity of purpose. I need to emerge into the humanity of compassion to showcase that virtuosity can exist without obsession over one individual because God beseeches a pantheon of observation rather than the gripes of an envied nuisance independent from normal human concerns that ripple with ecstasy because of normative human contrition over the leeway on vacillated opinions that might underwhelm those disposed by prizes of inurement. We should shelve these notions of a supersolid conscience because only in the humility of the profound simplicity of elemental postulates can we achieve complete synchrony with a syndicate that enthralls both divergent and convergent movements that partially offset on the side of convergence in some communes while otherwise countermanded in others in contrarian ways and the favor of the balance depends on the perspective of the flanged acculturation of the participant in a world that doesn’t need flayed excoriation as much as it deserves proper exercise of adoration of the admirable rather than the desecration of the abominable. I return with the greatest jubilation of a reninjasque jaunty streak that hearkens the sennet and maybe the leanings of the senate to the fanfare of adoration for life and gratitude bestowed by the stewardship of God and his divine purpose to inseminate my life with purposeful meaning and happy happenstance that is a stroke of glory. I muster the resolve to traipse in the solitude of my cavern the blessings of divinity bequeathed by the departed forefathers who never intended bossy insularity of dogma to be a stricture of rigors of iconoduly but rather a consecrated wit with the persiflage of conversant tones of labile and lissome gallantry just waiting to alight upon the affectionate dance with dalliance of a philandered hope for a purified love hopefully never profaned by the pangs of scandal (note the sardonic pun) because rejoice is the gift of Heaven upon this culmination of purpose above the dross of shipwreck elevated in folly but stranded in the throes of rumination enough to hedge the boursocrats and try to inoculate the world from further panicky divisions of hypemongers of simpered precaution becoming a financial pandemic that deserves pause and poise but should not protrude above the glistening promise of the eternal wellspring of the vineyards of salvation blooming because enhanced sapience converted the flock of shepherds to tend to those sheepish in deficiency to wield a newer curiosity to replace a saddened lament not by acquiescent abandon but by the solidarity of interfaces of love replacing cast-iron idolatries I too am guilty of for the cordslave generation of itinerant distractions that wager on modicums rather than appraise bonanzas. Safety is predicated on the idea that resources should never be glazed but always apportioned with optimism because if you examine history irrational panics have always and always rebounded because of exigent actions taken by governments to restore confidence in liquidity rather than snide dismal dismissals of economic projections based on bounded rigged betrayals of primarily a global panic that a profoundly promethean intellectual verve could capitalize on its heyday to gouge people against the insensate balkanization of the future by an alienation of formidable scarecrow of invented fatalism imploding upon itself to obviate its own existence by the insistence on free thought to domineer and tower over the doldrums of a vacant man that is now occupied by the largesse of humane endeavor for a messianic voyage that consummates time itself its own captain and is partially centripetal around the juncture of All Saints Day 2008 because of its seminal significance in ushering in a new era of liberation. This justification is a gnomic axiomatic herculean ****** that catapulted generativity in creative endeavor to coalesce around an Army of Me not because of the futilitarianism embedded in its flagrant flagitious mockery of traipsed lyricism borrowed from Bjork but rather showcases the flavork of the flavenickers of ribald coarse revolution that is no longer balderdash to Bald Eagles but the prized retribution of the inviolable scruples demolished by deracinated moral relativism balking at raltention because of persnickety and tyrannical transparency that prepossesses over the lifeless livid Potemkin  Village  of Astroturf complaint malingering in pederasty over its own depraved sinuous course of diverted restraint cemented by the scythes of Village People politics benumbed over militarized betrayals that incur and invoke the diablerist prose of anonymuncle desperado mavericks that sizzle in hibernaculum to depose the autarky of seasoned growth rather than unseasonable diatribes of vitriol poisoning the posture of gentility by decree rather than by deeds of homogenized pasteurization against Lactose Intolerant Leftism and dogged doggerel of pasty subversive paranoiac hederaceous envy spawning a vituperative summation of a beatific felicity. We need to convene upon better tranceception in this axiomatic gratuity of God

--- TRIGGER WARNING: themes related to ****** trauma ---


I'm sipping you sweet,
Sweetly.
Tangy, sugary, sappy tastes,
All dancing around my tongue
When you kiss me.
The straw is going to hit the bottom soon,
And croak as it scrapes the plastic.

How long is it gonna last?
How long is it gonna take
To find a new and fresh faced gal?
When I've grown boring and dull,
You'll think back
To when you asked if I'd be okay with a third person,
And I said no.
You'll shake your head,
Wondering how youthful passion passed so soon.
Who knew a life with the little trauma *****
Wouldn't always stay happy?

I want to do that for you,
I really do.
I want to give you freedom in love,
And the kind of affection
That you've been craving your entire life.
I can't though - my mind goes back every time.
It circles round and round,
Synapses resonating,
Until my occipital's eye rolls forward
To watch the memory reel yet again.

I'm folded under my loft bed's sheets,
Laying on my back,
And watching my thumbs type myself to my knees.
I'm scared,
But the desperation for affirmation is stronger.
So I do it, even though I don't want to.
I do it because they're telling me to.
I do it because even though I'm not there,
My body is physically responding.
It grieves the death of my innocence.

Performative bisexuality -
Kissing girls in front of men
Who don't give a **** about me.
This is what I associate
With two and one making three.
So that’s why I can’t do that for you.

Due to the aches in my skull,
I'm chaining your wrists to mine.
That's hardly fair though,
And I feel like I'm being cruel.
Seriously, why should you have to care?
Why should you have to care
About the time I was so lonely
That I fed myself to pigs?

Yet I know that you do care,
But I still feel guilty.
I still fear that our summer will eventually end.
We can only share one cup of this sugary stuff
For so long.
What will you drink
When it runs out?

It seems sadly ironic that the LGBTQ community remains transphobic when it comes to Male Lesbians. It's the pathetic politics of fixed groupthink, get woke while still asleep, social justice theory with out any justice in its performative aspect
Just so you know I'm not performing gender. I'm being gender  
and he's a fire ******* red head

I propose that as a straight male  I may also be a lesbian, ***** aside please love my man-gina butch ladies the way I love yours! Both straight  and very much a lesbian I do two genders simultaneously and both smoke cigars.

My childhood; marked by a dark  tragedy scared me for life. I remember running down the hall in junior high proclaiming my lesbianism and no one would be my friend. Everyone called me names and the butch girls would jeer at me and knock me around when ever I went into the ladies room just to hear them flush or cop  an innocent feel. I felt so isolated when I finally realized that the female lesbians would have nothing to do with me.

Do I not suffer the agony, frustration and anxiety of feeling self hatred because I am continually rejected by lesbians and objectified only as a man even though I am a lesbian too.
Do men like me  not suffer continual discrimination by women who identify with the masculine?

ENOUGH!!!

I just dont feel understood in terms of my true lesbian identity
I love lesbian ***** as much as the next *****, maybe even a lot more.
It's way past time!
Male lesbians must finally come out of the closet and be accepted as true members of the Lesbian community and be invited to all Prince God ***** dance parties.
After all  ladies remember  I'm a lesbian you're a lesbian.
Up with MLLGBTQ
male lesbians, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer
Dysphoric Men Lesbians Must Unite
….
Male Lesbians Unite
Join M.L.U.
Lesbians R Us
" We Love Lesbians"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmTWAJRbx2Q

