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"patting" poems
extra long vintage convertible car. notice my big shoe size, do I know what that really means? extra little lies on top of giant whoppers. the number of figures on their W-2, and my measurements and cup-size, please. please treasure their perspicacious needs.   what’s with the obsession with size? won’t sleep with them on the first date, they are shocked, just shocked, when informed on the dotted line that a hundred dinners won’t turn me into their personal come-when-called ***** at nineteen, by now, I should know better, do as I’m told what’s this obsession with hurry up, immediate satisfaction? and patting my head like i’m their favorite pet, mansplaining me how the world works, cause at nineteen I don’t know **** just listen to the know-not-a-damn thing arrogance of knowing it all impress themselves what’s this need to be superior but a huge (size) coverup? yeah yeah, get me a better class of men, like my literate professors who will improve my grade for use of the insights of my mouth on their poetic gestures. I can wait, till I find a right sized human being, in every which way, especially if he shows me the true love poems writ for other girls, then I may even trust him, sooner than never
0
Jul 21, 2018
Jul 21, 2018 at 4:30 PM UTC
how men sell themselves to me
Wet nose, four paws, and a wagging tail follow right beside me on an uncharted trail. We're exploring, but just what for? National treasure or maybe folklore? He doesn't know and neither do I. On a day like this we don't need to ask why. I stop for a break and he looks right at me. "C'mon Dev. Let's make it snappy." I can't disappoint those big brown eyes. He never complains, frowns, or tells lies. His only intention is to insure I'm happy. So I stand back up and give him a patting. We march on in search of who knows. Through the highest highs and the lowest lows, There is always an adventure just around the bend. He's not only a puppy - he's my hairy best friend.
0
Aug 31, 2018
Aug 31, 2018 at 2:41 AM UTC
Hairy Best Friend
I was asked today "what are you really into?" while I was walking to film class. He had changed direction with a flair of drama and was walking along, interrogating me. I had to think. I wondered how I would answer his question, were it posed by someone I was interested in. "I like the smell of hormones colliding, omnipotent in their decision to do so and in doing it." Could I say that? "I like to feel like a hormone," or "I like being a hormone." Were these answers? "I like patting my contracted ******* against the ***** majora of my partner." "I like sewing," I might say. That is, the idea that if I push and she opens both testicles and ******** may pop inside. Like a **** needle pulling a ***** thread through a tight weave. I laugh, imagining what the little man would say, but he doesn't know why. "Stitch her up, Doctor!" I'm laughing. He just says "you know, I'm into chemistry, biology. Just tell me what you're into." I've been silent. Is he still walking with me? All I think to say is "music" pointing to the earbuds dangling over my chest, song interrupted by his pedantry. He says "you've always liked music" as if we've had this conversation before. As if we know each other. And it seems like he will follow me to class. And sit by me. And talk about chemistry and biology while we discuss Singin' in the Rain. Hormones, sewing and music.
0
Sep 21, 2012
Sep 21, 2012 at 12:50 AM UTC
Hormones, sewing, music
We sat at the table, waiting for our number to be called. Their pepperoni pizza, was our most favorite one of all. Our number is announced, George is carrying the pizza back. When close, he decides to act, as though he trips in his tracks. In slow motion, that pizza, slid so smoothly out of the pan. George's eyes got big as saucers, he saw the folly of his plan. There I was in my new outfit, that cost half of my paycheck. With pizza, upside down on my lap and sauce splashed on my neck. Amazingly calm, George scooped the pizza up in his hands. Melted cheese, stretching and stringing, from my pants in gooey strands. He stood there patting and pressing the pizza back into shape. That poor pizza looked just like a badly, bulldozered landscape. It lay there sort of twisted, pepperoni all to one side. Crust pieces stinking out of it, like a saucy red mudslide. Then he sat down across from me, silently as if waiting. I must have looked like a blonde fish, sitting there, just gapping. Then a chuckle escaped my lips, as his eyes raised to meet mine. He looked just like a little boy, who just got caught in a crime. I'm surprised we didn't get kicked out for making such a fuss. 'Cause, next thing you know, the whole place is laughing along with us. We couldn't stop, there was no way we'd been able. Not while upsidedown-lap pizza, stared at us from the table
0
Oct 27, 2010
Oct 27, 2010 at 7:04 PM UTC
He Knew How To Impress