by: William A. Marshall


I stepped off the world
today,
off the broken streets
that winter has damaged
and municipal assessments
off the political gluttons
and performative marks
off the know-it-alls
and wild dogs roving around
with their ****
noses in the air
it’s not pretty
they cover what they don’t know
so that they look good
I head back down the dark hallway
to get a more primitive angle
off of privileged confidence
they are vulnerable
basic caretakers pursuing opulent corsages
to free them from their anxious quotas
and ******* rules
telling me how to wipe my ***
and how to use baby wipes
jointly acting like they run things
from their phony utilitarian bus stop
and cutting-edge applications
their personal band plays a cheerful tune
in the background
as they search for a bigger
advantage and more likes
even though we all share the same horror
youth is about mistakes
and making money
and choices with one eye here and now
the other eye on prevalent professions
students and maintenance men
bureaucratic puppets and academics
farmers and auditors
sales greasers and coaches
writers and board members
somewhere they end up there
carrying a liability
and it creates a vibration in my foxhole
but right in here baby
deep down within me
inside my tomb
I transfer to a silent
place away from
rambling rotting fungus
I step off of it
not always methodically
and then back into faults
and louse packs
I can only assume my rock
that sits in my hole immobile
next to the ****** candy wipes
unless I push it up ontic peaks
nonbeing begins to doubt me
and grips part of you so don’t
think that it doesn’t
I cut it with my knife
obliquely
finding unfortunate contagions
and courage down in the vault of silence
it is there or it isn’t
it is what keeps my will interested
far from the ones moving rashly
without it you would leap from bridges
through minefields I remember
a certain detachment
an uneven and sick progression
paperwork and a number with
a D affixed to its file
the ceiling became the nightly norm
this plastic vacuum-packed
wedding gown made of white silk
made weird noises
in the back of my closet
like it was weeping
the kind of dress
only worn once
it smelled like her that closet
retelling me each time
I opened the private door
making fake crinkling sounds
an icon of pure young tenderness
love expense and faith
eventually cooked and burned  
but it is too early
those individuals that gloat in pictures
and dream about their prince
they are busy playing with
their hair and organic shoulder bags
driving around in furnished cars
the uncorrupted ones
constant courses to come and
subsequent interviews
nailed skintight dresses
soon to be colored sweet red
with danger competing
well you had better feel lucky
because when you plunge into
future swamplands
incompetence and repayment
of what to do with it
and how then to
fill up your cup
without spilling it
all over your soul
don’t tell me how
to live my **** life
now is your time
to reason and shake imperfection
interruptions
over and over
those that listen to your intrusiveness
false performances in chic coffee shops
it is not sustainable there
but you play the part to maintain
your chair in the cooperative
you will miss it
neglecting real evil
because you were talking too much
maintaining your image
Bradbury whispers
from the counter,
“You can't make people listen
they have to come round in
their own time wondering
what happened and why
the world blew up around them
it can't last.”
and numbness above nightly cocktails
distracted dub tracks
ultimately attending
hectic personnel meetings
in drenched swamps
spinning with heartless ***** jobs
unconcerned about safe comforts
two things balance them out
people and things
all part of it out there in the world
and they approach like a train
suffering shocks
unemotional images in chambers
some actually never return
from the beatings
but this isn’t the end
this is a commencement
for me
the forecast is water-resistant
they hurry snatching their
body spray and shower gel
on mirrored reflections
that scowl back at them
all alone there
in their glass steeple
family photos
thinking they have nurtured something
more than endless gossip
and ****** strains
much more important now
bent into independence
pausing with the approaching sunrise
as it splashes powerfully
inside their speculations
pride doesn’t care
if you think you are not puffed-up
at all you are
who in the hell are you kidding?
nothing to cling to
essential oilskins and manuscripts
credit problems
and autobiographical *** packed expressions
corner office windows
and diplomas
behind high-back chairs
trying to copy Sunday magazine’s
hottest statement
to fill up their life
a reminder just who the comics are
but it does not register
until that day
when it becomes intolerably vile
beneath wreckage
and burnt ruins
they find his
caring donation
clinched in the saviors grasp
jutting through burning garrisons
there is no truth more senior
than this truth here and now
but they can’t all be imparted
in this culturally planned folklore
I see them
when I am walking away
from the insulated bubble
down the street
like recruits in boot camp
and zealously rich parents
who send their youngsters
with luggage and loans
nearby like idols
salesman explaining things
as they nod like they are approving something
perhaps autonomy
from fathers and mothers
who stand with them astutely contemplating
the whole arrangement
they stare at the marble floor
I observe the run-through
the glittery entertainment
and documented departments
for happy pilgrims
who are insulated
for now

You are quick to question but
Occupy cisheteronormativity mindlessly
Unprepared for queer identities

Assuming I lack knowing of myself
Reshuffling the same deck of cards
Engaging in a play of poker with hatred

Subjected to foul treatment
The words you spat
Unsolicited and unflattering
Chasing my mind endlessly
Kidnapping me hostage

I have been coated in sweltering biohazards
Nevermore to find protection and healing

To see another day seems impossible
If my own blood casts me away
Malevolence becoming motherly
Eliminating my mental health
,

Its those who think they are greater
Trailblazing a performative show
Sabotaging an already discriminated space

To go another day with your words
Itching down into my skin
****** becoming friendly
Envisioning how I'd feel left alone


From the moment you open your mouth
Orchestrating emotions like a ballad
Reconsolidating the toxic bond with binary

Can't seem to wake you up
Having to constantly do the work for you
And what am I left with
Naive justification and selfish excuses
Gravitate your energy into doing better
Exploitation is your entertainment

Lovers' wanton "where" strings out
a mystery on chainmail airs. Outlandish signals
redirect off-stage some dull producers, sever tries
to hoist the classics, sullen, tied to water-
casting, free from gambled whims,
all spades & spires shuffle outward
dizzy after pain. Roll credits, feign the after-flash
of fertile come-across, impeaches fickle
livelihood to roam less traveled.
Put upon, this dust snuffs out
no finer match. Alight and stay
up-catching to the grim-wire news
that feeds us all three limbs from shades
of justice: error anchors līve
with words & buffer on their bread.
Await the wrath instead. Oustated
ample questionry upsold
to counter-rhythm: eat the fee
and freebase wrong to wit—
too long to carry it, too short
to carve an inkling out of sorts.

✨ it's time for renovation; it's time for us to make a change.

• friendships are work, honour the flowers that have decorated your path and don't be reclusive.
• however, being alone is simultaneously essential: carve out pockets of unabashed loneliness, yearning, and self-reflexive intimacy.
• write with less mythological standards. your favourite authors wrote drafts, pages and pages of nothing. no one emerges like a phoenix.
• persistence and self conviction are how revolutionary girls go public, spaces of uncertainty and lapses of effort are how revolutionary girls become real & effective. do both.
• use the good silver every day because every day is all there is.
• maintain your own standards of success and never trust rich people/the police/men in authority.
• do not imagine that revolutionary ideals make you above the hu$tle: money is ***** but imagining leftism will absolve you from labour is even dirtier.
• don't stay in your lane and play by the SJW's rules. it is better to actively engage in discourse and say the wrong thing than not say anything at all. the paranoid ego will destroy activism.
• live in the impure spaces, grip hold to contradiction, language is always performative and alienated, no one "means" what they "say".
• feel the fear and do it anyway; do it wrong; do it with rigor & recklessness.
• you will never be bored because you will always have books to read. • the past never leaves: there is no time in the unconscious: everything that has ever happened is always still happening, and so don't judge yourself for still being in pain about things that happened a long time ago: "a long time ago" doesn't really mean ****.
• never apologize for crying; never apologize for not wanting to have ***.
• remember girls own the impossible, the void, the image, and when this system falls apart, we rise. we rise anyway.

im overcome with the need to reinvent myself and confess everything to everyone, to become so open that im bleeding out every secret ive ever had to keep all over the linoleum floor, but second thoughts stitch me back together with needles made of words meant to cut, whittled down thin enough to fit just underneath the skin, pulling gashes in my skin together with online threads about checking up on your friends that everyone reads and nobody listens to, performative pieces that people regurgitate to make you think they care but they dont, because we're too busy worrying about ourselves to think of anybody else. we're conceited by nature, reverse narcissists kneeling by a river, scrutinizing our reflections, searching, aching for imperfections so we can say "look at how horribly ugly i am and pity me". we're too proud to be pitiful and too pitiful to have any pride, paradoxical advertisements of lonely people too scared to ask for love.

my hands are shaking and my mind is buzzing and if this makes any semblance of sense to you then I am so terribly sorry.

Can I take a pleasure to tell you that you feel like a classic Ricky Lee novel? Like a book in the middle of the bookshelf, a contemporary cover with soft edges and pleasant scent. How I'd love to reread certain pages and write the awkward phrases. You feel like a contradiction of genres written in a parched paper. Like an invitation I wasn't allowed to partake, like a victory I wasn't allowed to celebrate.

It was a futile attempt to be brave for what seems to be dangerous. As the revered Chinese General, Sun Tzu says, "There is no instance of a country having benefited from prolonged warfare." And thus here I was in the midst of joy and despair, of serotonin-filled crib around books and morning coffees.

I was a morning person and you were on the other side of horizon, dreamy and hopeful: a free-spirit composed of philosophical inquiries and fear all happening at the same time behind the wee hours of what seems to be our different timezones.

You were the most unpredictable poem I've ever written, smitten by what-nots and could have been and a pretty idea that cannot be grasp or taken a hold of. I was vanquished, not from the laid back smile or performative gestures; but from the moment I felt your soul, and like how an abyss stares back at the illusion of two lost pain-stricken entities ******* their fears of death by lacking.

The deities saw how you admired the position of the stars and blessed your heart with love so much that it turned to curse of overflowing mana. And everything served too much is always intoxicating: it would always feel good at the beginning, and that was where the chills are coming and from there where the warmth was consuming all of a sudden burning like forest fires; blazing like burned down public libraries of chapped and dog-eared pages turned and smearned and spite upon: and the question of how does a memory turn into ashes and hatred.

It was like trying to push a half-empty door which creaks and awaken everyone outside, alarming the house owner of an impending doom; of snatching a precious dime shining through the window, reflecting the harsh heat of the sun. I was the thief who was unmasked and decorated with bright and colorful façade, but I prayed, oh how I prayed for you. Exactly the same you, who wasn't too much and wasn't too less.

A lighthouse in the middle of the dessert, if that made sense, and though you were the guide, I cannot pass through you and while you were the light, I couldn't grasp through your rays to save me. The quicksand was like an ocean on my feet, grabbing my toes and tickling my knees until it comes to an abrupt stop unto my nose where I ******* breathe you in.

All I wished were the fireflies replacing the butterflies inside my chest; coming home to a familiar scent; all I wished was your embrace when I finally open my arms to the idea of love—and not fantasize every beginning and romanticize about the end. I wanted to lay my baggage down slowly and have someone look at me in my lips, clawing my longing with an abrupt kiss. I wish there was you, who would understand every fear I had: "I understand." Who wouldn't argue with how I see the constellations and what hue joy must be or which temperature I freeze to death. "How was your day?" A question never of monotony and despair but rather a whole new different perspective. It will always be as the same day I saw you, it will always be the same as I first talked to you, it will always be beautiful as long as you were near, as long as you were there.

However in the long run, I couldn't really tell of the things I might spoil and ruin. With that, I would always wonder about what it could have been.

That's what it is, if i could aptly describe it: Push and pulls.

cw: ****** assault, assault, abuse, slurs, chronic pain

It began with
you doing his laundry,
shouting back at him,
“Not an ounce of romanticism!”

Swears follow after
beneath your breath.
I stand
in the same hallway

watching your shadow
stretch through the doorframe
of the laundry room,
water gushing from the machine

into a
cacophonous
roar.
I wait,

but I remain
unnoticed
as you turn, legs bare,
and go into the bedroom.

I return to my own bedroom,
separated by the
war zones of the
empty pantry and cluttered den—

unpaid bills lay
strewn around,
the stuff he brought in from
when he first ruined our lives

sitting,
watching,
collecting
dust.

Lottery tickets
with their surfaces scratched away
and forgotten, just like
your dreamscapes.

I pause,
thirsty.
I dare to
step outside,

but I stop
when I hear your moans.
I’ve had enough experience to
after a few seconds

deduce if
the moans
are from
forced *** or chronic pain.

He laughs.
It’s the former this time.
I pause,
shaking.

Does it not
infuriate you
like how it does
to me?

You’re my mother,
and I’m your daughter.
He’s your boyfriend,
and he’s both of our assaulters, abusers.

When you first asked me
if I was okay with you
finding me a “new dad,”
you never asked me if it was okay if he

It’s just been
“One more month,
one more month,”
for years.

I’m so tired of your
performative screams
because we both know from experience
if you don’t scream well enough,

he’ll
beat you
and seek me
instead.

People from outside
said you're supposed to teach me
to be a woman
instead of a ****.

But I am instead
left alone,
asking,
"Does my mom still love me?"

What a romantic play you've put on--
to manage to fool
those who love you the most
certainly isn't easy.

THE SECRET RITUAL:
Irrespective of the wonderful *** you might have with others, or any ideals you may have about who, when, and where to engage sexually, sometimes the *** that you have with yourself gives you something impossible to achieve with another.

To be specific: what I’m speaking of are the internal mental constructs of performative ****** acts that are unrestricted in the imaginative world, and that one would never be able to consider in real time. Those masturbatory shadows of the deep and deeply ****** that few are able to acknowledge about themselves, and certainly remain unwilling to talk about with someone they maybe intimate with, for fear of its destructive impact on the relationship.

A shape of language
for the secrets of the body
for the secrets of the mind
in the flow of matter
physical and etheric
cyber chronicles of ambulated hunger
the cult of the body.

YOUR SEXULITY IS SACRED TO YOU, NOT SACRED FROM YOU:

Obviously moral sensibilities and the limits of temporal life dictate what we may do. We may be imaginative, bizarre, freaky and incredibly *****, but we are not crazy, at least not all of us, yet that doesn’t mean those shadowy ****** denizens of the deep don’t bathe in the great fathoms of our respective subconscious abyss.

My darkest desires
bloodletting streams
are a kind of ******
fetishy cognitive inventory
malformed denizens
of the subconscious.

THE PARAPHILIAS:
“Paraphilia is the experience of intense ****** arousal to atypical objects, situations, fantasies, behaviors, or individuals.”
Current data supports that about one out of every 6 people, irrespective of gender or ****** preference, experience some kind of paraphilia.
Here is a list of paraphilias that is a focus of ****** interest:

Andromimetophilia: Trans men.
Anililagnia: Attraction by young men to older women.
Anthropophagolagnia: ****** and then cannibalizing another person.

Anthropophagy: Ingesting human flesh.
Apotemnophilia: Being an amputee.
Asphyxiophilia: Being asphyxiated or strangled.
Attraction to disability: People with one or more physical disabilities.
Autagonistophilia: Being on stage or on camera.
Autassassinophilia: Being in life-threatening situations.
******* asphyxiation: Self-induced asphyxiation, sometimes to the point of near unconsciousness.
Autogynephilia: ****** arousal of a biological male in response to the image of himself as female.
Auto-haemofetishism: Bleeding oneself (does not involve ingestion of blood). Type of autovampirism. [contradictory]
Autonepiophilia: The image of one’s self in the form of an infant.
Autopedophilia: The image of one’s self in the form of a child.
Autoplushophilia: The image of one’s self in the form of a plush or anthropomorphized animal.
Autovampirism/Vampirism: The image of one’s self in the form of a vampire. Involves ingesting or seeing one’s own blood.
Autozoophilia: The image of one’s self in the form of an animal or anthropomorphized animal.
Biastophilia/Raptophilia: ****** a person, possibly consensual **** fantasy.
Capnolagnia: Smoking.
Chremastistophilia: Being robbed or held up.
Chronophilia: Partners of a widely differing chronological age.
*******: Feces; also known as ****, scatophilia or fecophilia.
Coulrophilia: Clowns, jesters, and mimes.
Crurophilia: Legs.
Dacryphilia: Tears or crying.
Diaper fetishism: Diapers; considerable overlap with paraphilic infantilism.
*******: Trees.
Emetophilia: *****.
Eproctophilia: Flatulence.
****** asphyxiation: Asphyxia of oneself or others.
Erotophonophilia: ******, often of strangers (also known as dacnolagnomania).
Exhibitionism: Exposing one’s genitals to unsuspecting and nonconsenting others.
Feederism: Eating, feeding, and weight gain.
Formicophilia: Being crawled on by insects.
Forniphilia: Turning a human being into a piece of furniture.
Frotteurism: Rubbing against a non-consenting person.
Gerontophilia: Elderly people.
Gynandromorphophilia, Gynemimetophilia: Transgender women.
Hematolagnia: Drinking or looking at blood.
Heterophilia: Idealization of heterosexuality and/or people who are “straight-acting”, especially by non-heterosexual people.
Hoplophilia: Firearms, guns.
Hybristophilia: Criminals, particularly those who committed cruel or outrageous crimes.
Infantophilia: ******* with a focus on children less than five years old; a recently suggested term that is not in general use.
Kleptophilia: Stealing; also known as kleptolagnia.
Klismaphilia: Enemas, arousal and enjoyment in receiving, administering, or both.
Lactophilia: Breast milk.
Liquidophilia: Immersing genitals in liquids.
Macrophilia: Giant beings; the imagined growth of beings.
Maschalagnia: Armpits.
Mazophilia: Female *******.
Masochism: Suffering or humiliation; being beaten, bound or otherwise abused.
Maiesiophilia: Pregnant women.
Mechanophilia: Cars or other machines; also “mechaphilia.”
Melolagnia: Music.
Menophilia: *******.
Metrophilia: Poetry.
Microphilia: Very small people or small body parts.
Morphophilia: Particular body shapes or sizes.
Mucophilia: Mucus.
Mysophilia: Dirtiness, soiled or decaying things.
Narratophilia: Obscene words.
Nasophilia: Noses.
Navel fetishism: Navel.
Necrophilia: Corpses.
Objectophilia: Specific inanimate objects.
Oculophilia: Eyes and activities directly relating to and/or involving the eyes. Voyeurism does not meet classification for this term.
Odaxelagnia: Biting or being bitten.
Olfactophilia: Smells and odors emanating from the body, especially the ****** areas (as from breath, *****, feces, flatulence, etc.).
*******: Arousal from having a full bladder and/or wetting oneself, or from seeing someone else experiencing a full bladder and/or wetting themself.
Paraphilic infantilism: Dressing or being treated like a baby, also known as autonepiophilia or “adult baby syndrome”; considerable overlap with diaper fetishism.
Partialism: Specific, non-genital body parts.
*******: Prepubescent children, also spelled paedophilia.
Peodeiktophilia: Exposing one’s *****.
Pedovestism: Dressing like a child.
Podophilia: Feet.
Pictophilia: ******* or ****** art, particularly pictures.
Piquerism: Piercing the flesh of another person, most commonly by stabbing or cutting the body with sharp objects.
Plushophilia: Stuffed toy animals (“plushies”).
Pygophilia: Buttocks.
Salirophilia: Soiling or dirtying others.
****** fetishism: Non-living objects.
****** sadism: Inflicting pain on others.
Shoe fetishism: Shoes, such as high heels.
Somnophilia: Sleeping or unconscious people.
Sophophilia: Learning.
Sthenolagnia: Muscles and displays of strength.
Stigmatophilia: Body piercings and tattoos.
Symphorophilia: Witnessing or staging disasters such as car accidents.