I don't know what to think when i'm staring in your eyes more akin to speak in blind lullabies. than logistify my heightened surmise in flight to somewhere nice if only for tonight come with me this night ignite the cindered fires of our desires and incite the throws of light in **** obscurity moaning through the sincerity of our oddities gleaming in the rarity of our academy of lust all or bust entrust the accounting of blaspheme to the enemies of poverty and shove me all the way down your throat fill you instill you with the hope of a million grinning in ********** of the tangled mental merchants of pretty lights and custom curtains drawn at first light dispersing amongst cursing pedestrians prior to *********** of forceful ************ with an another human lightened strikes the truant in 9 months of fluent agony just imagining little Timmy has me scavenging for a shimmy to escape its social **** to a blind ape still patting his head don't be mislead by ***** carriers pack your own barriers and prepare for the scarier side of a mans mind
0
Sep 9, 2012
Sep 9, 2012 at 11:05 PM UTC
warm up spewmanship
The sunset is beautiful I only wish you were here to complete the evening If you were what would we do? Where would we go? Perhaps we'd just stay here sitting on the steps standing over the water leaning on the buildings by the docks simply talking about how life has been individually, several miles apart Familiar our exchanges might be, no small thanks to our fancy flatscreen devices, I'd still want to hear each word while we do whatever we desire because you'd be here and we'd be together at last in person again laughing, smiling, jesting holding and stroking each other poking and patting in this place and that all while looking out at the sunset although I wouldn't want to look away even if I could from those deep brown eyes flowing with the tone of your soft skin and the groomed lines of your elegant hair; perfect as a pristine painting whether afar or in the details. I only wish that you were here beside me.
0
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 10:21 AM UTC
Sunset on the Docks
*Between the night and daylight,      As twilight begins to shower, Comes a lull in the day's preparations,      Cherished as the Kittys' Hour. I hear in the kitchen beside me,      The patter of tiny feet, Rumbles of varying motors      With "meow's" gentle and sweet. Leaping from counter with agile grace      On my shoulder with a purr; Sail grave Thomas and sweet Lady Jane,      And Susan of golden fur. A "meow," and then a long silence,      I know by mischievous eyes, They are scheming and musing together,      To vanquish my weary sighs. With sudden dash from the hallway,      Tortie bounds into my arms! Felines of all colours sit starring,      Delighting me with their charms. Frolicking with skillful ease,      Tossing and batting their catnip-mouse; If I run to escape, they surround me,      They appear to overflow the house. Suffocating me with their kisses,      Furry paws patting my face; And though they have torn the kitchen blinds,      They dazzle me with their grace. I hug you all close in loving arms,      And will n'er let you depart, Nor ****** you dears out to coyotes,      For you each have won my heart. And here shall you dwell forever,      Cherished more each golden day; Till this glad house fall into ruin,      And I in dust shall decay.*                  ~Hilda~
0
Oct 31, 2012
Oct 31, 2012 at 3:07 AM UTC
The Kittys' Hour.
Walking in dim thoughts with the sound of rain outside. The dripping pattern takes me on a pitter-patting journey. I'm neither here, nor there, and yet somewhere I must be. Craving to be healthy, in mind, body and soul. Content perhaps? Aware of who I am and who I will always be. Is anyone like this? Really? Or are we a collected mass of android arms reaching lamely for robot parts? Artificial emotions that fester out like ***** mud shoes left in the hallway. We yawn internally to avoid the truth that we are bored with one another. Raindrops continue, as does my doubting heart as it wraps around the possibility of funerals and Requiem Masses. Long faces and sighing masking the indifference of striving. Together in mood but far apart in disposition. Carry on, rain, carry on. Slip your wetness against the dry spell of my perception. I can see. Or, I can close my eyes to imagine that the tomorrow of thought becomes the infested reality I will be living. I spend too many careless storms wishing for other days to arrive.
0
May 20, 2016
May 20, 2016 at 2:49 PM UTC
The Sound Of Rain
Helen passes me her doll Battered Betty hold her for a minute she says I hold the doll between hands away from me in case she may wet on me as my old man used to do when my kid brother was a babe and he didn't want the kid's *** on his new suit what's wrong with her? I ask she's got a temperature Helen says I look at the doll who looks white and cold and I smile ok I say well take off these clothes and woollen jumper no wonder she's hot and got a temperature we are walking along Meadow Row towards the fish and chips shop over the crossing to get my mother's order do you think she's got a temperature? Helen asks I feel the doll's forehead no it seems fine to me I say ok she says and take the doll back and holds her against her chest rocking the doll side to side and patting the doll's back it's just she seemed hot this morning Helen says when I got her out of bed whose bed? I ask mine she says the one I share with my sister with Betty between us next to Teddy I see I say seeing her rock the doll side to side like a good little mother she's lucky I say I sleep with my little brother.