Telephone scatologia: Obscene phone calls, particularly to strangers; also known as telephonicophilia and scatophiliac.
Teratophilia: Deformed or monstrous people. The term is also sometimes used in a more literal sense (from ancient Greek τέρας, teras, meaning monster) for attraction to monstrous mythical and fictional creatures such as werewolves.
Toucherism: Touching an unsuspecting, non-consenting person with the hand.
Toxophilia: Archery.
Transvestic fetishism: Wearing clothes associated with the opposite ***; also known as transvestism.
Transvestophilia: A transvestic ****** partner.
Trichophilia: Hair.
Troilism: Observing one’s partner engaged in ****** activities with another person.
Urolagnia: Urination, particularly in public, on others, and/or being urinated on. Also referred to as “water sports”.
*******: The idea of one person or creature eating or being eaten by another; usually swallowed whole, in one piece; also known as vore.
Voyeurism: Watching others while naked or having ***, generally without their knowledge; also known as scopophilia or scoptophilia.
Wet and messy fetishism: Messy situations, including, but not limited to, being pied, slimed or covered in mud.
*******: Animals.
Zoosadism: Inflicting pain on animals, or seeing animals in pain.
~~~~~
A REAL-LIFE PROFILE OF A WOMAN ACUTELY AWARE OF HER DARK FETISHY SIDE
Primary Fantasy: Dehumanization, objectification. I love the idea of being kidnapped and converted into meat.
(Fantasy obviously!!)
I also enjoy preservation, taxidermy, dollification, weird stuff like that!
Other Fetish Interests:
Hucow
Medical
Lab scenes
Necro
Morgue
Hanging
Lethal injection

MAKE THE UNCONSCIOUS CONSCIOUS:
There is much written in-depth psychology about ****** pathologies caused by repressed or shadowy disowned parts of ourselves and how those neglected forces may determine unwanted fate. Shame and self-deception is not our friend. Know yourself.

Pleasure is so close to ruinous waste
nakedness wrecks decency
degradation feeds the bonfire of hunger
and the wound of desire bleeds away within

leave nothing
but the bleeding edge
ruin me she said.
~
Beyond hearts mastery
hullabaloo crime scenes
like night jungles
of tooth and claw
in corridors of neuron ghosts
while **** licking succubae
*** livid pornographic hieroglyphs
fed by the dreaded
excesses of testosterone
towards some ruined
blood spotted
hanky-panky *******
just to remind me of you
and how it hurt just so
and how you loved me for it
whoever you are.
....
https://medium.com/@4zebra2u/the-secret-***-life-we-keep-from-our-selves-7f227dbc6c4a

For witless wonder,
I wonder,
do its servants
chase
winkless
wrinkles
in time long-gone?
Is a thin piece
of cloth
so performative?
So political?
Or are you trailing
crescendoes of
long-tuneless
songs?

4/8/2023 WRITING
https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/l8njruxa73yee9b0jzmhd/The-Ultimate-Unabridged-Guide-to-Esoteric-Working-English-2.docx?­rlkey=kunoar7ghpfkb7fjk5xkdgx95&st=i84ornny&dl=0

THE JUDOGI YOUTHQUAKE YESTERTEMPEST YARAKS THAT SCALD THE BRIMBORIONS OF SCALARIFORM PEDIGREE IN CORDWAINER CONTORTIONS OF VAURIEN ELITISM THAT THE SCHMEGGEGY OF SCHWARMEREI BECOMES THE RADICALISM OF ABSORBED NUTRITION IN VENOSTASIS FOR THE VENOCLYSIS OF SYRINXES THAT DEFEAT THE PODEX OF PNYX BECAUSE THE SYRINGES OF TIME ELECT THE ENCHANTMENT OF FUTURE RESOFINCULAR DISTRACTIONS AND DIVERSIONS OPERATIVE IN FLUX BETWEEN STEREODIMENSIONAL FIDELITY AND THE FENNEC OF FEALTY TO THE LANDLORDED PLOUGHSHARES OF DEADSTOCK DEASIL CONTORTIONS FOR SCARAMOUCHES OF SACRILEGE TO FIND THEIR FINIFUGAL DEFEAT IN THE MYOPIC HEDONISM OF THEIR FOISONS OF FRANIONS BECAUSE OF FRIGORIC LORE CONTAMINATED BY ALGEDONIC IMBALANCES SCREWBALL IN ANTITICHTHON FOR THE AURILAVES OF OPTIMIZED ARCHITECTONICS. THE SCRIVELLOS OF CELLARER RHADAMANTINE RANCORS OF TRUCULENT DRACONIANISM BECAUSE OF WIELDLESS INSUFFICIENCIES IN BROWBEATS OF EARWIG VANGERMYTES TRYING WITH PHUGOID GROUNDPROX MIGHT THEY STOKE THE STOKEHOLD BRITSKAS OF ELEMENTAL ALCHEMY AGENTIC AGAINST THE ACORIA OF ACCIDIA IN THE WILELESS AISLINGS OF HANDSPIKE UTILITARIANISM FOR GHAWAZIS THAT SUBORN IN ETCHED CAMOUFLETS OF WALDFLUTES IN ENCHANTMENT TO BECOME BARNSTORMS OF BARRULETS THAT THE BARCAROLE OF CATAPLEXY BECOMES MORE IMMUNE TO FUTURE SHOVELS OF DISCORD IMMERGENT IN ALL AUTOGNOSIS DEPRIVED FROM HAUBERKS OF DISPLAY AND GLORIFIED FILEMOTS OF GOVERNED DURATIVE PILLORIES THAT BECOME A SOLDIERED IGNOMINY. THERE IS A RAREFIED AVINOSIS ENCOURAGING THE STELLIONS OF SYNAPHEA IN ENCAUSTIC GRIDLOCK BECAUSE OF SALAMANDROID CORDWAINER VERSATILITIES THAT ARE THE TAXIDERMY OF SKELETONIZED CRENELLATED ANTEPONES THAT BECOME BERSATRICES FOR PAST GLAMOUR DISTORTED BY INTRORSE AUGENDS OF ARENAIDAN STATOLITHS THE BROCKFACED ENDEAVORS OF RECTITUDE IN RETROSPECTION BECAUSE OF RETROMORPHISIS FOUNDED BY THE DISCRETION OF THE FUTURE SUCH THAT THE ANGARY OF DEBILITATION ACCELERATES A SYSTEM OF DIMINISHED CASUALTIES AMONG THOSE THAT FUNNEL THROUGH FORESIGHT REFRACTED BY PRISMS OF OMPHALISM THAT THE OUTGENERALED CAPACITY TO SARANGOUSTY BECOMES THE CENTRAL HARBINGER OF DEFALCATION THAT  DESTROYS THE BASTIONS OF EVIL LURCHING IN CLAMBERED AUSPICES TRYING TO INVAGINATE THE IATRALIPTIC JARVEYS TRYING THE CADRANS OF RETCHED SPODIUM IN CLADOGENESIS NOW AUTHORED BY THE PARTIAL VICTORS OF WORLD CONFLICTS BECAUSE THEY TUNNEL THROUGH THEIR WIDESPREAD REACH OF RECONNAISSANCE THAT THE MIGHT CONQUER NATIONS JUST TO BURROLE  EVERY SECRET DENEHOLE IN EVERY GREATER CONFLICT SUCH THAT THE RICHES OF THE TROVES OF THE PERJURED IGNOMINY OF CONQUEST WILL NEVER BELITTLE ITSELF AS A PREROGATIVE WAGERED PAXILLOSE UPON THE TRENCHANT ORTHODOXY OF WAR AGAINST THE ATTRITION OF ATTINGENT AND ATTEMPERED TITRATION OF VILE VIOLENCE IN THE HEYDAY OF KRISTALNACHT WHICH BECAME THE HARVEST OF MAIDEN NOVANTIQUE IN AN ERA THAT NOW KOWTOWS TO CALIPACES OF ABIGAILS WITH GAMMERSTANG NOTORIETY THAT SPHACELATES ITSELF VERTIGINOUS BUT PROTECTED FROM SPIRACULATED SUBINTELLIGENTUR MAINLINED BANDELETS BECAUSE THE SUTLERS OF A SECTILE WORLD HAVE RENOWN UPON THEIR OWN RECURSIVE ELITISM BECAUSE OF THE UMLAUTS OF WHITTAWERS RATHER THAN WITTOLS BEREAVED BY WHISKERANDAS WHO EARN CIPPUSTURE FROM ULTRAGEOUS RAGE APPLIED TO THE HEAPSTEAD OF MOULIN VEESES THAT STRENGTHEN THE INCUMBENT ECONOMETRIC ANALYSIS OF ALL PAST STRIFE CULMINATING IN UNIVERSAL EUDAEMONISM BECAUSE THE UMBRILS OF TERRORISM IN UMBRACIOUS SUFFRAGE MIGHT AMOUNT TO THE GREATER CRUCIBLE OF ESBATS BECOMING ROTUND IN THEIR CONCEALMENT OF THEIR OLM PEDIGREE IN APIKOROS STATURE WHICH BOWED TO THE PRESENT RATHER THAN ACKNOWLEDGING THE ENNOMIC REVULSIONS OF THE REVANCHE OF PAST LITTORAL EMBANKMENTS. IMPORTUNATE SQUALOR OF JAWHOLES IN CAMARADERIE OF JURYMASTS THAT ESPOUSE THE VENIREMEN OF RHABDOMANCY WHICH ARE SUSSULTATORY BECAUSE THE FEWER PROMONTORIES OF PRICKLY CULVERTAGE RAISING A TRIBULOID CARTHAGE OF THE CARNAGE OF REVELING RAVISHES OF ULTIMATUM BECAUSE OF BRONTEUM THAT IS SPECULAR IN ITS OWN DISDAIN BECAUSE IT ROUSES THE CHARLATAN TO DISMOUNT UPON HIS PLUMAGE TO THE PENMANSHIP OF A WORLD ON THE BRINK OF ICEBLINKS REGISTERED BY CLAVIS AND THE CLAVATE OF RIGMAROLE ROUNDED BY TIMMYNOGGIES OF SATRAPS THAT SPARTAN EMPLOYERS OF CEMENTUM SPAR WITH THE BARGEMASTERS OF BARKENTINE BALLASTERS OF HAUBERKS OF THE SPELEOTHEM OF STUPULOSE SEQUESTRATION IN RAGDOLL REMIGATIONS THAT SWIRL INTO VERTIGO BECAUSE OF VORAGINOUS CENTRIFUGE EMBALMED BY TITANISM IN ENGROSSED TRAPEZE OF TRACTION IN TRAMONTANE GROOMERS OF LIVID LORE RATHER THAN BUTTRESSES OF HORRIFIED MASKIROVKA IN BALATRONS OF BEAMISH BOUNTIES CAROUSING THE CAJOLE OF CONTUMELY BEYOND THE CARNAPTIOUS FITS OF CATAPLASM IN METAPOLITICS BECAUSE OF THE FISSION OF NUCLEOTIDES INTO THE PERCOLATED CARAPACE AND TESTUDO TESTIMONY TO THE ARCHAEOLATRY OF DISCOVERED INNUENDO BERGAMASK RIJUICE IN PARCHMENT CORRADED FROM RUNAGATE FLAKMENTION BECAUSE OF BELLETRIST FOUND IN THE SUMPTER OF SUNDOGS BECOMING MORE PALATABLE TO THE CULTURAL IMPERATIVES OF TIMEWORN FENESTRAL WANIGANS FOR THE CAREWORN ANTIPATHY TO RECEDE BENEATH THE CRAVEN CAVERNS OF CAMISOLE DENTICLES OF IMPUDENCE. THE RATCHET OF SUBACTION WHICH IS NEVER AN INTEMERATION OF BRITSKAS OF  SCHMEGGEGY BECAUSE OF RANCID NEUTROSOPHY WHICH IMBREVIATES THE RADICALIZED IMPERTINENCE OF GLOWERING IMPOSTURE OF WHIGGARCHY BECAUSE OF MASCARONS THAT DRIVE MAHOUTS TO THE BRINKS OF DESTRUCTION MIGHT THE SCALARIFORM REPUTE OF PEDIGREE AMONG DOOMSTERS OF DRAGOONING WHIPSTAFFS THAT FORM THE UNDERBELLY OF TAFFRAIL PREROGATIVES THAT UNDERGOES RETROMORPHISIS WHEN IT IS FETED BY PRIMIPARAS OF RAISONNEUR DISREGARD PRIMARILY BECAUSE OF TITANIC NOYADES OF FOLLY BROWBEATED BY LIFEBOATS AT THE EDGE OF KATABOTHRONS BECAUSE OF THEIR TRENCHANT FORESIGHT RATHER THAN RUDDY COMPLEXIONS OF INTRANSIGENCE UPON GRAVID MOUNTENANCE ABOVE THE RALLYING CAUSES OF THRUSH AND THRESHING GNATS OF TRIBAL SHIBBOLETH SUCH THAT THE TOWERING DEMASSIFICATION OF THE VENEREAL SIDLING TILT OF TORMENTS OF ABARTICULAR TERRORISM IN REVANCHE AGAINST THE BARNSTORM OF OUTSIDE MALCONTENT RATHER THAN INTERIOR BONFIRES OF BONHOMIE THAT STRENGTHEN THE NUCLEAR FAMILY FOR AN AGE OF STOPING STULMS THAT SERRATED SOCKDOLAGERS FAIL TO BREAK NETTLESOME NESH REGARDS PRIMARILY INCIDENTAL TO THE METAPLASM OF ALL DISCORD DIFFUSIONS THAT TROUNCE ULTERIOR DAYS OF YESTERTEMPEST BECAUSE OF YIRDS AGAINST THE PEOPLE THAT ARE SWORN TO UPHOLD THE YOGIBOGEYBOX THAT IS THE SWORD THAT DESTROYS THE BASTIONS OF EVIL WHENEVER THEY ARISE BY DISCOVERING EVERY SERENDIPITY AND AGGREGATING EVERY TRIBULATION CHALLENGED BY DEGREES OF INSUFFICIENCY BEYOND THE OLIMS OF REMIGATION RELEGATED BENEATH THE CAVERNS OF INTREPID TORCHIERS OF LAMBENT LOVE AND BRINKMANSHIP. ISOVOL MAZUT BECOMES A MAZOPATHIA OF ABIGAILS TOWERING IN THE VERTIGO OF THEIR OWN CELSITUDE MIGHT THEY REVANCHE ALL THE MAJOR PREROGATIVES OF HIERARCHICAL SUFFICIENCY OF PATRIARCHY BECAUSE THEIR BROCKFACED BRONCHOS AGAINST INTREPID AND PIONEERING BRITSKAS IN ALL OF THE SOCIAL SCIENCES REMANDING THE IZZAT AND IVRESSE OF EVIL NEUTRALIZED POLTROONS THAT THE STOMACHERS OF TRINKLING RETROGRESSION IN REMOTION OF TOURBILLONS BECAUSE OF EDGY FLOWERING BUMBOATS OF BUMICKY BADIGEON WHICH ELECTS THE NOMOGENY AND NOMENCLATORS WHO SUSTAIN THE ETHOS OF A TIME OF TRIMLY HEDGED BLUDGEONS OF CARNIFICINE YELTINGS THAT SPAR AGAINST SPARTAN YELMS IN THE YIPS OF JUMART DEBAUCHERY THAT NEEDS TO BE REDRESSED BY THE ADVANCED UMBRILS THAT SUSTAIN THE GROWING CATAPULT OF ISOTHERMOBATH THAT ENDANGERS EVERY HOLOBENTHIC AUTHENTICITY THAT THEY MIGHT MALINGER AROUND PROVINCIAL VINEGAROONS WHO TWIRE WITH THE TYMPANY OF RESONANCE AMONG RALTENTION FOR THE UPPER HOUSE OF JORDANS TO BURROLE THE JEOPARDIZED DEPTHS OF SPODOMANCY THAT IS OFTEN IGNORANT OF CLADOGENESIS FOR REASONS OF EGALITARIAN MISTETCHES THAT FAIL TO ENCOUNTER STOCKINETTE PRIMARILY BECAUSE THE PURBLIND RECTOPATHIC AGENCY OF THOSE SUBLIME TITANS OF TITANISM MIGHT SWERVE AWAY FROM A USEFUL JAUNDICE BECAUSE SUCH A TRIBULOID OPTIMUM MIGHT BE THE DISCOVERED SPRINGBOK WHICH IMPROVES BY STULTIFYING THE SKELETONS OF JAMDANI THAT THEREBY THE RAGGED RAGDOLL JOLLY RANCHER SOCIETY OF INDOLENCE BECOMES MORE AMBITIOUS BECAUSE OF THE STANHOPE OF GROWING  STANNARIES OF THIGMOTAXIS IN CAREFUL TRIAGE AROUND STANDPIPES THAT COUNTERACT ENTHYMEMES OF NIVELLATION AMONG THE GROWING REGARD OF SUSSULTATORY SPAVINEDS THAT GROW IMPATIENT BECAUSE OF THE WROTH OF MUGIENCE IN WHEATENED CITIES EMBEDDED BECAUSE OF THE WHEELHOUSE WHEALS THAT SUSTAIN THEM INTO BRACKISH OLIVASTERS OF THE PERFORMATIVE GRACES OF OUR HERALDED HEYDAY OF TIME INFORMING PAST ZEITGEISTS WITH FUROR AND MACROBIAN MEGALOGRAPHY TO ISSUE THE  GROWTH OF TIMES HONORED BY THE GHAWAZI AND THE JARABE ALIKE. THE STANG OF BANGTAILS OF THE ARENAIDAN ERAS WHERE THE ARGALI OF ENCHANTMENT WAS A VEXATIOUS ***** OF FULGURANT NOMOGRAPHY BECAUSE IN THE MANIFEST DESTINY OF THE SOCKDOLAGER EDICTS OF THE PAST THAT SCORCH FROM THE SQUALLS OF FREEBOOTER WALLETEERS THAT USE WHELKY IN THE BARNSTORM OF GROWING WALDGRAVES WHICH BECOME CENTRIPETAL TO BYRE IN THE NEUTROSOPHY OF ACELDAMA IN CONTENTIOUS VIVAT BECAUSE OF VARSAL VISCIDITY WHICH DECLARES ITSELF THE HONORIFIC CAPTAIN OF ALL BETOKENED TIMES BECAUSE WE CANNOT WITHSTAND THE BEBLUBBERED MAUDLIN PATINAS OF WHIGGARCHY BECAUSE OF BRAZEN BOLDFACED BALD EAGLE PATRIOTISM BECAUSE OUR BLINKERED AGE IS ONE REGNANT UPON NEBBICH PALLOR OF CETACEAN EMBRACERY WE MIGHT DISCOVER THAT OUR PAST BRONCHOS OF THE CELEBRATED PARAGONS TOO LUMINOUS TO BE REGARDED PROPERLY BY THE CONTRITION OF MERCY IN MERCILESS TIMES WE HONOR THE PEOPLE THAT DEMARCHE FOR FUTURE POLITY BY EXHIBITING THE BOLD FRONTIER OF REVOLUTIONARY WIREWOVEN SCIENTIFIC AUTARKY THAT BECOMES MORE AND MORE ENTRENCHED IN PRAGMATIC REFORM IN CONSERVATION OF RESOURCES AND SCALED AND SCOPED ECONOMIES THAT UNDERSTAND THE PROBLEMS THAT AFFLICT BODACHES AND THE PROBLEMATIC JAUNDICE OF SENICIDE BECAUSE OF A NIDOLOGY INCOGNIZANT OF REVERENT DOYENNE AND SITHCUNDMAN WHO WEATHERED THE IGNORANCE OF TIME LIKE GROGNARDS THAT ARE OFTEN DISPLACED BY THE WAINAGE OF WAPENTAKE AND MANIPULATED INTO POPULAR FUROR BECAUSE OF THE NIVELLATION OF THEIR ATTENTIVE CANVAS OF PURBLIND PUTRID OSSIFICATIONS OF RAGMATICAL RANTIPOLE HATRED THAT MOBILIZES AGAINST AGENCY AND INVOKES LACKADAISICAL RAMSHACKLE ELASTANE LAZINESS. IN OSTENTATION WE BELEAGUER EMPTYSIS PRIMARILY DERIVED FROM FRACTURES IN THE SCAFFOLDED ARCHITECTONICS OF AURILAVE INDOCTRINATION TOWARDS THE SCHMEGGEGY THAT DEFILES MANY HONORED ARGUMENTS WITH THE PLUMAGE OF DISTRACTION FOR PRIMORDIAL BALUSTRADES INCULCATING PAST SARVODAYA ATTEMPTS INTO THE POPULAR SCOURGES OF IMAGINATIVE GLEE THAT BECOMES THE SPECTER OF ALL ATTENUATED FORESIGH THAT DENOUNCES THE UPSTARTS WHO ATTEMPT TO MODULATE MERCURIAL ENVIRONMENTS WITH AUTHORITATIVE SQUALLS THAT SPAWN SEMINAL MOVEMENTS THAT OFTEN YIELD UNHINGED CLOVERYIELDS THAT ARE COMPLETELY FINIFUGAL AND RAMBUNCTIOUS BECAUSE OF THE TAMARAWS WHO