0
May 18, 2015
May 18, 2015 at 6:19 AM UTC
HELEN'S DOLL 1955
1. Lovingly patting my hands she sows goosebumps enough for two; a rich harvest awaits our hearts. 2. Corners of her dark eyes doodle on my heart's canvas; an art therapy apt, for the lovesick. 3. Pretend, I am invisible, ask him out, make me jealous, frantic antics, just reversed, I understand. 4. Movie runs on the screen, your eyes on mine, see within, what exquisite twists and turns in the storyline of our secret love! 5. Your short floral dress loves to tango with the wind, would I ever complain?
0
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 21, 2015 at 9:14 PM UTC
Seeds of love 1
If you drive down route 235, the lonely parallel line of route 5, running through St. Mary's County, Maryland, between the intersection of Old Three Notch road and St. Andrew's Church road, and the liquor store at the corner of Mattapany-- you must do so with a fat wallet, and a growling stomach, who barks at the flashing signs of the sparkling chain restaurants-- wafting their familiar scents out the windows and onto the busy street. Utterly beleaguered every which way by these olfactory factories, your mouth waters and your wallet lightens as the tantalizing sensations permeate your vehicle. So you cave; another lost soul vacates the street at Restaurant Alley, under the prowling searchlights and the intoxicating smells lingering like a dense fog; You linger in your purgatory with glee. You exit satisfied, patting your abdominous belly and lifting your smiling face to the sky in thanks to the gluttonous gods who rain down these chain restaurants from the heavens. A satisfied sigh seeps out of loose lips, barely hanging on to your fleshy face, so ruddy and fat. You act like your stop was something novel, like it wasn't routine to acquiesce to these temptations; you return to your car to continue your roamings down restaurant alley. Sadly, a full stomach won't stifle a querying nose, and your senses are soon at it again; just as the waiters and waitresses, cooks and busboys-- are back at the window, leaning outside with their clamorings and bustlings and cookings-- You pretend to entertain willpower as your copilot, but even if that were so, your senses would still be at the wheel, with your mind bound and gagged in the trunk. Restaurant Alley goes on for miles and miles and miles, seemingly endless in the permeating fog of burgers and pancakes and pasta and chicken and fries and burgers and soda and ice cream and beer and pasta and wine and America and pancakes and steak and appetizers and desserts and entrees and specials and kids menus and burgers and chicken and pasta and fries and burgers and ice cream and salad and burgers and soda and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat! There's nothing to eat; there's nothing to do but eat in Restaurant Alley, on route 235 in St. Mary's County, Maryland. So fasten your seat belt, and loosen your waist belt, and take a doomed trip down the endless roadway-- where you are dragged, shackled to food chains that haul you from the perdition that is the lobby's waiting room to be seated with loved ones at the mercy seat of Ambrosia.
0
Mar 5, 2016
Mar 5, 2016 at 5:02 PM UTC
Restaurant Alley
If you drive down route 235, the lonely parallel line of route 5, running through St. Mary's County, Maryland, between the intersection of Old Three Notch road and St. Andrew's Church road, and the liquor store at the corner of Mattapany-- you must do so with a fat wallet, and a growling stomach, who barks at the flashing signs of the sparkling chain restaurants-- wafting their familiar scents out the windows and onto the busy street. Utterly beleaguered every which way by these olfactory factories, your mouth waters and your wallet lightens as the tantalizing sensations permeate your vehicle. So you cave; another lost soul vacates the street at Restaurant Alley, under the prowling searchlights and the intoxicating smells lingering like a dense fog; You linger in your purgatory with glee. You exit satisfied, patting your abdominous belly and lifting your smiling face to the sky in thanks to the gluttonous gods who rain down these chain restaurants from the heavens. A satisfied sigh seeps out of loose lips, barely hanging on to your fleshy face, so ruddy and fat. You act like your stop was something novel, like it wasn't routine to acquiesce to these temptations; you return to your car to continue your roamings down restaurant alley. Sadly, a full stomach won't stifle a querying nose, and your senses are soon at it again; just as the waiters and waitresses, cooks and busboys-- are back at the window, leaning outside with their clamorings and bustlings and cookings-- You pretend to entertain willpower as your copilot, but even if that were so, your senses would still be at the wheel, with your mind bound and gagged in the trunk. Restaurant Alley goes on for miles and miles and miles, seemingly endless in the permeating fog of burgers and pancakes and pasta and chicken and fries and burgers and soda and ice cream and beer and pasta and wine and America and pancakes and steak and appetizers and desserts and entrees and specials and kids menus and burgers and chicken and pasta and fries and burgers and ice cream and salad and burgers and soda and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat! There's nothing to eat; there's nothing to do but eat in Restaurant Alley, on route 235 in St. Mary's County, Maryland. So fasten your seat belt, and loosen your waist belt, and take a doomed trip down the endless roadway-- where you are dragged, shackled to food chains that haul you from the perdition that is the lobby's waiting room to be seated with loved ones at the mercy seat of Ambrosia.