SEEK TO ENDEAVOR BEYOND CLIFFHANGER JUSTICE TO ENTHRONE A NEWER INSIDIOUS DIKEPHOBIA BECAUSE OF NIDIFUGOUS INSISTENCE OF NANCIFULLY NIDAMENTAL DISAGREEMENTS THAT DISDAIN THE POSTCENNIUM WITH IDEOLOGY GLISTENING BY FACADE BECAUSE IT FAILS TO SHIMMER IN THE DEEPER AND DARKER RETROSPECTION OF HINDSIGHT CORRADED ONLY FROM ELEMENTS OF PARVANIMITY AND BARYEICOIA. THE DIFFUSE PROTRACTION OF THE DIESTRUS BY THE UPSTAYS OF COACERVATED DIABLERISM CHARGING RACKRENT FOR PETTY PRESBYTERY PRIVILEGES IS A GOUGED HUCKSTER OF URCEOLATE TIMBERLASK JAMDANI STEENBOKS TRYING WITH URGENT URCHINS TO DESICCATE THE ENVIRONS IN EVERY SPANERIA TO ENSURE THAT THE RHADAMANTHINE ENVY OF THE GAUNTLET OF EVIL BALATRONS PARADING THEIR COSTERMONGERS TO BODACH VEGETABLES TREATED OFTEN WITH GERRYMANDERED SENICIDE MIGHT THEY RIG EVERY ELECTION WITH THE PSEPHOLOGY OF AN EVIL JUMART THAT WORKS AGAINST MESSIANIC TRIBUNES OF TRUTH BECAUSE OF THE BALDERDASH OF CRACKJAW MACROPICIDE PRIMARILY OUSTED BY THE ENTRYISM OF MEHARIS PREPOSSESSED AS WALLETEERS OF THE BILKEY OF WHELKY TO EMBATTLE THE SOCKDOLAGERS OF ISOLATION AS A TRIBULOID STOCKINETTE IN PURBLIND RECENSED REVERSAL OF RETROMORPHOSIS. WE CANNOT STAND APART IN APARTHEID BECAUSE OF THE DIACOPES INFLICTED BY THE ENVIRONMENTAL SKULLDUGGERY OF THE ELECTIVE PRIVILEGE OF TESTUDOS OF AILING MALADROIT AISLINGS OF ONEIRODYNIA BECAUSE OF LOLLOPING AND LOIMIC PLAGUES OF WANIGANS OF WANCHANCY RIGGED FOR FRIGOLABILE VANGERMYTES ATTEMPTING JATOS OF LICENTIOUS LICENSE AGAINST THE KENSPECKEL MEGALOGRAPHY OF PROMACHOS SUFFRAGE BECAUSE OF RIBALD AND COARSE ENVIES ABORIGINAL ONLY TO DULLARDS THAT PERVULGATE MYTHOS IN THEIR CORROSIVE WORLDVIEW SEEKING THE WIDEST FOOTPRINT OF CRETACEOUS BOWDLERIZATION IN A WEAK AND PALTRY INTEMERATION FOISTED BY THE WORST SORORICIDE OF FRATERNAL TRUST BECAUSE OF BROCKFACED VILLAINY TO TEMPESTUOUS TO IGNORE OR FLOUT BECAUSE THE STOKEHOLD SPOKESHAVEN WIDDERSHANCY OF CIPPUSTURE IS THE MIGHTIEST FORCE FOR UPHOLDING INTEGRITY EVER WAGERED ON CHRONOPSYCHOLOGY BECAUSE THE UPRIGHT URCEOLATE OCREATED CREATURES THAT EVADE EVERY NOYADE AND ANTICIPATE EVERY CHANDELLE MIGHT THEY REBUKE THE EVIL WEGOTISM CRIPPLING OUR TIMES WITH JIMSWINGERS THAT USE RAGMATICAL WHIPLASH AGAINST DRAMATIC WHIPSTAFF TO PARALYZE THE PROGRESS OF THE LONGEVITY OF TIME ITSELF PROTENSIVE IN DURESS TO SCAFFOLD THE BRIMBORIONS ABOVE THE BARRULETS BECAUSE OF CARDIMELECH PRAXEOLOGY. WE LIVE IN A VERY DISEASED WORLD THAT SEEKS IN ITS SICKEST HUES OF REVANCHE IN THE EXCLAVES OF TYRANNY OF MENTICIDE BECAUSE OF ORGANUILLES WE FIND THE DESPOTIC DESPERATION OF THE SURQUEDRY OF SURDOMUTE RETARDATION THE NEW APLOMB OF THE COUNTERCULTURAL DIABLERISM OF ALL SECULAR FORCES WORKING TOGETHER FOR DESTRUCTION RATHER THAN CIVILIZED CAMARADERIE WHICH IS BRAZEN ENOUGH TO SURVIVE EVERY WOODSHEDDER AND EVERY CHOMPING SHARK OF RADICATED TYRANNY OF TINSELLATED ABEYANCE BECAUSE OF OBROGATIONS IN INTERREGNUM. WE NEED TO DESTROY THE PEOPLE THAT INSEMINATE IN THE SEMINAL A CARNAL LUST THAT DEPRAVES ALL PERCOLATIONS SUCH  THAT THE HALKEND BECOMES A PARASELENIC PRACTICAL JOKE OF STULTIFICATION BECAUSE OF ROORBACKS ROARING AGAINST YERNAGE FOR SPECIOUS SOPHISTRY THAT MANACLES THE ONEIROCRITICISM OF AN UPRIGHT AGE OF OPHILIOPHILISTS RATHER THAN DECADENCE INSTRUCTED BY THE WORST MONGERY OF MONSTERS WHO CAROUSE AS INSOUCIANT PURVEYORS OF ADAMANTINE RIGORS OF STRAIN AND STRENUOUS DIVERSION. WE CANNOT STOMACH THE EVIL DIABLERISM OF GOETICS DERIVED FROM THE PERCEIVED SAMIZDAT WHICH PREVENTS ALL GEZELLIG AS A SICK CABALLINE PRACTICAL JOKE OF MOUNTAINS OF EVIL DISTRUST THAT WHERRET ALL MUSICIANS OF THE IAMATOLOGY AGAINST NOSOCOMIAL WHICKERS AND NEIGHING CAULDRONS OF MUGIENCE IN WROTH AROUND THE ISOLATION OF ONE PERSON FOR THE BOODLE OF ONE DERANGED ORGANIZATION WORKING IN EVERY ATTEMPT TO SABOTAGE ALL FREE MOVEMENT TOWARDS ENTELECHY AGAINST THE BETTER ASPECTS OF WHIGGARCHY OFTEN DEFAMED BY THE PERJURORS OF EVIL FLAMBEAUS THAT SEEK COMESTION AND CONFLAGRATION REGARDLESS OF THE NIDOR BECAUSE OF THE INTRANSIGENCE OF THE SUBTERNATURAL COSSETED PETS OF AUTHORITARIAN REGRESS IN THE STENCH OF  RANCID TRUCULENCE TRUCKLING ITSELF TO ROTUND EVIL OBLATE NUTATION IN MENDACITY.

I try to avoid
writing about you:

I consult with
deep sleep and music
instead, but

They lack what
poems have:
a permanent place
in performative space,

A sight full shape: like
the scent of your name exhaled
from the back of my throat.

I admit: time did not
properly permit love to
become anything more than
a thing that could have been done,
But

I've missed you,
                              -somehow-
I missed you,
                         -there are times, still-
I miss you

side hugs are like
performative wokeness;
shallow, flaky, meaningless
convenient, censored -
appealing, yes?
appeasing, too, i guess.

but no
i demand the real deal
furnish me with both arms
disregard my weak frame,
i promise, i wont break
let me have it
im not a snowflake
just a girl who
likes to take
on the world
with hugs
as her weapon of choice.

It's getting harder but easier all at the same time
I stand in a haze; no longer performative
It used to be an act but I entertain the flies like worn out hazards
Maybe the reason you hate yourself is because it reminds you of what you can't have, which included me
& The days of confusion.
I'll go now

I got a text from one of my professors yesterday saying, ‘Please stop by my office at 6 pm tomorrow.’ It didn’t say why. This was the first day after November recess, had I missed something? That night, I’d gone through the syllabus, checking every recent and upcoming assignment - I was grable. But there I was, the next evening, waiting nervously - my anxiety stripped of context.

I was one of three waiting in the hall. There was a guy and a girl there too. There were only two chairs, so I stood, and stood, set my bookbag down and stood. As the minutes rolled by. I resented them - each - individually.  It was 6:05, I had a class at 7pm but it was just down the hall.

Then the girl was called and the guy moved to the chair next to the door. I sagged into his vacated chair. It was wooden and stiff but it beat standing. I pulled my AirPods out of my bookbag and started a playlist called, “Me and the devil.” The music was hard-rock, bluesy and raunchy, but not distracting for reading.

I picked the textbook for my next class out of my bag but it was no go. I found myself re-reading everything. The girl came out of the office about five minutes later - she looked upset. The guy then knocked and was admitted.

I moved over next to the door and checked my watch. I’d been there twenty-five minutes, and it was 6:15. The guy was out in moments - he looked ok, his movements quick and business-like. I double-tapped my right Air Pod to pause the music and picked up my bookbag. The professor couldn’t see me, his window was frosted, at most I would have been a shadow.

The door was open so I peered inside, before I could knock, he looked up, as if he’d felt the pressure of my gaze. “Mz. Vionet,” he said, he didn’t smile but held his hand palm up, motioning to a chair in front of his desk.
“You’d emailed me about a reference (back in September),” he began. (In order to get into a Med school, you have to have X number of recommendations - this was something my mom had insisted I ask my professors for early.)

As he talked, something struck me. I’d heard him talking to the guy before me and he seemed to talk to me more quietly, as if I were fragile. “What are your graduate study goals?” He asked.

As I talked, I watched the way he listened to me. He looked down at his fingernails, turning them over like they were new and unknown. I was suddenly afraid this was an act of performative boredom. "****,” I thought, “he’s going to stall or turn me down.” I felt my face grow hot, but I continued, although I could feel myself deflate a bit.

By the time I was done explaining my med-school ambitions and how I’d been grinding away on M-CAT prep (the Med-school admissions test that I’ll take next summer), in my spare time, I felt spent.

He looked up and nodded. “Well,” he said, opening the top drawer of his desk and extracting a sealed envelope, “you’re certainly killing it here. I have no doubt you’ll do well on your M-CAT.”
He smiled broadly as he handed me the envelope. “Let me know if there’s anything else you need.”
I reached for the envelope, almost in a daze. It felt papery, thick, solid and almost electric.
“Thank YOU!” I’d said, bouncing out of my seat with relief. I somehow stopped myself from giving him a giddy Elvis impression, “Thank you, Thank you vera mush.”

I think I floated to my next class.

Why you're excellent, as you be
Back data assets up & rebooty
Whatcha building over there?
Performative nicety vs. Authentic, genuine care
De-meaning words doesn't strip content of potency, accuracy, just shows a lack of imagination, creativity, care and clarity
Lords of the land were supposed to provide, not take money and chide
Vortexial resonance fields vs. Resistance
Hieros Gamos herostratus and burnt bridges
Hail Mary not pass her like a go-round, no wonder lede was buried instead of being lifted off the ground
Multitask, switchtask, background processes outlast
Self determinaton, loose will, neuromuscular triggering labours past
Anything not bringing ease is a labour, and deserves wage fees if benefitting other deities~
Ancienne previous
Nothing is actually mine
Pop a Placebo fx 2 see
Kaliki Golden Dark Horse Energy
Iku-tihku Emuu Tavatar
Star avatars
Like cutting down a tree to make woodrose
If we're all just a mirror hallucination of eachother, what do you think/say about other people?
Not comprehending something doesnt mean there isn't something profound there to be learned.
Preference of another, is momentary, but crucial
That might involve friction, challenge, and confrontation of a situation
Articulation, translation, communication
Jokes for me, heyoka for yew
Devi takes the W - yew enjoy deviw
If you think I exist amazingly in suffering, I will be brilliant when in capacity and happy... as we all will be...
Multiplayer co-op, not a pvp~ complex single player co-op, actually, where your judge is actually the best form of yourself that knows everything.
If you say so, but why you say it so?
New blood type found, kin
Filleth cups over, use surplus - don't use and discard humans like batters, maximum efficiency and pull energy from excess
Dynamic flow hyperpower
Gimme back those wyrds, spellcasting songs
Palindromic poorroop, soonoos operepo infinifni
When did nerds
What if? (deities song)
"That sounds like a personal issue" preferences vs. judgements, comprehension in communication.
Lemme honour the ancestors by being phi-nominal, matrilineal matroshka polka
Add a yet to it
Immortality vs. Immorality
The Garden of Idun, Yew Tree, Asherah - Pomme de Sang
Tryna be your friend
Kira mari kin, what's your name?
Eagles are pretty vultures that are known by the sound of a hawk.
Heibai try-angles
Wicked faeries and loyal opposition
The mandlebrot set crux point - the chosen
Buoy oh boats
Original thot
Tmesis Pie
What do you want?
Yet to cry, sing or shout at full volume - I care about others around me more than myself, cause I can handle disappointment.
The art of self-deselection
Packets of neuronic bundles
Sympathetic resonant frequencies
Waiting at the finnish line, for another laplander
Standing in the way of flow makes the ******
monkeys comprehend disparity - fight for fairness, rules and bananas
Praise, flattery, advice & criticism
Clarifying Questions~
Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth, heaven in the astral field
Don't insult your spirit, (can't you hear it?) By copying others.
Can't fool aether, just lie to the self, system be as it is...
Phi-bonna-chi arch and phi-nominal, additionally
Notice what's around
Add what came before
Songs for childish humans
Would a purehearted child stick around to watch?
Perpetual children
Pitch For Kin
Betta zen Mama
Biblios, early facebook, deities spelling it out
X-pyred corpse used to be a nest
Sometimes we have to hear a concept 1000x before it clicks.
Gender is temporary, spirit is not
Pjeunian paradise pleasurecraft
Diff between humans & computers - strange programming languages
Horoscopic cylons
A boy named Susanoo and the story of the sun & moon
Neutrinos and Muons they do what they wanna - Snarky Quarky Boogie
Timey Wimey Jeremy Beremy Hobson Jobson
kulukuset & kolokola: tintinambulation
Can I talk around it?
In the spiritual caste system watchers are worse than golems cause they are everybody's follower, thus lowest wrung... eye in the sky, if it's a wicked eye, is basically just perspective... they are beneath all, just egotistically trapped

High praise:
Ultrasonic Wavecore
Doo be dabbas, da double dragons
Electric eels of sol
Big dumb babies
Wild child doom baby
Perpetual Unicorn of Learning
Pounding Piano Puppies

Two dudes in the cornah touchin tipz, too busy with the space en-forcah heibai brudderhood to care for diz.

Accidental Leakage:
Ron noR recappin ** down
Buttlenecked middlemen chugging diarrhea in a filthy trickledownz system
sense-a-bull
Time-tellingTriangularizartion
Sassy rebukes in the moment instead of beta ****** gossipers when a person can't defend themselves...
******* singing
Hallelu-sin-nation
Cause 7 8 9

I went on a date with my ex
A day after what was supposed to be our one year anniversary

It’s almost like it was a first date, that the timing said the clocks reset and it was all new

Everything was perfect, between the tears.

The sun was gentle enough to be warming as his touch, as his fingers danced over my back as we sat on a log, talking non-stop like making up for lost time, but feeling that no time had passed at all.

The wind was sweet and blew my hair just enough for him to brush it away, and his eyes were more beautiful than ever before, though lacquered in tears of longing.