Continue reading...
55
How many millions have you got I expect you lost count It's a hellava lot Not forgetting the splendid yacht An artist scans a landscape A comic distills a joke A shopper looks for a parking space An addict drags on a smoke I do what I want one thing at a time Cumulus nimbus are flying high Follow my nose with a healthy dose Of common sense and instinct combined A vicar rehearses a favourite prayer A sailor waits on a breeze A writer sees a story there A woodsman searches the trees A rich man still believes he is poor A lost and lonely is thinking if only Patting the chair and tapping the floor We all go chasing a bit of fun Fulfilment comes in different ways Like writing a poem every day
0
Oct 6, 2012
Oct 6, 2012 at 3:24 PM UTC
Fulfilment
Under the gazebo, you sang in silly cadence while patting along on your lap you smiled so happily. You made my heart beat rapidly and you still do, so easily even now just remembering my heart pounds without warning. It yearns for the memories to repeat. So often, I'll lay and reminisce, even so my heart begs me to rewind, I feel it crying for what's inside.
0
Mar 16, 2017
Mar 16, 2017 at 7:31 AM UTC
Reminiscing
Corporations **** the core Cuts the soul to ribbons Takes all the labor And pays back in paltry paychecks That barely covers our debts Whilst doling out pain and exhaustion But the people are good Hardworking and smiling Straining to maintain That spark of heart That remains While paying their bills And feeding their family The shift starts And tired bodies Stumble in Factory already Rumbling Like last night’s thunder People laughing and chatting Lebanese dude calls me Habibie Grinning and patting me on the back Brown brother give me a knuckle bust As he passes by with a playful gleam in his eyes One guy doesn’t high five but bumps elbows The Congo girls speak another language Beautiful flowing and musically rhythmical The Janitor sings Motown In this factory town these are good people The generators hum The machine sings Doing their thing Hoses circulate water Like life’s blood Taking in the heat And sending it away Bringing back more cool water That does the same Cooling the loud and hot equipment While the employees are stressed and sweating Wearing muscle fatigue and sleep deprivation Like it’s their second skin The machines drums ch, ch, crack Ch, ch crack like a musical number While the workers hustle A smoke break and a popsicle Then back to work A lunch break and a conversation Then back to work Last smoke break and a phone call Then back to work Leaving the factory body hurting But still coming off The assembly line a good person
0
Dec 28, 2015
Dec 28, 2015 at 12:47 PM UTC
Corporate Factory
wednesday  ..                       is faded black jeans/old white tank (too big) (hole from belt buckle centre front) glass of water stuck into the rings left by past week's mugs of beer sitting by the ashtray. and you are better than a nip of rye in the truck cab heading to work. the dust in my lungs (wide open saskatchewan fields) is not as important as watching the clouds stain purple with the sunrise patting two gorgeous farm dogs who run over from behind a silo turned to bronze in the light (there is an angel laying naked in the wheat grain) to nip playfully at my calves while i unchain the derrick, somewhere in my mind's recess it feels like i am loosing atlas from his ******* tho i do not register the thought until later upon waking from a nap. saturday // 1:15:44 pm i am in only briefs now working on a song/i clocked 4                                                                                                       hrs greasing truck 1117 this morning and hauling pallets. daylene from dispatch brought in donuts. i'll spend the afternoon listening to kanye and talking to women online. —there are no girls in estevan. i have (kind of) looked.                                                        sometimes i believe this to be pathetic but then i think further ahead and it's not so bad. you do really meet some nice girls. phone is replete with their numbers & they keep me company on long rides to and from leases, asking about work. hoping that i am well. (once back home by christmas account will be deleted and i can take them out at my leisure. you'll understand i hope that i am not a desperate man. but one has to work with that which he has. would you rather i go lonely? make my home in the mud to croon hank williams to crows?) (temporality.) 15/10/2012 there are now three beer cans on the carpet & one on the washing machine by the bathroom door which i will drink in the shower. it was sort of a long day.
0
Oct 15, 2012
Oct 15, 2012 at 3:09 PM UTC
rough / basement clothes (three days)
wednesday  ..                       is faded black jeans/old white tank (too big) (hole from belt buckle centre front) glass of water stuck into the rings left by past week's mugs of beer sitting by the ashtray. and you are better than a nip of rye in the truck cab heading to work. the dust in my lungs (wide open saskatchewan fields) is not as important as watching the clouds stain purple with the sunrise patting two gorgeous farm dogs who run over from behind a silo turned to bronze in the light (there is an angel laying naked in the wheat grain) to nip playfully at my calves while i unchain the derrick, somewhere in my mind's recess it feels like i am loosing atlas from his ******* tho i do not register the thought until later upon waking from a nap. saturday // 1:15:44 pm i am in only briefs now working on a song/i clocked 4                                                                                                       hrs greasing truck 1117 this morning and hauling pallets. daylene from dispatch brought in donuts. i'll spend the afternoon listening to kanye and talking to women online. —there are no girls in estevan. i have (kind of) looked.                                                        sometimes i believe this to be pathetic but then i think further ahead and it's not so bad. you do really meet some nice girls. phone is replete with their numbers & they keep me company on long rides to and from leases, asking about work. hoping that i am well. (once back home by christmas account will be deleted and i can take them out at my leisure. you'll understand i hope that i am not a desperate man. but one has to work with that which he has. would you rather i go lonely? make my home in the mud to croon hank williams to crows?) (temporality.) 15/10/2012 there are now three beer cans on the carpet & one on the washing machine by the bathroom door which i will drink in the shower. it was sort of a long day.
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32
When she was seven, my grandmother suffered from fever and swollen glands. The doctors believed her tonsils were inflamed, that she needed surgery. Instead, she went to a curandera. The curandera divined that a jealous relative had cast a curse on her and, now, her language of kindness was bound to her throat, the unspoken swelling her glands. As a child my grandmother spoke to santitos with a voice like a chestnut: ruddy and warm, seeds dropping from her mouth. The santitos would take her words into themselves, her voice growing within them like grapevines. During the tonsillitis, when the words no longer fell like seeds from her lips, the santito's vineyards of accent and voice grew vapid, dry as a parched mouth. They went to her tongue and asked why silence imprisoned the words of the child, why lumps were present under her chin, why tears drew channels down her cheeks. I asked my grandmother how her tongue replied. After touching my cheek, she told me she had a dream that night: She was within her lungs and she rose like breath through the moist of her throat. She remembered her tonsils swinging before her like fleshy apples, then a hand taking them into a fist, harvesting their sound. She told me her throat opened in two spots like insect eyes and the names of her children came flying through her wounds like peacocks. Patting my thigh, she said, "That is why the name of your mother is Maria, because she is a prayer, a song of praise to the Holy Mother." She told me this, then showed me two scars on her throat—tiny scars, like two eyelids stitched closed. st - 20 mar 14
0
Mar 20, 2014
Mar 20, 2014 at 7:52 PM UTC
Heredities (1) Etymology (By J. Michael Martinez )
When she was seven, my grandmother suffered from fever and swollen glands. The doctors believed her tonsils were inflamed, that she needed surgery. Instead, she went to a curandera. The curandera divined that a jealous relative had cast a curse on her and, now, her language of kindness was bound to her throat, the unspoken swelling her glands. As a child my grandmother spoke to santitos with a voice like a chestnut: ruddy and warm, seeds dropping from her mouth. The santitos would take her words into themselves, her voice growing within them like grapevines. During the tonsillitis, when the words no longer fell like seeds from her lips, the santito's vineyards of accent and voice grew vapid, dry as a parched mouth. They went to her tongue and asked why silence imprisoned the words of the child, why lumps were present under her chin, why tears drew channels down her cheeks. I asked my grandmother how her tongue replied. After touching my cheek, she told me she had a dream that night: She was within her lungs and she rose like breath through the moist of her throat. She remembered her tonsils swinging before her like fleshy apples, then a hand taking them into a fist, harvesting their sound. She told me her throat opened in two spots like insect eyes and the names of her children came flying through her wounds like peacocks. Patting my thigh, she said, "That is why the name of your mother is Maria, because she is a prayer, a song of praise to the Holy Mother." She told me this, then showed me two scars on her throat—tiny scars, like two eyelids stitched closed. st - 20 mar 14
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7
softly step through the fields of heaven, biting through your frozen fingers, tired toes devouring flesh, of first born hands handicapped, patting pants in hopes of change, the eternal deathly doldrums, commonplace complacence, with cheap creeped fast food, eternally eching for the source, for majorities soaring sorrow.