Every silence was punctuated with an “I love you”, sometimes said, and sometimes just felt in the tightening of a hug.

Everything fit together just right, and there was no awkwardness between our bodies as they settled into their comfortable familiarity, his shoulder a perfect rest, and my waist a home for his arms, it was so perfect I almost didn’t feel it at all.

I can’t even write about our kisses, punctuating pauses like commas, illicit like a last cigarette.

Coming out of the conversation, nothing really changed.

Everything he said was perfect, and without a shred of begging or manipulation. Everything was said with deep love and care, but no pretension. No gesture was performative, no sentence rehearsed, but everything he said was the most beautiful poetry.

I knew that while we had both changed so much, although our paths crossed so sweetly, we still were going in different directions.

We walked through an unfamiliar park, somewhere we hadn’t been before, and as we walked back to go, I thought about paths crossing and looping. Maybe we’re on a little loop that will rejoin later, maybe we’re going to just keep getting further apart.

Sometimes I see a tree or a branch that makes me think maybe we’re on the same path again — maybe the wait is over — but I’ve never been here before. He’s never been here before.

We both know what we want (each other), there’s just still something in the way.

I’ll love you forever, and I will treasure today so dearly.

We can’t be together and we can’t really be friends, but I’m not sure how to be apart.

I’ve never really understood running away, but I sometimes feel like I could give it all up for you.

I know you would never ever ask me to, and that’s part of why I love you.

Its Sunday.
His hands shake slightly, almost imperceptibly
As he grips the tongs
Fumbling over charred fish fingers

Neck bent over in performative stoop
He smiles, cracks a joke
That no one is willing to indulge
More than a faint pull of a smile

There is a cliché wrench at the heart
When he offers up a peace treaty of onion rings
And we maintain our front line
Face stony, eyes squinting in polite apology

An attempt at communication
Barely there
I urge with quiet eyes that while I may not be an ally,
I refuse to become the enemy.

I think perhaps we will spend the rest of our Weekly Sundays
In this warm weather
Waging battles of steadfastness and humility and onion rings in our heads.

It not easy going up against God’s Peoples
Date your wound
Picked your fights,

"Debates test the performative aspect of leadership: stamina, mental agility
as viewers we all know the mental agility of some of them:"

You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Revolt in 2100/Methuselah's Children

Poets should get together and debates,
The inner thoughts of each other:
We are in the heat of this pandemic
The thought of not knowing,
Who family member would get that awful text
It’s not  so easy to go up against God’s people
Remember the world,
Picked your fights,

Something is going on in this world that isn’t rights
When the God given talent of man is used to destroy\
Others, it should be taken away.

If you use your time wisely, God will give you more time. If you use your energy wisely, God will give you more energy.** Quote:

i.
I do not hate men. I do not rue the day you were born. I do not sit with my friends and think of ways to hurt you back. I do not egg your car or sign you up for spam mailing lists. I do not fantasize of casting a hex on you. I do not ruminate the many ways in which I want you to fail. I do not stay awake at night wondering how you can be so careless with another person’s beating heart. I especially do not miss you.

ii.
All the Bell Hooks in the world could not save you now. All the palo santo and sage can’t undo what you’ve done. All the quasi therapy speak of intentionality and avoidant attachment won’t turn back the clock. All the protests you attend or statistics you repost cannot scrub away your sins. Who are you without an audience? Who are you in the dark? Oh, how well I know you now.

iii.
I liked all that you said before, but for your information, you lied.
So, save your words or swallow them. I no longer want to be known by you. You’re nothing but a lost thing. Honorless, a mercenary, a slave to those intrusive thoughts. A performer, an actor, a dancing monkey and I am your ***** grinder.

‘Tired’ has lost its meaning and value.
But synonyms feel inorganic, staged.

‘Exhausted’ holds a performative flare,
’Sleepy’ a sickening innocence.
I’m searching for a rough kind of simplicity,
Something to express both distress and lacklustre,
To be an agent for your understanding.

With one word I want your expectation to die.
Tired, I want you to understand that I’m,
Just tired.

1.
sunlight prisms through beveled glass
aging oak door squeaks      open      shut

only blue emerges      verging on violet
mixing three-alarm-fire red in buckets

spattered with streams of coagulated paint
safely      the room turns        sea      sky

the color of my faulty iris      too much
light pours through its torn surface

2.
reality wears no aura or crown      only
glare and double imagery      to see things

twice is to reap the whirlwind      from
my doppelganger to twin oak branches

high above my fertile lawn      two is a blue
number      prime and insinuating      duplicating

the snake in Eden      pairs of vipers slither
at my feet      vision is performative      it acts

out      toward what it beholds      a shivering
subject defenseless against the label

object        hopeless to transform
itself in front of the spying Other

3.
light refracts      refracts      spreading thin
to bathe the authentic self      the true

self      the self who will not squint away from
blue      who will not pour red into

prisms to alchemize        purple      most royal
of colors      oligarch of hybrid hues

by divine design        purple rules      the field of vision
before it        all things shiver as one

in dual dimensions      they recite their
names      twice      the authentic serf      the true serf

4.
backs break under burdens of vision      serfs
march double-file        into exile      their way

draped in regal tunics of purple      their way raked clear
of signs      of double vision      twice color blind

my eyes turn inward      away from purple
seeped forever in      shades of  b    l    u    e

Nobody belongs to me
You don't belong to me
I wish you did, I wish this was permanent but love is temporary like life itself
It's conditional
I get sick and withdraw as a result and I feel you pull back
I see your performative displays, pictures for everyone but me
Attention elsewhere the second I don't supply it
And I'm content;
I already knew this, but it still hurts.
It hurts knowing that all we built were words
You'll never be mine,
It was just my turn