0
Sep 23, 2014
Sep 23, 2014 at 12:20 AM UTC
Untitled
"I got down on my knees because he said I would 
if I loved him. 
And what did I know then? 
when I first betrayed my body. 
Sold it for a kiss and a smile, 
thought to please at any cause, 
left to fight for independence in the backseat of cars.
On stained leather interior dank with the smell of expectations 
I traded integrity for security and called it love, leaving pieces of an empty shell falling behind my mother patting my head and saying 
“What happened to that nice boy you were dating? ”. 
Well, I pushed memories farther down 
buried beneath piercing sunlight, 
dreams my night would come to save 
and prayed 
scraping already skinned knees 
while I cried myself to sleep. 
So I bit the apple in confusion, 
abandoned my innocence 
beneath the tree of knowledge 
and became as bitter as the fruit 
I couldn’t refuse. 
Time and again, 
giving in, 
giving up, 
waiting, 
always wanting something more than pick-up lines, 
promising more than promiscuity, 
clothing myself in false hopes, 
enclosing my weariness in frail arms for years… Cars turning into bars with one lamp, 
and piles of discarded clothing, 
and I heard myself say “no” over and over. 
But he didn’t hear me, 
wouldn’t listen when he called me a ***** bringing me down and took the only innocence I had left. 
And I was searching still for purity, 
lurking in hidden corners, 
hips swinging, lips pouting, 
trading and shattered innocence 
for bared and braised and offerings 
I learned how to control 
and three years of vengeance passed 
while I was that woman despised. 
Well, they begged for plastic perfection 
found in the temptation inches from their faces and I could feel the longing, 
the lies when they said “You’re so beautiful” 
And it wasn’t enough
And so he loved music more than me, 
loved work more than me, 
loved money more than me, 
loved her more than me. 
And I loved him more than me. 
And I gave in 
to where I thought love hid; 
to the times I thought it was real. 
We give in to what men want, 
we paint ourselves with what we think are the colors of the rainbow, 
when we’re really cloaked in hips and lips, 
the brutal realities that leave us grasping 
tatters of the illusions of love and longing 
and the shattered threads of innocence. 
Until we wear our own colors 
and part the curtains we draped over our mirrors in mourning 
and look ourselves in and say 
“With you I feel like Isis and I am beautiful”.
0
Jan 28, 2014
Jan 28, 2014 at 3:03 AM UTC
When I was 14
"I got down on my knees because he said I would 
if I loved him. 
And what did I know then? 
when I first betrayed my body. 
Sold it for a kiss and a smile, 
thought to please at any cause, 
left to fight for independence in the backseat of cars.
On stained leather interior dank with the smell of expectations 
I traded integrity for security and called it love, leaving pieces of an empty shell falling behind my mother patting my head and saying 
“What happened to that nice boy you were dating? ”. 
Well, I pushed memories farther down 
buried beneath piercing sunlight, 
dreams my night would come to save 
and prayed 
scraping already skinned knees 
while I cried myself to sleep. 
So I bit the apple in confusion, 
abandoned my innocence 
beneath the tree of knowledge 
and became as bitter as the fruit 
I couldn’t refuse. 
Time and again, 
giving in, 
giving up, 
waiting, 
always wanting something more than pick-up lines, 
promising more than promiscuity, 
clothing myself in false hopes, 
enclosing my weariness in frail arms for years… Cars turning into bars with one lamp, 
and piles of discarded clothing, 
and I heard myself say “no” over and over. 
But he didn’t hear me, 
wouldn’t listen when he called me a ***** bringing me down and took the only innocence I had left. 
And I was searching still for purity, 
lurking in hidden corners, 
hips swinging, lips pouting, 
trading and shattered innocence 
for bared and braised and offerings 
I learned how to control 
and three years of vengeance passed 
while I was that woman despised. 
Well, they begged for plastic perfection 
found in the temptation inches from their faces and I could feel the longing, 
the lies when they said “You’re so beautiful” 
And it wasn’t enough
And so he loved music more than me, 
loved work more than me, 
loved money more than me, 
loved her more than me. 
And I loved him more than me. 
And I gave in 
to where I thought love hid; 
to the times I thought it was real. 
We give in to what men want, 
we paint ourselves with what we think are the colors of the rainbow, 
when we’re really cloaked in hips and lips, 
the brutal realities that leave us grasping 
tatters of the illusions of love and longing 
and the shattered threads of innocence. 
Until we wear our own colors 
and part the curtains we draped over our mirrors in mourning 
and look ourselves in and say 
“With you I feel like Isis and I am beautiful”.
Continue reading...
1
These little fingers on his little hand gripping mine to say hello Makes me realize how love can Create and grow Helps me understand what I need to know That life is precious And shouldn't be rushed My own mortality as contrast to his new life I'm definitely not in any rush When my cries for comfort For food For a warm hand patting my *** And cooing me to sleep Are so similar to his. I provide what I can Because I understand And I know what he needs. Two days of life and a lifetime of lessons I wish him better luck than me. And will do what I must So he can live a more robust Life than me.
0
Mar 17, 2017
Mar 17, 2017 at 9:50 PM UTC
These Little Fingers
Almost yesterday, those gentle ladies stole to their baths in Atlantic Cuty, for the lost rites of the first sea of the first salt running from a faucet. I have heard they sat for hours in briny tubs, patting hotel towels sweetly over shivered skin, smelling the stale harbor of a lost ocean, praying at last for impossible loves, or new skin, or still another child. And since this was the style, I don't suppose they knew what they had lost. Almost yesterday, pushing West, I lost ten Utah driving minutes, stopped to steal past postcard vendors, crossed the hot slit of macadam to touch the marvelous loosed bobbing of The Salt Lake, to honor and assault it in its proof, to wash away some slight need for Maine's coast. Later the funny salt itched in my pores and stung like bees or sleet. I rinsed it off on Reno and hurried to steal a better proof at tables where I always lost. Today is made of yesterday, each time I steal toward rites I do not know, waiting for the lost ingredient, as if salt or money or even lust would keep us calm and prove us whole at last.
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The Lost Ingredient
The night before She came She came stronger than ever With her fury locks of blue tipped hair And molten fire eyes that caught your stare Her thundering voice caught the ears of the many And she wailed and she grieved plenty Her eyes bleeding rain to the ground In which many did drown She made her way down the old creek bend Sweeping down trees Sweeping down mountains For she longed for her place In this old, old world Her moans for guidance Tore through the silence Many fear for her name brings shakes And her walk brings quakes Many will run Many will hide But I understand what is deep inside- With her uproar Men know peace and no war With her rain Men can grow all their grains With her thundering cries Men know the quiet and no lies She gives strength to the world And hope for a day anew unfurled She makes me feel at home When she is near I let my heart roam Her thundering voice lulls me to sleep Her pit patting rain- I’m now asleep Her bright flashing eyes watching over me I know I am safe- at last I am free.
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Mar 2, 2016
Mar 2, 2016 at 7:52 PM UTC
Ode to Storms
I’m sick and tired of people rabbiting on a load of **** About their ******* duty and fighting for freedom For the fat ugly patriotic selfish folks "back home" And pathetic ****** neo-fascist ******** like that And gabbling on a load of sentimental horsedung About giving their all for their ******* useless country When honestly they’d rather be at home in some ugly provincial hick town Patting their nasty mongrel dogs and groping their neighbours’ wives' arses And eating mumsy-wumsy’s over-cooked meat and stodgy apple pie Whilst ensconced on the sofa watching sodding Celebrity Big Brother. How can a soldier nowadays say he didn't want to be there? Are people so ******* thick or blind or moronic not to realise A person volunteers to be in the armed forces in most countries nowadays? There’s no ****** press gangs or ****** conscription any more; People become soldiers because they choose to do so (exceptions include filthy ******* shit-holes like Israel where the young men queue up to **** Palestinian babies for fun) . Therefore soldiers DO want to fight, they DO want the chance to **** And they willingly risk their own ugly unwashed redneck necks. So they have no right to whine and bellyache when they get asked To earn their daily state-paid bread and do a spot of killing Instead of sitting on their overweight arses at MY expense. Or course, they could show some real guts and resign instead, But what the **** why pass up on a chance to do some Legalised ****** and get paid handsomely at the same time. Just in case you think I forgot, I am totally and fully aware That 'he' includes 'she' in this context now that women Have an equal chance to have their military buns blown off pointlessly. So don't whinge or expect sympathy when your body parts come home in a bag. Personally, I am of the belief that the only good soldier is a dead soldier, And the more the merrier. RIP military thugs and up yours.
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Sep 16, 2015
Sep 16, 2015 at 12:39 PM UTC
Patriotic Puke
I’m sick and tired of people rabbiting on a load of **** About their ******* duty and fighting for freedom For the fat ugly patriotic selfish folks "back home" And pathetic ****** neo-fascist ******** like that And gabbling on a load of sentimental horsedung About giving their all for their ******* useless country When honestly they’d rather be at home in some ugly provincial hick town Patting their nasty mongrel dogs and groping their neighbours’ wives' arses And eating mumsy-wumsy’s over-cooked meat and stodgy apple pie Whilst ensconced on the sofa watching sodding Celebrity Big Brother. How can a soldier nowadays say he didn't want to be there? Are people so ******* thick or blind or moronic not to realise A person volunteers to be in the armed forces in most countries nowadays? There’s no ****** press gangs or ****** conscription any more; People become soldiers because they choose to do so (exceptions include filthy ******* shit-holes like Israel where the young men queue up to **** Palestinian babies for fun) . Therefore soldiers DO want to fight, they DO want the chance to **** And they willingly risk their own ugly unwashed redneck necks. So they have no right to whine and bellyache when they get asked To earn their daily state-paid bread and do a spot of killing Instead of sitting on their overweight arses at MY expense. Or course, they could show some real guts and resign instead, But what the **** why pass up on a chance to do some Legalised ****** and get paid handsomely at the same time. Just in case you think I forgot, I am totally and fully aware That 'he' includes 'she' in this context now that women Have an equal chance to have their military buns blown off pointlessly. So don't whinge or expect sympathy when your body parts come home in a bag. Personally, I am of the belief that the only good soldier is a dead soldier, And the more the merrier. RIP military thugs and up yours.
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from the very first glimpse of world that greets you every sunday,                                             tuesday or perhaps thursday morning the thought of an ordinary day will not dawn upon you for every day, to you, will be as good as your first and as bad as your last life is your dress rehearsal and its creatures are your cast seated at the breakfast table alone    with alphabet cereal swirling in milk avidly spelling out the names of all the galaxies     and daydreaming of sleeping under the stars daytime means schooltime which is synonymous with underpaid teachers     and high-pitched gossip and boys with peach fuzz who never bothered remembering your name. the cafeteria is a habitat which houses many different species of human including the undercover poet scribbling on a grease-stained napkin : the ballad of a sad child. upon a steady return to the undercover's residence three things occur:       his fountain pen is quenched           his tears dried and of course, a bitter realization that his day had been most banal. so once again the poet sets off footsteps patting against textured carpet    your shaky palms grabbing layers of soft duvet   dragging it across the empty floor through the hallways   and out the front door under the stars    you lay and weep:  safe forever and fully submerged in the calm of the night forever is not a lifetime it seems but the time it takes for the sun to win over the moon in a fight
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Jul 16, 2013
Jul 16, 2013 at 4:04 AM UTC
the life & times of an undercover poet
from the very first glimpse of world that greets you every sunday,                                             tuesday or perhaps thursday morning the thought of an ordinary day will not dawn upon you for every day, to you, will be as good as your first and as bad as your last life is your dress rehearsal and its creatures are your cast seated at the breakfast table alone    with alphabet cereal swirling in milk avidly spelling out the names of all the galaxies     and daydreaming of sleeping under the stars daytime means schooltime which is synonymous with underpaid teachers     and high-pitched gossip and boys with peach fuzz who never bothered remembering your name. the cafeteria is a habitat which houses many different species of human including the undercover poet scribbling on a grease-stained napkin : the ballad of a sad child. upon a steady return to the undercover's residence three things occur:       his fountain pen is quenched           his tears dried and of course, a bitter realization that his day had been most banal. so once again the poet sets off footsteps patting against textured carpet    your shaky palms grabbing layers of soft duvet   dragging it across the empty floor through the hallways   and out the front door under the stars    you lay and weep:  safe forever and fully submerged in the calm of the night forever is not a lifetime it seems but the time it takes for the sun to win over the moon in a fight
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Reaching out mine poetic finger's, None to reach back. Roaming in this passage of expiry, quietus; how solitary tis. Patting panels of mysteriousness, Feel like letting go; Though do I knoweth I shalt get through With God, for with humanity I'm alone. I wilt seest the peep of gleam, just Yonder the gloaming. At the moment dead yet living, Though betimes I'll reach In pure love all that's Right and knowing. With one to hold me In seas of affections Warmth, I'll be the Light I'm meant to Be- I shalt with Other's share Mine torch. © Brandon nagley © Lonesome poets poetry.
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Apr 8, 2017
Apr 8, 2017 at 12:26 PM UTC
Yonder the gloaming, a lonesome soul's roaming